Is it too late? Day 527

Sometimes in my life, I find myself in a point of self-blame, regrets and self-judgements for the mistakes that I've done. By mistakes I mean - saying or doing things I should not have said/do, that caused a friction and sabotaged a particular relationship. Or things I haven't said or done, that I should have said or do to potentially prevent negative consequences from manifesting.

But what is the point of going into self-blame, regrets and self-judgements if we do not learn or make any effort to truly change? I've been looking at this question lately and here is what I have found:

We normally reflect back on our lives when negative consequences are showing themselves in our reality - this is where the self-blame, regrets and self-judgements experience start, along with the energy that it carry around the whole body.

It feels 'Icky' and uncomfortable and this can go on and on, so long as we still accepting the self-blame, regrets and self-judgements as valid and allowing the experience to continue inside of ourselves, without giving ourselves supportive direction. With accepting and allowing the energetic experience, we are essentially punishing ourselves for the mistakes that we have made and at the same time, we do not learn from our mistakes. Thus, we are continuing this vicious cycle that we never step out from.

The Irony is that in self-honesty, regret makes us feel good about ourselves - it gives us the idea that we are taking responsibility for the mistakes. It is like almost a belief that because we are able to feel regret, we must be good because  bad people wouldn't give a damn and never take responsibility. Though, by accepting and allowing regret, we don't take self-responsibility for the mistakes like for instance:
1. Mapping out the event

2. Investigating the time lines

3. Slowing down to see the reactions that we accepted and allowed inside of ourselves

4. Practically learning to be able to correct our application when the next window of opportunity arrive.

Another point to looks at in self-honesty - when we judge and blame ourselves, we unconsciously believe that we are good people. We stand as our own judge, we put ourselves in trial, we are judged by the judge who is ourselves and we get punished. Once the punishment has been served, we could then be at peace with ourselves - we are forgiven by god in a way. Only the good people are forgiven by god.

Alright so by now it is becoming clear that feeling regret and blaming/judging ourselves is useless and counterproductive. Feeling regret, judging and blaming ourselves, doesn't bring us closer to the real root cause of the problem that we are facing. For the most part, as I just explained, it only makes us feel better about ourselves and that's as far as it actually goes. I mean, if it would take us to a point of correction, if it would motivate us to make real time change then sure, it can be valid. But as long we continue the vicious cycle of making mistake -> regret/blame/judgment -> feeling good about ourselves -> making another mistake, it will reach a point of being 'too late'.

So now what?

When or as you realize you made a mistake, or when the consequences have manifested, and the regret/blame/judgement start to come up and take over your mind -> STOP for a moment, TAKE a breath and FORGIVE yourself. Forgiveness would be the KEY, the foundation from which you are able to move yourself towards the a solution, towards a change. What do I mean by that? Well, why won't you find out for yourself? Here is a link to a self-development FREE course where you are able to learn about self-forgiveness and how to effectively apply forgiveness in your reality - DIP Lite.

Meanwhile, you can also leave a message at the comment section to continue this discussion.

Emotional Attachment and Physical connection (Part 5) - Day 464

When I started walking the blog series - "Emotional Attachment and Physical connection", I had no idea that what would emerge from this blog series would be an introspection of relationships as a whole. The more I investigate the point, the more I expose myself to what relationship actually is and how relationships are currently lived. In my last blog, I asked myself - 

 

"is it that we fear losing the other being, or is it that we fear losing the Positive Energy Experience? Is it that our relationships to others is based on the type of energy we can draw from them or is it a relationship that is based on a physical connection, where we are able to share and express ourselves with one another?"

 

It is interesting because the reasons why it was relatively "easy" (for a lack of a better word) from the sense of not experiencing so much resistance to open up these points within myself, was due to the starting point being to investigate the reaction towards an animal being sick as oppose to a human being sick. The reason being - the Value we give to a Human in our mind is for the most part greater than the value we give to an Animal (Which is another blog by itself) and so, the resistance to open up the point if it was a human, most likely to be far more intense as oppose to the resistance being in relation to an animal.

