How comparison can compromise your health (Part 1) Day 485

As a child in a primary school, I didn't like sport classes because I wasn't naturally good in sport in comparison to the other kids in the class. We always had to compete with one another and I used to feel inadequate in these moments. What I disliked the most was the fact that I knew that I will have to compete with my peers and most likely that I will lose or at least not at the top of the list - this didn’t support the negative experiences that I came with to sport classes.

 

When time passed by and my menstruation started, 2 physical pressure points emerged -

1. I started experiencing lower back pain
2. I became Anemic

With having lower back pain and being physically weak due to the anemia, sport class became a complete nightmare because the pain and the physical weakness perpetuated the negative experiences in participating in sport class.

 

I went to see an orthopedic to give me a waiver from specific parts of sport class - the parts that I wasn't naturally good at  in comparison to my peers. I presented the case in such a way where I connected aerobic sport to my lower back pain so between me and myself, I knew that I manipulated the doctor to come to the conclusion that I must be excused from some of the sport activities but I didn't expect the doctor to fall into the trap so absolutely and give me a full pass from sport class. Obviously, I didn't challenge his decision because I was happy with not having to go to sport class at all. Afterwards, I went to see a gynecologist to support me with the real problem - the hormonal imbalance that started with menstruation  that contribute to the lower back pain and the Anemia. These two points got sorted with medication back in the days.

 

 It is interesting to noticed how the mind mutates and manipulates points - at some point in time, I actually believed the  orthopedic assessment: 'running = lower back pain' to be real to the extent of eventually believing that aerobic sport was the cause of my back problems even though, commonsensically it could not have been the cause because I was no longer doing any sport and yet, the lower back pain manifested every month, before and during the menstruation days up until the point that I got medication for the hormonal imbalance.

I must say that before the medication, the lower back pain was extensive - once a month, every month, I couldn't move, I couldn't walk and the memory imprint of the pain remained inside of me for quite some time though as I mentioned above, I connected the pain with sport so when ever I had to run or be physically active, the memory of the pain came up and I was worried that the pain will manifest again to that degree where I cannot walk/move.

 

Over the years, my doctor changed my medication and slowly reduced the hormonal dose intake. eventually, I decided to test my body without any hormonal medication and after some tests,  the doctor agreed that it won't do any harm to test how the body will cope without medication. The monthly back pain returned but it wasn't to the extreme it was before - it was something that I could manage without having to take medication. It was suggested to me to do Yoga but with my relationship to sport and especially when it comes to a group scenario where I compared myself to others, I experience resistance to Yoga.

 

Though, I pushed myself to give Yoga a go and I was fortunate to have a Yoga instructor that I could relate to and be supported to move through the 'hard' phase into the 'enjoyable' phase of Yoga. I practiced Yoga 3-4 times a week and after a very short time, I suddenly noticed that my lower back pain cease to exist. My lower back problem was for the most part, due to a weakness in the core muscles of my body and with strengthening these core muscles with Yoga, the pain went away till these day even though I no longer practice Yoga very often. Interestingly enough, my belief that 'Sport = lower back pain' still remained  because I didn't see Yoga as sport but as a physical support. To me Sport was only in the context of aerobic exercise.

 

Will continue in my next blog

 

 

 

 

Comparison and Limitation of Self (The Solution) - Day 447

In the previous blog we were looking at a scenario of reacting, either internally or externally, to a decision that we have made, in comparison to a decision that another had made.

We have identified that the reactions is coming from a point of comparison that had led to a judgment that we have created towards ourselves and/or another. We also identified that the reaction indicates that there is unresolved issue within ourselves in relationship to the decision we originally made as for instance, to stand in a certain position within the world system.

 

Within this blog, we would have a look at solutions for when/as we react to another's decision in comparison to a decision we have made within ourselves to that we can transform the reaction to a point of empowerment and support for self and others.

 

Here it is fundamentally important to realize that a Judgment is all about misunderstanding and/or miscommunication.

