Life Journey - Regret as Fear of Loss - Self Forgiveness - Part 1 - Overview - Day 137

This is a continuation to:

Sexual Journey - Regret as Fear of Loss - Day 136

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed within and as myself thoughts and backchats in the nature of Regret as Fear of Loss which indicate that my decision to walk in every moment of every breath according to that which is best for all wasn't in absolute self honesty and there are still layers/dimension that I must look at and in this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for having those thoughts/backchat within and as myself instead of embracing that which I'm showing myself through the thought/backchat and accordingly, assist and support myself with going deeper in my self investigating, to be able to change myself as my starting point in making sure that I'm walking in clarity and stability, in self honesty.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for experiencing Regret as Fear of Loss without seeing, realizing and understanding the years of programming, influences and brainwash that I was busy enforcing myself into and as and in this, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to embrace myself as the process that I'm busy walking, acknowledging the space and time that I walk as the time line of each and every single program/system that I've created within and as myself and in essence - when and as a thought/back chat comes from within me, I have an opportunity to see that thought/backchat for what it is, see the trigger point, the activation point and the time line that led me to experience the thought/backchat and accordingly, support myself through Self Forgiveness and Self Commitment to Step out of the programming/systems that I've placed inside myself and to Breathe through it, bring myself HERE and simply LIVE as a physical expression, breath by breath.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to experience Regret as Fear of Loss when and as I hear/see that my past partners are already settled-in in the world system with a jobs, wife, kids and I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to automatically compare them to where I am within my life at this moment and projecting myself to the past and future, imagining how my life would have looked like if only I wouldn't make the decision that I made. Within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to - in that moment of comparison as future/past projection, to only look at one side of the polarity, as the external life that I might have had, without seeing within and as myself, my internal world and what I would have gone through if I would have allowed myself to continue suppressing and sabotaging myself, as I am now starting to see, realize and understand who and what I have become through years upon years of suppression and character creations and what my future would be like if I wouldn't make the decision to assist and support myself in getting to know myself as the mind and accordingly, rebirth myself as a physical living human being.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to experience Regret as Fear of Loss when and as I see my life in comparison to the Life that I might have had with my ex partners and within that, assuming that my life would have been much easier if I would stay in those relationships however, I now see, realize and understand that when and as I project the words: "Easier Life" it is only from the perspective of having Money and thus, I see, realize and understand that I must stand for that which is best for all and make sure that all would have an "easy life" in terms of stopping all experiences of survival so that everyone would have the opportunity to in fact Live a Life that is worth while instead of only a few in this world that were Lucky enough to have some money in their hands to support them in fulfilling their desires on the expenses of the Majority of this world.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to attempt to elevate myself through justifying why I have decided to walk the path that I'm currently walking and why I shouldn't have the Life that was prepared for me by my parents and I forgive myself that I haven't seen, realized and understood that my need to justify my decision, reveal that I'm not absolutely walking unconditionally the path that I'm walking and that in essence, my directive principle is still Regret as the Fear of Loss, because I fear that if I won't walk the path I'm currently walking, I would live a life of real regret, and I would lose myself and the support that I'm receiving from my fellow Destonians. In this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to walk my process and the path that I have chosen to walk, based on fear  that I may regret not walking my process once I died when I would realize that I had the chance to walk in the physical and yet, I haven't and within this, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that my process isn't absolutely unconditionally walked in every moment of every breath by me as the living principle of myself and my world and now that I'm seeing this point very clearly, I Commit myself to change the starting point and bring the decision back to myself, walking this process for and as myself because I see, realize and understand that accepting and allowing myself to walk my automated characters/personalities/reactions etc. is not a life that I would want for myself and I commit myself to STAND as the Directive Principle in every moment of every breath through continuing assisting and supporting myself in writing, self forgiveness, self corrective application, sharing myself with others from the starting point of having cross reference to minimize the time loops that I may walk as well as supporting others through my writings to minimize their time loops so that eventually, together, we could stand and recreate a world that is best for all, internally and externally.