Showing posts with label I don't have time. Show all posts
Showing posts with label I don't have time. Show all posts
Nov 16, 2012 | By: A Woman

Jealousy and Frustration - I want the Life they Have - Day 216

This is a continuation to:

 

 

For the purpose of context, suggest reading these posts above prior to reading the post below, if you haven’t already. Here I will be walking the 'I don't have TIME' Character - Reaction Dimension - Practical support with Self Forgiveness and Self Commitments.

 

Reactions Dimension:

* Jealousy

* Frustration

* Irritation

* Anger

* Judgment and Self Judgment

* Impatient

* Self Pity

* Depression

* Anxiety

* Stress

 

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Jealousy

 

259308891016006529_LnW4ukdN_cI forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to access jealousy that I've activated within my participation in the Imagination Dimension and the Backchat dimension where I would compare a specific moment to an ideal in my mind, which I've defined and valued as a Positive Experience and accordingly, become Jealous when the Physical reality is not in alignment to the Ideal Positive Experience.

In this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to Experience Jealousy towards those that according to my mind, having the Ideal Positive Experience that I desire to experience myself. Within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to attempt to diminish/judge/spite those that I'm jealous at to Balance the Negative Experience that I had accepted and allowed myself to create within and as myself, so that I could elevate myself and feel Superior and better than them.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to react in Jealousy when imagining or thinking about what Positive Experiences I could have had if I wouldn't be Busy with that which I am busy with instead of Stop the inner reaction and stand up for a Life where ALL can have Fun, where ALL could Enjoy their time with each other's company, where all have access to Entertainment. Within this, I understand my Responsibility in Making sure such a Life is would exists for everyone and thus, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to consider only myself, within a Jealousy reaction, not realizing that when I'm busy with being jealous in stead of directing myself to the best of my effectiveness, I'm prolonging the Existential process as I've wasted my time in being in my mind, instead of walking as an expression of myself, as self movement, towards the establishment of a world that is best for all.

 

I thus commit myself to assist and support myself to stop any Jealousy reactions within and as me as I see, realize and understand that accepting and allowing Jealousy to exists within me, not only I sabotage and compromise myself but also, prolonging the Collective Correction Process as a whole because unless I stand absolute stable within who I am as an expression of myself and unless I practically correct and change my Living application, there is no way I could stand as a pillar of support, as an Example that a change is possible in us standing together, correcting ourselves and this world as a whole.

 

Frustration

Melinda-Konya-1-7I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to react in Frustration when looking at all the things that I must get done within the thought: "I would never get everything done", not seeing, realizing and understanding that in any moment I accept and allow myself to access an emotional reaction, it is a moment I've wasted and haven't walked in stability, in breath, to practically apply that which needs to be applied.

 

I thus, Commit myself to NOT accept and allow myself to participate in Frustration, I rather assist and support myself in taking a breath in, a breath out, stabilizing within who I am, in my own physical body, re-establish my starting point within and as myself, to stand in alignment as the principle of that which is best for all as I see, realize and understand that accepting and allowing frustration to exists within and as me, indicate that my starting point isn't absolutely clear and I thus, must re-investigate the point, see what I've missed, where did I not sort out myself yet and accordingly, walk the correction process within and as myself.

Nov 15, 2012 | By: A Woman

From the Bossy to the Loser - Day 215

This is a continuation to:

The Elite's delusion of stress - Part 1 - Day 45

The REAL Fear - Day 192

The Elite's Delusion of Stress - Part 2 - Day 46

The things we Won't tell ANYONE - Day 193

The Decision of TIME - Day 67

Missing out on the Good Life - Day 194

The Decision of TIME - Day 67

Let's have some Fun - Day 195

Copy Paste Character - The Education System - Day 184

Stupidity Loop - Jumping from the Bad to the Good to the Bad - Day 196

Is it possible to Cheat yourself? Day 185

The Smoke Screen of Ignorance - Day 197

It is time to STOP Existing as a Human Machine - Day 186

Leaving in a Dream - Day 208

The End of Times - Day 187

Having the Life Style you always dreamt to have - Day 209

Facing the Evil within - the KEY to LIFE - Day 188

IT is MY time Now - don't say a word - Day 210

Fear of Disappointing others - Day 189

Let's go on Vacation - Day 211

The Psychology of TIME - Day 190

Comparison is a Bitch - Day 212

I Regret, therefor, I'm a Good Person. NOT!!! - Day 191

Damn, I will never have everything done - Day 213

 

