The Power of Fears - Day 360

 

This is a continuation to the Previous blog: The Compartment of Now - Day 359.

Now that we see how we can look at our lives and even our days, through a map of compartments representing moments in time that would always start in one Breath in and one Breathe out, we can start having a look at how Fears are the one Factor that would limit us from walking each compartment, each moment in time, to the best of our ability in consolidating our strengths and enhancing our natural skills; fears are the one thing that we believe to be Real as we haven't not realized how and why we made them physically and mentally be real through our participation within ourselves and within this world as a whole.

 

Let's have a look at the following example:

We have decided to walk a new adventure in our life, whether it be higher level of education studies, or a new job or a new business, there would always be a specific steps one must take to manifest the desired result. For instance, we decided to registered to medical school and to do that, we require to have previous track record upon which the medical school board would make the decision of whether or not passing they should pass us to the next phase of evaluation where we will be verbally reviewed by a committee to see if our character is aligned with what it takes to be a doctor according to the guideline the Medical school board had drawn out.

 

So we have applied and sent through all the relevant information we were required to submit for the first phase of evaluation. In other words, we are now walking a specific compartment in our life which we must have entered to while we were breathing in, and within that compartment, we require to collect all the relevant data for our initial application and in that moment in time, this specific compartment would end the moment we send through our application and if we slow ourselves down, we will noticed that what we naturally did when we posted our application by mail was taking a breath out didn't we?

 

So now, what do we know? That in 6-8 weeks, we will receive a letter from the medical school board, indicating whether or not we will continue with our evaluation or not. What would be our 'natural' behaviour is to worry about the answer we would receive in 6-8 weeks, from the moment we sent the application through.

Some of us would imagine how it would feel like to get the positive reply from the school board and how it would be to be a doctor and some of us would expect the worst and could already see themselves failing in the first stage. However, even those who are expecting positive result, what would be the dominant point that would trigger them to imagine positive result is the fear that they won't get what they want.

Is there anything practical in worrying about whether or not we got accepted or not? Is there anything we could possible do to change the result from the moment we posted our application till the day we would receive an answer? How does the quality of our lives is affected within these 6-8 weeks that we consistently participating in worries and fears of the future? How does the next compartment as moment in time that we are now in, is influenced by our emotional state and condition of fear? How does the physical body affected from the pressure we put the body through, so long as we accept and allow ourselves to participate within something that is so counterproductive such as fearing a point in the future we have no idea how it would play out? a point in the future that we cannot even control..

 

Here was just an example through which we could start understanding how ineffective we become once we allow fears to determine the quality of our lives.
Now, we can go further and see how our lives would play out during the next 6-8 weeks of which we anticipating the result to come in. For instance, let's say we decided to read a book - how quickly would we lose our focus and go into our minds, imagining again all the possible outcomes and how our lives would look like within each potential out come?

Let's say we are cooking dinner and as we chop the vegetable, we suddenly imagining ourselves performing a surgery, holding the scalpel in our hands,  saving lives, hearing all the life support machine until the fear kicks in and immediately we go into anxiety: "but what if I won't get accepted?" and ooops, what happen? We slightly cut our finger because we were simply not aware of that which is here as a physical action of cutting the vegetable; a moment that started with us taking a breath in, where we made the decision to prepare a salad and what should have been a moment of breathing out when the salad is done however now, we must move to the next compartment, to the next moment in time that would again start with breathing in only that now, instead of finishing up the salad, we must dress the cut we have so neglectfully did to ourselves while spending time in our mind instead of focusing on the physical living application of a simply thing such as cutting a vegetable.

 

More on that will come in my next blog.

Why doesn't God answer my Prayers? Day 349

 

Why doesn't God answer the Prayers of those who starve?

Why doesn't God answer the Prayers of those who in a daily pain?

Why doesn't God answer the prayers of the children who are born into slavery?

Why does God only answer those with Money?

Why does God only answer with/trough Money?

Wait! Does that mean that God is in essence Money?

