The Correction Process and The Desteni Message (Part 3) - Day 200

 

 

Preprograming Explained

 

This is a continuation to:

The Correction Process and The Desteni Message (Part 1) - Day 198

The Correction Process and The Desteni Message (Part 2) - Day 199

 

Please read this the blog before reading the following blog to make sure you understand the context.

 

 

I remember, as a young child, my parents preference was that  I wouldn't be exposed to the 9 o'clock News playing on TV. They Preferred that by then, I would already be asleep and wouldn't have to face the 'Grown-ups' reality, news reports about War, Crime, Child abuse, a woman being Raped, a neighbour being Killed etc.

From their point of view, they believed they are protecting me from this world and what this world has to offer and wished they could postponed my encounter with the physical reality as much as possible, when I'm prepared to handle the ugly truth.

 

There were nights that I didn't fall asleep by the time the news was on and I could hear pieces of information and it is interesting because when I look at it now, through bringing these memories 'Here' - I can hear specific words  that were Extremely emphasized by the News broadcaster; Words like 'Murder', 'Arabs', 'War', 'Gun', 'Gaza'. And through these words, and how the broadcaster also used specific voice tonality when speaking these words, I literally Experienced Fear within and as myself which from there, every time I heard these words for instance, an experience of Fear emerged from within and as me, unconsciously; and this Memory of me as a child, overhearing the News, knowing that it is not for a child's ears and I'm lying in bed, shit as hell scared in bed, is activated as a picture in my mind that I carry till this day.

 

It is not surprising that as a grown-up, I tried as much as possible to avoid listening to the news and develop complete ignorance regarding History, Politics, Economy as well as world wide events.

 

If we have a look at the Time Line of Events that had formed my relationship to the News, we would be able to see how I've designed and shaped my life (or in other words - Pre-Programmed my life) based on accumulation of Memories as follows:

 

-> Parents do not allow me to watch the news

->-> I don't understand why I cannot stay up and be with my family when they watch the
        news.

->->-> When I asked 'Why', I've been told it is not a show for kids but only for grown ups.

 

-> One night, I couldn't fall asleep

->-> and I went to the living room to be caressed by my parents.

->->-> While walking towards them, I stopped in front of the TV screen

->->->-> because I saw explosion of something and there was grey cloudiness going up from
              the explosion trigger point, up to the sky.

->->->->->I never seen anything like that before

->->->-> the way the news broadcaster speak,

->->->->-> I could tell it was nothing good (Positive) and something bad happen

->->->->->-> So I asked my father what's going on

->->->->->->-> He said to me that I shouldn't watch this, it's grown-up stuff, not for kids.

->->->->->->->-> And he would really appreciate if I won't watch the news.

->->->-> The Experience within me was of so overwhelming and I felt Fear

->->->->-> Because I couldn't understanding what's going on

->->->->->-> and knew that what I was just exposed to was bad (not Positive).

->-> So I went back to my room but still, couldn't fall asleep

->->-> I could still hear some of it from my bedroom.

->->->-> and specifically I could hear Words that I associated with Negative Value

->->->->-> Meaning, the Broadcaster emphasized and used specific tonality when speaking
                  the words: 'Murder', 'Arabs', 'War', 'Gun', 'Gaza'.

->->->->->-> I experienced extensive FEAR within and as me

->->->->->->-> I feared that I might get exploded one day.

 

-> A few years after

->-> When my Younger sister was about the same age I was in the night I described above

->->-> I had a dream

->->->->  that Arab people are in my Sister's kindergarten

->->->->-> and they were shooting everyone that were there.

->->-> After School, I went to my Sister's Kindergarten to make sure she is alright

->->->-> and I would deliberately, from that day, went and checkout if my sister is fine before
              heading home.

 

-> As I grew up

->-> I developed the habit of not watching or reading the news.

->->-> Which result also with feeling inadequate when other people would speak about
            world events and politics.

->->->-> I couldn't commit myself to study the History that lead to our current world wide
              events

->->->->-> because I didn’t want to watch or read the news

->->->->->-> I rather do something Fun instead (Justification)

->->->->->->-> and besides, there is nothing I can do to assist and support the world with

->->->->->->->-> I'll focus on that which will benefit me in MY future.

 

As you can see, the Above timelines show a few of the consequential outflows that had emerged through my perceptual reality, from the night I experienced Fear, for the first time, towards the PICTURE that I've seen on the TV Screen and the WORDS that were spoken by the broadcaster which resonated Negativity as Fear within and as me which then together with my perceptual reality, I created the Experience of FEAR within and as me as MEMORY, when ever I heard words like 'Murder', 'Arabs', 'War', 'Gun', 'Gaza'.

Meaning, my First encounter with the Experience of FEAR as an Experience towards listening/watching the News was part of my programming of how I would direct myself later in my life when specific Words activated the Memory that I carried within and as myself which instantaneously, I accessed the Experience of Fear.

