Should I blindly trust another - Day 530

After I wrote the previous blog, The Truth about Blind trust - Day 529  I saw the following quote by Brian Tracy:

"The glue that holds all relationships together, including the relationship between the leader and the led, is trust, and trust is based on integrity."

Looking at the examples we discussed in the previous blog - we can see how blind trust turned into a complete distrust when the objects of our trust lost their credibility and thus their integrity in our eyes' view. Yet, most of us just accepted the fact that integrity was lost and that relationships aren't trustworthy as a normal way of living instead of actually investigating solutions.

I think that we reached that level of 'giving up' inside of ourselves because things have always been this way and we are tired of fighting with each other in away so instead, we just accept the status-que and maintain some level of getting along with each other, knowing that we cannot absolutely trust anyone in this world. This is sad isn't it?

The question is, can we trust ourselves? Can we trust that in a moment of truth, we will act on what is best for everyone and not just on what is best for me? Can we trust ourselves to make decisions that would benefit the majority of this world? Will we, in moments of temptation take more instead of give? Many of us claim to be good people and see ourselves as those who want to create a better world, yet, in our daily action we prove that we are thinking of ourselves and ourselves only.

Understand, I am not here to judge anyone - I am here to be brutal honest so that we can face the point inside of ourselves and for once and for all, reach a level of self-honesty that would lead to us to a level of self-trust. Because unless we are able to trust ourselves, we will follow the same path we currently are at and blindly trust that something will change, that some good will come our way, not seeing that our physical reality showing us the exact opposite.

So look, let's be honest - we are not yet at a point of being able to blindly trust anything or anyone but ourselves. So let's establish that step first. The best way to establish self trust is through applying the principle - "Investigate all things and keep that which is good". Whenever something comes up inside of you that you are not sure about, check yourself, introspect and find the source (to help yourself with the process, please sign up for the free life mastery skills course - http://lite.desteniiprocess.com). by "something comes up inside of you" I mean - thoughts, reactions, blame, judgement, anger and so forth - get to a point of self honesty and see what activate and manifest that reaction inside of you instead of blindly trust that whatever came up inside of you is valid.

AND - when someone is saying something to you, no matter how good it sounds, check the information, don't blindly trust the information no matter who the person is. Do your research, develop critical thinking to discern the information in such a way that you can see clearly whether the information is something you can test for yourself or not.

When you develop the habit of investigating all things (both internally and externally) and keep that which is good, you start establishing a point of self-trust with yourself because you can trust now that you do not blindly follow information but actually checking and researching the information and could thus make an informative decision. In that, you also stop the habit of blaming and judging other people for suggestions that they gave and instead you support them when the information they carry is contaminated. You thus support yourself to stand with integrity and supporting others to develop integrity within themselves and others. Can you see where I am going with it? A key for successful relationships, a key for an actual change is by developing self-trust and that self-trust will be the guiding force that can be trusted to bring a change for this world that is of worth, that is of integrity and harmony.

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Art work : www.cuded.com

The Truth about Blind trust - Day 529

In a previous blog, 'Should I trust another?  Day 480', I discussed the difference between 'trust and self-trust:

"...Someone said to me something in those lines:

'You cannot trust anyone but yourself - it is not about whether or not you can trust another - it is about trusting yourself that what you are seeing in your reality is actually what is and accordingly, trusting yourself that according to what you are seeing, you will direction/support yourself and others based on what is best in any given moment'…"

"… So you see, it all has to do with one's responsibility of trusting oneself and it is not about trusting or distrusting another. It is to trust yourself when making any decision; it is to trust yourself that you will stand in absolute stability no matter how the outcome would be because you trusted yourself that you considered and investigated all things before you made a decision; and it is to trust yourself to when/as you see another's application as untrustworthy, you first assess/investigate/check that you are clear within yourself without any slight reaction to another and thereafter, if you are in a position of sharing support with them, do so in self-trust"

So for context - please read 'Should I trust another' blog to understand the difference between Trust and Self Trust. In this blog post, I would like to focus more on the point of 'Blind Trust'.

We all blindly trust our parents as babies. I mean, we don't have much choice do we? We arrive to this world our parents are the ones who take care of us, give us love, attention, warmth and care. Why won't we trust them? So we blindly trust that they know what and how to raise us and we obey their rules without any exception.

