Delusion of Ego or Self Movement? Process Support - Day 242

"When we are in situations wherein we begin participating in patterns, such as self judgement, we must make the decision to stop - an actual self will to stop the thoughts as they come up - because in truth we know exactly where these thoughts will take us, we know exactly where they are going and it is only out of a perverse sense of curiosity that we continue allowing ourselves to be consumed by the thoughts. We are within these situations all that stand in our way, because we have the tendency to allow ourselves to sink into a state of self pity and helplessness, convincing ourselves that we are unable to stop these experiences.

 

Self forgiveness and writing assists one to see where and how these patterns exist within us, though we must also make the choice to no longer participate in the patterns - we must stop - self forgiveness is useless without practically walking corrections.

 

The thoughts will continue to come up, the patterns will continue to emerge - our application and honouring of our choice must stand firm throughout the layers of our patterns. If we make a mistake, we must be willing to forgive ourselves, learn from it and continue walking our chosen path - beating ourselves up is counter productive. Consistency is key - practice, practice, practice." Cerise Poolman

 

Cerise wrote this statement on the Desteni Forum as a reply in the thread - Re: Why am I worried about my appearance SO much? which is why I have decided to write this blog as this is the KEY point each of us must realized and understand because otherwise, no REAL and constant change within and as ourselves and this world.

 

This morning, I woke up after 4 hours of sleep and the last thing I wanted to do was working in the garden. I preferred going back to sleep because I 'felt' really tired. I also had a white bunny in my pocket that I could use to excuse myself from working today - on Wednesdays, I'm not supposed to work in the Garden because my Schedule is tight up and it was decide to I support myself by not taking the extra responsibility such as working in the garden for 2 hours. However, I've seen within and as myself that specifically today, I was able to work because unlike every other Wednesday, today isn't so hectic. So I was sitting on the veranda, drinking my Coffee and felt so tired and I was about to remind everyone that today I'm not working on the garden. As I was sitting and drinking my coffee, I decided that I'm not accepting and allowing myself to excuse myself when it is not necessary but the feeling of the body being so tired was overwhelming. I then started to calculate: maybe I won't work today and I will work on Saturday for an extra 2 hours? Maybe if I won't say to anyone that my schedule isn't that hectic today, they won't expect me to work on Saturday for extra 2 hours. And as I participated in my back chat, the Atlanteans interview came up in my mind where it was suggested to when waking up, to simply align ourselves with the body and say: "Body, Let's wake up and start a new day".

So I did, I told my body, Let's do this, let's wake up, snap out of the Experience. And Guess what- I immediately woke up, went to work and started my day.

 

Now, there were many other times where I've applied this point within and as myself, but nothing changed, because what I haven't realized before was that unless I, in absolute self honesty decide to change, I won't change and the only 'change' would be me feeding more energy into and as my mind with Excuses, Justification which are nothing but a distraction to in fact change.

 

Thus the point being - One must make the absolute decision within and as oneself, in self honesty. I'm not saying it would be easy, I'm saying it is possible as I've proven that to myself many times before. One would see, that in this moments of change, Resistance exists within and as us, it is almost like a constant friction and conflict where we would bounce between thoughts, justify ourselves, and contradict our justification, find another excuse, and contradict it and we will loop this points until we would find the excuse/justification that would set us up to give in within and as ourselves and make the decision to not change.

 

So, with the Waking up point that I shared above, if one would apply it for oneself, one would find that it is quite an easy point to take on because in essence, we have nothing to lose but one or two more hours of sleep. However, the challenges is to Stop, stand as the Directive Principle in moments where our entire self definition is at stake, where our Ego is so extensive that we feel that if we would to let it go, a part of us would be lost, diminished, gone because we haven't realized that this part of us that is now about to get lost, is not who we really are, it is a pre-program design that we have imprinted and stored within and as ourselves which upon that design, created multiple personalities as our self definition that we believed to be ourselves.

