Do I have the right to judge myself? - Placing yourself in danger - Hiding and running away - Day 535

For context, please read:

Do you have the right to judge another - Day 531

Do I have the right to Judge myself? Potential consequences #1 - Day 532

Do I have the right to Judge myself? Living in an experience of being controlled - Day 533

Do I have the right to judge myself - Living in fear of being judged by others - Day 534

This will be the last blog post in the series: "Do I have the right to judge myself" where we were looking at the potential consequences that may emerge with us accepting and allowing self-judgement to exists inside ourselves and how to transform the self-judgement to self-honesty in the sense of who you are, what you stand for and what you will and will not accept and allow in your reality.

In this blog thus, we will have a look at the relationship between self-judgement, self-honesty and the experience of wanting to run away? Why Self-honesty is the key to stop the experience of running away and how it will lead to worthwhile relationships with yourself and with your friends/partner/family.

As we previously discussed, sometimes the intensity of self-judgement will lead to the experience of wanting to run away from our environment. Mostly because we feel controlled by the environment and unable to express ourselves without the fear of being judged. Now, I do not need to tell you the risks involved in running away do I?

But this is not so much the consequences that I am referring to. The point that I do want to discuss in this blog post is why reaching your self-honesty can stop the experience of wanting to run away. It is actually a simple point to realize - unless you are clear about who you are and what you stand for, you will find yourself in situations of wanting to run away from one environment to another; always feeling controlled, misjudged and looked down at by your external environment. The moment you are clear and honest about who you are, what you want to create in this life, what you stand for and what you do not, self-judgement will not hold you prisoned in your own environment as you stand as a point of direction and creation no matter where you are and with whom you are.

See, it is never the environment we want to run away from - it is our mind that we want to run away from. Sure, the environment activates the mind programs that gives us the experience of wanting to run away but it is not that the environment puts a gun on our mind and force the mind to participate in these emotions and thought patterns - it was and will be us who give the authority for the mind to take control over our lives and dictate to us who we are.

As explained in the previous blogs, when we run away and "start over", we don't really start over - we are simply supressing the unresolved issues that we have with ourselves (self-judgement for different reasons) and these issues will surface at some stage in the new environment we are with - It will slowly build up and build up until we experience ourselves wanting to run away and start over again.

The solution is to reach a point of self-honesty as challenging as it may be. We'll have to take off the layers of self-judgement, morality, fears, cultural behaviour and so forth and replace it with your life principles that we stand by and as an expression of ourselves. This can take some time but sure is liberating when moving from self-judgement to self-honesty.

Why self-honesty is the key? When we are self-honest, self-judgement doesn't play a role. When self-judgement isn't playing a role, we are no longer projecting blame and judgment towards others, we no longer fear being judged, we no longer feel controlled by others and we no longer experience ourselves wanting to run away.

How to reach a point of self-honesty? For myself, it has been and still is a process. My support structure is the DIP pro course that I am participating with both as a trainee and as a buddy. I strongly recommend having a look and testing the course for yourself. Especially if building effective relationship with yourself and others is something you value.

Thanks.

Emotional Attachment and Physical connection (Part 5) - Day 464

When I started walking the blog series - "Emotional Attachment and Physical connection", I had no idea that what would emerge from this blog series would be an introspection of relationships as a whole. The more I investigate the point, the more I expose myself to what relationship actually is and how relationships are currently lived. In my last blog, I asked myself - 

 

"is it that we fear losing the other being, or is it that we fear losing the Positive Energy Experience? Is it that our relationships to others is based on the type of energy we can draw from them or is it a relationship that is based on a physical connection, where we are able to share and express ourselves with one another?"

 

It is interesting because the reasons why it was relatively "easy" (for a lack of a better word) from the sense of not experiencing so much resistance to open up these points within myself, was due to the starting point being to investigate the reaction towards an animal being sick as oppose to a human being sick. The reason being - the Value we give to a Human in our mind is for the most part greater than the value we give to an Animal (Which is another blog by itself) and so, the resistance to open up the point if it was a human, most likely to be far more intense as oppose to the resistance being in relation to an animal.

