Anger Management: Don't bottle up your anger! - Day 526

It is a known fact that unresolved emotions and feeling can affect and compromise our physical body. Yet, many of us refuse to acknowledge this fact and thus allow ourselves to continue bottling up with massive anger, hatred, blame, judgement and so forth.

It is also a known fact that Anger and similar intense emotions can sabotage our relationships with our loved ones, threaten our career and our social life as a whole. Yet, most of us will not step back for a moment and really investigate the core cause of our anger and other intensified emotions.

In the last couple of years, we hear more and more about 'Anger management' programs.

"Anger management is a procedure of acquiring the skills to recognize signs that you are becoming angry, and taking action to deal with the situation in a positive way. In no way does anger management mean holding the anger in or trying to keep from feeling anger. Anger is a normal human emotion, a healthy one when it is expressed appropriately. "

Medical News Today : Your source for health news since 2003. www.medicalnewstoday.com

"(psychology) techniques or exercises used to control or reduce feelings and the expression of anger"

Collins English Dictionary - http://www.collinsdictionary.com/dictionary/english/anger-management

"Anger management is the process of learning to recognize signs that you're becoming angry, and taking action to calm down and deal with the situation in a positive way. Anger management doesn't try to keep you from feeling anger or encourage you to hold it in. Anger is a normal, healthy emotion when you know how to express it appropriately — anger management is about learning how to do this."

Mayo Clinic - http://www.mayoclinic.org/

It is fascinating to see how our professional society defines Anger as 'healthy' or 'normal human emotion' and within that validate the existence of anger inside of ourselves.

Shocking news people!!!! anger is not healthy or normal human behaviour. In fact, studies shows that anger can be deadly:

"Anger's physical side effects explain why you frequently see studies about the damage that this emotion can do to our bodies. In one study of almost 13,000 subjects, individuals with the highest levels of anger had twice the risk of coronary artery disease and three times the risk of heart attack, as compared to the subjects with the lowest levels of anger [source: Kam]. Some scientists think that chronic anger may be more dangerous than smoking and obesity as a factor that will contribute to early death [source: Angier]."

Source: http://science.howstuffworks.com/life/inside-the-mind/emotions/anger2.htm

So then, what are the solution for people with anger issues?

Well, as with everything in life, nothing will change unless we each take responsibility for our creation. So as with taking responsibility in acknowledging that anger isn't normal or needed in anyway whatsoever. On a personal level - there is a difference between letting go of anger and manging anger. Managing your anger means that you are still holding on to your anger on the deep level of your mind. Letting go of the anger means that you have sourced the root cause of your anger, you have taken authority inside of yourself to let go of your anger and you have forgiven yourself for participating with anger towards yourself or others. In reality, like with every real process, there isn't a quick fix - changing to a point of being 'free' of anger will take time and personal effort to affect a real change inside of yourself. Manging anger takes care of the symptoms of the problem while acknowledging that anger is valid. Letting unconditionally go of anger is a process that source the root cause, through the layers of the mind to practically affect a real life change.

Where to go next - look for self-help guides that help you source the root cause of your inner anger so that you are able to absolutely let go of anger inside of yourself. A good place to start with is a self-development program called DIP Lite - it is a free online course that teach you the basic tools to understand your mind, both theoretically and practically. 

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Art work - Anger by Gun Legler

Time heals all wounds. Does it really? - Day 517

Some say that time heals all wounds, but I found it to be untrue. When I faced a tough breakup break-up for example, it took me almost 7 years to "heal" while people kept on saying to me that time will make everything ok. And I believed them; I let time to take its course, but the wound was sore and didn't go away. In fact, it just became deeper and in looking back, it negatively influenced many decisions that I made.

 

It wasn't time that healed that wound - It was me, when I made the decision to actively stand up from within myself, take responsibility for my inner reality and with self determination, I walked out of the depression, sadness and fears that were just some of the dimensions that kept the wound active and sore.

 

2 years ago, someone very close to me had died. The experience of him being gone was painful, more than anything that I had faced before. I was grieving, and at many times I found myself crying like it was the end of the world, though I knew that if I would not stand up from within myself, I will find myself in endless agony and the more time I wait, the harder it will become to step out of the misery into practical living.

 

You see, time doesn't heal all wounds, only you can heal yourself by supporting yourself to step up and take responsibility for the experiences that you face inside. I know it can be tough. I know that these experiences are not easy to be walked through. I know what deep emotional turmoil feels like, but I am here today to tell you - you can make the decision to change your inner experiences instead of waiting for time to somehow take the experiences away from you.

 

This blog post is in the honor of this person who died, whom with his living example, supported me and many others in so many ways. If you need support to step out of your emotional turmoil, please visit DIP Lite for free self - support course.

Over Sensitive - Day 458

"A few months ago, a very good friend of mine died unexpectedly and I noticed that since then, I became over sensitive when someone in my immediate environment is injured / sick (either a human or an animal). I also noticed that I'm taking it personally when I am unable to medically support them in specific moments. For most part, it is because I have background in medicine and specifically, first aid, however, not always the injuries are part of my training and I find myself standing helpless if you will, when another is suffering and I can do nothing. What I also noticed is how quickly I go into blame and anger towards the person who had unexpectedly died, for not being here with us to direct such moments because previously it was what he used to do however, this tendency of blaming and being angry at my friend for not being here to support us, basically showing that I haven't yet taken absolute responsibility for my environment, for myself, as I am still looking for solutions outside of myself, in separation of myself.

