Dependency, Independency, Interdependency and Gratefulness - Day 442

This is a continuation to my previous blog - Gratefulness as a living word - Day 441 where I discussed the word 'grateful' as how we currently live the word as a living expression of ourselves.

Within this blog, I will have a look at the 'Sounding' of the word 'Gratefulness' as a step to see what 'Gratefulness' as a Principle of Oneness and Equality, as an absolute living expression of ourselves really is.

 

Sounding of the word Gratefulness: Grate-Full-Ness.

Grate:  to reduce to small shreds by rubbing against a rough or sharp perforated surface | To annoy.

Full: Complete; entire

Ness: indicating state, condition, or quality.

 

In the way the word 'Gratefulness' is currently spelled - it is how we are currently living the word 'gratefulness' as a living expression of ourselves wherein, we are walking as grated (separated) human beings that moves in Fulfillment of our own self-interested (state/condition). If you read my previous blog you would see how within the context of the sounding of the word, there is alignment in how we currently live the word 'gratefulness'.

 

The fascinating thing is that in the sounding of the word, lies a gift, a potential: Great-Full-Ness.

Let me explain the difference:

 

What we haven't yet understood is that at the moment, we live the word 'Gratefulness' in a narrow and limited expression where our gratefulness is dependent on another giving us benefits or rewards while Independency in relation to gratefulness seldom exists within oneself. 'Gratefulness' as a living word is unconditional to whomsoever is rewarding us in some way or another because within that, what we have missed is the Dependency, Independency and Interdependency within our relationships with ourselves and others. Thus to understand 'Gratefulness', we must first understand the relationship between   Dependency, Independency and Interdependency as within this relationship the word 'Gratefulness' as a living expression actually exists.

 

So, we will get to the sounding of the word 'Gratefulness' in a moment - first let's define in a nutshell what  Dependency, Independency and Interdependency is:

 

Independency - How one walk one's process alone because essentially, each one is alone within one's own mind, in what we accept and allow within ourselves. Gratefulness within that context would be one's gratefulness towards oneself for assisting and supporting self in any given moment in stepping out of one's mind and stepping into a physical correction in one's living application within the principle of Oneness and Equality. In other words, Gratefulness is linked/conditioned to a principle of Oneness and Equality rather than any specific rewards and/or benefits we get from something or someone as a point of self interest.

 

Dependency - How we are dependent on another within our own independent processes in terms of the other standing as the catalyst, the trigger that activates a point within ourselves that we must correct and align for/as ourselves. From that perspective, this is mostly where frictions and conflicts occur within our relationships to others but the problem is that we tend to take the other personally and perpetuate the conflict/friction with another instead of being grateful for the window of opportunity that had opened up in the friction/conflict when one is taking responsibility for one's independent process and accordingly face the point, investigate, align and correct within oneself.

 

Interdependency - How we then communicate and share with others our Independent process. Here interdependent process contain 2 fundamental dimensions:

1. In one's relationships to others in their direct environment: As was explained in the 'Dependent' Process where the other is standing as the catalyst/trigger for one's own independent process - sharing and discussing the points with the other from the starting point of taking self responsibility for one's participation in one's reaction/conflict/friction would assist and support the individuals in their relationship with one another in empowering and strengthening one another in one's independent process.
2. In one's relationship to others in the world: As one walk one's independent and dependent process and accordingly share one's realizations, solutions and practical physical consideration through the media of the global mind (internet), one is assisting and supporting others in the world in their independent process.

Here, Gratefulness exists within the opportunity we each have to assist and support ourselves in our independent process through the examples the others are sharing as this gives us the opportunity to investigate the point for ourselves and if necessary align, correct and change.

