Do I have the right to Judge myself? Living in an experience of being controlled - Day 533

For context, please read:

Do you have the right to judge another - Day 531

Do I have the right to Judge myself? Potential consequences #1 - Day 532

In the previous blog, we looked at a potential consequences when we accept and allow self-judgement to exists inside of ourselves. We discussed a potential consequences of sabotaging/compromising and even ending your relationships with others.

I ended off with the statement:

"Will continue in my next blog with more potential outcomes when accepting and allowing self-judgement to be hidden but very much existed inside of ourselves. We will also look how to change this type of behaviour/pattern to be able to practically develop long lasting relationships of worth with others."

In this blog, we'll have a look at second potential consequence when we accept and allow our participation with self-judgement: Potential consequence #2: Living in an experience of being controlled.

Have you ever felt that you need to do things in secret or that you need to isolate yourself from everything and everyone so that you can do things without anyone knowing; have you ever felt that you need to diminish your expression around specific people? Have you ever experienced yourself avoiding certain people because you were concerned they will ask you a question you didn't want to answer?

If any of these questions were answered 'yes' than most likely that you are dealing with self-judgement yet projected through the eyes of others. You tell yourself that other people are to be blamed for why you need to live in secret, why you need to isolate or hide yourself or why you need to diminish certain expressions around them. As time goes by, you probably start feeling or experience yourself as if you are being controlled in your own environment, feeling you need your space, avoiding certain people and essentially, start blaming them for that, telling yourself a story of how much they are controlling you or your life. Obviously, this is not an absolute point but those of you who do accept and allow self-judgement to be their directive principle know what I am talking about. Don’t you?

What I have found in my own process of introspection is that when it came to my experience of feeling controlled by my family, friends or other people in my environment, it had nothing to do with them and everything to do with me. For example, I judged a specific expression as invalid to be expressed or believed it was not allowed to be expressed or had fears I would be judged if I had expressed it. So, I didn't allow myself to express myself within that specific expression which gave me the experience of being controlled, not seeing it was my own decision to diminish my expressions, not others.

The consequences of not being honest with yourself and allow yourself to judge your own expression and decisions is that this will create an experience of being controlled by others and you will make it so real in your mind that you'll try and go things in secrets, just not to face your own self-honesty. The consequences of that is that you'll have a relationship with people that is not based on integrity but rather on deception and we all know where that is going to lead you and your relationships..

Will continue in the next blog with more consequences when it comes to self-judgement.

--

Artwork: Pamela Dzaet Hill, painter, USA

The Secret Agent is being Targeted (Part 4) - Day 267

This is a continuation to the Previous blogs:

The Secret Agent in the Mind - Day 261

The Rewards and Justifications of the Secret Agent Character (Part 1) - Day 262

The Rewards and Justifications of the Secret Agent Character (Part 2) - Day 263

The Secret Agent is being Targeted - Day 264

The Secret Agent is being Targeted (Part 2) - Day 265

The Secret Agent is being Targeted (Part 3) - Day 266

 

Note - for the purposes of having a context to the following, I suggest to first read the previous blogs before continuing.

 

So now, we are at the Solution phase - How to assist and support oneself to Stop one's participation in the same thought pattern, the secret mind that keeps on repeating itself even though, one had applied Self Forgiveness and wrote down specific Commitment statement. In this, how to Stand when the Mind Protest and activate the 'Targeting System' that would influence one's Standing within themselves?

 

It is important for that matter to listen to: Quantum Systemization - The Time Control System - Part 12 and

Quantum Systemization - Repetitive Thought-Pattern Control System - Part 13.

In these interviews, the Mind Systems that are involved with the reason why it is so difficult to Stop the Participation with the thought pattern and within that, how and why the mind has back up systems for cases where one start becoming the Directive Principle of oneself and one's life. So yes, there are systems that runs in the background to make sure we won't ever get close to Physical and within that, develop a direct seeing of everything that exists within and without because that would mean the End of the Mind as Energy. and within that context, as above as below - if the Secret Agent expose the Truth, that would be the End of the Elite that Control and Govern the Majority of this world.