 

Those that had knew the friend that had died knows that in his presence, one feels safe and stable no matter how things in reality are playing out; this friend could just look at me or place his hand on my shoulder and I was stable however with his death, I had to learn to stabilize myself as I now realize that it was never another that had stabilize myself per say, I was simply shown that it would always be me that could stabilize myself - the look/touch on the shoulder created a space for me to realize this point for myself - that I have the potential to assist and support myself in directing moments by moments to the best of my ability if only I give myself the permission to stand stable within and as myself and look for solutions within myself instead of outside of myself.

 

Well, unfortunately, I could only realize this for myself with another's death - as the other is not here anymore to create the space for me to stabilize myself and within this thus, blaming another or being angry at another for dying, is an abdication of self responsibility because I had already proven to myself that I am able and capable to assist and support myself, for/as myself; "

 

The above writing is something I wrote a few weeks ago when my roommate got injured. She asked me to help her and I couldn't because the injury that she had was not part of my training and trying to help could have made it even worse. I pushed myself as much as possible to remain stable not only for myself but ALSO for my friend. When she was taken to the hospital, I had a momentary mini panic attack as I experienced myself as powerless and so, instead of immediately taking self responsibility, I shifted to the blame and anger I described above.

 

I spent the night investigating and sourcing the starting point of the emotional breakdown I had experienced inside myself, I sounded Self Forgiveness  to assist and support myself as well as preparing the way for if/when another in my immediate environment get injured/sick. What I have seen was that when someone is injured and I don't have the knowledge and/or training to support them immediately, I went into a point of disempowerment within myself, looking for solutions outside of myself as a reaction, instead of simply first stabilize myself, so that I could stabilize my environment and trust myself to find the solutions that would be the best. For instance, it doesn't mean that I must be able to stand as a medical support for everything that is playing out in my environment; but what I am able to do is to look and see what would be the best approach to take in every given moment. I haven't realize that with me reacting to me not being able to medically support another, I am in essence not supporting the other because the best support would be to stand stable, investigate solutions in real time and direct the moment in stability and clarity. To do that, one do not need to have the knowledge/information and/or training - all one needs to do is stand within and as oneself and the solution would present itself.

 

Unfortunately, a few days after, my roommate came to me saying that the injury got worse and she asked me to have a look. This time, I applied the Commitments I have placed for myself for when/as someone in my environment is injured/sick. So I looked at the point, I checked myself to ensure I have no reactions inside myself and once all was clear within myself,  I was able to direct the point. Direct the point meaning - on a medical personal capacity, I couldn't do ANYTHING for my roommate however, within stability, I strongly suggested to her  to go and see a professional practitioner right away as it was obvious that the physical body required support. I again couldn't go with her to the hospital due to other responsibilities I had to attend to however this time, having my commitments in place, I remained stable within myself.

 

I'm grateful for the tools that I have to assist and support myself and my environment - Self Forgiveness to realize what I had accepted and allowed myself to participate with and the Commitment statement to prepare the way before me for a physical and immediate change.

If you haven't already, I suggest familiarize yourself with these tools through the Free Online Beginners course - DIP Lite

 

Thanks.

 

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Art work - Henry Asencio, 1972 ~ Essence of Woman

When a past Memory possess you - Day 432

 A few weeks ago, I was invited to participate in a Zulu Radio show to discuss some issues about Education. While I was sitting in the recording room, 5 min before I was aired, a memory came up and in a matter of a moment, I allowed myself to be possessed by the memory and  the energies this memory was based on and therefore, the consequences were not late to manifest.

 

The memory that came up was from when I was 12 years old or so - I won in a TV game that I played from home and because I was the first one to win the game, I was invited to be interviewed in the TV studio on a LIVE show. In a nutshell, I was petrified from the event and I couldn't handle the experience very well. The thoughts of being on a LIVE TV was overwhelming. During the show, I felt so uncomfortable inside myself that my facial muscles started to twitch and as it happened, self judgment kicked in and I was absolutely embarrassed. I hadn't thought about this memory for years now until it was 5 or less min before I was aired and suddenly, this memory possessed me and all the energy I suppressed for 20 years came up at once and as I was busy with alignments (Self Forgiveness, breathing), it was time for me to start speaking BUT, I wasn't done with my corrective application and so - I started to speak while being possessed with the energy of the past memory.

 

Everything was moving fast, I had 7 min to speak even though the plan was for me to speak for 15 min and therefore, as I was busy with my correction, I was also required to speak and on top of that, to make it in half of the time that I had prepared myself for.

 

I'm grateful that Gian was with me and could support me to stabilize myself. The first thing he had told me after the show was "Stop! Don't say a word". That allowed me to have a moment to investigate what just happened and so I saw the entire play out of how one single memory took over, the moment I missed a breath. With the words: "Stop, don't say a word", I could quickly move from the self judgment mode to a self empowerment application where I realized that: "Ok, so this just happened, it's done, the show cannot be changed; so what can I learn from this event and how I can practically assist and support myself to prevent such events in the future?".

 

The reason why I shared with you this point was to make us all aware of how, we, in a split of a moment, miss a breath and allow a past memory to control and direct our living application. The example I shared here is an apparent example that was visible, noticeable and consequential however, realize and understand that in every moment that we miss a breath, we, in that moment allow past events to control and direct our living application. In many situations, we are not even aware of such memories and how these memories play a role within the words we speak and the actions we take. 

This can be prevented in time, as one walk one's process of self awareness in self honesty and thus I invite you to take the first step to better understanding your mind through the FREE online course - DIP Lite.

