Multiple Partners? Shame on you - Part 4 - Day 145

This is a continuation to:

Multiple Partners? Shame on you - Part 1 - Day 142

Multiple Partners? Shame on you - Part 2 - Day 143

Multiple Partners? Shame on you - Part 3 - Day 144

 

Yesterday, I was touching briefly about the social influences that I've experienced within and as myself in relation to having multiple partners. Within this blog, I will go into more depth with regards to this point as I see that it had crucial effects on my decision making.

 

I remember at the age of 24, I was working in a fancy restaurant and all my co-workers were young, fine, cool, hot girls. It's like, when coming to the restaurant, you are coming to a fashion show. Literally. Off topic - there was an hair dresser that used to do for us hair style every night before work, our clothes where made by a designer.. Crazy shit man.

 

So anyway, for me it was a new experience; I came from a suburb city, my life were quite boring before I started working there, I didn't go to parties, I didn't care about clothes, I didn't care about being cool because as far as I've seen myself in the suburb, I was cool in my own way. I didn't feel like I'm missing out something because I didn't know what was out there - Parties, Drugs, alcohol, guys.. So for me, it was all new and I didn't know how to swallow everything when I encounter the Big City Life. I wanted everything - I wanted to party, drugs, alcohol, guys.. But inside me, I knew it wasn't me and for me to get those stuff, I must act like one of them, I must make new friends, I must fit it. it is not so easy to fit in when I've valued myself as unworthy, fat, not good enough in comparison to what I've seen in the "big city". (lol, if you'd know where I'm coming from, you'll laugh about what I define as a big city and what I define as a suburb). In the Suburb, you don't have to be all of those things to fit it.. So it was quite a ride by itself.

 

Ok so.. One day, all the girls were talking about sex, how much sex they do, with whom they are doing it, how good it is, how their hair style in their vagina is shaped. And I.. Didn't know what they were talking about, it was a shock to me. One of them told me - "the reason why you are not having sex is because you are not prepared for sex.. You haven't shaped your vagina hair".

 

And so, I became possessed about how I should look like down there, what man likes, what do I need to do to "prepare" myself for sex. Not even a moment, looking at the physical aspect within it all. Not ever considering who, why and what I am as sex. All I cared about was fitting in with my new environment and within it, do what ever it takes to be defined and seen as cool.

 

Within my next blog, I will be continuing with the self forgiveness process with regards to my ranting and raving here and once I'm done covering this point, unless I'd see another dimension with regards to multiple partners, I will start walking the process of change through practical corrective application.

 

Multiple Partners? Shame on you - Part 3 - Day 144

This is a continuation to:

Multiple Partners? Shame on you - Part 1 - Day 142

Multiple Partners? Shame on you - Part 2 - Day 143

 

A few days ago, I was listening to one of Anu's latest interviews: Reptilians - Justifying Control on the Premise of Unity - part 88 where he explained his motivation or trigger point of spiting the elders who he perceived to limit and control him when they didn't see eye to eye the future of existence. What I've realized in that moment is the relationship between parents and children and why is it that children will deliberately try to break their limitations by doing that which will contradict their upbringing and within that, a sense of spite would emerge within and as them.

 

And as I'm walking through the multiple partners in relation to sexual suppression dimension, a memory came up of my mother telling me: "When a girl is sleeping around, she is a slut, when a boy sleep around, he is a stud". In that moment, I made a decision which I wasn't aware yet at that time - I will prove her wrong.

 

I didn't accept the old fashion judgement of men are allowed to have sexual fun while the females are not allowed. It didn't make sense to me because for a men to have multiple partners, he must have a multiple partner lol. And so, it doesn't make sense that all his female's partner are a slut. I saw this statement by my mother to be faulty and old fashion. I saw it as something I shouldn't listen to and that I must have multiple sexual experiences to feel alive.

 

Obviously, I didn't see that my mother wants to protect me; I didn't see the common sense in what she was trying to tell me with regards to having multiple sexual partners vs. having a supportive agreement with One partner.