 

Will continue in my next blog

 

 

 

 

From Dependency to Independency - Day 439

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to be dependent on another to direct points 'for' me instead of expanding myself by seeing, observing and learning how to effectively direct points, through the example of another. In this, I forgive myself that I've not accepted and allowed myself to realize that by creating a dependency on another to direct points 'for' me, I am limiting myself in the belief that I'm Inferior and unable to effectively direct points myself.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not Trust myself for being able to effectively direct specific points and thus, believed that I'm dependent on another to direct specific points 'for' me and within the distrust of myself, I haven't allowed myself to expand myself, to expand the way I look at things, expand the way I observe people, situations and events and accordingly, develop a direct seeing of what is here and how to effectively direct that which is here as an expression of myself.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to within the belief of not being able to direct a specific situation with another human being, to in fact physically live this belief of myself as my living application which within that, I would accept and allow myself to build up and accumulate energy as emotions such as frustration, resentment, anger and judgment towards the being without realizing that I must first direct these points within myself to ensure that when I look again at the points, I see what is really physically presented here and accordingly, effectively direct the points if/when the point still require direction.

 

I commit myself to when and as I see a point that require direction, to first turn the point back to myself and direct within myself any and all sort of reactions I have towards the point. Then, to unconditionally place myself in the shoes of another and assess whether the point still require direction and if so - direct when the moments present itself.

 

I commit myself to NOT accept and allow myself to limit myself within the belief that I'm not able to effectively direct a point because I realize that within the belief of not being able to direct specific point, I'm giving my power to my mind where I would start accumulating and build up all sort of energetic reactions, which creates a smoke screen from which I'm literally unable to see what is really here, what requires direction and what would be the best approach to/when directing a specific point.
 

I commit myself to no longer accept and allow myself to depend on another to direct points 'for' me but to instead slowly but surely develop direct seeing skills through which I would allow myself to direct points within myself and my environment as an expression of who I am within the principle of 'what is best for all'. I realized that creating dependency towards another to direct points 'for' me is a limitation of myself as I haven't given me the opportunity to face the point myself, investigate who I am in relation to the point ,what can I learn from it so that I could also stand as a point of direction when/if the moment requires direction.

 

Please also listen to – Independence - 2013 - The Future of Consciousness - Part 33

Depression - Self Interest or a Real Physical Condition? - Day 221

This is a continuation to:

The Elite's delusion of stress - Part 1 - Day 45 The Elite's Delusion of Stress - Part 2 - Day 46 The Decision of TIME - Day 67 opy Paste Character - The Education System - Day 184 Is it possible to Cheat yourself? Day 185 It is time to STOP Existing as a Human Machine - Day 186 The End of Times - Day 187 Facing the Evil within - the KEY to LIFE - Day 188 Fear of Disappointing others - Day 189 The Psychology of TIME - Day 190 I Regret, therefor, I'm a Good Person. NOT!!! - Day 191 The REAL Fear - Day 192 The things we Won't tell ANYONE - Day 193 Missing out on the Good Life - Day 194 Let's have some Fun - Day 195

Stupidity Loop - Jumping from the Bad to the Good to the Bad - Day 196 The Smoke Screen of Ignorance - Day 197 Leaving in a Dream - Day 208 Having the Life Style you always dreamt to have - Day 209 IT is MY time Now - don't say a word - Day 210 Let's go on Vacation - Day 211 Comparison is a Bitch - Day 212 Damn, I will never have everything done - Day 213 Standing as an Example - Self Interest or Self Realization? - Day 214 From the Bossy to the Loser - Day 215 Jealousy and Frustration - I want the Life they Have - Day 216 The Poison within Irritation and Anger - Day 217 Judgement as self Perfection - Day 218 Impatience as Evilness - Day 219 Please feel Sorry for me - Day 220

 

 

For the purpose of context, suggest reading these posts above prior to reading the post below, if you haven’t already. Here I will be walking the 'I don't have TIME' Character - Reaction Dimension - Practical support with Self Forgiveness and Self Commitments.