 

Obviously this point is extensive as I now see that I require to investigate each and every relationship that I have ever had or still have with individuals. For instance, what I have started doing is to bring the relationship with all its memories here, and see who I am in the relationship to this individual and the memories and then, in side myself I imagine that the being is gone for some reason, and I assess who I am then, when they are no longer in my reality - what energy moves inside myself, what thoughts comes up and so on. Then, I bring everything back here, see again what moves inside myself. This is how I assist and support myself in identifying the Emotional Attachment and Name the Specific Energy that is the starting point of that relationship.

 

Next what I will be doing is assisting and supporting myself to Transform the energy connection to a physical connection where I am able to express/share myself with others as a living physical expression of myself whereas, their presence or absence  in my reality is not dependent on Who I AM as a living expression.

 

So it is going to be an interesting point to walk through, first with myself and then as a physical correction - will share more as I move ahead..

 

 

I Regret, therefor, I'm a Good Person. NOT!!! - Day 191

This is a continuation to:

The Elite's delusion of stress - Part 1 - Day 45

The Elite's Delusion of Stress - Part 2 - Day 46

The Decision of TIME - Day 67

And:

Copy Paste Character - the Way for Success? - Day 183

Copy Paste Character - The Education System - Day 184

Is it possible to Cheat yourself? Day 185

It is time to STOP Existing as a Human Machine - Day 186

The End of Times - Day 187

Facing the Evil within - the KEY to LIFE - Day 188

Fear of Disappointing others - Day 189

The Psychology of TIME - Day 190

 

For the purpose of context, suggest reading these posts above prior to reading the post below, if you haven’t already. Here I will be walking the 'I don't have TIME' Character - Fear Dimension - Practical support with Self Forgiveness and Self Commitments.

 

The List below consists of the Fears which are the foundation of the 'I don't have Time' Character.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Fear Dimension:

* Fear that I'll disappoint other people if I won't take more tasks on myself

* Fear that I would be defined as unworthy because I'm not using my time to

it's utmost potential.

* Fear that I won't get things done and would regret it when consequences

would emerged so basically, fear of the consequences.

* Fear that I would be seen as not good enough, replaceable, inadequate

* Fear of being exposed as self dishonest because I know, that if I put my self

interest desires aside, I'm able to walk my tasks in absolute perfection.

* Fear of Missing out the Positive as Entertainment

 

----

 

* Fear that I won't get things done and would regret it when consequences

would emerged so basically, fear of the consequences.

 

Within this fear - it is not the consequences per se that I fear, it is how other would perceive me, how they would judge me when the work isn't done in time. Thus, it is to see here, how the mind work and how I've manipulated myself to believe that I cared about the consequences when I'm not having a work done wherein the fact of the matter is, all I cared about was how others would perceive/see me if/when the work is not done by it's due date.

 

Within this obviously - how I've abdicated my responsibility in walking for and as myself, within and as the principle of that which is best for all in everything that I do, as who I am wherein, if I would have walked a point for myself, from the starting point of seeing directly how and why this point will benefit everyone, I would care about the outcome and within that, see how I can perfect, align and correct the point so that the outcome will be the best of my REAL abilities without giving value to how others would perceive me, in walking in absolute self trust, breath by breath.

 

Thus, the blog today wouldn't be directly regarding to the Fear dimension as the point of how others perceive me in relation to my work was dealt with on Fear of Disappointing others - Day 189 blog post. Within this blog than, I would walk the point of self manipulation and abdication of Self Responsibility when walking a point/work/task from a starting point of being appreciated rather than walking from and as SELF starting point where self see, understand and realize why self is doing what self does from and as the principle of that which is best for all.