Then, we are introduced with our next caretaker - can be the nanny or the nursery/kindergarten teacher - and again we blindly trust that they know what is best for us because that's just how it is.

And we go to school, blindly trust the education system that has its best intentions for us, that it exists to empower us and educate us to be the best that we can be.

I often tell people that being a parent is the most difficult job/career in this world and yet, there is not any 'parenting school' or 'parenting university' where you can perfect your parenting skills. With any other profession, you must have a proper license or a diploma to be able to get a job. Yet, no one actually teach and train parents to be parents and there is again, this blind expectations, that the parent would know what to do with their kids. Yet, we all know it is not the case. Most of us feel overwhelmed and inadequate when our babies come to the world. Most of us feel powerless to direct situations with our children because we just don't know how and there is no one around to consult with.

Then with the education system, it is no longer a secret that the education system does not have any good and pure intentions to teach and train the students to reach their utmost potential. For more context, please watch: The Ultimate History Lesson by John Taylor Gatto. Yet, we all so blindly trust the education system to be for our children the ultimate education provider that we cannot even conceptualize that it is not so.

As we grow older, we blindly trust the world system and our government to consider our needs and well being so we put our vote down and we blindly trust the government to have our best interest in mind yet, we all know it is not so. We all know that the people are the last to be considered but it would first be money, self-interest and maintenance of power that will be considered.

So here are just a few examples of why blind trust is dangerous yet, very common thing to do in the world of today.

In blogs to come we will have a look at how to change blind trust to self-trust and how to always work with the principle: "investigate all thing and keep that which is good" as the first step in discerning information or people to a level of trusting ourselves to make the decisions within the starting point of 'that which is best for all life'

Thank you.

Learning to Trust myself - Day 406

Interestingly enough, in the last couple of weeks, the main point I was working with was Self Trust, Self Acceptance, Respect and Worth as I uncovered a deeper layer I haven't seen before within myself. These are the words I have written down for myself when I started looking at the point maybe 3 weeks ago:

"Recently, it became more evident that I am following a religion, the religion of myself; a religion that I've wrote with my own blood, flesh and the entire body; a religion that I follow so dearly without realizing that within this religion of myself, I have diminished and compromised myself to such an extent that self-worth, self-respect and self-value are just titles I can give to myself through the validation of others. In other words, in the religion that I lived by, the first commandment was- You shall be Valued, Worthy and Respected only if others will…"

I haven't published that blog as I planned to walk the point first as myself, as the living change and then share it with the world as a point of support.

Bernard was pushing this point more and more recently so that I could finally make a decision - to either trust myself completely and unconditionally or to always remain a slave where I require glorifications from others to be able to validate myself. Within my current responsibilities, I was directly working with Bernard as I took on a position that requires Specificity, Responsibility and Certainty and most importantly self-trust. Though, the one thing I feared the most was making mistakes - since a mistake won't only influence my life, but the lives of many others. Bernard never gave me the answers but instead, insisted that I will first look at the point for myself, assess all things, all outcomes and make decisions.

So, a week ago, I started to practically apply Self Trust wherein I would make a decision, be comfortable with the decision, check myself, cross reference myself and then, once the decision was applied, I would share it with him as a 'By the way' thing and he would either say 'cool' or 'have you looked at…' or 'have you considered that' or 'Maya, your voice tonality shows that your decision was done within a starting point of a reaction so what is the reaction all about?'.

But then he died, and I cannot say that I transcended the point yet. In fact, my physical body shows that there is still unresolved points that I haven't considered or effectively applied. The trust point, in my back where the pain shows that there is a part of me that cannot trust myself without Bernard being here to support me within the decisions that I make and the decisions that I will have to make.

So my back is stiff, sore, constricted and basically, that point in my back is now weak as the support structure I've created for myself in separation of myself/body is nonexistent, as I have separated the self-trust into a relationship with Bernard, trusting him more than I trusted myself and in this exists the separation. Now I have to teach myself to trust myself so absolutely - so that no matter what I face, I am stable within myself.

I must create my own support structure wherein Self Honesty, Assessing all things and deciding on that which would result in the outcome that is best for all is practically applied within each breath I take. To trust myself that when I make a mistake, I learn from the mistake, I correct myself and practically change - "simple" as Bernard used to say.

So I commit myself to learn to trust myself unconditionally and to support myself and become the support Bernard stood as and in a way still standing, for me and for others.