 

 

Reactions Dimension:

* Jealousy

* Frustration

* Irritation

* Anger

* Judgment and Self Judgment

* Impatient

* Self Pity

* Depression

* Anxiety

* Stress

 

 

 

 

----

 

Depression

 

One must understand that the context of what I've been walking in my last few blogs was Specifically within the context of the 'I don't have Time' Character. Today, I will be walking the Depression that I've accepted and allowed myself to participate with, within the 'I don't have Time' character.

 

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that the self created Depression that I've accepted and allowed to exists within and as me, when the 'I don't have time' character take the front, was done deliberately to justify the belief that I don't have time as Equal to and One as the accepted and allowed Self Pity design. (For more context, please read the previous blog - Please feel Sorry for me - Day 220).

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to believe myself when I felt Depressed because apparently, I didn't have time and within that belief, I've sabotaged, compromised and limited myself in actually looking at what is behind the Depression and how I was utilizing the depression as self manipulation to not face my own self interest desires that were activated within and as my mind, in the imagination domain. (For more Context, please read Stupidity Loop - Jumping from the Bad to the Good to the Bad - Day 196 and Leaving in a Dream - Day 208)

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to follow the feeling of Depression to justify why I took a moment for myself, to do nothing, and why it was 'ok' for me to neglect and compromise the things I committed myself to get done and instead went and do things to please my desire for entertainment because according to Society codes that I've accepted and allowed as myself, as a religion of myself, "it is valid to take a momentary 'break' when feeling Depressed; everybody does that".

 

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see how I've manipulated myself and others within the Depression embodiment within the belief that I'm entitle to feel depressed because everybody does from time to time and therefor, I can take a moment and indulge within my self interest desires even though 'I don't have time' for it. Within this, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to consider the Physical reality but rather, trusted my mind within the experience of Depression to justify for myself that it's ok to take a momentary break and thus, have not realized, seen and understood that within that justification, my directive Principle is my Mind and not Me that moves equal and one as the physical as what is best for all. In this, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see, that I do not require any form of manipulation to move myself in any given moment but rather, stand in self honesty, assess what would be best for all in a moment and accordingly move myself, without the mind telling me how I feel, what I should do, who or what I am

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to base my decisions according to how I perceive my Experience through my mind instead of trusting the Physical within the principle of what is best for all and move myself accordingly. Within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to trust the experience of Depression, as if it is me, not seeing, realizing and understanding how I am the only creator of the depression within and as me and how I have used and abused myself in manipulating myself within the belief that I am depressed, to justify my fall into my own desires in the nature of self interest and to thus, compromise myself within giving up on that which I've committed myself to.

 

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand how deliberate depression is, within and as me where I would give up on Life, on the Principle of what is best for all through justifying to myself my fall in the name of Depression that would entitle me to indulge and take the time I require to 'heal' myself from the depression because apparently, it wasn't me who decided to become depressed "because it is real and I could feel it" and within that, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to trust the Physical, to trust the Principle of what is best for all and instead, trusted my mind, in separation of me, within the belief that I'm experiencing Depression and that it is real because I can feel it.

 

I Commit myself to when and as I see myself accessing Depression, and now I'm referring whatever the reason for the self created depression is, not only in the context of 'I don't have time' character to Stop, Breathe, and remind myself why and How I've seen for myself that I've deliberately created depression to manipulate myself in not facing the real core/source/origin of the Depression as a cover-up to justify my desires in the nature of self interest. Within that, I commit myself to investigate and further expand the my SF application with regards to Depression within all the layers of the mind, for myself, and accordingly, to walk the correction process that is required to be walked, in self honesty/realization.

 

I Commit myself to Trust the Physical as what is here that I can cross reference and within that, to not trust the mind within the experience that I 'Feel' as I now see, realize and understand that whatever I feel and see through my mind is self created deception and it's not actual direct seeing of and as the Physical and if I accept and allow myself to trust my mind, I accept and allow the diminishment of myself, as living physical being and within that, in every moment that I accept and allow myself to base my decisions according to what I feel or see through my mind, I miss a breath and a window of opportunity to in fact change and walk, breath by breath, within and as the principle of that which is best for all lives.

