But, what if there is someone better for me out there? - Day 268

There are beings that find themselves without a partner; this has to do with many variables but there is one dimension I would like to bring up within this blog today wherein, one accept and allow the following thoughts pattern to exists within and as oneself:

 

 "But what if there is someone better for me out there? If I commit to a partner but then I'll find another being that is better for me,, what will I do then? And besides, how can I know for sure that this partner is the best one for me? Should I take the risk? Am I compromising here? I better not get into this relationship just in case another beings comes, I will leave the door open for just in case something MORE, Greater may come."

 

Behind the Thoughts Pattern -

 

1. The Desire for Perfect Relationship - the Desire to have a relationship as perfect as it is presented on the Media for instance and the inherited design of the Desire for More is a huge factor in one's decision making regarding one's partner. In this, nothing can satisfied self because the Desire for More and the value that one had attached to 'Perfect relationships' will always stipulate and activate this thoughts pattern that would influence one's decisions and Choices regarding partners and relationships.

Perfect relationship as the value one had assign to the ideal perfect relationship is how one had taught and program oneself throughout one's life with the influence of one's environment and most importantly, the Media. Meaning, throughout time, one would create a belief system around the ideal perfect relationships as an idea that one had associated with a Positive Energetic Charge and thus, as long as one won't 'Feel' that which self had planned to 'Feel' when encountering the 'Perfect Partner' for a 'Perfect Relationship' one would not commit to one partner and would always be on the journey that may lead to the 'Feeling' one believe one should Experience when all the Characteristics and Values one had defined 'perfect relationship' would met.

Here also is where Porn comes in meaning - one create an idea of 'Perfect Sex Partner' according to what one sees on Porn and within that, one knows, in self honesty, that what one sees on Porn is far fetch from Reality and therefor, one wouldn't be able to have that 'Perfect Sex Partner' as how one would like having. Thus, the Hope that maybe, somehow, one could find the perfect sex partner would also be the reason for why one wouldn’t commit to a relationship that may lead to unfulfilled sex Life according to one's perceptions, ideas and beliefs.

 

2. Fear of Making a mistake - Here, one isn't necessarily working with the decision of going into a relationship with a specific partner per say from the perspective that the Fear of making a mistakes would probably manifest in many other aspects of one's life where one would live a life of indecisiveness and would only come to a decision once one is 100% sure that this is the way to go. Whether one is indecisive in nature or not, one must realize that what ever decision we currently making, our decisions are limited to what we perceive possible through and as our minds:

 

“And Many will first make the Mistake of Believing that they’re capable of Assessing Information with their Preprogrammed Knowledge and will Refuse to go through the Obvious Commonsense necessity of First Purifying EVERYTHING they consist of – Every Word, Every Part, Every Memory so that it can be Aligned to What is Best for All Life.” Bernard Poolman

 

From the Fear of making mistakes with regards to choosing the partner and later finding out that there might be someone better for self, one would then try and justify the fear through consciously creating other fears such as for instance, 'Fear of Commitment' and 'Fear of Living a life of Regret'. These fears are actually a reaction to one's fear of making a mistakes and instead of going into the deep, core, source and origin of this Fear and sort self out, one would create justifications and excuses as a Reaction instead of walking the Correction Process and moving to Prevention as a Principle one lives by.

 

What is interesting in this Thoughts pattern is that it form part of the Chameleon character (Which I suggest clicking the hyperlink to read Earth's Journey to Life Blog). Here, the Chameleon would change one's preference according to how the world view a perfect relationship as. For instance, decays ago, you wouldn't normally see a tall woman with a short man however a new trend started when Nicole Kidman and Tom Cruise where together. Another example would be skin colours - decays ago, White was Superior to Brown and having coloured partners where something everyone would gossip about. Nowadays when Brown is Equal to White or even in some countries Superior to White, coloured partners is quite Normal.

Another example could be when one partner is a successful business man/woman that is being invited to Elitist Social Gathering. For such occasions, if the partner would not have a partner that is normally accepted in such events (best outfit, hair style, mannerism, social behaviour skills, etc.), one would be a gossiping target and due to the 'shame' that involved, one would make the Decision regarding a partner beforehand.

