But, what if there is someone better for me out there? - Day 268

There are beings that find themselves without a partner; this has to do with many variables but there is one dimension I would like to bring up within this blog today wherein, one accept and allow the following thoughts pattern to exists within and as oneself:

 

 "But what if there is someone better for me out there? If I commit to a partner but then I'll find another being that is better for me,, what will I do then? And besides, how can I know for sure that this partner is the best one for me? Should I take the risk? Am I compromising here? I better not get into this relationship just in case another beings comes, I will leave the door open for just in case something MORE, Greater may come."

 

Behind the Thoughts Pattern -

 

1. The Desire for Perfect Relationship - the Desire to have a relationship as perfect as it is presented on the Media for instance and the inherited design of the Desire for More is a huge factor in one's decision making regarding one's partner. In this, nothing can satisfied self because the Desire for More and the value that one had attached to 'Perfect relationships' will always stipulate and activate this thoughts pattern that would influence one's decisions and Choices regarding partners and relationships.

Perfect relationship as the value one had assign to the ideal perfect relationship is how one had taught and program oneself throughout one's life with the influence of one's environment and most importantly, the Media. Meaning, throughout time, one would create a belief system around the ideal perfect relationships as an idea that one had associated with a Positive Energetic Charge and thus, as long as one won't 'Feel' that which self had planned to 'Feel' when encountering the 'Perfect Partner' for a 'Perfect Relationship' one would not commit to one partner and would always be on the journey that may lead to the 'Feeling' one believe one should Experience when all the Characteristics and Values one had defined 'perfect relationship' would met.

Here also is where Porn comes in meaning - one create an idea of 'Perfect Sex Partner' according to what one sees on Porn and within that, one knows, in self honesty, that what one sees on Porn is far fetch from Reality and therefor, one wouldn't be able to have that 'Perfect Sex Partner' as how one would like having. Thus, the Hope that maybe, somehow, one could find the perfect sex partner would also be the reason for why one wouldn’t commit to a relationship that may lead to unfulfilled sex Life according to one's perceptions, ideas and beliefs.

 

2. Fear of Making a mistake - Here, one isn't necessarily working with the decision of going into a relationship with a specific partner per say from the perspective that the Fear of making a mistakes would probably manifest in many other aspects of one's life where one would live a life of indecisiveness and would only come to a decision once one is 100% sure that this is the way to go. Whether one is indecisive in nature or not, one must realize that what ever decision we currently making, our decisions are limited to what we perceive possible through and as our minds:

 

“And Many will first make the Mistake of Believing that they’re capable of Assessing Information with their Preprogrammed Knowledge and will Refuse to go through the Obvious Commonsense necessity of First Purifying EVERYTHING they consist of – Every Word, Every Part, Every Memory so that it can be Aligned to What is Best for All Life.” Bernard Poolman

 

From the Fear of making mistakes with regards to choosing the partner and later finding out that there might be someone better for self, one would then try and justify the fear through consciously creating other fears such as for instance, 'Fear of Commitment' and 'Fear of Living a life of Regret'. These fears are actually a reaction to one's fear of making a mistakes and instead of going into the deep, core, source and origin of this Fear and sort self out, one would create justifications and excuses as a Reaction instead of walking the Correction Process and moving to Prevention as a Principle one lives by.

 

What is interesting in this Thoughts pattern is that it form part of the Chameleon character (Which I suggest clicking the hyperlink to read Earth's Journey to Life Blog). Here, the Chameleon would change one's preference according to how the world view a perfect relationship as. For instance, decays ago, you wouldn't normally see a tall woman with a short man however a new trend started when Nicole Kidman and Tom Cruise where together. Another example would be skin colours - decays ago, White was Superior to Brown and having coloured partners where something everyone would gossip about. Nowadays when Brown is Equal to White or even in some countries Superior to White, coloured partners is quite Normal.

Another example could be when one partner is a successful business man/woman that is being invited to Elitist Social Gathering. For such occasions, if the partner would not have a partner that is normally accepted in such events (best outfit, hair style, mannerism, social behaviour skills, etc.), one would be a gossiping target and due to the 'shame' that involved, one would make the Decision regarding a partner beforehand.

