The Rewards and Justifications of the Secret Agent Character (Part 2) - Day 263

In the Previous blog: The Rewards and Justifications of the Secret Agent Character (Part 1) - Day 262, we had a look at a few dimensions with regards to the Secret Agent Character. Within this blog, we will turn the point back to ourselves to see the correlation between a Secret Agent within the world system and the Secret Agent of one's mind. however note - for the purposes of having a context to the following, I suggest to first read the previous blog before continuing.

 

We always know, and we can always trace it back (when we slow ourselves down), to the exact and specific moment that of any decision we had made and within that, see  in self honesty what justifications and excuses we had utilized to CONvinced ourselves to make the decision.

For instance, as I've shared in the blog: Just another Drama Queen - Day 258 an event/Memory that I participated with, when I was 10 years old. When I slowed myself down, I could see quite clearly everything that moved within my mind and specifically, the fact that I knew, already at age 10 years old, while fully participating in the event described, that I was deceiving myself and others to be able to get the Attention that I was seeking for and thus, I deliberately kept on going despite of seeing myself deceiving and manipulating the moment. Why? For the Reward that I was after, as an Experience of feeling cared for as well as being in the Centre of everyone's attention. How I have justified it within and as myself was - "well, everyone are already here, so what difference does it make if I stop now".

 

Another example which some may relate to is Cheating. Let's say one is having a secret crush towards someone that is in a relationship. Within ourselves, we know and we can  directly see that going after this person isn't what is best for all because obviously, there are people that would get hurt from this. Also, within the principle of 'do to another that which you'd like to do to you' - who would want to be cheated on? no one. And yet - we allow ourselves to be participate with cheating.

 

However, within ourselves, the crush is slowly but surely override common sense and accumulate to a point where we lose control (because we feed the desire/crush by giving it constant attention through our thoughts participation) and we will act on it, either physically or mentally. In both cases, we would justify why it is ok to participate with this pattern/personality/behaviour on a physical level or in our imaginary/mind domain.

And why would we do such things? Why would we diminish our awareness and bury our self honesty deep in the ground? Why would we disregard the Consequences we see our decision would lead to? Because we are going to get something - a Reward, an Experience. The Reward, the Experience would be then now, our directive Principle. within that context, I suggest listening to the following interviews:

Life Review - A Cheater in my Mind

Life Review - My Life of Cheating

I Liked Married Men - Life Review

 

But let's take an example of something most people would relate to - Mind Cheating.

Meaning - in self honesty, can you tell me, that you have never, ever, ever, ever had thoughts about someone else while being in a relationship? While having Sex? Didn't have any Fantasy about another human beings that isn't your partner? Well, it is a rhetorical questions - everyone knows what I'm talking about. However, the real question is: How did you justify it for yourself? Did you say something like - "it is innocent, it's not that I'm going to cheat on my partner, I love my partner, it doesn't harm anyone when it's in my mind only" but doesn't it really? can you stand accountable, for eternity, that the thoughts that you have about another human being won't harm anyone? Here, self honesty is required. What did you accepted and allowed yourself to participate with thoughts about another that isn't your partner? What have you gained from it? again - a reward, an Experience - Excitement, Special, High..

 

I will leave you for a moment to take a look within yourself and find examples in the context of your Life where you acted as the Secret Agent, justifying for yourself what it was Ok, and within that, have a look at what have you gain from it.

 

Within the next blogs to come, we will continue looking at the correlation between the Secret Agent within the world system, and the Secret Agent within our Minds and within that, explore, investigate the purpose, reasons and consequences for one's acceptance and allowance of Secret Agents - as within, so without.

The Rewards and Justifications of the Secret Agent Character (Part 1) - Day 262

 

 This is a continuation to: The Secret Agent in the Mind - Day 261

 

So, looking more in depth at the Secret Agent Character, both in the world system and in one's mind and specifically, to understand why it is that we won't allow ourselves to really Give up the Mind and Change for Real.

To do so, we can have a look at the Experience of the Secret Agent character and then, to turn it to back to ourselves which may lead us one step further to the understanding of the core/main/source/origin point of our unwillingness to change.

