Life of Regret - Day 75

For context

please read the Creation to Life blog: Day 7: Letting Go of Regret

As well as my blog: Illusion Reality vs. the Physical Reality - Day 3

And watch: Illusion Reality vs. the Physical Reality YouTube video.

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that the past is done and cannot be changed however, what can be changed is the recreation of consequences that I would manifested if I wouldn't take absolute responsibility for myself and my world and allow my PAST to direct and enslave me through my accepted and allowed automated behaviours, reactions, beliefs, etc which I would later on may defined as a regret. Within that, I see, realize and understand my responsibility within that which I've created for myself and this world in absolute ignorance and stupidity.

I commit myself to delete the ties of my past trough a process of stopping pattern by pattern, breath by breath to for once and for all, stop myself from creating unnecessarily consequences that will influence not only me, but the lives of others.

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see how it is impractical, useless and worthless to access the emotion of Regret when and as thoughts comes up within me, telling me that I could have done something different to get my desired outcome.

I commit myself to utilize regret as a gift where I can expand and grow myself within a practical corrective application where I take self responsibility for what I have accepted and allowed myself in my past, stand as the directive principle and change myself within and as the principle of oneness and equality as I see, realize and understand that accessing regret will not and cannot support me if I wallow within it, participating in back chat into a complete possession.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to believe that I can control the outcome and forced the physical reality according to my desires without taking into considerations all the relationships that are involved within and as this existence and unless my desire isn't that which is best for all, the outcome will never be equal to and one as my desires that I've created within and as me, in separation of myself and all that is here. For context - please read - Illusion Reality vs. the Physical Reality - Day 3.

I commit myself to show and explain in writing why is it that the physical reality and the illusionary reality will never stand as Equal as long as the illusionary reality is based on self interest desires and within that context, how to assist and support oneself to let go of the illusionary reality and stand as the directive principle of oneself and one's world within and as the physical reality

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to access regret when a relationship that I've walked with a partner has failed and within that have defined myself as a failure, exactly as my Ego dictate me to feel however, what I have failed to realized was that the Regret can only exists if somewhere within me, I knew that I've deliberately ignored the red flags with regards to my alignment with a partner (for context, read: How to Choose a Partner – Day 21).

"I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to engage in relationships on terms that is based in self interest and that time and time again fail to produce a result that is best for all parts of the relationship and that eventually always end in regret." Bernard Poolman

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to expect for a specific outcome that I've planed thoroughly within my illusionary mind domain and when the illusionary reality and the physical reality didn't meet, I had to let go of the fantasy, though still held on regret so that I could start again to plan the next illusion, despite of me seeing quite clearly that I will build up the energy charge within and as the illusionary domain until the point where I would realize that the fantasy won't come through, I would then let it go within regret and continue again and again and again.

I commit myself to never again walk a relationship that I have planned in prepared in my illusionary mind domain, as I see realize and understand that the relationship that I've prepared myself for, in my mind, was to fulfil my self interest desires wherein the outcome of those relationships, if I actually follow my mind, will not result with the utmost potential results as I've proved it to myself time after time, throughout my life.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to access Regret when and as I have walked a path that others warned me about the outcome and showed me the possibilities of outcome that may manifested if I allow myself to go through a specific path and yet, I've walked the path regardless the other's suggestions and when it manifested as they have predicted, I felt regret, angry and frustrated as I had then to give up the expected outcome; accept myself as a failure, useless and worthless within the experience that my Ego is now somewhat crushed and wounded.

I commit myself to consider to learn from other people and within that context, to not let my Ego be the directive principle but rather walk as common sense principle, consider the physical reality and the equality equation within my decision making. 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to experience Regret in relation to what I have realized about myself in the context of my responsibility towards myself and this physical creation when I faced a difficult point within my process and within that, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed the thought: "I wish I would never discover Desteni and could remain in my delusional life where everything is easy and fun" to come up from within and as me. Also, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see that the nature of the regret within that context is a manipulation tactic of my mind, to push me into giving up on myself because the last thing the mind wants me to do is changing and stopping its existence so that I could become LIFE as a physical living human being.