Thus, the Chameleon Character within the above thoughts pattern would always want to adapt oneself to the current trend and to not be "stuck" with a partner that do not stand in alignment to the current world trend within the context of the perfect partner. And since the trends are changes from time to time, one would prefer leaving a door open to align oneself to how the world would see oneself in relationship to one's prospect partner.

 

For myself, I remember at age 16, having this thoughts pattern coming up after a few months of extensive relationship with a partner. I looked at my future and I was sure that there must be something more, that there must be a better partner and the moment these thoughts slowly but surely accumulated into a point of no return, I ended the relationship and started the journey of seeking for more, seeking for the better man while all along, it seems now that with all the relationships that I had, the first guy, my first boyfriend was far more than any other guy I was with. But you can read all about it on my previous blogs. (use the search button). What I'm seeing now was how through the desire for more, I sabotaged and compromised a partnership that could have developed to a supportive and effective agreement though, it is unlikely that I would have find Desteni if I would to remain in the partnership from age 16 lol. The point is - one cannot trust oneself and one's decision once this thoughts pattern comes up in one's mind. what one can trust is that one is deceiving oneself to not face the actuality of one's fear of making a mistake and within that to support and assist oneself to assess the potential of walking with another within the principle of that which is best for all which means that within a partnership, both stand as a pillar of support for themselves and each other to expand, grow, develop and empower themselves to be and become and obviously stand as an effective human beings in this world.

 

The Corrective application within the context of such thoughts pattern is to have a look at one's decisions and choices and to learn how to assess the potential that would result with an outcome that is best for all. Here, I also suggest reading through the Blog Series: Birthing ourselves as life, as a partnership (Day 143 onwards).

The practical correction would be:

go through the Obvious Commonsense necessity of First Purifying EVERYTHING they consist of – Every Word, Every Part, Every Memory so that it can be Aligned to What is Best for All Life.” Bernard Poolman

Why Females attracted to Males that are unavailable for a relationship - Day 172

 

This is a continuation to:

Part 1 - My First Love.

Part 2 - What is Love to me?

What is Spiritual Love to me? - Part 3 - Day 158

No Sex - No Relationship - Day 167

Men only think about Sex? - Day 168

Values System Within my Mind – Day 169

The Love Experience - Day 170

Wanting to be Saved by Prince Charming - Day 171

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to feel comfortable with unavailable men because then, the chances of me getting hurt are almost nonexistent however, within that, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to consider me and me only wherein, I didn't take into consideration the female that is involved and how I'm directly responsible to a friction that is caused in their relationship.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to orient myself towards unavailable guys to bypass the fear of being hurt again instead of taking responsibility for myself and that which I've accepted and allowed myself to participate with - blaming others for my own self victimization and to in that, sort myself out and prepare myself for an effective relationship with a male where we could start from the get go, build, develop and establish effective relationship that is not based on past memory experiences but rather on the potential of us standing together, in alignment, assisting and supporting ourselves to become a better human beings in this world, accepting our responsibilities as human beings in this world and so - grow and expand ourselves together within the principle of what is best for all.

 

