Investigating Sexual Expression - Self Commitments - Part 1 - Day 114

This is a continuation to:

Sexual Expression – Overview  Day 112

Investigating Sexual Expression - Self Forgiveness Part 1 - Day 113

 

 

I commit myself to - when and as I hear words that activated a reaction as energy movement within and as myself, to investigate the word, to redefine the word and purify myself as the living word wherein, when hearing a word, I  won't activate memories, associations, definitions, beliefs within and as myself which I will automatically give attention to and accordingly, give myself up, become non existent as I gave permission to my mind to be the directive principle instead of me, purifying myself to accordingly direct myself in every given moment, breath by breath.

 

I commit myself to SHOW how through the reactions of our parents to specific words, we decide who we are as we've copied and duplicated our parents reactions, because apparently, they know it all, they know what is best for us, despite of the fact that has been proven in many psychology studied that parents has no clue about the influence and consequences they cause to their children.

 

I Commit myself to become intimate with myself as my human physical body in a journey of exploring myself and the investigation of the definition that I've gave to specific organs of my human physical body to assist and support myself with being comfortable with myself. I see now, that I'm lucky to have a human physical body to cross reference my application and it is my responsibility as such, to stand equal and one as my human physical body as the entirety of the body, all the organs, cells, veins etc. and accordingly, to utilise my body as a support of my process of stepping out of my mind instead of continue abusing my body through my acceptance and allowances of participation in my mind.

 

I Commit myself to assist and support Parents in qualifying them with supportive and effective parenting skills, as I walk my own process from the moment of emerging to this earth, in a time line till now, through my process of sharing my self-investigation process of who I am, through sharing my process of how I practically assisting and supporting myself to unchain myself from my social beliefs and norms that I've integrated into myself as my mind and accordingly, reprogram myself from fuckupness to perfection as I walk my process of self responsibility, in self forgiveness and practical corrective application in self honesty.

 

I commit myself to correct my past sexual relationships within and as myself through a process of self forgiveness in self honesty, to stop the self sabotage/abuse patterns that I've accepted and allowed myself to become through suppressing sexuality and making it more than what it is as a physical communication with myself and my partner.

 

I Commit myself to educate myself with regards of the relationship between the mind and the physical, to be able to understand myself and what I have become and accordingly, stop judging that which I do not understand and rather, change myself according to principles of Oneness and Equality.

 

I commit myself to SHOW that we are busy judging that which we do not understand because we didn't have an example, as effective parents with parenting skills to walk with us as equals and explain to us, from the get go, the relationship between the mind and the physical.

And I commit myself to support those who will walk the development and establishment of parenting skills programs, to bring about, a balance and effective parents who would become the example of the generation to come so that we could once and for all, stop the fuckupness we call earth and humans and create a world of humans beings that walk, move and direct themselves according to that which is best for all. 

Investigating Sexual Expression - Self Forgiveness Part 1 - Day 113

This is a continuation to:

Sexual Expression – Overview  Day 112

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself as a child of this world, to feel and experience shame when and as the words: "Vagina, Penis, fuck, sex" where spoken as an automated reaction within and as myself and within that, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself, from a very young age, to react in shame and un-comfortability, when and as I heard the words: "Vagina, Penis, fuck, sex" because I've attached, defined and connected those words within a negative energetic charge and within it, have attached, defined and connected those words to the emotions of shame and un-comfortability.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to connect, attach and define the words "Vagina, Penis, fuck, sex" with sexual connotation and association as 'wrong' and/or 'bad', as if the words in itself are dirty/impure. Within that, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to investigate my own reactions to specific words and simply accepted the words to exists within and as an energetic charge that I've imprinted from my parents as I saw their reactions towards those words and accordingly, adopted the reactions as my own.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to believe that the 'sexual' organs of the human physical body are not to be touched, not to be discussed, not to be equal and one with. In this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to create the belief that the sexual organs are not to be touched, discussed and stand equal and one with and have thus, accepted and allowed my own separation from and as myself.