 

I Commit myself to Establish Physical Self Trust within and as myself and to assist and support me in making decisions that are based on Physical cross referenced investigation rather than making decisions that are based on mind Trust as I've seen and proven to myself that I cannot trust my mind in anyway whatsoever.

Melancholia after Break Up Continued - Day 174

This is a continuation to:

Part 1 - My First Love.

Part 2 - What is Love to me?

What is Spiritual Love to me? - Part 3 - Day 158

No Sex - No Relationship - Day 167

Men only think about Sex? - Day 168

Values System Within my Mind – Day 169

The Love Experience - Day 170

Wanting to be Saved by Prince Charming - Day 171

Why Females attracted to Males that are unavailable for a relationship - Day 172

Melancholia after a Break Up - Day 173

 

I Commit myself to Remind myself that going on and on in my mind, looping around memories, trying to figuring out what I've done wrong and how I can correct myself is impractical and thus, when and as I see myself accessing my mind, perpetuating the Sadness that I've accepted and allowed within and as myself to immediately STOP, BEATHE and Literally bring myself back here, to and as my human physical body and utilize the 4 Count breath if necessary till the Energy dissipate and I'm clear and stable within and as myself. Within this, I commit myself to assist and support myself in seeing the nature of the Melancholia, My Starting point and the Hidden Desire that activated the point through writing, SF and Practical Corrective Actions.

 

I Commit myself to Remind myself that accessing Melancholic mode and within that, accepting and allowing Melancholia to become my entire existence is unacceptable as I see, realize and understand that through allowing myself to become Melancholic, I accept and allow myself to give up on myself through separating myself to such an extent of believing myself to be so Sad and that this sadness is real, not seeing, realizing and understanding that for my mind, this Sadness is a good thing as the mind consume the energy that is busy manifesting when accepting and allowing sadness to exists within and as me. Thus, When and as I see myself accessing Melancholic depression, I stop, I breathe, I'm HERE. I remind myself that what I've accepted and allowed within and as myself is just Energy and that WHO I AM is not Energy. Therefor, I stand up, Shake the Energy off of me, Letting it go and aligning myself with and as my human physical body, in one Breath.

 

I Commit myself to NEVER AGAIN justify and reasoning why it is OK for me to take a moment and break down, why it is OK for me to access Melancholia and Why it is fine to feel those Negative Emotions inside of me. I see, realize and understand that I am always the ONE who Decide and it would be only me who Decide to either accept and allow Melancholia or stand up, Breath and let the Energy go within seeing that accepting and allowing the energy possession to control me and my entire human body is in no way supporting myself nor my body.

 

I Commit myself to Never again abuse and sabotage myself to satisfied my Preprogramed desires as I now see, realize and understand that placing Value in these Desires is Directly and Indirectly stating that I have No respect for myself and when I don't have respect for myself, I do not have respect for LIFE.

 

I Commit myself to Show how Melancholia is a Mind Controlled State where a being is abdicating one's responsibility towards oneself and one's world and that within that, one ALWAYS have the power to Decide what one will accept and allow and what one won't.

 

I Commit myself to SHOW the relationship between Melancholia after a break up and the Media as Magazines, Fairy Tale movies, Books and Story and how through the Media, humanity had become control to their own Minds to the extent of abusing themselves and their human physical body within the Belief that it is human Nature to experience Melancholia after a break up because that is what promoted in the Media.

Melancholia after a Break Up - Day 173

This is a continuation to:

Part 1 - My First Love.

Part 2 - What is Love to me?