I guess, if she would have explained to me the time line, the reason, the common sense in having One partner where I can develop myself with, grow and empower myself, I might have listen to her back then as I would have been able seeing common sense for myself. What I did see was my mother's fear of what society would say about me, if I were to be one of those females who would have multiple sexual partners.

 

However, I didn't listen to her, and I developed another entity within our relationship - one entity that my mother would be proud of, as the perfect daughter, and one who is secretly doing what I shouldn't have been doing according to my upbringing.

 

What is clear to me today is that parents have no clue of how to raise their kids in common sense and as they try to control the children and raise them according to the parents' eyes view, they are in essence creating the exact opposite - rebellion kids that would do exactly what the parents don't want them to do. The kids would feel restrain, powerless and limited by their parents and would act it spite, to prove the parents wrong, to break off the limits that one is experiencing.

 

So the questions are - it is really wrong to have multiple partners? Is it because parents fear their neighbours to judge their children? How is it that beings are not educated to have a partner in agreement? Why is the media impulsing and stipulating the youth to have as many sexual experiences as possible? WHY and HOW we have accepted and allowed such secrecy around sex and sexuality and it is not part of the child's education process?

Multiple Partners? Shame on you - Part 2 - Day 143

This is a continuation to:

Multiple Partners? Shame on you - Part 1 - Day 142

 

Some time during my childhood years, I heard someone judging one's parents for being only with each other since they were kids. This being said that he can't imagine having one partner throughout one's life time and said they have no idea what they have missed and whether or not their partner is a good sex partner because they do not have any reference point. Obviously, I was a child and didn't know what this being was saying.. But now, when walking my Journey into discovering my sexual suppressions and sexual patterns, I see, realize and understand that that very statement this being has made, imprinted into my flesh and from that moment onwards I've made the decision that I will never merry with my first sex partner and I will have multiple sexual experiences so that I know what sex is and what specifically a good sex is.

 

It is interesting how we fuck ourselves with making decisions that are based in fear, making decision without even being aware of our decisions being made; interesting the influences we are exposed to without having any tools to filter in common sense where the other beings as potential influences are in their own process.

 

So, I see now another dimension for why I've decided to break up from my first boyfriend before even having sex with him and it was because I knew, he cannot be the ONE. How can he be if I'm going to break up with him anyway because I wouldn't allow myself to be with the first guy I slept with.

 

And so, I've started my sexual journey - making sure my partners won't be the ONEs so that I can have sexual EXPERIENCES lol.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to make the decision to never be and marry the first guy I was having sex with because I believed I would miss out sexual experiences without even being aware of what is it that I'm missing out. Within that, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to FEAR missing out if I marry the first partner I had because I wouldn't have any reference points with regards to sex and thus, I would end up regretting, having boring sex life and be frustrated when I realized I made a mistake that cannot be taken back.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to imprint someone's statements as one's opinions with regards to having one partner of multiple partners and accordingly, making the decision of having multiple partners so that I would make sure that before I settle in, I'll have many sexual experiences and I would be certain that my partner can satisfied me for as long as I live. I see, realize and understand how and why I've made the decision of having multiple sex partner throughout my life and how through one single statement another being has made, I have accepted and allowed myself to based life decisions with regards to sex, sexuality and my choices in partners.

 

In this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to define, connect, associate the idea of having one partner throughout one's life as having a boring, unsatisfied and frustrating relationship and in this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to judge people who had only had one partner in their life as boring which through this, I've made the decision to have as many sexual partner as possible before getting married so that I can be certain that I've experienced enough, I'm a cool person and no one would see me as boring human being.