I commit myself to stand as an example for those who start walking their process of discovering the real nature of themselves through sharing my own process and the point that I have faced and still face as I see, realize and understand that we are all the same and walking the same points with different outfits and through my example, other people won't necessary walk the mistakes that I have made.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to experience Regret for not starting to walk my Journey to Life  within daily Self Forgiveness application, 3 years ago and have thus, time looped many many points that I could have already deleted, corrected and changed. within that, I see, realize and understand that I cannot turn the wheel of time back but can only assist and support myself from this day onwards and thus, accessing regret is but nothing of a waste of my time that I could use to actually support myself and others in this physical reality.

Role Models – Day 17

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to see specific beings as a role model which I believed myself to be inspired by, without seeing that that which I’m inspired by is a point within me that I’ve not accepted as me, in separation of me because I perceived myself as lacking and incapable of standing as that point of self-expression as equal to and one as me.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to perceive people as a role model within an idea that I’ve created about them, without realizing that the idea is not even about them as who or what they are representing, it is about me and that which I’ve perceived myself as lacking in separation of me.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to place value in specific people which I’ve define as a role model, without realizing that if they were in fact a role model who stand as an example of what is best for all lives, they would actually challenge this existence and direct themselves and this world to a world that is best for all.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to believe that parents are a role model to their children despite the fact that if they would, they would challenge their own existence as their beliefs, opinions, religion of self as well as the world system and they would walk towards a solution that is in fact best for all lives and in doing so, will support and direct their children to become an effective human being as the Living expression of Life, within and as the Physical reality.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to see specific Politian as a role model, despite the fact that they have not done any substantial change in their lives as well as in this world as the physical evidence is of a world that is still a world that is best for only a select few, a world that is determine according to how much money one has in order to fulfil one’s desires while allowing the majority of the world to die in starvation, malnutrition, diseases and suffering.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to resists standing as a role model within the example that change is possible because I have not taken the responsibility to decide WHO I am as life and actually walking that decision within every moment of every breathe through a physical and substantial change, without realizing that as long as I wait and justify why I am not willing to change, I’m putting this world in jeopardy because if I can’t change, I can’t expect the world to change.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to deny, ignore and spite those who are standing as an example, those who can in fact challenge my existence and assist me with expanding and empowering me to become LIFE, because I’ve been secretly jealous and competitive towards them, not realizing that by doing so, I’m compromising and limiting myself and this world by not giving me the chance for a real and substantial change.

I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to see those that are standing as an example and to actually grow and expend myself with their assistance and support because of my Ego wherein, I’ve decided to compete with them and make them less than me in my mind so that I could define myself as worthy through finding fault in them and in doing so, miss an opportunity for an actual change within myself and the relationships that I have in my life.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to compete with those who are standing as an example for me to grow and expend myself because I perceive them as a threat to my Ego, not realizing that the very resistance that I’m experiencing towards them is due to jealousy when I perceive myself as lacking with what they have however, what I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize is that it is not what they Have that define them, it is who they are as the decision and the process they have walked to get to who they are and thus, they stand as an example of What and Who I can be when making the decision to walk the process to get to Who I am as a living expression of life

I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to SEE that those whom I’ve decided to follow by example weren’t standing according to principles of what is best for all because if they would, they would insist of self perfection and support others to reach their utmost potential by not accepting and allowing any form of shit from themselves and others and in doing so, assist and support existence within exposing the dishonesties and deceptions that are the foundation of this world and would have done whatever it takes to change this world to a place that is worth living.

I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to see that those whom I should see as an example are those who stand for principles of Oneness and Equality and wouldn’t not take shit from anything or anyone in existence, those who will do whatever it takes to expose the deception that we have defined as life so that we could actually become LIFE that is best for all.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to follow by the example of those who will not assist and support me to expend and grow but rather, assist me with remaining prisoned and occupied in my mind and I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to see that the reason why I’m using those people as an example is because they do not threat my existence nor challenge me as that which I’ve accepted and allowed myself to exists as and thus, I do not have to face and practically change myself for what is best for all life.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to be jealous at those who I see as effective, discipline and self directed because I perceived them as a threat in the secret competition of the ego personality that I’ve created, instead of seeing those people as a pillar, as an example of who I can become if I make the decision to be self effective, self discipline and self direct in every moment of every breath and within that, direct myself and my world to take full responsibility for what we’ve accepted and allowed so that we could face and change ourselves and this world to a world that is worth living, to a world that is in fact best for all in all ways possible.