 

Obviously this point is extensive as I now see that I require to investigate each and every relationship that I have ever had or still have with individuals. For instance, what I have started doing is to bring the relationship with all its memories here, and see who I am in the relationship to this individual and the memories and then, in side myself I imagine that the being is gone for some reason, and I assess who I am then, when they are no longer in my reality - what energy moves inside myself, what thoughts comes up and so on. Then, I bring everything back here, see again what moves inside myself. This is how I assist and support myself in identifying the Emotional Attachment and Name the Specific Energy that is the starting point of that relationship.

 

Next what I will be doing is assisting and supporting myself to Transform the energy connection to a physical connection where I am able to express/share myself with others as a living physical expression of myself whereas, their presence or absence  in my reality is not dependent on Who I AM as a living expression.

 

So it is going to be an interesting point to walk through, first with myself and then as a physical correction - will share more as I move ahead..

 

 

From Dependency to Independency - Day 439

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to be dependent on another to direct points 'for' me instead of expanding myself by seeing, observing and learning how to effectively direct points, through the example of another. In this, I forgive myself that I've not accepted and allowed myself to realize that by creating a dependency on another to direct points 'for' me, I am limiting myself in the belief that I'm Inferior and unable to effectively direct points myself.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not Trust myself for being able to effectively direct specific points and thus, believed that I'm dependent on another to direct specific points 'for' me and within the distrust of myself, I haven't allowed myself to expand myself, to expand the way I look at things, expand the way I observe people, situations and events and accordingly, develop a direct seeing of what is here and how to effectively direct that which is here as an expression of myself.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to within the belief of not being able to direct a specific situation with another human being, to in fact physically live this belief of myself as my living application which within that, I would accept and allow myself to build up and accumulate energy as emotions such as frustration, resentment, anger and judgment towards the being without realizing that I must first direct these points within myself to ensure that when I look again at the points, I see what is really physically presented here and accordingly, effectively direct the points if/when the point still require direction.

 

I commit myself to when and as I see a point that require direction, to first turn the point back to myself and direct within myself any and all sort of reactions I have towards the point. Then, to unconditionally place myself in the shoes of another and assess whether the point still require direction and if so - direct when the moments present itself.

 

I commit myself to NOT accept and allow myself to limit myself within the belief that I'm not able to effectively direct a point because I realize that within the belief of not being able to direct specific point, I'm giving my power to my mind where I would start accumulating and build up all sort of energetic reactions, which creates a smoke screen from which I'm literally unable to see what is really here, what requires direction and what would be the best approach to/when directing a specific point.
 

I commit myself to no longer accept and allow myself to depend on another to direct points 'for' me but to instead slowly but surely develop direct seeing skills through which I would allow myself to direct points within myself and my environment as an expression of who I am within the principle of 'what is best for all'. I realized that creating dependency towards another to direct points 'for' me is a limitation of myself as I haven't given me the opportunity to face the point myself, investigate who I am in relation to the point ,what can I learn from it so that I could also stand as a point of direction when/if the moment requires direction.

 

Please also listen to – Independence - 2013 - The Future of Consciousness - Part 33

A process to Self Respect and Integrity - Day 366

Walking the process of Self Respect requires me to go back in time and identify the moment that I've made the decision to disrespect myself. Obviously, it is not an easy task because I made sure to suppress that decision so deep down because otherwise, how could I remain consistent with the lack of self integrity and self respect.

What is clear to me now is that to be able to walk in self respect, I cannot trust my mind even in moments where it seems so convincing to follow the thoughts/imaginations/emotions/feelings that comes up. I have followed my mind so many times and in each time, the illusion reality as future projection never met the physical reality and in this, never actually benefited me in anyway whatsoever.

 

What is interesting was the moment when I realized that I fell into the very same pattern was the moment where I promised myself that I will not follow this path again and instantaneously, in a quantum moment, the same pattern emerged only now, it was different sceneries, different people or in other words, different characters. When I investigated the point, I saw that the same had happened throughout my life wherein in one moment I let go of one point, and so suddenly and unexpectedly, a new point emerged, in a quantum time although it is not a 'new' point per say, it just presented itself as a new point while all along, it was just the same ole pattern repeating itself.