Thus, the Chameleon Character within the above thoughts pattern would always want to adapt oneself to the current trend and to not be "stuck" with a partner that do not stand in alignment to the current world trend within the context of the perfect partner. And since the trends are changes from time to time, one would prefer leaving a door open to align oneself to how the world would see oneself in relationship to one's prospect partner.

 

For myself, I remember at age 16, having this thoughts pattern coming up after a few months of extensive relationship with a partner. I looked at my future and I was sure that there must be something more, that there must be a better partner and the moment these thoughts slowly but surely accumulated into a point of no return, I ended the relationship and started the journey of seeking for more, seeking for the better man while all along, it seems now that with all the relationships that I had, the first guy, my first boyfriend was far more than any other guy I was with. But you can read all about it on my previous blogs. (use the search button). What I'm seeing now was how through the desire for more, I sabotaged and compromised a partnership that could have developed to a supportive and effective agreement though, it is unlikely that I would have find Desteni if I would to remain in the partnership from age 16 lol. The point is - one cannot trust oneself and one's decision once this thoughts pattern comes up in one's mind. what one can trust is that one is deceiving oneself to not face the actuality of one's fear of making a mistake and within that to support and assist oneself to assess the potential of walking with another within the principle of that which is best for all which means that within a partnership, both stand as a pillar of support for themselves and each other to expand, grow, develop and empower themselves to be and become and obviously stand as an effective human beings in this world.

 

The Corrective application within the context of such thoughts pattern is to have a look at one's decisions and choices and to learn how to assess the potential that would result with an outcome that is best for all. Here, I also suggest reading through the Blog Series: Birthing ourselves as life, as a partnership (Day 143 onwards).

The practical correction would be:

go through the Obvious Commonsense necessity of First Purifying EVERYTHING they consist of – Every Word, Every Part, Every Memory so that it can be Aligned to What is Best for All Life.” Bernard Poolman

Don't you Dare Manipulating me - Day 245

 

In my Previous blog, I started walking the point of Reacting to others and taking it personally when and as one is blaming me for their Negative experience.

 

As I wrote the Self Forgiveness statements, I've notice the multidimensionality of the Reaction point in how the reaction is varied according to a specific memory that I've stored within and as myself, throughout my life.

Thus, I will be walking and investigating how, why, when, where I react and to what, so that I can identify the points of reaction and within that, transform my application from Reaction to Prevention.

 

Within today blog, I will be investigating my reactions when and as I perceive another to manipulate me, directly or indirectly and within that, assist and support myself in standing stable when and as such instances occur because I realized that accepting and allowing myself to react to others is to accept and allow myself to disempower, diminish and compromise myself which is obviously not acceptable. But also, there is always 2 sides to the same coin and thus, another point to consider and investigate is when and as I'm the manipulator side. that will be walked in the next blog.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to react in anger within and as myself, when I perceive another to manipulate me and within that, I haven't accepted and allowed myself to turn the point back to myself to see, that the reaction of Anger, has nothing to do with the other manipulating me or not, it has to do with me accepting and allowing myself to miss a breath, to allow myself to be manipulated and in that disempowering myself to the extent of which I would compromise not only myself but the other as well as I'm not standing as a pillar of support, in directing the moment within Common Sense Practical Consideration but I direct the moment within a dismissive, inferior position which I would then thus try to avoid by accessing a defense mode, attempting to diminish the other so that I won't experience my own victimization that I've accepted and allowed within and as myself.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to React in Anger when and as I perceived another to manipulate me because by the time that I realize that I allowed myself to be influenced by another's manipulation, I blamed the other for manipulating me and accordingly, get angry at them, not seeing the actuality of how I projected the anger towards them as if they forced me to be manipulated, not seeing, realizing and understanding that it was me who decide to allow myself to be manipulated and the anger that I experience is actually towards myself for accepting and allowing myself to miss a breath and allow manipulation to influence my stance within and as myself. 

