They are Better than me, I'm so fucked up - Day 95

This is a continuation to the Blog post:

The Self Diminishment Character - Day 94

 

Within this Blog, I will Walk the Process of Self Forgiveness:

 

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand how and why I've created myself within and as the Self Diminishment Character as a data base for multiple Characters that I can choose from that will suit me the best in every given moment to serve One purpose only - My own Self Interest within and as a desire for an experience, either Positive or Negative.

 

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see how I've created the Diminishment character within and as myself through an idea that I've created in my mind of who and what I should be in any given moment and as long as the picture/idea in my mind doesn't match the physical reality, I will not be satisfied with myself and within that, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that my own dissatisfaction from myself is through comparing myself to the idea/picture in my mind through projecting the idea/picture onto other people in my environment wherein through those people, I will activate the Cycle where I access self diminishment through first becoming Jealousy, then spiteful in finding fault in them, move to elevate myself for a moment until I go back to comparison, self diminishment, jealousy, spitefulness and the cycle continue. Thus, I commit myself to when and as I see myself accessing the comparison towards another human being, to sustain the idea/picture I hold within myself in my mind, to STOP, Breathe, and to not accept and allow myself to follow the back chat, move through the character, delete the idea/picture that I have about myself in my mind and Stand Here, as who I am, as Life that is here.

 

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself see and realize how I've manifested the Diminishment character wherein I will first create and idea as picture in my mind of who and what I should become and who and what I see myself within my world and my environment; when a being in my environment challenge my perception of myself as the idea/picture in my mind, I immediately access comparison and competition with that person, not seeing, realizing and understanding that this being is standing as a mirror of my own comparison toward myself to the idea/picture I have about myself in my mind. and thus, because I haven't realized that I'm comparing myself to myself and I believe that it is all about the other person, I access jealousy; when and as I'm in this LOW and NEGATIVE energy charge, I will seek for ways to balance that emotions and elevate myself through finding faults within and as the other human being based on past memories that I hold onto them for that exact moment where I could use the memory against them, to create a positive feeling. But than, as I push myself to find the fault, there is a voice within and as me that remind me that I have failed an thus a failure, how wrong and unworthy I am and so - I go back to the Negative emotional charge but of course, I will not allow myself to stay there and I'll keep on looking for faults in the other being so that I can access the positive energetic charge again until… the experience of "I'm so bad, I'm unworthy, they are better than me" is in complete possession and I've absolute integrated with and as the diminishment character.

 

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that for the Self Diminishment Character to Exists, the Comparison and Competition Character must Exist and I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realize that I've been missing a critical point all along - Instead of comparing and competing with other beings in my world and my reality, I'm able to expand and grow myself through Learning from other people within the understanding that in order to develop the skills that those whom I compare myself with has, I require to walk a time Line in space/time physical reality. Within that, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to create my self existence within and as the Diminishment Character and within that, enslaved and trapped myself within and as a infinite cycle where I will never see, realize and understand Who I am and my utmost potential as a Physical Living Human Being as I was busy comparing myself to others, not giving myself the possibility to in fact expand and grow myself through others that are standing as an example of who I am able to be and become within and as the principle of Oneness and Equality.

 

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that so long as I give myself the permission to diminish myself within and as my mind and within that, not accepting and allowing myself to grow and expand myself as a Physical Living Human being, I will remain trapped within and as my own mind not ever be able to step out of my mind as I'll be busy judging myself and be hard on myself and never in fact change.

 

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize the cycle of Self Sabotage that I've created within and as the Self Diminishment Character wherein, instead of standing within and as a principle of Oneness and Equality and learn from the people in my environment, that have proven that change is possible through a decision that that they have made to assist and support themselves to step out of their character and become LIFE that is best for all, I had allowed myself to compare myself to them within the attempt to WIN my validation, gratification and glorification without ever realizing that I can Never be more than who I am, I can never be More than who others are and that within and as this game/movie that we have created within and as a decision that we have made very long time ago to trap ourselves for eternity to and as our mind, the only solution is to wake us all up, stand together in Equality and Oneness and change who and what we have become according to ONE principle - that which is best for all within which, we'll stand up together and change our creation to and as LIFE that is Equally best for all.