 

As I've stated yesterday, the way I see a Secret Agent character:

 

"The Secret Agent is one who is Reacting to what one sees in one's Environment/world that one had defined as unacceptable and within that reaction, one will go against the System, within the justification that one is fulfilling one's purpose, one is doing what needs to be done, that which no one else will dare doing and thus, one is special, Divine and Heroic. "

 

What the Secret Agent failed to understand is One's responsibility within the creation of the system which the agent is a direct part of. The Agent, defines and categorizes the system as unacceptable, wrong, bad, faulty, etc. and within that, separate oneself from the actuality of being of, as and co-creator of the system. Why? And what is it that none of the Secret Agents that exists in this world didn't change anything for the better of the human race and if anything, only perpetuate the abuse, the suffering and the crime that existent in this world. Now, for those of you who would disagree with the above statement - I understand. I really am. You probably think that the job of the secret agent is essential and that without them, the world would even be worse. I was one of you, wanting to hold onto the innocence that there are guardian angels in this world that keeps us safe but fortunately, I was able to move through the blinded hope and investigate these points to be able to see what lies beyond that which meets the eyes so to speak. 

 

If you read the book - Confessions of an Economic Hit Man by John Perkins, you would see the Unspoken inner truth of every Secret Agent - they are very much aware of their accountability for the consequences they take part with and within that, they are aware in most, if not at all times to the actuality of what they accept and allow both within themselves and within the world system. One of the things that keeps them moving against their own inner self awareness and self honesty is for instance, the rewards they receive for their 'respectful' loyalty to the Government or/and Agencies.

They would justify to themselves why it is ok to accept the bribes they receive even when they know exactly the extent of harm that such 'rewards' are causing.

 

To be able to be a Secret agent, one must proves one's loyalty to the Government or/and to the Agency and/or cause because otherwise, one would be removed and 'removed' means - gone, diminished, complete 'disappearance'. Thus, what is it then, that sustain one's loyalty? Fear. (We would see in blogs to come the correlation between the Fear as the Directive Principle of the Secret Agent and the Fear as the Directive Principle of self as the mind. so for now, keep this point in mind because we will come back to it in a later stage.)

 

Also, another point that we are going to have a look at is the 'Targeting System' both in relation to the Secret Agent if the agent dare to Question the Employee/Agency/Government/cause and the 'Targeting System' when One dare to Question one's mind. Note that, the Targeting System is a Direct Divertive of the Fear that I mentioned above, which I will expand on in Blogs to come. (and if you cannot wait to the blog where I'll open up this point, you can go ahead and listen to the Quantum Systemization Interview Series that explains these system that keeps one enslaved to one's own Mind.)

 

In the Next blog, I will show the Secret Agent in the Mind in relation to the Rewards and justifications, in correlation to the points that were discussed here.

 

 

The Secret Agent in the Mind - Day 261

I was looking today at the Secret Agent character as this character reveal itself in the Dream I had last night and as I was looking at the Character and who I am as the character, I've seen the following:

 

The Secret Agent is one who is Reacting to what one sees in one's Environment/world that one had defined as unacceptable and within that reaction, one will go against the System, within the justification that one is fulfilling one's purpose, one is doing what needs to be done, that which no one else will dare doing and thus, one is special, Divine and Heroic.

 

However, what one had not realized is that in essence, Reacting to a problem does not solve the problem but only perpetuate the gap, the separation, the inner and outer conflict instead of walking according to the Prevention Principle, standing from and as the system through which a change would be both internally and externally possible. The test of time shows and proven that Secret services and Secret Agents never in fact supported practically in bringing about a substantial change with an outcome that is best for all. Secret Services is ONLY done within the Principle of Self Interest, to benefit oneself or a handful amount of people while the Majority is being ignored, abused and compromised.

 

When I turn this back to myself, I see that I've programed and created myself as a Secret Agent within my own mind, always moved and directed myself according to my Secret agendas in self interest to fulfil my desires wants and needs. And even then, the test of time showed and proved that nothing of that which I wanted was actually manifested the way I wanted it to be which then one must ask the question - where I was 'wrong' within my application because obviously, the way I walked my life wasn't working. however instead of investigating my starting points and what was really that I wanted and desired, I kept on looping the same patterns over and over again while the only thing that was changing was the characters that acted in the Scenes that I created within and as my mind.

 

What was not addressed, investigated and questioned was: "What do I want"?

What I see, realize and understand thus far is - that which I perceived that I want, was conditioned and controlled by my pre-program design that I've created within and as myself throughout my life which was a direct influence by my Culture, Environment, Family, friends, Media, etc.

When existing according to one's preprogram design, we are actually trying to create ourselves a future that was already written by us in a very limited version of what the future can be because our frame of reference is our mind. we would try and live out our wants, needs and desires based on our self interest patterns and within that, won't allow ourselves to expand and empower ourselves in being able to assess in absolute and unconditional self honesty what is really best for all in every given moment and Live ONLY that which is best for all; and therefor, letting go of the desire of something that I want without even understanding what I want is quite a mind fuck.