Standing as an Example - Self Interest or Self Realization? - Day 214

 

118078821450271719_WgRaR9GQ_cFor the purpose of context, suggest reading these posts above prior to reading the post below, if you haven’t already. Here I will be walking the 'I don't have TIME' Character - Internal Conversation/ back chat Dimension - Practical support with Self Forgiveness and Self Commitments.

 

Here, one must understand that the Back chat, are the source of all Evil wherein, what one accepting and allowing within oneself, within the belief that no one will ever find out, is nasty and evil shit. Therefor, I will be walking back chat by back chat, in making sure I purify myself from the Evil that I've accepted and allowed within myself, in the context of the ' I don't have Time' Character.

 

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Look at X - X is working much harder then me, X is studying, working, walking the responsibilities X committed to, sleeping for 2-3 hours - if X can do it, I must do it and stop complaining.

 

Within this backchat my starting point is still in comparison that was activated within a reaction towards the idea/opinion that I don't have enough time. Thus, instead of utilizing X as an Example and within that reminding myself that there is an example that I can learn from and perfect myself to stand as Equal to this being, I participated in this backchat from the starting point of calming myself down, after a series of previous backchat that were more self destructive in nature.

 

As I've mentioned in my Previous blog - Standing as an example doesn't mean standing as more or less than anyone else, standing as an example is a self expression within the realization of: This is who I am, this is why I am here and this is how I decide to walk my life in assisting and support myself as others within the principle of Give as You would Like to Receive and as I received the Gift of having people in my Life that are standing as an example of what I could be and become, I make the decision for and as myself to walk my Own process in becoming that which I can become and so, as I walk my process, I'm Giving that which I received by standing as Example as an expression of myself.

 

114912227962929884_Nm9Z12fs_bI forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to believe that having a backchat within the nature of calming self down is Valid and within that, haven't realized how I've manipulated myself within the belief that calming myself down through Thoughts is supportive and accordingly haven't investigated the nature of the backchat, what is behind the backchat and what is the backchat imply regarding to who I am within that moment. I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that calming myself down with thoughts is still done within a reaction and not in complete and absolute self movement of seeing what I have accepted and allowed myself to participate with and to accordingly, as I see, realize and understand the point, moving through this, bring myself here, BREATHE and keep on going. 

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to compare myself to a being that I perceive to be better than me, as a motivator Key to how I would move and direct myself through Thoughts within and as myself, not seeing, realizing and understanding that this being is simply an example of self movement that shows me that once a decision is made in absolute self honesty and clarity, self is effective within and as oneself which reflect in what one do, as an expression of who one is.

 

In this, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see the starting point within having a comparative back chat within and as myself and its relationship to the Diminishment character that I've created within and as myself wherein, I've Utilized a comparison point to "Remind" myself how I'm not good enough because there are others who are better than me and thus, I must not complain and simply do the work. In that, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see how through calming myself down in such away, through suppressing the 'I don't have time' Character, I had Shifted to the 'Diminishment Character' instead of assisting and supporting myself in standing within and as myself, so absolute and directive, in letting all of this Go, Breathe and move on.

 

A suggested reading to clarify the relationship between comparison and self diminishment:

The Self Diminishment Character - Day 94

They are Better than me, I'm so fucked up - Day 95

Taking responsibility for my creation - Day 96

 

" I don't understand how Y is doing what she is doing; I mean seriously, she is like a super woman.

What the fuck is wrong with me? why can't I simply apply myself breath by breath and have things done? Why I'm always complaining and blaming and being jealous.

 

What is "Wrong" with me is now the 'Diminishment' Character in full action that I had accepted and allowed myself to access to and give all my power away. So here, Despite of me noticing within and as myself that I compare, and complain, and blame and all of it through Jealousy, I still accept and allow this energy, this possessed entity to exists within and as me.

