This is a continuation to:
What is Spiritual Love to me? - Part 3 - Day 158
No Sex - No Relationship - Day 167
Men only think about Sex? - Day 168
Values System Within my Mind – Day 169
Wanting to be Saved by Prince Charming - Day 171
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to orient myself towards unavailable guys to bypass the fear of being hurt again instead of taking responsibility for myself and that which I've accepted and allowed myself to participate with - blaming others for my own self victimization and to in that, sort myself out and prepare myself for an effective relationship with a male where we could start from the get go, build, develop and establish effective relationship that is not based on past memory experiences but rather on the potential of us standing together, in alignment, assisting and supporting ourselves to become a better human beings in this world, accepting our responsibilities as human beings in this world and so - grow and expand ourselves together within the principle of what is best for all.
I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to utilize my abilities to assist and support human beings when it comes to unavailable males wherein, instead of supporting them to correct and establish a functioning best for all relationship/agreement with their partner, I would lure them into falling in love with me, so that I could feel desirable and yearn for while disrespecting within this, myself, the male and the male's partner.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to consider unavailable men as a challenge, as if I must get them to prove that I'm more than their partner, as if having them, will satisfied my own self worth, not seeing, realizing and understanding that my participation within my desire to feel desirable in comparison to the male's partner is indicating exactly the opposite wherein, I've placed my self worth in other beings, in separation of me and in accepting and allowing the above design within and as me, self worth is nonexistent as I require something else to give me worth and in doing so, would crash over anyone in the attempt to get this alleged self worth as I've accepted and allowed my own self interest as my directive principle.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to experience stress when talking with a man that is available for a relationship and experience calmness amalgamate with naughtiness when communicating with a male that is unavailable for a relationship and within that, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to access the seducer character when and as I meet a guy that is unavailable for a relationship from the starting point of feeling desirable and more attractive than their own partner.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to open a door for the males to leave their partner in order to choose to be with me instead of instead of standing as a pillar of support, deleting my own self interest desire to feel MORE and stand as a principle of that which is best for all and in that, assist and support the male to support himself to support the relationship with his partner within the principle of Give as you'd like to receive.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to move and speak in a specific mannerism when communicating with unavailable guy for a relationship and within the way I move and speak, to seduce them in falling in love with me, so that they could break up from their partner and be with me and I'll get what I want - a momentary feeling of being MORE and in this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to move and speak differently as how I would move and speak with all human beings equally as one, when communicating with unavailable men.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to be with a man that was previously unavailable and was breaking up with his partner for "me" and despite of me knowing how the pattern fold itself and how the man is really not trust worthy, I have accepted and allowed this man in my life for a momentary feeling like I'm MORE and thus, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to- when in a relationship such as this, to constantly fear that the relationship would end as I know within and as me that the starting point of this relationship was based on Energy and that the energy would eventually dissipate and the guy would move on to the next target to continue recharging himself with a new and exciting experience.
I Commit myself to STOP and DELETE my desire to Feel MORE as I see, realize and understand the consequences of my actions when playing along with my desire for a specific experience.
I commit myself to stand as a pillar of support when and as I communicate with a guy that I see him having secret agendas in relation to me as I've came to learn how the body moves and how the voice change and what specific words the guy would use when and as the guy is interested in me while having a relationship with another woman. And thus, I commit myself to immediately assess, test and check within and as myself, whether or not there is even the slightest movement of a energetic desire within and as me. If I find that there is, I Delete the Desire, Breath and place myself back here. when I'm done, clear and stable within myself, I assist and support the male through showing him what he is accepting and allowing within himself and accordingly, open up this point, support him in changing his starting point in his relationship with his partner from energy starting point to Physical support starting point.
I Commit myself to not accept and allow myself to continuing the game that I was playing with unavailable guys within the belief that in this way, I cannot be hurt again and instead, to sort myself out within and as myself through a process of self forgiveness, self honesty and self corrective physical application as I see, realize and understand that participating in this game indicate that I've not accepted and allowed me as who I am and that in fact, I'm less than who I am when requiring others to validate and give me worth.
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