Pornography Messed up my Sex Life - Life Review - Day 238

 

A few days ago, I listened to the Interview - Pornography Messed up my Sex Life - Live Review and I found it fascinating in understanding the Minds of those who are addicted to Porn - the ins and out of the Design of the Addiction to Porn and what is it that these people are actually facing within and as themselves.

 

While walking my Process of writing and taking on the Point of Relationships and Sex, I've seen how with some of the partners that I've been with, which were addicted to Porn, the Relationship couldn't stand because I took it Personally and was sure that the reason why the relationship didn't stand was because of my performance in bed. And holly fuck, it is so absurd that we've turn Sex to Performance and within that, limited Sex to such an extant that it is in no way an expression of 2 people coming together to explore, assist and support themselves and their physical.  

If only I had the tools that I have now to assist and support myself and my partner, much of the experiences that I faced within my relationships with men, could be prevented and corrected as I now see, realize and understand why and how beings finds themselves addicted to Porn and what it is within them that they either Fear or perceive themselves to be lacking off which then, they would go into Porn.

 

Understand - we have the tendency to Judge that which we don't understand; to Judge people that are walking a different life path than how we think and perceive life should be lived; we judge the consequences of Porn for instance within our society; What we have missed and didn't realize is that Judgement is a reaction to a well known Problem but instead of getting to the root/source/core/origin of the problem, we would either ignore, suppress, hide and/or Deny; or we would focus all our attention to our reaction, not realizing that the reaction is nothing but a distraction to actually face the point we faced within and as ourselves. But there is another way - we could stand up and find Solutions to Prevent the Problem from re-emerge and/or Re-occur. This is what Desteni is all about - Prevention as the Ultimate Cure.

 

Thus, instead of Judging or Blame, Let's educate ourselves to Understand the Mind and what we have become as the Mind; let's Expand ourselves in getting to know how our mind works and functions to the nitty gritty details because once we'll know ourselves as the totality of our minds, we would understand and see directly the totality of the universal mind and would be able to Prevent Consequences instead of Judging them; we would be able to take responsibility instead of shifting responsibility. We would be able to assist and support others in showing them, what we have seen for ourselves. Our Process is of Prevention, and Porn for that matter - it is not about closing down the Porn industry, that will only cause more friction and conflict in people's mind as this is not a real and substantial solution but a cover up for the real/source/origin/core of the Problem. the Prevention for that matter would be Education, the Studies of the Mind within all the Layers of the mind so that one could see for oneself how and why one had developed and established a relationship to and towards Porn and accordingly, one would find it much more easy to realize oneself once one would understand the design that one had accepted and allowed oneself to exists within and as.

 

So, If you find yourself addicted to Porn, or if you are in a relationship where your partner is addicted to Porn, I suggest listening to this interview to assist and support you in getting to know yourself and/or your Partner as what drives one into developing and establishing a close relationship with Porn.

Intimacy in Words - Part 1 - Day 152

This is a continuation to:

Developing Intimate sexual communication with Self - Day 151

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to believe that I'm able to communicate unconditionally with my partner before I have even investigated, developed and establish an a effective communication with myself within and as self integrity and self honesty.

 