 

So for instance, giving up the desire for relationship, doesn't mean that I won't have a relationship if an opportunity to a relationship would present itself and in self honesty I  would see that walking into such relationship would result in the best for all outcome. Because, when looking into my secret mind, the desire for a relationship for instance is very much existent and it influences every decision I make. I would plan my future not within the context of what and where and obviously within that who I am, stand in my utmost potential to bring about that which is really important - a change within and without but I would rather accept and allow myself to plan and brew events that may lead to the self interest desired outcome and within it all, wouldn't not really consider the beings that would be influenced by my inner plans I so desirably scheming to manifest. I would even justify the repetition of the same Life path in the decision that I make within the statement: "But this time it is different, I have changed, they have changed, I will not make the same mistakes, I must give it ago" and yet, the same repeat itself, time after time again while the only thing that is changing is the picture that I store in my mind. but till here no further.

 

And then comes the Trust - which is a big issue as Trust as how I understood trust thus far, was always within the context of trusting the system, trusting my intuition, the mind, the thoughts, feelings and emotions but that isn't a real Self trust - it is a trust that is based on separation, on deception and on what I want to trust instead of what is in fact physically real, substantial and best for all which in most or even all cases, won't stand in alignment to my self interest desires, wants and needs. So here is also to investigate how to redefine self interest to stand in alignment to what is best for all which within that context, the word that must be looked and investigated is the word 'Self' within the principle of oneness and equality that consists of and exists as EVERYTHING. In that context, Self is not only me, as my mind, as how I see myself through the mind  expression. 'Self' is Everything that exists and thus, includes me as well. This is why everything start with SELF change because unless I, self, change, there is no way the SELF that exists as Everything that is here would change. Which thus put the term: 'self interest' in a new light - instead of walking according to the interest of one's individuality in separation from everything and everyone, one walk according to the interest of Self that consists of and exists as everything that is here which then the interest serve and stand in alignment to the principle of 'best for all'

 

Will continue with my introspection within tomorrow's blog.

For now, I suggest reading Marlen's blog: Can Self Interest be Common Sense?

Taking responsibility for my creation - Day 96

This is a continuation to the Blog post:

The Self Diminishment Character - Day 94

They are Better than me, I'm so fucked up - Day 95

I commit myself to show how the starting point of each single character that we have created within and as ourselves serve one purpose only - Self Interest Desire for an experience that only through becoming the character, equal and one, Self is able to gain the experience and within that, disregarding the Life that is here as who Self Is as self is busy bouncing from one character to another according to what suit self the Best in order to survive in any given moment.

I commit myself to show that the cycle of the Self Diminishment Character will work and function in absolute perfection within and as ourselves where we will bounce from a Negative Energy charge to a Positive Energetic charge and back to the Beginning (to the Negative and the Positive to the Negative) where all of which can only exists within and as our permission to Compare ourselves to the Idea/Picture that we have created in our mind of who and what we should have been within the picture, and we will compare ourselves to other people in our lives to make sure that our Self Diminishment and Sabotage cycle will always remain intact and in place. 

I commit myself to kill the Self Diminishment Character within and as myself as I realized that I was the one who decided to create myself as the Self Diminishment character. I realized that to expand and grow myself through the example of others that have walked the time line to develop their skills to be and become an effective human being within themselves and this world, I must stop all participation within and as comparison and competition as those are just more characters that I've created as myself to protect myself as the character that I've become, in self interest, in separation and till here no further.

I commit myself to show that the decision to be and become the self Diminishment character was made by me through my acceptance and allowance of thoughts and back chat to be and  become my directive principle as that was what I was taught by those who have come before me to always protect and defend my own self interest of survival. I see and realize that I was the one who have accepted the teaching and the example of others and have thus accepted the Comparison and competition characters to exists within and as me and thus, I stand here, in full awareness of why and how I've created myself in the nature of self interest to protect my survival of and as characters and from this moment onwards, I commit myself to assist and support myself, by dissecting each and every memory that had led me to the decisions that I've made in absolute separation and ignorance and to thus, assist and support myself to delete the memories by standing equal to and one as the memories, delete them, breath by breath until I'm purified from my own enslavement that I've trapped myself from the beginning and stand up as LIFE that is best for all.