 

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand how and why I have become my own enemy as I've disrespected myself to the extent of making decisions that do not support me and my human physical body but rather, support an idea that I've heard as a child that would stand within and as my decision that I've made as a child to not marry the first guy I was sleeping with.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself a world where the media stimulate and encourage beings to have multiple sexual experiences with various partners and within that, define those beings as cool while the others are boring and dorks. And in this, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to live in a world where children are being supported in realizing why and how an agreement is the platform to experience and explore oneself as Sex, in self intimacy with oneself and one's partner.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to feel that I must prove myself to my friends and show them how cool I am when sleeping around and having meaningless sex with partner that do not respect me in a direct relationship to how I didn't respect myself and within that, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to need being validated by friends as cool through having sex with cool guys and I haven't realized how and why I've abused and sabotage myself within my own desire of wanting to feel belong.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to assess my relationships through whether or not I had enough sexual experiences instead of assessing my relationships with males according to whether the relationship is supporting us both, in developing intimate and physical communication, exploring physical sexuality and coming together in agreement of individual and mutual assistance and support within our processes.

 

 

 

 

Multiple Partners? Shame on you - Part 1 - Day 142

Continuing to explore, investigate and see who, why and what I am as sex. For quite some time, I've been resisting walking my Agreement course due to "knowing" I would have to forgive myself for that which I've accepted and allowed myself to feel ashamed on my past choices and partners. BUT - as I was walking my last few blogs, I've realized that the only one who judge me is myself because I haven't unconditionally forgiven myself. I used to take my past personally and feel regret and shame for the choices I've made. Now, I realize that what ever I've decide previously was only came from the patterns/characters/personalities that I've created throughout my life, in separation and deliberately blindness. So, why should I judge something I can change? I should I judge something I wasn't even aware I was responsible for? Why should I judge my own creation if I can recreate it? and so.. This topic had come - "Multiple Partners - Shame on you".

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for what I've chosen in my past and in that, perpetuating how powerless I am in standing and taking responsibility to stop recreating myself as an automated organic robot.

 

I now see, realize and understand that judging myself for the choices I've made is pointless and useless and I rather apply myself within the principle of what is best for all within the starting point of making the choices that would result with the best and utmost outcome for all.

 

I commit myself to when and as I see myself judging myself for the choices I've made in my past with regards to my partners, I stop, I breathe and I align myself to myself as my physical human body. I realize that continuing judging myself wouldn't change the fact that it was always me who made the decisions and it would always be me who makes decision in every moment of every breath and thus, I assist and support myself with aligning myself to what I've accepted and allowed within and as myself and accordingly, stand as the directive principle and change myself breath by breath, step by step, within and as that which is best for all.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to react to my past as the choices I've made with regards to sex, sexuality and partners when and as I investigate the patterns/characters that I've accepted and allowed within and as myself. In this, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to embrace myself for taking the responsibility in assisting and supporting myself to change and in this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to take that which I've become personally instead of realizing that I've created myself as a victim to my own programming but in every moment, there is a window of opportunity as breath, to stand up, change and stop recreating the consequences that I've continuously created throughout my life and in this, I am the one who decide.

 

I see, realize and understand that reacting to who I was in my past is pointless and useless because my past doesn't define me but Who I am within the decisions that I make breath by breath are the ones I would utilize to measure my self honesty in terms of my change and accordingly, in self honesty assess what points I require to go deeper when and as I see a thought/reaction that comes up in relation to my past within my relationship to sex, sexuality and my ex partners.

 

I commit myself to STOP reacting and taking myself personally as I see, realize and understand the programming that was involved and how I'm directly responsible for everything I've chosen throughout my life and thus, I commit myself to transform my reactions towards my past to moments of opportunities where I'm able to assist and support myself in seeing the pattern that played out, my responsibility within it and through a process of physical self forgiveness application, I assist and support myself in self honesty to release the energetic expression that I've become and stand as a physical expression as who I am in every moment of breath.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to define myself as dirty for the choices I've made in my past with regards to sex, sexuality and partners and instead of realizing what led me to the choices I've made through walking the time line from the trigger point to the activation point through the end line and see the pattern that played out, I've disrespected myself by judging myself, believing that I'll become clean if I suppress my past and won't have sex for a while.

 

I see, realize and understand now that avoiding myself through suppression and denying myself physical sex is not a solution and as long as I won't sort myself out through a process of forgiveness in self honesty, I would always judge myself even if it's burry deep inside myself.

