Spiritualizing beings that had Died - Day 162

This is a continuation to:

Walking Breath by Breath - Part 1 - Day 160

Walking Breath by Breath - Part 2 - Day 161

 

So, the pain in my back is almost gone, but it's not completely gone which indicate a point that I haven't yet seen, investigated and realized within and as myself.

Today, I will further look at how I've placed my power, my trust in others, how I've spiritualized them within my mind, how I have attached and gave them power, through imagination and how within that, I've lost myself so to speak, lost critical thinking, lost common sense…

 

When I was about 11 years old, I lost my grandfather which I was very much connected with from the perspective of - he had never seen me as a child, as someone who is less than him, he had never judged me, yelled at me or put me down. He was always very much gentle with me. He used to tell me stories about his past and within that, walked me through the common sense point of why and how there is no God for real.

Obviously, he couldn't explain to me how creation was created and how we have evolved to where we are now but what was very much clear to him is that there is no God and if there is a God, than God is a sun of a bitch, the most evil man on earth.

 

The night that he had died, I could feel it even though it was out of the blue, he wasn't old or anything.. Only 75 years old. At that night, I was waking up in the middle of the night from a dream about my grandfather lying on a silver metal bad, with a light on top of him, he was naked with a blanket on and he wasn't moving. I didn't experience any previous death before and I didn't understand what I was seeing in my dream. At 1:00 AM, the phone was ringing, waking me up from my dream. I put myself back to sleep until the morning came. I went up from bed, so many people in our house and my sister came towards me in the attempt to take me aside and tell me what had happened, but I already knew and I started yelling at her. I don't remember what I was saying to her but it was something in the nature of - don't you dare say it, I already know, he is dead..

 

His death was one of the most difficult things I have ever experienced because this man, was my entire world, he was my sanity in a world I couldn't see sanity. He was practical, direct, assertive, caring - something rarely to seen and found in this current world. I knew that from now on, there would be no one that I can trust with telling me the truth, no one that I could trust to never judge me or put me down. I wanted to believe so much that he is still here in spirit so I started talking to him. asking him questions, asking him to assist me with communicate effectively with my parents, asking me to give me signs so that I'll know that I'm in the right path, asking him about guys and what his perspective on them.. It was all fine until it didn't lol.

 

In moments of bad experiences, when things could have gone completely out of balance, completely wrong, and in the last moment something had happened and I was saved by chance, I connected it to my grandfather watching me and taking care of me. I've essentially made him my Guardian Angle, my God, My Saviour.

 

There was a time when things went completely wrong and I couldn't get what I wanted, especially with males that I became obsessed with and they didn't pay attention to me. When the "Love of my Life" had broken up with me and I felt my world had collapsed, I blamed my grandfather. One night, I was driving my car back home, crying so much, like almost a panic attach. I yelled at my grandfather to give me a sign for his existence because if he wouldn't, I wouldn't trust that he is there watching me. Yes, I made some excuses and justifications like - he cannot watch me every single moment and he might assist and support other human beings in certain moment but at that very moment, when I was crying like crazy and yelled at him, I expected him to hear me and give me a sign. I told him that he can take a few days to give me a sign because I didn't know how long it would take him to manifest the sign for me but if it won't happened, I'm done. I would stop this blindly belief.

And so, I stopped. For a few years I didn't talk with my grandfather anymore, I didn't think about him, I stopped looking for signs that where never there and I was completely alone with no one to watch me from way above. Until.. One day. When I was already a spiritual person, I was laying on the couch with my face towards to TV screen. The house was full with candles which created a warmth environment and suddenly… I saw my grandfather, I saw him on the TV screen, giving me a sign for his existence and immediately, the belief had emerged again - my grandfather always there, letting me to experience some life lessons but he had never stop taking care of me.

 

Fortunately, the spiritual phase didn't last so long, it was around 2 years before I had found Desteni and I could finally realize my own responsibility, my own relationship with my mind as imagination, my own reasoning as illusions regarding what is real and what is not, without even testing the points for myself in common sense.

 

So here, I wrote done the story for myself, as the foundation of the point that I would look at in my next blog, regarding my experience with spiritualizing a being, how did it influenced my life, how did it influence my relationships with other human beings, and how I have utilize this being to abdicate my own responsibility through blaming him for my own self creation.

To do this - I would walk my experience and relationship with him before and after he had died to see who I am/was within this relationship, why have I created this godly relationship with him, before and after he had died, to see, realize and understand in more depth how through my relationship with my grandfather, I've accepted and allowed myself to abdicate my own responsibility in standing within and as self trust, directing myself and my world, breath by breath.