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to get to know myself within and as my own sexual expression and within that, have believed that my partner would know how to satisfied me without even realizing that how can ever someone else satisfied me if I never have been able to satisfied myself to the extent of which I'm equal to and one as my human physical body, slowly but surely exploring myself and accordingly, able to communicate with my self with regards to what my human physical body required as a support structure and so, communicate with my partner as to what would support me the most within and as our connectedness regarding our human physical bodies.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to have experience shame to speak and communicate about my sexuality with my partner, not ever considering that if I cannot communicate with my partner regarding my physical body support within and as sex, what is the nature of our relationship? And what is it in essence we are busy doing to ourselves and each other if the support structure is not yet standing in alignment to who we are?; what is our foundation for the relationship if it is not based on self honesty communication within and as myself first, and accordingly, move and direct myself within the relationship through communication that is based on effective support as to where we are in our processes and how we could both assist and support ourselves and each other.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to experience shame for wanting to explore and investigate who I am within and as sex; What is sex to me and Why is my physical human body require sex and so, I have judged these common sense basic necessity to get to know myself in all my relationships to myself as I've defined it as wrong/bad/immoral through what I've picked up by our society in its relationship to sex and sexuality.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to believe that my communication with my partner is effective only when we shared with each other for example, how do we experience ourselves, our days etc. and through my definition of a good and effective communication, I've neglected to consider our sexual communication as I've defined that communication to only be a physical expression that result with pleasure and I haven't consider the actual communication where we share and show each others how to support each other within and as our sexual expression and within that, how to assist and support each other to transform our mind sex expression to a physical unconditional expression.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to define Intimacy in association to the physical act of sex only and haven't realized the Living Word as - Into Me I see, becoming comfortable with and as myself, getting to know the ins and outs of myself within all my relationships that I've split myself into and as and to within that, get all the parts of me together. Within that, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to believe that when and as I communicate with a being about sex and sexuality, I'm invading an intimate secretive aspect that I must filter myself and be careful with the words I speak.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself define Intimacy within a sexual context and I haven't accepted and allowed myself to be and become intimate with myself nor with other beings in my world and my environment as I've placed opinions about Intimacy that trapped me in my own seclusion of my mind, fearing my own shadow, not allowing anything or anyone to invade my secretive self. In this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to NOT see, realize and understand the consequence of my acceptance and allowances of fearing intimacy to the extent of not being able to even establish a communication with myself and obviously others.

 

To be continued..

Spilling semen in vain - Self Commitments - Day 117

This is a continuation to:

Sexual Expression – Overview  Day 112

Investigating Sexual Expression - Self Forgiveness Part 1 - Day 113

Investigating Sexual Expression - Self Commitments - Part 1 - Day 114

 

Spilling semen in vain - Day 115

Spilling semen in vain - Self Forgiveness -  Day 116

 

 

I commit myself to Expose and Show that the ALL religion LAWS are based on Absolute IGNORANCE with none Common Sense whatsoever.

 

I commit myself to WRITE and EXPLAIN in Details the relationship between the Mind and the Physical throughout my process of Stepping out of my mind and rebirth myself as the Physical and within that, Explain how to support ourselves as the Physical Body with and through Masturbation and Sex.

 

I commit myself to do what ever I can to Support children from all religions in questioning and challenging their belief systems which was taught to them by their parents and accordingly, assist and support them with applying Common Sense in their day to day living application in order to be, become and changed into and as effective human beings in this world who would stand within and as principle of a world that is best for all.

 

I commit myself to PROVE and SHOW that the real SIN is the Abuse that we have accepted and allowed to manifest in this world where we allow billions of people to daily die from Starvation, malnutrition, diseases etc. and within that, literally living the physical application of spilling our Semen in Vain as we allow our children of this world to Die without having any potential LIFE, a life that is dignified and worthwhile in all ways possible.

 

I commit myself to SHOW that the real SINNERs are those who brainwash their children to become zombified human being that will justify the abuse and suffering in this world by the name of GOD, God's Will, Karma, Punishment etc.

I commit myself to SHOW how through the religious Parent's Belief System in relation to sex and masturbation, they are in fact creating unhealthy children that would spend their time, in their mind, defining themselves as EVIL for having thoughts they are not able to understand as they were never been educated to understand the relationship between their human physical body and their mind as well as the consequences that may manifest through/by supressing their physical sexuality.

 

I commit myself to assist and support with the development and the establishment of educational youth programs that will educate and train the youth with the understanding of the equality and oneness within and as their human physical body as well as standing as a pillar of support for the children who are not in a position to be educated by their parents with regards to Sex and Masturbation as their parents have not yet walked their process of stepping out of their mind, their pre-programmed mind that CONsist of and Exists as their religion of Self and as such, are not able to stand in equality and oneness with their children and support them according to what each child in this world is required for, to be able to be and become an effective human being in this world.

 

I commit myself to SHOW that many religion relationships between partners are done for the sake of SEX as a way and means to deal with one's physical changes and therefor, to EXPOSE the abusive religious systems that support the youngsters into abusive relationships that do not support anyone whatsoever.

For those who can read Hebrew - an interesting blog that I've read today: http://www.xnet.co.il/family/articles/0,14566,L-3096594,00.html

 

I commit myself to SHOW that producing children without having an effective platform that cares about each and every child in the family, where the parents are directly involved with the education of their child, is in fact SIN.

