For
context, please read:
This will
be the last blog post in the series: "Do I have the right to judge
myself" where we were looking at the potential consequences that may
emerge with us accepting and allowing self-judgement to exists inside ourselves
and how to transform the self-judgement to self-honesty in the sense of who you
are, what you stand for and what you will and will not accept and allow in your
reality.
In this
blog thus, we will have a look at the relationship between self-judgement,
self-honesty and the experience of wanting to run away? Why Self-honesty is the
key to stop the experience of running away and how it will lead to worthwhile
relationships with yourself and with your friends/partner/family.
As we
previously discussed, sometimes the intensity of self-judgement will lead to
the experience of wanting to run away from our environment. Mostly because we feel
controlled by the environment and unable to express ourselves without the fear
of being judged. Now, I do not need to tell you the risks involved in
running away do I?
But this
is not so much the consequences that I am referring to. The point that I do
want to discuss in this blog post is why reaching your self-honesty can stop
the experience of wanting to run away. It is actually a simple point to realize
- unless you are clear about who you are and what you stand for, you will find
yourself in situations of wanting to run away from one environment to another;
always feeling controlled, misjudged and looked down at by your external
environment. The moment you are clear and honest about who you are, what you
want to create in this life, what you stand for and what you do not,
self-judgement will not hold you prisoned in your own environment as you stand
as a point of direction and creation no matter where you are and with whom you
are.
See, it
is never the environment we want to run away from - it is our mind that we want
to run away from. Sure, the environment activates the mind programs that gives
us the experience of wanting to run away but it is not that the environment
puts a gun on our mind and force the mind to participate in these emotions and
thought patterns - it was and will be us who give the authority for the mind to
take control over our lives and dictate to us who we are.
As
explained in the previous blogs, when we run away and "start over",
we don't really start over - we are simply supressing the unresolved issues
that we have with ourselves (self-judgement for different reasons) and these
issues will surface at some stage in the new environment we are with - It will
slowly build up and build up until we experience ourselves wanting to run away
and start over again.
The
solution is to reach a point of self-honesty as challenging as it may be. We'll
have to take off the layers of self-judgement, morality, fears, cultural
behaviour and so forth and replace it with your life principles that we stand
by and as an expression of ourselves. This can take some time but sure is
liberating when moving from self-judgement to self-honesty.
Why
self-honesty is the key? When we are self-honest, self-judgement doesn't play a
role. When self-judgement isn't playing a role, we are no longer projecting
blame and judgment towards others, we no longer fear being judged, we no longer
feel controlled by others and we no longer experience ourselves wanting to run
away.
How to
reach a point of self-honesty? For myself, it has been and still is a process.
My support structure is the DIP pro course
that I am participating with both as a trainee and as a buddy. I strongly
recommend having a look and testing the course for yourself. Especially if
building effective relationship with yourself and others is something you
value.
Thanks.
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