From Limitation to Direction - Day 465

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to be dependent on another to direct points 'for' me instead of expanding myself by seeing, observing and learning how to effectively direct points. In this, I forgive myself that I've not accepted and allowed myself to realize that by creating a dependency on another to direct points 'for' me, I am limiting myself in the belief that I'm unable to effectively direct points myself.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to participate in Anger towards another when they are not 'here' to direct points 'for' me and within that anger, leaving the point that require direction undirected, not realizing that if I was the one who saw that a specific point require direction, I am also the one who is able to find a solution and direct.

 

I forgive myself that I've NOT seen, realize and understood how I have sabotaged my process of standing as a point of direction as an expression of myself as I've projected  anger towards another not directing a point which I see require direction and within that also limited my process of expansion as I've not stood up from within myself and trained myself to effectively direct a point that comes to my face to its utmost potential.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not Trust myself for being able to effectively direct specific points and thus, believed that I'm dependent on another to direct specific points 'for' me and within the distrust of myself, I haven't allowed myself to expand myself, to expand the way I look at things, expand the way I observe people, situations and events and accordingly, develop a direct seeing of what is here as solutions and how to effectively direct that which is here as an expression of myself.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to within the belief of not being able to direct a specific situation with another human being, to in fact physically live this belief of myself as my living application which within that, I would accept and allow myself to build up and accumulate energy as emotions such as frustration, resentment, anger and judgment towards another without realizing that I must first direct these points within myself to ensure that when I look again at the points, I see what is really physically presented here and accordingly, effectively direct the points if/when the point still require direction.

 

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that the moments that I find myself incapable of directing a point are moments where I am busy reacting within myself and so, the solution would be to first clear and stabilize myself so that I can then move to seeing solutions that I am able to apply/direct.

 

I commit myself to when and as I see a point that require direction, to first turn the point back to myself and direct within myself any and all sort of reactions I have towards the point. Then, when I self-honestly see that I'm stable and clear, I direct myself to find solutions within and as myself. I realize  that solutions are presenting itself when/as I'm clear within myself and so, I commit myself to trust that I will see a solution so long as I am not reacting and standing in clarity and stability within myself.

 

I commit myself to NOT accept and allow myself to limit myself within the belief that I'm not able to effectively direct a point because I realize that within the belief of not being able to direct specific point, I'm giving my power to my mind where I would start accumulating and build up all sort of energetic reactions, which creates a smoke screen from which I'm literally unable to see what is really here, what requires direction and what would be the approach/solutions that would be best to apply.
 

I commit myself to no longer accept and allow myself to depend on another to direct points 'for' me but to instead slowly but surely develop direct seeing skills through which I would allow myself to direct points within myself and my environment as an expression of who I am within the principle of 'what is best for all'. I realized that creating dependency towards another to direct points 'for' me is a limitation of myself as I haven't given me the opportunity to face the point myself, investigate who I am in relation to the point ,what can I learn from it so that I could also stand as a point of direction when/if the moments comes up again.

Comparison and Limitation of Self (The Solution) - Day 447

In the previous blog we were looking at a scenario of reacting, either internally or externally, to a decision that we have made, in comparison to a decision that another had made.

We have identified that the reactions is coming from a point of comparison that had led to a judgment that we have created towards ourselves and/or another. We also identified that the reaction indicates that there is unresolved issue within ourselves in relationship to the decision we originally made as for instance, to stand in a certain position within the world system.

 

Within this blog, we would have a look at solutions for when/as we react to another's decision in comparison to a decision we have made within ourselves to that we can transform the reaction to a point of empowerment and support for self and others.

 

Here it is fundamentally important to realize that a Judgment is all about misunderstanding and/or miscommunication.

I mean, when/as we compare another's decision to a decision that we have made previously inside ourselves, and we then judge another, either positively or negatively, we are basing the comparison and the judgment upon database of information that we carry within ourselves without any consideration of placing ourselves in the shoes of another, walking with another, but rather, placing ourselves in separation of another.