 

Thanks

The Mastery of Memories Manipulation - Day 426

A few days ago, Gian and I were talking about Physical Integration and we were looking at ways to explain the concept of 'Physical Integration' to someone who have never heard about it before. So we were playing with the point and Gian asked me to use my imagination and go back to my first driving lesson and so I did - I went back to my first driving lesson and "re-lived" the memory within and as myself.

 

Now, for context - My first driving lesson was in Israel where we drive on the right side of the road and the wheel is at the left side of the car. In the past few years, I've been living in South Africa and here we drive on the left side of the road and the wheel is at the right side of the car.

 

When I accessed the memory of my first driving lesson, a fascinating thing happened - as Gian took me through the time line and I was experienced myself in my first driving lesson, I remembered how my driving teacher in an instant of a moment asked me to change from second to third gear and I could remember the specifics of how I felt insecure because I never done is before and I remembered how I looked at the gear with confusion of "what now?!" and as I was looking at the gear and at my teacher - I realized: "Hey, there is something wrong with this memory" -  I was driving on the left side of the road, the wheel was at the right side of the car and my driving teacher was sitting to my left side.

In that moment when the teacher asked me to change gears and I was looking at the gear and then at him - I was looking at the gear from the right side of the car and then looked at my driving teacher who set to my left. Physically, it is not possible when you drive in Israel.

 

As I've mentioned, the memory was very vivid, even though it was 16 years ago; I believed that I literally accessed the specifics of that moment, what I felt, what I did, how I experienced myself and so forth. I could swear that this was exactly what happened in that moment and yet - it was not; because the positioning of me, the road, the wheel, the gear and the driving teacher were completely opposite to the physical reality where there is absolute certainty that I drove on the right side of the road while sitting on the left side of the car, the gear was to my right as well as the driving teacher.

 

What is showing here is an example of how we unconsciously manipulate our memories. In this specific scenario, I manipulated the memory to fit with my current environment where I adopted the positioning of driving in my memory to how it is done in South Africa.  Fascinating enough, I just checked by accessing the memory of driving for the first time again I still see myself driving the opposite from how I drove in the physical reality.

 

This raise the question - can we really trust our memories? How can we be certain that we haven't manipulate our memories in other instances? How can we be certain that what we remember is what was? How many times we experienced a friction with others because we absolutely believe that we remember something while the other is absolutely convinced that they remember something else?

 

This is a very good example for us to take a moment to revisit our blind belief in our own memories because obviously, the example that I shared here clearly show that there is a manipulation going on within ourselves without us even being aware of it. The next question is - if we cannot trust our own memories, what can we trust? This is a big question with a very simple answer - we can only trust that which is here. What does it practically implies? This will be a blog series by itself…

 

(Physical integration in a nutshell  - when we no longer have to think about what we do but trust our natural ability to do something. So for example - how for instance we didn't know how to drive a car the first time we were taught to drive a car but over the years and with physical repetition of driving, we can now drive home without having to think about all the physical movements we require to do like for example, changing gears, checks the mirrors, push the gas pedal, clutch pedal and so forth - all of that is done by us automatically without a conscious thinking about what we need to do when driving a car)

 

 

 

The sins of the Fathers - Day 425

"Why children don't eat their greens: Survival instinct means youngsters are genetically programmed to avoid plants in case they are poisonous.."

 

"Children who don't eat their vegetables may be using their inherited survival instinct, a study has shown. Dr Annie Wertz and Dr Karen Wynn, both psychologists at America's Yale University, wrote the study on how children behave around plants.."
 

"..They believe this behaviour is progammed into children from birth to avoid them being harmed or poisoned by flowers or plants..."

 

 

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2508292/Why-children-dont-eat-greens-Survival-instinct-means-youngsters-genetically-programmed-avoid-plants-case-poisonous.html

 

I found this article fascinating because it is one step into the recognition that we are genetically preprogramed to make unconscious decisions regarding what we like, what we dislike, who we are, how we behave, our personality and so forth. It seems that it is easy to conceptualize a small point such as the love/hate relationship to vegetable, fruits and plants but it is quiet a different story when we take this point one step further within the question - Who we are then?

Is all I am is preprogram human robot? Am I living the Sins of the fathers without my awareness? Is my personality was predetermine by my genetic preprogramming?

 

There is a enormous resistance to even consider that who we are is nothing but a result of a predetermine programming which we had no free choice within. It is 'ok' as long we are talking about our relationship to fruits/vegetable/plants but when we dare to question all that we like or dislike, our behavior, our mind, ourselves, we tend to put our heads in the ground to forget that this question (thought) even crossed our mind.

 

But, if what we like to eat and what we don't like to eat is determine by genetic preprogramming, is it not that every single decision we made without our complete and absolute awareness, implies that the decision was predetermine/preprogrammed and we are just sitting on the back sit of our mind?

 

If we then carry the sins of our fathers within our genetic preloaded design, what chance do we really have? Meaning, if we look at the History, we might define ourselves as evolved human beings but in reality, our world is becoming more and more chaotic and within the concept of carrying the sins of the father on a genetic physical level, our children will automatically continue to walk our path which we can already see, leads to a total madness, destruction and eradication of this planet.

 

So, it starts with the realization that the fruits/vegetable/plants we like/dislike is predetermine by our genetic programming. It continues with the willing to take a closer look at each and every aspect of our mind, to investigate who and what we have become as preprogrammed/predetermine genetic organic robot and it ends with taking responsibility for what we have become to stop the cycle of ignorance both within as without.

 

Investigate DIP Lite (FREE) to get the basic understanding of the preprogramming and dare to question what was shared in this blog. You might be surprise if you dare to self honestly look.

