Showing posts with label jewish mother. Show all posts
Showing posts with label jewish mother. Show all posts
Jul 4, 2012 | By: A Woman

The Submissive Daughter and the Controlling Mother Character - Day 82

This is a continuation to my previous blog:

For Context, also read: Day 79: Stepping out of Character with LOVED ONES - Creation's Journey to Life, Bernard Poolman.

Part 3: The Mother/Daughter Character - Looking at specific Characters:

The Submissive Daughter and the relationship with the Mother:

Jesus_handsI forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself as the Daughter Character in this world to have refused to see how I have created the Controlling Mother character so that I could keep the Submissive Daughter Character and thus, I've I accepted this role and always accepted the Mother Character to tell me who I am, what I must do, whom I should be with, when to do it and where while all along, I was busy creating another character in my mind, of and as the rebellion as I've participated in my mind, with spiteful, resentment and resistance thoughts towards the Mother character. And I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand how I've trapped myself with multiple characters that serve only one purpose which is to keep me in character and never step out of character and actually change and rebirth myself from and as the physical as LIFE.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself as the Submissive Daughter Character in this world to go into my mind with back chats towards the Mother character that I've created for me to remain submissive and participate with spiteful thoughts, resentment, anger and frustration where I'm having internal conversation with the mother character in my mind, in the attempt to prepare myself to stand up for myself and yet, what I haven't seen, realize and understood that in the moment I've prepared myself to stand up in my mind, placing the mother character within and as me where I talk to her in my mind, I've actually created and manifested the controlling mother character.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself  as the Submissive Daughter character in this world to have create this character based on past memories that I've imprinted into my flesh where I was punished, yelled at or got beaten and through preserving the fear, I've locked myself within and as the Submissive character, trapped myself to the extent to which I will never step out of the character.

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand how I have always been my own character creator and the script that I've written for myself and thus, I've blamed everything and everyone for my existence of me as the submissive daughter character in this world so that I would not have to face my own creation and thus, could remain forever enslaved. Because I've failed to see that for me to be the submissive daughter, I must have created the controlling character that will allow me to remain in the submissive character.

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself as the Submissive Daughter Character in this world to see, realize and understand how I've created polarized characters wherein I will either integrate myself within and as the character of the submissive daughter it my complete and entire human physical body and become Equal to and One as the character and so, I will always remain within the Submissive character wherein I would create my children in the image and likeness that would suit with my Submissive character and would thus then, create my children as abusers of me. OR - I will either balance the existence of me as the Submissive character through the children that I've created and would become the exact duplicate of the Mother character that I've created earlier in my life and thus, create the characters of my children as submissive so that we can all together - continue the cycle and thus make sure that none of us will ever step out of character.

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself as a submissive daughter character in this world to try and attempt to control the friends in my life in the attempt to balance my character without realizing that I've actually also created the controlling character and thus made sure that I will always remind in character. What a nice trap.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself as the controlling mother character in this world, to create and manifest the child as the submissive character so that I could remain in my perceived control to hide behind my other character of inferiority and thus, through missing that very basic understanding of creation, I've NOT allowed myself to create myself as life but rather, created enslaved, controlled and limited life for myself and existence as a whole. 

I commit myself to show that as long as one create one's character in one's mind, one will remain enslave to one's own creation and will never become LIFE within and as the physical reality.

I commit myself to show that as long as one continue blaming others for one own creation of characters, one is deliberate responsible for the future of this world as one will continue creating more and more character to justify why one must remain in character because others are wrongs and will not stand in the face of LIE(f) and create LIEF that is best for all.

I commit myself to show how the cycle of abuse continue as we create our children in the image and likeness that will suit with the characters that we've created for ourselves and within that, make sure the children will remain in character and so, create their own children's character, generation after generation after generation.

I commit myself to show how we are not in fact changing when we jump from one character to the other character in the attempt to balance ourselves as character and that in fact, we have only created another character.
Jul 2, 2012 | By: A Woman

The Family Charade in Character - Day 80

This is a continuation to my previous blog:

I forgive myself that I've not accepted and allowed myself to see the separation that we have created within the family character wherein, there are specific roles that each participant is playing according to one's created character that one as accepted and allowed self to be defined as and accordingly, separate oneself as character from oneself as LIFE and the others as a whole.