Experience as self Brainwashing - Day 64

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see, realize or understand the God within each and every relationship that I have - either with myself and with each other - The God that is me, as the Energy as the creator of Experience, within which is all based on one thing only - the self interest desire for a specific reward from the experience within and as myself and each other; I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to have refused to see the basic structure of any relationship - energetic relationship of give and take feelings and emotions as a desired experience instead of Giving LIFE to receive LIFE that is best for all, practically and physically as the guiding of all and any relationship that exists within ourselves and each other.

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand how I've created relationships in my life, based on expected experience that I yearn to receive from the relationship and how within it, I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to create and establish relationships that are based on Equality, relationships that Support Life that is best for all as a guideline principle.

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize how I've been brainwashed to establish a specific types of relationships that will give me a specific type of Experience, by those who have come before me as well as through the various kind of Media and how within my acceptance of the desired experience, the energy reward became my directive principle within the relationships creation and I have in no way had a free will within my decisions and I had simply followed my mind as my self interest desire for energy rewards from the relationship experience.

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see how I've sabotaged, limited and compromised myself within and through my self interest desire for an experience from the relationships in my life wherein, if I didn't get the positive energetic charge that I yearn to, I took the back door and ran after a new relationship creation and if I did get my energetic reward, I completely lost myself within the experience to the extent to which I've blinded myself to deliberately not see how beside energy charge, there is no support structure within the relationship that will allow me and my partner to practically grow and expand ourselves within and as the principle of that which is best for all, and to physically step out of our mind and walk into the Physical equality and oneness.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to - when seeing a prospective partner, to assess whether one can provide me with a positive energetic reward instead of practically getting to know the being, getting to know myself as the being and from there, make an informative decisions that are based on the assessment of whether or not there is a possibility that the partner can walk equal and one with me within this ONE life time so that together, we can assist and support each other within our processes, grow and expand ourselves to be and become effective human being in this world that will direct, move and lead this world towards a world that is best for all.

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to get to know myself and my prospective partner within our relationship creation and within that, establish an effective and intimate relationship with myself as well as my partner as myself because I was seeking for the feeling experience that I believed to come with the relationship and I was willing to ignore all the red flags that were shining to bright within the faith and hope that I will get my positive energetic experience which I've defined as LOVE.

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that LOVE is an energetic experience and in no way a physical expression of equality and oneness that is best for all and within that, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed my life to be oriented towards the experience of LOVE within the desire to get a positive energetic reward from external force that is separated from me to the extent to which I've blindly follow my feelings instead of remaining here, breath by breath and walk decisions that are based only on ONE principle - best for all.

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see how the LOVE experience is deception wherein, we walk and move ourselves within a constant seek for the LOVE experience as a self interest desire and while we do so, we disregard everything and everyone that do not gives up the energetic experience of LOVE and thus, we have accepted and allowed the majority of this world to exists within and as a constant battle, fear, abuse and suffering because we didn't feel LOVE towards them and thus, can conveniently ignore them and let them be so long as we have what we need, we have LOVE or a potential to receive LOVE.

I commit myself to stop the sucking demonized Godly me that is strives for energetic experience of reward as emotions and feelings within any given relationship and to thus then, establish a supportive relationship with myself, align myself to who I am as a physical breath to breath being, within which I will stand in absolute self honesty within all my relationships in existence as a whole to so together, walk according to the guideline- Give that which you'd Life to receive = Give LIFE to Receive LIFE that is best for all.

I commit myself to align my relationships to a guideline of that which is best for all and within that not accept anything that is less than that. I see, realize and understand how the relationship creation was establish from one singular starting point as self interest desire for an energetic experience and thus, within and as the self interest desire for an experience within the relationship creation, we have abdicated our responsibility to Give life to be able to receive LIFE that is best for all and have thus, manifested a world that is based on the survival of the individuals instead of LIFE of ALL in dignity, abundances and joy.

I commit myself to show how we have been trained to create relationships that are based on experience of the self interest individuals, generation after generation; experience that charged our energy within and as ourselves as the inherit belief of its being LIFE. Within that, I commit myself to support the educational program developments, to educate the humans to stop feeding of each other within energetic experiences of relationships and to instead establish relationships that are being practically lived within and as the principle of that which is best for all LIVES in Oneness and Equality.

