In my 30's and without Money - Day 78

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to believe I'm a complete fuck up because I had the possibility to make money in this world; I have all the qualities and skills that require to become a successful business woman in this world and yet, I don't have money. Within that, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to be clear within my decision to stand no matter what for a world that is best for all because if I would have stood in absolute clarity, I wouldn't have participated in this type of back chat to the extent of absolute petrification when and as I was asked - "Where do you see your financial status to be in the future - what steps are you making now to secure your potential financial status effectively in the future?"

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to access my preprogram belief that I must have money by the time I reach my 30's and if I still don't have money in my 30's I'm a failure and a big disappointment to myself and my family that gave me everything I require in this world to have a decent job that will secure my financial future. Within that, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to look at the obviousness wherein the physical evidence is that the Majority of the people in this world that are in their 30's and above  do not have money due to a world system of corruption, greed and abuse that we have all equally accepted and allowed to be the norm and so, in looking in common sense and the equation, being with no money in one's 30's of one's life doesn't define one as a failure but we can actually conclude that the current world system is a failure.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to doubt my decision with regards to my path in this ONE life time when and as I was asked about my future stability with regards to Money because I've not sorted out/deleted the inherit pre-program design that I've imprinted into my Flesh wherein, by my 30's I must be financial stable and thus, I stand here, in absolute clarity, that I will WALK and MOVE and DIRECT myself according to one principle - That which is best for ALL LIFE as I see, realize and understand that the path that I freely chose to walk, to bring about a world that is best for all, was the only decision that I have even made that was actually my own. I see, realize and understand that the steps that I'm making now, will be a stepping stone for the next generation to come.

I commit myself to come to clarity with regards to my future, where I'm going to place myself, how I'm going to support myself and how am I going to practically walk the decision. I commit myself to look at all the possible out come for what ever decision that I may decide so that I can stand in absolute self trust with what may manifest within myself and my world.

I realize that this decision is not to be taken likely and self honesty is required as this decision will influence not only my life but the lives of others.

I commit myself to support myself in writing, investigating all the preprogram patterns, beliefs, networks that I've imprinted into my flesh as the sin of the fathers so that what ever I decide, will be absolute free choice that has nothing to do with anything and anyone but a pure principle - Life that is best for all.

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that if I allow myself to become absolutely petrified from projecting a future to come, my decision wasn't clear, stable and absolute, and thus, I require to assist and support myself with writing it all out, walk all the future possible outcomes and stand clear in each and every one of them so that I can trust my decision to walk in this ONE life time and direct myself and this world towards a world that is best for all wherein I give up everything that I've defined myself as because in self honesty I see that it's not everything that I give up - it is actually to give up Nothing (the illusions of the mind) for Everything (LIFE).

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to feel shame that I don't have money in this world because according to my preprogram design, I should have had money and if I don't have it by now , I'm no good, a failure, a disappointment, worthless and useless. Within that, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to access Shame even though I "know" better - where I see the entire time line that brought me into the experience of shame and yet, I have allowed shame to manifest within and as me. That shows the extent of the preprogram design into one's physical flesh as well as how extensive the brainwash as the preprogram is. Thus, it takes self will, dedication, and absolute self honesty, to step out of one's preprogram life and actually stand up for LIFE that is best for all because the principle of oneness and equality and what is best for all, wasn't part of the pre-program design and the decision to stand up for life, is the only decision that can be made in absolute Self Will, Free choice and self honesty.

I forgive myself that I haven't realized the extent of the challenge that this process will be, where I will face myself and all that I've become, I will face resistance by society, I will face abuse by society, I will face my pre-programmed designs and even so, I commit myself to stand within ONE single principle that is my directive principle - I stand for LIFE that is best for all and do what ever it takes to bring about a world that is worthwhile for everything and everyone.

I forgive myself  that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see the "Time clock" design where when one reach a certain age, the design activate and one start comparing oneself to the norms of society that one is coming from and accordingly, access fear, frustration, petrification, self judgement etc. within that, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to question that phenomena and simply taken it for granted to the extent to which, when and as I accessed the design, I have accepted it as myself and went along with it.