The Destonians - The Family of Life
Part 1: The Mother/Daughter Character - Overview


The Daughter Character:

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that I've created myself as a character of and as the 'Daughter' and within that, also created the parents as characters that will assist and support the Daughter character to remain in character.

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that who I am cannot be defined by characters and thus, the daughter character cannot be real.

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that for me to be someone's daughter, I must have created that relationship in character, in agreement with all the other characters to remain in character and within that, I've not seen, realized and understood the limitation that exists within and as characters wherein one is tie to one's character and cannot express and experience oneself as who one is but only as the character that one has created for oneself, in separation of oneself.

The Mother Character:

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to create myself within and as the character of the Mother according to how I've observer my mother's character, the character mothers in the Movies, my characters' friends mother as so on and accordingly, created myself as the character that I would like to be in this life, not seeing, realizing and understanding that the character that I would like to be was also a character that I've defined according to my memories and experiences and that the fact of the matter is, the decision to be and become the specific mother character that I've created as myself, wasn't a free, informative and clear decision of who I am but was born from the circumstances of my life as the sum up of all the characters that allowed me to create myself as the character and within that, I haven't even considered that I've created the other characters so that I could remain in character.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to create and design myself as the mother character because I believed that the mother character is who I am and I haven't realized that for me to remain in character of the mother, I must create in agreement other character that will provide me with the continuation of me as the mother character which than raise the question, what was my starting point in having children? To create myself in character or to actually bring a life that is best for all into this world?

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see how limited the mother character is in fact where I'm not fully walking in absolute the physical expression of a mother in this world where I take care of all children in this world equally but rather, separated myself within and as my own little bubble which I've defined as the family character, taking care of only those who can keep me in character so that I won't have to step out of my character and walk my responsibility as LIFE to take care of all parts of LIFE equal and one.

For context, also read:
May 18, 2012 | By: A Woman

How to Prevent Sickness - Day 35

Disclaimer - Within this blog, I'm writing about a specific living experience that I've defined as sickness which was not a physical condition thus, with any sickness/illness/element/physical discomfort, make sure to always to consult a medical practitioner to get the necessary physical support and assistance.

             Life Review - Voices trapped me in my Mind

The following 'Symbolism' that I'm referring to in this blog in relation to sickness experience are:
Walking bare foot
Wet hair
No wearing a jacket
cough

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to imprint the symbolism into me, accepted the symbolism as valid and true and lived the symbols, allowed a thought of: "I'm going to get sick" and when enough energy was accumulated, I've manifested the consequences as energetic experience which I've defined as sickness.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to imprint words  as fears from those who have gone before me within the relationship between the symbolism and getting sick into me, allowed a thoughts of: "I'm going to get sick" and when enough energy was accumulated, I've manifested the consequences as energetic experience which I've defined as sickness.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to have failed to see that the symbolism in association to sickness, were imprinted into me through my acceptance and thus, every time I lived those symbolisms, the thought of I might get sick came up and I have failed to realize that by accepting the thoughts, words and symbolism, I've accepted the energetic experience which I've defined as sickness.

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that since the moment I've accepted the imprint of the symbolism into me, I've also imprinted the fears of those who have come before me and make it my own.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to react in fear of getting sick when I lived the symbolism as an accepted truth which came about in the nature of the thought: "I'm going to get sick" and I haven't realize the consequences that I'm slowly but surely manifesting - sickness.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to program my body in fear of getting sick through the imprinting the symbolism and I haven't realized that by allowing the imprinted fear to exists within and as me I'm preparing the way before me to face the consequences of such allowance.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed blame towards myself when I experienced sickness after the symbolism played out through the thought: " I knew I shouldn't have do it, now I'm sick" and I haven't realized that within that statement I'm accepting the energetic experience of sickness through validating the experience within blame.

                                Life Review - Why I Accepted a Life of Energy Disorder
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to believe that the energetic experience that I've defined as sickness is real and I haven't considered standing up from within me, in absolute self trust and delete the symbolism, the associations/connection that I've imprinted in my mind that has manifested the energetic experience of sickness, breathe and let it go while utilizing my human physical body as a cross reference for whether or not I've actually stood up and moved myself in breathe.

I commit myself to investigate all dimensions where sickness played out in my life and how I used and abused my body through energy experiences throughout my life.

I commit myself to stand equal  to and one as the energetic experience of sickness and move myself within absolute self trust in breathe and delete the energy.