 

I commit myself to dig myself back to earth, to the physical reality, to myself, as I've accepted and allowed myself to suppress that which I've become through believing that if I won't think about it, I'll be ok. I now see, realize and understand that as long as I would accept and allow the past old programs that I've created and installed within and as my flesh to run in the back ground of my automated organic robotic life, I would repeat the same patterns again and again and again and thus, I commit myself to stop, take responsibility, apply myself, change myself and LIVE!

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to look back at my life in shame for the choices I've made in relation to sex, sexuality and partners and I haven't realized that I can utilize the shame to support myself instead of diminishing myself through going back in time within writing the time lines and correct that which I see to be required for correction so that I could re-create myself as a physical living human being that walk in every moment of breath as that which is best for all if I allow myself to forgive myself and transform myself from energy vampire to physical best for all living application, breath by breath.

 

I see, realize and understand how and why I've used Shame to destroy myself, to diminish and disrespect myself and within that, haven't given myself a chance to correct Who I am within the choices I've made and thus, I see, realize and understand that I've abused and sabotaged myself through the experience of shame because I've not transform the shame into gift of self introspection from the starting point of assisting and supporting myself to change who and what I've become but rather used the experience of shame to enslave myself into self unworthiness that led to years of not being able to sustain a relationship because I haven't respected and trusted myself enough to be of worth to anything or anyone.

 

I commit myself to unconditionally forgive myself for my past actions, behaviour, patterns and to STOP the cycle of abuse and sabotage within and as myself by giving value to my past as that which defines me.

I realise that I've not defined by my past unless I decides to because I'm only the one who decide.

I realize that I've a window of opportunity to assist and support myself with stopping the cycle of self abuse and transform into and as a physical living human being that walk in every breath according to that which is best for all.

 

 

Sex Education - Part 2 - Day 128

 

This is a continuation to:

Sexual Inadequacy - Overview - Day 124

Sex in the Dark – Sexual Inadequacy–Part 1 - Day 125

Sex in the Dark – Sexual Inadequacy – Part 2 - Day 126

Sex Education - Part 1 - Day 127

 

 

Also, I suggest listening to:

What is Sex - Who am I as Sex - Part 30

What is Sex - Why am I as Sex - Part 31

 

 

I commit myself to investigate in writing, Who I am as Sex, Why I am as Sex and What is Sex to me to assist and support me with allocating my starting point of having sex and in that, to assist and support myself to transform my Mind Sex participation into and as a physical expression of and as myself, as my human physical body, in equality and Oneness.

 

I commit myself to assist and support myself to STOP my participation in my mind while having sex, through a process of writing each and every thought and back chat that I've accepted and allowed during sex so that I could physically be here, as touch, as sex, as a physical expression when having sex, to for the first time, explore and investigate WHO I Am as a physical sex expression.

 

I commit myself to MOVE myself as breath, when and as I'm having sex, without the mind dictating me what to think, how to act, how to preform, what to say, how to move, what to do; I see, realize and understand now how I've deliberately sabotage and in that, abuse myself when having sex as I've done so through the mind, in self interest desire for an experience that I've heard/seen by others and accordingly, have attempted to live their experience instead of Exploring/investigate myself as Sex, as physical expression in equality and oneness as myself human physical body.

 

I commit myself to SHOW the relationship between sexual suppression within and as human being and the lack of supportive and tangible sexual education in this world.

 

I commit myself to support children in developing effective sex education so that they won't have to be left alone to discover themselves while the chances of them abusing themselves and their partner are high as they would try to live their illusions/fantasy in their mind that was and is impulse, imprinted, infused in their mind by the current media and advertisement without having any guideness and support by those who supposed to be their example, their educator, their support structure.