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to utilize my abilities to assist and support human beings when it comes to unavailable males wherein, instead of supporting them to correct and establish a functioning best for all relationship/agreement with their partner, I would lure them into falling in love with me, so that I could feel desirable and yearn for while disrespecting within this, myself, the male and the male's partner.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to consider unavailable men as a challenge, as if I must get them to prove that I'm more than their partner, as if having them, will satisfied my own self worth, not seeing, realizing and understanding that my participation within my desire to feel desirable in comparison to the male's partner is indicating exactly the opposite wherein, I've placed my self worth in other beings, in separation of me and in accepting and allowing the above design within and as me, self worth is nonexistent as I require something else to give me worth and in doing so, would crash over anyone in the attempt to get this alleged self worth as I've accepted and allowed my own self interest as my directive principle.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to experience stress when talking with a man that is available for a relationship and experience calmness amalgamate with naughtiness when communicating with a male that is unavailable for a relationship and within that, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to access the seducer character when and as I meet a guy that is unavailable for a relationship from the starting point of feeling desirable and more attractive than their own partner.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to open a door for the males to leave their partner in order to choose to be with me instead of instead of standing as a pillar of support, deleting my own self interest desire to feel MORE and stand as a principle of that which is best for all and in that, assist and support the male to support himself to support the relationship with his partner within the principle of Give as you'd like to receive.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to move and speak in a specific mannerism when communicating with unavailable guy for a relationship and within the way I move and speak, to seduce them in falling in love with me, so that they could break up from their partner and be with me and I'll get what I want - a momentary feeling of being MORE and in this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to move and speak differently as how I would move and speak with all human beings equally as one, when communicating with unavailable men.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to be with a man that was previously unavailable and was breaking up with his partner for "me" and despite of me knowing how the pattern fold itself and how the man is really not trust worthy, I have accepted and allowed this man in my life for a momentary feeling like I'm MORE and thus, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to- when in a relationship such as this, to constantly fear that the relationship would end as I know within and as me that the starting point of this relationship was based on Energy and that the energy would eventually dissipate and the guy would move on to the next target to continue recharging himself with a new and exciting experience.

 

I Commit myself to STOP and DELETE my desire to Feel MORE as I see, realize and understand the consequences of my actions when playing along with my desire for a specific experience.

 

I commit myself to stand as a pillar of support when and as I communicate with a guy that I see him having secret agendas in relation to me as I've came to learn how the body moves and how the voice change and what specific words the guy would use when and as the guy is interested in me while having a relationship with another woman. And thus, I commit myself to immediately assess, test and check within and as myself, whether or not there is even the slightest movement of a energetic desire within and as me. If I find that there is, I Delete the Desire, Breath and place myself back here. when I'm done, clear and stable within myself, I assist and support the male through showing him what he is accepting and allowing within himself and accordingly, open up this point, support him in changing his starting point in his relationship with his partner from energy starting point to Physical support starting point.

 

I Commit myself to not accept and allow myself to continuing the game that I was playing with unavailable guys within the belief that in this way, I cannot be hurt again and instead, to sort myself out within and as myself through a process of self forgiveness, self honesty and self corrective physical application as I see, realize and understand that participating in this game indicate that I've not accepted and allowed me as who I am and that in fact, I'm less than who I am when requiring others to validate and give me worth.

Wanting to be Saved by Prince Charming - Day 171

This is a continuation to:

Part 1 - My First Love.

Part 2 - What is Love to me?

What is Spiritual Love to me? - Part 3 - Day 158

No Sex - No Relationship - Day 167

Men only think about Sex? - Day 168

Values System Within my Mind – Day 169

The Love Experience - Day 170

 

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to create and believe in my creation of my own misery so that I could live out the fantasy of being saved by my Prince Charming and as years passed by and the ONE LOVE didn't show up, I created more misery for myself and more sadness for myself, not seeing the relationship between my desire to be saved by the ONE and the misery that I put myself through so that I could have this experienced of being saved. In this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to separate myself to such an extent that I prepared the way before me, in deliberateness, for someone to save me through the belief that it would be the only way that I could experience the LOVE, not seeing, realizing and understanding the consequential outflows of my desires.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed the desire of being saved from  my own sadness as a design that I've created within and as myself, looking for the missing piece - for a guy that would play along within this design - one that had accepted and allowed oneself to participate within and as the Desire to Save.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to want to LIVE out the fantasy of a princess that is being saved by prince charming and accordingly, had set the scenes, preparing myself so completely with accessing all the agony and sadness that comes with it and I haven't seen, realized and understood how this fantasy was created through imprinting the fairy tales story into me, already from the childhood years, believing that this should be my story and therefore, became the character of my own life, to stand in alignment with the fantasy scene that I was busy building up where all along, the one point that kept me going was HOPE that my Love Story would end up like in the Movies = happily ever after.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to get in a relationship from the starting point of the desire of being saved and I haven't seen, realized and understood the consequences of starting a relationship from a desire to be saved wherein, once I change my the dynamic within the relationship where I no longer need to be saved as I already experienced that LOVE and already got the guy, the relationship can no longer stand since it was no more in alignment with the desire of wanting to be saved as wanting to save.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to manipulate guys through my own desire to be saved, through presenting myself as Sad and within that, to open a door for the guy, to access his own design of being the saviour so that we could both play the game and live happily ever after.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to manipulate myself through deliberately become the sadness character - always seeking for Drama, for a story that I would then utilize to manipulate the guys that are carrying the Design of a saviour and within my own self manipulation, I became to know me as Sad and accepted the sadness as me, not seeing, realizing and understanding that becoming sad was my own deliberate decision that I've accepted and allowed myself to stand as and I haven't seen how powerful I am within my own creation of sadness, as I've also created the forgetfulness that I was the one who decided to create myself as sadness as a manipulative action to attract a guy.