I mean, when/as we compare another's decision to a decision that we have made previously inside ourselves, and we then judge another, either positively or negatively, we are basing the comparison and the judgment upon database of information that we carry within ourselves without any consideration of placing ourselves in the shoes of another, walking with another, but rather, placing ourselves in separation of another.

What is also imperative to realize here is that Judgment IS a reaction and as such, it is firstly to look and investigate self before projecting the judgment onto another.

So thus, the solution is within communication. Why? - Firstly, we reacted. That means that there is unresolved point within ourselves that we haven't yet investigated/considered/understood before. Now, communication can be either with oneself, within the point of self writing in assisting and supporting self to look at the dimensions one had previously missed. Secondly, within the realization that a judgment is equal to lack of understanding, it is suggested to communicate with the other, ask questions, really being 'here' and allow oneself to unconditionally Listen to the other as the other may considered point that we haven't considered before, that could be valid for our own individual process.

 

You see, we cannot compare another's decision to a decision we made within ourselves without having all the information because what is normally comes up in one's mind is a projection of the doubts/fears/uncertainties that we have in relation to the decision. Here, it is no longer about another's decision; it is about ourselves, about who we are in any given moment and if we are not stable within the decision that we have made, it is our responsibility to find out why is it that we haven't yet allocated our stability - what is it that we have missed, what is the nature of the doubt/insecurity/fear that we suppressed within ourselves.

 

So - if and when you make a decision, you want to be clear within yourself so that nothing is moving inside yourself in relation to a decision. Again, this is a point of self honesty. A suggestion here is to - when making any decision, to look at all the scenarios that the decision may lead you - you want to stand absolute in any of these scenarios. You will find that you'll have specific preference in how you envision the outflow of your decisions however, you must stand clear and stable if the outflow would not be in alignment to your preferences.

Then, walk your self forgiveness process to ensure that there no more doubts/fears/insecurities that would influence you later down the line and from there, move to your commitment statements to  write the path before you wherein you'll remain stable no matter what would come in your way.

Comparison and limitation of Self (The problem) - Day 446

Have you ever found yourself comparing your decision to decisions that other made? Have you ever validated or invalidated your decision in comparison to a decision another had made? Have you ever judged another for a decision they have made, in comparison to your life ? If you have - this blog is for you.

 

One of the things we do best is to compare and judge others. Seldom do we stop and look at the greater picture; rarely do we stop and clarify the point within ourselves; a judgment is made in a quantum moment within our mind and for most part, it feels so real that we tend to believe that the judgment is valid and from there we would either see ourselves as more than or less than the person whom we judged.

 

Within this blog, I would specifically look at the point of judging another, in comparison to a decision that the other had made where, one would try to diminish the other, both internally and/or externally within the attempt of convincing oneself that self is better than another within the polarity of 'I am Right' and 'You are Wrong'; What we would see is that secret can of worms lies underneath the comparison and judgment that one is trying to suppress within oneself.

 

So let's look at an example where we have made a decision to stand within a specific position within the world system but there is still doubts, insecurities and fears within us regarding the decision that we have made; We are walking the practical steps within the realm of the decision that we have made but now, a friend of us is standing in the face of  what seemingly seems to be a similar decision, of standing in a specific position within the world system only that our friend, at the end of the day, had made the decision to not stand within that specific position.

 

Here is where Self-Honesty comes in - if we reacted in anyway whatsoever to the fact that our friend did not make the same decision that we had previously made, it is an indication of an unresolved point within ourselves in relation to the decision that we had originally made. This means that the decision that we have made is not absolute and we are unclear within ourselves and therefore, a friction and conflict is created within us. The friction and conflict would lead us to one of many paths - for instance:

• We would try to convince the friend that they have made the wrong decision.
• We would stand back/give up on our initial decision and justify to ourselves that backing up/giving up on what we initially decided is valid because our friend knows better than we do.