In Other words - Through that Memory that I Stored within and as myself, of the Experience of Fear, when listening/Watching the News, I contributed to my Programming to always react in FEAR when and as I hear the words 'Murder', 'Arabs', 'War', 'Gun', 'Gaza' which manifested the unconscious resistance to watch/listen to the News, later in my life,  where I had believed that it is simply not my preference (as justified to myself within the timeline above) and in that, never realized that I had accepted and allowed myself to completely ignore and deny the News in getting to know what is really going on in this world, Investigate the details, the relationships, the functionality of this world, why it exists as it is, why people are suffering and so on. Because, I've Preprogramed myself to always react in FEAR when what I hear/read/Watch is in alignment to what I had defined as Negative.

It is only in a much much later stage where I started to ask these questions but that was through the assistance and support I had received in investigating the Desteni Message and within that, the Principle of 'Investigate ALL things and keep that which is good for All.

 

In the blog The Correction Process and The Desteni Message (Part 1) - Day 198 I've shown how one create the ‘Experience’ as a positive or negative experience towards the Physical reality’ through the Value one had assigned to what one Perceive reality to be. Within this blog, we went one step further in understanding that the Value one assigns, meaning the positive value or the negative value that one assigns to experiences / memories, towards one’s perception of reality IS how one program’s oneself as the acceptances and allowances of how one perceives this reality to be.

 

The Desteni Message is Parallel to the Experience we have when watching the News for Instance, it is not oriented towards the fulfilment of one's Desire for a Positive Experience as it is not what we have Programmed ourselves to align ourselves with. I Mean, who doesn't have a Negative Experience towards listening to the News? Who like hearing the news about how much corruption and abuse and suffering exists in this world? Who Enjoy listening to it? No One.

Thus, I understand that When reading through the Desteni Material and the Journey to Life, that is being walked by the Desteni Members from all across the world, one may react in a Negative experience because, what is presented is NOT aligned with the Positive Experience we Seek to have, from the perspective of our preferences of what we would like to read, hear and watch. However, our Preference is our Pre-Programmed Design that we have created within and as ourselves, already at childhood, while having no clue of how we have actually created our preferences.

 

However, as I've mentioned in my Previous Blogs - the Desteni Message is neither Positive or Negative - it is about seeing directly reality as what it is, looking at the core/source/origin/Root of the Problems that we are currently experiencing as Humanity and accordingly, Move towards a correction that would result in a best for all outcome.

 

If one have a look, in self honesty, what we present is the actual, real truth of what is going on inside our minds as individual and what is going on in this world as a whole.

For Example:

The Heaven's Journey to Life describe in detail the Existential seeing of the reality beyond and within the Mind and the Physical.

The Earth's Journey to Life walk you through the Various designs/components of the Personalities/characters we have created within and as ourselves, in the most simplistic way that everyone can relate.

The Creation's Journey to Life will guide you, in a process of self education, towards seeing directly the Physical reality as it is, through exposing the Nitty Gritty of our individual and collective acceptance and allowances.

The Activist's journey to Life is a commentary perspective regarding the Daily world's events

The Economist's Journey to Life will guide you through the ins and outs of how our current Economic structure and what is really behinds the Scenes that most people are not aware of.

The Psychologist's Journey to Life specifically shows how One is able and capable in being one's own Psychologist when facing with one's reality and how to practically work with what is Here, in our day to day living application, to self perfection in applying self correction.

 

As you investigate these blogs, the Material Desteni is Providing, you'd noticed, that we are not just showing the problems, we are presenting a solution within a process of correction of all the points that individually and collectively had part in the creation of ourselves and this world as we know it today.

 

Will continue in my next blog.

Coming Down to Earth - Part 1 - Day 165

This is a continuation to:

Walking Breath by Breath - Part 1 - Day 160

Walking Breath by Breath - Part 2 - Day 161

Spiritualizing beings that had Died - Day 162

OMG, I'm so Special because I'm speaking with the Dead - Day 163

Cannot Conceptualize Equality in our Minds - Day 164

 

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to follow the dream I had about my grandfather dying and instead of investigating the nature of the dream, how dreams works and functions, why are we dreaming and what happened to my physical body when I dream, I have blindly interpreted the dream as if I was some kind of special because I could sense my grandfather presences, sense his death and be connected with him while others couldn't and within that, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to abdicate my responsibility to investigate my emotions and feelings, my starting point in accepting and allowing the emotions and feelings as myself, only because it give me some sort of powers, specialness and comfort, to sustain my own self interest desire to be MORE than everyone else.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to trust the dreams without investigating why and how we have dreams, who I am within the dreams and within that, why is it that dreams are existed while I'm sleeping wherein I am not consciously directing and moving myself within and as the dreams but rather, something else is moving and directing the dreams for me and from that perspective, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to take the existence of dreams for granted, as if this is normal because everyone dreams and I haven't taken the time to really investigate the point for myself to see the insanity of having dreams that are not direct and specific for me to utilize as a tool to assist and support myself in realizing myself but rather, accepting and allowing dreams to fuck with my reality, to form opinions and beliefs about is with not actual, physical ground to cross reference that which I perceive myself to understand within and as the dream.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to put so much emphasize regarding dreams and I haven't realized that if I require my mind to analyse and interpret the dreams, than it is best to let it go as I have no reference whether or not the point that I've seen is real or an illusion that I've created in my mind.