 

For male's perspective regarding the design of wanting to save a girl - suggest reading Fidelis's Journey to Life - Day 65 - Also Attracted to Broken Girls Part 2 

 

I Commit myself to show how a child is creating a fantasy in one's mind, in the first 7 years of one's life and accordingly, would slowly but surely, start playing the character role that one had put forth to oneself without seeing, realizing and understanding the consequential outflows that one is creating within the acceptance and allowance of oneself to participate in one's desires that one would design oneself as throughout one's life.

 

I Commit myself to remind myself that I am always the ONE who decide and what ever I created myself as, I also created the forgetfulness of becoming my own creation so that I would never find out that I've created myself as such and accordingly change.

 

I Commit myself to Expose the Design of the Saviour and being Saved that human beings are participating in our journey to find the ONE, the LOVE and within that, SHOW the relationship between the Design and the Media.

 

I Commit myself to be attentive to how my Mode is changing when and as I meet a guy and within that, make sure that I'm not accessing the design of being saved where I would manipulate myself into becoming sad to draw attention within the Hope that the guy would play along and carry the Saviour character.

Sexual Journey - Early Adulthood years - Part 3 - Day 135

 

This is a continuation to:

Sexual Journey - Day 132

Sexual Journey - Early Adulthood years - Day 133

Sexual Journey - Early Adulthood years - Part 2 - Day 134

 

I commit myself to SHOW the consequences of when the parents do not have the skills to educate their children with regards to their sexuality and how with no effective communication between the parents and the children, the children would be doomed to a cycle of self sabotage where they would be forced to experience their sexuality from the mind dimension instead of establishing a physical support through sex and masturbation.

 

I commit myself to my own process of re-educating myself with regards to Sex with the assistance and support of the Agreement/relationship course presented by the Desteni Group as well as through listening to the interviews: What is Sex and the Shocking Secret of Masturbation within the starting point of seeing, realizing and understanding what Sex and Masturbation IS for me, what is the History of Sex and Masturbation and how to transform the starting point from Mind Sex to Physical Sex.

 

I commit myself to develop and establish an effective communication with my partner and to stop hiding behind my secret mind where I form all kind of fantasies and illusions that I've already seen for myself that it has no ground in the physical reality.

 

I commit myself to Support those who would walk the development and establishment of Programs to assist and support Parents and Children wherein the parents would be taught parenting skills that are required to raise an effective physical living human being in this world.

 

I commit myself to continue exposing the Patterns/characters/personalities that I've formed and manifested within and as me with regards to sexuality so that I would continue assisting and supporting myself in changing myself from mind expression to a physical expression of LIFE that is HERE and through me changing myself, I would be able to support others as a living example of what I've walked, how I've changed and what it took me to change myself as an example that a change is possible.