 

88101736431740622_wjX5RU1o_bSo, being so all mighty in my Previous back that that was discussed in Standing as an Example - Self Interest or Self Realization? - Day 214, to comparing myself to X, I slowly but surely went from the Polarity of being superior towards those that I've diminished in my mind, those that I had defined as ineffective in comparison to my "effectiveness", I now went into the other polarity, seeing my ineffectiveness in comparison to X and then I conclude that I'm worthless through the comparison to Y - that is how the Diminishment Character works and functions which I again suggest reading (Day 94-96)

 

I Commit myself to assist and support myself to STOP bouncing from one character to the other through NOT accepting and allowing myself any backchat whatsoever within and as my mind. I understand that it is going to take a process of Breath Accumulation and so, I commit myself to Remain Humble within and as myself, to not accept and allow myself to judge and be hard on myself and to simply, walk the layers of the mind, as it reveal itself, slowly but Surely.

 

I Commit myself to establish Self Respect within and as myself and to stop Diminishing myself and others within and as my mind as I see, realize and understand the Evil that exists within and as the Diminishment of others and I now walk the correction, Stop Comparing, competing, judging and spiting other people and myself, within and as my mind. Thus, When and as I see a backchat comes up, where I compare, judge, diminish and spite myself and others, I stop, I breathe, Delete and move on. I see, realize and understand that temptation would come and it is up to me to decide, in any given moment of breath whether I respect myself and others in self honesty, or whether I accept and allow the Evil nature of me to take over in absolute possession and so - I commit myself to assist and support myself to Decide, over and over and over again, to stand as Life until I no longer require to remind myself as I'm the living expression of Life that is best for all.

 

 

 

 

 

Nov 14, 2012 | By: A Woman

Standing as an Example - Self Interest or Self Realization? - Day 214

This is a continuation to:

The Elite's delusion of stress - Part 1 - Day 45

The REAL Fear - Day 192

The Elite's Delusion of Stress - Part 2 - Day 46

The things we Won't tell ANYONE - Day 193

The Decision of TIME - Day 67

Missing out on the Good Life - Day 194

The Decision of TIME - Day 67

Let's have some Fun - Day 195

Copy Paste Character - The Education System - Day 184

Stupidity Loop - Jumping from the Bad to the Good to the Bad - Day 196

Is it possible to Cheat yourself? Day 185

The Smoke Screen of Ignorance - Day 197

It is time to STOP Existing as a Human Machine - Day 186

Leaving in a Dream - Day 208

The End of Times - Day 187

Having the Life Style you always dreamt to have - Day 209

Facing the Evil within - the KEY to LIFE - Day 188

IT is MY time Now - don't say a word - Day 210

Fear of Disappointing others - Day 189

Let's go on Vacation - Day 211

The Psychology of TIME - Day 190

Comparison is a Bitch - Day 212

I Regret, therefor, I'm a Good Person. NOT!!! - Day 191

Damn, I will never have everything done - Day 213

 

comical-sense-economic-recovery-8-5x11-pencil-on-paper-2010For the purpose of context, suggest reading these posts above prior to reading the post below, if you haven’t already. Here I will be walking the 'I don't have TIME' Character - Internal Conversation/ back chat Dimension - Practical support with Self Forgiveness and Self Commitments.

 

Here, one must understand that the Back chat, are the source of all Evil wherein, what one accepting and allowing within oneself, within the belief that no one will ever find out, is nasty and evil shit. Therefor, I will be walking back chat by back chat, in making sure I purify myself from the Evil that I've accepted and allowed within myself, in the context of the ' I don't have Time' Character.

 

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Maybe if I stand as an example, others will do what I do as well? And then I'll have more time for myself?

 

Fascinating.. Here, the backchat clearly expose my starting point of and as self interest where the 'Desire' to stand as an example isn't that others could expand and grow themselves through seeing the example that they can be themselves and so, we will TOGETHER walk the correction process and Establish a world that is best for all; The Backchat reveal that my starting point in standing as an example was to satisfied my own self interest desire to work less and apparently, have more time for myself.