Note - 'Real' from the perspective of having physical cross reference as a principle that I accept and allow myself to live as best for all and 'Illusion' from the perspective of utilizing the mind to charge energy that would stand in alignment as my self interest desire for an experience.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to create and establish an illusionary relationship with my grandfather as a coping mechanism to avoid facing my reality and in doing so, I haven't given myself the permission to stand, assist and support myself in directing and moving myself within and as my world and my reality and establishing an effective communication with physical human beings.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to develop and establish an illusionary communication with the dead because it made me feel protected, cared for and loved and I haven't seen, realized and understood that this communication is only happening within and as my mind and for this communication to exists, I must generate energy, enough to sustain my illusionary reality in my mind and therefor, I would go and seek for things that would charge the energy so that I could continue visiting my mind, be able to avoid the real and physical reality and when the energy dissolve and dissipate and accordingly, the communication can no longer exists, I would go and find resources to recharge myself to be able to again, utilize the energy to communicate with the dead.

 

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand the relationship between my mind and the physical wherein, because I couldn't cope with the physical reality or to be more specific, didn't have specific and supportive tools to utilize in facing the physical reality, I found comfort in remaining in my mind, communicating with my dead grandfather, hoping that he would assist and support me in changing the course of my life instead of me, becoming stable within and as myself, standing up in self responsibility and directing myself and my world within and as the principle of that which is best for all.

 

I realize that within the tendency of trying to analyse and interpreted a dream within the starting point of self interest desire to be defined myself as worthy, important, unique and special - the outcome would never be that which is best for all. And thus, I commit myself to - when and as I have a dream which I perceive to be so significant that I must get answers, and I must analyse the dream and find out what does it means - I stop, I breathe and clear myself from the energy possession through breathing and breathing and breathing and till I again stand clear and stable within and as myself.

Once I'm clear and stable within myself, I assess my starting point that initiated/triggered the energy possession of: "I must analyse and understand the dream, I must get answers". As I see within and as myself that the dimension of the character that I've created within myself, I move through all the dimensions.

When that point is clear, I move to the next point in assessing in self honesty whether or not this dream is relevant to that which I'm currently walking/facing/working through and if I could utilize the dream as a tool to assist and support myself in expanding further the points that I'm facing.

In that, I am not accepting and allowing myself to use my mind in the attempt of figuring out what the dreams means as I am only looking at the relevancy in terms of what practically I can assist and support myself within and through the dream.

 

I Commit myself to STOP placing so much value ad emphasize on dreams as if I'm receiving a divine message from the dead as I see, realize and understand that when and as I require my mind in understanding a point, it is no real self realization but most likely another mind fuck that I've accepted and allowed myself to participate with. In this, I extract from the dream only that which is obvious, clear and direct as a tool to assist and support myself in expanding myself. I see, realize and understand that there is nothing divine in dreams but quite to the contrary - when and as I'm not the directive principle in every moment of breath, what do I know? Oh oh, there is a problem, I'm not here and there is something else in separation of me that decides for me how to run my life  while I've been blindly giving my life force power away to be ran by a machine that present pictures, audio, images for me to preoccupy myself in it and in that, to never in fact, stand as the life/source/power, as the directive principle, in every moment of every breath.

 

I Commit myself to Show the relationship between fearing facing the physical reality `and the tendency to develop communication with the after life, as a coping mechanism that one is utilizing to assist and support oneself in avoiding one's reality and access one's mind where it is safe and sound because no one but self can be there.

 

In that, I commit myself to assist and support parents in having the require skills to assist and support their children in being capable and able to face and direct the reality and their mind in their relationship to the physical reality.

Cannot Conceptualize Equality in our Minds - Day 164

This is a continuation to:

Walking Breath by Breath - Part 1 - Day 160

Walking Breath by Breath - Part 2 - Day 161

Spiritualizing beings that had Died - Day 162

OMG, I'm so Special because I'm speaking with the Dead - Day 163

 

 

It is interesting how we give beings power to the extent of complete abdication of self responsibility.  I mean, even with Bernard, I have to keep reminding myself that he is not special and that he is a physical living human beings with no special powers and that the fact of the matter is that what he does, how he speaks how he lives is what is NORMAL however, I couldn't even conceptualized that NORMAL is living by a principle of that which is best for all.