What is also imperative to realize here is that Judgment IS a reaction and as such, it is firstly to look and investigate self before projecting the judgment onto another.

So thus, the solution is within communication. Why? - Firstly, we reacted. That means that there is unresolved point within ourselves that we haven't yet investigated/considered/understood before. Now, communication can be either with oneself, within the point of self writing in assisting and supporting self to look at the dimensions one had previously missed. Secondly, within the realization that a judgment is equal to lack of understanding, it is suggested to communicate with the other, ask questions, really being 'here' and allow oneself to unconditionally Listen to the other as the other may considered point that we haven't considered before, that could be valid for our own individual process.

 

You see, we cannot compare another's decision to a decision we made within ourselves without having all the information because what is normally comes up in one's mind is a projection of the doubts/fears/uncertainties that we have in relation to the decision. Here, it is no longer about another's decision; it is about ourselves, about who we are in any given moment and if we are not stable within the decision that we have made, it is our responsibility to find out why is it that we haven't yet allocated our stability - what is it that we have missed, what is the nature of the doubt/insecurity/fear that we suppressed within ourselves.

 

So - if and when you make a decision, you want to be clear within yourself so that nothing is moving inside yourself in relation to a decision. Again, this is a point of self honesty. A suggestion here is to - when making any decision, to look at all the scenarios that the decision may lead you - you want to stand absolute in any of these scenarios. You will find that you'll have specific preference in how you envision the outflow of your decisions however, you must stand clear and stable if the outflow would not be in alignment to your preferences.

Then, walk your self forgiveness process to ensure that there no more doubts/fears/insecurities that would influence you later down the line and from there, move to your commitment statements to  write the path before you wherein you'll remain stable no matter what would come in your way.

A year or writing - Day 365

If anyone would have told me that I would, in some time in the future, be writing in English or even in Hebrew, for more than a year, every day, or almost every day, I would have said to them that they are crazy and there is no way in hell that I would be able to write so much.

Writing for me isn't something that came naturally, I was never known as a writer or someone who likes reading/writing but, here I am, writing for 365 days my journey to Life blogs.

 

I always had resistance to write, resistance to read, resistance to push beyond my accepted limitation because from my perspective, if I could have achieved something easily, than there is no point in push myself or to try harder to perfect the results. In my educational years, as long as everything came naturally and easy for me, I was the best that I could be and the moment things started to be hard, I automatically gave up on myself so that I won't have to face bad results. Little did I understand that everything was easy for me so long as my vocabulary was sufficient enough to be able to express myself but as I grow up, my vocabulary dropped in comparison to those with excellent vocabulary and because the problem was not understood, my solution was to drop out from everything that is challenging and to only walk the points that I can easily excel in.

 

But than came Desteni and I couldn't use my excuses of self limitation because I started to know better and I could only do that through reading and writing. As I've said many times before, this process that we are waling doesn't include any form of quick fix, there is no easy way out - it is a challenge, it takes a lot of self will and determination, it takes time and patience but today I can stand and say that if one dare oneself, one is able push through one's accepted limitations and to in fact expand oneself, one's understanding of oneself, of this world and human behaviour overall through the gift of writing. This is also why I'm so grateful I have people who walk this path with me as we encourage each other to break through the self created limitations and so, support not only ourselves but each other as a group.

 

Recently I pushed through my belief that I'm too old to learn new words and to improve my writing skills in English and I was astound to realize how easy and fun it can be to learn new words and actually integrate the words into my physical body so it can actually stay there for me to easily recall the words when I want to and with an awesome technology that is based also on the principle of Writing as a physical integration, I am now able to support myself in expanding my vocabulary and so, slowly but surely communicate and express myself in ways I wouldn't imagine possible for me.

 

Alright, so this is my yearly report of writing myself to freedom and I'll continue tomorrow with the question: Who is Responsible for our Children's Education?

