Missing out on the Good Life - Day 194

This is a continuation to:

The Elite's delusion of stress - Part 1 - Day 45

The Elite's Delusion of Stress - Part 2 - Day 46

The Decision of TIME - Day 67

And:

Copy Paste Character - the Way for Success? - Day 183

Copy Paste Character - The Education System - Day 184

Is it possible to Cheat yourself? Day 185

It is time to STOP Existing as a Human Machine - Day 186

The End of Times - Day 187

Facing the Evil within - the KEY to LIFE - Day 188

Fear of Disappointing others - Day 189

The Psychology of TIME - Day 190

I Regret, therefor, I'm a Good Person. NOT!!! - Day 191

The REAL Fear - Day 192

The things we Won't tell ANYONE - Day 193

 

For the purpose of context, suggest reading these posts above prior to reading the post below, if you haven’t already. Here I will be walking the 'I don't have TIME' Character - Fear Dimension - Practical support with Self Forgiveness and Self Commitments.

 

The List below consists of the Fears which are the foundation of the 'I don't have Time' Character.

 

Fear Dimension:

• Fear that I'll disappoint other people if I won't take more tasks on myself

• Fear that I would be defined as unworthy because I'm not using my time to it's utmost potential.

• Fear that I won't get things done and would regret it when consequences would emerged so basically, fear of the consequences.
• Fear that I would be seen as not good enough, replaceable, inadequate
• Fear of being exposed as self dishonest because I know, that if I put my self interest desires aside, I'm able to walk my tasks in absolute perfection.

• Fear of Missing out the Positive experience as Entertainment

 

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* Fear of Missing out the Positive experience as Entertainment

 

Self forgiveness:

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to FEAR missing out on a Positive experience when I'm busy working on a task/work/assignment because I believed that when I'm busy while others having a positive experience as entertainment and I'm not joining them, than eventually, they would stop inviting me to join them and I'll slowly but surely be cast away from all my relationships with other human beings. In that, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see the nature of 'Fear of missing out' within that context wherein, what I fear missing out is my own self interest desire for an experience because I haven't yet realized who I am as breath in any given moment where - who I am is not define by either positive or negative experiences but rather - who I am within and as these experience.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to fear losing my own self interest desires as I've valued these desires and defined myself according to my desires and accordingly, have separated myself from the physical experiences I'm participating with, breath by breath, when I've accepted and allowed myself to attach and assign specific values according to how I would benefit in walking these experiences within my own self interest. Within that, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to define experiences as positive or negative in separation from myself wherein the Energy that I would gain from participating within these experiences would be my directing principle when making the decisions of what I would participate and what I  would not. In that, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand how Decisions are made based on one's value that one is giving to the energetic experiences either as positive or Negative with no actual and physical consideration within and as the principle of that which is best for all as well as who one is within and as these experiences.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to compromise and sabotage myself and therefor others when and as I accept and allow myself to act upon the fear of missing out where I would abdicate my responsibilities and go for a positive experience such as entertainment and within that, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to rush through my tasks/work/assignment and brush it off within the idea that I don't have time however, when it comes to entertainment, I have enough time.

 

Self Commitments:

 

I commit myself to STOP my own self interest desires that are the stumble stones to an actual self change as I see, realize and understand that unless I stand up, in every moment of every breath, in absolute self honesty, in directing and moving myself ONLY according to what id best for all LIVES, as within as without - no change is possible. In that, I commit myself to SHOW that unless we stand up and transform our self interest to Best for all interest - we would not be able to change ourselves and this world as a whole because this world is a direct reflection of what the consequences within our collective acceptance and allowance of acting out on our self interest desires for Experiences within the definitions that we have assigned to these experiences and with no consideration, whatsoever to Humanity as a whole - Equal and One.

 

I commit myself to assist and support myself with identifying everything that I have assigned positive or negative value to, to then thus, investigate the nature of the definition, Who I am within it, is it standing within and as the principle of that which is best for all or is to protect my self interest desires - as I see, realize and understand that continue walking and directing myself according to experiences that hold a specific value as positive or negative energetic charge, is to walk and direct myself according to preprogram life design with no actual and physical, Hereness of really directly seeing who I am in every given moment and what alignments are required to be done to stand in absolute self honesty, hereness, breath by breath.

 

I commit myself to continue assisting and supporting myself in walking through the layers of the mind within and as the 'I don't have time' character and in that, to STOP sabotaging and compromising myself and therefor all, through abdicating my responsibility of acting, moving, directing MYSELF, breath by breath and to practically change myself to stand in alignment with ONE principle of Physical Equality that is best for all as I see, realize and understand my responsibility in changing myself and its effect on this world as a whole.