 

I commit myself to SHOW that despite of the parents not communicating with their children with regards to sexuality, the children are the exact duplicate of their parents as the resonant imprint of Sex and Sexuality is busy installed within the children's mind from the get go and thus, I commit myself to SHOW how to support Children in developing an intimate relationship with themselves to be able to develop, establish and create an effective/supportive relationship/agreement with their partner where they could grow and empower themselves according to principles of that which is best for all.

 

I commit myself to state the OVBIOUS again and again and again that when the parents place limits in their children lives without communicating their starting point and explaining in details the common sense perspectives, the children would go and do anything to break the limits even if it means that they would abuse and sabotage themselves on the way.

 

I commit myself to keep unfolding for myself my relationship to sex and sexuality because I now see, realize and understand how sex and sexuality is/was a great influence in my decision making and my entire existence and within writing myself for over a month now with regards to sex and sexuality, I realize how important it is to investigate, go deeper and expose every dimension of myself because it's clear to me now that I have never in fact lived but rather lived as the mind, in a very limited form which isn't LIFE that I would wish for myself or anyone else.

 

I commit myself to SHOW that what we have come as the relationship between the Mind and the Physical isn't something to take personally but instead, to see the relationship as what it is, stand in equality and oneness as what we have become, change the starting point to a best for all physical expression and stand for eternity in self honesty. Within that, I commit myself to stop my own self judgment with regards to sex and sexuality as I see, realize and understand that I never in fact had physical sex and all my judgements are a self sabotage tool that I'm using to keep my own enslavement to my own mind and within that - I'm the only one who in fact decide and through realizing that I'm the one who decide - I decide to stop judging myself and fuel my mind and instead, to continue assisting and supporting myself in every moment of every breath to align myself to myself in equality and oneness.

 

Also, I suggest listening to:

What is Sex - Who am I as Sex - Part 30

What is Sex - Why am I as Sex - Part 31

 

For more context, please read -

Sexual Expression – Overview  Day 112

Investigating Sexual Expression - Self Forgiveness Part 1 - Day 113

Investigating Sexual Expression - Self Commitments - Part 1 - Day 114

 

Investigating Sexual Expression - Part 2 - Day 121

Investigating Sexual Expression - Self Forgiveness - Part 2 - Day 122

Investigating Sexual Expression - Self Commitments - Part 2 - Day 123

 

Spilling semen in vain - Day 115

Spilling semen in vain - Self Forgiveness -  Day 116

Spilling semen in vain - Self Commitments -  Day 117

 

Be Fruitful and Multiply - Day 118

Be Fruitful and Multiply - Self Forgiveness - Day 119

Be Fruitful and Multiply - Self Commitments - Day 120

 

Sexual Inadequacy - Overview - Day 124

Sex in the Dark – Sexual Inadequacy–Part 1 - Day 125

Sex in the Dark – Sexual Inadequacy – Part 2 - Day 126

Sexual Education - Part 1 - Day 127

Sexual Education - Part 2 - Day 128

 

My Partner is Boring - Let's breakup - Day 129

This relationship is BORING - Self Forgiveness - Day 130

My Partner IS BORING - Self Commitments - Day 131

Sexual Journey - Early Adulthood years - Part 2 - Day 134

This is a continuation to:

Sexual Journey - Day 132

Sexual Journey - Early Adulthood years - Day 133

 

Continuing with yesterday blog because I wasn't completely satisfied that I've written all the points in the utmost specificity and also, I was writing from a personal point of view instead of seeing the pattern that played out within myself and others as myself in one's early Adulthood years in relation to Parents, children and sexuality.

 

 