 

Suppressed Self Expression - The Beginning of the End - Day 102

This is a continuation to

Suppressed Expression Character - Day 101

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself as a child in this world, to when and as I hear grownups making a statement in judgement towards other human being's expression, to invert the statement into me and from that moment onwards, suppress my beingness as self expression within and as fear that if I allow myself to express myself, I would be mocked and judged by others.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself as a parent in this world, to make a statement in the nature of judgement towards other being's expression when and as my child can hear me and within that, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see the consequences of accepting and allowing myself to judge other being's expression within and as myself and how it will effect my child's Life as the Expression of who my child is wherein from this moment onward, my child will make the decision to suppress one's expression to make sure, that one will never be in a position of judgement by others. In this, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see my own suppressed expression character that I've created within and as myself to be able to exits within our society as its norms and codes, and I haven't seen, realized and understood how I was the one who decided to suppress my expression as who I am, already from a very young age, when I heard/seen my parents judging someone's expression and feared being judged as well, if I accept and allow myself to express myself unconditionally. Within that, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see how I was the one who have accepted and allowed myself, to pass on, generation after generation the suppressed expression character because I haven't took my responsibility to educate myself, to see for myself what I've done to myself within the decision to suppress my expression to the extent to which I have become an automated machine that is able to sustain and maintain myself within our environment and existence as a whole, as enslaved and controlled beings to the world system as without, and to our mind as within. I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to take my power back to myself, within the realization that I am the one who decides and to thus decide to put a stop to the supressed expression that is emerging generation after generation and to free myself from my own imprisonment of myself in my mind, and the imprisonment of others in their mind through the example that I decide to be and become - within and as my Living Physical Expression.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to Judge that which I do not understand and according to the judgement, suppress my beingness as self expression, Here, because as a child in this world, I gave value to what those who have come before me taught me - who I am, what I am, how should I express myself and how should I not and have thus, abdicated my responsibility to see, move and direct me as who I am in every given moment and accordingly, express myself unconditionally as who I decide I am to be in every moment of every breath.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to imprison myself within my human physical body, not seeing, realizing and understanding that I am my human physical body in its totality and that in that moment of imprisonment, I've separated myself from myself as my human physical body, allowed systems to integrate to and as my flesh and decide for me, in any given moment, who I am and how I should express myself according to society norms and codes that will ensure my survival within and as this physical reality.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to imprison me as the self expression that I am in every moment of every breath and within that, have accepted and allowed myself to always think about how I should express myself in a way that will fit in with my environment so that I could be accepted and validate and wouldn't be defined as insane. Within that, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to NOT realize that our society has defined insanity according to specific rules and regulation that will keep the humans enslaved and controlled by the Money System of this world and we would not, in any way, be able to step out of our characters to see, realize and understand what we have accepted and allowed ourselves to be and become which is insanity in itself where we accept and allow our backchat to exits while we would not allow ourselves to express that which we think because we know, that when we would, we will be defined as insane and thus, to make sure we will never face our backchat as the insanity that it is, we have internalized the thoughts, feelings and emotions within the belief that no one can know what's going on in our mind and thus, no one would define us as insane; within that, we have made sure that we will never change, stop the insane thoughts/emotions/feelings that control and enslave and imprison ourselves within our human physical body until our expression is so suppressed that who we are is just an automated organic robot with no life essence whatsoever.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed the thought as picture in my mind of me doing a salta in the air when I see green comfortable grass or when I'm at the beach and the sand is soft and as I start moving myself towards jumping in the air, a backchat comes up: "I can't do it, I will fall" and instead of stopping the back chat to control and enslave me, I give myself the permission to follow and continue having internal conversation as fight between - "I want to do it but I fear doing it" and thus, in that moment, I have accepted and allowed my expression as who I am to be locked down within and as my mind, not seeing, realizing and understanding that the utmost potential of who I am is here, within any given moment as self expression where I'm the directive principle, I move myself and I asses in self honesty according to the physical equation if I can or cannot do a specific task and accordingly, act upon my decision in absolute self trust and self honesty.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed the backchat: "they will think that I'm crazy" when and as I see the emergence of me as self expression of and as my human physical body moving myself as the body and instead of allowing myself to express myself in that moment as breath, I accept and allow my own self limitation and self imprisonment to dictate me what and how I should be in expression because I gave permission to fears of judgement to be my directive principle, I gave permission to the society norms and codes to be my directive principle, I gave permission to myself to follow my thoughts/emotions/feelings and within that, suppress myself as the expression that I am so that I won't be judged and mocked because what I saw during my life was that when and as someone is expressing oneself unconditionally, the person is being judged and mocked and defined as weird and I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand the starting point of the person who judge, to see, realize and understand that it is in fact the very being who judges others, judges oneself as per the design and program that one has accepted oneself to be and become; I haven't seen, realized and understood that those who are judging, are not standing as an example of self expression as who they are in every given moment but rather stand as an example of imprisonment of oneself within one's mind and thus, if I accept and allow this example to be real, I accept and allow my own imprisonment, in my own mind because I am the one who decide.