• We would perceive ourselves  as better than our friend and within that, diminish/limit our friend's decision/expression so that we could feel better about ourselves.

If we were clear and certain about our initial decision, nothing would have moved inside ourselves when another made a decision that is in misalignment to the decision we originally had made. Meaning, when one is making a clear decision within oneself - it doesn't matter what one is facing and/or what another is doing, one would remain so absolute and stable within one's decision. Thus, when a reaction to a decision that one had made is coming up, it is imperative that one would stop for a moment, allocate one's starting point, investigate and explore oneself to ensure realign one's starting point.

 

So, thus far we have looked at a reaction to a decision that we have made and in the next blog we would explore solutions as points to consider when investigating one's reactions within the starting point of assisting and supporting oneself to stand stable within oneself and one's world.

 

 

How to use Comparison in a constructive way - Day 379

About a year ago, I wrote the blog Inadequacy, failure and self judgement - part 1 - Day 30 where I dealt with comparing myself to someone who I perceived to be more effective than me, better than me and through comparing myself to this person, I defined myself as inadequate and a failure as a point of extreme self judgement and sabotage. These are some of the commitment I have written down in that specific blog:

 

"I commit myself to stop comparing my process to other being processes as I realize that I'm walking my own process that has nothing to do with other people.

 

I commit myself to stop defining myself according to other people."

 

In the past month, I started walking a new journey that requires my full attention, focus and responsibility and within that, I had to realign my time, adjust myself to different working hours and to still manage to walk through my previous responsibilities. Obviously, I got all the support I required to walk this point as effective as possible and the only point that I wasn't consistent as much as I would like to was my daily writing. I found myself struggling with this point because practically and physically, I could have spend another hour to do my writings but instead, I justified for myself that it has been a long day and I should go to rest now. And you know, there were days that I only slept 3 hours so here, I'm perfectly ok with not having my writing done as I must also take care of my physical human body and get it to rest but there were also other days where I could write but instead, I justified for myself that it has been a long day and it's cool to instead watch one episode of a TV series for instance. Here is where I found myself in an inner conflict where my desire to take a moment to watch something override common sense and my own commitment of walking in every moment according to what is best for all and within that, having my writing done is a point I define as best for all as it is the ultimate self support I am able to gift to myself and through which, I expand my moment to moment stability so that I can stand as a pillar of support for others.

 

So, last night, it was one of these days where I wanted to justify for myself why it is ok that I won't follow my own commitment of daily writing but instead, take the time for entertainment. But in self honesty, I couldn't pull it through by accepting my own justifications and limitation and thus, I decided to look at the person I compared myself to a year ago from the perspective of seeing the example this person is standing as, what can I learn from this person and how can I practically support myself in walking the time line that made this person effective within themselves. As I looked at the point, I realized it is all about a decision one is making within oneself and within that, the decision to walk one's own self commitment, self will and dedication in any given moment. From here, all I had to do was to  breath in, breath out, make a stance within myself and walk my commitment of daily writing. So yes, if it means that I won't get to entertain myself for a while to ensure that my commitment to myself is met then so be it because at the end of the day, I have to live with myself and personally, I prefer living by knowing that I've done everything possible to make a change within myself and this world and I mean, we have only one life to do so, so why not make the best (for all) out of it?

 

This is a simply example of how to transform destructive competition and comparison between oneself and another into a point of constructive application. When one compare oneself to another, all it means that another is standing as an example of what one perceives oneself as lacking and so, with a decision and practical application, one is able to utilize the example of another and walk the necessary steps to become the point one would previously saw oneself as lacking, inadequate and/or a failure and to accordingly, expand, empower and grow oneself into a being that is trustworthy through a practical and physical application.

 

 

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And again… - Day 276

Today I've noticed an interesting Design that I've accepted and allowed myself to participate with. In the last few days, I was resonantly possessed. I didn't slow myself down enough to specify the possession in assisting and supporting myself to step out of it and thus, it had slowly but surely accumulated till there was no more excuses and justification to not sort this out.