 

For a few years I prayed as well. I didn't call it God, I called it Grandfather (that had died). When my prayer didn't come through, I finally decided to stop but it didn't last long and a few years later I found another 'higher source' I could pray to. This time I called it 'Guide'. But.. This guide didn't answer my prayer either and I felt lost for a moment until I started to develop some form of common sense in adding the points together when I asked the above questions.

 

So I realized that Money is the force that direct our lives; that Money decide who lives and who dies; that Karma is just a brand name that was used to make us either feel better with ourselves if we have money or at least enough money to suppress the truth of ourselves or make us feel guilty and ashamed if we born to the wrong side of the Money polarity.

 

I think that it is safe to say that if God really exist, he doesn't do a great job and its creation had evolved to something that if God would have existed, he would be ashamed of himself for accepting and allowing this existence to become the manifestation it is now.

 

So, wouldn't you agree that it is time to take our godly powers back to ourselves and correct the mess that we live in? wouldn't you want to ensure that your children and grandchildren could live in a world where abundance is not a world that is associated with only a select few? Wouldn't you want the future of your generation to come to be a future where they could actually live in dignity and integrity without fearing for their survival? I'm sure you do. So let's do some simple Math:

At the moment: God = Money. and what is it that we truly desire for? A Life that can actually be lived in peace and harmony. Does, what needs to be changed? The value we define Money as. If we change the value of Money to Value that encompass LIFE that is best for ALL (Which include you as part of the all), we could finally start changing the course of our living experiences isn't right?

 

So - to learn how it can practically be done - Investigate the Equal Money System where the starting point of Money is Life that is best for all. Explore the possibilities of your Future and the future of your Loved one if only you would dare to take what was always belong to you but you forgot about it -> Life! It's time for a change so be the change you want to see in this world, in a practical and physical manner.

 

Determine the Future through the Past - Day 280

I was looking today at an interesting design of how we structure our lives, based on the Past, within the knowledge and information that we have gathered thus far, as memories, experiences, beliefs, opinion and etc.  and accordingly, project it all on the Future within the belief that X,Y,Z are then the only possible outcomes.

 

An Example -

As a child, I dreamt about being a National Geographic Photographer because:

 

A. I enjoyed taking pictures.

B. I Fantasized on traveling around the world.

Thus, A+B brought me to the conclusion that I must become a National Geographic Photographer.
Then, as i grow up, more variables came into the Equation:

C. There isn't much income in it.

D. I won't be able to have a stable and constant Home and Family because I'll be traveling around the world.

Thus, A+B+C+D brought me to the Conclusion that I cannot pursue my Childhood Dream because C+D had more value according to my Pre-program Design.

 

From there, when seeing that C+D are more valuable and powerful, I changed the Variables:

E. I want to be a Psychologist because I want to help people.

So I registered to the University, got accepted, found an apartment and was 2 months a way from starting my new life path.

But then, in the Summer brake, I discovered that there was 'More' to life then what I knew about life thus far (School, Army, Traveling, University). I discovered 'Partying', Alcohol, Men and a perceive sense of Freedom and thus now:

F. I want to Party and have fun - that doesn't work with studying.

So I dropped out of school before I even started and now, the Family Pressure started to kick in as I was pushed to do something with my life meaning - get education.

So now that F is a valuable variable, I looked at how I can manipulate D with maintaining F.

My Parties Friends told me about a Private Collage where they plan to go to, and how awesome the Social life there, and the people are all rich and good looking and.. The parties.. The best parties ever.. And because I knew that my parents will pay anything for the sake of my education, I thus decided:

G. I will Study Business and Marketing within a special program that include last year of Education in Las Vegas. That sound like Fun. But, it doesn't really fit in with the Preprogram design because, I must stay in Israel, Develop a Career, find my partner, get married and have Kids. So The Family Pressure kicked in again and I decided to change G. to:

H. I'll study Business with specialty in Finance and at the same time I'll do L.L.B in Law.   

 

I finished school and now had to stop the Partying stage, find a job and be something in this world. I started a job in marketing. Without realizing, I became poor really quick because I could no longer be a bar tender and make lots of money with the living expanses of renting a house and owning a car, Food, Electricity and Etc.