 

I commit myself to SHOW that producing children to not spill the semen in vain is an abusive religion LAW that do not take into consideration the children that are born into a world where the parents are not directly involved in one's upbringing, the parents doesn't have the skills, the money and the resources to take care of the children as what each child in this world is required for, is the ultimate abuse that one is accepting and allowing by the name of GOD.

 

To be continued...

Spilling semen in vain - Self Forgiveness - Day 116

This is a continuation to:

Sexual Expression – Overview  Day 112

Investigating Sexual Expression - Self Forgiveness Part 1 - Day 113

Investigating Sexual Expression - Self Commitments - Part 1 - Day 114

 

Spilling semen in vain - Day 115

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to blindly follow the Religion laws, telling me that I must not touch myself and explore myself as my human physical body within the belief that if I would, I will be deserve to DIE.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to attach, define and connect masturbation with SIN and I haven't realized that the real SIN is that which we have accepted and allowed this world to be and become;

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to believe that if I masturbate, I'm a sinner and I haven't accepted and allowed myself to question the Real SIN which is my blindfold belief of my religious laws which justifying and allowing the continuation of abuse in this world by the name of God.

 

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to investigate, research and educate myself with regards to the physical consequences that may emerge if I allow myself to suppress my physical expression within self intimacy with MYSELF as I've NOT considered the relationship between the mind and the physical due to lack of understanding of those who have come before me; those who have set the laws without taking the physical aspect in consideration and those who have brainwashed me from a very young age till I've obey and accepted the laws as myself.

 

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see how ridiculous the law: "Do not spill your semen in Vain" where in, when I'm having sex, there are about 300 million sperm that released in an ejaculation and thus, according to the analogy in the bible, I should be defined as a murderer of 300 Million Potential children. Also, each month, as the woman goes through the menstruation cycle, there is an egg that release  - does it means that every month the woman is the murderer of a potential child if she doesn't have sex and become pregnant?

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself believe that I would be deserve to die, if I explore, become intimate and touch myself as my human physical body and I have accepted this belief to be my directive principle as I've lost all common sense and have tied myself into my own law systems which I gave my power to, in separation of me, without ever considering who I am as the physical touch; never considered or allowed myself to investigate the laws that I bind myself to and accordingly, stand up, and directing myself and my world according to common sense informative decisions which I'm able to stand within and as, for eternity.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to judge myself in spite because of sexual thoughts that came up in my mind, thoughts that I wasn't prepared, educated and taught to deal with; thoughts that my Religious environment taught me it is Evil and therefor, I've defined myself as EVIL within and as myself, not realizing that the same way I have those thoughts, my environment has those thoughts and because none of us understood how the mind worked and functions, we believed that if we won't tell anyone, everything would be ok and if we won't act on those thoughts, God will not know.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to when and as the sexual thoughts and hormonal physical changes emerged within and as me, to suppress the thoughts and feelings within and as myself and I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to remain in FEAR of not knowing what is wrong with me as I believed that I was not allowed to speak about it, ask for guideness and direction and in this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed the silence about sex and Masturbation within my Religious community and therefore, have blindly accepted and allowed the Religious Laws, despite of me being aware of my body changes and the thoughts that came up, which had accumulated and become unbearable till I had to act on it, within and as self shame, not telling anyone and hoping that I won't be exposed, not ever considering that everyone are doing the same but would never talk about it.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed religious Law to dictate what I can or cannot do with myself, as my human physical body and I haven't realized that the reason for these laws were and still are, to control the human beings in their own fears, so that no one would ever question and challenge our existence and actually become the change that we all want to see in this world.

 

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see the separation that exists within and as the religious laws and how through accepting and allowing the laws as who I am, I've actually, accepted and allowed the separation of me from myself as my human physical body.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to go into marriage at a very young age so that I could deal with my hormonal changes within a marriage unit where sex is allowed. In this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to justify why I'm engaging into marriage within and as my mind, not seeing, realizing and understand my own starting point - the desire for sex. In this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to base my relationship on a desire for sex, disguised by a religion act, not seeing, realizing and understanding that relationship required to be based on AGREEMENT where both parties commit to assist and support themselves and their partner EQUALLY, agreement that is based on self honest communication that will allow both parties to grow and expand themselves into become effective human being in this world. 

