But, what if there is someone better for me out there? - Day 268

There are beings that find themselves without a partner; this has to do with many variables but there is one dimension I would like to bring up within this blog today wherein, one accept and allow the following thoughts pattern to exists within and as oneself:

 

 "But what if there is someone better for me out there? If I commit to a partner but then I'll find another being that is better for me,, what will I do then? And besides, how can I know for sure that this partner is the best one for me? Should I take the risk? Am I compromising here? I better not get into this relationship just in case another beings comes, I will leave the door open for just in case something MORE, Greater may come."

 

Behind the Thoughts Pattern -

 

1. The Desire for Perfect Relationship - the Desire to have a relationship as perfect as it is presented on the Media for instance and the inherited design of the Desire for More is a huge factor in one's decision making regarding one's partner. In this, nothing can satisfied self because the Desire for More and the value that one had attached to 'Perfect relationships' will always stipulate and activate this thoughts pattern that would influence one's decisions and Choices regarding partners and relationships.

Perfect relationship as the value one had assign to the ideal perfect relationship is how one had taught and program oneself throughout one's life with the influence of one's environment and most importantly, the Media. Meaning, throughout time, one would create a belief system around the ideal perfect relationships as an idea that one had associated with a Positive Energetic Charge and thus, as long as one won't 'Feel' that which self had planned to 'Feel' when encountering the 'Perfect Partner' for a 'Perfect Relationship' one would not commit to one partner and would always be on the journey that may lead to the 'Feeling' one believe one should Experience when all the Characteristics and Values one had defined 'perfect relationship' would met.

Here also is where Porn comes in meaning - one create an idea of 'Perfect Sex Partner' according to what one sees on Porn and within that, one knows, in self honesty, that what one sees on Porn is far fetch from Reality and therefor, one wouldn't be able to have that 'Perfect Sex Partner' as how one would like having. Thus, the Hope that maybe, somehow, one could find the perfect sex partner would also be the reason for why one wouldn’t commit to a relationship that may lead to unfulfilled sex Life according to one's perceptions, ideas and beliefs.

 

2. Fear of Making a mistake - Here, one isn't necessarily working with the decision of going into a relationship with a specific partner per say from the perspective that the Fear of making a mistakes would probably manifest in many other aspects of one's life where one would live a life of indecisiveness and would only come to a decision once one is 100% sure that this is the way to go. Whether one is indecisive in nature or not, one must realize that what ever decision we currently making, our decisions are limited to what we perceive possible through and as our minds:

 

“And Many will first make the Mistake of Believing that they’re capable of Assessing Information with their Preprogrammed Knowledge and will Refuse to go through the Obvious Commonsense necessity of First Purifying EVERYTHING they consist of – Every Word, Every Part, Every Memory so that it can be Aligned to What is Best for All Life.” Bernard Poolman

 

From the Fear of making mistakes with regards to choosing the partner and later finding out that there might be someone better for self, one would then try and justify the fear through consciously creating other fears such as for instance, 'Fear of Commitment' and 'Fear of Living a life of Regret'. These fears are actually a reaction to one's fear of making a mistakes and instead of going into the deep, core, source and origin of this Fear and sort self out, one would create justifications and excuses as a Reaction instead of walking the Correction Process and moving to Prevention as a Principle one lives by.

 

What is interesting in this Thoughts pattern is that it form part of the Chameleon character (Which I suggest clicking the hyperlink to read Earth's Journey to Life Blog). Here, the Chameleon would change one's preference according to how the world view a perfect relationship as. For instance, decays ago, you wouldn't normally see a tall woman with a short man however a new trend started when Nicole Kidman and Tom Cruise where together. Another example would be skin colours - decays ago, White was Superior to Brown and having coloured partners where something everyone would gossip about. Nowadays when Brown is Equal to White or even in some countries Superior to White, coloured partners is quite Normal.

Another example could be when one partner is a successful business man/woman that is being invited to Elitist Social Gathering. For such occasions, if the partner would not have a partner that is normally accepted in such events (best outfit, hair style, mannerism, social behaviour skills, etc.), one would be a gossiping target and due to the 'shame' that involved, one would make the Decision regarding a partner beforehand.

Thus, the Chameleon Character within the above thoughts pattern would always want to adapt oneself to the current trend and to not be "stuck" with a partner that do not stand in alignment to the current world trend within the context of the perfect partner. And since the trends are changes from time to time, one would prefer leaving a door open to align oneself to how the world would see oneself in relationship to one's prospect partner.