 

It all started last week when we had a power cut for 3 days and I couldn't participate with my regular daily responsibilities which caused a lag throughout this week, after the power came back. I'm still pushing to catch up on all the points but I haven't got to everything because my normal routine is quite hectic in itself and to add to this 3 days of no work is almost impossible but absolutely doable.

 

Yesterday, around the evening, the possession started kicking in  but I was so busy that I couldn't find a moment to investigate it properly. I had an idea of what it is all about but I haven't made the directive decision to in fact step out of it but instead, decided to suppress it for a moment without considering the consequences that would manifest with such deliberate suppression.

 

I woke up today in tremendous irritation to the extent of reacting to whom ever was in my direct view. It didn't take long to see that the possession is now very much defined and has to do with self validation.

In my mind, I started to Compare myself to others, trying to justify why I should feel sorry for myself and how unfair it is that I don't have a moment for myself for more than a week. I blamed myself for the decisions that I made throughout the week and the Extra Responsibilities that I took on. When I realized that I'm busy comparing, I directed myself to STOP but, it came up again. And so I stopped again, and it came up again. It was round about 3-4 hours until I could STOP in a moment of absolute decision to stop. 

 

I reminded myself that I've seen this character before, that I've walked the entire personality system in specificity and thus, it was time to apply the Practical corrective application and to literally Stop. But it didn't stop because I've missed a point/layer within this personality which is Competition for Self Validation.

 

Have a look at how manipulative is this design -

When I compared myself to others, I was actually competing with Others in my mind in looking at who is better than me, who is lesser than me; Who is Superior to me and who is Inferior to me; in that, I could place me on a polarity scale and stand in a position of being MORE than and accordingly, secretly accept myself as worthy. It was such a secret that I it didn't even make me feel better lol - I was still irritated, angry and frustrated.

(The story of how I practically assisted and supported myself to step out of the repetitive thought pattern will be shared in blogs to come as I see now that there is more to investigate and I require deep self introspection, which I will first walk for myself, in making sure that the pattern is in fact deleted and I haven't created another entity for myself.

 

What I am able share today is some rhetorical questions that I asked myself through which I could see the stupidity that I've accepted and allowed myself to participate with.

So I asked myself: how is it possible that you have placed yourself as more than in your own mind and yet, it didn't change the internal experience? What worth does superiority has if inside, I feel like shit, irritated, angry and frustrated? What does it shows about WHO I AM if and when I accept and allow myself to only validate me through competing and comparing myself to others? What does the back chat expose about my starting point of what I do as Who I am?

 

The reason why I used the word 'Rhetorical' is because the answers to these questions are very clear to me. The Real Questions that I'm yet to answer to myself in self honesty are WHY and HOW it is that I didn't stand as the directive principle, as a decision, as breath and STOP the participation in the thought pattern the first moment I saw myself accessing this time loop?

 

I'm aware and understand that there are Mind Systems that works in the background and support the possession that I was in. fine. I cannot use it as an excuse though and I will not justify myself through the systems because who if not me were the one who accepted and allowed such systems in the first place?

 

So, this blog is not the end of the story but the tip of the iceberg. It is up to me now to make sure I walk through this point because I really had enough from me repeating the same patterns that do not support myself and others in any way whatsoever.

So stay tuned as I commit myself to further expand on this point, first with myself and when I have absolute clarity, I'll share.

 

--

Note, the Mind system that I was referring to can be studied by listening to:  Quantum Mind - Self Awareness - Part 43 that was done yesterday, along with Quantum Systemization Repetitive Thought-Pattern Control System - Part 13

 

    

            

From Evilness to Life - Day 226

There are moments in time where one sees what one is doing to another, what it is that one is deliberately accepting and allowing within and as oneself, one see’s how one's words and actions has an affect on others in harmful and destructive ways and yet, one would continue one's participation in one's design/program/pattern/character/personality and would never take responsibility for such moments in making sure that one would not accept and allow oneself to ever again harm oneself and other human beings in this world.