 

 

Learning to Accept myself - Day 410

Throughout my life, I felt that I'm not accepted by others. 

I have a memory of my mother taking me to the mirror and asking me to look at myself and accept myself; 

she asked - why can you not see what I see in you.

 Here there are 2 interesting dimensions:

1. That day, when I looked at the mirror, I didn't like what I saw because what I saw is a fake human being with multiple personalities so that I could maintain and sustain the relationships in my life. I felt like a chameleon that played a specific role that would suit best for each of my social groups and some of these roles I despised.
2. When this memory came up, I placed myself again in front of the mirror and looked in self honesty at the girl in the mirror that my mother showed me long time ago, maybe 20 years ago, and what I saw is a fearful girl that is so afraid of being judged by others that she had to eliminate herself and her natural expression for the sake of being accepted by others because so long as she couldn't receive the outside acceptance, she couldn't accept herself. The interesting thing is that this girl, is me and how I lived my life thus far.

My life started at age 7 when we moved to another neighborhood. I don't have many memories from before age 7, I don't remember the nature of my relationships and who I was within these relationships. The relationships didn't mean much to me and I didn't feel sad when we moved and I left my friends. My best friend at that time was my cousin which we still hang out together after I moved so I didn't experience any loss when we moved to the new place.

At age 7, I started school and started to build new relationships. I was told that there is a girl that I should be friends with because our parents know each other and she just moved to the building next to ours. We were placed in the same class and slowly but surely became best friends. Every Tuesday I went to her house after school because my mother had to work late while my grandmother was taking care of my baby sister. One day, I heard her speaking on the phone with her father and she said to him: "Maya's grandmother is home and she (Maya) is still here". The way she said it sounded like she didn't want me there and I took it extremely personally. I felt betrayed, I felt unaccepted and so I left her house and didn't speak with her for weeks. Our parents intervened after a while and made us connect and become friends again. Though within me, I knew it was a bad idea and that I was better off without her in my life because around her, I couldn't be me, I feared standing up because she was very dominant and she would always speak down at others if someone had the courage to say something to her that she didn't like. I feared that she would gossip with others about me and take with her all our friends and because of that I feared that unless I stick by her side, I will be a social outcast.

For example, at some stage, we were a group of 10 girls namely "The 10". "The 10" used to meet every Friday night at one of the girl's house and we would sit in a circle and each one, in turn, would express what she saw within the girl(s) that she didn't like. It sounds supportive, but in reality it was not. No-one said anything towards my best friend, but only towards the other girls and when it was the turn of my best friend to speak, she would diminish us, she would take us down, she humiliated us and I believed that it was my job as her best friend to back her up and so, at some stage, I became her follower and would be as nasty as she was towards my other friends. Years later I apologized to one specific friend for what I have done to her, but the interesting thing is that I didn't forgive myself for what I have accepted and allowed myself to do unto her.

In my mind I schemed a plan to go to a different High-School so that I could finally be free from this relationship. Here I'm talking about 6 years before high school that I made this plan in my mind, because I didn't have the courage to stand up and show what the other is accepting and allowing themselves to do onto others. Even worse, I became that which I didn't like in her because I feared to be a social outcast and so, my self-interest dominated any common sense and within that, I didn't consider the lives of others and how my actions would impact them. Making long story long - after 9 years of destructive relationships, I moved to a different high school  and slowly but surely, as I expected, our relationship faded away without me having to put my foot down and say to her – “stop your shit now”. And not only to her, but me taking responsibility for who I accepted and allowed myself to be/become and essentially also say to myself “stop your shit now”.

Obviously, I didn't want to create any close relationships with anyone ever again so that I won't feel suffocated and controlled like I felt for 9 long years. I was so used to living within a state of self-diminishment, self-disrespect and fear of other people and thus, the relationships that could have been supportive for me, I ran away from the moment it became too intense where I would feel suffocated and the relationships I did maintain were the relationships that are superficial and unsupportive.

Within it all - in a way, I lost myself from the perspective of not being able to accept myself, I couldn't let go of my past and the judgment I had towards myself, I couldn't move forward and develop supportive relationships and without consciously understanding the design. I could only accept and validate myself through those who I perceived as more than me, better than me.

Going back to the girl in the mirror - the chameleon that I didn't like was the part of me that kept the relationships superficial as a point of protection mechanism; I didn't like the things I had to do to be able to be accepted, I didn't like my behavior, I didn't like that I couldn't express myself as freely as I would have done secretly when I was alone; I didn't like the judgment I have towards myself. But at the same time, didn't have the tools to support myself to stop participating in my own path of self-diminishment. I didn't like the constant fear I felt within myself, fear of being judged and not being accepted by others. I didn't see a way out.

One day, I met this guy; I met him in a very depressive phase of my life – when I was in a deep sadness within myself. Most people couldn't see the sadness in me. Actually no one but my mother was able to see it because over the years, I developed acting skills to hide myself from what was going on inside me. But this guy also noticed the sadness and he was very upfront about it. He didn't know me at all and came to sit next to me and asked me why the hell I am sad. I resisted him of course and acted like a total bitch towards him, though he was persistent. After a few weeks, it happened that we met again and we had a long talk, a talk that lasted for 6 months where the sadness inside me was suppressed, until we broke up.

When I investigated the point, I went back to the moment where he unexpectedly broke up with me and within that, I found a fascinating point. The day before we broke up, it was the first time within our relationship that I said - 'No more, I'm not accepting this shit' that he did and I stood up and communicated the point with him - it was our first fight, and the last. The next day he broke up with me within the everlasting statement: "it is not you, it is me - you do not deserve me". It was the worst day of my life and this day lasted for a few years of hidden depression.