What is Spiritual Love to me? - Part 3 - Day 158

No Sex - No Relationship - Day 167

Men only think about Sex? - Day 168

Values System Within my Mind – Day 169

The Love Experience - Day 170

Wanting to be Saved by Prince Charming - Day 171

Why Females attracted to Males that are unavailable for a relationship - Day 172

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to break down after a break up from my partner for an extensive period of time where all I could think about was what have I done wrong and how was it possible that we broke up because everything was so perfect and in that, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to spend hours in my mind, going back and forth throughout all the memories that I had with him, in the attempt to figure out how can I correct it and make him to change his mind.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to access Melancholic experience after the break up to the extent of not going out of bed for almost 4 days and in that, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself during the time in bed, to think again and again and again, in my mind, about our last moment together of him leaving the house and not looking back while I'm lying on the floor as if the end of the world had arrived and in this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself through rapidity going over this moment in my mind, to perpetuate my emotions and re-live the experience, not seeing, realizing and understanding that despite of what had happened, I'm still here, I remain and to continue participating in the mind is not practical assistance and support that I'm able to gift to myself, to come down to this physical reality, take a breath and simply be here - continue walking, breath by breath, step by step.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to feel like my entire human physical body is tearing apart after the break up, as if someone took my stomach and turn is back and forth, up and down and pushing it in and out. In this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to instead of questioning and investigating the nature of my experience and why and how I'm deliberately creating this experience, I've accepted and allowed the experience as if it was me, as if it was real and in that justify why I'm allowed to be in agony because after all - I was just been dump by the love of my life.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for having the experience of melancholia for so long because others had told me that: "Yes, it takes time but not that much time, Maya, it's time to stop this" and within that, instead of assisting and supporting myself to step out of the experience that I've created within and as my mind and believed so much that it was all real, I've closed myself at home, allowing sadness to take total control over me and slowly but surely let my friendship relationships slip away because my friends couldn't support my existence in melancholia which I so deeply had decided to remain within and as.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to deliberately hang out with guys that if my Ex would have seen me with, he would have become Jealous and so, I made sure to spend time with celebs within the hope that I would be captured in the newspaper with them. In this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to hang out with guys from the starting point of making my Ex jealous, and in no way had any respect to myself nor my body within my mission to do what ever it takes to win my man back.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to plan each and every move that I've made within the starting point of whether or not it will take me one step further to get back with my partner and so, for example when I had birthday, I made sure to invite as many people as possible, and as many attractive guys as possible so that when my ex will surprise me and come to my party, he would see me with these attractive guys and become jealous, realize he had made a mistake and come back to me. Within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to - when realizing he will not come to the party and see the scene that I've prepared to such great details for him, to drink my sorrow up with Alcohol and spend the night with a guy that had no respect for me, just that I won't be alone, facing my agony and misery that I've created within and as myself.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to - when going out with friends, to go out to places with the highest chances that if my ex would be in town, it would be the place I would party in so that we could meet each other again and as he would see me, he would immediately realize that he had done a mistake by breaking up with me. In this, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to actually enjoy myself, be here, with my friends when we went out to party as I was consistently, looking for my Ex, hoping faith will bring us back together and when the moment didn't arrive, to drink myself up, so that I could feel unlimited to spend the night with another guy so that for a moment, I could feel desired and yearned for, only that, I never did - the melancholia was always there - with or without Alcohol and sex.

 

To be Continued...

I Think - Therefore I am Intelligent - Day 92

This is a continuation to:

I Think Therefore I am - Day 90

I Think, therefore I fucked this Existence - Day 91

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to THINK that because I'm capable to THINK, I'm intelligent and I haven't considered that all the other LIFE forms that apparently cannot think are the ones who gives me the possibility to exists. Within that, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that the only reason I exists is because of all the LIFE sources that gives me the air that I require to breathe because otherwise, I die; gives me the food I require to eat because otherwise, I die; and yet, I have taken for granted those LIFE sources, abused and harmed it because I haven't consider my dependency relationship with it which that in itself, question my intelligent.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to define my intelligent through my ability to think and I haven't considered that in essence, I have no idea how the life forms that allows me to have the Life that I have works and functions in absolute perfection despite of the fact that their ability to exists within their perfected expression doesn't involved with a thinking process.