 

I see now the mechanics of how the pattern that I was working with was never released unconditionally but instead, mutated itself in a disguised so that it would be difficult to identify and once I've seen that I'm busy generating the energy that this pattern consists of, I decided to stop and write and to for once and for all, accept and allow myself to walk myself to self respect by letting this pattern go unconditionally, a pattern that I've lived as, so long as I can remember myself.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to disrespect myself by accepting and allowing myself to follow my mind and in this, the thoughts, emotions and feelings that I programmed in my flesh throughout my life. In this, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that I was the one who decided to give power to these thoughts, emotions and feelings that I've programmed within myself and within that, also installed the program to "forget" that I was the one who have programmed myself in disrespect or integrity but in this, I now see, realize and understand that I also created myself a door to walk through and step out of this self created cycle through standing up in clarity, self trust, self honesty, respect and integrity.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to disrespect myself by following the repeating thoughts, emotions and feelings that I've placed inside myself and in this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to believe my own self programmed thoughts, emotions and feelings even though the physical reality contradicted and invalidated any of the thoughts, emotions and feelings that came up from within me without my directive will.

 

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to STOP the very moment a thought comes up, a thought that I already knows where it would lead me and who I would become once I decide to follow the thought. In this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to loop again and again based on one single thought that comes up in cycles of times. However within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for following the thought that can only lead to a destructive patterns, after I've seen the consequences of following the thought and within that, I have not accepted and allowed myself to correct the pattern because I was busy judging myself for falling, not realizing that in the very moment I accepted and allowed the judgement, was the moment where I've upgraded my own self programming and so, created a new form of thought as justification and excuses for why it is valid to access the pattern again. Thus, I forgive myself for NOT accepting and allowing myself to humble myself in moments I realize that I have fallen which from there I am able to stand up, investigate and correct myself instead of judging myself and in the judgement, quantumly upgrade the programming to snick in again without my direct awareness.

 

I thus Commit myself to identify the thoughts that had led me to destructive repetitive patterns and accordingly, when and as a thought comes up, I stop, I laugh about it and move on while breathing myself out of the pattern. In this, I commit myself to NOT accept and allow myself to judge myself when the pattern emerge but to instead, change my starting point, align myself, learn and correct myself. I see, realize and understand that it took me decays to program patterns so perfectly within and as myself and therefore, removing patterns requires the same consistent it took me to program patterns from the get go and thus, all I must do is stick to my decision of respecting myself, develop my integrity by stopping my participation with destructive patterns that do not support myself.

 

I commit myself to NOT accept and allow myself to upgrade the pattern but to instead remove the pattern through consistent application of Stopping participation and returning to physical breathing. I now see, realize and understand the extent of repetitive patterns that are layered within me and so I see now how I was the one who directly accepted and allowed my own creation of repetitive patterns as integral part of my self definition and so, I make the commitment to assist and support myself no matter how long it will take till I stop the participation with repetitive patterns that do not support me or others.

Trusting my experience - Day 63

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to trust my past memory experience within the belief that the past experience will repeat itself and according to the energetic charge that I've defined the experience as, I will either feel excitement (if the charge is Positive) or I will feel anxiety/fear (if the charge is negative) and I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that so long as I trust the experience and define Who I am as the experience, I am not living LIFE but rather living my perception of LIFE that is limited to the extent to how I've separated myself from myself and this world as a whole.

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize how limiting it is to only defined myself according to a few feelings/emotions as a reflection to how I've defined the energetic charge such as: excitement or Anxiety/fear as positive and negative respectively, is just a minute and limited expression of who I am as LIFE within and as myself.

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that so long as I give permission to my mind to tell me how to experience any given moment according to the energetic charge of either positive or negative within and as a past memory experience, I'm not in fact LIVING.

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that by holding onto the past memory experiences within an energetic charge, Positive or Negative, I'm limiting my moment to moment living self expression as who I am and within that, not accepting and allowing myself to Physically LIVE so long as I bound-to and prisoning myself within my own self created past memory experiences that control, enslave and direct my expression as Who I am.

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize how the energetic movement within and as my human physical body changes and alters according to the memory experience that I've associated to any given moment meaning - if I experience positive energetic charge within me, there is a memory that is associated to the point I'm facing, a memory experience that I've defined as positive and if I experience a negative energetic charge within me, there is a memory that is associated to the point that I'm facing which I've defined as negative.