I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to transform the jealousy to a point of self change and instead, became spiteful towards the beings I’m jealous at in my mind, tried to find fault in them so that I could feel worthy, good and better about myself.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to ignore the example that other people are standing as and instead, fight for my limitations by competing with them in my secret mind in the attempt of making myself feel worthy and validated.

I commit myself to stand as an example that a change is possible and I commit myself to challenge the existence of me as well as others so that we can all face ourselves and practically change, to never again be directed by self interest limited starting point but rather, direct ourselves and this world according to and as principle that are best for all LIFE, practically and physically.

I commit myself to stop jealousy towards those who may assist me in my process to become LIFE because I see and realize that my acceptance of me as jealousy doesn’t support me in anyway. And thus, I commit myself to utilize Jealousy as a gift for self transformation wherein, when and as I see myself accessing jealousy, I stop, I breathe and I investigate where, how and why I’ve separated myself from myself by perceiving that I’m lacking.

I commit myself to breathe and stop back chat when and as I see that I’m accessing resistance to what is being shared with me, so that I could look at the point in self honesty and direct myself in stability and self trust because I realize that whenever a resistance comes up from within me, there is a key point to self transformation and when I supress and hide from the actual point, I’m manifesting unnecessary time loop for myself and in that, compromising my entire process as well as the world process.

Who I am – Day 16

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to spite myself through holding on the desire of relationship even though I see and realize the consequences of such desire to exists within and as me because I haven’t yet made the ultimate decision of WHO I AM in every moment of every breath and thus, in every moment that I haven’t yet decided who I am, I’m literally spiting myself and compromising this world because I than, have no power as there is no Self-Trust.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to spite myself through going back to my mind even though I’ve seen the time line, my responsibility within it, the outflows and consequences because I haven’t yet accepted me as Life and there for, haven’t yet made the decision and walked myself back to myself as Life.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted myself as a desire for a relationship from the starting point of energy as the feeling that I’m waiting for because I haven’t respected myself enough to walk the decision of getting back to myself, as the entirety of myself, as Life that is here and within that to give up every desire and decision that I’ve made in a process of accumulation of self interest.

I forgive myself that I’ve not accepted and allowed myself to realize that to get myself back to myself here, it is a process of accumulation of living breath by breath and thus, I commit myself to walk myself to freedom, step by step, breath by breath. If I make a mistake, I face, correct and change, and I move myself within the breath as a living expression of myself as Life.

So – I Commit myself to walk myself back to myself as Life that is here. I commit myself to breathe and Live in every moment because practically, that is the only thing that can be done in every breathing moment.

I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to even consider WHO I AM and instead, I’ve accepted the limitation of myself as the mind to only a few personality designs that I’ve created as a protection mechanism to suppress my fears that I’ve accepted to be me.

I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to see the limitation that I’ve become through the accepted and allowed personalities creations which within doing so, I’ve separated myself from WHO I AM and suppressed my beingness to the extent of not realizing WHO I am in fact.

I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to consider the actual LIVING in and as the Physical reality because I was occupied in my mind, in my safe and protected reality which I’ve taken for granted as if it is life.

I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that the world is a reflection of who I am within the actions and deeds that I do as equal to and one with the decisions that I make and the thoughts that I follow and thus, I forgive myself that I’ve NOT see the relationship between Who I really AM and this world system so that I won’t have to face my acceptance of me as EVIL that have accepted and allowed this world to manifest in its correct existence of abuse and suffering.

I forgive myself that I’ve NOT consider that Who I am create what I do and if WHO I am isn’t Equal to and One as LIFE, who I am is in fact Evil. And thus, I forgive myself that I haven’t considered that What I Do is determine by Who I AM and thus, I commit myself to become LIFE and Do only that which Support LIFE.

I commit myself to get myself back to myself and to actually fully participate in the physical reality in every living moment as breath.

I commit myself to the decision of becoming LIFE and to do whatever it takes to get myself Here as LIFE and the outcome of my decision will be determine by What I Do as best for all Life . I commit myself to – when and as I see myself accessing my mind, to NOT accept and allow myself to participate and follow the pictures/thoughts/feelings/emotions, and to immediately delete the desire through the realization that WHO I am as LIFE isn’t defined by momentary desires but WHO I AM here is Breath as the living expression as me.

For more Support -Day 15: Who am I? Prisoner of the Mind?