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that all the LIFE forms that are not capable of thinking, created themselves in absolute perfection as nature for example and that perfection is the LIFE source that allows me to Exists within and as this physical reality.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to NOT see, realize and understand that while I'm elevate myself within and as my EGO as my own definition of my intelligent for my apparent capability to think and process information, to disregard, harm and abuse all life forms that I perceive as less than who I am because it cannot think without realizing that the very LIFE sources who doesn't think, gives me the ability to think and exits because without it, my life will cease to exits.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to THINK that THINKING gives me power as I can process information but I haven't realized that I have no idea who Thinking really works and functions and with my greatest intelligent, I still have no clue how to work with simple stuff like animals, nature and earth as I've disregarded those life forms to maintain my own existence that I think I am.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to define intelligent within and as the ability to think, not seeing, realizing and understanding that my intelligent is in direct relationship to what I was taught from a very young age by my parents, environment, school etc. and have nothing to do with any REAL life skills that one is require to sustain a LIFE that is best for all LIFE forms in existence.

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to make sure that everyone on earth will have equal opportunity to educate themselves as I was busy elevate my own intelligent, my own self interest, my own self empowerment because I believed that if I give someone else opportunity as I have given, they will be just another being that I need to compete with and thus, I rather they die and won't ever have access to LIFE.

More with regards to intelligence by Sunette Spies:

“Intelligence – ‘Intel – Lie – Genes’

INTEL – as the knowledge and information of the mind consciousness system

LIE – the illusion of knowledge and information in relation to actual physical reality

GENES – the integration of the mind consciousness system as energy as knowledge and information into the human physical body that human beings function through and believe to be real, when in fact actually separated from physical living and existing as a system.

Intelligence is a programme of consciousness/the mind – that consist of and exist as the/a entire body of knowledge and information definitions about ourselves/ ‘who we are’ and our relationships towards ourselves, others and this world as a whole that in fact separate us from ourselves, each other and this world/physical existence. Because we’ve created relationships towards ourselves, others and this world through definitions/programmes within our Mind, and not in fact lived and actual real physical equality and oneness with ourselves, each other and this world. Intelligence is the programme/manifestation that actually separate us from establishing real/eternal relationships of physical equality and oneness.

The programme of intelligence manifests within consciousness/the mind and integrates/extends into our human physical bodies, so that what has happened is that we interact/participate through the physical in physical reality within this programme, INTERPRETING reality / relationships based on our own frames of reference in our minds as the knowledge and information we were TAUGHT that was imprinted / inserted / downloaded into us from those that has gone before us. We in no way stand by ‘who we are’ and actually live and relate to others, ourselves and this world within realising that ourselves, others and this world is in fact ourselves, our own creation. In this, each individual has their own “intelligence database” within consciousness/the mind based on individual self-interest, connected to our EGO’s and so intelligence only serves the Ego of Mind, and in no way contribute to the actual establishing/creating/manifestation of equality and oneness as a world/reality that is best for all, as all are too preoccupied with competing through Ego’s with Intelligence.

With Desteni, we’re in the process of transforming the knowledge and information of intelligence into practical living principles, and changing the starting point of self-interest/EGO to standing as an individual living as/for a principle that is best for all, and thus – transforming knowledge and information as consciousness/system into LIVING WORDS that will create/manifest a world that is in fact best for all.”

http://spiritualityexposed.wordpress.com/2012/04/09/2012-kabbalah-human-intelligence/>

Within my next blog, I will be walking the Self Commitments Statements.

The Decision - Am I the creator? - Day 26

Artist - Scott Cook

I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to make a decision of WHO I AM and thus, allowed myself to trust my mind who tells me Who I am according to my limited grasp of LIFE and I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to have failed to see that unless I make a decision of WHO I AM and live the decision within every moment of every breath, I’m giving up on myself, I’m giving up on Life that include everything and everyone and within that making a statement that I’m useless and worthless and I might as well die.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to have failed to realize what LIFE is. I see and realize that LIFE is interdependent relationships that form a support structure by always moving and directing within the principle of that which is best for all. The entirety of all the PARTS that forms LIFE must establish an agreement with themselves and each other to always move according to that which is best for all.  So – I start with myself;  I’m here making a commitment, a decision, to establish an agreement with all my parts, as myself to always move and direct myself and this world according to that which is best for all.