The point that I want to discuss today was what I have done within my mind, how I have sabotaged myself since that day, how I compromised myself and how this point had contributed to the feeling of not being accepted by others.

Throughout my relationship with that guy, I did everything possible to please him; I never said anything that could have compromised the relationship. I feared confrontations, I feared that it would lead to a break up and so, my worst fear had manifested the moment I stood up for the first time within our relationship. I deliberately made myself smaller than him so that he could feel that he is more, that he is my savior; I allowed him to disrespect or more specifically to not consider me around other people because I feared that if I say anything, he would choose his friends over me. This is the very same designed I have  allowed back down the line with my childhood best friend. This relationship was not supportive in any way though I couldn't see it because I was so "in love" with the idea of us being together and that I finally found my one - the one who could make me feel alive again. The one who I can freely express myself with.

 

When the relationship ended, what was dominant was the repeating thought - "If only I didn’t stand up that day and go along with that which he was doing". If only I didn’t stand up - was the key for how I have sabotaged myself all these years because what I did within my mind was looking at this one point of standing up=breaking up. In my mind, I took this one moment of standing up and I made this moment invalid as if that was the point that led to the fall of our  relationship. I judged and blamed myself for doing it as if I was the cause for my own depression because I did it to myself, I ruined the relationship and it was all my fault. Not seeing/realizing/understanding how ALL of that was a belief – because, it wasn’t that moment of standing up that defined the break-up for the relationship; the relationship was dysfunctional from the start. So, it was interesting looking back at that moment – how I took that ONE POINT of standing up and blamed myself for breaking up the relationship – lol, not taking ALL things into consideration / the ENTIRE relationship into consideration. Fascinating what we do to ourselves in our minds when we look at things in self judgment – instead of commonsense investigation. I haven't till a few days ago looked at the entire design of how and why I accepted and allowed a dysfunctional relationships to even exist within my life without me directing the relationship effectively as a foundation of support from which we can expand, grow and empower ourselves.

The design through which I have lived as - I cannot accept myself without others accepting me first. The only way others can accept me is if I diminish myself for them to feel good about themselves. Now, every time there is a conflict within a relationship I have with another, one of 2 things can happen -

1. I will disappear from their life and never look back.
2. I will diminish myself and not speak up so that the point can fade away and everything can be "ok" again while still holding on a grudge, judgment and blame.

Within it all, what I have not considered is that supportive relationships can only work in reverse to how I lived relationships - it is only through communication, self-responsibility and self-honesty that a relationship can stand as a foundation of support. It is only through unconditional letting go of self interest within the principle of Give as You would like to Receive that the relationship that is trustworthy could be developed.

It is only through me, allowing myself to be vulnerable and letting go of the inner control I have set forth as a protection mechanism that I can allow another to get to know me. It is only through self support that I can stand as a support for another. It is only through self acceptance that I can create a supportive relationship with myself first- accepting the little girl that I saw in the mirror and stop resisting her and so, through accepting her as equal part of who I have become is the key from which I can correct and change that which I didn't accept in that girl that is me. It is only through accepting me that I can stop judging me and instead of reacting to myself in judgment, to investigate all aspects of myself and practically correct myself. It is time to constructively support myself and transform the self judgment, the inner belief that I'm not worthy to a point of absolute self acceptance within the trust that I'm here, a pillar of my own support in standing as a living expression of Life that is best for all.

Why do we wait till it's too late? - Day 409

When someone close to you unexpectedly died, the thought: "but why now? There is so much more we could have done together" is popping up in one's mind.
When looking at the nature of the thought I saw a fascinating design -

How many moments we spend with each other and take it for granted; how many times we spend a moment with another but can't wait till the moment to end so we can go and do something else that may or may not give us more pleasure; How many times we are in the company of another but at the same time, judge them; how many times we have actually embarrass the moment we share with another, actually being 'here' with another, actually care and unconditionally were interested in the expression of the other?

We take the moments we have on this earth recklessly within the starting point of what would I gain from this moment, how can this moment play out in the best outcome for me? And then, when suddenly someone is dead, all of a sudden we feel sad, feel that we didn't spend enough time with that person, that we miss the person and we say to ourselves that if we had known this person is going to die, we would have done thing differently. But would we really?

Are we really walking moment by moment to its utmost potential? Are we really caring and cherishing each other? Do we really care about the person that had died or we care about what the person could have given us that we believe we cannot give to ourselves?

Why is it that we only wake up when it is too late; that we can only stand when another falls; that we can only change if something terrible is happening. Why can we not just change as a principle of What is best for all life?

As above as Below - the same principle persists not only when someone close to use dying, it is also our attitude towards this world/earth as a whole - Why are we waiting for the world to reach the point of no return when we know that when we reach that point it is absolute, is it like death, there is really no return.

It is time to do some house-check or mind-check, if you will, and unconditionally investigate what stops us from standing up by principle of that which is best for all life and practically change? What fears comes up, what thoughts comes up, what is it inside us through which we accept and allow the diminishment of ourselves and thus this world? Why do we live in constant regret upon the things that we could have done instead of simply correct, align and change that which needs to be changed?

So it is now the time to understand that regret is not valid; that regret doesn't make us good people; regret won't change the living conditions of us all; what is valid is a decision to STOP participating with our own self interest designs and to instead truly and self honestly question ourselves and this world so that we can individually and collectively make the decision to walk moment by moment as Life that is best for all, as a living expression of ourselves.