I commit myself to show how limited is one's expression, self grow and expansion in this world within the current relationships manifestation and how in fact, the relationships that are being walked today were deliberately designed to control, enslave and direct the beings into one's own little bubble in one's mind so that one could remain preoccupied within one's mind and to never in fact, take the step of questioning one's reality, this world and accordingly, stand up within self, become the change, the example and walk towards the creation of a world that is best for all within and as the establishment/creation of interdependent relationships that form LIFE.

I commit myself to stop my mind as the desire for energetic experience to influence my decisions and to take my power away back to myself, assess all the various points that reveal themselves here and thus, make informative decisions that are based on the ONE principle - LIFE that is best for all.

I commit myself to show, expose and reveal the truth about LOVE and how, everything is in reveres wherein - LOVE is EVOL where the oneness and equality of the letter 'O' is not being LIVED as LOVE that is best for all and instead, the 'I', the self interest 'I' is that which makes LOVE EVIL as a direct reflection to how this world is currently manifested.

I commit myself to stand as an Example of LOVE that is best for all within my breath by breath self application of the ONE principle - best for all LIFE and thus, I move and direct myself according to what is necessary to be done in order to create, manifest and establish a world that is best for all in fact as the ultimate expression of LOVE - Love your neighbour as thyself.

For more support -

The Death of Experience - Day 58
http://mayaprocess.blogspot.com/2012/06/death-of-experience-as-me-part-1-day-58.html
Memory makes me Robot - Day 59
http://mayaprocess.blogspot.com/2012/06/memory-makes-me-robot-day-59.html
Trusting my experience - Day 63
http://mayaprocess.blogspot.com/2012/06/trusting-my-experience-overview-day-63.html

Trusting my experience - Day 63

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to trust my past memory experience within the belief that the past experience will repeat itself and according to the energetic charge that I've defined the experience as, I will either feel excitement (if the charge is Positive) or I will feel anxiety/fear (if the charge is negative) and I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that so long as I trust the experience and define Who I am as the experience, I am not living LIFE but rather living my perception of LIFE that is limited to the extent to how I've separated myself from myself and this world as a whole.

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize how limiting it is to only defined myself according to a few feelings/emotions as a reflection to how I've defined the energetic charge such as: excitement or Anxiety/fear as positive and negative respectively, is just a minute and limited expression of who I am as LIFE within and as myself.

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that so long as I give permission to my mind to tell me how to experience any given moment according to the energetic charge of either positive or negative within and as a past memory experience, I'm not in fact LIVING.

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that by holding onto the past memory experiences within an energetic charge, Positive or Negative, I'm limiting my moment to moment living self expression as who I am and within that, not accepting and allowing myself to Physically LIVE so long as I bound-to and prisoning myself within my own self created past memory experiences that control, enslave and direct my expression as Who I am.

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize how the energetic movement within and as my human physical body changes and alters according to the memory experience that I've associated to any given moment meaning - if I experience positive energetic charge within me, there is a memory that is associated to the point I'm facing, a memory experience that I've defined as positive and if I experience a negative energetic charge within me, there is a memory that is associated to the point that I'm facing which I've defined as negative.

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see how within my self, I trust that the a future experience  that I'm expecting to have will manifest exactly as I imagine/plan it to be and within that, not giving myself the permission to practically live as I leave a very small space to experience a real and physical experience than what I wish to experience as a self interest desire and thus, if things go well as expected, I will be satisfied and if something will go 'wrong' I will become frustrated and start to manipulate myself and my environment in the attempt to reach the experience that I've yarn for from the get-go.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to attempt and control an experience within any given moment without seeing, realizing or understanding all the relationships that are involved within my desire for an experience and within that, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that what I'm essentially trying to control is the relationships in my life through shaping, molding and manipulate the beings involved so that I could have my self interest experience manifest according to how I want to experience it and thus they must submit to my wants and needs and provide me with their presence MY experience and if they failed to give me what I want, I will end the relationship and start seeking after for the next relationship that will give me the experience that I'm looking/desiring for.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to trust the emotions/feelings within any given experience and I haven't seen the relationship between the experience and the energetic charge that is aligned/attached/connected with the experience and within that, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize how limited my expression is within any given moment through me attaching/aligning each and every moment to a past memory experience that I have defined within and as energetic charge, either positive or negative and accordingly, move and direct myself as the experience instead of walking breath by breath, here, and letting go energetic experience connection after connection until it is done.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to have refused to give-up my trust in a mind energetic experience and to instead, establish self trust that is based on a practical physical realty within my breath by breath living application.