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to bring so many children in this world, without having the ability to raise them effectively and within that, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed the desire for sex to override common sense wherein, to be able to have sex, I believe I must not use my semen in vain and accordingly, must have children.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to abused my children through enslaving them to raise their siblings so that I could have sex from time to time and accordingly, have more children into this world which would also be raised by their siblings.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to believe that masturbation is wrong because in masturbating, I'm committing a crime as I spill my semen and in that, murdering my potential children and I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that the real crime, is the belief of the religious laws that by the name of god, the abuse, as enslavement of my children is allowed, as they have to be the guardians of their siblings so that I could have sex and talk with god all day long.

 

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to take my children into consideration when I made the decision to bring MORE children into this world and within that, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to ignore the physical needs that every child is required in this world despite of me, not being able, in no way, to give that to my children when my family unit consists of 10-20 children.

 

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to walk with my child and explaining them what is going on inside them, as their body start to change and be influenced by physical hormones and instead, I left them alone to believe there is Evilness within themselves that is talking them into masturbation because I didn't have the courage to speak openly about my own process of discovering my human physical body, my own process of becoming intimate with my body because as far as I concern, I'm not allowed to do so, nevertheless, speak about it. Within that, I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to be and become an effective parent in this world as I tied myself into a religious laws, in separation of myself and have blindly followed it as if it is the ultimate truth.

 

To be continued...

Spilling Semen in Vain - Day 115

 

This is a continuation to:

Sexual Expression – Overview  Day 112

Investigating Sexual Expression - Self Forgiveness Part 1 - Day 113

Investigating Sexual Expression - Self Commitments - Part 1 - Day 114

 

Males Masturbation is forbidden according to Jewish Religion law because when one is masturbating, one is Spilling semen in vain and accordingly, deserve dying.

 

    "But why all these precautions? — Because otherwise one might emit semen in vain, and R. Johanan stated: Whosoever emits semen in vain deserves death, for it is said in Scripture."

    —Babylon Talmud, Tractate Niddah, p. 13a

 

 

Seriously! That is what they teach the Jewish Religion kids.. If you masturbate, you deserve death.

And they even back it up:

 

Genesis 38:7-10 “Now Er, Judah's firstborn, was evil in the eyes of the Lord… Now onan knew that the progeny would not be his, and it came about, when he came to his [deceased] brother's wife, he wasted [his semen] on the ground... Now what he did was evil in the eyes of the Lord..."

 

Rashi (based on the Talmud) comments about Er: “His evil was like the evil of Onan, viz. that he wasted his semen... Now, why would Er waste his semen? So that she (Tamar) would not become pregnant and her beauty be impaired".

 

Accordingly, the Females are allowed to masturbate because they do not have Semen to waste while the Male, is guilty with Murder of his potential children because he prevents the use of that semen for conceiving a child and this, is a criminal act.

 

Did anyone consider the consequences within one's mind/physical relationship? Obviously not because having such forbidden act serves the continuation of ignorant people who rush into marriage for the ONE reason: dealing with their physical reactions in their human physical body as hormones because only within marriage, one is allowed to spill one's semen and that is also conditioned to the rule of having children when having sex.

Also, another obvious consequence is having over populated families where the children raise their siblings because the parents wants to fuck but the only way they are allowed to fuck is when they  use the male semen to produce more children, despite of the fact that the family doesn't have the means and skills to raise an effective human being in this world as well as giving the child the attention, care and education that a child is required to have in order to have an effective and fulfilling life.

No, that wasn't taken into consideration as the parents can happily fuck each other and in that, fuck their children in being their slaves who raise their younger siblings. I mean, how effective a family unit can be, when there are 10-20 children in the household? How can the mother be a supportive mother when most of the time, she is busy breast feeding and the father is busy study the Torah?

 

And no, I'm not being sarcastic, I'm bring common sense to the table. I'm simply sharing the outflows of one's acceptance of some religion laws which was not taken into consideration as the consequences of the laws and how it will effect humanity as a whole. I'm bringing here the Jewish religion as my ID certificate defines me as a Jew however, if one take a look at all and every types of religion - it is all the same - unpractical laws that one is blindly following because one is not willing and daring to step out from one's own fears; one is not willing and daring to face oneself and what one is ignorantly had accepted and allowed oneself to live as and by and accordingly, make the adjustments/changes that are required to bring about a world that is best for all in FACT.