I now see, realize and understand how extensive is this point which will be required to be walked in much more specificity and details and thus, I commit myself to brake down each and every memory, reaction, back chat, aspect of the suppressed expression character and walk the Self Forgiveness Process until it is done.

So again… stay tuned.

Suppressed Expression Character - Day 101

Where and When have we "lost" our expression? Where and When have we decided to suppress who and what we are and thus have become an expression Character that will fit into the Society norms, Culture, Religion etc.?

Where and When during our Life we have decided to deny ourselves as the expression of and as Life and have become automated in our expression, an expression that will sustain us in our existence within this world system and abuse us as who we are as Life and within that, compromise our entire existence as a whole?

 

It is ridiculous that despite of me seeing that I'm suppressing my expression, I still allow it. It is ridiculous that despite of me seeing my expression emerging as who I am, I decide to lock it down due to thoughts and fears like: "what if they judge me? What if they make fun of me? What if they will think that I'm weird?" And because of those thought, I will accept and allow myself to participate within the suppressed expression character that I've created to protect myself from my environment, to protect myself from other people because I have placed value in what they have to say about me, and I've given myself no Value as LIFE as who I am when and as I accept and allow myself to suppress the beingness that I am and act as the actor in my own movie of my own life - the movie that will keep me "stable" in my environment and won't take me into a mental hospital with other people that has no barrier between what they think and what they express.

 

I mean, imagine Who and What we'll become when and as our secret mind will become equal to and one as what we express? Will we then allow ourselves to become spiteful and judgmental towards other beings in our world? No! the only reason we allow it within ourselves is because we believe it is a secret that no one will find out about and we do not even consider that they are accepting and allowing the same nature of thoughts to exists within and as them. 

 

So who will we be when and as we will give ourselves the permission to express ourselves as who we are? According to this current world system, we will be defined as insane but isn't insanity to define Self Expression as insane? Why is it that we have accepted and allowed our own self expression definition to be Equal to and One as insanity? Why is it that the Current system dictate our expression? What we have become within and as the system as suppressed expression? We have became slaves to our own boundaries that we have placed within and as ourselves to maintain and sustain us within a system that we call LIFE. Though, is it LIFE? NO!

 

Thus, how to return to ourselves as the expression of who we are as a physical living expression of and as LIFE? How to assist and support us to Express Who we are in any given moment? It is to Stop THINKING lol

 

Within this blog, I will be looking at the first moment where I've decided to suppress my expression and become equal and one as organic robot to maintain and sustain myself within and as this world system, to be validated, accepted and appreciated by everything and everyone. 

In order to Identify the Suppressed Expression Character, we will first have a look at the thought manifestation that emerge; then, we will look at the back chat that perpetuate the thought manifestation that we will blindly follow. The next step would be to identify the reactions that emerge as emotions and feelings and finally, what physical changes are manifesting in our physical human body as a complete lock down of and as the Suppressed Expression Character.

 After we'll identify those components, we would be able to have a closer look at the functionality of the Suppressed expression Character which from there, assist and support ourselves with a practical corrective living application/expression.

 

So let's start:

 

The thought manifestation:

Picture of playful child expression. Like for myself, it would be often a picture of me doing Salta jump on the grass or a picture of me Dancing.

