losing yourself in the realm of validation - Day 471

This is a blog response to the blog - Day 528: The Value of Validation by Activist's Journey To Life.

 

"In terms of my own experience, I can now clearly see the benefit of my dad's actions. He only would congratulate me or tell me he was proud when I actually accomplished something of note, and even that was not so much a "congratulations" but more of an acknowledgement of what I had done and a reflective discussion. I have to almost laugh - it is so difficult to describe how he would talk to you and bring such clarity to a point - I feel as though my words fall short. He encouraged me to do what I enjoyed simply because I enjoyed it. He did not tell me how great I was for actually doing something, he would just say "cool" - while on the other hand every other adult kept pushing the "well done" button, not realizing that in doing so they were creating the perfect habitat for dependance to take hold, which causes the desire for validation to outweigh the point of self expression."

 

A few years ago, I was playing with my nephew when he was 2 years old or less. We were outside at my parent's house and the kid started to investigate the miracle of a 'ball'. Lol - miracle because for children, an object that they are exposed to for the first time, it is like magic - they are exploring its component, shape, abilities and every moment is an experience that is so profound. So - when he realize that he can also use his legs and kick the ball, I was standing there, and without awareness of what it is that I'm actually doing, I accessed an automated preprogramming where I cheered him up every time he kicked the ball - you know - high pitch sounds of "wow"; "well done"; "you are the best" combined with lots of positive energies.

 

I didn't realize  at that moment that I am busy conditioning his expression within his relationship to the ball whereas, I created a moment for him to 'please me' when he kicked the ball because every time he kicked the ball, I cheered him up and if I said nothing, he just stood there, looking at me, expecting to receive a form of feedback,  rather than simply enjoying expressing himself with a ball and exploring what the ball and he can do with/for each other. So long as I participated with giving him positive feedback, he played with the ball. The moment I stopped, he stopped.

 

The interesting thing was that when he explored other things like for instance, gardening, he did it for hours - just him and the tools, the grass, the flowers, the leafs, the water - he was stoppable - really was enjoying himself with all that was there. No one gave him positive or negative feedback in relation to gardening and so, he could continue doing it for hours because the experience was not  conditioned to any sort of energy - it was simply a physical expression of enjoyment in exploring, discovering gardening/nature.

 

When I read the blog: "The Value of Validation" - the memory above came up - it was the first time that I realized how adults are influencing the child's self-expression by conditioning the expression to be dependent on specific result; Result as in how the adult reacts to a specific expression that the child is experiencing - If the adult react positively, the child will continue expressing themselves in the same way so that they are able to be rewarded with the positive feedback (Energy) they received from the adult and if the adult react negatively, the child will either stop expressing themselves completely (Suppressing themselves) or the child will express themselves secretly.

 

The thing is - as we grow up, we conditioned ourselves to other peoples' feedback and we completely disregard the questions - who am I in relation to this experience? Am I enjoying myself? Am I doing it for others? Am I doing it to please the adult? Am I doing it for myself? Why am I doing it? Is it supporting me and/or others?

 

I was one of these kids that wanted to make my parents proud in all ways possible and therefore, I would only do what I perceived to make them feel proud of me; and the things that would make them feel ashamed of me - I kept in secret or suppressed. Within that, I lost myself from the perspective of neglecting or avoiding doing the things I enjoyed doing as an expression of myself, and doing only that which will give me a reward, a positive feedback. It is quite sad when I look at this point - losing yourself in the realm of validation and positive feedback - I guess we were all conditioned to behave that way - we mold ourselves according to the feedback we get from our environment, generation after generation. I wonder how much more we can give to each other if we would change that preconditioning inside ourselves and support the children to discover self expression, self enjoyment. 

 

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Art work: Dottie Gleason

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A year or writing - Day 365

If anyone would have told me that I would, in some time in the future, be writing in English or even in Hebrew, for more than a year, every day, or almost every day, I would have said to them that they are crazy and there is no way in hell that I would be able to write so much.