 

I quit my job for a what was seem at that time as a promising career as a trader in the Capital Market. That wasn't a huge success and I had to quit after a year because I was really not good at my job. I didn't know what to do next because all my attempts to manifest D were coming to nothing. Sure, I had B.A in Business and L.L.B in Law but there was absolute nothing I wanted to do with that. I still couldn't see my future and specifically, couldn't see future happiness unless D will in some may would manifest.

 

This all story is to show you that we are making our decisions based on Prospect Experiences/Desires and Past Memories/Experiences, Beliefs, ideas and etc. that were infuse into us already in childhood and we blindly accepted this is if this is who we are and the life we must walk as who we are.

 

D, was a direct influence within every decision that I made throughout my life while I never stopped and actually invested a moment to investigate each and every point and within that, look at what I really want, Where and how I can discover my fullest potential that would truly give me a life that I'll be satisfied with, in every single moment with no Shadow of Regret.

 

When looking at D: 

 

"I won't be able to have a stable and constant Home and Family because I'll be traveling around the world"

 

Stable and Constant Home/Family indicate that what I wished for in essence was Security of the Future that only Money could give me. Home and Family Represent Stability according to the world System eye's view and that is something that each one of us is being trained to desire from the first moment we remember ourselves. It has been advertised in any Children books, Movies, Magazines and TV Shows. It has been advertised in every Religion and Culture. We have been Programed, generation after Generation to maintain and sustain a Life of Survival within Separation as a principle. We have been Trained to do what ever it takes to Win the life anyone wants to have while only 1% of the 1% can physically have. We have Compromised through the Belief that Love worth it all despite of the Common sense seeing that Love doesn't bring food to the table but Money is.

 

To Understand Preprograming in a nutshell, I suggest reading my blog series - 'The correction Process and the Desteni Message' and in the Future to Come, a new series will be available on EQAFE - the Physical Quantum Mind which would explain in Detail how the Pre-Program works on a Physical Quantum Mind Level and how  the first 7 years of a Child life would be the stepping stone from which the Child develop and Establish the Variables that would shape and mould every decision one would make throughout one's life. 

 

The point here to understand is: The Future is Unknown to us at the moment as we have separated ourselves from who we are and as such, can not see the physical reality clearly within all the relationships/variables it consist of and exists as. Sure, we can make common sense plans to make sure that our survival in this world is stable because we are still living in a system of Money and Survival. A point to consider here - is this the Life we want to leave for our Children? Is this the Future we want our Children to have? Isn't it the time to stop and create a future of abundance for all the member of the Family - Humans, Nature and the Animal Kingdom? If you find it in you to stand up for a future of Absolute Security, safety and dignity for all, I suggest to study the Equal Money System Proposal.

 

And on the Individual Level, one must understand how limited we are within our mind wherein, we believe that we can predict our future according to the variables we place in our Life-Equations without realizing that there are much more variables that we haven't consider at all. The Depression that I experienced in my life was due to me looking at the future through the glasses of the Past and not seeing anything that is worthwhile that may manifested within the Frame of Reference I programmed myself as.

I've realized though, that being Depressed when the Physical reality doesn't meat the Future Reality that I've planned, desired and wished for in my mind indicate the extent of separation that I have accepted and allowed within and as myself because in self honesty, I'm in a process of self discovery and if I project to  the future who I am now, I'm not giving me the space and time to expand, grow and discover myself because 'Who I am' in every moment was never part of the Dynamic Equation of Life.

Bring the point back to self - Day 141

To understand the context of this blog, please read first - Who will take the blame - Day 140

 

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to react in anger towards those who cannot hear the message of what is best for all in general and the EMS in particular and within that, I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that each one of us is a victim to our own brainwashed programming that we have came to be and accordingly, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to remind myself that it also took me a physical space time application to be able to hear the Desteni message and re-educate myself.