 

For more context, please read -

Sexual Expression – Overview  Day 112

Investigating Sexual Expression - Self Forgiveness Part 1 - Day 113

Investigating Sexual Expression - Self Commitments - Part 1 - Day 114

 

Investigating Sexual Expression - Part 2 - Day 121

Investigating Sexual Expression - Self Forgiveness - Part 2 - Day 122

Investigating Sexual Expression - Self Commitments - Part 2 - Day 123

 

Spilling semen in vain - Day 115

Spilling semen in vain - Self Forgiveness -  Day 116

Spilling semen in vain - Self Commitments -  Day 117

 

Be Fruitful and Multiply - Day 118

Be Fruitful and Multiply - Self Forgiveness - Day 119

Be Fruitful and Multiply - Self Commitments - Day 120

 

 

Investigating Sexual Expression - Self Commitments - Part 2 - Day 123

This is a continuation to:

Sexual Expression – Overview  Day 112

Investigating Sexual Expression - Self Forgiveness Part 1 - Day 113

Investigating Sexual Expression - Self Commitments - Part 1 - Day 114

 

Investigating Sexual Expression - Part 2 - Day 121

Investigating Sexual Expression - Self Forgiveness - Part 2 - Day 122

 

 

I commit myself to SHOW that the definitions/connotations/associations that we have attached to words are the exact definitions/connotations/associations that our parents had attached and accordingly, we are passing, generation after generation a language that is based on absolute separation and in this, make sure that no one in fact stand as equal and one as the Living Words as that which is best for all.

 

I commit myself to show that the language that we have taught to speak is taint with Definitions as FEARS and through this, we create our FEARful reality because we haven't realize that we are in fact the Living Words and accordingly, when the words are separated from who we are and are based on fear, our creation as this world would be equal to the one as the living words and to change this world, we must change ourselves as the living words and in this, to redefine, explore, investigate each and every word and transform the word to that which is best for all so that we can create a world that is best for all and to ensure our best for all creation, we will pass on to our children the language that is based on Principle of Oneness and Equality as the living words, as ourselves.

 

I commit myself to take part of the establishment and development of Designing Mathematical Bio-grammatical Structures to Assist in the Re-definition of Words in Specific Detail to Always Result in Outcomes that are Best for All Life.

http://creationsjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/08/day-116-re-defining-words-to-living.html

 

I commit myself to be attentive and aware to any physical changes/movements within and as my human physical body because I now see, realize and understand that those changes/movements are automated and activated through the words that I speak/hear and in that, I realized that when and as I'm reacting mentally and physically to words, I'm in that moment had abdicated my directive principle within and as the breath because I've not moved/changed/react as a self movement awareness, here, but rather automated my movement in separation of me and allowed the mind to take over and dictate me how to feel/react/move.

 

I commit myself to SHOW and Explain in details, as many times as necessary Why and How the words that we are living are polarized within and as Negative or Positive Charge and in this, Why it is so important that we would walk the redefining process of each and every Word we speak, Positive as well as Negative, to make sure we are no longer dictated by the experience of a words but rather a human living physical human being that are equal to and one as the living Words.

 

I commit myself to SHOW how and why we have been programmed and brainwashed by the Media to live a Life of self interest, where we seek for an experience in separation of ourselves and our world and have not realized, seen or understood that in essence, our self interest desire for an experience is to hide/cover/ignore our FEARS that we have deliberately created ourselves, to remain slaves to our own minds and accordingly, we have created the Media to support with our enslavement processes and to never in fact create a world/Life that is best for all.

 

I commit myself to SHOW in writings and vlogging How and Why FEAR and LOVE are the opposite Polarity of each other, Why and how we have created Love to Hide/Ignore/Cover our FEARS, Why and how we have created ourselves in FEAR; and Why and How, every decision we make and have made was ALWAYS based on Fears.

Investigating Sexual Expression - Part 2 - Day 121

This is a continuation to:

Sexual Expression – Overview  Day 112

Investigating Sexual Expression - Self Forgiveness Part 1 - Day 113

Investigating Sexual Expression - Self Commitments - Part 1 - Day 114

 

A few days ago, I was writing about the Negative Charge within the words Sex, Fuck and so forth and today, I will continue with looking and investigating the Positive Charge that we have attached for example, to the words: Romance, Making Love, Love etc.