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed a world where there is a collective acceptance with regards to no communication about Sex at home and therefore, the child always ended up with discovering, exploring and investigate one's sexuality by oneself, carrying the resonant influences the parents are holding upon sex and sexuality and accordingly, the child would either be open to sexuality and would allow oneself to explore sexuality or the child would suppress one's sexuality due to a set of belief that it's wrong, forbidden and bad.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed a world where the children are not being educated with regards to sex as a physical expression from the perspective of what would support the physical body and what wouldn't and thus, the child would go and investigate the points for oneself, most likely to expose oneself to abuse of oneself and the body because the child wasn't prepared for the Real Life but instead, was exposed to sexuality through what one's seen or heard over the media, develop likes and dislikes and would never in fact explore Sex as a physical expression of oneself but would end up having sex through the mind as one had develop and manifested ideas/fantasies/illusions about sexuality that one would try and attempt to live out or suppress, according to what one is carrying from one's parents' belief systems.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed a world where sexual education is based on a polarity of FEAR of getting STDs when having sex with multiple partners and on the other hand, sexual experiences are prompt over the Media that activates one's sexual fantasies that one desire to manifest for oneself. In this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed a world where the media is pushing children to have various kinds and types of sexual experiences and thus, when and as one finds out that one cannot manifest and align the illusionary sexual reality with the physical reality, one would simple go and find another adventure, with a new partner, repeating the same cycle as the desire for a specific experience that one would never achieve, which lead one to find a new partner.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed a world where parents do not educate their children with regards to sexuality, as the parents are busy reacting to that topic as it defined as something one shouldn't communicate with one's children, as something one should only do in a relationship when one is old enough. In this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed a world where parents are not educated themselves in how to educate their children and in this, children left alone to discover their sexuality depending on the resonance imprint their parents had passed onto them.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed a world where children experiencing Shame and Guilt for having sex despite of their parents not allowing them to experience sex until the conditions are met according to the parents' eye's view and in this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed a world where children do not have a proper sex education that would allow them to express, explore and investigate who they are as a physical sexual expression and instead, they are pushed through to their minds, to develop multiple ideas about sex and sexuality where they later on attempt to manifest despite of the self abuse they would take themselves through within and as themselves.

 

Also, I suggest listening to:

What is Sex - Who am I as Sex - Part 30

What is Sex - Why am I as Sex - Part 31

 

For more context, please read -

Sexual Expression – Overview  Day 112

Investigating Sexual Expression - Self Forgiveness Part 1 - Day 113

Investigating Sexual Expression - Self Commitments - Part 1 - Day 114

 

Investigating Sexual Expression - Part 2 - Day 121

Investigating Sexual Expression - Self Forgiveness - Part 2 - Day 122

Investigating Sexual Expression - Self Commitments - Part 2 - Day 123

 

Spilling semen in vain - Day 115

Spilling semen in vain - Self Forgiveness -  Day 116

Spilling semen in vain - Self Commitments -  Day 117

 

Be Fruitful and Multiply - Day 118

Be Fruitful and Multiply - Self Forgiveness - Day 119

Be Fruitful and Multiply - Self Commitments - Day 120

 

Sexual Inadequacy - Overview - Day 124

Sex in the Dark – Sexual Inadequacy–Part 1 - Day 125

Sex in the Dark – Sexual Inadequacy – Part 2 - Day 126

Sexual Education - Part 1 - Day 127

Sexual Education - Part 2 - Day 128

 

My Partner is Boring - Let's breakup - Day 129

This relationship is BORING - Self Forgiveness - Day 130

My Partner IS BORING - Self Commitments - Day 131

Investigating Sexual Expression - Self Commitments - Part 1 - Day 114

This is a continuation to:

Sexual Expression – Overview  Day 112

Investigating Sexual Expression - Self Forgiveness Part 1 - Day 113

 

 

I commit myself to - when and as I hear words that activated a reaction as energy movement within and as myself, to investigate the word, to redefine the word and purify myself as the living word wherein, when hearing a word, I  won't activate memories, associations, definitions, beliefs within and as myself which I will automatically give attention to and accordingly, give myself up, become non existent as I gave permission to my mind to be the directive principle instead of me, purifying myself to accordingly direct myself in every given moment, breath by breath.

 

I commit myself to SHOW how through the reactions of our parents to specific words, we decide who we are as we've copied and duplicated our parents reactions, because apparently, they know it all, they know what is best for us, despite of the fact that has been proven in many psychology studied that parents has no clue about the influence and consequences they cause to their children.