 

I see, realize and understand that it will take time and consistent application to educate the world within the principle of what is best for all and I realize that when and as I react and not standing in stability as the directive principle, I'm directly and indirectly, sabotaging not only myself but the beings I communicate with as I'm not standing as unconditionally support for them to be able to hear the message through placing myself in their shoes, equal and one, to see where they are within the existential process and direct the point as effective as possible, breath by breath.

 

I commit myself to when and as I see myself reacting in anger towards those who do not agree with EMS, to Stop, to Breathe, and to see where the being is in their existential process. I give myself the permission to remain quiet or to speak directly according to what I see would be the best in that moment as I see, realize and understand the programming that involved and what is require to be done in order to assist and support the beings I communicate with.

 

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to experience inferiority when and as people that I communicate with justify their point of view with history and because my knowledge and information about history is lacking, I experience myself as adequate to communicate and explain the EMS message.

 

I now see, realize and understand that the Living experience of this current world is the consequences of our acceptance and allowances throughout history and therefor, we are the living memory of our History. Within that, knowing the details of the History is irrelevant because what is relevant is that which is here and there is no doubt that what is here is not a world that is best for all.

 

I commit myself to when and as I experience inferiority within and as myself due to having lack of knowledge and information about History when communicating about the EMS, to stop, take a breath and remind myself that we are the living memory of our history and what is require to be done is change the current living experiences of this world as it is not a world that is best for all. Within that, I commit myself to direct the communication with Common Sense, step by step according to the equality equation which means that when I communicate with people that disagree to the EMS, to walk with them the common sense time line through which they would be able to see why and how the EMS is the only solution that is possible on earth as the initial step to bring about a world that is best for all.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for not being able to bring through a direct communication that people would see the common sense in the EMS and within that, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that the reason why I wasn't able to bring through a direct communication with regards to EMS was because I wasn't standing within and as myself, as communication but rather, tried and attempted to justify and defend myself, as I accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from what is here as well as the people I was communicating with by missing a breath.

 

I see, realize and understand that when I miss a breath and communicate in separation from myself through reaction, I compromise myself, the beings I communicate with as I've abdicated my responsibility to stand in stability, common sense living application, breath by breath and direct the moment effectively.

 

I commit myself to when and as I see myself accessing a defensive mode within my communication with other beings, to stop, to breath and direct the moment as effective as possible according to what is see as best for all in every given moment.

Who will take the blame - Day 140

 

 

For context, please read Day 139: The Rapture and True Activism

 

Today I had a conversation with relatively, very rich people. They were asking me what am I doing on the Farm, what is our agenda, how are we going to pull it through and so on.

The interesting point was that no matter what I've said, they would come up with excuses and justification for why it wouldn't work, why I should focus on charities and medical aid in small villages in Africa and why am I wasting my time while I could do something else.

 

The point where I stopped the communication was when I've noticed that they are trying and attempting to find blame/fault in others for why they wouldn't change and stand up if others won't change and stand up because if they would change and stand up and others won't, others would use and abuse them according to their eye's view.

 

So who will take the Blame? Who will see and realize it is those who can hear the message that must stand up, regardless of whether or not others would change? Who would take the blame and bring it back to self and become a living example in this world? Who would allow oneself to see what self has accepted and allowed in this world and accordingly, walk the path into correction, internally and externally?

 

It is all about rewards and what we will not do because others won't do. Unconditional walking was never part of our living application. Why is it that 'what is best for all' is not part of the education? Why is it that all we ever taught was to take care of our assess while always finding something to blame for our experiences and the experiences of others?

 

In my next blogs, I will walk the Self Forgiveness application in relation to my reactions towards in my environment who would disagree and dismiss the EMS and Desteni and within that, turn the point back to myself. Because what is clear is that if I were stable within and as myself, I wouldn't react in my communication and was able to direct the point regardless of the others' words and deeds. I suggest also reading - Equal Money System? No… It's not going to work  - Day 60

 

 

Establishing Self Trust - Part 1- Day 85

It has been very clear today, within myself, that I've not yet established an absolute self trust within myself and I see now that what ever I worked with thus far, needs to be re-walked when and as self trust will be absolute within and as myself. So, I'm taking a moment to look at Self Trust and the Decision of who I am as the expression of self trust.

