The Beginning and the End of Suppressing one's Natural Expression - Day 455

A fascinating point opened up today, interestingly enough, when I brushed my teeth. A memory came up, from when I was 5 years old, in preschool, where the a 'professional' consultant came to the preschool to teach us how to effectively brush our teeth. The specific moment that came up was how I was told to go sit in the 'punishment carpet' because I said and/or did something that was inappropriate.

 

So as I was brushing my teeth today, I brought this entire moment 'here' so that I could look at it in more details. For instance, I was questioning the point of the decision to  place me in the 'punishment carpet' and this didn't make sense to me because I was always this 'good girl' that never do anything inappropriate and so, I was investigating within myself the source of what I've said and/or did that had led the head teacher to decide to place me in the 'punishment carpet' in the first place.

 

I slowed myself down and walked the memory again, and the details of the memory started to unfold - we were all sitting in a circle and I stood up for a moment, expressing myself in a genuine way, enjoying myself, free of any limitation whatsoever, not harming anyone and for this, I was placed on the 'punishment carpet'.

Then I realized: "Shame, this is where I started suppressing my natural expression because in my mind, natural and genuine expression = consequence of being punished.

 

I told Sunette about the memory and what I have realized about the memory and she asked me - isn't it also the same nature of the other  memory where your grandmother said that you are showing off when you were dancing in the house?

For context, I was telling Sunette the other day about this memory where I was dancing in the house and my grandmother told me that I'm showing off and ever since this moment, I never again danced around other people in the house. Fascinating enough, it was at the same time frame of when I was placed on the 'Punishment carpet' for naturally expressing myself.

 

So I had a look at these 2 memories and what I had found is that because of these 2 incidents, I started my process of suppressing my natural expression both internally and externally wherein the preschool represent the external world and the house represent the internal world.

 

So here is an opportunity for myself to trace back my natural expression - going from the source/starting point of where I made the decision to suppress myself and from there, recreate my natural expression for and as myself.

 

And for those of us Parents/Grandparents/Educators - we must realize that our words and deeds influence our children's life far more than we would like to admit. It is imperative that we become aware of our behaviors around the children, our words, our expression, our body language. It is crucial that we explore and identify these points for ourselves so that we won't unnecessarily force our children to suppress their natural ability to express, to learn, to be.

For more information with regards to where to start investigating yourself for/as yourself - visit the DIP Lite FREE Online course.

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Art work - Kelly B Rightsell