 

However, we cannot blame or justify the Systems that exists within and as our human physical body that Control and Govern our beingness because - it was us who accepted and allowed these system to run for us; it was us that abdicated our responsibility to Investigate all things and keep that which is best for all; it was us who have preferred running on auto pilot because it's easier than having to actually move and direct ourselves in every single moment; it was and it is us that always decides.

 

So how to we move from here? how can we stop the participation in the mind?

First thing is to come to peace with the fact that we have lost any form of control over our mind and that the mind is much more superior and advance than ourselves currently as we separated ourselves from our mind and gave the mind the power to tell us who and what we are.

 

The second step is to investigate all things - both within and without so that we have a bit of light in the Darkness of the mind. and here, I'm not referring to spiritualize the process but as a figure of speech. Getting to know what the mind is involve in all its dimension. So it is not that one would become enlightened or Free from all Physical Limitation, it is simply to get to know ourselves and this world from the inside out. Meaning, to move from Reactions to Prevention through identifying the core/source origin of the Problem and correct that which require correction that would result with the best for all outcome. That can be done in 2 steps.

 

1. Start your own process of writings, self forgiveness and self corrective living application. Only then, you'll face the Targeting system and you'll be more 'prepared' to face and stop the back up systems when they show themselves.
   Here, must one Remember - Judgements will come up when we fall, and we will fall and make mistakes but our only real fall is the participation with self judgement itself. Here, what one must understand is that we tend to judge that which we do not understand and this takes us to the next step:
2. Invest in your own self education on the Global level - both with watching and reading the vast information that exists over the internet with regards to the world system. Watch documentary (which I will add a few links at the end of this blog), read economics books and keep open mind, ask questions, dare to challenge what you believe you know to be able to step out of our inherited brainwashing.

Then also, invest in studying the Quantum Mind interviews on the individual level:

Quantum Mind - Self Awareness

Quantum Systemization

Physical Quantum mind that will soon be released on EQAFE.

 

Unfortunately, there is no Quick Fix or a God that will come and save us in the very last moment so, if you really care about your life and the Lives of the whole, you should start your research today. The Targeting system can NOT be your Excuse out of walking your Process or a point that you would justify to be able to give up. We have this Life - let's make the best out of it and within that, realize that once we change and participating directly with the change of the world, our children will enter to a world that may offer them Life that is worth while. So, if you as a motivation point isn't yet what moves you to take responsibility and change - do it for your children and the generations to come.

 

 

Suggested links to investigate:

 

Blind Spot

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=pByCxG2dIWY

War on Democracy

http://johnpilger.com/videos/the-war-on-democracy

The Century of the Self: Part 1- Happiness Machines

http://youtu.be/prTarrgvkjo

The Power Principle

http://metanoia-films.org/the-power-principle/

The Trap

http://archive.org/details/AdamCurtis_TheTrap

Psywar

http://metanoia-films.org/psywar/

Human Resources: Social Engineering in the 20th Century

http://metanoia-films.org/human-resources/

The Secret Agent is being Targeted - Day 264

 

 

This is a continuation to the Previous blogs:

The Secret Agent in the Mind - Day 261

The Rewards and Justifications of the Secret Agent Character (Part 1) - Day 262

The Rewards and Justifications of the Secret Agent Character (Part 2) - Day 263

 

Note - for the purposes of having a context to the following, I suggest to first read the previous blogs before continuing.

 

I'll start with a story that assisted me to understand the 'Targeting system' in a simple and Commonsensically way:

When I studied Law, I was interested in practicing the Criminal Law and before I made the decision whether or not I should go for it, I arranged a meeting with my Criminal Law Professor. Previous to the meeting, I was quite sure that the Professor will be the next stop before I'll commit myself to this life path. Little did I know that the meeting will be the stepping stone for my decision to not only go not peruse the Criminal law life path but to not become a lawyer at all because as far as I was concerned, being a lawyer wasn't something I really wanted to be but if I would have become a lawyer, I would only go for Criminal Law practice.