I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to see and realize the decision to be and become LIFE that is equal to and one with all the parts of me within all the relationships that forms LIFE is a moment to moment decision and physical application; it is the accumulation of moments as breaths and thus I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself in moment of falling into my mind where I’ve missed a breath to judge myself as unworthy instead of immediate bring myself back here, to my physical human body, correct and change myself and stand by my commitment to support and embrace myself, and come to terms with myself as the mind that I’ve become and yet, not accept the continuation of the limitations and abuse and simply BREATHE and move myself back to myself within the responsibility that I hold as the creator of LIFE.  

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to have failed to realize that be and becoming LIFE is through making the decision of WHO I AM and even though I’m not standing Equal to and One as LIFE in this very moment, the very decision to become LIFE is my directive principle and everything that I will do from that starting point of become life will be determine by WHO I am.

I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to make the decision to be and become LIFE as WHO I am and direct myself according to this starting point within all that I do because I feared the implication of having to change in fact and thus, I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed through fear to compromise myself and all that is HERE as the interdependent relationships that forms LIFE because I’ve allowed the fear to be my directive principle and abdicated the responsibility to decide and practically walk as WHO I am in every moment.

I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to make the decision of WHO I am because I’ve valued and trusted myself as the mind despite of the realizations that following my mind have got me nowhere as well as humanity as a whole and thus, I’ve missed the obvious of walking according to principle of What is best for all is the common sense practical physical living application within the responsibility that we have as the creator of LIFE as ourselves.

I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize what LIFE is and WHO I Am as the creator of LIFE and I’ve taken for granted and lived the definition of MY limited version of  LIFE as a separated individual with purposes of survival

And So Who I am is to first realize that who I am is PART of all the interdependent relationships that forms LIFE and thus, I, as an individual part of ALL - is the creator of LIFE. Being the creator of LIFE comes with a responsibility – To get myself back to myself as the practical physical living application in every moment of what is best for all so that whatever I create, I create from self honesty best for all principle within the realization of Who I Am as the creator of LIFE that is HERE;

When we were born, we were born with nothing and yet, we were given LIFE. Through the years, we’ve separated ourselves from LIFE and stepped into our mind. Thus the key is to re-birth ourselves and from Nothingness, to create ourselves and this world according to that which is best for all.

Who I am? I'm in my process to understand and realize creation because I created myself, I responsible for that which i've created without understanding creation, I responsible for How the world manifested to its current design because i've understood myself, i haven't sorted out myself and I've allowed myself to stand up and take responsibility for that very creation of myself and this world.
 

 For more blogs

 

Who I am is NOT what I have been taught that I am – Day 22

http://mayaprocess.blogspot.com/2012/05/who-i-am-is-not-what-i-have-been-taught.html

Who I am is a Free Choice?  Day 23

http://mayaprocess.blogspot.com/2012/05/who-i-am-is-free-choice-day-23.html

Inversion of purpose – Day 24

http://mayaprocess.blogspot.com/2012/05/inversion-of-purpose-day-24.html

 

Failure of Relationships – Day 15

For additional context please visit my Blog - My relationship with Sex - Day 13+14

I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to see the time loop that I was existing within and as which always led me to the same inevitable point of the failure of the relationships with males and within that, I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to take the responsibility and investigate the patterns that kept playing out because I resisted facing the point of relationships and sex and within that, I’ve accepted and allowed myself to sabotage and abuse myself further through the deliberate acceptance of cycling the same pattern over and over again.

I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to see my responsibility within the failure of my relationships with males throughout my life but only assume that I know the reason why even though the physical consequences revealed to me that I had no clue. Within that, I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to follow my Ego through the assumption that I’m seeing the point and thus, accepted and allowed myself to compromise, sabotage and abuse myself by ignoring the real core/source point and repeating playing out the same pattern that always lead to the same consequences of the failure of my relationships with males.