From a very young age, within me, there was always a sense of doubt even in times that I've presented myself as clear, stable and comfortable within who and what I am;

In every decision that I've made during my life, it was always in dependency to how others perceive, allow or judge me and only when those component where aligned with my decision, I could experience myself as if I've made the "right" decision and respectively, if the others didn't approve/allowed the decision, I would experience inner turmoil as if I made the "wrong" decision.

It is fascinating how my decisions were always in alignment to the voices in my head where I played all the possible scenes, people, possibilities and have discussion with them, still in my mind, to justify why the decision that I'm about to do is the right thing and I planned in advance their reactions and accordingly, discussed that with them, in my mind, to prepare myself to face the friction/conflict which obviously, it never worked out because in the moment of conflict, I was never stable within and as myself, always defending my decision, trying to prove that I'm right.

I have never considered that doubt can only emerge when and as my decision isn't clear within and as myself as well as not trusting who I am within the decision and stand stable despite of other people opinions and reactions. I have never considered that If I'm planning to make a decision in the future, I'm not in fact changing as the decision was somewhere in the future and only when I decide, I will change. Thus change, wasn't really a part of the equation within the decision making so, did I really ever change or only created a character that have changed one's suit?

So, throughout my life, even when my decision didn't stand the accepted social norms and yet, I've made them, doubt was a constant experience. Like despite of me walking my decisions, still back chats, inner turmoil, inner conversation with other beings in my world was allowed within and as myself which reveal one very obvious point - self trust as who I am, wasn't established/lived which questioned all and every decision that I've made thus far.

And thus, back to the drawing board so to speak and walk the time line of all the decisions that I have ever made allocate the starting point, look at the information that I was working with in order to make a decision, what memories was part of the decision making and accordingly, in self honesty, make sure that I am able to practically stand for eternity, as the decisions as who I am, in self trust, despite of the frictions, conflicts and disagreements that may emerge in my world and my reality.

As I write, I experience nausea just above my solar plexus, more to the heart area and when I spoke the word "fear" the nausea became more dominant which confirm that it is in fact Fear that I'm experiencing.

The fear is in the nature of expecting the worst as part of the decision making because in essence, I'm dealing with changing who I have become to Who I am as Self trust as a decision, that decision of standing in the face of existence as self trust implies that I change, that change, wouldn't necessarily be accepted by the people in my world and my reality and may cause friction and conflict as they will want to keep me as a character - a character of self doubt, indecisionness, inferior so that their world will be safe and sound and none will be forced to change with and as me.

So How has the system supported me in making decision in self doubt and why is it that we were not supported to make decisions within and as the principle of that which is best for all and absolutely trust ourselves within and as who we are, in self trust? And how, to practically assist and support myself to stand in absolute self trust within and as every moment of every breath?

Despite the fact that I've never been really punished as a child, was never physically abused as a child, I've still made my decisions in fear. For me, the emotional manipulation was far worst than a fear of physical abuse/punishment because other's emotions were always my directive principle and I was easily allowed myself to be manipulated/influenced by it.

I was always very reactive to other people body language, emotional reactions and I was willing to diminish and compromise myself for the sake of 'peace' within my relationship dynamics with people in my world and my reality.  But, is it really so? Was it a peace that I was seeking for or the rewarding experience of a 'feeling' good/right? Was the reward a  point that I placed trust in?

It is becoming clear now that I've place trust in anything and anyone who provide for me the experience of reward. Either as energetic experience via a positive affirmation/validation of me or either through a material rewards that I've got because I was apparently "good".

Am I willing to stand in the face of existence, in absolute self trust no matter what may come? In the face of a conflict, friction and disagreement and trust myself within who I am as the directive principle of myself and my world? Am I willing to stand without any energetic movement when and as the other did not agreed with me? Am I willing to Change?

Will continue in my next blog.