 

Thus, one must develop a real and absolute self movement, self directiveness and self will because otherwise, we would keep on looping on and on with no actual change. We would then judge ourselves for not making much progress in our processes and go into self defeat mode which would be harder to step out of. Obviously, judging ourselves for not making any substantial progress is also a distraction from getting to the core/source/origin point and absolutely apply and correct ourselves, in self honesty, self will and self Power.

 

So - Let's do it because really, we don't have anything to lose but to win the greatest gift of all - Life that is REAL, trustworthy and respectful.

 

 

 

The Decision of TIME - Day 67

This is a continuation to:

The Elite's delusion of stress - Part 1 - Day 45

The Elite's Delusion of Stress - Part 2 - Day 46

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself  to see in self honesty that my decision of walking in every moment of every breath according to principle of that which is best for all, wasn't absolutely clear, because if it was, I wouldn't have spend time in Backchat, internal conversations and thoughts within and as me.

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see how deceptive the statement of " I don't have time" is because if I play with the variables and add Money to the equation as a reward for my good work, I would simply walk all my tasks until they are done and perhaps I even would have take more tasks on myself, to increase the rewards (Money) and I would still won't make the statement "I don't have time to do everything".

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself in self honesty, to see, realize and understand that when I allow myself to participate in the statements: "OMG, I don't have time, I will not make it, I don't have time for myself", I'm actually wasting my time in thoughts, emotions and feelings instead of standing up, delete the experience of stress, self victimization and simply direct myself as effectively as possible, breath by breath.

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that if my decision to walk in every breath according to that which is best for all was clear, I wouldn't have accepted and allowed myself to be stressed and nervous about not having enough time during the day because clearly, I did have time to participate in backchat. What I'm showing here to myself is that when and as I allow the thought "I don't have time,  omg" to come up from within me - what I know is that I wasn't breathing, I wasn't clear in my starting point and that I must take a step back, realign myself back to myself and my decision and to accordingly walk my day to day responsibilities, breath by breath until it's done.

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself  to consider that when I experience my day to day tasks as a burden within and as myself, I'm not in fact here within and as my human physical body but rather somewhere in my mind, missing a breath. And within that, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to red flag the experience of burden within and as myself in relation to my day to day tasks because the very fact that I gave permission to the experience should worry me as it is indicating that my initial decision of walking those tasks was not done from the starting point of what is best for all but as a point of self interest to be able to reward myself with Energy that I would get from others, who would validate and approve me according to what I do.

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that if I compare the amount of my daily tasks with the tasks that others have, I'm not in fact standing clear within my decisions of walking my daily tasks because if I would have a clear starting point, what others do or not, wouldn't influence me in anyway whatsoever and I would focus on my breath by breath living application and walk my daily task in the utmost effective way possible regardless of the others.

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that some of my tasks might be lagged as there is so much that one can do within each and every breathe and thus, instead of judging myself for not having it all done, I direct myself to assess in self honesty whether I was effective throughout the day and if not, I investigate where, when and how I wasn't absolutely directing myself effectively  to be able to correct my living application and change that which required to be changed;

I commit myself to realign my starting point within everything that I do according to that which is best for all. When and as I see energy movement as frustration, stress, burden, anxiety, comparison and judgement, I stop, I bring myself back to this physical reality, I ground the energy back to earth and I direct myself to apply myself, as the expression of who I am, breath by breath.

I see, realize and understand that my starting point thus far wasn't clear as I've accepted and allowed back chat to exists within and as me. I take responsibility to investigate and introspect in self honesty and through a process of self forgiveness, to then thus, stop indulging into self interest desire for a reward and instead, to move and direct myself as who I am, as life that is best for all, in every moment of every breath.

I commit myself to stop the back chats that I've automated in separation of me, as I see the consequences of allowing backchat for myself and this world. Every moment that I spend in my mind, is another moment that I could have done something that actually has value in this world, it is another moment that someone is dying from starvation and it is another moment that I've separated myself from myself and this existence as a whole.

I commit myself to assess my days every night before I go to sleep and to check in self honesty the level of effectiveness that I've walked throughout the day and accordingly take responsibility, correct and change.