 

The Back chat:

"I can't, I will fall"

"They will think that I'm crazy"

"Don't do it; do it; Don't do it; Do it". (which BTW - the "Don't do it" 99% of the time wins)

"shit, if they see me, they would laugh at me for ages"

"If I can't do it properly, I should not do it at all"

"But I want to do it!"

 

Reactions:

Frustration; Jealousy; comparison; embarrassment;

 

Body Change

Constriction in the shoulder area;

Needles in the solar plexus towards the heart regime;

Energy movement in my harms and hands;

Slight pressure in my head.

 

Now, I will go back to the first memory that I can recall where I decided to suppress my expression. In the blog post: Behaviour Modification - Day 74, I've walked through that memory. However, to assist and support myself to identify the first creation of the Suppressed Expression Character, I will look at some more dimensions to be able to remove that memory and stop the memory from influencing me, as who I am, as a physical expression.

 

Stay tuned for my next blog :-)

Changing the Human Nature - Day 89

This is a continuation to my blog:

Humans are so fucked up - you cannot trust anyone - Day 88

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to give up on Humanity within and as the statement: "Humans are fucked up - you cannot trust anyone" and I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that all along, I have accepted my limitations, my programming and the design that I've created myself within and as and I have allowed the limitation, programming and design within and as this world, as equal to and one as me and through my acceptance and allowances, I directly responsible for us as humanity, in our current nature/design because I haven't take my own responsibility of stepping out of that which I've accepted and allowed myself to be and become in separation of me, stand as an example that a change is possible and that the only reason we won't allow ourselves to change is because or our self interest nature which blinds us from seeing clearly what we have ignored and disregarded from the beginning of time and how through our ignorance, we have accepted and allowed ourselves to create and manifest a world as it is exists today.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself as the giving up character, to use, justify and make excuses of why I cannot change because changing would mean to let go of the character that I've created myself as, in separation of me and within that, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to forget that I was the one who created myself as the human nature, and that I was so powerful that I've even created the forgetfulness character so that I can make sure, that I will never bring myself back to myself within and as equality and oneness as LIFE that is best for all.

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself and this world as equal and one to realize, understand and see that so long as I accept and allow the evil secret mind that I've become in absolute equality and oneness and therefore, have accept and allow spiteful thoughts, jealousy, comparison, competition, judgement, diminishment of others in my mind, I cannot be trusted to the extent to which - if I think, I can't be trusted and within and as equality and oneness fuckupness - I cannot trust any one who accept and allow thoughts to be one's directive principle in separation of oneself and this existence as a whole.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to be petrified to face myself as my mind, as what I have accepted within myself and this world, and thus, the easy way out if through stating that the human nature will never change and within that, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to give my power away within the desire to belief that the human nature cannot be changed as I've abdicated my responsibility to test for myself whether I can change and stand as an example that the human nature can be changed.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to justify why I'm not willing to face that which I've accepted and allowed myself to be and become within and as the statement: "the human nature cannot be changed" and furthermore, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to hurt, harm and kill anyone who dared to stand up and prove that change, within and without is possible.

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see that I'm EVIL in fact because I accept and allow myself to participate within and as my evil secret mind, judging, spiting, competing with everything and everyone: my best friends as well as my enemies and I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realize that unless I take the responsibility to in fact face myself and all that I've accepted and allowed within myself and within this world, I'm directly responsible for the abuse that manifested within and as this world.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to use the excuse: If I stop my mind, I will become a zombie" and I haven't taken the responsibility to test and confirm that excuse/belief for myself because within and as me I already KNEW and didn't want to face that stopping the mind is the KEY, stopping the mind is an extensive process that one has to walk in absolute self dedication.

I commit myself to show that a change is possible through my 7 years commitment of writing. And so, through writing myself out, I stand as an example that a change is possible because I've committed to myself to never give up on myself, as I see, realize and understand that giving up on myself means that I'm giving up on LIFE that is best for all.