I commit myself to be attentive to any single energy movement within and as my human physical body - Positive and Negative and to investigate the origin/source/core of the energy movement as I see, realize and understand that any energetic movement is in direct relationship to an experience that I've defined myself according to, that is limiting my self living expression within and as the physical reality.

I commit myself to investigate each and every energetic experience that I've programmed myself throughout my life to define myself as and respectively, stop my participation within and as energy, Positive and Negative within a breath by breath process, until it's done and I'm absolutely aligned to the physical that consist of and exists as all that is here in oneness and equality.

I commit myself and give permission to myself to LIVE as who I am within and as my self expression and to stop dictating my life according to experience that I dearly trusted thus far and to instead, establish absolute self trust within and as myself in any given moment.

I commit myself to walk memory experience by memory experience within a process of self forgiveness in self honesty and to delete all association/definitions/connections that I've accepted and allowed within and as myself because I see, realize and understand that so long as I accept and allow the experience to tell me who I am and within that, abdicated my responsibility to move and direct myself breathe by breathe, I'm not in fact LIVING life that is best for all but rather attempt and try to live the LIFE that is best for me in absolute inconsideration to everything and everyone.

I commit myself to stop direct and move myself according to an expected experience and within that, stop existing within a polarity that is defined according to the velocity of the energetic charged that I've charged myself with.

I commit myself to face within myself, in writing the experiences that I've defined within a negative charge and have thus, tried to avoid and suppress the experience so that I won't have to face, investigate, correct and change because I see and realize that so long as I allow myself to avoid and suppress, I'm not in fact that directive principle of myself and my world as I'm bound to how the mind direct me, in separation of me.

Art Design – Sally Wiseman

Memories - From the Smaller to the Greater - Day 34

Life Review - How I ruined my Life with a Memory

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to hold onto and contain an emotional charge within a past Memory and within that, have accepted and allowed myself to move and direct myself according to the memory without my awareness of doing so which then thus I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to be directed, control and enslaved to a past memory and I haven't allowed myself be the directive principle breath by breath.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to compromise myself and others in my world because I've reacted to a point in my immediate environment and instead of directing that which was required to be directed, I've access the memory from my past that was charged with Negative Energy and I acted from the other side of the polarity by doing the opposite from what I've done in the past within the belief that it's the correction however, I've failed to see that going from one side of the polarity to the other isn't a physical correction in fact but rather a self manipulation that is control by the Ego which saying to me - "you are doing the right thing, you don't need to correct yourself now".

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to compromise a being in my direct environment as well as myself because a pattern that they have accepted as themselves played out reminded me a memory from my past where a similar pattern played out by another being which manifested anger and irritation within me and I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to  face my past and walking the correction of STOPing the back chat, anger and irritation and remain in breath and when it's done, assisting and supporting the other being with seeing their acceptance pattern so that they could face themselves and accordingly change.

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see the consequences of holding onto a memory from my past that contained energetic charge wherein, not only I've sabotaged and compromised myself, I've compromised other being in my direct environment because I refused to see that if I'm not correcting and changing myself according to principles that are best for all, I'm not standing as a support for others beings in my world and then thus, prolonging the existential process for everyone else.

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to give value to the small and minuet memories that I hold on to within the containment of Energetic charge which than, I live out the past memory design without being aware of it and within that, giving the permission to be enslaved and control by my mind instead of taking the responsibility to walk through each and every memory, from the small to the greater, correct myself and change.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to Refuse to see that small and minuet memories accumulate to a daily application of walking the memory design with no awareness of self as self abdicated the responsibility to be the directive principle by giving the mind the permission to control, enslave and direct self.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to have failed to see and realize that if I allow myself to walk the past memory design in my day to day application, I'm not giving me the permission to change as I've abdicated the responsibility to walk breath by breath as the directive principle and within that, haven't taken responsibility for the existence as a whole because unless I'm standing up within absolute self change and thus standing as an example and as a pillar of support for others, I'm useless in this world.