 

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to investigate the touch and explore me as my human physical body through the belief that I must not "go there", it is forbidden and wrong and within that acceptance and allowances of the social codes and norms of my environment, I've accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from my human physical body without seeing, realizing and understanding the consequences that I would face in my adult years in relation to Sexuality.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to judge sexuality from a very young age as wrong, forbidden and dirty due to our collective belief and idea that there is a time and place to practice sexuality and before you get to a certain age/place, you may not speak, think, explore sexuality.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to sabotage my early age relationship with a male because according to my belief, I shouldn't have a sexual relationship until I reach a certain age and accordingly, I've decided to suppress my sexuality and didn't allow myself to explore who I am as a sexual human being, with myself or with my partner because I gave all my power away to the voices in my heads/policemen in my head that told me that it's not the time, I'm not allowed to do that, my parents will be disappointed of me and when the policeman in my head was unbearable, I've decided to end the relationship so that I won't be in a tempting position of actually exploring my sexuality.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to NOT see the relationship between my mind and my sexuality wherein I've only defined sexuality through the mind, disregarding the physical aspect of Sexuality.

 

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to explore my sexuality within and as myself because the idea of touching myself came with the experience of shame, dirtiness, filthiness, disgust and immoral and because I haven't understood the Equality and Oneness with and as my human physical body, I've judged myself as all those mind component and accordingly, have decided to suppress the physical reaction that emerged within and as myself because if I allow myself to act on the physical requirement for sex or masturbation, I will be defined as dirty, filthy, disgust and immoral.

Love others, Hate yourself - Day 51

This blog is an outflow of an interview that I've heard today which I strongly recommend you to hear if you haven't already - Reptilians - Why Love is so Addictive - Part 47

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to desire and yarn for a relationship and I haven't realized that the desire is based on Energy that I can cross reference for myself through looking in self honesty at the type of thoughts, back chat and internal conversation within a total obsession and possession in my conscious mind and within that, I forgive myself that I've misinterpreted the energy as desire, love and sex and externalized it in separation of myself within the yarning of being with another being in a relationship/agreement.

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see that I'm barely able to manage myself within the relationship that I have with myself as I'm bouncing from Hereness to absolute mind control in a split of a second which than raise the question - How can I mange a relationship with another if I'm not able to sustain a supportive relationship with myself? I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to give myself up for an energetic experience of LOVE and SEX and I haven't stop for a moment, to establish an effective agreement with myself, to sort myself out and align myself back to myself before I even consider taking the next step of walking an agreement with another human being. I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to yarn for agreement/relationship and sex because it is much more easier to live within energetic experience and focus on anything else but myself and thus, use the relationship/agreement as a mean to avoid myself and remain enslaved and control to consciousness as ENERGY.

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to introspect and investigate why LOVE is so addictive and why we have been spending most of our time in our mind, desiring for LOVE and SEX and within that, have failed to see that it is a deliberate design that we have placed in order to preoccupied ourselves inside our mind, to not have to consider the living expression of the word LOVE that is best for all from the perspective that each and everyone of us will exists in a world where we are taken care of because we are HERE, in this ONE physical reality and there of, having the right for a dignified LIFE.

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see the addictive consequences of the LOVE experience of ENERGY wherein I'm being obsessed within not only during the days but also during the nights while dreaming which reveal and show the control that energy as consciousness have on me and the extent of separation because I've NOT stood up within myself and absolutely became the directive principle during the days as well as nights.

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that the very thoughts, back chat, internal conversation that I have towards others in my world in the nature of spitefulness, jealousy, comparison, competition and judgement are existing in each and every single human being and thus, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to raise the question whether I would like to be with someone who allows backchat, internal conversation without being willing to sort oneself out if I haven't taken the responsibility to do the same. And I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to take into consideration that when I'm engaging an agreement/relationship with a being, this being will have nasty, spiteful, judgemental, evil thoughts about me and other beings in this world which I will miss due to the external presentation that we have all are walking and denying it through the yarning experience of LOVE however, if we would equalize our internal nature of ourselves with the