 

It is interesting to see, how we are only working/writing/dealing with that which makes us feel uncomfortable and we disregards that which makes us feel good, better, superior. Meaning, why should I investigate that which makes me feel good? Why can't I only get rid of the negative feeling within and as myself? Why do I need to stop the positive energy within and as myself? I don't want to.. Lol. That is a common statement that I hear from many beings - "you are so negative! You have to fight the human nature with positivity! All you need is Love". Is it? If that is so, why we have defined sex and making Love with a polarity charge despite of the fact that it describe the same thing? And obviously, if Love is all we need, how come there is so much abuse in this world. (for context watch my vlog 2012 - LOVE Month - Is Love and Light the Solution?

The Polarity design of energy was explained in details in Earth's Journey to Life - Day 5: Redefining Words (Part 2) - Playing polarity games

 

Why is it that making LOVE is accepted and Sex/fuck isn't? I mean, seriously, that is the exact same thing. why are we reactive in a positive way to the words 'Making Love' and reacting in a negative way to the words sex/fuck?

 

So, why is it that Making Love and Romance is Ok? Is Positive? Is allowed? While the fact of the matter is that the physical act remain the same - 2 human beings fucking each other.. Lol

Why is it wrong to Make Love with ourselves? Why is it shameful to create an environment for ourselves, alone, candles in one's room, clean sheets, quite music, maybe some essential oil burners and simply touch ourselves, becoming intimate with our physical body? Why is it that when touching oneself in a warm, candle light, music environment is suddenly sound bad/wrong when we called the physical touch - Masturbation. Oh no, god forbid saying this word. 

 

In self honesty, one can look within oneself at the physical body changes when hearing the words Fuck vs. hearing the words Making love. The word Fuck comes with disgusted, constriction in the belly area, the face constricting as well and specifically in the mouth reign and our entire human physical body yells: "NO, it's awful, don't say that". However, when hearing the word 'Making Love' the body expand, like breathing from the inside, smile suddenly automatically emerge and warm and positive energy moves within and as us from the belly area towards the heart.  Fascinating isn't it?

 

This shows the extent of separation that we've allowed within and as ourselves in relation to how we LIVE the WORDS we speak and hear. How for each and every word we assigned/associated/connected/defined with either positive or negative charge. For more information with regards to the Living words and redefining of words, I suggest reading Earth's Journey to Life - Day 4: Redefining words - Part 1.

 

Within my following blogs, I will walk the positive energy charge that is associated to the word Love in relation to sex and masturbation through a process of self forgiveness and self corrective/commitments statements. 

Investigating Sexual Expression - Self Commitments - Part 1 - Day 114

This is a continuation to:

Sexual Expression – Overview  Day 112

Investigating Sexual Expression - Self Forgiveness Part 1 - Day 113

 

 

I commit myself to - when and as I hear words that activated a reaction as energy movement within and as myself, to investigate the word, to redefine the word and purify myself as the living word wherein, when hearing a word, I  won't activate memories, associations, definitions, beliefs within and as myself which I will automatically give attention to and accordingly, give myself up, become non existent as I gave permission to my mind to be the directive principle instead of me, purifying myself to accordingly direct myself in every given moment, breath by breath.

 

I commit myself to SHOW how through the reactions of our parents to specific words, we decide who we are as we've copied and duplicated our parents reactions, because apparently, they know it all, they know what is best for us, despite of the fact that has been proven in many psychology studied that parents has no clue about the influence and consequences they cause to their children.

 

I Commit myself to become intimate with myself as my human physical body in a journey of exploring myself and the investigation of the definition that I've gave to specific organs of my human physical body to assist and support myself with being comfortable with myself. I see now, that I'm lucky to have a human physical body to cross reference my application and it is my responsibility as such, to stand equal and one as my human physical body as the entirety of the body, all the organs, cells, veins etc. and accordingly, to utilise my body as a support of my process of stepping out of my mind instead of continue abusing my body through my acceptance and allowances of participation in my mind.

 

I Commit myself to assist and support Parents in qualifying them with supportive and effective parenting skills, as I walk my own process from the moment of emerging to this earth, in a time line till now, through my process of sharing my self-investigation process of who I am, through sharing my process of how I practically assisting and supporting myself to unchain myself from my social beliefs and norms that I've integrated into myself as my mind and accordingly, reprogram myself from fuckupness to perfection as I walk my process of self responsibility, in self forgiveness and practical corrective application in self honesty.