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that to change ourselves, we have to change all the minute parts of ourselves because those tiny parts accumulate and become a fatal virus in our mind and as within, so without - I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see the basic common sense - when we neglect the small parts of ourselves within the definition that they are insignificant we allow the fatal virus in the world system where we allowed an accumulation of many insignificant part that are not being sorted out and thus, manifested a world where the majority is not being considered as they defined as insignificant which created a fatal virus which called the human civilization.

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see the relationship between our mind and the world system wherein, exactly as we ignore the small parts of ourselves in separation of ourselves and thus have allowed ourselves to be controlled and enslaved to our mind, we, as small individual has not realized that the accumulation of the relationships between us all has manifested the greater - the current money system of abuse and suffering for the majority of this world and thus, to bring about a change in this world, we must take individual responsibility  and group together in equality and oneness to manifest a world that is best for all the individual parts equally.

(For more Context, please read - "The Chicken or the Egg?? Part One: DAY 30"

I commit myself to investigate ALL the parts of myself that has accumulate to various networks designs within me and to become the directive principle in breath by breath because I realize that when I allow parts of myself which I've separated myself from, I'm giving the permission for myself to be controlled and enslaved by patterns and memories which is Unacceptable.

I commit myself to become aware and attentive to the trigger points I'm automatically acting on during my days and investigate the entire time line till I'll be satisfied that I'm no longer enslaved and control to my past and I'm in fact the directive principle within each and every single breath.

I commit myself to sort out all the minute parts of myself because I realize that those minute parts accumulate to a fatal virus in my mind and I realize the for changing myself, I have to take into consideration all the parts of myself that I've separated myself from and bring it all here, equal and one and sort myself out part by part in breath by breath.

I commit myself to stand up and bring every single reaction that I have towards pattern that another accepted as themselves, back to myself because unless I sort myself out, I'm a useless support for others and thus, the change of this world will take longer because I haven't taken the responsibility to change myself first.

I commit myself to stand as an example of what does it takes to correct and change all the parts of myself that I've separated myself from through my writings.

I commit myself to bring all the parts of me together in alignment to and as that which is best for all.

I commit myself to educate and show to humanity that to change the world, all the minute parts must stand together  in equality and oneness.

I commit myself to stand and bring all the parts of me as individual human beings together within the alignment of what is best for all and together, we will take the first step of establishing a system that is best for all - Equal Money System - Equal Life System. 

Also read - Day 33: Peace of Mind – Mind in Pieces

How to Choose a Partner – Day 21

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to when considering a prospective partner to participate with the back chat: “I hope my family will accept him” to exist within and as me.

I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to see that the thought: “I hope my family will accept him” influenced my decisions as well as I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to base my decisions on the fear that my family won’t approve my partner without getting to know the person and see if there is a potential for a supportive and effective relationship/agreement.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to compromise myself within that relationships that I’ve had because I made a decision of being with a partner based on whether or not my family will approve him instead of getting to know the person and making the decision based on common sense principle that I’ve set up for myself in relation to what agreement/relationship do I want for myself from the starting point of what is best for ME within the process that I’ve walking.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to when seeing a prospective partner, judge him according to his physical body appearance instead basing the decision according to guidelines that I’ve set up for myself in relation to the agreement/relationship that I would like to walk with another human being.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to connect the prospective body appearance to the back chat – “ I hope my family will approve him” in separation of me and accordingly, make a decision to walk or not to walk an agreement/relationship with the prospective partner despite of the fact that I didn’t even take the time to get to know the being and see for myself if there is a potential to establish an effective and supportive agreement/relationship with the being.

I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to get to know beings that do not stand according to the relationship profile that I’ve created in my mind and within that, I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to see that I’m limiting myself to such an extent through giving value to how the prospective partner would look like instead of taking the time to get to know the being and see whether there is a potential for us to align ourselves to and as one’s process.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to have a judgement day picture in my mind wherein I bring the partner home for dinner and according to that, assessing whether or not this person has a potential to be with me and within that, I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to hold on to a judgement day picture in my mind where my partner meet my family and through that assumption/judgement, I’m making a limited decision with regards to the being in relation to whether or not we could walk an agreement/relationship together.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to be influenced by my own judgement of the prospective partner through projecting it onto my family because I’ve not accepted and allowed myself to respect myself enough to actually get to know the person and make a decision from .