 

I mean none of us have a real understanding of what best for all implies because if we had, we would not accept and allow ourselves to exists within and as an abusive world that is based on one's self interest for one's survival. Seriously, when I come to look at it - How we live, how we act, how we speak, react etc. that is not NORMAL - that is all automated reactions and behaviours that we have accepted and allowed within and as ourselves and it goes to the extent of which we cannot even SEE that Living Here, within and as the physical is what is NORMAL.

 

Like for example, we have defined as normal that our country doesn't really take care of us, that if one doesn't have enough money to invest in their children's education, it's ok, that's life - some times it good and some time it is not.  We have defined as normal that if something goes wrong in the other side of the world, we won't do anything about it because it isn't really bothering us, it is not our loved ones that we need to take care of. we have defined as normal that when  someone needs a kidney implant but one doesn't have money for a kidney, then one would die. We have accepted as normal that when one do not have medical insurance, one wouldn't get medical aid.

 

However, what IS normal is when everyone will get medical aid because they need it. everyone will have food on their table, because they need it. if I go across the world and require assistance or a place to sleep in, it is normal that someone will assisting me and take care of me because they can do that. That is NORMAL - life within equality and oneness is NORMAL but we cannot conceptualized that within our minds because our mind doesn't stand in alignment to that which is best for all. In that, there is nothing magical and powerful in walking as an example of that which is best for all, there is nothing special or powerful in walking with no Mind to direct and move oneself but rather, breath by breath self movement, Here, within and as the physical.

 

An interview that had assisted and supported me in opening up this point further is the Crucifixion of Jesus - Part 10.

 

What I'm seeing is that I've created throughout my life and specifically the spiritual phase was creating symbolism as to who one is when one is stepping out of one's mind. and in that, through spiritualizing the symbolism instead of walking and living as myself, that which was shown to me, I have perpetuated my own separation and in that, have not given myself the permission to practically and physically stand as equal to and one with the being that is walking as an example but instead, had gave the being powers (which I now see as simply Normal living application) within my own desire to be that special when I would also, walk and be done with my process. And being done with my process is also a point of separation because my process will not end until everyone's processes would end. But within me, all I had cared about is my own process, my own glorification within this process as the glorification that I've assign to Sunette and Bernard, my grandfather, Kryon, Guides and Angles.

 

Within this, instead of walking that which is shown to me, in very detailed and specific words, I've created them as something so MORE than me that if I could get it myself, I would be that MORE and others would see me as MORE and everything is but my own desire to always feel and be special; Instead of Practically, slow myself down, Hear and be Here, see their words within and as me and stand as them, equal, in simplicity so that I could assist and support myself and in that, assist and support others and in that - get the fuck out of our minds so that we could start LIVING within and as this physical reality, as NORMALS :-)

 

Ok, More to come.. Tomorrow.

OMG, I'm so Special because I'm speaking with the Dead - Day 163

This is a continuation to:

Walking Breath by Breath - Part 1 - Day 160

Walking Breath by Breath - Part 2 - Day 161

Spiritualizing beings that had Died - Day 162

 

When I had the dream about my grandfather lying on the metal silver bed, with a light on top of him, and I knew that he was dead - what was behind the dream? Where did I ever heard about such experience before, and if I haven't and it had emerged in the very first time, what was this dream all about? What did this dream gave me throughout my life in relationship with my grandfather in particular and all my relationships as a whole? And how through this dream, I've characterized myself from that moment onward?

 

Usually, when we do not understand something, we try to make sense out of it. the only way I could make sense of this dream was as if I've given a sign, as if my connection with my grandfather was so great that I was sensitive enough to see him in his death. In other words - I was special in my ability to sense my grandfather, I had a special relationship with my grandfather, more than anyone else, I was the special one, I was the chosen one, I was the favourite one.

 

Now, this happened long before 1998, when the connection between earth and the dimension was still open and fucking with one's life could easily be done. For more information regarding the relationship between heaven and earth before and after 1998 and before and after the Portal had opened, I suggest listening to the Journeys into the Afterlife interview series. 

What I have not realized until recently, that the dream was preprogrammed so that I could characterize myself as special through having the sensitive abilities which through that, I could remain special in my own mind, in my secret mind and create an illusionary reality that would be the foundation of my later on spiritual phase where I was almost completely fucked up if I wouldn't came across Desteni and could hear their message.

 

So obviously, I didn't question the nature of the Dream and my After Death Communication with my Dead grandfather because this entire experience gave me power, made me feel so absolute Special in comparison to my other family members, which was in essence, my own self interest desire for an experience that I could validate myself through, that I could worthy myself through and that I could empower myself through; only what I haven't realized was that the only thing that I've validated was my own mind, my own pre-programming that I've accepted and allowed myself to exists within and as.