The Santa Claus Conspiracy - Can a Child Trust their Parents? - Day 334

Continuing with the Question Who is Responsible for our Children's Education?

If you haven't already, I suggest reading through the previous blogs:

 

Who is Responsible for our Children's Education? - Day 332

Is the Zoo an Educational Experience for Children - Day 333

 

How can we expect our children to trust and respect us when from the first moment they are able to understand and comprehend Language, we deceive and lie to them with the Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy Stories?

 

How can we Establish a relationship that is supportive and effective with our children when the foundation of the relationship is taint with 'White Lies'?

 

How is it that we justify to ourselves why it is OK to go along with the Santa/Fairy story? And why we have never questioned the Psychological effects such 'White Lie' may have on the Subconscious and Unconscious mind level and how that would may influence how the Child would develop one's characters/personalities and thus, one's Relationships with themselves and others?

 

See, the problem is that we have been accepting and allowing our Beliefs to exists without first questioning it or looking in common sense at all the outflows and possibilities that may results with our actions upon these beliefs. For instance, we believe that telling a 'white lie' to our children, such as the Santa/Fairy story, is an innocence thing. But is it really? I mean, we can't even remember our own reactions when we found out the truth: that we were lied to by our own parents who we trusted so much and so, we are continuing the sin of our fathers and pass it on to our children because apparently, what cannot be remembered, cannot harm anyone. However, have we ever unconditionally trusted our Parents after the first time we caught them telling us a lie? In Self Honesty… the answer is No because in one way or another, we stored this memory within ourselves. We might not remember it but it is still there as long as we haven't taken the directive principle and removed the memory from and as ourselves, this memory would be part of our Personality/character and part of our decision making. Here I suggest investigating the Power of the Quantum mind.

 

What we haven't realized is: We teach our children that Lying is Valid whether we name it a white Lie or small Lie and we would even justify it to ourselves by saying that "Everyone Lies and it's Ok because it is done to protect our children because they are not ready to face the world/reality and they are not able to cope with this world/reality and they are not ready to handle the truth" while the truth is that we teach our children to lie and feel no shame about it because Lying is a detrimental part our survival on earth.

And, so within so without I mean, isn't it what our Politicians do? Our Government? And how it is justify? Through saying that people are irrational being and the information must be control for their own safety. Isn't that right?

 

"what Parents Fear the Most is that their children will be Exposed to the truth and thus would fiercely Protect the Lie they taught their children and use from Young a PecuLIAR Excuse as a Lie when Children ask Questions that Question the Lie, by Saying: ‘God only Knows Why” – these Words are a Lie and children and parents using these words are lying desperately or in Some Cases, Covering Up a Lie as Everyone Knows Subconsciously, this Lie has worked for Generations and is a Safe Lie, that is Accepted as the Human Way that Dare Not be Questioned – and that Questioning this lie, is to be Disrespectful towards God and the faith of a Person and thus an attack on a person’s character. The Fact that this lie is used to Perpetuate global suffering at an unprecedented Scale, is IGNORED and the Lie is also Used to Justify why Suffering Exists, by echoing – ‘GOD only Knows.’ " (Creation's Journey to Life - Day 106: Living the Lie)

 

And so, let me ask again.. Who is responsible for our Children's Education? It is us, there is no real question about it and therefore, it is about time we start questioning the foundation of ourselves, our beliefs, our culture, our religion, our government, our values and accordingly, stop brainwashing our children to be and become irrational beings that require to be controlled to survive in this world; stop our blinded submission to this world system that allow the abuse and suffering of so many. Let's take responsibility for our children through first taking responsibility upon ourselves. Wouldn't you agree?