I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that before attempting/trying to walk and agreement/relationship with another, I first have an agreement with myself where I commit to assist and support myself self honestly within my process of stepping out from my own mind and stepping in to the Physical Equality and Oneness reality.

I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to see that the failure of my agreement/relationships were inevitable because I have not yet establish an agreement with myself as well as haven’t yet aligned myself to myself; and thus, I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to go into agreement before having the basic foundation for myself because I believed that I require to be in agreement to effectively walk my process however, what I’ve missed was the separation as well as limitation within the belief that one can assist and support me in places that I’m not yet assisting and supporting myself. Within that, I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to believe that someone can assist and support me without me having to walk the physical correction, without realizing that I’m the only one who is responsible to change and correct myself within a dedicated process of self transformation to a being that is Physically Living in the physical reality.

I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to see the real reason for why I’ve sabotaged my first relationship with my first boyfriend wherein I ended the relationship just before we were about to have sex for the first time because I believed my upbringing which determine that I’m too young to have sex but because I didn’t want to face the shame of standing up to my parents’ upbringing, I decided to end the relationship and wait for the time where it be allowed.

I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to communicate with my partner about my fears and doubts with relation to having sex and instead, came up with excuses and justification of why we need to break up. Within that, I see and realize that when I’m not communicating points that I’m seeing within myself with my partner, I’m not giving myself the chance to face my fears and the patterns that I lived as thus far and I’m taking from myself the opportunity to change by ignoring and supressing the real issue that I’m dealing with.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to sabotage my relationship with my partner by remaining quiet and not expressing that which I’m experiencing because i wanted to keep my Ego intact as well as keep on suppressing and hiding to not face myself and actually change.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself fear being intimate with my first partner and because he was very expressive with how he felt about me and was very intimate in his expression when we were together, I made up excuses and justification for why we should break up so that I could hide and run away from being intimate with him as well as facing myself as self intimate.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to feel uncomfortable with how my partner expressed his feelings towards me because that was new expression to me and I never seen such open love and communication at home before.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to end the relationship with my first boyfriend because this was a new experience for me which I didn’t have the tools to handle and understand because I wasn’t prepared for such expressive and intimate relationship with another human being and within that, I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed a world system where the children are not being prepared for an agreement/relationship with another human beings and instead of directing and supporting them, we infused and impulse ideas as that do not support Life and also, I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to be and become an effective human being that may assist and support by example for the young generation because I’ve not taken the responsibility to face my past as equal and one as me, stand up from within it and change myself according to principle that are best for all lives.

I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to see the pattern of fearing being intimate with my partner because I’ve attached, define and connected intimacy to sex only and thus, when and as I sense that my partner is pushing for developing and establishing intimate communication with me, i experience resistance and ending up the relationship instead of facing and walking through the resistance that I’ve created within my mind so that I could for the first time LIVE in this physical reality instead of continuously existing in my mind.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to suppress the fear of intimacy that I’ve created in my childhood years and thus, only went for superficial relationship where I won’t have to push myself to become intimate with myself as well as with my partner.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to manipulate myself through the belief that I’m being intimate with my partner because we are having intimate sex however, I haven’t realized that being intimate with myself or another isn’t define through/by sex.

I commit myself to become intimate with myself and walk through the resistance of getting to know myself in my entirety. I commit myself to develop intimacy with myself and stand as example within agreement where we’ll be and become intimate with each other wherein intimacy isn’t defined by sex but as the actual expression of the word Intimacy – In to me I see.

I commit myself to change myself and stand as an example for the children to come, to support and direct them within having an effective agreement with themselves.

I commit myself to walk through every relationship that I have ever had to see the core/source point/pattern that led to the failure of the relationship so that I could sort myself out, establish intimacy with myself and allow myself to be vulnerable, self expressive and open within myself, to myself.