 

Before and after my grandfather had died, the primary experience was of me being special, cared for and loved unconditionally by him and during my life, I was seeking and looking for these character that would give me the experience of being special, cared for and Loved unconditionally. Clearly, I wasn't able to conceptualized that I am here, regardless how others are giving me, or I never conceptualized what does it even means unconditional love and unconditional taken cared for in an existential level.

Later on, I have found more dead to spiritualize in my mind and that was when I became spiritual. All those powers and attributes that I've assign to them, in separation of me, gave me the experience of being so special. I mean, as a spiritual person, hearing the positive words in books and scripts was so powerful and divine. I was really sure that the divine Masters, Guides and Angles are taking care of me, are resonating through me, healing me and others as me. And again, I obviously didn't question their existence because why should I? I was so special in my own mind. it was the only place I could feel so loved and special and having a propose. What is interesting to see now is the polarized realities that I had within my mind where in for moments, I felt so divine and powerful and in the next moment, I was so alone, useless, unworthy and depressed. That in it self raise the question - are we all Schizophrenic in the context of the polarity that we exists as within and as our mind? the only difference is that l Schizophrenic beings had externalized their mind into words while the Normal being have the ability to filter their minds when it comes to speaking.

 

Ok, so I will continue tomorrow with How I've spiritualized Living beings in comparison to the dead. Thanks for reading.

Taking responsibility for my creation - Day 96

This is a continuation to the Blog post:

The Self Diminishment Character - Day 94

They are Better than me, I'm so fucked up - Day 95

I commit myself to show how the starting point of each single character that we have created within and as ourselves serve one purpose only - Self Interest Desire for an experience that only through becoming the character, equal and one, Self is able to gain the experience and within that, disregarding the Life that is here as who Self Is as self is busy bouncing from one character to another according to what suit self the Best in order to survive in any given moment.

I commit myself to show that the cycle of the Self Diminishment Character will work and function in absolute perfection within and as ourselves where we will bounce from a Negative Energy charge to a Positive Energetic charge and back to the Beginning (to the Negative and the Positive to the Negative) where all of which can only exists within and as our permission to Compare ourselves to the Idea/Picture that we have created in our mind of who and what we should have been within the picture, and we will compare ourselves to other people in our lives to make sure that our Self Diminishment and Sabotage cycle will always remain intact and in place. 

I commit myself to kill the Self Diminishment Character within and as myself as I realized that I was the one who decided to create myself as the Self Diminishment character. I realized that to expand and grow myself through the example of others that have walked the time line to develop their skills to be and become an effective human being within themselves and this world, I must stop all participation within and as comparison and competition as those are just more characters that I've created as myself to protect myself as the character that I've become, in self interest, in separation and till here no further.

I commit myself to show that the decision to be and become the self Diminishment character was made by me through my acceptance and allowance of thoughts and back chat to be and  become my directive principle as that was what I was taught by those who have come before me to always protect and defend my own self interest of survival. I see and realize that I was the one who have accepted the teaching and the example of others and have thus accepted the Comparison and competition characters to exists within and as me and thus, I stand here, in full awareness of why and how I've created myself in the nature of self interest to protect my survival of and as characters and from this moment onwards, I commit myself to assist and support myself, by dissecting each and every memory that had led me to the decisions that I've made in absolute separation and ignorance and to thus, assist and support myself to delete the memories by standing equal to and one as the memories, delete them, breath by breath until I'm purified from my own enslavement that I've trapped myself from the beginning and stand up as LIFE that is best for all.

I commit myself to Show that our fight for our self interest Survival within which we will always compare and compete with one another, will never be the solution for the creation that we all as one created and thus, it is the time to stop competing, stop comparing and stand together within the realization that it was always US who have created ourselves and this existence in separation from ourselves and LIFE as ourselves and it will be US who will re-create our Creation as LIFE as Ourselves when we accept and allow ourselves to kill our Characters that we have created in order to trap ourselves within and as our creation because the consequences of the game/movie that we have created is devastating and must be stopped and thus, from here on - the rule of the game must change - Equality and Oneness as what is best for all will and must be our guideline, our principle that we will stand as for eternity, to ensure a LIFE that is in fact best for all.

They are Better than me, I'm so fucked up - Day 95

This is a continuation to the Blog post:

The Self Diminishment Character - Day 94

 

Within this Blog, I will Walk the Process of Self Forgiveness:

 

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand how and why I've created myself within and as the Self Diminishment Character as a data base for multiple Characters that I can choose from that will suit me the best in every given moment to serve One purpose only - My own Self Interest within and as a desire for an experience, either Positive or Negative.