I commit myself to delete the symbolism that I've imprinted into me throughout my life and especially within age 0-7 and I trust myself to stand equal to and one as each and every symbolism and delete it and with doing so, stop the consequences from re-occurring.

In my next blog, I will investigate sickness in relation to manipulation


Apr 22, 2012 | By: A Woman

Religion of Self – Dependency – Day 9




I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to leave a back door for mistakes through always having someone to blame for my responsibilities, instead of walking a time line, walking in clarity and effectively planning that which I’m participating with and get to the utmost potential in everything that I do.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to – Instead of walking my responsibilities during my day, in self trust and directing myself effectively, I seek for someone to direct and approve my doing so that if I fuck up, I could blame this person for it.

I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to take full responsibility for my responsibilities within the need for someone to approve that which I do.

I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to see the nature of my dependency towards others within looking/seeking for someone to stand as a pillar to approve and validate my doing and within that, haven’t accepted and allowed myself to be and become the directive principle of myself and my world, within self-trust in every moment of every breath.

I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to see that my entire existence was dependent upon others to validate, direct and approve me and in that, I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to take responsibility for my life because I gave my power away to those whom I blindly follow and trust them to direct me.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to be directed, controlled and enslaved to the world system wherein, I give my power away to other beings to make decisions for me without realizing and seeing that by giving my power away, I’m compromising myself and my world as the silent acceptance of this world to continue functions as it is because apparently, I’m not worthy to speak and stand up because I require someone else to insert words into me so that I know that what I’ve said or done was pre-approved and validated.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to exists as a shadow in this world through not taking the responsibility and actually directing myself but instead, blindly followed by the example of those who came before me despite of the physical evidence that their example wasn’t and isn’t an example that is worthwhile due to the consequences of this current world system that is based on abuse, suffering, crime, wars and survival and in no way best for all.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to train and program myself to always seek for approval for my doings and in that, abdicated the responsibility to be and become a human beings that is standing in stability, directing oneself and one’s world without being influenced, controlled and enslaved to a system that is founded on self interest and the survival of the fittest.

I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to see that I’m trusting other beings to direct me and in that, making the statement that I’m not worthy for my own self trust.

I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to see that my entire existence is depending on others to direct and validate me and within that, I’ve not seen how the world system functions exactly the same where only a select few direct and validate those who blindly accepted themselves as inferior and unworthy.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to give value to those who have come before me because apparently, they know better and I must follow them, despite the physical daily prove that they have no clue within how to direct themselves and our world because if they would have known, this world was already a world that is best for all.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to validate and worthy myself through the approval of others and when I didn’t get the approval, I doubted and question myself from the starting point of inferiority.

I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that for a substantial change in this world, I cannot trust anyone but myself and thus, I will myself to be and become the directive principle of myself and my world so that in every moment of every breath, I will act and do only that which is best for all.

I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize the meaning of ‘cross referencing’ and thus, I used it to indirectly seeking for approval, trying and attempting to present that I’m clear and directive but the fact of the matter was that I’ve manipulated others so that I could be validated and approved and thus, if anything went wrong, I could justify it through saying that it was cross reference and blame others for the fuck up instead of taking responsibility from the get go and utilizing cross referencing form equality and oneness starting point instead of fear and inferiority.

I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that if I require someone to tell me what I should say or do, I cannot  trust myself to direct this world to a world that is best for all and thus, I’ve abdicated my responsibility as a human being, to face myself, correct the relationship that I’ve formed with my mind and change myself so that I would be able to stand up within myself and this world and do whatever it takes to make sure that this world is a world that is best for all.

I commit myself to get myself sorted out in all aspects as I see and realize the extent of that which I’ve accepted and allowed myself to live and exists as, with the direct consequences of allowing a world that is best for only a few while others are seeking for the approval of their very existence through money.

I commit myself to be and become the directive principle of myself and my world within self trust and so, Will not accept and allow myself to be influenced, controlled and enslaved by anything and anyone and thus, I commit myself to understand how and why I have blindly diminished myself to such an extent that my entire existence is dependent on others.

I commit myself to – when and as I see a movement within me of wanting to say/ask something so that I could validate myself through the answer, I stop, I breathe, I bring myself back here, I stand within and as me in self trust within the realization that if I would to fuck up, I will learn from it, face, correct and change.

I commit myself to direct myself in every moment according to a basic principle of what is best for all lives and in that, I do not require anyone to tell me what is best for all lives because with common sense and self honesty, the answer is very clear.

 
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