Learning to Trust myself - Day 406

Interestingly enough, in the last couple of weeks, the main point I was working with was Self Trust, Self Acceptance, Respect and Worth as I uncovered a deeper layer I haven't seen before within myself. These are the words I have written down for myself when I started looking at the point maybe 3 weeks ago:

"Recently, it became more evident that I am following a religion, the religion of myself; a religion that I've wrote with my own blood, flesh and the entire body; a religion that I follow so dearly without realizing that within this religion of myself, I have diminished and compromised myself to such an extent that self-worth, self-respect and self-value are just titles I can give to myself through the validation of others. In other words, in the religion that I lived by, the first commandment was- You shall be Valued, Worthy and Respected only if others will…"

I haven't published that blog as I planned to walk the point first as myself, as the living change and then share it with the world as a point of support.

Bernard was pushing this point more and more recently so that I could finally make a decision - to either trust myself completely and unconditionally or to always remain a slave where I require glorifications from others to be able to validate myself. Within my current responsibilities, I was directly working with Bernard as I took on a position that requires Specificity, Responsibility and Certainty and most importantly self-trust. Though, the one thing I feared the most was making mistakes - since a mistake won't only influence my life, but the lives of many others. Bernard never gave me the answers but instead, insisted that I will first look at the point for myself, assess all things, all outcomes and make decisions.

So, a week ago, I started to practically apply Self Trust wherein I would make a decision, be comfortable with the decision, check myself, cross reference myself and then, once the decision was applied, I would share it with him as a 'By the way' thing and he would either say 'cool' or 'have you looked at…' or 'have you considered that' or 'Maya, your voice tonality shows that your decision was done within a starting point of a reaction so what is the reaction all about?'.

But then he died, and I cannot say that I transcended the point yet. In fact, my physical body shows that there is still unresolved points that I haven't considered or effectively applied. The trust point, in my back where the pain shows that there is a part of me that cannot trust myself without Bernard being here to support me within the decisions that I make and the decisions that I will have to make.

So my back is stiff, sore, constricted and basically, that point in my back is now weak as the support structure I've created for myself in separation of myself/body is nonexistent, as I have separated the self-trust into a relationship with Bernard, trusting him more than I trusted myself and in this exists the separation. Now I have to teach myself to trust myself so absolutely - so that no matter what I face, I am stable within myself.

I must create my own support structure wherein Self Honesty, Assessing all things and deciding on that which would result in the outcome that is best for all is practically applied within each breath I take. To trust myself that when I make a mistake, I learn from the mistake, I correct myself and practically change - "simple" as Bernard used to say.

So I commit myself to learn to trust myself unconditionally and to support myself and become the support Bernard stood as and in a way still standing, for me and for others.

The Correction Process and The Desteni Message (Part 1) - Day 198

*note for those who are following my blogs – I will continue walking the various Dimensions of the ‘I don’t have Time Character’ after this blog series is complete.

 

There are many that come across Desteni and define the Message as a Negative one or 'Not so much Positive'. They Say that Desteni Message is Radical and Extreme and from that, make the assumption that they already know what it is all about and thus, stop their investigation because it doesn't resonant with them. However, as I will be showing in this blog, the Desteni Message is all about Living the following Principles within and as an expression of oneself:

- Give as you would like to receive

- Do unto another as you would like to be done unto you

- Investigate ALL things and keep that which is good for All.

Within this, there is no Good or Bad, it is not about Positive or Negative nor Good or Evil - it is about seeing Reality as what it's really is and accordingly, walk the correction that would result in the Best outcome for the Lives of all. 

 

 

Lets investigate how we perceive reality through pictures. We are yet to understand, that what we are perceiving the physical reality to be, is nothing but a PICTURE we are projecting and imposing onto what we then Believe reality to be - We process the information we see   through our minds, which we then, form Opinions, Beliefs, Ideas, Perceptions about Reality and Create an Experience within and as ourselves - either Positive or Negative.