 

Thus, here is another example of how dominant the self interest is within and as oneself and where the evilness start to show its face. I mean, I could spend my entire life, beLIEving that I'm assisting and supporting the group and I am thus, a considerate, Positive and good person but this backchat clearly reveals that what drives me isn't yet the principle of that which is best for all but rather the principle of what is best for me, in satisfying my self interest.

 

So what was not yet understood is one's starting point in standing as an example because, if one isn't self honest with oneself, this point of standing as an example can be abused and manipulated to one's self interest.

 

Thus, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to REALize that standing as an example, within and as the principle of what is best for all is: I'm here, this is who I am, this is what I've realized about life that is best for all, this is what I can do to assist and support myself and others in walking the practical application of the principle of that which is best for all. I see, realize and understand that 1+1=2 meaning - I cannot walk the existential correction process alone, it is a humanity responsibility and therefore, I must assist and support others to see, realize and understand who they are, their potential as Life so that we could stand up together and establish a change in this world as I'm walking my own correction/change process.

And as there were others that stood as an example for me, and through them I could see, realize and understand the potential I have in becoming an effective human being in this world, as I could see the space/time path I must walk in perfecting myself as the example of the process they have walked, as a constant reminder that a change is possible if one decides to. Within this, I see, realize and understand that standing as an example wouldn't make me be more or less than anything or anyone else, it is simply a decision to walk breath by breath and walk this process till the last being cross the Line between one's Evilness of the Mind into the Purity of the Physical as Life

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to desire standing as an example within the belief and the desire that I'll be placed in a position of being more than others and therefor, I can now do less work and utilize the time that I have here on earth to enjoy myself and satisfied my self interest needs. In this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to NOT realize that my purpose and reasons to walk this process thus far was from a self interest starting point within the belief that this is the way I can make a change in this world and be glorified as the pioneer that plough the way before humanity for a world that is best for all and therefor, be worshiped and defined as the saviour of humanity as I walked the path that no one had walked before, despite the difficulties, the obstacles and resistances that was part of the initial path/journey. Thus, I commit myself to bring myself back here, to earth, to the physical and to stop the ridiculousness of my mind, in trying to be MORE than who I really am.

I commit myself to change my starting point from self interest inner evil from the inside and good at the outside to a starting point of Physical Equality and oneness as that which is best for all and thus, assist and support myself in stepping out of the evilness of the mind and access the purity of the Physical as Life.

Nov 13, 2012 | By: A Woman

Damn, I will never have everything done - Day 213

 

This is a continuation to:

The Elite's delusion of stress - Part 1 - Day 45

 

The Elite's Delusion of Stress - Part 2 - Day 46

The REAL Fear - Day 192

The Decision of TIME - Day 67

The things we Won't tell ANYONE - Day 193

The Decision of TIME - Day 67

Missing out on the Good Life - Day 194

Copy Paste Character - The Education System - Day 184

Let's have some Fun - Day 195

Is it possible to Cheat yourself? Day 185

Stupidity Loop - Jumping from the Bad to the Good to the Bad - Day 196

It is time to STOP Existing as a Human Machine - Day 186

The Smoke Screen of Ignorance - Day 197

The End of Times - Day 187

Leaving in a Dream - Day 208

Facing the Evil within - the KEY to LIFE - Day 188

Having the Life Style you always dreamt to have - Day 209

Fear of Disappointing others - Day 189

IT is MY time Now - don't say a word - Day 210

The Psychology of TIME - Day 190

Let's go on Vacation - Day 211

Comparison is a Bitch - Day 212

Comparison is a Bitch - Day 212

 

hereFor the purpose of context, suggest reading these posts above prior to reading the post below, if you haven’t already. Here I will be walking the 'I don't have TIME' Character - Internal Conversation/ back chat Dimension - Practical support with Self Forgiveness and Self Commitments.

 

Here, one must understand that the Back chat, are the source of all Evil wherein, what one accepting and allowing within oneself, within the belief that no one will ever find out, is nasty and evil shit. Therefor, I will be walking back chat by back chat, in making sure I purify myself from the Evil that I've accepted and allowed within myself, in the context of the ' I don't have Time' Character.

 

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Damn, I will never have everything done.