 

Depression - Self Interest or a Real Physical Condition? - Day 221

This is a continuation to:

The Elite's delusion of stress - Part 1 - Day 45 The Elite's Delusion of Stress - Part 2 - Day 46 The Decision of TIME - Day 67 opy Paste Character - The Education System - Day 184 Is it possible to Cheat yourself? Day 185 It is time to STOP Existing as a Human Machine - Day 186 The End of Times - Day 187 Facing the Evil within - the KEY to LIFE - Day 188 Fear of Disappointing others - Day 189 The Psychology of TIME - Day 190 I Regret, therefor, I'm a Good Person. NOT!!! - Day 191 The REAL Fear - Day 192 The things we Won't tell ANYONE - Day 193 Missing out on the Good Life - Day 194 Let's have some Fun - Day 195

Stupidity Loop - Jumping from the Bad to the Good to the Bad - Day 196 The Smoke Screen of Ignorance - Day 197 Leaving in a Dream - Day 208 Having the Life Style you always dreamt to have - Day 209 IT is MY time Now - don't say a word - Day 210 Let's go on Vacation - Day 211 Comparison is a Bitch - Day 212 Damn, I will never have everything done - Day 213 Standing as an Example - Self Interest or Self Realization? - Day 214 From the Bossy to the Loser - Day 215 Jealousy and Frustration - I want the Life they Have - Day 216 The Poison within Irritation and Anger - Day 217 Judgement as self Perfection - Day 218 Impatience as Evilness - Day 219 Please feel Sorry for me - Day 220

 

 

For the purpose of context, suggest reading these posts above prior to reading the post below, if you haven’t already. Here I will be walking the 'I don't have TIME' Character - Reaction Dimension - Practical support with Self Forgiveness and Self Commitments.

 

 

Reactions Dimension:

* Jealousy

* Frustration

* Irritation

* Anger

* Judgment and Self Judgment

* Impatient

* Self Pity

* Depression

* Anxiety

* Stress

 

 

 

 

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Depression

 

One must understand that the context of what I've been walking in my last few blogs was Specifically within the context of the 'I don't have Time' Character. Today, I will be walking the Depression that I've accepted and allowed myself to participate with, within the 'I don't have Time' character.

 

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that the self created Depression that I've accepted and allowed to exists within and as me, when the 'I don't have time' character take the front, was done deliberately to justify the belief that I don't have time as Equal to and One as the accepted and allowed Self Pity design. (For more context, please read the previous blog - Please feel Sorry for me - Day 220).

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to believe myself when I felt Depressed because apparently, I didn't have time and within that belief, I've sabotaged, compromised and limited myself in actually looking at what is behind the Depression and how I was utilizing the depression as self manipulation to not face my own self interest desires that were activated within and as my mind, in the imagination domain. (For more Context, please read Stupidity Loop - Jumping from the Bad to the Good to the Bad - Day 196 and Leaving in a Dream - Day 208)

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to follow the feeling of Depression to justify why I took a moment for myself, to do nothing, and why it was 'ok' for me to neglect and compromise the things I committed myself to get done and instead went and do things to please my desire for entertainment because according to Society codes that I've accepted and allowed as myself, as a religion of myself, "it is valid to take a momentary 'break' when feeling Depressed; everybody does that".

 

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see how I've manipulated myself and others within the Depression embodiment within the belief that I'm entitle to feel depressed because everybody does from time to time and therefor, I can take a moment and indulge within my self interest desires even though 'I don't have time' for it. Within this, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to consider the Physical reality but rather, trusted my mind within the experience of Depression to justify for myself that it's ok to take a momentary break and thus, have not realized, seen and understood that within that justification, my directive Principle is my Mind and not Me that moves equal and one as the physical as what is best for all. In this, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see, that I do not require any form of manipulation to move myself in any given moment but rather, stand in self honesty, assess what would be best for all in a moment and accordingly move myself, without the mind telling me how I feel, what I should do, who or what I am

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to base my decisions according to how I perceive my Experience through my mind instead of trusting the Physical within the principle of what is best for all and move myself accordingly. Within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to trust the experience of Depression, as if it is me, not seeing, realizing and understanding how I am the only creator of the depression within and as me and how I have used and abused myself in manipulating myself within the belief that I am depressed, to justify my fall into my own desires in the nature of self interest and to thus, compromise myself within giving up on that which I've committed myself to.

 

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand how deliberate depression is, within and as me where I would give up on Life, on the Principle of what is best for all through justifying to myself my fall in the name of Depression that would entitle me to indulge and take the time I require to 'heal' myself from the depression because apparently, it wasn't me who decided to become depressed "because it is real and I could feel it" and within that, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to trust the Physical, to trust the Principle of what is best for all and instead, trusted my mind, in separation of me, within the belief that I'm experiencing Depression and that it is real because I can feel it.