 

To further explain why it is that we see Reality as a Picture, as an Experience we define as either Positive or negative, let's have a look at the following:

 

When we look at a brick for instance,  what do we see? A brick. As simple as that. We might pay attention to its colour, to its shape, to its alignment with the rest of the bricks but that is as far as we go when looking at a brick. However, is it only just a brick as we perceive a brick to be? How about the relationship the Brick has with the various participant that were involved in the creation of the brick? The Sand, the Water, the wind, the person who shaped it, the person who coloured it, the person who delivered it, the person who placed it in the wall, the bugs that visited the brick, the cloth that cleaned the brick, the beings that are enjoying the existence of the brick in its current manifestation? How about the Cells and the Molecules of the Brick? Its Chemical alignments?

From here, we can conclude that our perception of Reality is extremely Limited and we take what we see through our Physical eyes for granted, Not seeing Directly the Entire universe that exists within and as a brick for example.

 

What I'm showing here is our limited vision of reality and within that, I raise the question - how many things have we missed by defining a brick as simply a brick while ignoring, not taking into consideration, not seeing all the relationships the Brick consists of and exists as when looking at a brick on our wall?

 

So if we don't like the colour or the shape of the brick, Does it change anything in the physical reality? Is the brick going to change its form? No. If our Attitude towards the brick will be Positive, will the Brick change in any way how it exists? No. Our Experience in relation to the Brick has no influence on the Physicality of the Brick and thus, our Attitude towards the Brick - either Negative or Positive will have no Influence on the Brick as a physical form and we would not be able to change the relationship the brick have with everything it is consisting of and existing as. 

 

Meaning the value (positive or negative value) we assign to the colour of the brick, the shape of the brick, the texture of the brick, will not change the brick itself, it will only create the experience that we have towards the brick in that we will create a reality within and as ourselves where we believe that the brick is 'better' or the brick is 'worse', which is the perceptual reality that we create within and as ourselves of how we perceive this reality. The physical manifestation of the brick does however not change through how we associate positive or negative connotations to it.

 

We cannot Deny that within this world, there is much Abuse and Suffering that people are daily experiencing. We can agree that this world is not a safe place, no matter where we are located in this world - War, Crime, diseases, Earthquakes, Tsunami and whatnot. We can agree that the Education System is dysfunctional, we can agree that health care is not perfect, we can agree that the Media isn't  supporting the minds of our children and we can agree that working our entire lives to fight for our survival is not the greatest way to experience Life. We can absolutely agree that politics is corrupted all over the worlds and that our representatives are not quite serving our best interests;

 

Now, all of the above are again - neither Good nor Bad. As making these things 'good' or 'bad' means that we have assigned a positive or a negative value / experiences to the physical manifestations of what we had created within the physical reality. The physical manifestations are simply what it is - it is the Manifested Consequences of our collective acceptance and allowances either directly or indirectly. One must understand that Consequences here, as a living word, does not contain a negative Charge - 'Consequences' are the Desired or Undesired out flows of our actions and deeds that stem from a sequence of events that place to affect a specific outcome as a manifestation within the physical.

 

If we look at the World Picture - We are not even close to be absolutely aware of all the physical interconnected relationships that makes this world functional. For example, I'm sitting on a balcony now and in front of me there is a beautiful picture of Nature - Green Grass, Trees and Mountains which most people would define this moment in time with a positive association.  The question is - is it real? And whether my Positive Experience would have any influences on the Physical reality?

 

My own personal positive association to the beautiful picture that I see before me only gives me pleasure in this one moment, yet when I stop my participation within and as my mind of where and how I had associated this positive experience to the picture that I see, I am able to stop for a moment and look at this reality directly. So - When I stop with my positive feeling within and as myself and look into the scenery that I had associated a positive experience to - What do I see? I see mountains, I see fields being worked for harvesting food, I see trees that are planted for harvesting with their neat little rows. All of this together within and as myself I have associated a positive experience to - But have I considered the labour that is involved in getting the plantations to be as they are, the little animals that find refuge in these areas, just to be uprooted again when the harvesting season comes. So while I am 'trapped' within my illusion of a positive experience - reality is lived by what is here within and as the physical - while I am blind to what is really going on.

 

Will continue in my next Blog...