 

The Professor gave me some insights to consider, based on his past experiences and as I saw it, the points he pointed out were valid and made sense from the perspective of why it was best for me to not become a Criminal Lawyer. But within the context of this blog, one of the relevant point he said to me was something like:

"Let's say you start working with a client when he is quite young. Slowly but surely, the client would expose you to the truth of what they had actually done but since you are their lawyer, your job is to protect them. Now, let's say that this client is becoming part of Mafia. What would you do then? One option is to keep protecting the client and try sleeping at night which will be quite difficult because you know what you are allowing in this world. The other option is to say: "No more". Do you really think they will let you go so easily, when you know so much about them? when you are now a threat to them? when you showed your disloyalty to them? most likely that if you chose the second option, you'll be removed, disappear, dead. If you would have a family at this stage, your entire family would be in risk because the client would do what ever needs to be done to make you shut up and they will leave nothing for chance."

 

So, within that context, the Criminal Lawyer of a Mafia Client is acting as the Secret Agent. Although, not necessarily with the same benefits, rewards and experiences like the Government/Agency's Secret Agent.

The point is - when and as the Secret Agent would show signs of threat to the Government/Agency/Client wherein, the Government/Agency/Client would lose Everything they have worked for if the Secret Agent open their mouth, the Agent would be targeted as a threat and would most likely to be removed by unexpected 'Accident'.

Now, if you do your research, you would see that many world leaders where assassin or died in 'Unexpected accident' when they stood as a threat to the system of Control and Greed. Yes, many would say that I'm now participating with Conspiracy Theories but the truth of the matter is - Those that claim that without studying and investigating the History from all dimensions are in essence directed by FEAR as a justification that would allow them to remain ignorant because after all - Ignorant is bliss (when one has Money to afford the Bliss). 

If you Dare and allow yourself to practically connect the dots throughout history, you'd see for yourself the unspoken truth that effected your life, directly or indirectly and the Lives of all of us. You would see that this world would have already been a world that is best for all, if these world leaders would have the opportunity to establish and implement the policies they would have established, if they wouldn't have died from unexpected accidents.

 

The Secret Agent that dares to Question the System is immediately targeted. How does that correlate to the Secret Agent in the mind? This will be explained in my next blog.

Walking Breath by Breath - Part 1 - Day 160

I'm taking a momentarily break from the blog series that I've started walking regarding love, sex and Sexuality because today, I woke up with a knife stuck in my back (Metaphorically) and since the pain is here, the point is here, I might as well look at it and walk the practical correction.

 

The point is my Desire for a Magical solution, a desire that is based on the idea/belief/perception that once we step out of the mind, we access this godly domain and we could see behind the physical.

When looking at this belief, firstly I experience resistance which indicate that I'm right at the POINT and I must now look, in self honesty, what the hell I'm creating inside my mind and through this hell, I bound myself in my own prison - never getting in fact out.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to place trust in Knowledge and information instead of walking breath by breath in self trust, testing each and every point for myself and as myself and making decisions according to that which is best for all through letting go of my self interest desires for experiences and Stand Absolute, here, Breathe - always checking, assessing, re-evaluating, changing the starting point, aligning - in breath by breath.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to believe that when one is stepping out of one's mind, one transform and hold Godly powers where one could see more than meets the eyes and can thus, no longer require for example, seeing a doctor, as one is able to move the physical at will. Within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to desire having these Godly powers which indicate that I haven't yet walked my process from within the starting point of realizing what is best for all but rather walked my process, to be and have Godly powers, as a Desire that is based on my own self interest wish, for attaining and having a specific experience during my life time. In this, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand how through accepting and allowing a desire to have godly powers once I transcend my mind, I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my death, as I've believed that I must achieve this Godly powers before I die, before it will be too late. 

 