 

I Commit myself to when and as I see myself accessing Depression, and now I'm referring whatever the reason for the self created depression is, not only in the context of 'I don't have time' character to Stop, Breathe, and remind myself why and How I've seen for myself that I've deliberately created depression to manipulate myself in not facing the real core/source/origin of the Depression as a cover-up to justify my desires in the nature of self interest. Within that, I commit myself to investigate and further expand the my SF application with regards to Depression within all the layers of the mind, for myself, and accordingly, to walk the correction process that is required to be walked, in self honesty/realization.

 

I Commit myself to Trust the Physical as what is here that I can cross reference and within that, to not trust the mind within the experience that I 'Feel' as I now see, realize and understand that whatever I feel and see through my mind is self created deception and it's not actual direct seeing of and as the Physical and if I accept and allow myself to trust my mind, I accept and allow the diminishment of myself, as living physical being and within that, in every moment that I accept and allow myself to base my decisions according to what I feel or see through my mind, I miss a breath and a window of opportunity to in fact change and walk, breath by breath, within and as the principle of that which is best for all lives.

 

I Commit myself to Establish Physical Self Trust within and as myself and to assist and support me in making decisions that are based on Physical cross referenced investigation rather than making decisions that are based on mind Trust as I've seen and proven to myself that I cannot trust my mind in anyway whatsoever.

Spiritualizing beings that had Died - Day 162

This is a continuation to:

Walking Breath by Breath - Part 1 - Day 160

Walking Breath by Breath - Part 2 - Day 161

 

So, the pain in my back is almost gone, but it's not completely gone which indicate a point that I haven't yet seen, investigated and realized within and as myself.

Today, I will further look at how I've placed my power, my trust in others, how I've spiritualized them within my mind, how I have attached and gave them power, through imagination and how within that, I've lost myself so to speak, lost critical thinking, lost common sense…

 

When I was about 11 years old, I lost my grandfather which I was very much connected with from the perspective of - he had never seen me as a child, as someone who is less than him, he had never judged me, yelled at me or put me down. He was always very much gentle with me. He used to tell me stories about his past and within that, walked me through the common sense point of why and how there is no God for real.

Obviously, he couldn't explain to me how creation was created and how we have evolved to where we are now but what was very much clear to him is that there is no God and if there is a God, than God is a sun of a bitch, the most evil man on earth.

 

The night that he had died, I could feel it even though it was out of the blue, he wasn't old or anything.. Only 75 years old. At that night, I was waking up in the middle of the night from a dream about my grandfather lying on a silver metal bad, with a light on top of him, he was naked with a blanket on and he wasn't moving. I didn't experience any previous death before and I didn't understand what I was seeing in my dream. At 1:00 AM, the phone was ringing, waking me up from my dream. I put myself back to sleep until the morning came. I went up from bed, so many people in our house and my sister came towards me in the attempt to take me aside and tell me what had happened, but I already knew and I started yelling at her. I don't remember what I was saying to her but it was something in the nature of - don't you dare say it, I already know, he is dead..

 

His death was one of the most difficult things I have ever experienced because this man, was my entire world, he was my sanity in a world I couldn't see sanity. He was practical, direct, assertive, caring - something rarely to seen and found in this current world. I knew that from now on, there would be no one that I can trust with telling me the truth, no one that I could trust to never judge me or put me down. I wanted to believe so much that he is still here in spirit so I started talking to him. asking him questions, asking him to assist me with communicate effectively with my parents, asking me to give me signs so that I'll know that I'm in the right path, asking him about guys and what his perspective on them.. It was all fine until it didn't lol.

 

In moments of bad experiences, when things could have gone completely out of balance, completely wrong, and in the last moment something had happened and I was saved by chance, I connected it to my grandfather watching me and taking care of me. I've essentially made him my Guardian Angle, my God, My Saviour.

 

There was a time when things went completely wrong and I couldn't get what I wanted, especially with males that I became obsessed with and they didn't pay attention to me. When the "Love of my Life" had broken up with me and I felt my world had collapsed, I blamed my grandfather. One night, I was driving my car back home, crying so much, like almost a panic attach. I yelled at my grandfather to give me a sign for his existence because if he wouldn't, I wouldn't trust that he is there watching me. Yes, I made some excuses and justifications like - he cannot watch me every single moment and he might assist and support other human beings in certain moment but at that very moment, when I was crying like crazy and yelled at him, I expected him to hear me and give me a sign. I told him that he can take a few days to give me a sign because I didn't know how long it would take him to manifest the sign for me but if it won't happened, I'm done. I would stop this blindly belief.