 

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see how I've created the Diminishment character within and as myself through an idea that I've created in my mind of who and what I should be in any given moment and as long as the picture/idea in my mind doesn't match the physical reality, I will not be satisfied with myself and within that, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that my own dissatisfaction from myself is through comparing myself to the idea/picture in my mind through projecting the idea/picture onto other people in my environment wherein through those people, I will activate the Cycle where I access self diminishment through first becoming Jealousy, then spiteful in finding fault in them, move to elevate myself for a moment until I go back to comparison, self diminishment, jealousy, spitefulness and the cycle continue. Thus, I commit myself to when and as I see myself accessing the comparison towards another human being, to sustain the idea/picture I hold within myself in my mind, to STOP, Breathe, and to not accept and allow myself to follow the back chat, move through the character, delete the idea/picture that I have about myself in my mind and Stand Here, as who I am, as Life that is here.

 

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself see and realize how I've manifested the Diminishment character wherein I will first create and idea as picture in my mind of who and what I should become and who and what I see myself within my world and my environment; when a being in my environment challenge my perception of myself as the idea/picture in my mind, I immediately access comparison and competition with that person, not seeing, realizing and understanding that this being is standing as a mirror of my own comparison toward myself to the idea/picture I have about myself in my mind. and thus, because I haven't realized that I'm comparing myself to myself and I believe that it is all about the other person, I access jealousy; when and as I'm in this LOW and NEGATIVE energy charge, I will seek for ways to balance that emotions and elevate myself through finding faults within and as the other human being based on past memories that I hold onto them for that exact moment where I could use the memory against them, to create a positive feeling. But than, as I push myself to find the fault, there is a voice within and as me that remind me that I have failed an thus a failure, how wrong and unworthy I am and so - I go back to the Negative emotional charge but of course, I will not allow myself to stay there and I'll keep on looking for faults in the other being so that I can access the positive energetic charge again until… the experience of "I'm so bad, I'm unworthy, they are better than me" is in complete possession and I've absolute integrated with and as the diminishment character.

 

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that for the Self Diminishment Character to Exists, the Comparison and Competition Character must Exist and I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realize that I've been missing a critical point all along - Instead of comparing and competing with other beings in my world and my reality, I'm able to expand and grow myself through Learning from other people within the understanding that in order to develop the skills that those whom I compare myself with has, I require to walk a time Line in space/time physical reality. Within that, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to create my self existence within and as the Diminishment Character and within that, enslaved and trapped myself within and as a infinite cycle where I will never see, realize and understand Who I am and my utmost potential as a Physical Living Human Being as I was busy comparing myself to others, not giving myself the possibility to in fact expand and grow myself through others that are standing as an example of who I am able to be and become within and as the principle of Oneness and Equality.

 

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that so long as I give myself the permission to diminish myself within and as my mind and within that, not accepting and allowing myself to grow and expand myself as a Physical Living Human being, I will remain trapped within and as my own mind not ever be able to step out of my mind as I'll be busy judging myself and be hard on myself and never in fact change.

 

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize the cycle of Self Sabotage that I've created within and as the Self Diminishment Character wherein, instead of standing within and as a principle of Oneness and Equality and learn from the people in my environment, that have proven that change is possible through a decision that that they have made to assist and support themselves to step out of their character and become LIFE that is best for all, I had allowed myself to compare myself to them within the attempt to WIN my validation, gratification and glorification without ever realizing that I can Never be more than who I am, I can never be More than who others are and that within and as this game/movie that we have created within and as a decision that we have made very long time ago to trap ourselves for eternity to and as our mind, the only solution is to wake us all up, stand together in Equality and Oneness and change who and what we have become according to ONE principle - that which is best for all within which, we'll stand up together and change our creation to and as LIFE that is Equally best for all.

The Self Diminishment Character - Day 94

The Self Diminishment Character is a very sneaky Character. The Character LIEs behind various other characters such as Self Judgement Character, Jealousy Character, Spitefulness Character, Unworthy Character, I'm not good enough Character, I'm so fucked up Character etc. however, all of these character can only exists when one is engaging the Comparison Character because unless one compare oneself to something or someone, one wouldn't be able to see oneself as unworthy, not good enough and so on.

 

So what is the self diminishment Character?

We tend to create a picture in our mind of who and what we should be, who and what we require to be. When a person in our environment standing according to the idea/picture that we have created in our mind and we are not yet standing as that picture/idea, the Self Diminishment Character is activated through comparing ourselves to the idea we have about ourselves through projecting that picture/idea onto the being in our environment.

 

What self does from that moment onward is quite fascinating:

Self will jump from one character to another in the attempt to Balance the emotions and feelings that self is participating with. As we have seen, the Self Diminishment Character will activate the moment that the idea/picture that one has in one's mind about oneself doesn't stand in alignment to the physical reality when and as One is accessing the Comparison Character. Instantaneously, self will access the Jealousy Character and the feelings within and as oneself will be in a form of heaviness within and as one's chest area. What self is busy with now is the self Judgment Character within and as the experience of: I'm not good enough, why can't I be like this being, why haven't I changed already, Why am I so fucked up, I should have been perfect already, I should have known that already….