Melancholia after Break Up Continued - Day 174

This is a continuation to:

Part 1 - My First Love.

Part 2 - What is Love to me?

What is Spiritual Love to me? - Part 3 - Day 158

No Sex - No Relationship - Day 167

Men only think about Sex? - Day 168

Values System Within my Mind – Day 169

The Love Experience - Day 170

Wanting to be Saved by Prince Charming - Day 171

Why Females attracted to Males that are unavailable for a relationship - Day 172

Melancholia after a Break Up - Day 173

 

I Commit myself to Remind myself that going on and on in my mind, looping around memories, trying to figuring out what I've done wrong and how I can correct myself is impractical and thus, when and as I see myself accessing my mind, perpetuating the Sadness that I've accepted and allowed within and as myself to immediately STOP, BEATHE and Literally bring myself back here, to and as my human physical body and utilize the 4 Count breath if necessary till the Energy dissipate and I'm clear and stable within and as myself. Within this, I commit myself to assist and support myself in seeing the nature of the Melancholia, My Starting point and the Hidden Desire that activated the point through writing, SF and Practical Corrective Actions.

 

I Commit myself to Remind myself that accessing Melancholic mode and within that, accepting and allowing Melancholia to become my entire existence is unacceptable as I see, realize and understand that through allowing myself to become Melancholic, I accept and allow myself to give up on myself through separating myself to such an extent of believing myself to be so Sad and that this sadness is real, not seeing, realizing and understanding that for my mind, this Sadness is a good thing as the mind consume the energy that is busy manifesting when accepting and allowing sadness to exists within and as me. Thus, When and as I see myself accessing Melancholic depression, I stop, I breathe, I'm HERE. I remind myself that what I've accepted and allowed within and as myself is just Energy and that WHO I AM is not Energy. Therefor, I stand up, Shake the Energy off of me, Letting it go and aligning myself with and as my human physical body, in one Breath.

 

I Commit myself to NEVER AGAIN justify and reasoning why it is OK for me to take a moment and break down, why it is OK for me to access Melancholia and Why it is fine to feel those Negative Emotions inside of me. I see, realize and understand that I am always the ONE who Decide and it would be only me who Decide to either accept and allow Melancholia or stand up, Breath and let the Energy go within seeing that accepting and allowing the energy possession to control me and my entire human body is in no way supporting myself nor my body.

 

I Commit myself to Never again abuse and sabotage myself to satisfied my Preprogramed desires as I now see, realize and understand that placing Value in these Desires is Directly and Indirectly stating that I have No respect for myself and when I don't have respect for myself, I do not have respect for LIFE.

 

I Commit myself to Show how Melancholia is a Mind Controlled State where a being is abdicating one's responsibility towards oneself and one's world and that within that, one ALWAYS have the power to Decide what one will accept and allow and what one won't.

 

I Commit myself to SHOW the relationship between Melancholia after a break up and the Media as Magazines, Fairy Tale movies, Books and Story and how through the Media, humanity had become control to their own Minds to the extent of abusing themselves and their human physical body within the Belief that it is human Nature to experience Melancholia after a break up because that is what promoted in the Media.

Melancholia after a Break Up - Day 173

This is a continuation to:

Part 1 - My First Love.

Part 2 - What is Love to me?