 

This is why I am now writing this blog as I've seen in myself the Evilness that exists within myself, that I've accepted and allowed to accumulate Evilness  over the years, without giving myself any constructive and supportive direction and as such, my actions, my words and my resonance outflows, may harm and cause damage to others as the only things that I would consider in such moments are ME and my Experiences and I would not consider the other beings at all. Till here no further.

 

This blog will be an overview of the points that I've seen within and as myself thus far and from here, I would go into more details and specifics in assisting and supporting myself in walking the path of standing Equal to and One as other human beings and within that, stand as a support rather than a machine that suck the life out from other beings to sustain my Ego/Personalities as how I've defined myself as 'who I am' in separation of myself, others and this world as a whole.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to desire to be so much more than another human being that within that, I would accept and allow myself to walk over their toes and smash them so completely, in making them so small within and as my mind so that I could remain in control over them which would give me the Experience that I'm More. Within that, I forgive myself that I've not accepted and allowed myself to question myself as to why and how I have accepted and allowed the pattern/design as desire to be more, to exists within and as me and within that, haven't assisted and supported myself in stopping this pattern/design as the desire to be more and accordingly standing in alignment to the other being, in an assisting and supportive relationship instead of diminished and compromised relationship that would not benefit anything or anyone.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to try and attempt to make people so small in comparison to me, in my own mind, internally and externally and thus utilized all my "powers" as manipulation and defence tactics in doing all that I can so that they won't grow and expand themselves within who they are so that I won't have to stand in Equality with them but always remain more than them, in my own eyes but then, not seeing, realizing and understanding that I'm not only compromising them, but also compromising myself in  deliberately not assisting and supporting myself and others, equally as one to grow, expand and empower ourselves in becoming effective, trustworthy and respectful human beings in this world.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to deliberately create and manifest relationships in my life with beings that I "see" and perceive as less than me so that I could always stand in a superior position, in control over them. Within that, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself when the Relationship Dynamic changes and the being is actually moving and changing themselves in assisting and supporting themselves to grow, expand and empower themselves within who they are, to react within and as myself because how I have defined myself as more and superior according to them, has now collapsed and I can no longer sustain the superior personality that I've created within and as myself. Within this, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to assist and support myself in standing in absolute self trust as who I am, without needing/desiring/wanting to be More than who I am and specifically, in comparison to others.

 

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see how Evil one can be and become, in how one would speak, move, behave to other human beings in one's world within and as oneself when and as one accept and allow oneself to deliberately manipulate oneself and one's relationships with other human beings, within the starting point of keeping the Relationship Dynamics as it always was in satisfying one's desire to define oneself according to a specific attribute or component that one perceive oneself as lacking within and as oneself through the other being.

 

I commit myself to STOP the Evilness that I've accepted and allowed within and as myself and within that, be aware of such moments where I would change my personality in the attempt to diminish others on my behalf, to sustain my own self created definition that I've defined myself as within my relationships with others.

 

I commit myself to assist and support myself in walking the process from Evilness to life that is best for all and within that, to investigate all the points within and as myself that I've accepted and allowed the Evil nature to override the principle of what is best for all life.

 

I commit myself to Re-Establish my relationships with other people in my world and direct myself within the relationships according to that which is best for all as a principle wherein, we transform the relationships to constructive and supportive where both would assist and support ourselves to grow, empower and expand ourselves as living beings instead of limit, compromise and diminish ourselves within who we are in our relationships to ourselves and each other.

 

I commit myself to investigate why and how I've created relationships that I could experience myself as superior and within that, its relationship to the polarized experience within and as myself, as inferior that I've attempted to suppress through creating relationship that would defined me externally, otherwise.