 

This is part of the Consequences Dimension actually but since the point is already here, I might as well walk it. :-)

 

Self Forgiveness:

 

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see that Regret is always based on deception/self dishonesty because Regret indicate that I knew what needed to be done and yet, I've accepted and allowed my self interest desire to take complete control and become my directive principle. I see, realize and understand that whenever I look back in Regret, I'm manipulating myself into thinking that I am a good for even experiencing regret instead of looking back from the starting point of seeing what I've accepted and allowed myself to stand as, be and become and how I'm practically going to align/change and correct myself within the principle of that which is best for all within the self realization that what was done was done and I cannot change the past but I can stop manifesting the same consequences that I've previously accepted and allowed myself to deliberately create.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to manipulate myself in thinking and believing that I'm effective within what I do because my task/work is always done and I haven't considered that the task/work that is done, was done in absolute separation as my starting point wasn't having the work/task done in absolute perfection to the best of my abilities within and as Who I am as the directive principle, breath by breath but rather, having other people pleased with the work/task being done while trusting me that I've done it to the best of my ability while inside me, I know when I haven't. Within that, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to stand in absolute self honesty and walking a task/work to my utmost potential and within that, cross referencing myself, check and test if the outcome is in alignment to that which is best for all and accordingly, when and as require, align, correct, adjust and in that, being satisfied with myself and as myself, that I've walked the point/task/work in its totality wherein WHO I am is a direct reflection of what I've done.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to NOT consider the consequences when and as I'm walking a point/task/work within the starting point of pleasing others and worrying about what they would think about me wherein, the outcome would not be as effective as when I would have walked a point/task/work when the starting point is Clear within and as myself, where I see directly what needs to be done within the principle of what is best for all and walk it, breath by breath till I'm satisfied from the application as who I am.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to manipulate myself within the belief that I would regret not having a task/work done and within that, made myself feeling better as a person for actually caring about the work being done while all along, what was my self interest was to be validated/worthy/value myself through the eyes of others.

 

Self Commitments:

I commit myself to STOP manipulating myself within stating that I could have done something better, I could have made other decisions within the experience of Regret because I now see, realize and understand that in self honesty, I must name the game I was playing with myself instead of trying to make it look better within myself by creating the experience of Regret. In this, I commit myself to - when and as an experience of Regret comes up, to immediately STOP, Breath and see the specificity of what I've accepted and allowed myself to participate with thus far and from there - assess, investigate, test and check, how to align myself within and as the principle of that which is best for all and through that, stop manifesting deliberate consequences and stand within and as self honesty as who I am, in every single breath.

 

I commit myself to assist and support myself in aligning my starting point within everything that I do through self introspection and in that, to perfect, empower and grow myself as who I am in what I do so that, in every breath, I walk to my best of my abilities, in self honesty, for and as Myself as I see, for myself, what needs to be done, how it needs to be done, what are the steps I must walk to perfect myself and accordingly, apply my realizations in a practical, constructive way to my utmost potential.

Art Work – Andrew Gable

Multiple Partners? Shame on you - Part 6 - Day 147

 

 

This is a continuation to:

Multiple Partners? Shame on you - Part 1 - Day 142

Multiple Partners? Shame on you - Part 2 - Day 143

Multiple Partners? Shame on you - Part 3 - Day 144

Multiple Partners? Shame on you - Part 4 - Day 145

Multiple Partners? Shame on you - Part 5 - Day 146

 

I commit myself to SHOW that the decisions children and adults are making are always based on FEAR and to assist and support oneself in seeing, understanding and realizing the source of their fears in relation to each and every single decision one is about to make, so that the decision would be in fact based on What is best for oneself through the principle that what is best for self in self honesty is what's best for all.

 

I commit myself to SHOW that Despite of parents' intent to raise their kids to reach their utmost potential as a human being, unless the parent first clear one's starting point and standing in absolute self honesty, the parent would impose their fears onto their children which would result in ineffective decision making done by the child.

 

I commit myself to SHOW that when the parent speak to their children in fear, the sound in their words of fear would imprint into the child without any actual education process regarding of how to develop and establish an effective trust within oneself, in every moment of every breath and so, making decisions based on principle of what's best for all instead of making decisions that would result in one's self harm, abuse, sabotage and compromise.

