In the
previous blog, we looked at a potential consequences when we accept and allow
self-judgement to exists inside of ourselves. We discussed a potential
consequences of sabotaging/compromising and even ending your relationships with
others.
I ended
off with the statement:
"Will continue in my next blog with more
potential outcomes when accepting and allowing self-judgement to be hidden but
very much existed inside of ourselves. We will also look how to change this
type of behaviour/pattern to be able to practically develop long lasting
relationships of worth with others."
In this
blog, we'll have a look at second potential consequence when we accept and
allow our participation with self-judgement: Potential consequence #2: Living in an
experience of being controlled.
Have you
ever felt that you need to do things in secret or that you need to isolate
yourself from everything and everyone so that you can do things without anyone
knowing; have you ever felt that you need to diminish your expression around
specific people? Have you ever experienced yourself avoiding certain people
because you were concerned they will ask you a question you didn't want to
answer?
If any of
these questions were answered 'yes' than most likely that you are dealing with
self-judgement yet projected through the eyes of others. You tell yourself that
other people are to be blamed for why you need to live in secret, why you need
to isolate or hide yourself or why you need to diminish certain expressions
around them. As time goes by, you probably start feeling or experience yourself
as if you are being controlled in your own environment, feeling you need your
space, avoiding certain people and essentially, start blaming them for that,
telling yourself a story of how much they are controlling you or your life.
Obviously, this is not an absolute point but those of you who do accept and
allow self-judgement to be their directive principle know what I am talking
about. Don’t you?
What I
have found in my own process of introspection is that when it came to my
experience of feeling controlled by my family, friends or other people in my
environment, it had nothing to do with them and everything to do with me. For
example, I judged a specific expression as invalid to be expressed or believed
it was not allowed to be expressed or had fears I would be judged if I had
expressed it. So, I didn't allow myself to express myself within that specific
expression which gave me the experience of being controlled, not seeing it was
my own decision to diminish my expressions, not others.
The
consequences of not being honest with yourself and allow yourself to judge your
own expression and decisions is that this will create an experience of being
controlled by others and you will make it so real in your mind that you'll try
and go things in secrets, just not to face your own self-honesty. The
consequences of that is that you'll have a relationship with people that is not
based on integrity but rather on deception and we all know where that is going
to lead you and your relationships..
Will
continue in the next blog with more consequences when it comes to
self-judgement.
--
Artwork: Pamela Dzaet Hill, painter, USA
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