 

Within my next blog, I will be walking the Self Forgiveness Process, as I stand in the shoes of the Religious character, in the context of Masturbation. I will place the character within and as me, and see the backchats, the emotions and feelings that emerged within and as me, when walking equal and one as the forbidden masturbation character. Should be interesting..

Sexual Expression – Overview Day 112

This is a continuation to:

 

Suppressed Expression Character - Day 101

Suppressed Self Expression - The beginning of the End - Day 102

Singing Expression Character - Day 103

The Shyness Character - Day 104

The Shyness Character - Self Forgiveness as the parent - Day 105

The Shyness Character - Self Commitments Statements - Day 106

Singing Expression - Self Forgiveness - Day 107

Singing Expression - Self Commitments - Day 108

 

 

Within this blog, I will be looking at the relationship between children and parents and how one evolved one's sexual expression from early childhood years into adulthood.

 

As a child, one do not attach, define or associate one's sexual organs with sexuality. When one touch oneself, as a child, one does it for only ONE reason - it is enjoyable, exactly like adults enjoy the touch of one's sexual organs. Only later on, Morality kicks in and the parents forbid the child from touching oneself from various types and forms of opinions, beliefs and ideas. In Essence, the Parent reacts to the Child's expression and with having no effective parenting skills education in this world, the parent isn't aware of the consequences that emerged from the first moment of reaction.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that Parents are not Instructed how to Instruct Children and are thus Not Qualified to be Instructors and are thus Destructors that will even Defend their Right to Destroy their Children in spite of the Fact that if one’s not Trained in Effective Direct Instruction, one is in fact Not Qualified to have Children under one's Supervision and would Never Employ someone Unqualified to do a Job - yet the most Important Job on Earth, which is to Instruct Newborn Children, is allowed to be Instructed by Unqualified, Inadequate Trainers - resulting in a World where No One is in fact Ever Qualified or Instructed to be part of a Society that is Best for All Present on Earth; and Although lip service is paid to Ideals like ‘Love thy Neighbor as Thyself’ it is Never Actualized as the Parent as New Life Unqualified Instruction Never Learned the Practical Implication where ‘Love Thy Neighbor as Thyself’ actually Exists. Bernard Poolman - http://creationsjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/08/day-110-children-are-not-born-with.html

 

I have no idea whether or not I have been touching myself as I was a young kid, I can only remember the time I became aware of what I was doing and with that, came guilt, embarrassment and shame; and so, I stopped. Obviously, no one explained to me what I'm experiencing, no one walked me through the understanding of Who I am as my physical body and so, only occasionally, I would touch, just to see how does it feels because it is enjoyable, you cannot ignore something like that; I couldn't also ignore the feeling that I'm doing something wrong, so I did it secretly, while I was in the toilet room when no one was around to question why it takes me so long to get out of the toilet room. In my eye's view - I was doing something I shouldn't speak about, shouldn't be doing and I might as well keep it to myself because after all, it is my PRIVATE organs. Lol.

 

So, why is it that it is wrong? What is the difference between touching one's hands and touching one's 'sexual' organs? Why is it that we have accepted and allowed the touch of our nose/face/hands as normal and validated and the touch of our sexual organs as wrong, immoral, forbidden?

 

Where did we learn it from? Who expose us to this moral polarity? Why is it that we have accepted and allowed ourselves to separate ourselves from our human physical body organs through giving a different values to specific organs? Why is it that we have lived inside our mind, having ideas/opinions/beliefs about our bodies and haven't stood in equality and oneness with our human physical body? Have we born separate from our human physical body or is it programs that we have installed within and as ourselves according to our environment?

 

It is no secret that our parents teach us every thing that we are and are basically, shaping and moulding our characters to be aligned with theirs however, it was us who accepted and allowed all of those characters as who we are and in that, made the decision to separate ourselves from ourselves and become an automated memory based machines. It will then, be us, who must re-birth ourselves through daring looking inside ourselves, through all the things we have been taught to suppress; it will be US that will take the responsibility to disengage from who we have become, to be able to see who we really are. There is no point in blaming others for our faulty creations of ourselves because doing so, it is do abdicate our responsibility. Blaming is done when one isn't willing to change oneself in fact; What was done is done. Our Future though - is ours to write, as it will be measured according to what we will accept and allow, and what we won't.