 

Obviously not, how can I have everything done when I'm so preoccupied in my mind? How is it that I have time to participate in thoughts and imaginations but I don't have a sufficient time to walk in practicality, everything that needs to be done? That is an interesting question that all must inquire within and as themselves.

 

Within this backchat, what needs to be considered, investigated and looked at is 'Priorities' and when I was looking within and as myself, the only thing that separate me from 'Having everything done' is my own Desire and the Value that I gave to my Desires and within that, trying to manipulate myself, to be able to justify, why I have decided to not have everything that needs to be done within giving in and following my self interest desires.

 

Also a point to look at is that - what separate me with having things done is the very statement that there is Me, and there are things that needs to be done, as if it is 2 separate entities and what was not yet considered, realized and understood is the Interdependent relationship that this world is consisting of and existing as which then thus, there is not Me, as how I have defined myself within my mind, and 'things that needs to be done' in separation - what is Real is me, as Who I am, within what I do, in walking breath by breath by breath and in every step, direct myself according to the principle of what is best for all however, as long as I am in my mind, scheming for short cuts, having back chats, separating myself from what I do as if it is an entity that I must now achieve.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to believe that things needs to be done, in separation of me, not seeing, realizing and understanding that there is nothing in separation of me that needs to be done, it is simply being Here, in absolute awareness, Breathing and directing myself according to a principle, step by step.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to NOT see and realize that the reason why I have created 2 separate entities - Me, and things that needs to be done, implies, that my starting point within the decision that I've made was not clear and absolute and therefor, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that when I experience overload, and stress to have things done, it is just an Experience that I've created within my mind and I have not realized that there is so much that can be done in every moment of breath and so, I must direct myself in every moment of breath to do what I do, as who I am, in ease, with no effort and as an expression of Who I am, as what I have decided to do in a specific and particular moment within self honesty, responsibility and realization that I'm here, and there is always things that needs to be done which I am able to walk to the best of my ability, capability in making the most out of it, as an expression of myself.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to NOT investigate what triggered and activated the thought: "Damn, I will never have everything done" and within that, had accepted and allowed myself to continue the thought within a Negative Energy Experience as an expression of what I've accepted and allowed myself in that moment to become, in separation of myself. In this, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that the starting point of having such thought indicate, that what ever I'm doing, I haven't done for myself, as myself, within realizing my own self responsibility in walking breath by breath to the utmost of my potential.

 

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that the very statement of: "Damn, I will never have everything done" is entirely not true because eventually, what ever I'm working on will be done as a decision that I've made to walk a specific point until it's done. And thus, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to consider that maybe, the time frame that I've calculated for a specific task wasn't in alignment to the physical space/time reality and therefor, I can learn from my mistake and make sure that next time, my time estimation would be correct and in alignment to the physical space/time reality.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to desire being validated within what I do and therefor, when not having things done, my entire self definition would be compromise and threaten and in this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to priorities my self definition as a desire before the principle of that which is best for all because my starting point was to satisfied my desire to be validated through what I do and not walking as an expression of myself within what I do as a self realization that: This is who I am, this is why I am here, that needs to be done and therefor, I walk.

 

I commit myself to remind myself that there is so much that one can do in every single breath and therefor, thinking about 'not having things done' and feeling stress about that, won't make anything magically done but quite to the contrary, all I am accepting and allowing when and as I participate with such a thought is to waste my time in compromising myself and my effectiveness within what I do as Who  I am. Thus, when and as I see that practically, I won't be able to have things done within a time frame that I've set forth to myself, I take a breath, I assess and check how can I practically walk this point and simply walk it, with no effort, no stress, breath by breath.

 

I commit myself to SHOW that having such a thought as: "Damn, I will never have everything done", won't make things done but to the contrary - having any thought, will only prolong the process and would compromise and sabotage self and the relationship self has with oneself and others in this world.
 

I commit myself to consider all points when making a decision so that my decision would be informed and practical in application and within that, to be humble and patient with myself that whether the time that I've calculate for a specific task isn't in alignment to the physical space/time reality, I learn from my mistake and align myself accordingly and so - expand and grow myself instead of diminish, sabotage and compromise myself within having a thought such as: "Damn, I will never have everything done" that is in no way supportive or practical in anyway whatsoever.