What is Spiritual Love to me? - Part 3 - Day 158

No Sex - No Relationship - Day 167

Men only think about Sex? - Day 168

Values System Within my Mind – Day 169

The Love Experience - Day 170

Wanting to be Saved by Prince Charming - Day 171

Why Females attracted to Males that are unavailable for a relationship - Day 172

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to break down after a break up from my partner for an extensive period of time where all I could think about was what have I done wrong and how was it possible that we broke up because everything was so perfect and in that, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to spend hours in my mind, going back and forth throughout all the memories that I had with him, in the attempt to figure out how can I correct it and make him to change his mind.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to access Melancholic experience after the break up to the extent of not going out of bed for almost 4 days and in that, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself during the time in bed, to think again and again and again, in my mind, about our last moment together of him leaving the house and not looking back while I'm lying on the floor as if the end of the world had arrived and in this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself through rapidity going over this moment in my mind, to perpetuate my emotions and re-live the experience, not seeing, realizing and understanding that despite of what had happened, I'm still here, I remain and to continue participating in the mind is not practical assistance and support that I'm able to gift to myself, to come down to this physical reality, take a breath and simply be here - continue walking, breath by breath, step by step.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to feel like my entire human physical body is tearing apart after the break up, as if someone took my stomach and turn is back and forth, up and down and pushing it in and out. In this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to instead of questioning and investigating the nature of my experience and why and how I'm deliberately creating this experience, I've accepted and allowed the experience as if it was me, as if it was real and in that justify why I'm allowed to be in agony because after all - I was just been dump by the love of my life.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for having the experience of melancholia for so long because others had told me that: "Yes, it takes time but not that much time, Maya, it's time to stop this" and within that, instead of assisting and supporting myself to step out of the experience that I've created within and as my mind and believed so much that it was all real, I've closed myself at home, allowing sadness to take total control over me and slowly but surely let my friendship relationships slip away because my friends couldn't support my existence in melancholia which I so deeply had decided to remain within and as.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to deliberately hang out with guys that if my Ex would have seen me with, he would have become Jealous and so, I made sure to spend time with celebs within the hope that I would be captured in the newspaper with them. In this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to hang out with guys from the starting point of making my Ex jealous, and in no way had any respect to myself nor my body within my mission to do what ever it takes to win my man back.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to plan each and every move that I've made within the starting point of whether or not it will take me one step further to get back with my partner and so, for example when I had birthday, I made sure to invite as many people as possible, and as many attractive guys as possible so that when my ex will surprise me and come to my party, he would see me with these attractive guys and become jealous, realize he had made a mistake and come back to me. Within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to - when realizing he will not come to the party and see the scene that I've prepared to such great details for him, to drink my sorrow up with Alcohol and spend the night with a guy that had no respect for me, just that I won't be alone, facing my agony and misery that I've created within and as myself.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to - when going out with friends, to go out to places with the highest chances that if my ex would be in town, it would be the place I would party in so that we could meet each other again and as he would see me, he would immediately realize that he had done a mistake by breaking up with me. In this, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to actually enjoy myself, be here, with my friends when we went out to party as I was consistently, looking for my Ex, hoping faith will bring us back together and when the moment didn't arrive, to drink myself up, so that I could feel unlimited to spend the night with another guy so that for a moment, I could feel desired and yearned for, only that, I never did - the melancholia was always there - with or without Alcohol and sex.

 

To be Continued...

Take a Chance or Miss out - Day 18

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that by being occupied in my mind, within the fantasy domain, I’ve been missing a chance to actually live in this physical reality.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to create an idea in my mind that I’ve missed a chance because I was too late of walking towards a specific point, without realizing that it is a self manipulation tactic to keeps me occupied in my mind within the thoughts in the nature of wondering as a future projection, and in that, I am literally missing a chance to Live and exists within the physical reality as LIFE.

I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that the thought of “I regret because I’ve missed a chance to…” is a red flag to turn the point back to myself and see the REAL point that I’ve missed which is ME, as a living expression of Life as the Physical due to being occupied in my mind within thoughts, feelings and emotions.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to manipulate myself within the belief that I’ve missed a chance and within that, accessing emotions of regret, sorrow and frustration, instead of seeing and realizing what is it that I’ve really missed in that moment, which is the opportunity to Remain Here, within and as the physical reality and actually LIVE a physical life.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to suck in sorrow and regret for all the chances that I’ve missed through being so occupied in my mind  throughout my life and yet, missing the obvious – the physical reality and in that, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and understand that by the very fact that I participated in sorrow and regret, I’ve missed a chance to LIVE as ME as LIFE, in the Physical Reality that is OBVIOUS here and yet, has been missed.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to act on the feeling of missing a chance without any self respect because I was willing to mutate and diminish myself to fulfil my desire that was occupying the feeling of missing a chance.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to believe that if I won’t act out on a feeling of missing out a chance, I will live a life or regret and wonder what could have happened if I would have taken the chance and within that, I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to see how I’ve manipulated myself in order to keep myself enslaved and control to my mind, in the fantasy/illusion domain so that I won’t have to face that which I’ve accepted and allowed myself to be and become in separation of me and to take the responsibility to correct and change myself within the principle of Oneness and Equality as the physical reality.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to miss the Obvious – this physical reality as the Key of Oneness and Equality through believing that I’ve missed a chance to walk a specific point from the starting point of a desire and yet, what I’ve actually missed was Myself within and as the physical reality.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to remain in mental pain, sorrow, sadness and depression when and as a memory of my past comes up and instead of letting the memory go from the realization that I kept and saved the memory within me to remain enslaved and control to my mind, I allow myself to follow the memory and think – “I could have done things differently, if only I would have done things differently, I can believe I missed that chance”.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to hold on to a memory of when I believed I had a chance to fulfil my desires and yet I didn’t act on it and thus, when I access that memory I feel sorrow, regret and sadness and I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to let go of this memory so that I can remain self victimized and never see the OBVIOUS – that as long as I accept and allow myself to hold on to that memory of missing out a chance to fulfil my desires, I’m actually missing the chance to get back to myself as the living expression of LIFE.