I commit myself to show the stupidity loop that we have created as ourselves wherein us as the creators of the multiple characters within and as ourselves, also created a character to forget that we are in character and so, me within and as my powerfulness, have created a loop where we could never get out of, unless we do, through taking the responsibility to let go of all our characters, to download the program of and as LIFE that is best for all into and as our physical flesh and change who and what we have become to and as a principle of LIFE that is best for all.

I commit myself to show and expose that Trust cannot exists as long as one THINK. We have created a world based on thinking and it is clear that we haven't done a good job. Our relationships with others are based on thinking and it is obvious what goes on inside one's mind towards their beloved one. (if one dare to be self honest and admit to oneself the actuality of what I'm writing here)

I commit myself to SHOW and PROVE that when stopping the mind, one doesn't become a zombie, as I'm walking my own process of stopping the mind and it doesn't seem that I'm becoming a zombie but quite the opposite - fully expressive, A LIVE and functioning.

Humans are so fucked up - you cannot trust anyone - Day 88

From time to time, I hear the statement - "yes, it is fucked up, it's human nature, there is nothing we can do about it. We simply cannot trust anyone, there are people that will stab a knife in your back the moment you turn around, there will be those who will rape the neighbours daughter, there will be those who will murder the prime minister, there will be those…" and the list goes on and on and on.

However, what is fascinating is that within that statement or various types of statement within and as the nature of the statement above, one has already given up on humanity. One has already given up on the possibility to change human nature and simply accepted within and as oneself and allowed within and as this world, the fact that the human nature is so fucked up and there is nothing we can do about it.

But is it in fact so? Is it the human nature that cannot be changed or is it me that will not dare myself to change? I will vote for the second option as I've seen within and as myself the extent of self will that one must become for one to absolutely change one's preprogram design / the human nature.

Ok, so yes, we cannot trust anyone in this world but that is not because of who they are - it is because who we are within and as our own human nature/preprograming. Why?

Let's do an exercise - imagine a person you dislike. What are the thought you have about him/her? What is the nature of the thoughts you accept and allow within and as your mind? Can you see it? Not so pretty hay?

but now you will tell me - well, I don't like this person because of this and that and you will justify why it's ok that you have accepted and allowed those thoughts towards this person because I mean, that’s what everyone does when they don't like someone, nothing wrong with me disliking someone, so stop with your stupid questions.

Let's continue with our journey into the mind and now - imagine your best best best best friend in this world. Ohhh, that's nicer, it feels good now within and as yourself. I understand. BUT, your very best friend has now disagreed with you and a friction manifested; You'll have to become self honest now, to be able to answer the following question: What is the nature of your thoughts towards your best best friend now? What memories from the past did you bring to this moment of friction that have been suppressed until this very moment of friction till you burst all out and took all the shit out.

So you see, I wouldn't trust you as my best friend exactly as I wouldn't trust you if you were my biggest enemy so long as I know what's going on in your secret mind; and the only reason I know what’s going on in your secret mind is because I'm exactly the same as you, within and as the human nature that I've accepted and allowed myself to be and become. Meaning, as long as we THINK, we cannot be trusted and the only way we can be trusted by ourselves and others is when and as we stop thinking.

 

When we say that the human nature cannot be changed, it is ONLY because we don't want to change within and as ourselves, simply because we have never known ourselves otherwise. We believe that we will become zombies if we stop the mind but we never actually decided to test the point for ourselves to see if there is any ground to our belief. I mean, if it comes to the point that you would become zombie when the mind stop and you stop thinking than, go ahead and start thinking again. It is very simplistic.

The only way to make a change in this world, is to first stop our own evil secret mind that continuously think 24/7 non stop. We judge others, we judge even ourselves; we are jealous of others; we compete with everything and everyone for our own limitation; we're spiteful towards each other; would you want to be in relationship with yourself when you SEE very clearly what's going on in your secret mind towards those who are in relationship with you? would you want to be in relationship with others when you KNOW what is the nature of the thoughts they have towards you in a moment of friction? NO! and yet, we accept and allow it.