So, if you have made the decision to stop your process of diminishment and to instead walk your process to stand as a living expression as life that is best for all, check out the DIP Lite FREE online course and the Living Income Guaranteed and in that, supporting yourself and thus, us all.

Do you want more? - Day 405

"I want, I Desire, I must have it, I want to have something , I want to be something and once I be that something I would be defined as so special and adored and have this power and I could be in control my of life for once and for all"

Who haven't had these thoughts at some stage of their life? Who still have these thoughts in their mind? Probably most of us - it is the inherited design to always want More without ever actually realizing  and understanding what 'More' actually entails.

It is interesting that we normally do not question and/or investigate the origin of this 'want' and so randomly create alternative realities within our mind, scheming the path to get us to the imaginary 'want' - how it would make us feel, how would others react to us, how would others see us while all along we are missing a fundamental and critical point - are we living  only for others to be able to define us and to decide who we are? If so - is that the life we really want for ourselves nevertheless for others?

So then, when we get what we wanted or at least close enough to what we have imagined, the moment the energized excitement fades off, we realize that having or being that something or someone isn't a garden of roses as we have expected it to be. Then we realize - OMG -  we haven't considered the consequences though now it is too late - it's here and it must be faced. And so - we stand in ambivalence position where we have positive and negative attachments to the 'original want' but a decision must be made - to either realign our starting point and stand accountable for what we have created as the result of our past 1+1=2 decisions and accordingly take responsibility or - to take the easy way out and follow the little bits of positivity we've got left, make a U-turn and… start the cycle again.

So now that we have realized that what we believed we wanted isn't really what we wanted because come 'on we don't want to be responsible and accountable if we don't have to but we still want the power, the control and the validation from others and so, we create a new alternative reality in our mind and walking towards the new 'want' within the hope that this time, everything will work out just fine and all our desires would be fulfilled. One day we wake up and realize that ooops, problem, this is not what we have signed up for; our life is nothing close to what we wanted it to be and again, we face the consequence which are normally not a fun ride but regardless we would still decide to do whatever is best for us with the little positivity we've got left to energized ourselves forward while missing the window of opportunity to change and actually take a moment to investigate all things. Nope, we immediately start creating another cycle to yet again, get to the same point without ever realizing what we are doing. What is even worse is that we accept it as if it is ok.

We justify ourselves by saying that we don't know what is best for all, we don't know what is our role within it all, that we don't know what we are able and capable of doing but what we really haven't established is self-integrity and self-honesty because within that, there is no space to "not knowing" there is only a space to will ourselves to correct, align, change, walk. Done.

So it is defiantly interesting design to investigate and remove because certainly, it is not supporting anyone. We are functioning as self-interested units without understanding that each unit is a part of interconnected relationship that creates this world. While what should have been a working together scenario to enhance one another we evolved to human beings that are not able to assess all things, take responsibility and stand accountable for our words and actions but instead, shifting responsibility in a constant journey to fulfil our very own desires on the expanse of others.

Let's not wait until it is too late.

Propaganda - Full North-Korean Documentary - Day 393

If you haven't already, I suggest taking the time to watch the Propaganda - Full North-Korean Documentary.

 

 

We can not see what we already are; we can not see what we have become; It is a physical evidence - if we were to see, we would have already do something to change our current way of living.

For instance - You know how it is so easy to give someone an advise but how difficult it is for us to apply our own advise? Or how difficult it is for us to see that we are walking towards destructive path but when another is walking that path, we can see it is not the best for them.

 

This documentary that was done by the North Korean describe what we, the westerns, are not able to see for ourselves because we are too far gone within our own consumer brainwashed minds. The very same mind that would allow the abuse in this world to continue for the benefits of our own comfort zones that we can financed in one way or another. The very same mind that have given up long time ago on Principles of Equality and Love your neighbours as yourself. The very same mind that is a product of PR forces that were deliberately design to keep us captive within ourselves so that we would never question and system and guess what - it worked - none of us is questioning the system for real but only through our self interest point of views.

 

This documentary may most likely be faced with resistances and reactions by most of us western people but I Dare you to take a moment and watch this thing as it is one of the first steps of understanding what is really going on inside ourselves - it is real well done eyes openers. If you dare to walk the second step, I would suggest here to expand your understanding with watching the Century of the Self and if you were able to stay tuned throughout all of this - you are ready to start taking responsibility for your own mind, your own automated behaviour and beliefs about yourself and from there, to truly support yourself to step out of the box (Mind) and start walking the correction process to become a pillar in this world by example of your actions and deeds. So when you are ready for your third step, join us to on the Free online course - DIP Lite - where you, as the Answer, start your process of change/correction to become an effective human being in this world that is able to have critical and reason thinking through which you can find the solutions to support yourself and others in this world.

How to use Comparison in a constructive way - Day 379

About a year ago, I wrote the blog Inadequacy, failure and self judgement - part 1 - Day 30 where I dealt with comparing myself to someone who I perceived to be more effective than me, better than me and through comparing myself to this person, I defined myself as inadequate and a failure as a point of extreme self judgement and sabotage. These are some of the commitment I have written down in that specific blog:

 

"I commit myself to stop comparing my process to other being processes as I realize that I'm walking my own process that has nothing to do with other people.

 

I commit myself to stop defining myself according to other people."