I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to see the pattern of missing out a chance as a time-loop/cycle that I’ve participated with throughout my life which within that, I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to respect myself enough to stop and investigate the origin of the pattern as a desire in total separation of me and within that I’ve missed a chance to actual LIVE.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to remain silent and not direct myself effectively and thus, experience regret for missing a chance to direct myself when the moment has gone and it is now no longer here. However, within that, I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to experience regret and within that experience actually missing a chance for physical and practical correction through learning from my mistake and correct my living application accordingly.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed continuously backchats when the experience of missing a chance comes up in the nature of planning how to manipulate and mislead myself and others to regain the possibility of winning the chance and within that, I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to exist in my mind, as the future and the past instead of becoming the directive principle of myself and my world and direct what required to be directed, in a physical common sensicaly corrective action instead of a mental unrealistic manners in the fantasy/illusion domain.

I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to see that  a CHANCE is actually gambling where I’m calculating my chances of fulfilment/pay-out/Pay-off and I assume and expect that the object of my desire will act on the same chance and there would be a Win-Win despite of the physical evidence that we are living in a polarity reality within a law of balance where there are winners and losers as it is visibly shown to us by the very fact of 3.3 billion beings in this world that are living under 2$ a day while a select few living a life of abundance on the behalf of the losers.

I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to see the living expression of the word CHANCE and yet, accepted and allowed myself to walk the word as a living expression of myself in total separation of myself because a CHANCE is a game of win and lose that is based on energy and thus, by walking the word CHANCE I’m stating that I’m giving my power a way to energy to direct me instead of being the directive principle of myself and my world.

I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to see the CHAIN of ENERGY within the word CHANCE (CHAN-see-E^(nergy)) and thus, I allowed myself to be chained to energy within the thought of missing a chance and within that, abdicated the responsibility of un-chain myself from the enslavement and control of the mind as energy and get myself back to myself as a physical expression of and as LIFE.

I forgive myself that I’ve not accepted and allowed myself to see that I’m gambling with my life through calculating my chances for happiness within the starting point of self interest desires in separation of me as a physical expression of life instead of assisting and supporting myself to step out of my mind and become the directive principle of myself and my world.

I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to see the relationship between chance and Energy in the context of rewards wherein, in the world system, the reward would be MONEY and in relationships, the rewards would be SEX.

I commit myself to stop living in the past and the future in my mind, within the fantasy/illusion domain and start LIVING a physical LIFE within this ONE physical reality.

I commit myself to be and become the directive principle of myself and my world and when and as I see a point that require direction, I immediately directing myself as the point, so that I won’t be able to later on manipulate myself with experiences of regret and I commit myself to – when and as I see myself accessing the experience of regret and I’m about to act on it, I stop, I breathe and I bring self respect HERE. I realized that what was done was done, and it is time to let it go because otherwise, instead of taking me back to myself as a living physical expression, I’m pushing myself further to my mind, in separation of me and all that exists.

I commit myself to LIVE in every moment of every breath according to principle that is best for all lives and within that, no regret exists because I trust myself to direct myself effectively to establish myself and the world as what is best for all and If I make a mistake, I won’t accept and allow regret, sorrow, frustration and depression to emerge as I see and realize that I’m as the creator of those emotions, are the creator of my life and thus, I breathe, I bring myself back to my human physical body and I direct myself to change.

I commit myself to stop the thoughts within the nature of regret of missing a chance because I realize that by accepting and allow those thoughts, I miss the chance to physically LIVE within this physical reality.

I commit myself to Unchain myself from the enslaved and controlled Energy that I’ve become as a living expression of and as the mind and transform and change myself to a physical Living expression that walk and express in every moment that which is best for all.

I commit myself to expose the world system that is based on a polarity of win and lose where we take our chances to get to the Pay-off while disregarding the physical manifestation of which the majority of the beings in this world are in the losing side of the polarity and I commit myself to do whatever it takes to bring an END to Chance and transform Chance To Change for that which is best for all.

I commit myself to STOP gambling in my mind to fulfil my secret desires that are being created in the illusion/fantasy domain and to practically and physically walk and direct myself according to EQUALITY equation that is based on Common Sense Physical HEREness where everything and everyone are being considered and regarded.