 

These Characters carry a negative emotional charge and so, Self will attempt to Balance the Negative emotional charge through accessing the Spiteful Character wherein Self will look at and search for all the memories self hold onto the other being to find faults within and as the other being.

However, the spitefulness in one's mind towards the other being can last for so long, until the cycle restart itself and self will access again to the Self Diminishment Character through comparing the being to the picture/idea in one' mind and start feeling sorry for oneself and continuously feed self with self pity.

 

As all Characters, the Self Diminishment Character can only exists within one's self interest for an experience through comparison. The idea/picture that one has about oneself in one's mind, is to serve one point only - one's interest to be More than who one IS within the belief that when Self will be 'More', Self would be able to define oneself as Superior to others and special.

 

However, when Self access the Diminishment character by utilising comparison, there are 2 scenarios that might manifest:

1. Self has already given up on the idea/picture that one has about oneself because self can no longer be so Special as there is another being that took the spot. And so, self will now create an alternate idea/picture in one's mind to be able to position oneself as Special and Superior according to one's mind.

2. Self became "motivated" even more to be and manifest the idea/picture that self has about oneself and will find the places where self can be More than the other being according to one's mind to be able to step up in the spot light and get the recognition from one's environment.

 

What we have not realized was that the being that we are busy comparing ourselves to, is standing as an example of what we are able to be and become if we dare ourselves to step out of our own self interest of an experience to be special, and simply learn from this being and expand ourselves.

Another point that we've missed was that one require to walk a time line in relation to developing the skills required to be able to effectively become the expression one is jealous at.

How to Choose a Partner – Day 21

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to when considering a prospective partner to participate with the back chat: “I hope my family will accept him” to exist within and as me.

I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to see that the thought: “I hope my family will accept him” influenced my decisions as well as I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to base my decisions on the fear that my family won’t approve my partner without getting to know the person and see if there is a potential for a supportive and effective relationship/agreement.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to compromise myself within that relationships that I’ve had because I made a decision of being with a partner based on whether or not my family will approve him instead of getting to know the person and making the decision based on common sense principle that I’ve set up for myself in relation to what agreement/relationship do I want for myself from the starting point of what is best for ME within the process that I’ve walking.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to when seeing a prospective partner, judge him according to his physical body appearance instead basing the decision according to guidelines that I’ve set up for myself in relation to the agreement/relationship that I would like to walk with another human being.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to connect the prospective body appearance to the back chat – “ I hope my family will approve him” in separation of me and accordingly, make a decision to walk or not to walk an agreement/relationship with the prospective partner despite of the fact that I didn’t even take the time to get to know the being and see for myself if there is a potential to establish an effective and supportive agreement/relationship with the being.

I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to get to know beings that do not stand according to the relationship profile that I’ve created in my mind and within that, I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to see that I’m limiting myself to such an extent through giving value to how the prospective partner would look like instead of taking the time to get to know the being and see whether there is a potential for us to align ourselves to and as one’s process.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to have a judgement day picture in my mind wherein I bring the partner home for dinner and according to that, assessing whether or not this person has a potential to be with me and within that, I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to hold on to a judgement day picture in my mind where my partner meet my family and through that assumption/judgement, I’m making a limited decision with regards to the being in relation to whether or not we could walk an agreement/relationship together.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to be influenced by my own judgement of the prospective partner through projecting it onto my family because I’ve not accepted and allowed myself to respect myself enough to actually get to know the person and make a decision from .

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to use the beings that won’t fit to the family picture profile that I have in my mind only for sex and I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to take a moment and get to know them because from the get go, I didn’t think there is a chance for the relationship/agreement according to the family profile picture that I’ve hold in my mind

I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to walk into an agreement/relationship for ME but instead, tried to restore my relationship with my family through a partner that will fit into the family profile picture and with doing so, I’ve accepted and allowed myself to sabotage, compromise and abuse myself through making decisions that has nothing to do with WHO the person is and Who I am within the agreement/relationship.

I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to see how I’ve sabotaged and abused myself within my relationship with males because I haven’t taken a moment to get to know them and see whether or not there is a potential for us to align ourselves to each other within our processes because my starting point was to have a partner that will fit with the family profile picture and thus, when someone fit the family profile picture, I’ve blinded my eyes and I didn’t see the obvious signs when the partner was not align with me and the process that I’m busy walking.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to establish relationship with males that I knew that the relationship won’t last and within that, felt superior within myself through the experience of spiting and rebelling to what i perceived to be expected of me without realizing that the only person whom I spiting against is myself through the accepted and allowed relationships in my life that are in no way a form of support.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to go deliberately into relationships that won’t last because I wanted to spite and rebel my upbringing without considering that the only person whom I spite and dishonour is myself.