 

I commit myself to SHOW to when the parents' control and limit their child's expression without walking with them the common sense educational process, the child would develop suppressed spite towards the parent and would make decisions that would be based on revenge of the parent with no consideration of the consequential outflows of their doing that may result in self abuse/compromise/harm/sabotage.

 

I commit myself to SUPPORT the youth with the understanding, seeing and realizing of who they are as a physical human being through sharing my own self investigation regarding my youth years and the decisions I've made that result in ineffective outflows and consequences that if I had the tools to assist and support myself back than, I would have had the chance to make decisions that would support me, my human physical body and this world as a whole and so, as I'm walking my correction in my journey to life writing, I'll stand as an example, as an educator, as a support for the youth and their parents in presenting the tools, the considerations and the support that we all required to be and become to manifest a world that is best for all, as who we are, as Life that is best for all.

Stopping Regret, Becoming Physical - Day 139

This is a continuation to:

Sexual Journey - Regret as Fear of Loss - Day 136

Life Journey - Regret as Fear of Loss - Self Forgiveness - Part 1 - Overview - Day 137

Life Journey - Regret as Fear of Loss - Part 2 - Day 138

 

As well as:

This is a continuation to the Blog post:

The Self Diminishment Character - Day 94

They are Better than me, I'm so fucked up - Day 95

Taking responsibility for my creation - Day 96

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to create an idea within and as my mind as how my process should be like already in terms of the amount of thoughts/reactions that I'm participating with and accordingly, when a thoughts comes up, I immediately react in judgement towards myself not seeing the opportunity that I have to stop, investigate and change.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for the regret that I've experienced through the stipulation of the environment that I'm currently in and within that, instead of facing the reaction as regret and walking through self correction, I've diminished myself through self judgement based on the idea that I shouldn't have experience regret within and as myself by now.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to NOT realize that in every moment of every breath, I have an opportunity to change myself through changing my starting point of how would I assist and support myself to step out of my mind.

 

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to unconditionally assist and support myself to step and walk out of my mind because if I had, I wouldn't allow myself to diminish myself through self judgement when and as a thought/reactions comes up and I immediately compare myself to an idea I've created about myself and whom should I be right now in my process, instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that in that moment when the thought/reaction comes up, I have an window of opportunity to correct myself within and as breath through applying Physical Self Forgiveness and bring myself back here, to my physical reality, in breath.

 

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that there is nothing WRONG with me when a thought/reactions comes up and so, instead of supporting myself through self introspection of what I have accepted and allowed myself to participate with, I've judge myself for having thoughts/reactions and in essence further separating myself from myself as I now see, realize and understand that every moment is a opportunity for change which means that instead of judging myself, I would Breathe, see the time line that led to the thought/reaction and accordingly support myself to stand in alignment with the thought/reaction and Change, in self honesty practical application as how I would see to be the best in that moment to assist and support myself.

 

I commit myself to Embrace, be humble and supportive for myself and in that, when and as I see myself accessing self judgement upon a reoccuring thoughts that came up within and as myself, I stop, I breath, and I investigate within and as myself the time line that had led to the thought to be manifested within and as myself because I see, realize and understand that the existence of this thought is to assist and support myself with seeing my acceptance and allowences and accordingly, take the responsibility to change.

 

I commit myself to stop hating and disrespecting who and what I have become as I was always the one who decide and within that, instead of fighting with myself, I embrace myself, support myself and caressing myself within this process of self change.

 

I Commit myself to Remind myself that in every moment of every breath a window of opportunity for self change is emerged and within that, I have the power to decide whether I would walk through this window, support myself and change or whether I would allow myself to time loop, close the window and wait till the next window would open up.

 

I commit myself to Remind myself and others as myself that when and as we accept and allow self judgement within and as ourselves, we in fact, accept and allow our own diminishment as we can in that moment, transform self judgement to self change and support ourselves to step out of the mind and delete the pattern/character that we have created, through investigating and seeing the time line which we have created the character into full participation and it's up to us to decide to stop, change and LIVE.