 

In the past month, I started walking a new journey that requires my full attention, focus and responsibility and within that, I had to realign my time, adjust myself to different working hours and to still manage to walk through my previous responsibilities. Obviously, I got all the support I required to walk this point as effective as possible and the only point that I wasn't consistent as much as I would like to was my daily writing. I found myself struggling with this point because practically and physically, I could have spend another hour to do my writings but instead, I justified for myself that it has been a long day and I should go to rest now. And you know, there were days that I only slept 3 hours so here, I'm perfectly ok with not having my writing done as I must also take care of my physical human body and get it to rest but there were also other days where I could write but instead, I justified for myself that it has been a long day and it's cool to instead watch one episode of a TV series for instance. Here is where I found myself in an inner conflict where my desire to take a moment to watch something override common sense and my own commitment of walking in every moment according to what is best for all and within that, having my writing done is a point I define as best for all as it is the ultimate self support I am able to gift to myself and through which, I expand my moment to moment stability so that I can stand as a pillar of support for others.

 

So, last night, it was one of these days where I wanted to justify for myself why it is ok that I won't follow my own commitment of daily writing but instead, take the time for entertainment. But in self honesty, I couldn't pull it through by accepting my own justifications and limitation and thus, I decided to look at the person I compared myself to a year ago from the perspective of seeing the example this person is standing as, what can I learn from this person and how can I practically support myself in walking the time line that made this person effective within themselves. As I looked at the point, I realized it is all about a decision one is making within oneself and within that, the decision to walk one's own self commitment, self will and dedication in any given moment. From here, all I had to do was to  breath in, breath out, make a stance within myself and walk my commitment of daily writing. So yes, if it means that I won't get to entertain myself for a while to ensure that my commitment to myself is met then so be it because at the end of the day, I have to live with myself and personally, I prefer living by knowing that I've done everything possible to make a change within myself and this world and I mean, we have only one life to do so, so why not make the best (for all) out of it?

 

This is a simply example of how to transform destructive competition and comparison between oneself and another into a point of constructive application. When one compare oneself to another, all it means that another is standing as an example of what one perceives oneself as lacking and so, with a decision and practical application, one is able to utilize the example of another and walk the necessary steps to become the point one would previously saw oneself as lacking, inadequate and/or a failure and to accordingly, expand, empower and grow oneself into a being that is trustworthy through a practical and physical application.

 

 

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The Difference between Adoration and Love - Day 372

 

 

This point opened up today on Facebook by Dorit Bar where she was enticing the readers' mind to look at the difference between Adoring someone to Loving someone and so, I decided to participate in the thread she opened up by writing this blog:

 

We all have pictures in our mind about something and/or someone; and a good example of this is by a simple exercise: Speak the name of your best friend - What would you see immediately in your mind? a picture of this friend. Try this again, speak the name of your loved one and what would you immediately see in your mind - the image of the person you love. Now, let's try another thing - Speak the name of your most hateful person in your world - what would you see? The picture of this person.

That means that no matter what is your experience towards a person, the first thing that would come up in your mind is a picture of this person. If you slow yourself down, you could also noticed that there is a positive or a negative energy that comes up and suddenly, your physical body would start changing slightly. This means that just by speaking another person name, there is a network of information that one is able to immediate access to and consciously aware of as well as information that one would automatically access to that one would not even be aware of until one would be shown that this had actually happened in one's mind. (Obviously, within the process of writing and investigating what one is accepting and allowing one to be and become, one is slowly become more and more aware of what is really going on in one's mind - for this I suggest to investigate the DIP Lite Free online course). The experience associated with the person would determine according to your interpretation of the person, according to your past events, memories, experiences, knowledge that in most cases, doesn't have anything to do with the person themselves but rather, only how you perceive the person through your own mind.

 

Alright, so now that we understand what does it means having a picture in our minds towards another, we can have a look at the following point:

Many of us have people we adore - it can be anything from a celebrity or a politician, a teacher or a parent - we created an image of the ones we adore in our mind and we start associating the pictures with characteristic that we believe these people hold within themselves. So now for instance, we have been "lucky" and the person we adore is interested in us and a relationship start developing. Initially, we would feel the butterflies and the excitement because from our perspective, the person we just started being in a relationship with, carries all the characteristics that we have assigned to them in our minds (without even knowing them), the very same characteristic that made us adoring them in the first place. So the relationship started off on the promise that what is in our mind is what real and from adoring them, we are now moving to loving them but a few weeks/months/years later, we start realizing that the picture we created in our mind has nothing to do with the reality; has nothing to do with the person we are in a relationship with; and soon enough, the relationship fall apart because the imagination reality didn't meet the physical reality and what we based our relationship upon, the ground from which the feelings has emerged is no longer there and the relationship collapse - this is also how quick Love turns into Hate.

Obviously, not all relationships fall apart - according to the stats, 50% of the marriages ends up in divorce and then the cycle repeat itself with another relationship that started off from a picture in our mind, evolved into characteristic we assigned to the pictures and moved into feelings we associated with our inner experiences and again, there are 50% chances that the Feeling will soon enough change into Emotions of Hate and resentment.

 

This means that there isn't much difference between Adoring someone and Loving someone - both are the outflow of something we have actually created within our minds. There is a value system attached to it, there is a self interest attached to it and in no way we have based the relationship on a principle of absolute support wherein both would stand as a pillar of unconditional support to enhance, empower and grow each other in becoming a better human beings in this world that would care enough to stand up and take responsibility for one's mind in a clear decision of what one would accept and allow within oneself and one's world and what one would not.