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to use the beings that won’t fit to the family picture profile that I have in my mind only for sex and I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to take a moment and get to know them because from the get go, I didn’t think there is a chance for the relationship/agreement according to the family profile picture that I’ve hold in my mind

I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to walk into an agreement/relationship for ME but instead, tried to restore my relationship with my family through a partner that will fit into the family profile picture and with doing so, I’ve accepted and allowed myself to sabotage, compromise and abuse myself through making decisions that has nothing to do with WHO the person is and Who I am within the agreement/relationship.

I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to see how I’ve sabotaged and abused myself within my relationship with males because I haven’t taken a moment to get to know them and see whether or not there is a potential for us to align ourselves to each other within our processes because my starting point was to have a partner that will fit with the family profile picture and thus, when someone fit the family profile picture, I’ve blinded my eyes and I didn’t see the obvious signs when the partner was not align with me and the process that I’m busy walking.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to establish relationship with males that I knew that the relationship won’t last and within that, felt superior within myself through the experience of spiting and rebelling to what i perceived to be expected of me without realizing that the only person whom I spiting against is myself through the accepted and allowed relationships in my life that are in no way a form of support.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to go deliberately into relationships that won’t last because I wanted to spite and rebel my upbringing without considering that the only person whom I spite and dishonour is myself.

I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to see that I’m spiting myself when I’m making a decision to spite my family and within that, I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to make a decision based on spitefulness in relation to my prospective partner instead of walking a decision that is based on common sense principles that I’ve set up for myself in relation to how I would like to walk an agreement with another from the starting point of support to myself and my process that I’m busy walking.

I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to walk into relationship/agreement with partners who have money because when I did go out with rich guys, I felt inferior, unworthy and not in their league and I didn’t want to spend the rest of my life within that experience. Within that, I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to be open about my experience in relation to money to be able to face and correct the experience and thus then, come to an agreement with my partner in relation to money and instead, I ran away from myself and my partner before I even got to know him and see whether or not we can establish and develop an effective and supporting agreement/relationship.

I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to see the relationship between money and relationships  wherein, when my partner has more money than me, I believe I cannot control him and thus, will always be in a position of inferior, attempting to please and validate myself to him, to sustain our relationship and within that, I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to even consider establishing an agreement that is based on 2 equals walking their process where no one is controlling anyone but vice versa, assist and support each other to face and correct our self interest existence that we have become as well as expanding ourselves within the process of stepping out of the mind and stepping into ourselves as the physical equality and oneness reality.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to NOT go into a relationship/agreement with partners who have money because I felt ashamed that I can’t afford that which they can and I didn’t want to be feel inferior within the relationship. Within that, I forgive myself that I’ve not accepted and allowed myself to be open and communicate the money point with my partners and thus, get to an agreement of how we will walk our relationship/agreement in relation to money.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to fear getting hurt again due to a failed relationship and thus, I’ve made a decision to never engage to an agreement/relationship where I could get hurt and thus, I made sure to not place myself in a vulnerable position and only went for superficial relationship as well as to unavailable partners, not even considering how I’m abusing and sabotaging myself within it and also, not considering taking a moment and sort myself out, to be able to walk an effective relationship/agreement with myself and with others.

I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to see that getting hurt due to a failed relationship was my own self creation which I’ve accepted and allowed because I didn’t have the tools to assist and support me with practical common sense application and thus, I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to live in a world where the most important education isn’t in place and beings are being occupied in their mind with self pity, self sorrow and so on, and within that, abdicated the responsibility to assist and support themselves to step out of their mind, establish themselves in the physical equality and oneness reality and thus, creating a world that is best for all.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to make decision of not getting in the position of being vulnerable and intimate with any partner so that I won’t have to go through the hell that I’ve experienced after a failed relationship and thus, accepted and allowed myself to sabotage, compromise and abuse myself within the belief that I can use sex to overcome the self sorrow, depression and self pity, despite of the fact that it didn’t assist and support me in anyway but only increased the emptiness that I’ve experienced within myself, because I did not had the tools to assist and support myself with stepping out of the emotional body that I’ve allowed myself to exists as and within that, I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed a world where beings are subjected to their self creation mind design in total separation of themselves because we haven’t establish an effective education system that will allow everyone to face their acceptance and allowances which from there, we can take the responsibility to assist and support ourselves and other and together, establish a world that is best for all.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to use and abuse males for sex because of a self belief that I could feel good and better about myself and hide and suppress the depression that I’ve experience after a failed relationship and within that, I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to utilize sex as a physical self support and instead, tried and attempted to “fix” myself through having sex with males that I don’t have intimate relationship/agreement with despite the fact that I was never “fixed” and thus, accepted and allowed myself the cycle of abuse of myself and others without any practical corrective application.