Life Journey - Regret as Fear of Loss - Part 2

This is a continuation to:

Sexual Journey - Regret as Fear of Loss - Day 136

Life Journey - Regret as Fear of Loss - Self Forgiveness - Part 1 - Overview - Day 137

 

As I was walking the Self Forgiveness yesterday and went back today to review my statements, I've noticed that the main point that I were accepting and allowing within and as myself was self judgement to control, enslave and take myself down into absolute self distrust, disrespect and in essence - Went into the Diminishment route.

 

When I looked at the Self Diminishment character, I've seen that this character is bases on Comparison which lead to Jealousy, competition and the polarity that would balance me between Jealousy as the 'down' and being spiteful to others as my 'high'. However, what I haven't covered in specificity is when the Comparison is bases on the Idea that I have about myself and what happen when my idea about myself isn't in alignment to my physical reality or where I am within my own process.

 

And so, yes, moments of regret had emerged which I've covered yesterday but what I haven't seen was how through regret, I judged myself to such an extent that I "lost" my own self respect to myself by judging myself for accepting and allowing thoughts of regret and accordingly, through the idea that I had in my mind of who and what I should already be in my process, I judged myself as I couldn't accept those thoughts and I haven't even seen my own struggling that indicated that the point wasn't a self realization point but rather energy fight that I've participated with myself so that I could justify the diminishment character within and as myself.

 

The point is that - There isn't right/wrong; the idea that I have in my mind about who and what I should be is an enslavement by itself because who I am isn't an idea that I must stand as; who I am is who I am in every moment of every breath and in absolute self trust, I would stand when I fall when participating with thoughts/backchat/feelings/emotions. I mean, I should be grateful for myself for seeing the backchat/reactions/thoughts in comparison to suppress and ignore and believe life is perfect and I'm perfect. If I wouldn't see the thoughts/backchat/reaction, that would be a problem. lol

 

So what I have I done? I totally diminished myself through self judgement for having thought of regret because I felt ashamed of myself. But instead, I'm here to assist and support myself to stand equal and one with what I've accepted and allowed as my mind and in that, not taking myself personally as I see, realize and understand how and why I've created those backchats/reactions/thoughts. So seriously, Enough - no more self judgement but rather seeing those moments of opportunity to change, Here, as and within breath.

 

Life Journey - Regret as Fear of Loss - Self Forgiveness - Part 1 - Overview - Day 137

This is a continuation to:

Sexual Journey - Regret as Fear of Loss - Day 136

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed within and as myself thoughts and backchats in the nature of Regret as Fear of Loss which indicate that my decision to walk in every moment of every breath according to that which is best for all wasn't in absolute self honesty and there are still layers/dimension that I must look at and in this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for having those thoughts/backchat within and as myself instead of embracing that which I'm showing myself through the thought/backchat and accordingly, assist and support myself with going deeper in my self investigating, to be able to change myself as my starting point in making sure that I'm walking in clarity and stability, in self honesty.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for experiencing Regret as Fear of Loss without seeing, realizing and understanding the years of programming, influences and brainwash that I was busy enforcing myself into and as and in this, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to embrace myself as the process that I'm busy walking, acknowledging the space and time that I walk as the time line of each and every single program/system that I've created within and as myself and in essence - when and as a thought/back chat comes from within me, I have an opportunity to see that thought/backchat for what it is, see the trigger point, the activation point and the time line that led me to experience the thought/backchat and accordingly, support myself through Self Forgiveness and Self Commitment to Step out of the programming/systems that I've placed inside myself and to Breathe through it, bring myself HERE and simply LIVE as a physical expression, breath by breath.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to experience Regret as Fear of Loss when and as I hear/see that my past partners are already settled-in in the world system with a jobs, wife, kids and I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to automatically compare them to where I am within my life at this moment and projecting myself to the past and future, imagining how my life would have looked like if only I wouldn't make the decision that I made. Within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to - in that moment of comparison as future/past projection, to only look at one side of the polarity, as the external life that I might have had, without seeing within and as myself, my internal world and what I would have gone through if I would have allowed myself to continue suppressing and sabotaging myself, as I am now starting to see, realize and understand who and what I have become through years upon years of suppression and character creations and what my future would be like if I wouldn't make the decision to assist and support myself in getting to know myself as the mind and accordingly, rebirth myself as a physical living human being.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to experience Regret as Fear of Loss when and as I see my life in comparison to the Life that I might have had with my ex partners and within that, assuming that my life would have been much easier if I would stay in those relationships however, I now see, realize and understand that when and as I project the words: "Easier Life" it is only from the perspective of having Money and thus, I see, realize and understand that I must stand for that which is best for all and make sure that all would have an "easy life" in terms of stopping all experiences of survival so that everyone would have the opportunity to in fact Live a Life that is worth while instead of only a few in this world that were Lucky enough to have some money in their hands to support them in fulfilling their desires on the expenses of the Majority of this world.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to attempt to elevate myself through justifying why I have decided to walk the path that I'm currently walking and why I shouldn't have the Life that was prepared for me by my parents and I forgive myself that I haven't seen, realized and understood that my need to justify my decision, reveal that I'm not absolutely walking unconditionally the path that I'm walking and that in essence, my directive principle is still Regret as the Fear of Loss, because I fear that if I won't walk the path I'm currently walking, I would live a life of real regret, and I would lose myself and the support that I'm receiving from my fellow Destonians. In this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to walk my process and the path that I have chosen to walk, based on fear  that I may regret not walking my process once I died when I would realize that I had the chance to walk in the physical and yet, I haven't and within this, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that my process isn't absolutely unconditionally walked in every moment of every breath by me as the living principle of myself and my world and now that I'm seeing this point very clearly, I Commit myself to change the starting point and bring the decision back to myself, walking this process for and as myself because I see, realize and understand that accepting and allowing myself to walk my automated characters/personalities/reactions etc. is not a life that I would want for myself and I commit myself to STAND as the Directive Principle in every moment of every breath through continuing assisting and supporting myself in writing, self forgiveness, self corrective application, sharing myself with others from the starting point of having cross reference to minimize the time loops that I may walk as well as supporting others through my writings to minimize their time loops so that eventually, together, we could stand and recreate a world that is best for all, internally and externally.

Sexual Journey - Regret as Fear of Loss - Day 136

Continuing with my investigation of what I've created from a simple point of Sex and Sexuality and created layers upon layers of Judgement, opinions, excuses which from all of which I've created and manifest my own religion - My Religion of Self.

 

An interesting point that I came to realize lately is the derivative of the Fear of Loss -> Regret.

As I am walking back in time, observing who I am or more specifically who I was throughout my relationship Journeys and as I see what I have accepted and allowed and how I made the decisions I made, a feeling of regret flooding within and as me when a memory comes up; the back chat is like: if only I would have done things differently, how would my life would turn out to be?; I did a huge mistake, I should have stayed in that relationship; it's too late now, he already has kids; no one would never love and respect me the way he did; How stupid was I? Why couldn't I see what I had in my hands; If only.. What if.. Is it too late?

 

At the moment I'm in Israel for a 2 weeks visit and all my past is now busy hunting me. I hear stories about a guy I was with, I see an article on the news paper with another guy I was with, I hear that my first boyfriend got married and have kids now, I hear that most of the people I was with are already settled in with homes, wives and babies and here I am.. Doing the opposite from every route my life could ever take me, living on a farm far away from my roots, busy with something that only a few dares of doing.. Am I doing the right thing?

Should I stay here and build myself a house in Israel and try to forget the journey that I've walked thus far?

 

OBVIOUSLY NOT! It is just another character that I've accepted and allowed myself to take myself into and for a moment, just for a tiny moment, allowed those back chat that revealed the point of REGRET as fear of lose.

It's quite cool to have those backchat to reveal to me what and who I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become. It's quite cool to have a mirror, as my mind, to show me my deepest desires as the programming that I've programmed myself as throughout my life, with the assistance and support of my environment, culture, religion, family, friends, media etc.