Writing for me isn't something that came naturally, I was never known as a writer or someone who likes reading/writing but, here I am, writing for 365 days my journey to Life blogs.

 

I always had resistance to write, resistance to read, resistance to push beyond my accepted limitation because from my perspective, if I could have achieved something easily, than there is no point in push myself or to try harder to perfect the results. In my educational years, as long as everything came naturally and easy for me, I was the best that I could be and the moment things started to be hard, I automatically gave up on myself so that I won't have to face bad results. Little did I understand that everything was easy for me so long as my vocabulary was sufficient enough to be able to express myself but as I grow up, my vocabulary dropped in comparison to those with excellent vocabulary and because the problem was not understood, my solution was to drop out from everything that is challenging and to only walk the points that I can easily excel in.

 

But than came Desteni and I couldn't use my excuses of self limitation because I started to know better and I could only do that through reading and writing. As I've said many times before, this process that we are waling doesn't include any form of quick fix, there is no easy way out - it is a challenge, it takes a lot of self will and determination, it takes time and patience but today I can stand and say that if one dare oneself, one is able push through one's accepted limitations and to in fact expand oneself, one's understanding of oneself, of this world and human behaviour overall through the gift of writing. This is also why I'm so grateful I have people who walk this path with me as we encourage each other to break through the self created limitations and so, support not only ourselves but each other as a group.

 

Recently I pushed through my belief that I'm too old to learn new words and to improve my writing skills in English and I was astound to realize how easy and fun it can be to learn new words and actually integrate the words into my physical body so it can actually stay there for me to easily recall the words when I want to and with an awesome technology that is based also on the principle of Writing as a physical integration, I am now able to support myself in expanding my vocabulary and so, slowly but surely communicate and express myself in ways I wouldn't imagine possible for me.

 

Alright, so this is my yearly report of writing myself to freedom and I'll continue tomorrow with the question: Who is Responsible for our Children's Education?

 

The Correction Process and The Desteni Message (Part 3) - Day 200

 

 

Preprograming Explained

 

This is a continuation to:

The Correction Process and The Desteni Message (Part 1) - Day 198

The Correction Process and The Desteni Message (Part 2) - Day 199

 

Please read this the blog before reading the following blog to make sure you understand the context.

 

 

I remember, as a young child, my parents preference was that  I wouldn't be exposed to the 9 o'clock News playing on TV. They Preferred that by then, I would already be asleep and wouldn't have to face the 'Grown-ups' reality, news reports about War, Crime, Child abuse, a woman being Raped, a neighbour being Killed etc.

From their point of view, they believed they are protecting me from this world and what this world has to offer and wished they could postponed my encounter with the physical reality as much as possible, when I'm prepared to handle the ugly truth.

 

There were nights that I didn't fall asleep by the time the news was on and I could hear pieces of information and it is interesting because when I look at it now, through bringing these memories 'Here' - I can hear specific words  that were Extremely emphasized by the News broadcaster; Words like 'Murder', 'Arabs', 'War', 'Gun', 'Gaza'. And through these words, and how the broadcaster also used specific voice tonality when speaking these words, I literally Experienced Fear within and as myself which from there, every time I heard these words for instance, an experience of Fear emerged from within and as me, unconsciously; and this Memory of me as a child, overhearing the News, knowing that it is not for a child's ears and I'm lying in bed, shit as hell scared in bed, is activated as a picture in my mind that I carry till this day.

 

It is not surprising that as a grown-up, I tried as much as possible to avoid listening to the news and develop complete ignorance regarding History, Politics, Economy as well as world wide events.

 

If we have a look at the Time Line of Events that had formed my relationship to the News, we would be able to see how I've designed and shaped my life (or in other words - Pre-Programmed my life) based on accumulation of Memories as follows:

 

-> Parents do not allow me to watch the news

->-> I don't understand why I cannot stay up and be with my family when they watch the
        news.

->->-> When I asked 'Why', I've been told it is not a show for kids but only for grown ups.

 

-> One night, I couldn't fall asleep

->-> and I went to the living room to be caressed by my parents.