external presentation of ourselves we will most likely will be defined as crazy - which is exactly what and who we are as long as we accept and allow the evil nature that is within to exists as ourselves. And thus, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that assistance and support within an agreement is to support each other to see that which we have become as the evil nature that we are and transform ourselves within and as the principle of equality and oneness wherein, how relationship currently lived as is within the assistance and support of each other to remain evil as the direct reflection of our thoughts, back chat and internal conversation that we believe to be valid because no one can hear or see it, without no consideration nor awareness of the consequences of such allowance wherein this world, and how it manifested is a direct reflection of the inside or ourselves - evil world that is based on inner desires of self interests where the majority is being disregarded and abuse for the abundance of the few.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to daydream about my prospective partner and the LOVE experience that I will hold and I haven't considered or even imagine the type of thoughts, backchat, internal conversation that my prospective partner is having as the real nature of who one is because if I had to consider that point, I will have to consider my own mess in my mind and thus, would must have taken the responsibility to investigate, introspect and change myself. And I forgive myself that I've not accepted and allowed myself to focus on my own backchat, internal conversation and thoughts to be able to delete the patterns that it reveals and thus, went into the safe place of the LOVE experience as energy, in my mind, disregarding the fact that I won't even want to be with me with all the spiteful, judgemental, nasty thoughts towards another human being in this world and within that, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see how beautifully the design of LOVE was manifested to blind us from what is really going on inside ourselves and in this world so that we will not even SEE that which exists within us, within our partner and within all humans in this world and thus, won't address this problem and come with solution to assist and support ourselves to change our nature according to principle of equality and oneness so that our internal nature and our external presentation will be Equal and One as that which is best for all.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to have refused to see the examples that are playing out in the world of those who are in a relationships that started out with a huge feeling of LOVE and ended of with a huge emotion of HATE and have thus, refused to consider an agreement that is not based on energy of LOVE nor HATE but rather, based on practicality of walking in this ONE life and do what ever it takes to either making sure that the children to come will have a dignified and worthwhile future or either assist and support each other within our breath to breath process of stopping preprogramed patterns and prepare the way before us for an effective upbringing of our children within the starting point of giving them a future that is free from brainwashed of pattern that we've carried from those who have raised us and giving them a proper education that focus on a life skills to be able to become an effective human being in this world, who will continue the way after us, to establish a world that is best for all lives!

I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to see that the example of relationships in the world are an absolute demonstration of the Energy polarity of LOVE and HATE wherein, Love turn into Hate in a split of a second and the Good and Positive LOVE energy turned into a Bad and Negative Hate Energy which than raise the question - Is LOVE real if it doesn't remain for eternity? Is love real if it is not a constant breath by breath application? If love is real when it turns into hate? Is Love real if it's not equally distributed to everyone? Is love real if we abuse ourselves and each other?

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see the relationship between self hate and the desire for relationship wherein, we believe and perceive that we can feel complete and stop the self hate if we find someone who can accept us just the way we are and I have failed to see that in essence the desire for relationship that we seek after is essentially a relationship with ourselves and we have failed to realize that we do not require anyone or anything to feel complete within ourselves; all we have to do is embrace ourselves and be self honest enough to walk through pattern by pattern, and align ourselves back to ourselves within equality and oneness principle and only than, we can have an interdependent agreement with another human being that will stand the test of time.

I commit myself to show and reveal how we have misinterpreted the Energy of Love and Sex and externalized it in separation from ourselves within the desire and yarning for the energetic experience of LOVE within a relationship.

I commit myself to mange myself as the mind into alignment of and as the physical and transform the dependent energy relationship that I've created with the mind to and as an agreement that will pass the test of time as I walk myself out of the mind and into the physical, breath by breath through a process of stopping pattern by pattern

I commit myself to show how LOVE as energetic self egocentric experience is Addictive as equal to and one as Drugs and the similarity between Drug abuse and Love abuse and Why we require developing rehab programs to assist and support humanity with letting go of the energetic experience of LOVE and instead walk the living expression of LOVE within the principle of Love Thy Neighbour as Thy Love Thyself.

I commit myself to stand as the directive principle during the days and nights and to direct myself effectively breath by breath also in my dreams because the dreams are a direct reflection of that which I allow and give permission to in my sub and unconscious mind and thus, I utilize the dream as a gift to see myself where I normally don't.

I commit myself to show and reveal to the world the evil nature that we have become within our mind as the reflection within as the thought, back chat, inner conversation about other people in our mind as well as without as the reflection of the world that we have equally created through our acceptance and allow whether we see it directly or not and I commit myself to present a solution for the mind gossiping pattern through standing as an example within my writing of Self Forgiveness and walking the physical correction.

I commit myself to show how crazy we really are and how it is in fact all in reverse wherein we define those who speak without filtering their thoughts as crazy while all along, the only thing the differ between normal and crazy people is filtering mechanism that 'Normal' people has developed to be accepted in society despite of their mind revealing the evilness that is within as judgement, spiteful, comparison, jealousy and nastiness thoughts towards others.

 

I commit myself to show and explain in detail how self destructive and abusive daydreaming and wishful thinking about the 'one' is, to be able to sustain the experience of LOVE and the consequences thereof.

I commit myself to educate and apply myself to stand as a pillar of supportive education for those who will come after me so that we can end the cycle of robotic zombified beings that exists within and as ONE point of self interest and instead, assist and support the next generation to become effective human beings with a proper LIFE skills so that they can lead the future of tomorrow within the principle of that which is best for all. 

Art by  Malin Olofsson