 

What is clear now is - as long as I accept and allow those step backs into my past, as regret, I would never in fact LIVE as a physical human being because it is SOOOO easy to fall back into my back chat through the stipulation of memories and past experiences and unless I stand as the directive principle and Forgive myself for every inch of thought/feeling/emotions that I've automatically live, I've got no chance.

 

Regret is quite a bitchy character that I've created because it can so easily take one to self pity, self sorrow within the attempt that one would never start walking but would always remain enslave to one's past.

What was done was done and it is clear to me that I would have never be happy and satisfied with my life if I would have stayed ignorant and would never found the characters that I've created.

 

Like for example, the diminishment character that I've seen myself creating a while ago - that character would have played again and again within and as me, regardless of how my life would have turn out in any other scenario. I would keep comparing myself to everything and everyone and I would always find something to be jealous at, something to judge myself for, something to take myself down with no self value or respect.

I would probably compromise for a man that wouldn't support me in anyway to step out of my mind and I would be always always create myself as controlled, enslaved and dispower in absolute separation of myself. I would keep nodding and say I'm happy even though inside, I would have been miserable. I would praise and glorify my children despite the fact that they took over my life and all my worth is in making money, raise them and maybe, just maybe, would have enough to take myself into a vacation once in a while to try and achieve the desires I've installed within myself through what I hear/see in my environment.

 

So, Commonsensically, I cannot accept and allow those thoughts/feeling/emotions/reactions that arise from within me while walking my journey to LIFE as I see, realize and understand it is another self manipulation that I'm doing to myself so that I would give up and stop walking out from my mind and instead, scroll back into my mind, into enclosure, till I die and then… it's absolutely toooooo late.

 

Tomorrow - Self Forgiveness..

 

 

 

For more context, please read -

Sexual Expression – Overview  Day 112

Investigating Sexual Expression - Self Forgiveness Part 1 - Day 113

Investigating Sexual Expression - Self Commitments - Part 1 - Day 114

 

Investigating Sexual Expression - Part 2 - Day 121

Investigating Sexual Expression - Self Forgiveness - Part 2 - Day 122

Investigating Sexual Expression - Self Commitments - Part 2 - Day 123

 

Spilling semen in vain - Day 115

Spilling semen in vain - Self Forgiveness -  Day 116

Spilling semen in vain - Self Commitments -  Day 117

 

Be Fruitful and Multiply - Day 118

Be Fruitful and Multiply - Self Forgiveness - Day 119

Be Fruitful and Multiply - Self Commitments - Day 120

 

Sexual Inadequacy - Overview - Day 124

Sex in the Dark – Sexual Inadequacy–Part 1 - Day 125

Sex in the Dark – Sexual Inadequacy – Part 2 - Day 126

Sexual Education - Part 1 - Day 127

Sexual Education - Part 2 - Day 128

 

My Partner is Boring - Let's breakup - Day 129

This relationship is BORING - Self Forgiveness - Day 130

My Partner IS BORING - Self Commitments - Day 131

 

Sexual Journey - Day 132

Sexual Journey - Early Adulthood years - Day 133

Sexual Journey - Early Adulthood years - Part 2 - Day 134

Sexual Journey - Early Adulthood years - Part 3 - Day 135

 

Life of Regret - Day 75

For context

please read the Creation to Life blog: Day 7: Letting Go of Regret

As well as my blog: Illusion Reality vs. the Physical Reality - Day 3

And watch: Illusion Reality vs. the Physical Reality YouTube video.

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that the past is done and cannot be changed however, what can be changed is the recreation of consequences that I would manifested if I wouldn't take absolute responsibility for myself and my world and allow my PAST to direct and enslave me through my accepted and allowed automated behaviours, reactions, beliefs, etc which I would later on may defined as a regret. Within that, I see, realize and understand my responsibility within that which I've created for myself and this world in absolute ignorance and stupidity.