 

I commit myself to correct my past sexual relationships within and as myself through a process of self forgiveness in self honesty, to stop the self sabotage/abuse patterns that I've accepted and allowed myself to become through suppressing sexuality and making it more than what it is as a physical communication with myself and my partner.

 

I Commit myself to educate myself with regards of the relationship between the mind and the physical, to be able to understand myself and what I have become and accordingly, stop judging that which I do not understand and rather, change myself according to principles of Oneness and Equality.

 

I commit myself to SHOW that we are busy judging that which we do not understand because we didn't have an example, as effective parents with parenting skills to walk with us as equals and explain to us, from the get go, the relationship between the mind and the physical.

And I commit myself to support those who will walk the development and establishment of parenting skills programs, to bring about, a balance and effective parents who would become the example of the generation to come so that we could once and for all, stop the fuckupness we call earth and humans and create a world of humans beings that walk, move and direct themselves according to that which is best for all. 

Investigating Sexual Expression - Self Forgiveness Part 1 - Day 113

This is a continuation to:

Sexual Expression – Overview  Day 112

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself as a child of this world, to feel and experience shame when and as the words: "Vagina, Penis, fuck, sex" where spoken as an automated reaction within and as myself and within that, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself, from a very young age, to react in shame and un-comfortability, when and as I heard the words: "Vagina, Penis, fuck, sex" because I've attached, defined and connected those words within a negative energetic charge and within it, have attached, defined and connected those words to the emotions of shame and un-comfortability.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to connect, attach and define the words "Vagina, Penis, fuck, sex" with sexual connotation and association as 'wrong' and/or 'bad', as if the words in itself are dirty/impure. Within that, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to investigate my own reactions to specific words and simply accepted the words to exists within and as an energetic charge that I've imprinted from my parents as I saw their reactions towards those words and accordingly, adopted the reactions as my own.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to believe that the 'sexual' organs of the human physical body are not to be touched, not to be discussed, not to be equal and one with. In this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to create the belief that the sexual organs are not to be touched, discussed and stand equal and one with and have thus, accepted and allowed my own separation from and as myself.

 

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to investigate the touch and explore me as my human physical body through the belief that I must not "go there", it is forbidden and wrong and within that acceptance and allowances of the social codes and norms of my environment, I've accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from my human physical body without seeing, realizing and understanding the consequences that I would face in my adult years in relation to Sexuality.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to judge sexuality from a very young age as wrong, forbidden and dirty due to our collective belief and idea that there is a time and place to practice sexuality and before you get to a certain age/place, you may not speak, think, explore sexuality.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to sabotage my early age relationship with a male because according to my belief, I shouldn't have a sexual relationship until I reach a certain age and accordingly, I've decided to suppress my sexuality and didn't allow myself to explore who I am as a sexual human being, with myself or with my partner because I gave all my power away to the voices in my heads/policemen in my head that told me that it's not the time, I'm not allowed to do that, my parents will be disappointed of me and when the policeman in my head was unbearable, I've decided to end the relationship so that I won't be in a tempting position of actually exploring my sexuality.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to NOT see the relationship between my mind and my sexuality wherein I've only defined sexuality through the mind, disregarding the physical aspect of Sexuality.

 

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to explore my sexuality within and as myself because the idea of touching myself came with the experience of shame, dirtiness, filthiness, disgust and immoral and because I haven't understood the Equality and Oneness with and as my human physical body, I've judged myself as all those mind component and accordingly, have decided to suppress the physical reaction that emerged within and as myself because if I allow myself to act on the physical requirement for sex or masturbation, I will be defined as dirty, filthy, disgust and immoral.