->->-> While walking towards them, I stopped in front of the TV screen

->->->-> because I saw explosion of something and there was grey cloudiness going up from
              the explosion trigger point, up to the sky.

->->->->->I never seen anything like that before

->->->-> the way the news broadcaster speak,

->->->->-> I could tell it was nothing good (Positive) and something bad happen

->->->->->-> So I asked my father what's going on

->->->->->->-> He said to me that I shouldn't watch this, it's grown-up stuff, not for kids.

->->->->->->->-> And he would really appreciate if I won't watch the news.

->->->-> The Experience within me was of so overwhelming and I felt Fear

->->->->-> Because I couldn't understanding what's going on

->->->->->-> and knew that what I was just exposed to was bad (not Positive).

->-> So I went back to my room but still, couldn't fall asleep

->->-> I could still hear some of it from my bedroom.

->->->-> and specifically I could hear Words that I associated with Negative Value

->->->->-> Meaning, the Broadcaster emphasized and used specific tonality when speaking
                  the words: 'Murder', 'Arabs', 'War', 'Gun', 'Gaza'.

->->->->->-> I experienced extensive FEAR within and as me

->->->->->->-> I feared that I might get exploded one day.

 

-> A few years after

->-> When my Younger sister was about the same age I was in the night I described above

->->-> I had a dream

->->->->  that Arab people are in my Sister's kindergarten

->->->->-> and they were shooting everyone that were there.

->->-> After School, I went to my Sister's Kindergarten to make sure she is alright

->->->-> and I would deliberately, from that day, went and checkout if my sister is fine before
              heading home.

 

-> As I grew up

->-> I developed the habit of not watching or reading the news.

->->-> Which result also with feeling inadequate when other people would speak about
            world events and politics.

->->->-> I couldn't commit myself to study the History that lead to our current world wide
              events

->->->->-> because I didn’t want to watch or read the news

->->->->->-> I rather do something Fun instead (Justification)

->->->->->->-> and besides, there is nothing I can do to assist and support the world with

->->->->->->->-> I'll focus on that which will benefit me in MY future.

 

As you can see, the Above timelines show a few of the consequential outflows that had emerged through my perceptual reality, from the night I experienced Fear, for the first time, towards the PICTURE that I've seen on the TV Screen and the WORDS that were spoken by the broadcaster which resonated Negativity as Fear within and as me which then together with my perceptual reality, I created the Experience of FEAR within and as me as MEMORY, when ever I heard words like 'Murder', 'Arabs', 'War', 'Gun', 'Gaza'.

Meaning, my First encounter with the Experience of FEAR as an Experience towards listening/watching the News was part of my programming of how I would direct myself later in my life when specific Words activated the Memory that I carried within and as myself which instantaneously, I accessed the Experience of Fear.

In Other words - Through that Memory that I Stored within and as myself, of the Experience of Fear, when listening/Watching the News, I contributed to my Programming to always react in FEAR when and as I hear the words 'Murder', 'Arabs', 'War', 'Gun', 'Gaza' which manifested the unconscious resistance to watch/listen to the News, later in my life,  where I had believed that it is simply not my preference (as justified to myself within the timeline above) and in that, never realized that I had accepted and allowed myself to completely ignore and deny the News in getting to know what is really going on in this world, Investigate the details, the relationships, the functionality of this world, why it exists as it is, why people are suffering and so on. Because, I've Preprogramed myself to always react in FEAR when what I hear/read/Watch is in alignment to what I had defined as Negative.

It is only in a much much later stage where I started to ask these questions but that was through the assistance and support I had received in investigating the Desteni Message and within that, the Principle of 'Investigate ALL things and keep that which is good for All.

 

In the blog The Correction Process and The Desteni Message (Part 1) - Day 198 I've shown how one create the ‘Experience’ as a positive or negative experience towards the Physical reality’ through the Value one had assigned to what one Perceive reality to be. Within this blog, we went one step further in understanding that the Value one assigns, meaning the positive value or the negative value that one assigns to experiences / memories, towards one’s perception of reality IS how one program’s oneself as the acceptances and allowances of how one perceives this reality to be.