And so, I stopped. For a few years I didn't talk with my grandfather anymore, I didn't think about him, I stopped looking for signs that where never there and I was completely alone with no one to watch me from way above. Until.. One day. When I was already a spiritual person, I was laying on the couch with my face towards to TV screen. The house was full with candles which created a warmth environment and suddenly… I saw my grandfather, I saw him on the TV screen, giving me a sign for his existence and immediately, the belief had emerged again - my grandfather always there, letting me to experience some life lessons but he had never stop taking care of me.

 

Fortunately, the spiritual phase didn't last so long, it was around 2 years before I had found Desteni and I could finally realize my own responsibility, my own relationship with my mind as imagination, my own reasoning as illusions regarding what is real and what is not, without even testing the points for myself in common sense.

 

So here, I wrote done the story for myself, as the foundation of the point that I would look at in my next blog, regarding my experience with spiritualizing a being, how did it influenced my life, how did it influence my relationships with other human beings, and how I have utilize this being to abdicate my own responsibility through blaming him for my own self creation.

To do this - I would walk my experience and relationship with him before and after he had died to see who I am/was within this relationship, why have I created this godly relationship with him, before and after he had died, to see, realize and understand in more depth how through my relationship with my grandfather, I've accepted and allowed myself to abdicate my own responsibility in standing within and as self trust, directing myself and my world, breath by breath.

 

With regards to After Death Communication – I suggest reading through Creation’s Journey to Life Day 151 onwards as well as watch the following Video: www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=ZGoCC3vID8I

Changing the Human Nature - Day 89

This is a continuation to my blog:

Humans are so fucked up - you cannot trust anyone - Day 88

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to give up on Humanity within and as the statement: "Humans are fucked up - you cannot trust anyone" and I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that all along, I have accepted my limitations, my programming and the design that I've created myself within and as and I have allowed the limitation, programming and design within and as this world, as equal to and one as me and through my acceptance and allowances, I directly responsible for us as humanity, in our current nature/design because I haven't take my own responsibility of stepping out of that which I've accepted and allowed myself to be and become in separation of me, stand as an example that a change is possible and that the only reason we won't allow ourselves to change is because or our self interest nature which blinds us from seeing clearly what we have ignored and disregarded from the beginning of time and how through our ignorance, we have accepted and allowed ourselves to create and manifest a world as it is exists today.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself as the giving up character, to use, justify and make excuses of why I cannot change because changing would mean to let go of the character that I've created myself as, in separation of me and within that, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to forget that I was the one who created myself as the human nature, and that I was so powerful that I've even created the forgetfulness character so that I can make sure, that I will never bring myself back to myself within and as equality and oneness as LIFE that is best for all.

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself and this world as equal and one to realize, understand and see that so long as I accept and allow the evil secret mind that I've become in absolute equality and oneness and therefore, have accept and allow spiteful thoughts, jealousy, comparison, competition, judgement, diminishment of others in my mind, I cannot be trusted to the extent to which - if I think, I can't be trusted and within and as equality and oneness fuckupness - I cannot trust any one who accept and allow thoughts to be one's directive principle in separation of oneself and this existence as a whole.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to be petrified to face myself as my mind, as what I have accepted within myself and this world, and thus, the easy way out if through stating that the human nature will never change and within that, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to give my power away within the desire to belief that the human nature cannot be changed as I've abdicated my responsibility to test for myself whether I can change and stand as an example that the human nature can be changed.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to justify why I'm not willing to face that which I've accepted and allowed myself to be and become within and as the statement: "the human nature cannot be changed" and furthermore, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to hurt, harm and kill anyone who dared to stand up and prove that change, within and without is possible.

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see that I'm EVIL in fact because I accept and allow myself to participate within and as my evil secret mind, judging, spiting, competing with everything and everyone: my best friends as well as my enemies and I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realize that unless I take the responsibility to in fact face myself and all that I've accepted and allowed within myself and within this world, I'm directly responsible for the abuse that manifested within and as this world.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to use the excuse: If I stop my mind, I will become a zombie" and I haven't taken the responsibility to test and confirm that excuse/belief for myself because within and as me I already KNEW and didn't want to face that stopping the mind is the KEY, stopping the mind is an extensive process that one has to walk in absolute self dedication.