 

I Commit myself to become intimate with myself as my human physical body in a journey of exploring myself and the investigation of the definition that I've gave to specific organs of my human physical body to assist and support myself with being comfortable with myself. I see now, that I'm lucky to have a human physical body to cross reference my application and it is my responsibility as such, to stand equal and one as my human physical body as the entirety of the body, all the organs, cells, veins etc. and accordingly, to utilise my body as a support of my process of stepping out of my mind instead of continue abusing my body through my acceptance and allowances of participation in my mind.

 

I Commit myself to assist and support Parents in qualifying them with supportive and effective parenting skills, as I walk my own process from the moment of emerging to this earth, in a time line till now, through my process of sharing my self-investigation process of who I am, through sharing my process of how I practically assisting and supporting myself to unchain myself from my social beliefs and norms that I've integrated into myself as my mind and accordingly, reprogram myself from fuckupness to perfection as I walk my process of self responsibility, in self forgiveness and practical corrective application in self honesty.

 

I commit myself to correct my past sexual relationships within and as myself through a process of self forgiveness in self honesty, to stop the self sabotage/abuse patterns that I've accepted and allowed myself to become through suppressing sexuality and making it more than what it is as a physical communication with myself and my partner.

 

I Commit myself to educate myself with regards of the relationship between the mind and the physical, to be able to understand myself and what I have become and accordingly, stop judging that which I do not understand and rather, change myself according to principles of Oneness and Equality.

 

I commit myself to SHOW that we are busy judging that which we do not understand because we didn't have an example, as effective parents with parenting skills to walk with us as equals and explain to us, from the get go, the relationship between the mind and the physical.

And I commit myself to support those who will walk the development and establishment of parenting skills programs, to bring about, a balance and effective parents who would become the example of the generation to come so that we could once and for all, stop the fuckupness we call earth and humans and create a world of humans beings that walk, move and direct themselves according to that which is best for all. 

Investigating Sexual Expression - Self Forgiveness Part 1 - Day 113

This is a continuation to:

Sexual Expression – Overview  Day 112

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself as a child of this world, to feel and experience shame when and as the words: "Vagina, Penis, fuck, sex" where spoken as an automated reaction within and as myself and within that, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself, from a very young age, to react in shame and un-comfortability, when and as I heard the words: "Vagina, Penis, fuck, sex" because I've attached, defined and connected those words within a negative energetic charge and within it, have attached, defined and connected those words to the emotions of shame and un-comfortability.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to connect, attach and define the words "Vagina, Penis, fuck, sex" with sexual connotation and association as 'wrong' and/or 'bad', as if the words in itself are dirty/impure. Within that, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to investigate my own reactions to specific words and simply accepted the words to exists within and as an energetic charge that I've imprinted from my parents as I saw their reactions towards those words and accordingly, adopted the reactions as my own.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to believe that the 'sexual' organs of the human physical body are not to be touched, not to be discussed, not to be equal and one with. In this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to create the belief that the sexual organs are not to be touched, discussed and stand equal and one with and have thus, accepted and allowed my own separation from and as myself.

 

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to investigate the touch and explore me as my human physical body through the belief that I must not "go there", it is forbidden and wrong and within that acceptance and allowances of the social codes and norms of my environment, I've accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from my human physical body without seeing, realizing and understanding the consequences that I would face in my adult years in relation to Sexuality.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to judge sexuality from a very young age as wrong, forbidden and dirty due to our collective belief and idea that there is a time and place to practice sexuality and before you get to a certain age/place, you may not speak, think, explore sexuality.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to sabotage my early age relationship with a male because according to my belief, I shouldn't have a sexual relationship until I reach a certain age and accordingly, I've decided to suppress my sexuality and didn't allow myself to explore who I am as a sexual human being, with myself or with my partner because I gave all my power away to the voices in my heads/policemen in my head that told me that it's not the time, I'm not allowed to do that, my parents will be disappointed of me and when the policeman in my head was unbearable, I've decided to end the relationship so that I won't be in a tempting position of actually exploring my sexuality.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to NOT see the relationship between my mind and my sexuality wherein I've only defined sexuality through the mind, disregarding the physical aspect of Sexuality.

