Continuing
with the previous blog where I discussed my relationship to overhearing someone
talking about me and what revealed during the process of investigating this
points inside of myself. For context, please read: That moment when you hear people talking about you
(Part 1) - Day 538
As I
moved through the layers of my mind, I stumble upon another mind program that
was there to "support" the diminishment program that I was busy
working to step out from. Meaning:
When I
heard people talking about me, I immediately went into reaction. That reaction
carried diminishment signature because I used to define and judge myself
according to how other people saw/thought of me. Therefore, it didn't matter
what the intensity of the judgement in what they were saying was, it didn't
matter whether they said a valid thing or not - I just went into reaction. So
with me taking personally what they were saying about me, I unconsciously made
the decision to diminish myself because I had the chance to empower myself by
reminding myself that it is just their mind speaking, not who they are and it
doesn't define me.
Now, it
didn't end there, the consequences weren't late to come: The consequences of
accepting and allowing diminishment when overhearing people talking about me
was that the next time I saw them, I was still reactive and I immediately
pulled out the protection mechanism program to make sure I won't get hurt.
And so,
within that, I compromised my relationship with them because I went cold, I
went off grid, I did not want anything to do with them.. Instead of reminding
myself that "hey, it is really just their mind that you are reacting to..
Instead support them to see what they are accepting and allowing inside of
themselves".
This was
tough. Moving myself to a point of absolute forgiveness and support was
challenging. Because here I am, reacting to another person talking shit about
me, realizing I must forgive their mind so that I can stand as their support.
In that also, forgive myself for compromising my relationship with them and
having the patience to walk the manifested consequences - this was not easy.
And still, it is not easy.
When you
realize a point inside of yourself, it does not mean you transcend the point.
All it means is that you became aware of another tiny part of yourself. To
transform the realization into a point of change, you have to walk through the
physical reality and apply change in real time moment. This - this is the most
challenging thing I have done. It is one thing to theoretically forgive. It is
another thing to change in real time and prove the forgiveness was real. This
takes practice, patience and perseverance.
The point
that I wanted to bring across is that:
There are
many reasons for why people talk shit about one another. None of these reasons
are valid. However, we haven't been taught to handle situations and we haven't
been supported to develop effective communication with ourselves and others.
Therefore, gossiping exists - showing that something inside of self is lacking
and require additional support. As long as we react to others' gossiping or
even to our own mind gossiping, we are unable to support neither ourselves nor
others.
In my
next blog, I will talk more about why it is important to stop the reactions
towards another person talking about you and how to take the 'negative'
experience and transform it to a life lesson from which you can empower
yourself from.
--
Art: gossip girls by dian bernardo
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