Sexual Expression – Overview Day 112

This is a continuation to:

 

Suppressed Expression Character - Day 101

Suppressed Self Expression - The beginning of the End - Day 102

Singing Expression Character - Day 103

The Shyness Character - Day 104

The Shyness Character - Self Forgiveness as the parent - Day 105

The Shyness Character - Self Commitments Statements - Day 106

Singing Expression - Self Forgiveness - Day 107

Singing Expression - Self Commitments - Day 108

 

 

Within this blog, I will be looking at the relationship between children and parents and how one evolved one's sexual expression from early childhood years into adulthood.

 

As a child, one do not attach, define or associate one's sexual organs with sexuality. When one touch oneself, as a child, one does it for only ONE reason - it is enjoyable, exactly like adults enjoy the touch of one's sexual organs. Only later on, Morality kicks in and the parents forbid the child from touching oneself from various types and forms of opinions, beliefs and ideas. In Essence, the Parent reacts to the Child's expression and with having no effective parenting skills education in this world, the parent isn't aware of the consequences that emerged from the first moment of reaction.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that Parents are not Instructed how to Instruct Children and are thus Not Qualified to be Instructors and are thus Destructors that will even Defend their Right to Destroy their Children in spite of the Fact that if one’s not Trained in Effective Direct Instruction, one is in fact Not Qualified to have Children under one's Supervision and would Never Employ someone Unqualified to do a Job - yet the most Important Job on Earth, which is to Instruct Newborn Children, is allowed to be Instructed by Unqualified, Inadequate Trainers - resulting in a World where No One is in fact Ever Qualified or Instructed to be part of a Society that is Best for All Present on Earth; and Although lip service is paid to Ideals like ‘Love thy Neighbor as Thyself’ it is Never Actualized as the Parent as New Life Unqualified Instruction Never Learned the Practical Implication where ‘Love Thy Neighbor as Thyself’ actually Exists. Bernard Poolman - http://creationsjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/08/day-110-children-are-not-born-with.html

 

I have no idea whether or not I have been touching myself as I was a young kid, I can only remember the time I became aware of what I was doing and with that, came guilt, embarrassment and shame; and so, I stopped. Obviously, no one explained to me what I'm experiencing, no one walked me through the understanding of Who I am as my physical body and so, only occasionally, I would touch, just to see how does it feels because it is enjoyable, you cannot ignore something like that; I couldn't also ignore the feeling that I'm doing something wrong, so I did it secretly, while I was in the toilet room when no one was around to question why it takes me so long to get out of the toilet room. In my eye's view - I was doing something I shouldn't speak about, shouldn't be doing and I might as well keep it to myself because after all, it is my PRIVATE organs. Lol.

 

So, why is it that it is wrong? What is the difference between touching one's hands and touching one's 'sexual' organs? Why is it that we have accepted and allowed the touch of our nose/face/hands as normal and validated and the touch of our sexual organs as wrong, immoral, forbidden?

 

Where did we learn it from? Who expose us to this moral polarity? Why is it that we have accepted and allowed ourselves to separate ourselves from our human physical body organs through giving a different values to specific organs? Why is it that we have lived inside our mind, having ideas/opinions/beliefs about our bodies and haven't stood in equality and oneness with our human physical body? Have we born separate from our human physical body or is it programs that we have installed within and as ourselves according to our environment?

 

It is no secret that our parents teach us every thing that we are and are basically, shaping and moulding our characters to be aligned with theirs however, it was us who accepted and allowed all of those characters as who we are and in that, made the decision to separate ourselves from ourselves and become an automated memory based machines. It will then, be us, who must re-birth ourselves through daring looking inside ourselves, through all the things we have been taught to suppress; it will be US that will take the responsibility to disengage from who we have become, to be able to see who we really are. There is no point in blaming others for our faulty creations of ourselves because doing so, it is do abdicate our responsibility. Blaming is done when one isn't willing to change oneself in fact; What was done is done. Our Future though - is ours to write, as it will be measured according to what we will accept and allow, and what we won't.

 

Will Continue investigating this point and assist and support myself, as well as others to uncover the suppressed Sexuality that we have defined as wrong.

For further perspective and understanding what is Sex and Masturbation, I suggest listening to the EQAFE interview series:

What is Sex and the Shocking Secret of Masturbation.