 

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to explore my sexuality within and as myself because the idea of touching myself came with the experience of shame, dirtiness, filthiness, disgust and immoral and because I haven't understood the Equality and Oneness with and as my human physical body, I've judged myself as all those mind component and accordingly, have decided to suppress the physical reaction that emerged within and as myself because if I allow myself to act on the physical requirement for sex or masturbation, I will be defined as dirty, filthy, disgust and immoral.

Curiosity in relation to Sex - Day 28

Life Review - Death by Sex

I've started to walk the point of curiosity and while walking the point realized that many layers and dimension that exists within curiosity.

Please read Curiosity of Knowledge and information - day 27

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed a world where children are not being educated effectively with regards to sex and thus, develop curiosity according to what they watch and read in the various media channels and thus, abuse themselves, their human physical body and each other in their quest to understand what Sex is and yet, there is no actual and physical understanding of What is Sex and how to assist and support oneself through and as sex.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed a world where porn exists from the starting point of Profit through generating curiosity within being's mind which than indulge being to abuse themselves and other in this world through the attempt to satisfied one's brainwashed desires of attaining sex in the nature of Porn.

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see the relationship between curiosity, porn and Money and I've accepted a world where being abused and manipulated for the sake of profit making instead of utilizing the support structure and effectively educate the people with What sex IS and how to utilize sex as a physical support for oneself and one's partner.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed a world where Sex is not understood and thus, has become a point of abuse of ourselves and others without any consideration of the consequences.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed a world where Masturbation is done secretly in the attempt to sustain the curiosity of a child that has got no assistance and support in terms of be and becoming intimate with oneself.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed as a parent in this world to not educate and support children with regards to the understanding of What SEX is and how to use sex as self expression as a physical support to the human physical body and within that, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to accept the responsibility of myself as a parent in this world to support my children to be and become effective human beings because I didn't have the skills to be an effective educator to my children and thus, created curiosity within their mind in relation to sex without understanding and seeing the consequences thereof.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to be curious with regards to sex in a very young age but because I believed it is not allowed or it's Wrong, I didn't allow myself to investigate sex as a physical expression but rather developed judgement and therefore fears as a protection mechanism to not remain in a situation where self judgement thoughts occur.

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to investigate and explore the points that I've been curious about with regards to sex because I've judged it as wrong and within that, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to remain in my mind within the curious nature of thoughts about sex because I believed that if nobody knows what I'm thinking about, than it's ok to keep on participating within the thoughts and I forgive myself that I've not accepted and allowed myself to see that following the curios thoughts only supported me to suppress myself more and more without giving me the gift to investigate and explore myself physical/sexually within self intimacy. 

Life Review - Educated into a Sex-Slave

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to suppress the curiosity with regards to Sex because instead of investigate, explore and become intimate with myself I've played the scenes in my mind within the fantasy domain and yet, judged myself for it because I believed that one is not even allowed to think about these type of thoughts.

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to educate myself with regards to sex because I felt ashamed and embarrassed about it, and thus, haven't taken the responsibility to be effective support for curious children and adults within the assistance and support with understanding Sex as a physical support structure.

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see how curiosity with regards to sex is being used and manipulated in the media to promote products or services for the sake of money and profit without taking into consideration the influences that is cause to one's life and this world as a whole.

I commit myself to educate myself and others in this world with regards to WHAT SEX IS so that we can assist and support our human physical body within and through sex instead of abusing ourselves, others and the human physical body.

I commit myself to developed cross referenced skills to educate and support the children in this world with regards to sex so that we can stop the manifested consequences of uneducated beings that being preoccupied in their mind with sex thoughts during a massive amount of time during the days.

I commit myself to stop the porn industry that is based on Money as it is clearly of no support to that which is best for all

I commit myself to assist and support the children in this world to understand their sexual physical expression to utilize the expression in a form of a physical body support.

I commit myself to investigate and explore physical sexual expression and to stop judging sex and who I am within sex.