Wanting to be Saved by Prince Charming - Day 171

This is a continuation to:

Part 1 - My First Love.

Part 2 - What is Love to me?

What is Spiritual Love to me? - Part 3 - Day 158

No Sex - No Relationship - Day 167

Men only think about Sex? - Day 168

Values System Within my Mind – Day 169

The Love Experience - Day 170

 

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to create and believe in my creation of my own misery so that I could live out the fantasy of being saved by my Prince Charming and as years passed by and the ONE LOVE didn't show up, I created more misery for myself and more sadness for myself, not seeing the relationship between my desire to be saved by the ONE and the misery that I put myself through so that I could have this experienced of being saved. In this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to separate myself to such an extent that I prepared the way before me, in deliberateness, for someone to save me through the belief that it would be the only way that I could experience the LOVE, not seeing, realizing and understanding the consequential outflows of my desires.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed the desire of being saved from  my own sadness as a design that I've created within and as myself, looking for the missing piece - for a guy that would play along within this design - one that had accepted and allowed oneself to participate within and as the Desire to Save.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to want to LIVE out the fantasy of a princess that is being saved by prince charming and accordingly, had set the scenes, preparing myself so completely with accessing all the agony and sadness that comes with it and I haven't seen, realized and understood how this fantasy was created through imprinting the fairy tales story into me, already from the childhood years, believing that this should be my story and therefore, became the character of my own life, to stand in alignment with the fantasy scene that I was busy building up where all along, the one point that kept me going was HOPE that my Love Story would end up like in the Movies = happily ever after.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to get in a relationship from the starting point of the desire of being saved and I haven't seen, realized and understood the consequences of starting a relationship from a desire to be saved wherein, once I change my the dynamic within the relationship where I no longer need to be saved as I already experienced that LOVE and already got the guy, the relationship can no longer stand since it was no more in alignment with the desire of wanting to be saved as wanting to save.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to manipulate guys through my own desire to be saved, through presenting myself as Sad and within that, to open a door for the guy, to access his own design of being the saviour so that we could both play the game and live happily ever after.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to manipulate myself through deliberately become the sadness character - always seeking for Drama, for a story that I would then utilize to manipulate the guys that are carrying the Design of a saviour and within my own self manipulation, I became to know me as Sad and accepted the sadness as me, not seeing, realizing and understanding that becoming sad was my own deliberate decision that I've accepted and allowed myself to stand as and I haven't seen how powerful I am within my own creation of sadness, as I've also created the forgetfulness that I was the one who decided to create myself as sadness as a manipulative action to attract a guy.

 

For male's perspective regarding the design of wanting to save a girl - suggest reading Fidelis's Journey to Life - Day 65 - Also Attracted to Broken Girls Part 2 

 

I Commit myself to show how a child is creating a fantasy in one's mind, in the first 7 years of one's life and accordingly, would slowly but surely, start playing the character role that one had put forth to oneself without seeing, realizing and understanding the consequential outflows that one is creating within the acceptance and allowance of oneself to participate in one's desires that one would design oneself as throughout one's life.

 

I Commit myself to remind myself that I am always the ONE who decide and what ever I created myself as, I also created the forgetfulness of becoming my own creation so that I would never find out that I've created myself as such and accordingly change.

 

I Commit myself to Expose the Design of the Saviour and being Saved that human beings are participating in our journey to find the ONE, the LOVE and within that, SHOW the relationship between the Design and the Media.

 

I Commit myself to be attentive to how my Mode is changing when and as I meet a guy and within that, make sure that I'm not accessing the design of being saved where I would manipulate myself into becoming sad to draw attention within the Hope that the guy would play along and carry the Saviour character.