In my 30's and without Money - Day 78

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to believe I'm a complete fuck up because I had the possibility to make money in this world; I have all the qualities and skills that require to become a successful business woman in this world and yet, I don't have money. Within that, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to be clear within my decision to stand no matter what for a world that is best for all because if I would have stood in absolute clarity, I wouldn't have participated in this type of back chat to the extent of absolute petrification when and as I was asked - "Where do you see your financial status to be in the future - what steps are you making now to secure your potential financial status effectively in the future?"

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to access my preprogram belief that I must have money by the time I reach my 30's and if I still don't have money in my 30's I'm a failure and a big disappointment to myself and my family that gave me everything I require in this world to have a decent job that will secure my financial future. Within that, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to look at the obviousness wherein the physical evidence is that the Majority of the people in this world that are in their 30's and above  do not have money due to a world system of corruption, greed and abuse that we have all equally accepted and allowed to be the norm and so, in looking in common sense and the equation, being with no money in one's 30's of one's life doesn't define one as a failure but we can actually conclude that the current world system is a failure.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to doubt my decision with regards to my path in this ONE life time when and as I was asked about my future stability with regards to Money because I've not sorted out/deleted the inherit pre-program design that I've imprinted into my Flesh wherein, by my 30's I must be financial stable and thus, I stand here, in absolute clarity, that I will WALK and MOVE and DIRECT myself according to one principle - That which is best for ALL LIFE as I see, realize and understand that the path that I freely chose to walk, to bring about a world that is best for all, was the only decision that I have even made that was actually my own. I see, realize and understand that the steps that I'm making now, will be a stepping stone for the next generation to come.

I commit myself to come to clarity with regards to my future, where I'm going to place myself, how I'm going to support myself and how am I going to practically walk the decision. I commit myself to look at all the possible out come for what ever decision that I may decide so that I can stand in absolute self trust with what may manifest within myself and my world.

I realize that this decision is not to be taken likely and self honesty is required as this decision will influence not only my life but the lives of others.

I commit myself to support myself in writing, investigating all the preprogram patterns, beliefs, networks that I've imprinted into my flesh as the sin of the fathers so that what ever I decide, will be absolute free choice that has nothing to do with anything and anyone but a pure principle - Life that is best for all.

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that if I allow myself to become absolutely petrified from projecting a future to come, my decision wasn't clear, stable and absolute, and thus, I require to assist and support myself with writing it all out, walk all the future possible outcomes and stand clear in each and every one of them so that I can trust my decision to walk in this ONE life time and direct myself and this world towards a world that is best for all wherein I give up everything that I've defined myself as because in self honesty I see that it's not everything that I give up - it is actually to give up Nothing (the illusions of the mind) for Everything (LIFE).

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to feel shame that I don't have money in this world because according to my preprogram design, I should have had money and if I don't have it by now , I'm no good, a failure, a disappointment, worthless and useless. Within that, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to access Shame even though I "know" better - where I see the entire time line that brought me into the experience of shame and yet, I have allowed shame to manifest within and as me. That shows the extent of the preprogram design into one's physical flesh as well as how extensive the brainwash as the preprogram is. Thus, it takes self will, dedication, and absolute self honesty, to step out of one's preprogram life and actually stand up for LIFE that is best for all because the principle of oneness and equality and what is best for all, wasn't part of the pre-program design and the decision to stand up for life, is the only decision that can be made in absolute Self Will, Free choice and self honesty.

I forgive myself that I haven't realized the extent of the challenge that this process will be, where I will face myself and all that I've become, I will face resistance by society, I will face abuse by society, I will face my pre-programmed designs and even so, I commit myself to stand within ONE single principle that is my directive principle - I stand for LIFE that is best for all and do what ever it takes to bring about a world that is worthwhile for everything and everyone.

I forgive myself  that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see the "Time clock" design where when one reach a certain age, the design activate and one start comparing oneself to the norms of society that one is coming from and accordingly, access fear, frustration, petrification, self judgement etc. within that, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to question that phenomena and simply taken it for granted to the extent to which, when and as I accessed the design, I have accepted it as myself and went along with it.