Damn, I will never have everything done - Day 213

 

This is a continuation to:

The Elite's delusion of stress - Part 1 - Day 45
The Elite's Delusion of Stress - Part 2 - Day 46	The REAL Fear - Day 192
The Decision of TIME - Day 67	The things we Won't tell ANYONE - Day 193
The Decision of TIME - Day 67	Missing out on the Good Life - Day 194
Copy Paste Character - The Education System - Day 184	Let's have some Fun - Day 195
Is it possible to Cheat yourself? Day 185	Stupidity Loop - Jumping from the Bad to the Good to the Bad - Day 196
It is time to STOP Existing as a Human Machine - Day 186	The Smoke Screen of Ignorance - Day 197
The End of Times - Day 187	Leaving in a Dream - Day 208
Facing the Evil within - the KEY to LIFE - Day 188	Having the Life Style you always dreamt to have - Day 209
Fear of Disappointing others - Day 189	IT is MY time Now - don't say a word - Day 210
The Psychology of TIME - Day 190	Let's go on Vacation - Day 211
Comparison is a Bitch - Day 212	Comparison is a Bitch - Day 212

 

For the purpose of context, suggest reading these posts above prior to reading the post below, if you haven’t already. Here I will be walking the 'I don't have TIME' Character - Internal Conversation/ back chat Dimension - Practical support with Self Forgiveness and Self Commitments.

 

Here, one must understand that the Back chat, are the source of all Evil wherein, what one accepting and allowing within oneself, within the belief that no one will ever find out, is nasty and evil shit. Therefor, I will be walking back chat by back chat, in making sure I purify myself from the Evil that I've accepted and allowed within myself, in the context of the ' I don't have Time' Character.

 

-----

 

Damn, I will never have everything done.

 

Obviously not, how can I have everything done when I'm so preoccupied in my mind? How is it that I have time to participate in thoughts and imaginations but I don't have a sufficient time to walk in practicality, everything that needs to be done? That is an interesting question that all must inquire within and as themselves.

 

Within this backchat, what needs to be considered, investigated and looked at is 'Priorities' and when I was looking within and as myself, the only thing that separate me from 'Having everything done' is my own Desire and the Value that I gave to my Desires and within that, trying to manipulate myself, to be able to justify, why I have decided to not have everything that needs to be done within giving in and following my self interest desires.

 

Also a point to look at is that - what separate me with having things done is the very statement that there is Me, and there are things that needs to be done, as if it is 2 separate entities and what was not yet considered, realized and understood is the Interdependent relationship that this world is consisting of and existing as which then thus, there is not Me, as how I have defined myself within my mind, and 'things that needs to be done' in separation - what is Real is me, as Who I am, within what I do, in walking breath by breath by breath and in every step, direct myself according to the principle of what is best for all however, as long as I am in my mind, scheming for short cuts, having back chats, separating myself from what I do as if it is an entity that I must now achieve.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to believe that things needs to be done, in separation of me, not seeing, realizing and understanding that there is nothing in separation of me that needs to be done, it is simply being Here, in absolute awareness, Breathing and directing myself according to a principle, step by step.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to NOT see and realize that the reason why I have created 2 separate entities - Me, and things that needs to be done, implies, that my starting point within the decision that I've made was not clear and absolute and therefor, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that when I experience overload, and stress to have things done, it is just an Experience that I've created within my mind and I have not realized that there is so much that can be done in every moment of breath and so, I must direct myself in every moment of breath to do what I do, as who I am, in ease, with no effort and as an expression of Who I am, as what I have decided to do in a specific and particular moment within self honesty, responsibility and realization that I'm here, and there is always things that needs to be done which I am able to walk to the best of my ability, capability in making the most out of it, as an expression of myself.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to NOT investigate what triggered and activated the thought: "Damn, I will never have everything done" and within that, had accepted and allowed myself to continue the thought within a Negative Energy Experience as an expression of what I've accepted and allowed myself in that moment to become, in separation of myself. In this, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that the starting point of having such thought indicate, that what ever I'm doing, I haven't done for myself, as myself, within realizing my own self responsibility in walking breath by breath to the utmost of my potential.