I commit myself to show that a change is possible through my 7 years commitment of writing. And so, through writing myself out, I stand as an example that a change is possible because I've committed to myself to never give up on myself, as I see, realize and understand that giving up on myself means that I'm giving up on LIFE that is best for all.

I commit myself to show the stupidity loop that we have created as ourselves wherein us as the creators of the multiple characters within and as ourselves, also created a character to forget that we are in character and so, me within and as my powerfulness, have created a loop where we could never get out of, unless we do, through taking the responsibility to let go of all our characters, to download the program of and as LIFE that is best for all into and as our physical flesh and change who and what we have become to and as a principle of LIFE that is best for all.

I commit myself to show and expose that Trust cannot exists as long as one THINK. We have created a world based on thinking and it is clear that we haven't done a good job. Our relationships with others are based on thinking and it is obvious what goes on inside one's mind towards their beloved one. (if one dare to be self honest and admit to oneself the actuality of what I'm writing here)

I commit myself to SHOW and PROVE that when stopping the mind, one doesn't become a zombie, as I'm walking my own process of stopping the mind and it doesn't seem that I'm becoming a zombie but quite the opposite - fully expressive, A LIVE and functioning.

Humans are so fucked up - you cannot trust anyone - Day 88

From time to time, I hear the statement - "yes, it is fucked up, it's human nature, there is nothing we can do about it. We simply cannot trust anyone, there are people that will stab a knife in your back the moment you turn around, there will be those who will rape the neighbours daughter, there will be those who will murder the prime minister, there will be those…" and the list goes on and on and on.

However, what is fascinating is that within that statement or various types of statement within and as the nature of the statement above, one has already given up on humanity. One has already given up on the possibility to change human nature and simply accepted within and as oneself and allowed within and as this world, the fact that the human nature is so fucked up and there is nothing we can do about it.

But is it in fact so? Is it the human nature that cannot be changed or is it me that will not dare myself to change? I will vote for the second option as I've seen within and as myself the extent of self will that one must become for one to absolutely change one's preprogram design / the human nature.

Ok, so yes, we cannot trust anyone in this world but that is not because of who they are - it is because who we are within and as our own human nature/preprograming. Why?

Let's do an exercise - imagine a person you dislike. What are the thought you have about him/her? What is the nature of the thoughts you accept and allow within and as your mind? Can you see it? Not so pretty hay?

but now you will tell me - well, I don't like this person because of this and that and you will justify why it's ok that you have accepted and allowed those thoughts towards this person because I mean, that’s what everyone does when they don't like someone, nothing wrong with me disliking someone, so stop with your stupid questions.

Let's continue with our journey into the mind and now - imagine your best best best best friend in this world. Ohhh, that's nicer, it feels good now within and as yourself. I understand. BUT, your very best friend has now disagreed with you and a friction manifested; You'll have to become self honest now, to be able to answer the following question: What is the nature of your thoughts towards your best best friend now? What memories from the past did you bring to this moment of friction that have been suppressed until this very moment of friction till you burst all out and took all the shit out.

So you see, I wouldn't trust you as my best friend exactly as I wouldn't trust you if you were my biggest enemy so long as I know what's going on in your secret mind; and the only reason I know what’s going on in your secret mind is because I'm exactly the same as you, within and as the human nature that I've accepted and allowed myself to be and become. Meaning, as long as we THINK, we cannot be trusted and the only way we can be trusted by ourselves and others is when and as we stop thinking.

 

When we say that the human nature cannot be changed, it is ONLY because we don't want to change within and as ourselves, simply because we have never known ourselves otherwise. We believe that we will become zombies if we stop the mind but we never actually decided to test the point for ourselves to see if there is any ground to our belief. I mean, if it comes to the point that you would become zombie when the mind stop and you stop thinking than, go ahead and start thinking again. It is very simplistic.

The only way to make a change in this world, is to first stop our own evil secret mind that continuously think 24/7 non stop. We judge others, we judge even ourselves; we are jealous of others; we compete with everything and everyone for our own limitation; we're spiteful towards each other; would you want to be in relationship with yourself when you SEE very clearly what's going on in your secret mind towards those who are in relationship with you? would you want to be in relationship with others when you KNOW what is the nature of the thoughts they have towards you in a moment of friction? NO! and yet, we accept and allow it.