I forgive myself  that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to simply live and be, Breath by Breath and instead, I consistently and continuously desired for MORE; more than what is here, more than what is possible to be here.  Within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to seek for this 'more' through Knowledge and information without realizing that everything is already here; from that perspective, the same as the Nature and The animal kingdom exists and functions according to physical and practical knowledge and information that through that physical and practical knowledge and information, they support their existence to the utmost potential it can be, I do not require for MORE knowledge and information as Mind Energy Knowledge and information to exists and justify my existence but rather, educate and skilled myself within and as practical and physical information that I could apply as myself and accordingly, would support myself and this existence within and as that which is best for all as a principle.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to be controlled and enslaved to myself through my own desires for MORE and through this desires, I trapped myself in my mind, not considering to ever stop, breath, and walk in self integrity, breath by breath, step by step, getting to know who I am as LIFE that is HERE, in simplicity, in humbleness and respect for myself and existence as a whole, Equal and One.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed through the desire for more, to keep myself occupied in my mind, trying to make sense from that which doesn't make sense, forming ideas, assumptions, perceptions as if it is the ultimate truth, without testing the point for myself, see what comes up, see who I am within that moment, see if I can alter and change the outcome into that which is best for all; see if I can change the starting point to align with that which is best for all, challenge myself and my existence, go behind my beliefs about myself and keep on testing and seeing who I am, how did I create myself and whether there is more than how I have limited myself to be and become; more from the perspective of more than what I constricted myself into and as through believes, opinions, judgement, desires etc.

 

 

I commit myself to assist and support myself in returning and aligning myself back to myself, and in that, to stop thoughts, feelings, emotions, reactions, possessions as I push myself to remain in breath, within and as self trust because I see, realize and understand that placing my trust in knowledge and information is to accept and allow my own imprisonment to the knowledge and information of those who have come before me, instead, stepping out of the box that I've defined myself to be, check, test, assess and re-evaluate each and every point for myself as that is the only thing that I can trust - when and as it is me, who have realized a point for myself, me, that is walking breath by breath, me that have proven to myself that I stand and within that trust, I change, alter and align myself to the principle that is best for all.

 

I commit myself to STOP looking at things from the Old system point of view and in that - placing judgement towards that which I do not understand - either positive or negative. In that, I see, realize and understand that there is nothing Godly in stopping one's mind as we are still bound to the physical space/time laws which means, that stopping the mind will not give one's Godly properties/powers but rather, stopping the Mind and becoming Equal and One to and as the physical would allow one to consider everything and everyone in any given moment, in each and every breath, wherein one would direct and move oneself towards only that which is best for all, as one is no longer bound to the self interests/fears that one had created oneself through and as the mind. in that, one isn't special, it is just what it is. a living physical human beings that walking breath by breath according to that which is best for all.

 

I commit myself to always Assess and evaluate my starting point in every breath, to make sure that I'm always aligned with that which is best for all. I see, realize and understand that properties that I've assigned/attached/defined/associated with one that had step out of the mind and through that definition, I've created the desire within and as me, to have these properties for myself and in that, making this process about me instead of a principle - that which is best for all. I commit myself to father investigate the Fear of Death as I see that accepting and allowing Fear of Death to control and influence my decision is not what is best for all but only that which is best for my own self interest which is no longer acceptable.
 

I commit myself to Delete all Knowledge and information that is of the mind, as Memories and past experiences that I've utilize to consistently looking for more and rather, focus on physical and practical knowledge and information that I could practical apply to sustain, maintain and create a world that is best for all, breath by breath.

 

I commit myself to STOP my desires for MORE than what is here and in that, when and as I see myself drifting off to my mind, fantasize, imagining and calculating how to manipulate the situation to my own benefit, I STOP, I breathe, I make sure that I'm HERE, assessing, testing and checking who I am in that very moment and accordingly align and change myself, in one Breath at a time.

 

 

To be continued...

Sex in the Dark – Sexual Inadequacy–Part 1 - Day 125

This is a continuation to:

Sexual Inadequacy - Overview - Day 124

 

 

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize the reaction I am experiencing when and as someone sees me naked wherein, from the day I was born, I've been wearing clothes on my body, covering my body and through this, creating the perception that only clothes on the body is validated and naked is extremely wrong. In this, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize how I've been programming myself to believe that I must wear clothes all the time so that no one would ever sees my naked body and this imprint that I've installed within me, has influence my sexuality as being uncomfortable with my naked human physical body either with myself or with my partner.