Blinded by Love - Day 47

This is a continuation of my previous blog: How to Choose a Partner – Day 21

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to seek for the experience of LOVE where my entire human physical body feels light, when everything seems to be alright and having a smile on my face without any particular reason and I haven't seen that those experience/moments are a imprints that I've downloaded into myself through watching Romantic movies and that those moments/experiences are momentary and as such, cannot be a real physical expression because if it was real, it would have been me who direct the smile, the light feeling body and it wasn't an energetic experience that was based on external forces magically just happened.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to prompt my children with Love stories and Movies and I haven't realized the implication of my doing - programming to become an individual self interests beings that move and direct oneself according to the child desires to fulfil one purpose of surviving instead of educating my child with a practical commons sense of what does it means to practically LOVE within the principle of Love thy neighbor as thyself wherein the physical living application of Love can be measured within the establishment world that is best for all LIVES.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to have refused to see that LOVE is a delusional mind fuck that one is participating with because when one experience LOVE, one is closed down to one's own mind where for a moment, everything seems to be OK and fine regardless of this world not being OK and fine and thus, we spend our lives, seeking for the experience of LOVE in self interest, for a moment of bliss and while doing that, separating ourselves form the real LIFE that is here, a LIFE that is not worth living for the majority of this world and instead of walking the living expression of LOVE in making sure that all could have a dignified LIFE, we have been preoccupying ourselves with the energetic feeling of Love that is in no way a living application of LOVE that is best for all

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to be blind by LOVE and thus, missed and ignored the obvious points that require corrections within the relationships/agreements that I've walked and within that, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to make the decision of walking an agreement/relationship with a partner based on feelings and emotions while disregarding the functionality of walking an agreement with another in terms of our processes, sexual alignment , our financial stability and thus, take all the variables and make an informative decision that is based on practicality instead of emotions/feelings so that we could walk together, in alignment in this ONE life.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to - when being in a relationship/agreement, to fall into the trap of LOVE as an energetic experience and thus, seclude myself from the LIFE that is here, right in front of me; LIFE that required direction and major change so that all could have a LIFE that is worth LIVING and I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see the deception in LOVE as a design to make people stuck in their own bubble of self interest while disregarding LIFE and the change that is required to be walked in terms of the LIVING application of LOVE that is best for all.

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see how one is attempting to control the experience of LOVE through compromising and limiting oneself and this world through blinding and closing one's eyes so that the experience of LOVE could remain for just one more moment regardless the huge RED FLAGS that are lighting all over, screaming for correction and change in oneself, in the relationship/agreement and in this world.

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to learn form my past mistakes and correct my application with regards to choosing a partner and thus, time after time after time, I find myself looping the same points and becoming angry at myself for falling into the same trap because I gave value to the LOVE experience and I didn't allow myself to let it go even though I've already seen that the experience isn't real and can only last for so long before it disappear and one remain with a fucked up reality, remain with picking up the pieces and stand up again, only to return to the same point that one faced in the beginning with no actual and real self change.

I commit myself to expose and show that the current Media is prompting Love from the starting point of keeping the individuals secluded in their mind so that they won't be able to even consider walking the physical application of 'love thy neighbor as thyself' and stand up for LIFE that is best for all because they are too occupied in their self interest little bubble of their mind while those who control the media can keep making profit on the backs of their brainwashed consumers.

I commit myself to show and reveal what does it mean to actually LOVE as an application of the principle of what is best for all rather than how love is currently walked as an individual pursuit of happiness in total separation from oneself and one's world.

I commit myself to stop making decisions based on emotions and feelings such as LOVE and instead, make informative decisions that are based on practical common sense and consideration of myself, others and essentially everything and everyone.

I'm letting go of the desire to experience LOVE as an energetic momentary experience because I realized that the design of LOVE as we walk today is a delusional mind fuck that keeps us preoccupied in our mind, in a zombified state of selfish beings that consider only of themselves and disregards the entirety of this world.

Please watch my Vlog - 2012 - LOVE Month -Is Love and Light the Solution?