How to Cope with the Death of a Pet? - Day 248

So.. Babitjie is no longer here in his Physical Form. We found him yesterday, powerless, helplessness and almost lifeless. The vet identified Kidney Failure and after 24 hours of no change, it was decided to put him down.

 

I'm working with the point of Emotional turmoil in relation to this point because I developed a relationship connection with Babitjie specifically during the last year. I learnt a lot about Cats from observing him, playing with him, being with him. Babitjie inhabited my room a while back and was my roommate if you will. His Expression was very specific and I enjoyed him a lot. He did have a down side when his Evil Nature came up from time to time, bullying other cats, he was like a kid, bullying in the outside but inferior from the inside. Lol, when ever there was a lightning storm he would go and be so close to me, like a baby that scared from laud noises. 

 

Anyway, what I'm looking at is the relationship creation and connection that I have formed with Babitjie, not long after I had to give away my dog, Yalda, when I decided to move to the farm. Giving her away was the difficult decision I have ever faced and it took me a while before I was ready to connect again with another animal because the thought of having to leave behind another animal was unbearable.

 

But Babitjie, didn't consider my mind fuck and simply decided for me :-)  Which was also interesting thing back then because I didn't like cats before I encounter Babitjie which through him, I could changed my entire perspective on cats, their expression and thus, experience enjoyable moments with them.

 

What I can already see is lots of self judgement for even allowing myself to cry and be sad for the lose of Babitjie's expression that I will no longer enjoy simply because his expression is unique to him and he is no longer here. but also, the crying is due to a few mind fucks that I can see through walking the SF process that I started walking before he was put down: (Note: when I wrote "no longer part of my direct environment" what I meant is that either the pet is dead or not part of my life any more like for instance with Yalda that is perfectly healthy and taken cared for doesn't live with me anymore)

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to distract myself with Emotional turmoil when and as a Pet that I developed a relationship connection with is no longer part of my direct and immediate environment and thus, accepted and allowed myself to focus on my negative experience instead of investigating the starting point of my relationship with the pet and within that, what is it that I perceive myself as lacking which the pet gave me and now that point of giving is gone.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to judge myself and be hard on myself for crying when finding out about a pet, that I developed a relationship connection with, has to be put down due to a severe health condition and within that, what I have not seen, realized and understood was that suppressing what I'm experiencing is not the solution. Instead, to realize that a pet has a specific and unique expression that will no longer express itself in the form that they were and thus, this expression that was part of my day to day Life is no longer exists and missing this expression without attaching emotional energetic charge to it, is valid. What is not valid is to attach the energetic charge to it as if a part of me is now gone because I'm here, same as yesterday, breathing, healthy, directive. 

 

Changing the form Life takes on does not change Life - Life remains the same. So, whether the Life is a sperm or an egg, or whether it is ‘merged’ or ‘fused’ into a new being – that new being is not a ‘new’ Life Form. It’s just Life in a new form, but it’s the same Life. (Economics Journey To Life - Day 156: Honoring the Right to Life in an Equal Money System)

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to NOT realize that LIFE isn't gone when the pet is gone, but the experience I've created within and as myself in relationship with the pet is no longer exists. Within that, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that when a being dies, it is not life that dies, it is still Life but in a new form.

 

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to investigate the emotions that I experience when a pet that I was connected to is no longer part of my Physical an direct environment and within that, justify to myself that the Experience is Valid because we had a Special relationship connection, we read each other, we were aligned with each other and thus, within that justification, not considering the Common Sense point that - the Relationship is an Experience I've created within and as myself because if that was real, I should have been able to develop the same kind of relationship with any being on earth. This is then thus why, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see in self honesty that the starting point of developing such 'Unique' Relationship with a pet is due to how I am perceiving myself as lacking which is something that the pet can give me. And thus, when the pet is gone, and the condition is now no longer exists wherein, the pet cannot give me what I wanted them to give me, I access Sadness, Fear, and sorrow. In this, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that the Emotions that I feel when a pet is no longer here, are emotions that derive from my self interest starting point of worrying that the Experience I Perceived the Pet to give me, will cease to exists.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the Pet, within my own self interest desire to keep them around, to keep the experience I perceive they give me and thus, do what ever it takes to "save" them however within this, I haven't consider the pet, I haven't communicate with them, asking them for their preference in dying or staying in this physical reality, not seeing the consequential outflows of us insisting to keep them alive, and the life that they would have if we would to succeed keeping them for a little bit longer. What we can see here is that our desire and need to keep a being alive is for and as our own self interest starting point with no real consideration for the pets themselves which then, the question we must ask ourselves - do our pets are our slaves? Beings that we are taking care for so that we can have an experience within our relationship with them? or is it a practical common sense wherein - there is an animal here, the animal require support and I am in a position of giving the animal the support the animal required. Within this, I may enjoy the Animal Expression but it doesn't mean that I need to create an energetic experience towards this expression because, who I am, is  not dependent on other beings expression, who I am is not dependent on the presence of other beings in my world. Sure, it's cool to have beings in my environment but whether they are physically here or not is irrelevant because it is only through the mind wherein what is gone is the relationship that I had created with them, in separation of myself to sustain my experience I perceive myself to have when I'm in their presence.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to raise a pet as a slave for me to have an experience in my relationship with them and within that, taking care of them, so that my Experience slave won't leave me and if they do, I would immediate replace them with another Slave that would give me the same experience, not considering to investigate the nature of the experience, why I require to have this experience from the first place and Can I transform to slave/master relationship to Equal and One relationship, not only with the pets but with all living creatures on earth.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to access past memory experiences with the Pet that is no longer here, to give me a positive experience that would justify the Negative Experience that I accessed to within the belief that the pet is no longer 'Here'. In this, I forgive myself that instead of utilizing the past memory experience as a tool to investigate my own acceptance and allowance, the starting point of getting to know how and why I created an entity as a relationship connection between me and the pet, seeing what is it that I perceived myself as lacking which the pet can give me.

 

I will keep on investigating the relationship between Human beings and the Manifested consequences such as Animals health conditions and show why it is that the death of the animals on earth has to do with Human Intervention.

I will also have a look at what it is that I perceive myself as lacking which I require an animal to provide me with and within that, why have I accepted and allowed myself to enslave animals for my own inner happiness in total separation from myself and the animal. In this, I assist and support myself to develop equal and one relationship with animals instead of Slave/Mastery relationship.

And finally but important nevertheless is how I accepted and allowed myself to create relationship connection with one or two animals and I haven't been able to develop relationships with all beings. In this, why it is that I feel sad and emotionally charged when a pet I had a relationship with dies and yet, not considering or regarding all the animals and humans that dies every single moment.