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see how within my self, I trust that the a future experience  that I'm expecting to have will manifest exactly as I imagine/plan it to be and within that, not giving myself the permission to practically live as I leave a very small space to experience a real and physical experience than what I wish to experience as a self interest desire and thus, if things go well as expected, I will be satisfied and if something will go 'wrong' I will become frustrated and start to manipulate myself and my environment in the attempt to reach the experience that I've yarn for from the get-go.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to attempt and control an experience within any given moment without seeing, realizing or understanding all the relationships that are involved within my desire for an experience and within that, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that what I'm essentially trying to control is the relationships in my life through shaping, molding and manipulate the beings involved so that I could have my self interest experience manifest according to how I want to experience it and thus they must submit to my wants and needs and provide me with their presence MY experience and if they failed to give me what I want, I will end the relationship and start seeking after for the next relationship that will give me the experience that I'm looking/desiring for.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to trust the emotions/feelings within any given experience and I haven't seen the relationship between the experience and the energetic charge that is aligned/attached/connected with the experience and within that, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize how limited my expression is within any given moment through me attaching/aligning each and every moment to a past memory experience that I have defined within and as energetic charge, either positive or negative and accordingly, move and direct myself as the experience instead of walking breath by breath, here, and letting go energetic experience connection after connection until it is done.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to have refused to give-up my trust in a mind energetic experience and to instead, establish self trust that is based on a practical physical realty within my breath by breath living application.

I commit myself to be attentive to any single energy movement within and as my human physical body - Positive and Negative and to investigate the origin/source/core of the energy movement as I see, realize and understand that any energetic movement is in direct relationship to an experience that I've defined myself according to, that is limiting my self living expression within and as the physical reality.

I commit myself to investigate each and every energetic experience that I've programmed myself throughout my life to define myself as and respectively, stop my participation within and as energy, Positive and Negative within a breath by breath process, until it's done and I'm absolutely aligned to the physical that consist of and exists as all that is here in oneness and equality.

I commit myself and give permission to myself to LIVE as who I am within and as my self expression and to stop dictating my life according to experience that I dearly trusted thus far and to instead, establish absolute self trust within and as myself in any given moment.

I commit myself to walk memory experience by memory experience within a process of self forgiveness in self honesty and to delete all association/definitions/connections that I've accepted and allowed within and as myself because I see, realize and understand that so long as I accept and allow the experience to tell me who I am and within that, abdicated my responsibility to move and direct myself breathe by breathe, I'm not in fact LIVING life that is best for all but rather attempt and try to live the LIFE that is best for me in absolute inconsideration to everything and everyone.

I commit myself to stop direct and move myself according to an expected experience and within that, stop existing within a polarity that is defined according to the velocity of the energetic charged that I've charged myself with.

I commit myself to face within myself, in writing the experiences that I've defined within a negative charge and have thus, tried to avoid and suppress the experience so that I won't have to face, investigate, correct and change because I see and realize that so long as I allow myself to avoid and suppress, I'm not in fact that directive principle of myself and my world as I'm bound to how the mind direct me, in separation of me.

Art Design – Sally Wiseman

No one Considers me!!!! - Day 33

Art by Scott Cook

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to access a possession of self victimization when and as I perceive that I haven't been considerate by another and what ever the other is saying to me is not being heard by me within that moment as I totally disregards any form of common sense because at that moment of possession all I can hear in my mind saying: "ME... ME... I... I... ME... ME... I wasn't considerate".

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to become reactive within anger, frustration and hatred when and as I perceive someone to not consider me and I haven't realized that accessing those emotions will not be of any assistance within and as directing that which require direction or letting go that which required letting go.

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to hear common sense that is shared with me when I access self pity and self victimization because all I want to do is to justify and validate why I'm allowed to be angry and furies and if the person who I'm sharing my anger with isn't give me the validation but instead standing stable and pushing common sense, I get emotionally possessed even more till I cry as the last change to manipulate through tears, so that I would finally be recognized as the victim and within that, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to be self honest about the source/origin/core reason of crying as a way to manipulate others to relate, agree and validate my anger/frustration and even though I questioned myself for the reason I cry and I couldn't find the reason, I haven't pushed myself to become self honest even with myself to see the manipulation origin/core/source point and thus, abdicated my responsibility to be the directive principle of myself and my world by not taking any shit from myself.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to disregard common sense when I'm in a moment of possession in the nature of self victimization/pity and thus, compromised myself within walking a time loop until I get to the point of self responsibility where I finally Stop, and direct myself to not accept any shit from myself.