I commit myself to stop making decisions according to a family profile picture that I’ve created in my mind and to assist and support me with creating a practical guideline for a decision making with regards to a prospective partner so that when and as I see anyone that is not standing according to the guideline that I’ve set up for myself, I will not manipulate myself an fall into the pattern of making decisions that are not based on self support but rather self sabotage abuse and compromise.

 I commit myself to walk and LIVE my own life within the starting point of self support principle of what is best for all.

I commit myself to embrace and respect myself and within that, establish an effective agreement with myself to NOT fall into the trap of self manipulation patterns of abuse and sabotage and in that, stand up, as who I am within everything that I do, and thus, not accepting anything that is less than me as well as from my prospective partner.

I commit myself to walk an agreement with a partner that respect himself enough to assist and support himself to step out of his mind in alignment with the process that I’m busy walking and thus, I will cross reference and investigate his application before making the decision to walk an agreement with him, to make sure that the decision is based on a real and trust worthy self support application.

I commit myself to get to know the prospective partner before making any decision of walking an agreement with him, to see if there is an actual potential that we can be aligned within ourselves and our processes.

I commit myself to Stop using sex to manipulate myself and others and to only utilize sex as a self physical support when and as I’m walking an agreement with another where intimacy and comfortably with each other is established.

Fixing the problem by avoiding the real issue – Day 6

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allow myself to avoid sorting out the point that I’m facing through doing an act to cover up the fact that I have an issue with a certain point which I haven’t accepted as myself and within that, I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to suppress and separate myself from myself by not immediately face myself but instead run away from myself and making excuses for myself that I’m alright with the ‘solution’ that I’ve found for myself.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to – instead of sorting out a point within me that I’ve not yet aligned myself to, I allowed myself to hide and suppressed myself into finding an alternate ‘solution’ and despite the fact that I’ve time looped the same point time after time I continued suppressing and hiding from myself because I’ve not accepted and allowed myself to actually stand up in self responsibility and take my power away through become the directive principle of myself and my world within a commitment to myself that I will not stop supporting myself to see that which I’ve become, that which I’ve suppressed and that which I’ve tried to hide, until I face all that is me, correct and change.

I forgive myself that I’ve not accepted and allowed myself to realize that until I face that which I’ve created in separation of myself, I will time loop and miss a chance to change and become the directive principle of myself and my world.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to think that if I found a temporary solution to a point that I’m facing then everything will be OK instead of realizing that within that decision, I’ve made a statement that I’m not worthy enough to become a living being that walk in every moment according to principle that is best for all because I didn’t respect myself in that moment and actually assisted and supporting me to sort out myself and my world.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed a world where we all see that there is a problem and instead of sorting it out, we try/attempt to hide and suppress through establishing charities and aid program despite of the physical evidence that those foundation didn’t stand the test of time.

I forgive myself for NOT accepting and allowing myself to see that avoiding the problem doesn’t make the problem go away and a practical solution must be walked into correction.

I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to see that if I accept and allow a quick fix to cover up the real point that I’m facing, I’m actually suppressing and compromised myself and within that, I forgive myself that I’ve NOT seen that a quick fix isn’t the solution for this world and that we require a substantial solution that will last the test of time but instead, I gave a positive value to charities and aid programs  without seeing that the core/source problem still remain.

I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to see that while I’m accepting quick fix instead of facing the core/source problem with a practical and physical solution, I’m accepting the lengthiness of the suffering of the majority of this world

I commit myself to stop postponing the inevitable of facing myself and sort out myself point by point, step by step until it is done.

I commit myself to do whatever is necessary to be done in order to bring about a substantial solution that is best for all lives and I will not accept and allow any short cuts, quick fix, and I will walk that which I’ve allowed as individual and as existence, into correction until a world that is best for all will be practically established.