To be continued with a practical support within and as Self Forgiveness statements and Corrective Commitment - the tools of Stopping the mind and becoming LIFE that is trustworthy.

Judgment isn't Fun - Day 38

Life Review - Expecting Appreciation from Others

            Life Review - Expecting Appreciation from Others

This blog is a continuation of yesterday blog where I would take the point of Responsibility within the relationship with Self judgement and Time. It is NOT fair - Day 37

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to judge every moment that I'm not walking my responsibilities as wrong/bad/negative and I haven't realized that my upmost responsibility is towards myself in making sure that I'm 'Here', in breath, as a physical Living expression without being influenced by my mind and within that, I forgive myself that I've separated myself from my responsibilities because I've created a personality entity towards it and I've used my responsibilities to maintain worth, validation and acceptance by others and abdicated the REAL responsibility of assisting and supporting me to become a physical living expression and direct everything that I do within the starting point of Who I am as a breath by breath Decision to walk as the principle that is best for all.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to sabotage my relationships with beings in my world because I have given more value to my responsibilities than to physically enjoyable the connection with  other beings as well as, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to experience my self as righteous because I care more about my responsibilities in comparison to what they do with their time and thus, I deliberately won't allow myself to enjoy my time with them because than, I'm apparently, not standing as an example to them which within that, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to use and abuse my responsibilities through attempting to gain the experience of being self righteous by comparing that which I do to that which others are doing.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to believe that standing as an example is within What I do in separation of myself, instead of standing as an example of Who I am within a breath by breath decision to walk and move myself according to that which is best for all.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to deliberately not enjoy myself with other beings in my world because I'm trying to make them experience guilt for them not taking the responsibility that I think they should take and within that, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to stand as an example to support the beings in my world because I've tried to diminish them within the belief that if they experience guilt, they will move themselves faster. 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to - when I'm in a moment of social gathering with beings that I define as more than me, to pretend that I must stop the entertainment and get back to my responsibilities so that those people could appreciate me and see that I am a devoted being, within that hope that maybe they will judge themselves through my words/acts and thus, I won't be the only being who judge myself but they will do the same onto themselves.

SO - after writing those 2 blogs, it is clear that Who I am isn't define by what I do. Everything that I've done thus far was from the starting point of self interest within the hope of getting appreciation from others through what I do. Within that, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to believe that I require others to appreciate what I do to be able to define myself as worthy and I haven't consider that worthiness is a breath by breath expression that I am Equal to and One as if only I allow and accept worthiness as ME.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to believe that I'm able to maintain and gain self worth through what I do and I haven't consider who I am within what I do which show the extent of separation that I've accepted and allowed myself to exist as.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to what I do and thus, been frustrated that I don't have enough time to do all that I see as beneficial to do because I have limited myself within the perception of Time without considering that there is so much that one can do in every breath but because I've defined myself according to time within the frame of what I do, I've missed a breath, missed myself within the breath and missed the physical LIFE that is here, awaiting for me to realize myself as who I am.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to be hard on myself and haven't allowed myself to enjoy myself with myself and with other beings in my world because my mind was running haywire, thinking of what I should do, what I haven't done yet, what needs to be done, "it's not fair" and so on.

I commit myself to enjoy myself breath by breath by breath as who I am within everything that I do.

I commit myself stop being hard on myself and allow me to BREATHE myself out of my mind and into the physical.

I commit myself to worthy myself as Who I am and stop defining myself and others according to what we do.

I commit myself to enjoy my time with other beings in my world as breath by breath hereness, and I direct myself to when I'm with people as well as when I'm alone, to shut the mind out and physically direct and move myself Here.

I commit myself to walk my responsibilities as equal to and one as who I am and reassess everything that I do, to allocate my starting point and change it if required.

I commit myself to stop limiting myself to the perception of Time.

I commit myself to STOP riding on the back of others within the attempt of getting validation of worth from others.

I commit myself to delete all the personalities that I've created throughout my life that served my self interest and to reconstruct myself according to WHO I am, breath by breath, same tomorrow, now and yesterday.