I commit myself to delete the ties of my past trough a process of stopping pattern by pattern, breath by breath to for once and for all, stop myself from creating unnecessarily consequences that will influence not only me, but the lives of others.

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see how it is impractical, useless and worthless to access the emotion of Regret when and as thoughts comes up within me, telling me that I could have done something different to get my desired outcome.

I commit myself to utilize regret as a gift where I can expand and grow myself within a practical corrective application where I take self responsibility for what I have accepted and allowed myself in my past, stand as the directive principle and change myself within and as the principle of oneness and equality as I see, realize and understand that accessing regret will not and cannot support me if I wallow within it, participating in back chat into a complete possession.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to believe that I can control the outcome and forced the physical reality according to my desires without taking into considerations all the relationships that are involved within and as this existence and unless my desire isn't that which is best for all, the outcome will never be equal to and one as my desires that I've created within and as me, in separation of myself and all that is here. For context - please read - Illusion Reality vs. the Physical Reality - Day 3.

I commit myself to show and explain in writing why is it that the physical reality and the illusionary reality will never stand as Equal as long as the illusionary reality is based on self interest desires and within that context, how to assist and support oneself to let go of the illusionary reality and stand as the directive principle of oneself and one's world within and as the physical reality

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to access regret when a relationship that I've walked with a partner has failed and within that have defined myself as a failure, exactly as my Ego dictate me to feel however, what I have failed to realized was that the Regret can only exists if somewhere within me, I knew that I've deliberately ignored the red flags with regards to my alignment with a partner (for context, read: How to Choose a Partner – Day 21).

"I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to engage in relationships on terms that is based in self interest and that time and time again fail to produce a result that is best for all parts of the relationship and that eventually always end in regret." Bernard Poolman

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to expect for a specific outcome that I've planed thoroughly within my illusionary mind domain and when the illusionary reality and the physical reality didn't meet, I had to let go of the fantasy, though still held on regret so that I could start again to plan the next illusion, despite of me seeing quite clearly that I will build up the energy charge within and as the illusionary domain until the point where I would realize that the fantasy won't come through, I would then let it go within regret and continue again and again and again.

I commit myself to never again walk a relationship that I have planned in prepared in my illusionary mind domain, as I see realize and understand that the relationship that I've prepared myself for, in my mind, was to fulfil my self interest desires wherein the outcome of those relationships, if I actually follow my mind, will not result with the utmost potential results as I've proved it to myself time after time, throughout my life.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to access Regret when and as I have walked a path that others warned me about the outcome and showed me the possibilities of outcome that may manifested if I allow myself to go through a specific path and yet, I've walked the path regardless the other's suggestions and when it manifested as they have predicted, I felt regret, angry and frustrated as I had then to give up the expected outcome; accept myself as a failure, useless and worthless within the experience that my Ego is now somewhat crushed and wounded.

I commit myself to consider to learn from other people and within that context, to not let my Ego be the directive principle but rather walk as common sense principle, consider the physical reality and the equality equation within my decision making. 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to experience Regret in relation to what I have realized about myself in the context of my responsibility towards myself and this physical creation when I faced a difficult point within my process and within that, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed the thought: "I wish I would never discover Desteni and could remain in my delusional life where everything is easy and fun" to come up from within and as me. Also, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see that the nature of the regret within that context is a manipulation tactic of my mind, to push me into giving up on myself because the last thing the mind wants me to do is changing and stopping its existence so that I could become LIFE as a physical living human being.

I commit myself to stand as an example for those who start walking their process of discovering the real nature of themselves through sharing my own process and the point that I have faced and still face as I see, realize and understand that we are all the same and walking the same points with different outfits and through my example, other people won't necessary walk the mistakes that I have made.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to experience Regret for not starting to walk my Journey to Life  within daily Self Forgiveness application, 3 years ago and have thus, time looped many many points that I could have already deleted, corrected and changed. within that, I see, realize and understand that I cannot turn the wheel of time back but can only assist and support myself from this day onwards and thus, accessing regret is but nothing of a waste of my time that I could use to actually support myself and others in this physical reality.