Limitation according to body appearance – Day 5

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed the pattern of comparing self to other beings body appearance and in doing so, we’ve given value to a picture presentation in total separation from who we are and within that, I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed the definition of beings according to their body appearance instead of realizing that we are all equals in terms of – we all have the same skeleton, we all automatically breathing, we all require food to sustain our human physical body and etc. but we’ve separated ourselves from our human physical body through focusing only on one point as physical appearance and disregarding the obvious – the Equality and Oneness of and as the physical.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed the separation of ourselves from our human physical body through giving value to body appearance and accordingly judge either positively or negatively human beings as well as ourselves and thus, created a separate personalities of and as ourselves according to ideas that we’ve created in relation to where we are on the polarity scale: Beauty/ugly, Thin/Fat, Tall/Short and etc.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed fear of being judged according to body appearance because I know that I’m doing the same – allowing evil thoughts and judgement towards others to exits within me and instead of facing and seeing the evil that is me, I diverted my attention to making sure that I won’t fuel people’s judgement towards me by suppressing my expression.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed the definition of human beings according to their body appearance that is based on a polarity and thus, missed the obvious – The Equality and Oneness that the Human physical body stand as an example wherein, The system in the body do not judge/compare/define its body parts according to polarity design but rather, distribute equally the blood, the enzyme and the molecule according to what is necessary to be done to sustain the human body in the upmost sufficient and effective way.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed eating disorder in this world through participating in the value system of the body appearance because I have NOT realized that as long as we define ourselves according to a body appearance and live our lives as a personality that we’ve created in relationship with the body appearance, we’ve silently accepted and allowed the manifested consequences of beings that develop eating disorder.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed eating disorder in this world because I didn’t stand up and expose the imprinting and brainwashing of beings through the media as well as NOT realizing the starting point of the brainwashing of those who control the media which is MONEY and PROFIT because I myself was occupied in my mind through living out the definition of myself in relation to the body appearance in comparison to other beings and in that, abdicating the responsibility of seeing what the fuck we are doing to ourselves, how we abuse and sabotage ourselves and our human physical body through accepting the polarity design in relation to the body appearance to control, enslave and limit ourselves.

I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed the human physical body to be my directive principle as it is works and functions according to principle of oneness and equality and instead, I’ve accepted and allowed the abuse of the human physical body by participating in the polarity design of body appearance through comparison, judgement and jealousy because this is what I’ve picked up from my environment and the media which I’ve blindly accepted to by my directive principle.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed the pattern of jealousy trough comparison in relation to one’s body appearance instead of realizing that jealousy and comparison through accepting the participation with comparison/judgement and jealousy, we occupied within our mind in separation from ourselves and others so that we won’t have to face ourselves, correct and change because we have accepted and allowed the fear of change to enslave, control, limit and direct us.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed the world system to be defined by polarities exactly as I’ve defined myself according to Polarities as for example, the comparison and judgement of the human physical body according to its appearance instead of see and realizing the Equality and Oneness that the body is function and exists as but because I’ve not taken the responsibility to face and correct the relationship that I’ve created with the human physical body in separation of me, I’ve also accepted and allowed the relationships in the world system to exists in separation and in that, allowed the world to be and become a world that is in NO way, a world that is best for all.

I commit myself to stop the participation of comparison, judgement and jealousy towards myself and others, in relation to body appearance. I realize that we are all equally the same but only attached and defined ourselves according to separated picture presentation and in that, we have abused and sabotage ourselves, our world and our human physical body. When and as I see myself accessing comparison and jealousy, I stop and I breathe. I bring myself back to my human physical body and do not accept and allow the continuation of the back chat. I see what in that moment I’ve missed and or tried to suppress and where am I not align yet to myself where I feel that I’m lacking and others are perfect.

I commit myself to re-lived my childhood through the realization that I’ve not lived as who I am as the physical, but rather limited and compromise myself and my expression to fit into the ideas that I’ve created about myself and for myself. When and as I see that I’m compromising and emotions of ashamedness are coming up, I immediately direct and move myself in the physical, within breath.

I commit myself to face who I am within all the polarities designs that I’ve accepted as me and correct my living application to stand in every moment of every breathe according to principles of Oneness and Equality