 

The Desteni Message is Parallel to the Experience we have when watching the News for Instance, it is not oriented towards the fulfilment of one's Desire for a Positive Experience as it is not what we have Programmed ourselves to align ourselves with. I Mean, who doesn't have a Negative Experience towards listening to the News? Who like hearing the news about how much corruption and abuse and suffering exists in this world? Who Enjoy listening to it? No One.

Thus, I understand that When reading through the Desteni Material and the Journey to Life, that is being walked by the Desteni Members from all across the world, one may react in a Negative experience because, what is presented is NOT aligned with the Positive Experience we Seek to have, from the perspective of our preferences of what we would like to read, hear and watch. However, our Preference is our Pre-Programmed Design that we have created within and as ourselves, already at childhood, while having no clue of how we have actually created our preferences.

 

However, as I've mentioned in my Previous Blogs - the Desteni Message is neither Positive or Negative - it is about seeing directly reality as what it is, looking at the core/source/origin/Root of the Problems that we are currently experiencing as Humanity and accordingly, Move towards a correction that would result in a best for all outcome.

 

If one have a look, in self honesty, what we present is the actual, real truth of what is going on inside our minds as individual and what is going on in this world as a whole.

For Example:

The Heaven's Journey to Life describe in detail the Existential seeing of the reality beyond and within the Mind and the Physical.

The Earth's Journey to Life walk you through the Various designs/components of the Personalities/characters we have created within and as ourselves, in the most simplistic way that everyone can relate.

The Creation's Journey to Life will guide you, in a process of self education, towards seeing directly the Physical reality as it is, through exposing the Nitty Gritty of our individual and collective acceptance and allowances.

The Activist's journey to Life is a commentary perspective regarding the Daily world's events

The Economist's Journey to Life will guide you through the ins and outs of how our current Economic structure and what is really behinds the Scenes that most people are not aware of.

The Psychologist's Journey to Life specifically shows how One is able and capable in being one's own Psychologist when facing with one's reality and how to practically work with what is Here, in our day to day living application, to self perfection in applying self correction.

 

As you investigate these blogs, the Material Desteni is Providing, you'd noticed, that we are not just showing the problems, we are presenting a solution within a process of correction of all the points that individually and collectively had part in the creation of ourselves and this world as we know it today.

 

Will continue in my next blog.

A Solution for effective Relationships - Day 150

This is a continuation to:

The Importance of Physical Communication - Day 148

Not everything revolved around me -  Day 149

 

I commit myself to push myself to become effective in my communication with other human beings because I see, realize and understand that for effective relationship with other beings in my world, the communication must be specific and direct so that no misinterpretation may occur and  we stand in alignment within each and every Living word we speak.

 

I commit myself to SHOW the relationship between our ineffective world where we allow the abuse of each other, the suffering of many and extensive harm of our plant, with our ineffective communication within ourselves and each other.

 

I commit myself to STOP having inner conversation with other beings in my mind and instead, I transform all mind communication to Physical communication wherein, when and as I see that I'm reacting towards another human being in my world and therefor, having communication with them in my mind, I stop and investigate the point within and as myself by turning the point back to myself and align myself to that which is here and accordingly, when and as I see that this point require physical correction, I direct the point within and as myself as well as, if I see that the point must be communicated within and as the principle of what is best for all as unconditional support, I take a breath, I make sure I'm here, stable, no energy movement, clear within me and I directly communicate the point with the being, not accepting and allowing myself to remain in my mind, having conversation with the being in my mind wherein I know where it would lead and what would be the consequences of this ineffective communication.

 

I commit myself to STOP expecting others to know what I'm speaking about inside my mind, with myself, and accordingly, expect them to make their best to make me feel good within and as myself. I see, realize and understand how I've sabotaged, compromised and abuse the relationships in my world through developing and establishing a dependency on others to fulfil me, to complete me and to comply to my wants/needs/desires and essentially, stand in alignment to my own self interest in my quest to fulfil my desires. Thus, when and as I see that I'm the inner movement of expecting others to do something for me, to support with my own self interest for a specific experience, I stop, I breathe, I turn the point back to myself, to see where I'm not standing in alignment with and as myself. I correct myself through a process of physical self forgiveness in self honesty and if I still see that I require support, I directly communicate the point with the being.