 

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see the extent of programming that I've inserted within and as myself wherein, if I'm taking a shower or changing clothes and someone mistakably enter the room, I would immediate react and cover myself so that no one would ever see me naked.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to associate a naked body with SHYness and accordingly, I made sure that no one will see me fully naked and in this, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to investigate the nature of SHYness within and as me in relation to being naked because according to society/culture norms and codes, being naked is something that is not acceptable and one must feel ashamed and shy when one is naked around other human beings.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to believe that the only time sex is allowed and validated is when it's dark and accordingly, I've made the connection that sex can only be done when the lights are off.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to react with backchat when and as I'm having sex, just before we start the act, to always make sure that when I'll be naked, the lights are off so my partner would not be able to see me or to be more specific, my naked human physical body.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to NOT realize how and why I've become so separated from myself as my human physical body, to the extent of which I feel uncomfortable being naked with my partner, not to mention, with myself.

 

 

I forgive myself that I've not accepted and allowed myself to SEE the extent of the brainwashing within the Adam, Eve and the Snake story which I was taught in a very young age and I haven't realize the snake represent the MIND, as the knowledge and information we give value to, and only through the mind, we formulate all kinds and types of ideas/beliefs/opinions that limit our physical expression as we then start experiencing and living our lives from/as the MIND, in absolute separation from WHO we are as a living physical human beings. In this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to give value to the Adam, Eve and the Snake story as my morality that will dictate me to cover my human physical body with clothes because otherwise, it's immoral, wrong and forbidden.

 

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to SEE, realize and understand that my need of having sex in the Dark isn't Normal, despite of 60% or more of the people in this world preferring having sex in the dark and in this, I forgive myself that I've validated my preference of having sex in the dark through justifying it within myself as normal, and everyone are having sex in dark, Not seeing, realizing and understanding the extent of the separation I'm accepting and allowing within and as myself, to not only hide myself and my human physical body but to also lie to myself through justifications and excuses so that I won't have to investigate WHY and HOW I've accepted and allowed myself to feel ashamed of my human physical body and accordingly change, be intimate with myself as well as my partner.

 

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see the relationship between my need to have sex in the dark and my perception of myself as my human physical body wherein, I've created ideas and opinions about how I look in comparison to a picture I've stored in my mind as how I should look and so long as the picture in my mind doesn't match to my human physical body appearance, I would judge and do what ever it takes to hide my naked physical human body and accordingly, develop the "preference" to have sex in the dark.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to develop my sexual position preference according to how my body looks like and due to the extent of self judgement with regards to my human physical body appearance, I've limited my sexuality and my exploration of who I am within my sexuality according to how my body would look like instead of what I, as my body, physically prefer, regardless how my body looks like in various positions.

 

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to be intimate with myself and accordingly, with my partner because I've limited my sexuality within the ideas and judgements I hold onto my human physical body appearance and accordingly, haven't accepted and allowed myself to explore, investigate and enjoy a physical expression within and as sex.

 

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that we are NOT living in a Photoshop world where everyone looks so perfect and shaped as what I see on the magazines and TV and in this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that only if I would look perfect according to my eye's view, I could allow myself to explore my sexuality with my partner and be open with my sexuality as I could exposed my naked perfectly shaped physical body.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to believe and think while having sex with my partner, that he would judge my human physical body and accordingly, would decide to leave me and find someone else to be with, someone who looks better than me and thus, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to limit my sexual expression to a limited types of positions that would ensure my human physical body would still look sexy so that my partner wouldn't be frustrated that he is stuck with me while being able to be with other perfectly shaped women.

 

 

For more context, please read -

Sexual Expression – Overview  Day 112

Investigating Sexual Expression - Self Forgiveness Part 1 - Day 113

Investigating Sexual Expression - Self Commitments - Part 1 - Day 114

 

Investigating Sexual Expression - Part 2 - Day 121

Investigating Sexual Expression - Self Forgiveness - Part 2 - Day 122

Investigating Sexual Expression - Self Commitments - Part 2 - Day 123

 

Spilling semen in vain - Day 115

Spilling semen in vain - Self Forgiveness -  Day 116

Spilling semen in vain - Self Commitments -  Day 117

 

Be Fruitful and Multiply - Day 118

Be Fruitful and Multiply - Self Forgiveness - Day 119

Be Fruitful and Multiply - Self Commitments - Day 120

Journey to Life - Day 100

Today, when  I realized that it's my 100 of Writing myself to Become LIFE, initially my reaction was - Shit, Day 100! Man! Cool! but then, in self honesty, when looking back at those last 100 days, I've realized the importance of continue writing every day. I mean, what I've accomplished in 100 days were just a small changes, nothing substantial that I can say - I changed. No..