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to blame another for manipulating me instead of realizing that the source of this Blame is in fact anger towards myself for accepting and allowing myself to fall into their manipulation however, what I haven't realized that so long as I accept and allow myself to blame other for my experiences and/or, for what I have accepted and allowed within and as myself, I'm abdicating my responsibility to turn the point back to myself, seeing my responsibility within it and how I can prevent such instances and stand in stability and self trust and thus, direct the situation to the best for all outcome.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself while and during my reaction when I perceive that another is manipulating me or the situation that involves me from the perspective of my self interest design that I created within and as myself to then, instead of STOP my reaction within and as myself, allocating my starting point and realign my starting point through and as the Principle of what is best for all and within that developing a common sense approach in how to direct such points that would result with the outcome that is best for all, I have accepted and allowed myself to try and attempt to take my power back from self interest starting point through diminishing the other, and prove them wrong and in that, keep my self interest intact, not seeing, realizing and understanding that in doing so, I compromise myself and the other through NOT standing as the directive principle but rather, allowing my emotions to take control and direct the situation for me.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to react to another's manipulation of a situation because I fear that they will 'win' their argument and it will affect me in some way or another however, I haven't realized that when I accept and allow myself to react to another attempt to manipulate a situation, I disempower myself from the ability to direct the situation effectively, in supporting the other to see their participation in manipulation so that we could re-align our starting point in making an agreement of how we would resolve the situation and thus transform the friction and conflict as reactions to a solution that will stand in alignment to the principle of what is best for all.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to judge and define another as manipulator because they have been manipulating me in the past and accordingly, haven't allowed myself to trust them as I accepted and allowed myself to hold onto grudge of the past event. In this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed my approach towards these beings to be from the get go, a defense mechanism approach and  thus, I would be alert and attentive and look for the spots of manipulation emerging so that I won't fall again and become manipulated. In this, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to turn the point back to myself in seeing, realizing and understanding that it was always me that had decided whether or not I allow myself to be manipulated and if anything, because I've accepted and allowed their manipulation in the past, I didn't stand as a support in showing them that they have accepted and allowed manipulation to exists within and as them. In this, Instead of developing self trust within and as myself, to effectively direct situation when another is manipulating and thus, support them to see what they have accepted and allowed within them, I created another program within and as myself to detect such manipulation and to automatically React in Anger, short temper and spite and accordingly, start to defend myself when it is occur. In this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to prepare myself to situation where I feel that another is manipulating me, through a program that I created within and as myself as Reaction where I would access a defense mode and attempt to prove the other wrong because I seemingly right instead of taking a breath, stop the reactions and direct the situation in common sense so that we can resolve the point to manifest the best for all outcome.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to FEAR that another will manipulate me and their manipulation will affect me, as my self interest, in some way or another, and thus, I developed a defense mechanism as a reaction where I  will automatically access to, not seeing, realizing and understanding that while and during accepted and allowed reaction, I completely disempowered myself to practically direct a situation to produce the best for all outcome. In this, I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to trust myself to stand stable and clear when and as someone try and attempt to manipulate me or a situation that involves me, and within that self stability, to direct myself and the other according to a principle that would produce an outcome that is best for all.

 

I commit myself to further expand, open up and investigate reactions as I see, realize and understand that when accepting and allowing reactions to exists within and as me, I completely disempower myself and compromise myself, others and this world as a whole so long as I don't stand in self stability, breathing and direct the moment to the best for all outcome.

 

I commit myself to when and as I perceive another to manipulate me, to then stop, breathe and realign my starting point and in that, to make sure that I'm free from reaction and able to direct the moment to the best for all outcome as a principle.

 

I commit myself to when and as I see myself accessing anger towards another when I perceive them to manipulate me, to then stop, breathe, turn the point back to myself, let go of the energy possession of and as anger and remind myself that the anger is directed and towards myself for allowing myself to miss a breath and speak from a self interest reaction. I thus, make sure that I'm clear and only then speak.

 

I commit myself to assist and support myself in standing firm, stable and clear within and as myself, when and as I communicate with another, in any given moment.