To be continued with a practical support within and as Self Forgiveness statements and Corrective Commitment - the tools of Stopping the mind and becoming LIFE that is trustworthy.

Establishing Self Trust - Part 1- Day 85

It has been very clear today, within myself, that I've not yet established an absolute self trust within myself and I see now that what ever I worked with thus far, needs to be re-walked when and as self trust will be absolute within and as myself. So, I'm taking a moment to look at Self Trust and the Decision of who I am as the expression of self trust.

From a very young age, within me, there was always a sense of doubt even in times that I've presented myself as clear, stable and comfortable within who and what I am;

In every decision that I've made during my life, it was always in dependency to how others perceive, allow or judge me and only when those component where aligned with my decision, I could experience myself as if I've made the "right" decision and respectively, if the others didn't approve/allowed the decision, I would experience inner turmoil as if I made the "wrong" decision.

It is fascinating how my decisions were always in alignment to the voices in my head where I played all the possible scenes, people, possibilities and have discussion with them, still in my mind, to justify why the decision that I'm about to do is the right thing and I planned in advance their reactions and accordingly, discussed that with them, in my mind, to prepare myself to face the friction/conflict which obviously, it never worked out because in the moment of conflict, I was never stable within and as myself, always defending my decision, trying to prove that I'm right.

I have never considered that doubt can only emerge when and as my decision isn't clear within and as myself as well as not trusting who I am within the decision and stand stable despite of other people opinions and reactions. I have never considered that If I'm planning to make a decision in the future, I'm not in fact changing as the decision was somewhere in the future and only when I decide, I will change. Thus change, wasn't really a part of the equation within the decision making so, did I really ever change or only created a character that have changed one's suit?

So, throughout my life, even when my decision didn't stand the accepted social norms and yet, I've made them, doubt was a constant experience. Like despite of me walking my decisions, still back chats, inner turmoil, inner conversation with other beings in my world was allowed within and as myself which reveal one very obvious point - self trust as who I am, wasn't established/lived which questioned all and every decision that I've made thus far.

And thus, back to the drawing board so to speak and walk the time line of all the decisions that I have ever made allocate the starting point, look at the information that I was working with in order to make a decision, what memories was part of the decision making and accordingly, in self honesty, make sure that I am able to practically stand for eternity, as the decisions as who I am, in self trust, despite of the frictions, conflicts and disagreements that may emerge in my world and my reality.

As I write, I experience nausea just above my solar plexus, more to the heart area and when I spoke the word "fear" the nausea became more dominant which confirm that it is in fact Fear that I'm experiencing.

The fear is in the nature of expecting the worst as part of the decision making because in essence, I'm dealing with changing who I have become to Who I am as Self trust as a decision, that decision of standing in the face of existence as self trust implies that I change, that change, wouldn't necessarily be accepted by the people in my world and my reality and may cause friction and conflict as they will want to keep me as a character - a character of self doubt, indecisionness, inferior so that their world will be safe and sound and none will be forced to change with and as me.

So How has the system supported me in making decision in self doubt and why is it that we were not supported to make decisions within and as the principle of that which is best for all and absolutely trust ourselves within and as who we are, in self trust? And how, to practically assist and support myself to stand in absolute self trust within and as every moment of every breath?

Despite the fact that I've never been really punished as a child, was never physically abused as a child, I've still made my decisions in fear. For me, the emotional manipulation was far worst than a fear of physical abuse/punishment because other's emotions were always my directive principle and I was easily allowed myself to be manipulated/influenced by it.

I was always very reactive to other people body language, emotional reactions and I was willing to diminish and compromise myself for the sake of 'peace' within my relationship dynamics with people in my world and my reality.  But, is it really so? Was it a peace that I was seeking for or the rewarding experience of a 'feeling' good/right? Was the reward a  point that I placed trust in?

It is becoming clear now that I've place trust in anything and anyone who provide for me the experience of reward. Either as energetic experience via a positive affirmation/validation of me or either through a material rewards that I've got because I was apparently "good".

Am I willing to stand in the face of existence, in absolute self trust no matter what may come? In the face of a conflict, friction and disagreement and trust myself within who I am as the directive principle of myself and my world? Am I willing to stand without any energetic movement when and as the other did not agreed with me? Am I willing to Change?

Will continue in my next blog.