 

Obviously, I'm not saying that from a point of judgement or diminishment, I'm saying it as this is what it is. in Self Honesty, there is a long way to walk, lots of suppressions  that I must allow myself to reveal to myself, face, let go and change, practically and physically.

 

When I asked myself the question: Why is it, that despite of me seeing the points that must be changed, I still allow myself to be preoccupied by myself in my mind? Why is it, that despite of me KNOWing what must be done, I am still not doing it? The answer is simplistic, I've approached the points from Knowing instead of self realization that is fully integrated as me - Within and as me and thus, what must be let go of is KNOWLEDGE and simply Living the practical Living expression of my realizations as Self change.

 

So, how to assist and support myself to integrate my realization as ME, as the Physical flesh that is me? The answer is also a simplistic one - it's to give myself the Permission to Decide! Give myself the permission to let go of all my desires as I can see very clearly that the desires are the stumbling blocks that I've not accepted and allowed myself to remove and are in essence the points that leads me to temptations, to remain in characters.

 

So.. What now, I remove the desires, the stumbling blocks are removed and.. How to live? When there are no longer systems that dictate each and every steps? How to live when there are no memories that comes up and tells me where to go, how to speak, how to express myself? That will be an interesting journey in itself as I see, realize and understand that from that moment onwards, it will be Me, as the physical flesh that will direct and move myself in every moment of every breath. Nothing is automated, it's self movement, here. So, I work with what is here, what is practically physically in my hands, I test the information for myself and see if it's aligned with the principle of that which is best for all, and I make the decisions accordingly. Because - what must be understood and realized is that I decide, in every single moment. I DECIDE.

 

And thus, I commit myself to identify my desires in its totality, to not leave anything behind that will keep an open door for any temptations; I commit myself to assist and support myself to dissect myself from all and every dimensions of my mind through a process of daily writing to be able to see the Desires that I've set forth for my fall and thus, to not change in fact.

Changing the Human Nature - Day 89

This is a continuation to my blog:

Humans are so fucked up - you cannot trust anyone - Day 88

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to give up on Humanity within and as the statement: "Humans are fucked up - you cannot trust anyone" and I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that all along, I have accepted my limitations, my programming and the design that I've created myself within and as and I have allowed the limitation, programming and design within and as this world, as equal to and one as me and through my acceptance and allowances, I directly responsible for us as humanity, in our current nature/design because I haven't take my own responsibility of stepping out of that which I've accepted and allowed myself to be and become in separation of me, stand as an example that a change is possible and that the only reason we won't allow ourselves to change is because or our self interest nature which blinds us from seeing clearly what we have ignored and disregarded from the beginning of time and how through our ignorance, we have accepted and allowed ourselves to create and manifest a world as it is exists today.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself as the giving up character, to use, justify and make excuses of why I cannot change because changing would mean to let go of the character that I've created myself as, in separation of me and within that, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to forget that I was the one who created myself as the human nature, and that I was so powerful that I've even created the forgetfulness character so that I can make sure, that I will never bring myself back to myself within and as equality and oneness as LIFE that is best for all.

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself and this world as equal and one to realize, understand and see that so long as I accept and allow the evil secret mind that I've become in absolute equality and oneness and therefore, have accept and allow spiteful thoughts, jealousy, comparison, competition, judgement, diminishment of others in my mind, I cannot be trusted to the extent to which - if I think, I can't be trusted and within and as equality and oneness fuckupness - I cannot trust any one who accept and allow thoughts to be one's directive principle in separation of oneself and this existence as a whole.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to be petrified to face myself as my mind, as what I have accepted within myself and this world, and thus, the easy way out if through stating that the human nature will never change and within that, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to give my power away within the desire to belief that the human nature cannot be changed as I've abdicated my responsibility to test for myself whether I can change and stand as an example that the human nature can be changed.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to justify why I'm not willing to face that which I've accepted and allowed myself to be and become within and as the statement: "the human nature cannot be changed" and furthermore, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to hurt, harm and kill anyone who dared to stand up and prove that change, within and without is possible.