 

 

Seeing the Evil Nature in Dreams - Day 229

This a continuation to:

From Evilness to Life - Day 226

The seclusion in Inclusion - Day 227

 

I had Quite a Vivid dream last night which was fascinating from the perspective that I had listen to the Life Review Interview - Dream Interpreter the day before, which was a great assistance and support in walking through the point that had opened up in the dream.

 

As was explained in the interview, Dreams are specific and represents one's Personalities Participation in one's day to day Living which Consciousness may imprint to the Dream Domain and through this, one could assist and support oneself to see what one require to further investigate within and as oneself and accordingly take responsibility and change from a Mind Personality to a Living Physical Expression of and as oneself.

 

In this Life Review, a man came through the Portal to share his life on Earth within his relationship to how he would interpret dreams and what he had Realized about himself and the Consequences of his actions on earth within his relationship to Dream interpretation after he had died and within that, how little did he actually understood about Dreams and their meanings.

 

It was suggested that one would look at one's reactions, behaviour, memories, past events, experiences etc. that came up in the dream because that will show the relationships that one haven't sorted out yet, within and as oneself.

 

So now that I'm working with the Evil Point within the last 3 days of writing, it was interesting that the Dream came up to show me another layer/dimension that I haven't looked at yet in self honesty, which I'm grateful for as I'm seeing within and as myself now that this unresolved point within me, is a key factor that is causing a friction and conflict within my relationship with another human being in my Physical Environment for more than 2 years now.

 

So - Within my relationship with this being, we had 2 past experiences wherein I perceived the being to betray me with getting involved with 2 males (in 2 separated occasions) that the being knew I was interested with. None one of these males where in alignment to where I was within my process and the chances of us actually getting to know each other and developing a stable and supportive relationship/agreement, were close to nothing, and yet, I still perceive the being to spite me and I started developing and growing resentment towards the being within and as myself, very slowly but surely.

 

I haven't face this point in writing till now but I see already that it is detrimental to face this point and correct myself because as long as I keep and hold onto this memory about this being, and the experience of being betrayed, I would not be able to stand in Equality with the being. What I've seen within and as myself was that, I would deliberately activate this memory of the experience of being betrayed in moments that I feel inferior within the relationship with the being and I would access this revenge that exists within me and would get the 'Power' to spite, and talk the being down through justifying to myself that I cannot trust them due to past event where they have hurt me.

 

In the Dream that I had, me and this being were in a camping park with lots of people around us, maybe watching a movie on a big screen or something and we saw a couple of friends of us, male and a female that were waving towards us to come over. The guy is someone that I knew in real life, a guy that I had a sex relationship a few years back. Our level of communication was abusive in nature where he would disrespect me in front of others and I would accept it because I had sex with him and I had to justify to myself that it is fine so that I would be able to continue having sex with him. In the dream, the being and I started walking towards the 2 friends and I've noticed that the being is planning to sit next to the guy and I felt a surge of jealousy, resentment and anger within me like: "what the fuck, why does she get to sit next to him, this is my guy". I can't remember which one of us set next to the guy but I remember I was talking to myself in calming myself down, reminding myself that this guy isn't someone that I even want to be with but I felt the competition in walking to them faster so that I could win and get what I wanted before the being could take the guy away from me again.

 

When I woke up and looked at the dream, investigating my reactions, the experience, the back chat, the thoughts, my expression, the way I behaved and so forth, it was clear that the past event of me feeling betrayed still affect my relationship with this being till this day, as there is a part of me that would not let it go and trust the relationship to stand when and as there is a male in the picture in particular but it also goes to the extent of which, I would not trust the being in other instances and would always keep a certain distance so that I wouldn't get hurt again.

 

It was fascinating because this part of me that wouldn't let go, the part that would keep the need to revenge to protect myself, is the Evil personality that I've been working within the last few days and here I go, having a dream that is so specific that shows a point within and as myself that I was not willing to face before.

 

I will continue walking this point with a process of Self Forgiveness and Practical corrective application however, for today, here is an example of how to work with dreams in a practical way, as was explained in much more specificity within the Life Review - Dream Interpreter.

 

For those who are working with dreams or have worked in the past, I suggest listening to this interview as it would give some insights and points to consider when and as one work with dreams.