I commit myself to expose that extent to our brainwashed/pre-programming where specific patterns are activated when specific words/pictures are being spoken/seen. And I commit myself to stand as an example that the pre-program can be de-program and re-program according to principle of Oneness and Equality as I walk and share my own process of how I'm supporting myself to step out of my pre-program designs/patterns and change myself accordingly. A book that I suggest reading - Virus Free Mind By Bernard Poolman

The Decision of TIME - Day 67

This is a continuation to:

The Elite's delusion of stress - Part 1 - Day 45

The Elite's Delusion of Stress - Part 2 - Day 46

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself  to see in self honesty that my decision of walking in every moment of every breath according to principle of that which is best for all, wasn't absolutely clear, because if it was, I wouldn't have spend time in Backchat, internal conversations and thoughts within and as me.

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see how deceptive the statement of " I don't have time" is because if I play with the variables and add Money to the equation as a reward for my good work, I would simply walk all my tasks until they are done and perhaps I even would have take more tasks on myself, to increase the rewards (Money) and I would still won't make the statement "I don't have time to do everything".

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself in self honesty, to see, realize and understand that when I allow myself to participate in the statements: "OMG, I don't have time, I will not make it, I don't have time for myself", I'm actually wasting my time in thoughts, emotions and feelings instead of standing up, delete the experience of stress, self victimization and simply direct myself as effectively as possible, breath by breath.

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that if my decision to walk in every breath according to that which is best for all was clear, I wouldn't have accepted and allowed myself to be stressed and nervous about not having enough time during the day because clearly, I did have time to participate in backchat. What I'm showing here to myself is that when and as I allow the thought "I don't have time,  omg" to come up from within me - what I know is that I wasn't breathing, I wasn't clear in my starting point and that I must take a step back, realign myself back to myself and my decision and to accordingly walk my day to day responsibilities, breath by breath until it's done.

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself  to consider that when I experience my day to day tasks as a burden within and as myself, I'm not in fact here within and as my human physical body but rather somewhere in my mind, missing a breath. And within that, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to red flag the experience of burden within and as myself in relation to my day to day tasks because the very fact that I gave permission to the experience should worry me as it is indicating that my initial decision of walking those tasks was not done from the starting point of what is best for all but as a point of self interest to be able to reward myself with Energy that I would get from others, who would validate and approve me according to what I do.

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that if I compare the amount of my daily tasks with the tasks that others have, I'm not in fact standing clear within my decisions of walking my daily tasks because if I would have a clear starting point, what others do or not, wouldn't influence me in anyway whatsoever and I would focus on my breath by breath living application and walk my daily task in the utmost effective way possible regardless of the others.

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that some of my tasks might be lagged as there is so much that one can do within each and every breathe and thus, instead of judging myself for not having it all done, I direct myself to assess in self honesty whether I was effective throughout the day and if not, I investigate where, when and how I wasn't absolutely directing myself effectively  to be able to correct my living application and change that which required to be changed;

I commit myself to realign my starting point within everything that I do according to that which is best for all. When and as I see energy movement as frustration, stress, burden, anxiety, comparison and judgement, I stop, I bring myself back to this physical reality, I ground the energy back to earth and I direct myself to apply myself, as the expression of who I am, breath by breath.

I see, realize and understand that my starting point thus far wasn't clear as I've accepted and allowed back chat to exists within and as me. I take responsibility to investigate and introspect in self honesty and through a process of self forgiveness, to then thus, stop indulging into self interest desire for a reward and instead, to move and direct myself as who I am, as life that is best for all, in every moment of every breath.

I commit myself to stop the back chats that I've automated in separation of me, as I see the consequences of allowing backchat for myself and this world. Every moment that I spend in my mind, is another moment that I could have done something that actually has value in this world, it is another moment that someone is dying from starvation and it is another moment that I've separated myself from myself and this existence as a whole.

I commit myself to assess my days every night before I go to sleep and to check in self honesty the level of effectiveness that I've walked throughout the day and accordingly take responsibility, correct and change.