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see the self interest starting and directive principle which I've allowed myself to walk as throughout my life where only I must be heard and only I must be considered and when those needs do not meet the physical reality, I'm reacting in anger, frustration and fury and will then thus, do what ever it takes to get everyone eventually do what ever I wanted them to do for me through all kind of manipulations and means.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to feel proud at myself for being a person who will always get what I want and through proudness I've missed the obvious that - If I'm able to fight for my self interest and do what ever it takes to get what I want, I'm more than able to do the same for the entire world from the starting point of what is best for all and then thus, walking self interest will transform to walking what's best for all through the realization that what is best for all IS best for me as I'm part of the all.

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself as the basic nature of self interest wherein I will fight and go against anything that is not with my best self interest and within that, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to within the fight for my own self interest, I have NOT consider everyone and everything equally and allowed a world that is full of self interest beings that are fighting against each other without looking at the obvious that when we walk according to that which is best for all and change ourselves to beings that consider everyone and everything, we can establish a world that is honourable and worthy for all.

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to walk breath by breath by breath and instead, accepted and allowed moments of possessions where I've perceived that my self interests needs are not being met while the fact of the matter was that if I would stop for a moment and look at the entire equation, I was the one who haven't considerate others and thus common sense living application as what is best for all was not applied.

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that changing the world will not be an easy task as there would be many beings that will perceive the change as not being considerate towards them because of the inherent pre-programming of self interest however, what is not understood is that the out come of a change such as the Equal Money System is that it is what is in fact best for ALL as that will allow all being on earth to have a dignified LIFE, no one will never starve, the earth resources won't be abused by the name of profit and will be distributed equally, everyone will have free access to education, health care, housing and much more.

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that there would be many people who will reject and fight against the Equal Money System because they will feel that their needs are not met as and thus, an equality system doesn't considerate their self interest however, I allow myself to stand in the face of resistance and keep on going breath by breath towards that which is absolute BEST for all in all ways possible and I realise that it will time take and a process or re-education until all could see that What is best for all IS the ultimate consideration of everything and everyone as equal beings that has the rights for equality from birth to death.

I commit myself to stop my base nature desire of self interest and transform self interest to best for all interest.

I commit myself to transform my nature to best for all nature where I consider everyone and everything equally.

I commit myself to walk the living expression of the principle of do onto another that which you'd like to be done to you and I commit myself to stand as an example despite of the nature of others who will try and exploit me as the living expression of principles that is best for all due to generation after generation of self interest based programming because who I am isn't define by other beings actions/reaction but who I am is a direct reflection of that which I allow and accept from myself and others as the physical living application.

I commit myself to educate the children of this world to be an become the living example of the principles that are best for all

I commit myself to stand despite of the resistance to change from those who will regard the Equal Money System as not being considerate to them and I trust my to walk as the trust of my breathing as long as I alive, breath by breath by breath.

I commit myself to show, explain and demonstrate why the Equal Money System is in fact a system that I best for all LIFE as accumulation of the units/individuals that forms this life.

I commit myself to show and expose my own process of how I assisted and supported myself to transform self interest application to what's best for all living application through self writing, self forgiveness and self immediate and physical correction, and I will prove to all the a change that is best for all IS possible.

I commit myself to use and utilize my human physical body as a cross reference point when walking self correction so that if for example I'm working with emotional possession which cause a throat pain, I speak the words: "This is not acceptable, I'm not allowing this shit from myself, I do not allow and accept myself to remain possessed, I'm the directive principle and I move myself to STOP and thus, I stop the possession, here, Now, pain stop" and if the pain stopped, I confirmed the correction and the pain hasn't stop, I push myself further within self honesty and self trust. 

please watch my vlog:

How to stand when the Mind Protests - Journey to Life

http://youtu.be/IM7sS4uWfVs