 

I commit myself to stand in absolute stability within and as myself when communicating with another human being and regardless of their actions, I will not accept and allow any energy movement to emerge within and myself. I see, realize and understand that I'm Here, able and capable to assist and support myself in every moment of breath and thus, when and as I'm receiving feedback from the other human being, in direct communication, that the being cannot at the moment stand within the point I ask them to support with, I accept and respect their feedback and not allowing any form of manipulation to get them to do what I desire/want/need them to do as that would indicate that I'm not clear within and as myself, that I'm not trusting my own self application and that essentially, I've separated myself from myself and the other and accordingly, I stand, assess, investigate and correct myself through and as principle of equality and oneness.

 

I commit myself to stand within and as the principle of give as you'd like to receive regardless of other beings actions within and as themselves as I see, realize and understand that unless I stand, myself, within and as the principle of give as you'd like to receive, I'm not in fact standing as an example for others to assist and support themselves as well, in transforming and changing themselves according to that which is best for all. In this, when and as I see myself expecting others to give me as I would have given them, I stop, I breath and I correct myself in that moment of breath as I see, realize and understand that my starting point within giving wasn't absolutely unconditional as I hiddenly expected them to give me something in return. 

Not everything revolved around me - Day 149

This is a continuation to:

The Importance of Physical Communication - Day 148

 

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that unless I communicate with the beings in my world and come to an agreement with them on each and every single point, there is no way they would stand in alignment with me.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to NOT realize that for effective relationship with another human being, communication must be open and expressed as this world is clearly showing us the consequences of ineffective relationship where beings are NOT communicating physically with each other but rather having constant communication with themselves in their mind, with no alignment to each other whatsoever.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to expect someone to do something for me when and as I've not directly communicate and discussed the point with the being and I haven't realized that unless the communication would be steadfast, direct and open, there is no way to establish a supportive relationship with a being that would be based on principle of oneness and equality.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to believe that another may know what I require/need/desire/want without me directly communicate the point with the being and within that, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that even myself is not aware of my requirement/needs/desires/wants due to the extent separation that I've allowed within and as myself and therefor, there is no way another can know what I do not myself.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to be frustrated and angry about another human being that didn't stand according to my desires while I was busy manipulating the communication without being direct within the communication, expecting the other being to comply to my needs, to know what I want from the being; in this, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to turn the point back to myself to see that I am able to assist and support myself in any given moment, in every breath and essentially, do not require another to do something for me to make me feel good about myself.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to NOT realize that other human beings are not directly communicating with me when I'm having conversation with them in my mind and have no idea regarding my thoughts, inner conversations, backchat, reactions and unless I first sort myself out and stand stable within and as myself in self honesty and communicate physically with the other human being, our relationship wouldn't cease to exists the moment my inner thoughts/reactions/backchat would accumulate to the extent of me developing resentment towards the being and break of the relationship.

 

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that having conversation with other human beings in my mind indicate that there is something I'm not aligned yet to, within and as myself and thus, I must first stop, take a breath and investigate that which I've accepted and allowed myself to participate with, in separation of myself, direct and change myself and only than, if still required, I direct the communication physically, with the other human being from the starting point of assistance and support of both of us, equal and one.