 

Will Continue investigating this point and assist and support myself, as well as others to uncover the suppressed Sexuality that we have defined as wrong.

For further perspective and understanding what is Sex and Masturbation, I suggest listening to the EQAFE interview series:

What is Sex and the Shocking Secret of Masturbation.

 

 

Love others, Hate yourself - Day 51

This blog is an outflow of an interview that I've heard today which I strongly recommend you to hear if you haven't already - Reptilians - Why Love is so Addictive - Part 47

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to desire and yarn for a relationship and I haven't realized that the desire is based on Energy that I can cross reference for myself through looking in self honesty at the type of thoughts, back chat and internal conversation within a total obsession and possession in my conscious mind and within that, I forgive myself that I've misinterpreted the energy as desire, love and sex and externalized it in separation of myself within the yarning of being with another being in a relationship/agreement.

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see that I'm barely able to manage myself within the relationship that I have with myself as I'm bouncing from Hereness to absolute mind control in a split of a second which than raise the question - How can I mange a relationship with another if I'm not able to sustain a supportive relationship with myself? I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to give myself up for an energetic experience of LOVE and SEX and I haven't stop for a moment, to establish an effective agreement with myself, to sort myself out and align myself back to myself before I even consider taking the next step of walking an agreement with another human being. I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to yarn for agreement/relationship and sex because it is much more easier to live within energetic experience and focus on anything else but myself and thus, use the relationship/agreement as a mean to avoid myself and remain enslaved and control to consciousness as ENERGY.

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to introspect and investigate why LOVE is so addictive and why we have been spending most of our time in our mind, desiring for LOVE and SEX and within that, have failed to see that it is a deliberate design that we have placed in order to preoccupied ourselves inside our mind, to not have to consider the living expression of the word LOVE that is best for all from the perspective that each and everyone of us will exists in a world where we are taken care of because we are HERE, in this ONE physical reality and there of, having the right for a dignified LIFE.

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see the addictive consequences of the LOVE experience of ENERGY wherein I'm being obsessed within not only during the days but also during the nights while dreaming which reveal and show the control that energy as consciousness have on me and the extent of separation because I've NOT stood up within myself and absolutely became the directive principle during the days as well as nights.

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that the very thoughts, back chat, internal conversation that I have towards others in my world in the nature of spitefulness, jealousy, comparison, competition and judgement are existing in each and every single human being and thus, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to raise the question whether I would like to be with someone who allows backchat, internal conversation without being willing to sort oneself out if I haven't taken the responsibility to do the same. And I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to take into consideration that when I'm engaging an agreement/relationship with a being, this being will have nasty, spiteful, judgemental, evil thoughts about me and other beings in this world which I will miss due to the external presentation that we have all are walking and denying it through the yarning experience of LOVE however, if we would equalize our internal nature of ourselves with the