 

With regards to After Death Communication – I suggest reading through Creation’s Journey to Life Day 151 onwards as well as watch the following Video: www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=ZGoCC3vID8I

Spirituality - the Message - Day 41

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to give value to the messages coming through beings and I haven't considered and questioned why is it that the messages are never clear and direct as well as why the messages are not in the context of presenting a solution for the world problems but only focus on Self Interested message of Love and Light where the physical evidence shows quite clearly that there is no Light and Love for the Majority of this world because Love and Light has a direct relationship with Money which 3.3 Billion people in this world don't have.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to blindly follow the channelled messages that came from the afterlife because the message was always something I enjoyed listening to as I was praised and validated as a magnificent special soul that I apparently am and though feeding of my Ego with energy, I refused to question and consider the validity of those messages in terms of the principle of Equality and Oneness in it's absolute expression of the words, within the realization that it is not only me in this world, it is me as part of the relationships that created this world and that Equality and Oneness in practical application imply that ALL required to be cared for, all required to have a magnificent and dignified Life and not only me as a self interest ego personality that does nothing practical to bring about a world that is best for ALL.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to desire to channel some higher being because I defined channellers as special and divine but when I practice the skill to channel and nothing came through, I accessed frustration because apparently, I was not as divine as I would imagine myself to be and so, I started to force the messages even though I knew that it was my mind who is giving me the messages and there is nothing divine in my mind  because in self honesty, if one look within one's mind at the back chat and one's secret mind, one will find very easily that the nature of one's thought is mostly based on judgment, spitefulness, competition, jealousy and so on.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to trust my mind as the entity that I'm channelling with and I have never considered to cross reference the information, to develop critical thinking with regards to the authenticity of the message as well as investigate the starting point of the messages because if I would, I would immediately see in clarity that the messages are contained with Evilness as it only address that which people would like to hear to feed of their ego personality design and remain control and enslaved to their mind without ever being able to step out and literally stand up for that which is best for all.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to blindly follow those who claim to be psychics and chanellers because I've defined them as divine and even though I've seen their day to day application that consisted of and existed as reactions, self interest, manipulations and Greed, I've closed my eyes from those component because I didn't want to challenge my belief because who will I be when I take the belief away? Nothing! And I didn't want to be nothing because I didn't understand what nothingness is in fact how only from nothingness, a creation that is best for all can be created.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to fear giving up the belief of having people with a direct connection to the after life because I have gave so much value to the after life beings, as if they are all knowing and powerful and I haven't considered that if it was true, they would have done something to assist and support this world and wouldn't accept this world to manifest as it is.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to give value to channelling instead of focusing on the Physical Reality and walk towards a solution that is best for all physical lives because I've defined myself as powerless in comparison to the afterlife without realizing that it is all in reverse and that the physical is the Power and the Key to change this world and I, as a physical human being can stand up and be a part of a physical movement of practically change myself and this world.

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see that there is no visible solution that is coming from the afterlife because if there was, the messages would be direct, clear and based on practical common sense; it would have been a practical assistance and support for human kind; it would have been a practical assistance and support for beings to realize who and what they have become from generation after generation of self interest programmed design; it would have been a common sense approach with a practical application so that we could finally realize who we are as the mind and transform ourselves to a physical beings that walk in every moment according to a basic principle of Equality and Oneness as What is best for all.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to spend a huge amount of money for receiving different kind messages from the after life with regards to my Life as well as my past lives and I haven't seen that if such messages were of any kind of a real and substantial support, the being who delivers the message would have done what ever it takes to make sure that everyone has a free access to the message and not only those with Money and would have come up with a solution such as Equal Money System within the starting point that once the Equal Money System will be in place, all beings on earth will have access to a process of realignment of who they are as their mind to who they are as a physical human being.

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see the relationship between Money and Channelled messages and that the only way those channels can exists is if someone would pay for it and I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see that to sustain the returning paying clients that comes to receive more messages from the after life, the channeller must give them a positive and good message to make sure they will come back to feed their Ego with Energy.

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that I'm being occupied within my mind with multiple kind and versions of messages that I received from the after life and within that very preoccupation, I'm allowing myself to remain enslaved and control to my mind as thoughts, emotions, feelings and reactions and I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to give value to those messages as knowledge and information to feed up my curiosity and I haven't considered that Knowledge and information is useless if it doesn't follow with a practical application for a real self change because if knowledge and information would be of any value in this world, the world would have been already changed.

I forgive myself that I've NEVER accepted and allowed myself to inquire and question the being that comes through to give a message through a channeller, why is it that their message is in no way a message of Equality and Oneness so that the being can help me understand why people are suffering in a world of plenty and so, I would be able to practically do something to change this world and the experience of being in this world that are daily suffering.

 

I commit myself to show the relationship between Money and Spirituality and to prove that the only way spirituality can exists is through having people paying for their beliefs.

I commit myself to educate and show that spirituality is just another religion that like all other religion, is based on Money, Control and thus require extensive brainwashing to sustain itself.

I commit myself to show that if there was any truth to the channelled messages, they would have been direct, clear and with a practical solution in terms of how to assist and support oneself and this world as a whole, to bring about a world that is physically best for all.

I commit myself to develop a critical thinking educational programs so that people can stop blindly follow words that are being spoken by those who deliberately manipulate the words so that everyone could develop inner self trust trough  common sense approach within the principle of what is best for all after they have done proper research, investigation and walked practical self application and so, become an effective individual human being that express, direct and move oneself within a breath by breath physical and living application.

I commit myself to show that there is nothing divine in our mind and that the mind is in fact Evil manifestation that we have accepted and allowed ourselves to exists within and as and so, to show that the manifested world is a direct reflection to our Evil mind because we were the ones who have blindly created this world through our acceptance and allowance without never standing up for real and take the responsibility, as Life, to bring about a world that is worthwhile and worth living.