I commit myself to expose that extent to our brainwashed/pre-programming where specific patterns are activated when specific words/pictures are being spoken/seen. And I commit myself to stand as an example that the pre-program can be de-program and re-program according to principle of Oneness and Equality as I walk and share my own process of how I'm supporting myself to step out of my pre-program designs/patterns and change myself accordingly. A book that I suggest reading - Virus Free Mind By Bernard Poolman

Trusting my experience - Day 63

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to trust my past memory experience within the belief that the past experience will repeat itself and according to the energetic charge that I've defined the experience as, I will either feel excitement (if the charge is Positive) or I will feel anxiety/fear (if the charge is negative) and I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that so long as I trust the experience and define Who I am as the experience, I am not living LIFE but rather living my perception of LIFE that is limited to the extent to how I've separated myself from myself and this world as a whole.

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize how limiting it is to only defined myself according to a few feelings/emotions as a reflection to how I've defined the energetic charge such as: excitement or Anxiety/fear as positive and negative respectively, is just a minute and limited expression of who I am as LIFE within and as myself.

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that so long as I give permission to my mind to tell me how to experience any given moment according to the energetic charge of either positive or negative within and as a past memory experience, I'm not in fact LIVING.

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that by holding onto the past memory experiences within an energetic charge, Positive or Negative, I'm limiting my moment to moment living self expression as who I am and within that, not accepting and allowing myself to Physically LIVE so long as I bound-to and prisoning myself within my own self created past memory experiences that control, enslave and direct my expression as Who I am.

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize how the energetic movement within and as my human physical body changes and alters according to the memory experience that I've associated to any given moment meaning - if I experience positive energetic charge within me, there is a memory that is associated to the point I'm facing, a memory experience that I've defined as positive and if I experience a negative energetic charge within me, there is a memory that is associated to the point that I'm facing which I've defined as negative.

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see how within my self, I trust that the a future experience  that I'm expecting to have will manifest exactly as I imagine/plan it to be and within that, not giving myself the permission to practically live as I leave a very small space to experience a real and physical experience than what I wish to experience as a self interest desire and thus, if things go well as expected, I will be satisfied and if something will go 'wrong' I will become frustrated and start to manipulate myself and my environment in the attempt to reach the experience that I've yarn for from the get-go.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to attempt and control an experience within any given moment without seeing, realizing or understanding all the relationships that are involved within my desire for an experience and within that, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that what I'm essentially trying to control is the relationships in my life through shaping, molding and manipulate the beings involved so that I could have my self interest experience manifest according to how I want to experience it and thus they must submit to my wants and needs and provide me with their presence MY experience and if they failed to give me what I want, I will end the relationship and start seeking after for the next relationship that will give me the experience that I'm looking/desiring for.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to trust the emotions/feelings within any given experience and I haven't seen the relationship between the experience and the energetic charge that is aligned/attached/connected with the experience and within that, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize how limited my expression is within any given moment through me attaching/aligning each and every moment to a past memory experience that I have defined within and as energetic charge, either positive or negative and accordingly, move and direct myself as the experience instead of walking breath by breath, here, and letting go energetic experience connection after connection until it is done.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to have refused to give-up my trust in a mind energetic experience and to instead, establish self trust that is based on a practical physical realty within my breath by breath living application.

I commit myself to be attentive to any single energy movement within and as my human physical body - Positive and Negative and to investigate the origin/source/core of the energy movement as I see, realize and understand that any energetic movement is in direct relationship to an experience that I've defined myself according to, that is limiting my self living expression within and as the physical reality.

I commit myself to investigate each and every energetic experience that I've programmed myself throughout my life to define myself as and respectively, stop my participation within and as energy, Positive and Negative within a breath by breath process, until it's done and I'm absolutely aligned to the physical that consist of and exists as all that is here in oneness and equality.

I commit myself and give permission to myself to LIVE as who I am within and as my self expression and to stop dictating my life according to experience that I dearly trusted thus far and to instead, establish absolute self trust within and as myself in any given moment.