I commit myself to Show that our fight for our self interest Survival within which we will always compare and compete with one another, will never be the solution for the creation that we all as one created and thus, it is the time to stop competing, stop comparing and stand together within the realization that it was always US who have created ourselves and this existence in separation from ourselves and LIFE as ourselves and it will be US who will re-create our Creation as LIFE as Ourselves when we accept and allow ourselves to kill our Characters that we have created in order to trap ourselves within and as our creation because the consequences of the game/movie that we have created is devastating and must be stopped and thus, from here on - the rule of the game must change - Equality and Oneness as what is best for all will and must be our guideline, our principle that we will stand as for eternity, to ensure a LIFE that is in fact best for all.

They are Better than me, I'm so fucked up - Day 95

This is a continuation to the Blog post:

The Self Diminishment Character - Day 94

 

Within this Blog, I will Walk the Process of Self Forgiveness:

 

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand how and why I've created myself within and as the Self Diminishment Character as a data base for multiple Characters that I can choose from that will suit me the best in every given moment to serve One purpose only - My own Self Interest within and as a desire for an experience, either Positive or Negative.

 

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see how I've created the Diminishment character within and as myself through an idea that I've created in my mind of who and what I should be in any given moment and as long as the picture/idea in my mind doesn't match the physical reality, I will not be satisfied with myself and within that, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that my own dissatisfaction from myself is through comparing myself to the idea/picture in my mind through projecting the idea/picture onto other people in my environment wherein through those people, I will activate the Cycle where I access self diminishment through first becoming Jealousy, then spiteful in finding fault in them, move to elevate myself for a moment until I go back to comparison, self diminishment, jealousy, spitefulness and the cycle continue. Thus, I commit myself to when and as I see myself accessing the comparison towards another human being, to sustain the idea/picture I hold within myself in my mind, to STOP, Breathe, and to not accept and allow myself to follow the back chat, move through the character, delete the idea/picture that I have about myself in my mind and Stand Here, as who I am, as Life that is here.

 

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself see and realize how I've manifested the Diminishment character wherein I will first create and idea as picture in my mind of who and what I should become and who and what I see myself within my world and my environment; when a being in my environment challenge my perception of myself as the idea/picture in my mind, I immediately access comparison and competition with that person, not seeing, realizing and understanding that this being is standing as a mirror of my own comparison toward myself to the idea/picture I have about myself in my mind. and thus, because I haven't realized that I'm comparing myself to myself and I believe that it is all about the other person, I access jealousy; when and as I'm in this LOW and NEGATIVE energy charge, I will seek for ways to balance that emotions and elevate myself through finding faults within and as the other human being based on past memories that I hold onto them for that exact moment where I could use the memory against them, to create a positive feeling. But than, as I push myself to find the fault, there is a voice within and as me that remind me that I have failed an thus a failure, how wrong and unworthy I am and so - I go back to the Negative emotional charge but of course, I will not allow myself to stay there and I'll keep on looking for faults in the other being so that I can access the positive energetic charge again until… the experience of "I'm so bad, I'm unworthy, they are better than me" is in complete possession and I've absolute integrated with and as the diminishment character.

 

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that for the Self Diminishment Character to Exists, the Comparison and Competition Character must Exist and I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realize that I've been missing a critical point all along - Instead of comparing and competing with other beings in my world and my reality, I'm able to expand and grow myself through Learning from other people within the understanding that in order to develop the skills that those whom I compare myself with has, I require to walk a time Line in space/time physical reality. Within that, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to create my self existence within and as the Diminishment Character and within that, enslaved and trapped myself within and as a infinite cycle where I will never see, realize and understand Who I am and my utmost potential as a Physical Living Human Being as I was busy comparing myself to others, not giving myself the possibility to in fact expand and grow myself through others that are standing as an example of who I am able to be and become within and as the principle of Oneness and Equality.

 

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that so long as I give myself the permission to diminish myself within and as my mind and within that, not accepting and allowing myself to grow and expand myself as a Physical Living Human being, I will remain trapped within and as my own mind not ever be able to step out of my mind as I'll be busy judging myself and be hard on myself and never in fact change.

 

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize the cycle of Self Sabotage that I've created within and as the Self Diminishment Character wherein, instead of standing within and as a principle of Oneness and Equality and learn from the people in my environment, that have proven that change is possible through a decision that that they have made to assist and support themselves to step out of their character and become LIFE that is best for all, I had allowed myself to compare myself to them within the attempt to WIN my validation, gratification and glorification without ever realizing that I can Never be more than who I am, I can never be More than who others are and that within and as this game/movie that we have created within and as a decision that we have made very long time ago to trap ourselves for eternity to and as our mind, the only solution is to wake us all up, stand together in Equality and Oneness and change who and what we have become according to ONE principle - that which is best for all within which, we'll stand up together and change our creation to and as LIFE that is Equally best for all.