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see that I'm EVIL in fact because I accept and allow myself to participate within and as my evil secret mind, judging, spiting, competing with everything and everyone: my best friends as well as my enemies and I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realize that unless I take the responsibility to in fact face myself and all that I've accepted and allowed within myself and within this world, I'm directly responsible for the abuse that manifested within and as this world.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to use the excuse: If I stop my mind, I will become a zombie" and I haven't taken the responsibility to test and confirm that excuse/belief for myself because within and as me I already KNEW and didn't want to face that stopping the mind is the KEY, stopping the mind is an extensive process that one has to walk in absolute self dedication.

I commit myself to show that a change is possible through my 7 years commitment of writing. And so, through writing myself out, I stand as an example that a change is possible because I've committed to myself to never give up on myself, as I see, realize and understand that giving up on myself means that I'm giving up on LIFE that is best for all.

I commit myself to show the stupidity loop that we have created as ourselves wherein us as the creators of the multiple characters within and as ourselves, also created a character to forget that we are in character and so, me within and as my powerfulness, have created a loop where we could never get out of, unless we do, through taking the responsibility to let go of all our characters, to download the program of and as LIFE that is best for all into and as our physical flesh and change who and what we have become to and as a principle of LIFE that is best for all.

I commit myself to show and expose that Trust cannot exists as long as one THINK. We have created a world based on thinking and it is clear that we haven't done a good job. Our relationships with others are based on thinking and it is obvious what goes on inside one's mind towards their beloved one. (if one dare to be self honest and admit to oneself the actuality of what I'm writing here)

I commit myself to SHOW and PROVE that when stopping the mind, one doesn't become a zombie, as I'm walking my own process of stopping the mind and it doesn't seem that I'm becoming a zombie but quite the opposite - fully expressive, A LIVE and functioning.

Humans are so fucked up - you cannot trust anyone - Day 88

From time to time, I hear the statement - "yes, it is fucked up, it's human nature, there is nothing we can do about it. We simply cannot trust anyone, there are people that will stab a knife in your back the moment you turn around, there will be those who will rape the neighbours daughter, there will be those who will murder the prime minister, there will be those…" and the list goes on and on and on.

However, what is fascinating is that within that statement or various types of statement within and as the nature of the statement above, one has already given up on humanity. One has already given up on the possibility to change human nature and simply accepted within and as oneself and allowed within and as this world, the fact that the human nature is so fucked up and there is nothing we can do about it.

But is it in fact so? Is it the human nature that cannot be changed or is it me that will not dare myself to change? I will vote for the second option as I've seen within and as myself the extent of self will that one must become for one to absolutely change one's preprogram design / the human nature.

Ok, so yes, we cannot trust anyone in this world but that is not because of who they are - it is because who we are within and as our own human nature/preprograming. Why?

Let's do an exercise - imagine a person you dislike. What are the thought you have about him/her? What is the nature of the thoughts you accept and allow within and as your mind? Can you see it? Not so pretty hay?

but now you will tell me - well, I don't like this person because of this and that and you will justify why it's ok that you have accepted and allowed those thoughts towards this person because I mean, that’s what everyone does when they don't like someone, nothing wrong with me disliking someone, so stop with your stupid questions.

Let's continue with our journey into the mind and now - imagine your best best best best friend in this world. Ohhh, that's nicer, it feels good now within and as yourself. I understand. BUT, your very best friend has now disagreed with you and a friction manifested; You'll have to become self honest now, to be able to answer the following question: What is the nature of your thoughts towards your best best friend now? What memories from the past did you bring to this moment of friction that have been suppressed until this very moment of friction till you burst all out and took all the shit out.

So you see, I wouldn't trust you as my best friend exactly as I wouldn't trust you if you were my biggest enemy so long as I know what's going on in your secret mind; and the only reason I know what’s going on in your secret mind is because I'm exactly the same as you, within and as the human nature that I've accepted and allowed myself to be and become. Meaning, as long as we THINK, we cannot be trusted and the only way we can be trusted by ourselves and others is when and as we stop thinking.