external presentation of ourselves we will most likely will be defined as crazy - which is exactly what and who we are as long as we accept and allow the evil nature that is within to exists as ourselves. And thus, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that assistance and support within an agreement is to support each other to see that which we have become as the evil nature that we are and transform ourselves within and as the principle of equality and oneness wherein, how relationship currently lived as is within the assistance and support of each other to remain evil as the direct reflection of our thoughts, back chat and internal conversation that we believe to be valid because no one can hear or see it, without no consideration nor awareness of the consequences of such allowance wherein this world, and how it manifested is a direct reflection of the inside or ourselves - evil world that is based on inner desires of self interests where the majority is being disregarded and abuse for the abundance of the few.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to daydream about my prospective partner and the LOVE experience that I will hold and I haven't considered or even imagine the type of thoughts, backchat, internal conversation that my prospective partner is having as the real nature of who one is because if I had to consider that point, I will have to consider my own mess in my mind and thus, would must have taken the responsibility to investigate, introspect and change myself. And I forgive myself that I've not accepted and allowed myself to focus on my own backchat, internal conversation and thoughts to be able to delete the patterns that it reveals and thus, went into the safe place of the LOVE experience as energy, in my mind, disregarding the fact that I won't even want to be with me with all the spiteful, judgemental, nasty thoughts towards another human being in this world and within that, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see how beautifully the design of LOVE was manifested to blind us from what is really going on inside ourselves and in this world so that we will not even SEE that which exists within us, within our partner and within all humans in this world and thus, won't address this problem and come with solution to assist and support ourselves to change our nature according to principle of equality and oneness so that our internal nature and our external presentation will be Equal and One as that which is best for all.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to have refused to see the examples that are playing out in the world of those who are in a relationships that started out with a huge feeling of LOVE and ended of with a huge emotion of HATE and have thus, refused to consider an agreement that is not based on energy of LOVE nor HATE but rather, based on practicality of walking in this ONE life and do what ever it takes to either making sure that the children to come will have a dignified and worthwhile future or either assist and support each other within our breath to breath process of stopping preprogramed patterns and prepare the way before us for an effective upbringing of our children within the starting point of giving them a future that is free from brainwashed of pattern that we've carried from those who have raised us and giving them a proper education that focus on a life skills to be able to become an effective human being in this world, who will continue the way after us, to establish a world that is best for all lives!

I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to see that the example of relationships in the world are an absolute demonstration of the Energy polarity of LOVE and HATE wherein, Love turn into Hate in a split of a second and the Good and Positive LOVE energy turned into a Bad and Negative Hate Energy which than raise the question - Is LOVE real if it doesn't remain for eternity? Is love real if it is not a constant breath by breath application? If love is real when it turns into hate? Is Love real if it's not equally distributed to everyone? Is love real if we abuse ourselves and each other?

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see the relationship between self hate and the desire for relationship wherein, we believe and perceive that we can feel complete and stop the self hate if we find someone who can accept us just the way we are and I have failed to see that in essence the desire for relationship that we seek after is essentially a relationship with ourselves and we have failed to realize that we do not require anyone or anything to feel complete within ourselves; all we have to do is embrace ourselves and be self honest enough to walk through pattern by pattern, and align ourselves back to ourselves within equality and oneness principle and only than, we can have an interdependent agreement with another human being that will stand the test of time.

I commit myself to show and reveal how we have misinterpreted the Energy of Love and Sex and externalized it in separation from ourselves within the desire and yarning for the energetic experience of LOVE within a relationship.

I commit myself to mange myself as the mind into alignment of and as the physical and transform the dependent energy relationship that I've created with the mind to and as an agreement that will pass the test of time as I walk myself out of the mind and into the physical, breath by breath through a process of stopping pattern by pattern

I commit myself to show how LOVE as energetic self egocentric experience is Addictive as equal to and one as Drugs and the similarity between Drug abuse and Love abuse and Why we require developing rehab programs to assist and support humanity with letting go of the energetic experience of LOVE and instead walk the living expression of LOVE within the principle of Love Thy Neighbour as Thy Love Thyself.

I commit myself to stand as the directive principle during the days and nights and to direct myself effectively breath by breath also in my dreams because the dreams are a direct reflection of that which I allow and give permission to in my sub and unconscious mind and thus, I utilize the dream as a gift to see myself where I normally don't.

I commit myself to show and reveal to the world the evil nature that we have become within our mind as the reflection within as the thought, back chat, inner conversation about other people in our mind as well as without as the reflection of the world that we have equally created through our acceptance and allow whether we see it directly or not and I commit myself to present a solution for the mind gossiping pattern through standing as an example within my writing of Self Forgiveness and walking the physical correction.

I commit myself to show how crazy we really are and how it is in fact all in reverse wherein we define those who speak without filtering their thoughts as crazy while all along, the only thing the differ between normal and crazy people is filtering mechanism that 'Normal' people has developed to be accepted in society despite of their mind revealing the evilness that is within as judgement, spiteful, comparison, jealousy and nastiness thoughts towards others.

 

I commit myself to show and explain in detail how self destructive and abusive daydreaming and wishful thinking about the 'one' is, to be able to sustain the experience of LOVE and the consequences thereof.