 

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that the very statement of: "Damn, I will never have everything done" is entirely not true because eventually, what ever I'm working on will be done as a decision that I've made to walk a specific point until it's done. And thus, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to consider that maybe, the time frame that I've calculated for a specific task wasn't in alignment to the physical space/time reality and therefor, I can learn from my mistake and make sure that next time, my time estimation would be correct and in alignment to the physical space/time reality.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to desire being validated within what I do and therefor, when not having things done, my entire self definition would be compromise and threaten and in this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to priorities my self definition as a desire before the principle of that which is best for all because my starting point was to satisfied my desire to be validated through what I do and not walking as an expression of myself within what I do as a self realization that: This is who I am, this is why I am here, that needs to be done and therefor, I walk.

 

I commit myself to remind myself that there is so much that one can do in every single breath and therefor, thinking about 'not having things done' and feeling stress about that, won't make anything magically done but quite to the contrary, all I am accepting and allowing when and as I participate with such a thought is to waste my time in compromising myself and my effectiveness within what I do as Who  I am. Thus, when and as I see that practically, I won't be able to have things done within a time frame that I've set forth to myself, I take a breath, I assess and check how can I practically walk this point and simply walk it, with no effort, no stress, breath by breath.

 

I commit myself to SHOW that having such a thought as: "Damn, I will never have everything done", won't make things done but to the contrary - having any thought, will only prolong the process and would compromise and sabotage self and the relationship self has with oneself and others in this world.
 

I commit myself to consider all points when making a decision so that my decision would be informed and practical in application and within that, to be humble and patient with myself that whether the time that I've calculate for a specific task isn't in alignment to the physical space/time reality, I learn from my mistake and align myself accordingly and so - expand and grow myself instead of diminish, sabotage and compromise myself within having a thought such as: "Damn, I will never have everything done" that is in no way supportive or practical in anyway whatsoever.

Comparison is a Bitch - Day 212

This is a continuation to:

The Elite's delusion of stress - Part 1 - Day 45	I Regret, therefor, I'm a Good Person. NOT!!! - Day 191
The Elite's Delusion of Stress - Part 2 - Day 46	The REAL Fear - Day 192
The Decision of TIME - Day 67	The things we Won't tell ANYONE - Day 193
The Decision of TIME - Day 67	Missing out on the Good Life - Day 194
Copy Paste Character - The Education System - Day 184	Let's have some Fun - Day 195
Is it possible to Cheat yourself? Day 185	Stupidity Loop - Jumping from the Bad to the Good to the Bad - Day 196
It is time to STOP Existing as a Human Machine - Day 186	The Smoke Screen of Ignorance - Day 197
The End of Times - Day 187	Leaving in a Dream - Day 208
Facing the Evil within - the KEY to LIFE - Day 188	Having the Life Style you always dreamt to have - Day 209
Fear of Disappointing others - Day 189	IT is MY time Now - don't say a word - Day 210
The Psychology of TIME - Day 190	Let's go on Vacation - Day 211

 

For the purpose of context, suggest reading these posts above prior to reading the post below, if you haven’t already. Here I will be walking the 'I don't have TIME' Character - Internal Conversation/ back chat Dimension - Practical support with Self Forgiveness and Self Commitments.

 

Here, one must understand that the Back chat, are the source of all Evil wherein, what one accepting and allowing within oneself, within the belief that no one will ever find out, is nasty and evil shit. Therefor, I will be walking back chat by back chat, in making sure I purify myself from the Evil that I've accepted and allowed within myself, in the context of the ' I don't have Time' Character.