I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to see that I’m spiting myself when I’m making a decision to spite my family and within that, I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to make a decision based on spitefulness in relation to my prospective partner instead of walking a decision that is based on common sense principles that I’ve set up for myself in relation to how I would like to walk an agreement with another from the starting point of support to myself and my process that I’m busy walking.

I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to walk into relationship/agreement with partners who have money because when I did go out with rich guys, I felt inferior, unworthy and not in their league and I didn’t want to spend the rest of my life within that experience. Within that, I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to be open about my experience in relation to money to be able to face and correct the experience and thus then, come to an agreement with my partner in relation to money and instead, I ran away from myself and my partner before I even got to know him and see whether or not we can establish and develop an effective and supporting agreement/relationship.

I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to see the relationship between money and relationships  wherein, when my partner has more money than me, I believe I cannot control him and thus, will always be in a position of inferior, attempting to please and validate myself to him, to sustain our relationship and within that, I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to even consider establishing an agreement that is based on 2 equals walking their process where no one is controlling anyone but vice versa, assist and support each other to face and correct our self interest existence that we have become as well as expanding ourselves within the process of stepping out of the mind and stepping into ourselves as the physical equality and oneness reality.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to NOT go into a relationship/agreement with partners who have money because I felt ashamed that I can’t afford that which they can and I didn’t want to be feel inferior within the relationship. Within that, I forgive myself that I’ve not accepted and allowed myself to be open and communicate the money point with my partners and thus, get to an agreement of how we will walk our relationship/agreement in relation to money.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to fear getting hurt again due to a failed relationship and thus, I’ve made a decision to never engage to an agreement/relationship where I could get hurt and thus, I made sure to not place myself in a vulnerable position and only went for superficial relationship as well as to unavailable partners, not even considering how I’m abusing and sabotaging myself within it and also, not considering taking a moment and sort myself out, to be able to walk an effective relationship/agreement with myself and with others.

I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to see that getting hurt due to a failed relationship was my own self creation which I’ve accepted and allowed because I didn’t have the tools to assist and support me with practical common sense application and thus, I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to live in a world where the most important education isn’t in place and beings are being occupied in their mind with self pity, self sorrow and so on, and within that, abdicated the responsibility to assist and support themselves to step out of their mind, establish themselves in the physical equality and oneness reality and thus, creating a world that is best for all.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to make decision of not getting in the position of being vulnerable and intimate with any partner so that I won’t have to go through the hell that I’ve experienced after a failed relationship and thus, accepted and allowed myself to sabotage, compromise and abuse myself within the belief that I can use sex to overcome the self sorrow, depression and self pity, despite of the fact that it didn’t assist and support me in anyway but only increased the emptiness that I’ve experienced within myself, because I did not had the tools to assist and support myself with stepping out of the emotional body that I’ve allowed myself to exists as and within that, I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed a world where beings are subjected to their self creation mind design in total separation of themselves because we haven’t establish an effective education system that will allow everyone to face their acceptance and allowances which from there, we can take the responsibility to assist and support ourselves and other and together, establish a world that is best for all.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to use and abuse males for sex because of a self belief that I could feel good and better about myself and hide and suppress the depression that I’ve experience after a failed relationship and within that, I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to utilize sex as a physical self support and instead, tried and attempted to “fix” myself through having sex with males that I don’t have intimate relationship/agreement with despite the fact that I was never “fixed” and thus, accepted and allowed myself the cycle of abuse of myself and others without any practical corrective application.

I commit myself to stop making decisions according to a family profile picture that I’ve created in my mind and to assist and support me with creating a practical guideline for a decision making with regards to a prospective partner so that when and as I see anyone that is not standing according to the guideline that I’ve set up for myself, I will not manipulate myself an fall into the pattern of making decisions that are not based on self support but rather self sabotage abuse and compromise.

 I commit myself to walk and LIVE my own life within the starting point of self support principle of what is best for all.

I commit myself to embrace and respect myself and within that, establish an effective agreement with myself to NOT fall into the trap of self manipulation patterns of abuse and sabotage and in that, stand up, as who I am within everything that I do, and thus, not accepting anything that is less than me as well as from my prospective partner.

I commit myself to walk an agreement with a partner that respect himself enough to assist and support himself to step out of his mind in alignment with the process that I’m busy walking and thus, I will cross reference and investigate his application before making the decision to walk an agreement with him, to make sure that the decision is based on a real and trust worthy self support application.

I commit myself to get to know the prospective partner before making any decision of walking an agreement with him, to see if there is an actual potential that we can be aligned within ourselves and our processes.

I commit myself to Stop using sex to manipulate myself and others and to only utilize sex as a self physical support when and as I’m walking an agreement with another where intimacy and comfortably with each other is established.