 

I wouldn't trust Love unless it is measurable on a physical level where one Live the word Love in every breath one take where one move and direct oneself towards one goal - bringing the Expression of Love to earth by creating a world system that protect, honor and respect all lives.  Saying you love someone and hate another, saying you love someone and allow the majority to live in misery isn't Love - it is an empty word that is based on self interest. Love would be a visible action of doing what ever it takes to change this world system to a system that support all living beings.

 

More about Love: https://eqafe.com/searches?utf8=%E2%9C%93&q=love

 

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Study finds children would not think of overweight person as a potential friend - Day 369

This in another blog within the blog series where I investigate the question: Who is Responsible for our Children's Education?.

 

In todays Daily Mail article - How we start being 'fattist' at four: Study finds children would not think of overweight person as a potential friend  one can find absolutely fascinating study that clearly show that the parents and our society as a whole are simply ineffective trainers for the children in this world. The study shows how ineffective parenting leads to prejudice behaviour of a child already at age 4 and all of that is happening through the example of the parents, their opinions and beliefs (Value system) and/or the TV/Media influences that without parental input, one simply do not know what the child would accept as their value system and whether the value stands in alignment to what is best for the child and humanity as a whole:

 

Here some pointers from the article:

 

"..A study of 126 boys and girls who had just started school showed they were loath to think of an overweight story book character as a potential friend…

 

…The Leeds University researchers said it seems that even very young children have picked up on the prejudice against fat people that pervades society…

 

...Only one of the 43 children read the fat Alfie version of the book chose him as a potential pal..

 

...The results of the study, the first to show that children of such a young age stigmatise those who are fat, were presented at European Congress on Obesity in Liverpool...

 

...He said that with parents of obese children saying their youngsters are already socially isolated at the age of five, such views could underpin weight-related bullying and victimisation...

 

...The professor said that he believes the youngsters are picking up on a prejudice towards obesity that is all around them, from the opinions of their parents to TV shows which ‘ridicule’ the fat...

 

...He added: ‘I think we have an underlying social commentary about weight and morals and that the morality of people is based on their shape...

 

...‘I think that is very powerful and kids are sensitive to it.’...

 

...Professor John Wilding, of the UK Association for the study of Obesity, said: ‘I think it matters because we know that the social stigma associated with weight problems is quite significant...

 

...‘It is reflected in reduced employment opportunities and all sorts of other aspects of life...

 

...‘If these stereotypes are starting in childhood, it is going to be very hard to reverse them...

 

...‘I guess we need to think about how to change that in society.’"

 

It is fascinating that the conclusion is:  "I guess we need to think about how to change that in society" instead of a definite statement indicting: "Till here no further - we must change ourselves by investigating our value system so that we can stand up, correct ourselves and change our contaminated behaviour and thus, stand as an example for our children of what does it really mean to live in integrity and respect towards oneself and each other.
 

The even bigger problem is that no one wants to admit that we, as parents, are brainwashing our children to be the image and likeness of ourselves. I mean, let's do the math - can you honestly state that throughout your day, you have no Thoughts, Reactions and Emotions towards others? Was there a day in your life that you didn't judge, spite or gossiped about another human being? (and here, it does not matter if it was verbally or only in your mind) Is there absolute respect towards ALL human beings in this world within yourself to the extent that every decision that you make is what best for all?

IF you are honest about these questions, it would be fair enough to assume that as of yet, you are not standing as an absolute and perfect example for your children and all of these inner conflicts that you have within yourself, you are passing to your children and they will pass it through to their children. (The sin of the fathers)

 

We train the kids to either become obese by telling them they must finish everything from their plate (please read Finish Everything on your Plate! - Day 355) and we train the children to not like fat people.

 

In the article it was mentioned that obese people are having hard time to find a job and now that we understand that prejudice behaviour starts already in early childhood, there is no wonder since once one that is obese is being interviewed for a job, the interviewer has most likely prejudice opinions about the shape of the interviewee body and as we all know, the judgement and opinions that we form about another is happening in the first 10 Seconds or less. By all means, the quality, integrity and experience of the interviewee is not coming to play when the 'wrong' judgement is being placed upon the interviewee by the brainwashed interviewer.

 

In essence, the article emphasize the consequences of incorrect use of the Natural Learning Ability. When the child learns bad habits such as being prejudice already at age 4, it implies that the parents didn't make sure that the information that the child stored within oneself contains the actual and real meaning of the word/vocabulary/expression. If we teach our children that it is valid to be prejudice from a early age, how can we not see that instead of evolving we are devolving and how can we not see it was always our responsibility and our direct participation in how and who we have become? How can we not see that we pass our sins to our children?

 

What is important to understand form this article is that the problem is much more severe than being prejudice at age 4 - the problem is that we have no awareness as to what we teach our children, we have no awareness as to what our children are picking up from our expression, behaviour and words.

We have never actually investigated our opinions, beliefs, ideas, perceptions that we have created as our value system upon which we live as and the even bigger problem here is that we pass it generation after generation without seeing, realizing and understanding that we pass on invalid value systems through which we created our world and thus, it is no wonder that there is so much hate, suffering and abuse in this world because we have never made sure that our children would become the best that they can be as we have limited them to what and who we are and let's face it - who we are isn't the best for all example as of yet.

 

So it is time to takes things into our hands and start investigating our belief system before it is too late; we must stop the cycle of ineffective production of human beings and instead, become the being that we can be, a being that moves, direct and walk according to that which is best for all. Only then we can ensure that what we show, teach and educate our children would bring the results of a world where we can trust each other, support and cared for each other, a world where we respect ourselves and each other - a world that is best for all living beings. It is up to us, it always has been so would we wait till we reach to a point of no return or would we take responsibility and correct ourselves and change?