 

----

 

"I also want to watch a movie now, lay back for the rest of the evening; Why can't they share the responsibility so I won't have to work so many hours a day? "

 

Haha, this is a common one and it is again reflect a part of the Righteous character that I've accepted and allowed to define myself as meaning - If I had to walk my responsibilities within seeing my responsibility as Who I am and not as what I do; and who I am as my self realization that what I do reflect the principle of that which is best for all within what I do than, I would not have accepted and allowed this back chat to Exists within and as me because I wouldn't compare what other are doing to what I'm doing since Who I am is not dependent on what others are doing or don't do.

 

Thus, this back chat raise the question of - Who I am? What are the Decisions that I am making as who I am? The back chat in itself imply that the decision of Who I am isn't yet clear as I still require external factor to determine the definition that I define myself as, which is not so cool.

 

Then obviously, if what I do is not clear within and as me, as who I am, what was my starting point within the decision that I've made or maybe it is simply irrelevant what was my starting point because I can decide now to re-establish my starting point.

 

So -

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed the back chat - "I also want to watch a movie now, lay back for the rest of the evening; Why can't they share the responsibility so I won't have to work so many hours a day? " to exists within and as me because accepting and allowing this back chat to come up from within me, imply that I've separated myself from who I am, as what I do, and therefor, I must now re-establish my starting point in seeing, realizing and understanding that whatever I decide to do as who I am, is a decision that I've made for myself as and myself and thus, what others are doing with their time doesn't influence who I am because I'm standing stable and clear within who I am and the decision that I make.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to simply accept and allow the back chat : "I also want to watch a movie now, lay back for the rest of the evening; Why can't they share the responsibility so I won't have to work so many hours a day? " to come up from within me, and within that, not questioning the ridiculousness of blindly accept and allow thoughts/backchat that would determine my Modes as an energy experience that I would either define as positive and negative according to the Environment stipulates that activates memories within and as me, as part of a pre-program design that I've accepted and allowed to manifest within and as me. (To understand the Pre-Program Design, please read: The Correction Process and The Desteni Message (Part 3) - Day 200)

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to be influence by what I see in my environment and accordingly to either access a Positive or Negative Experiences through making a judgement, in comparison to the Ideal that I've insert within and as my mind.

 

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that when I make a decision, as myself and for myself, what others are doing is irrelevant and cannot influence my stance within and as me. Thus, I now see, realize and understand that if I'm accepting and allowing myself to be influenced by others, the Decision that I made wasn't absolute clear within and as me, as a decision of Who I am, in every moment of breath because if it was, I would simply apply myself according to the decisions that I made regardless the external stipulates that I see in my environment.

 

I commit myself to re-establish a starting point that is clear and absolute within and as myself and within that, to re-evaluate all the decisions that I have ever made in my life, that still control my current living conditions as I see, realize and understand that every decision that I made that I still have back chat coming up from within me, isn't clear within and as myself and must thus, correct and change so that who I am, is not defined and influenced by anything or any one and that all the decisions that I made and will be making in the future will be in absolute self honesty, clear, so absolutely which from there, all I have to do is to simply walk the practical application of the decision, breath by breath.

 

I commit myself to - when and as I make a decision, to check and cross reference within myself, that I'm clear, that I see all points and all the relationships that involve in making a decision and in that, making sure that the decision is made according to that which is best for all and accordingly, if or when a backchat comes up, to immediately stop, breathe and investigate in self honesty, what layer/dimension this backchat reveal and expose that I have not yet seen and sorted out and obviously, take the necessarily steps to sort myself out.

 

I commit myself to remind myself to be humble and patient with myself and with others and within that, remind myself that each one of us is walking their own individual processes; that we all make and will be making mistakes because that is how one learns and thus, I commit myself to not accept and allow myself to judge anyone's process including my own through comparison to an ideal that I've created within and as my mind because I now see, realize and understand that when I accept and allow myself to judge through comparison, I'm not standing in my utmost potential as a pillar of support for myself and others but rather, compromising myself and others within our existential processes.