Holding myself captive in my own mind - Day 537

I've been looking at this point for quite a while. In fact, I started looking at it when I saw that I am holding past mistakes against people whom I judged, and in doing so, I saw that I didn't support them to move to a point of change.

For example, the judgement could come through a point of 'expectation' meaning, expecting someone to not change because their past action showed  that their application can't be trusted. I saw that I was expecting people to fail in changing a pattern they have been struggling to change and instead of holding their utmost potential of who they are, I've been reacting to the fact they haven't been changing.

But interestingly enough - what I did not see was how at the same time I've been expecting them to fail, I failed. That was because I always reacted to them not changing lol. And in that reaction, I didn't move myself to a point of change in the sense of stop reacting and stand as a point of support for them, with the pattern they are struggling to change.

IN other words, it was never about them not changing, it was about me not changing that I was mostly reacting to.

In looking at these things, another question came up. I usually don't ask metaphysical level questions because I can't answer the questions for myself but this one was interesting because the possibility the answer was 'yes' was big enough motivation for me to explore this option. I asked: "Is the reason why they don't change is because I'm not changing my reaction to them not changing?"

So now that the focus shifted completely to me I was looking at my self-honesty, responsibility and empowerment, and asked: where do I keep myself captive in my own mind? What are the patterns that I'm struggling to change? What ideas or judgement do I have about myself through which I keep myself locked in my own mind?

I turned the point back to myself and explored and still exploring and investigating the moments of self-judgement where I keep myself captive in my own mind and thus not allowing myself any moment of grace that could actually lead to a point of real time change.

It is actually this blog post that is the introduction to a blog series that I wrote: "Do I have the right to judge myself?". I will continue discussing and sharing more as it comes and for now, let's have a look or even make a list of all the moments we've been keeping ourselves captive in our minds due to self-judgement we've accepted and allowed to beLIEve to be real. Then, we'll set ourselves free from our own judgement with the support of specific self-help tools we can each apply for ourselves - Self Forgiveness, commitment to change and most importantly, the follow through with our commitment to change until we have, no matter how long it will take.

Thanks.

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Artist: Simon Birch

Should I blindly trust another - Day 530

After I wrote the previous blog, The Truth about Blind trust - Day 529  I saw the following quote by Brian Tracy:

"The glue that holds all relationships together, including the relationship between the leader and the led, is trust, and trust is based on integrity."

Looking at the examples we discussed in the previous blog - we can see how blind trust turned into a complete distrust when the objects of our trust lost their credibility and thus their integrity in our eyes' view. Yet, most of us just accepted the fact that integrity was lost and that relationships aren't trustworthy as a normal way of living instead of actually investigating solutions.

I think that we reached that level of 'giving up' inside of ourselves because things have always been this way and we are tired of fighting with each other in away so instead, we just accept the status-que and maintain some level of getting along with each other, knowing that we cannot absolutely trust anyone in this world. This is sad isn't it?

The question is, can we trust ourselves? Can we trust that in a moment of truth, we will act on what is best for everyone and not just on what is best for me? Can we trust ourselves to make decisions that would benefit the majority of this world? Will we, in moments of temptation take more instead of give? Many of us claim to be good people and see ourselves as those who want to create a better world, yet, in our daily action we prove that we are thinking of ourselves and ourselves only.

Understand, I am not here to judge anyone - I am here to be brutal honest so that we can face the point inside of ourselves and for once and for all, reach a level of self-honesty that would lead to us to a level of self-trust. Because unless we are able to trust ourselves, we will follow the same path we currently are at and blindly trust that something will change, that some good will come our way, not seeing that our physical reality showing us the exact opposite.

So look, let's be honest - we are not yet at a point of being able to blindly trust anything or anyone but ourselves. So let's establish that step first. The best way to establish self trust is through applying the principle - "Investigate all things and keep that which is good". Whenever something comes up inside of you that you are not sure about, check yourself, introspect and find the source (to help yourself with the process, please sign up for the free life mastery skills course - http://lite.desteniiprocess.com). by "something comes up inside of you" I mean - thoughts, reactions, blame, judgement, anger and so forth - get to a point of self honesty and see what activate and manifest that reaction inside of you instead of blindly trust that whatever came up inside of you is valid.

AND - when someone is saying something to you, no matter how good it sounds, check the information, don't blindly trust the information no matter who the person is. Do your research, develop critical thinking to discern the information in such a way that you can see clearly whether the information is something you can test for yourself or not.

When you develop the habit of investigating all things (both internally and externally) and keep that which is good, you start establishing a point of self-trust with yourself because you can trust now that you do not blindly follow information but actually checking and researching the information and could thus make an informative decision. In that, you also stop the habit of blaming and judging other people for suggestions that they gave and instead you support them when the information they carry is contaminated. You thus support yourself to stand with integrity and supporting others to develop integrity within themselves and others. Can you see where I am going with it? A key for successful relationships, a key for an actual change is by developing self-trust and that self-trust will be the guiding force that can be trusted to bring a change for this world that is of worth, that is of integrity and harmony.

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Art work : www.cuded.com