I commit myself to walk memory experience by memory experience within a process of self forgiveness in self honesty and to delete all association/definitions/connections that I've accepted and allowed within and as myself because I see, realize and understand that so long as I accept and allow the experience to tell me who I am and within that, abdicated my responsibility to move and direct myself breathe by breathe, I'm not in fact LIVING life that is best for all but rather attempt and try to live the LIFE that is best for me in absolute inconsideration to everything and everyone.

I commit myself to stop direct and move myself according to an expected experience and within that, stop existing within a polarity that is defined according to the velocity of the energetic charged that I've charged myself with.

I commit myself to face within myself, in writing the experiences that I've defined within a negative charge and have thus, tried to avoid and suppress the experience so that I won't have to face, investigate, correct and change because I see and realize that so long as I allow myself to avoid and suppress, I'm not in fact that directive principle of myself and my world as I'm bound to how the mind direct me, in separation of me.

Art Design – Sally Wiseman

The Death of Experiences - Day 58

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that when I hear another's past experience description, I associate the description with my own pre-program designs as the desires of energetic experiences and thus, come up with a conclusion of how I would experience the experience within myself to the extent to which I will allow myself to direct my life in the attempt to get the perceived experience  with no directive awareness of 'Who I am' in every moment of every breath.

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that any experience that one is seeking and desiring for is due to one's past:  either through one's own past memory experience data base that one is holding onto or either for example, when one has heard another's description of an experience which then thus, one has associated it with one's own pre-program information data base, shaped and mould the experience within one's own frame of reference and eventually, imprinted the desired experience into one's flesh. Within that, I forgive myself that I haven't seen, realized or understood that those pasts memory experience imprints are controlling and enslaving our present and Future instead of us being the directive principle 'HERE' walking our living physical expression in every moment of every breath according to that which is best for all.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to have failed to see that desire for an experience is always contain with self interest where one will first consider oneself and disregard everyone else as long as one can hold onto a momentary illusion of energy high, despite of the fact that once the energy high will fade away, one will remain with an unfulfilled experience of oneself and will immediately seek for the next self interest energy source to feed self with. 

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that within my pursuit of self interest desires/experiences, I'm abdicating my responsibility to walk with and as myself breath by breath as a living expression of who I am with no strings attached to my past, present or future.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to fear letting go the desire for an experiences because that is the only thing that I've known myself to be and I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to take a moment and test the point for myself and see who I am as an undefined expression of myself.

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see that 'who I am' as an accumulation of desires for specific types of experience is not a physical living  expression of LIFE but rather a zombified expression that is limited to a programed memory data base that I lived out in automation state with no directive awareness.

I forgive myself that I've not allowed myself to realized that who I am as energy is not real, it's not LIFE and unless I stop that illusion of me as energy desires for experience, nothing of me will remain when I die as energy can last for so long before it diminish.

“Unless the past pass over -- you will pass over before the past is over”  ~ Bernard Poolman

  (for further context, read this blog - Day 56: The Past is Over)

I commit myself to remain in breath when and as I hear another experience and to not accept and allow myself to drift off into my own mind in the attempt to associate that which I hear to my own memory data base and connect my inner desires to the word that I perceive I'm hearing, as well as, not accepting and allowing myself to imprint the discussion into my flesh as the desires that I have within and as myself and I therefore, support myself to stop creating and recreating  the desires as energy experiences within and as myself.

Within that, I commit myself to stand in breath when and as I'm communicating with other people and to not accept and allow myself to direct myself within the conversation through past memories data base but rather direct myself as who I am, as unconditioned/unlimited expression of myself.

I commit myself to stop the inner desires of energy experiences within and as myself and to rebirth myself as the physical expression of who I am that is not define in anyway according to Energy. and to do that, I commit myself to investigate the creation of myself as energy experience through looking at why/where/when/how I've lost myself to energy and accordingly walk the correction through self forgiveness application in self honesty.

I commit myself to transform my inner self interest desires to practical and physical action which support everything and everyone within and as the principle of that which is best for all and those actions can be cross reference and measured according to the affect/outcome.

I commit myself to for give myself an eternal LIFE that is Physical, constant and infinite by investigating every aspect of me that I've defined according to energy experience, let it go, correct my living application through a process of self forgiveness in self honesty.