 

For myself, I remember at age 16, having this thoughts pattern coming up after a few months of extensive relationship with a partner. I looked at my future and I was sure that there must be something more, that there must be a better partner and the moment these thoughts slowly but surely accumulated into a point of no return, I ended the relationship and started the journey of seeking for more, seeking for the better man while all along, it seems now that with all the relationships that I had, the first guy, my first boyfriend was far more than any other guy I was with. But you can read all about it on my previous blogs. (use the search button). What I'm seeing now was how through the desire for more, I sabotaged and compromised a partnership that could have developed to a supportive and effective agreement though, it is unlikely that I would have find Desteni if I would to remain in the partnership from age 16 lol. The point is - one cannot trust oneself and one's decision once this thoughts pattern comes up in one's mind. what one can trust is that one is deceiving oneself to not face the actuality of one's fear of making a mistake and within that to support and assist oneself to assess the potential of walking with another within the principle of that which is best for all which means that within a partnership, both stand as a pillar of support for themselves and each other to expand, grow, develop and empower themselves to be and become and obviously stand as an effective human beings in this world.

 

The Corrective application within the context of such thoughts pattern is to have a look at one's decisions and choices and to learn how to assess the potential that would result with an outcome that is best for all. Here, I also suggest reading through the Blog Series: Birthing ourselves as life, as a partnership (Day 143 onwards).

The practical correction would be:

go through the Obvious Commonsense necessity of First Purifying EVERYTHING they consist of – Every Word, Every Part, Every Memory so that it can be Aligned to What is Best for All Life.” Bernard Poolman

Pornography Messed up my Sex Life - Life Review - Day 238

 

A few days ago, I listened to the Interview - Pornography Messed up my Sex Life - Live Review and I found it fascinating in understanding the Minds of those who are addicted to Porn - the ins and out of the Design of the Addiction to Porn and what is it that these people are actually facing within and as themselves.

 

While walking my Process of writing and taking on the Point of Relationships and Sex, I've seen how with some of the partners that I've been with, which were addicted to Porn, the Relationship couldn't stand because I took it Personally and was sure that the reason why the relationship didn't stand was because of my performance in bed. And holly fuck, it is so absurd that we've turn Sex to Performance and within that, limited Sex to such an extant that it is in no way an expression of 2 people coming together to explore, assist and support themselves and their physical.  

If only I had the tools that I have now to assist and support myself and my partner, much of the experiences that I faced within my relationships with men, could be prevented and corrected as I now see, realize and understand why and how beings finds themselves addicted to Porn and what it is within them that they either Fear or perceive themselves to be lacking off which then, they would go into Porn.

 

Understand - we have the tendency to Judge that which we don't understand; to Judge people that are walking a different life path than how we think and perceive life should be lived; we judge the consequences of Porn for instance within our society; What we have missed and didn't realize is that Judgement is a reaction to a well known Problem but instead of getting to the root/source/core/origin of the problem, we would either ignore, suppress, hide and/or Deny; or we would focus all our attention to our reaction, not realizing that the reaction is nothing but a distraction to actually face the point we faced within and as ourselves. But there is another way - we could stand up and find Solutions to Prevent the Problem from re-emerge and/or Re-occur. This is what Desteni is all about - Prevention as the Ultimate Cure.

 

Thus, instead of Judging or Blame, Let's educate ourselves to Understand the Mind and what we have become as the Mind; let's Expand ourselves in getting to know how our mind works and functions to the nitty gritty details because once we'll know ourselves as the totality of our minds, we would understand and see directly the totality of the universal mind and would be able to Prevent Consequences instead of Judging them; we would be able to take responsibility instead of shifting responsibility. We would be able to assist and support others in showing them, what we have seen for ourselves. Our Process is of Prevention, and Porn for that matter - it is not about closing down the Porn industry, that will only cause more friction and conflict in people's mind as this is not a real and substantial solution but a cover up for the real/source/origin/core of the Problem. the Prevention for that matter would be Education, the Studies of the Mind within all the Layers of the mind so that one could see for oneself how and why one had developed and established a relationship to and towards Porn and accordingly, one would find it much more easy to realize oneself once one would understand the design that one had accepted and allowed oneself to exists within and as.

 

So, If you find yourself addicted to Porn, or if you are in a relationship where your partner is addicted to Porn, I suggest listening to this interview to assist and support you in getting to know yourself and/or your Partner as what drives one into developing and establishing a close relationship with Porn.