I commit myself to educate and apply myself to stand as a pillar of supportive education for those who will come after me so that we can end the cycle of robotic zombified beings that exists within and as ONE point of self interest and instead, assist and support the next generation to become effective human beings with a proper LIFE skills so that they can lead the future of tomorrow within the principle of that which is best for all. 

Art by  Malin Olofsson

Blinded by Love - Day 47

This is a continuation of my previous blog: How to Choose a Partner – Day 21

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to seek for the experience of LOVE where my entire human physical body feels light, when everything seems to be alright and having a smile on my face without any particular reason and I haven't seen that those experience/moments are a imprints that I've downloaded into myself through watching Romantic movies and that those moments/experiences are momentary and as such, cannot be a real physical expression because if it was real, it would have been me who direct the smile, the light feeling body and it wasn't an energetic experience that was based on external forces magically just happened.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to prompt my children with Love stories and Movies and I haven't realized the implication of my doing - programming to become an individual self interests beings that move and direct oneself according to the child desires to fulfil one purpose of surviving instead of educating my child with a practical commons sense of what does it means to practically LOVE within the principle of Love thy neighbor as thyself wherein the physical living application of Love can be measured within the establishment world that is best for all LIVES.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to have refused to see that LOVE is a delusional mind fuck that one is participating with because when one experience LOVE, one is closed down to one's own mind where for a moment, everything seems to be OK and fine regardless of this world not being OK and fine and thus, we spend our lives, seeking for the experience of LOVE in self interest, for a moment of bliss and while doing that, separating ourselves form the real LIFE that is here, a LIFE that is not worth living for the majority of this world and instead of walking the living expression of LOVE in making sure that all could have a dignified LIFE, we have been preoccupying ourselves with the energetic feeling of Love that is in no way a living application of LOVE that is best for all

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to be blind by LOVE and thus, missed and ignored the obvious points that require corrections within the relationships/agreements that I've walked and within that, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to make the decision of walking an agreement/relationship with a partner based on feelings and emotions while disregarding the functionality of walking an agreement with another in terms of our processes, sexual alignment , our financial stability and thus, take all the variables and make an informative decision that is based on practicality instead of emotions/feelings so that we could walk together, in alignment in this ONE life.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to - when being in a relationship/agreement, to fall into the trap of LOVE as an energetic experience and thus, seclude myself from the LIFE that is here, right in front of me; LIFE that required direction and major change so that all could have a LIFE that is worth LIVING and I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see the deception in LOVE as a design to make people stuck in their own bubble of self interest while disregarding LIFE and the change that is required to be walked in terms of the LIVING application of LOVE that is best for all.

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see how one is attempting to control the experience of LOVE through compromising and limiting oneself and this world through blinding and closing one's eyes so that the experience of LOVE could remain for just one more moment regardless the huge RED FLAGS that are lighting all over, screaming for correction and change in oneself, in the relationship/agreement and in this world.

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to learn form my past mistakes and correct my application with regards to choosing a partner and thus, time after time after time, I find myself looping the same points and becoming angry at myself for falling into the same trap because I gave value to the LOVE experience and I didn't allow myself to let it go even though I've already seen that the experience isn't real and can only last for so long before it disappear and one remain with a fucked up reality, remain with picking up the pieces and stand up again, only to return to the same point that one faced in the beginning with no actual and real self change.

I commit myself to expose and show that the current Media is prompting Love from the starting point of keeping the individuals secluded in their mind so that they won't be able to even consider walking the physical application of 'love thy neighbor as thyself' and stand up for LIFE that is best for all because they are too occupied in their self interest little bubble of their mind while those who control the media can keep making profit on the backs of their brainwashed consumers.

I commit myself to show and reveal what does it mean to actually LOVE as an application of the principle of what is best for all rather than how love is currently walked as an individual pursuit of happiness in total separation from oneself and one's world.

I commit myself to stop making decisions based on emotions and feelings such as LOVE and instead, make informative decisions that are based on practical common sense and consideration of myself, others and essentially everything and everyone.

I'm letting go of the desire to experience LOVE as an energetic momentary experience because I realized that the design of LOVE as we walk today is a delusional mind fuck that keeps us preoccupied in our mind, in a zombified state of selfish beings that consider only of themselves and disregards the entirety of this world.

Please watch my Vlog - 2012 - LOVE Month -Is Love and Light the Solution?