 

When we say that the human nature cannot be changed, it is ONLY because we don't want to change within and as ourselves, simply because we have never known ourselves otherwise. We believe that we will become zombies if we stop the mind but we never actually decided to test the point for ourselves to see if there is any ground to our belief. I mean, if it comes to the point that you would become zombie when the mind stop and you stop thinking than, go ahead and start thinking again. It is very simplistic.

The only way to make a change in this world, is to first stop our own evil secret mind that continuously think 24/7 non stop. We judge others, we judge even ourselves; we are jealous of others; we compete with everything and everyone for our own limitation; we're spiteful towards each other; would you want to be in relationship with yourself when you SEE very clearly what's going on in your secret mind towards those who are in relationship with you? would you want to be in relationship with others when you KNOW what is the nature of the thoughts they have towards you in a moment of friction? NO! and yet, we accept and allow it.

To be continued with a practical support within and as Self Forgiveness statements and Corrective Commitment - the tools of Stopping the mind and becoming LIFE that is trustworthy.

The Secret War between Women - Daughter in War with Authority - Part 4 - Day 56

This is a continuation to:

The Secret War between Women - Overview - Day 52

The Secret war between Women - the Childhood years - Part 1 - Day 53

The Secret War between Women starts at home - Part 2 - Day 54

The Secret War between Women - Mother Daughter relationship - Part 3 - Day 55

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to create an inferiority response pattern to authority figures in my life from my first encounter with my mother's imposed authority onto me as a child and I have NOT realized that I've imprinted the response pattern into my physical and lived it out as back chat throughout my life when and as I felt threatened by a female's authority and have thus then, allowed the secret thoughts towards the female without even realize that I had no directive awareness in that moment and I was blindly following my pre-programming and within that, I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to take my responsibility to investigate and introspect the origin/source of the subconscious backchat that I've manifested towards a female that I perceived as authority and simply accepted it to be natural response that comes up from within me.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to react in a form of backchat/internal conversation/thoughts towards women that I perceive to have authority over me and I haven't stopped for a moment to bring the point back to myself, to investigate the origin of the resistance and the core of my allowed backchat, because If I would investigate, I would see how I've accepted and allowed a specific  response pattern in relation to authority figures  already in my childhood years where I've resisted my mother's authority and have thus externalized the resistance towards all women that represent my mother according to my eye's view, in separation of me.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself as a child in this world to experience myself as inferior towards my mother because I've accepted the authority of my mother as valid, normal and natural and thus, have created a relationship with her that is based on authority/submission which within that, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that my acceptance of me as inferior during the age of 0-7, has become a physical memory that is in the flesh of my beingness which I've externalized within my relationship with women to such an extent that when and as I experience myself threatened, the memories from my subconscious mind will come up as a backchat/internal conversation/ thoughts towards a woman while I had no real understanding of the origin/core/source and thus, lived out the secret war between Woman - internally and externally.

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to stand up and stop the inferior response pattern to authority and allowed myself to react every time I've faced a being that I've perceived to be superior/has authority on me and within that, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that unless I stop pattern by pattern, I will pass on the very same patterns to my children and they will pass them on to their children and thus, it is my responsibility to stand up, change myself and thus change the future of the generations that will comes after me by giving them a chance to express who they are without me imposing my own programmed designs onto them but rather stand as a stable support for them within their processes of becoming and standing as LIFE.

I commit myself to stop the inferiority response  to authority pattern as I realized how I've initially created the pattern as a child and my responsibility within and the consequences it if I won't stop, delete and correct myself as the outflows upon the generation to come.

I commit myself to take my responsibility and check and investigate every reactions, response, physical body movements and eyes movement that I have automated without my directive awareness and search for the source/origin/core point where I've initially created the pattern and accordingly delete and continue walking breath by breath.

I commit myself to show how and why in the first 7 years of the child's life, the child is creating and developing one's personalities through the examples of the patterns   and why thus, it is important to have programs to support all parents with having appropriate parenting skills so that we could stop passing on, generation after generation, patterns that do not support any LIFE and instead provide the children to come a LIFE that is actually worth living where they could express themselves as who they are.