Religion of Self – Dependency – Day 9

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to leave a back door for mistakes through always having someone to blame for my responsibilities, instead of walking a time line, walking in clarity and effectively planning that which I’m participating with and get to the utmost potential in everything that I do.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to – Instead of walking my responsibilities during my day, in self trust and directing myself effectively, I seek for someone to direct and approve my doing so that if I fuck up, I could blame this person for it.

I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to take full responsibility for my responsibilities within the need for someone to approve that which I do.

I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to see the nature of my dependency towards others within looking/seeking for someone to stand as a pillar to approve and validate my doing and within that, haven’t accepted and allowed myself to be and become the directive principle of myself and my world, within self-trust in every moment of every breath.

I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to see that my entire existence was dependent upon others to validate, direct and approve me and in that, I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to take responsibility for my life because I gave my power away to those whom I blindly follow and trust them to direct me.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to be directed, controlled and enslaved to the world system wherein, I give my power away to other beings to make decisions for me without realizing and seeing that by giving my power away, I’m compromising myself and my world as the silent acceptance of this world to continue functions as it is because apparently, I’m not worthy to speak and stand up because I require someone else to insert words into me so that I know that what I’ve said or done was pre-approved and validated.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to exists as a shadow in this world through not taking the responsibility and actually directing myself but instead, blindly followed by the example of those who came before me despite of the physical evidence that their example wasn’t and isn’t an example that is worthwhile due to the consequences of this current world system that is based on abuse, suffering, crime, wars and survival and in no way best for all.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to train and program myself to always seek for approval for my doings and in that, abdicated the responsibility to be and become a human beings that is standing in stability, directing oneself and one’s world without being influenced, controlled and enslaved to a system that is founded on self interest and the survival of the fittest.

I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to see that I’m trusting other beings to direct me and in that, making the statement that I’m not worthy for my own self trust.

I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to see that my entire existence is depending on others to direct and validate me and within that, I’ve not seen how the world system functions exactly the same where only a select few direct and validate those who blindly accepted themselves as inferior and unworthy.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to give value to those who have come before me because apparently, they know better and I must follow them, despite the physical daily prove that they have no clue within how to direct themselves and our world because if they would have known, this world was already a world that is best for all.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to validate and worthy myself through the approval of others and when I didn’t get the approval, I doubted and question myself from the starting point of inferiority.

I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that for a substantial change in this world, I cannot trust anyone but myself and thus, I will myself to be and become the directive principle of myself and my world so that in every moment of every breath, I will act and do only that which is best for all.

I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize the meaning of ‘cross referencing’ and thus, I used it to indirectly seeking for approval, trying and attempting to present that I’m clear and directive but the fact of the matter was that I’ve manipulated others so that I could be validated and approved and thus, if anything went wrong, I could justify it through saying that it was cross reference and blame others for the fuck up instead of taking responsibility from the get go and utilizing cross referencing form equality and oneness starting point instead of fear and inferiority.

I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that if I require someone to tell me what I should say or do, I cannot  trust myself to direct this world to a world that is best for all and thus, I’ve abdicated my responsibility as a human being, to face myself, correct the relationship that I’ve formed with my mind and change myself so that I would be able to stand up within myself and this world and do whatever it takes to make sure that this world is a world that is best for all.

I commit myself to get myself sorted out in all aspects as I see and realize the extent of that which I’ve accepted and allowed myself to live and exists as, with the direct consequences of allowing a world that is best for only a few while others are seeking for the approval of their very existence through money.

I commit myself to be and become the directive principle of myself and my world within self trust and so, Will not accept and allow myself to be influenced, controlled and enslaved by anything and anyone and thus, I commit myself to understand how and why I have blindly diminished myself to such an extent that my entire existence is dependent on others.

I commit myself to – when and as I see a movement within me of wanting to say/ask something so that I could validate myself through the answer, I stop, I breathe, I bring myself back here, I stand within and as me in self trust within the realization that if I would to fuck up, I will learn from it, face, correct and change.

I commit myself to direct myself in every moment according to a basic principle of what is best for all lives and in that, I do not require anyone to tell me what is best for all lives because with common sense and self honesty, the answer is very clear.

 

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