 

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see how and why I've accepted and allowed myself to sabotage and compromise my relationships with other human being in my world through accumulating backchat/reactions towards them without turning the point back to myself to see where I have not being honest with myself and blamed/judged the beings without seeing myself within it and because I didn't want to take the responsibility to change myself, I preferred breaking off the relationship, hoping my backchat/reaction would disappear only what I've not realized was that the backchat/reaction would always be there, cycling from one relationship to another, sabotaging one relationship after the following one, unless I stop, sort out myself and align myself to myself, my world and existence as a whole.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to feel anger and resentment towards a being in my world whom I perceived that one could have done something for me, according to my eye's views, and yet they didn't and I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realize that they couldn't have done this thing for me unless I directly communicate the point with them, looking together if the point is practical, supportive for both and in alignment to where we are in our current process and within that, coming together to an agreement on that specific point, making a decision together, decision that is based on support of the physical rather than support the mind as to fulfil one's inner desires/wants/needs.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to believe that beings in my environment must comply to my wants/needs/desires even when I'm not directly communicate about it and ask them for support. In this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to believe that this world is revolved around me and everyone must live their lives according to my best interest. In this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to NOT realize that I must stand within and as the principle: give as you'd like to receive regardless of whether or not others are walking the principle themselves as I see, realize and understand that when I stand according to principles of give as you'd like to receive, I also stand as an example for others to transform and change themselves according to that which is best for all however, I cannot expect anyone to stand within and as a principle of equality and oneness unless I stand first, in every moment of every breath, stable, sound and clear within myself.

Sexual Expression – Overview Day 112

This is a continuation to:

 

Suppressed Expression Character - Day 101

Suppressed Self Expression - The beginning of the End - Day 102

Singing Expression Character - Day 103

The Shyness Character - Day 104

The Shyness Character - Self Forgiveness as the parent - Day 105

The Shyness Character - Self Commitments Statements - Day 106

Singing Expression - Self Forgiveness - Day 107

Singing Expression - Self Commitments - Day 108

 

 

Within this blog, I will be looking at the relationship between children and parents and how one evolved one's sexual expression from early childhood years into adulthood.

 

As a child, one do not attach, define or associate one's sexual organs with sexuality. When one touch oneself, as a child, one does it for only ONE reason - it is enjoyable, exactly like adults enjoy the touch of one's sexual organs. Only later on, Morality kicks in and the parents forbid the child from touching oneself from various types and forms of opinions, beliefs and ideas. In Essence, the Parent reacts to the Child's expression and with having no effective parenting skills education in this world, the parent isn't aware of the consequences that emerged from the first moment of reaction.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that Parents are not Instructed how to Instruct Children and are thus Not Qualified to be Instructors and are thus Destructors that will even Defend their Right to Destroy their Children in spite of the Fact that if one’s not Trained in Effective Direct Instruction, one is in fact Not Qualified to have Children under one's Supervision and would Never Employ someone Unqualified to do a Job - yet the most Important Job on Earth, which is to Instruct Newborn Children, is allowed to be Instructed by Unqualified, Inadequate Trainers - resulting in a World where No One is in fact Ever Qualified or Instructed to be part of a Society that is Best for All Present on Earth; and Although lip service is paid to Ideals like ‘Love thy Neighbor as Thyself’ it is Never Actualized as the Parent as New Life Unqualified Instruction Never Learned the Practical Implication where ‘Love Thy Neighbor as Thyself’ actually Exists. Bernard Poolman - http://creationsjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/08/day-110-children-are-not-born-with.html

 

I have no idea whether or not I have been touching myself as I was a young kid, I can only remember the time I became aware of what I was doing and with that, came guilt, embarrassment and shame; and so, I stopped. Obviously, no one explained to me what I'm experiencing, no one walked me through the understanding of Who I am as my physical body and so, only occasionally, I would touch, just to see how does it feels because it is enjoyable, you cannot ignore something like that; I couldn't also ignore the feeling that I'm doing something wrong, so I did it secretly, while I was in the toilet room when no one was around to question why it takes me so long to get out of the toilet room. In my eye's view - I was doing something I shouldn't speak about, shouldn't be doing and I might as well keep it to myself because after all, it is my PRIVATE organs. Lol.

 

So, why is it that it is wrong? What is the difference between touching one's hands and touching one's 'sexual' organs? Why is it that we have accepted and allowed the touch of our nose/face/hands as normal and validated and the touch of our sexual organs as wrong, immoral, forbidden?

 

Where did we learn it from? Who expose us to this moral polarity? Why is it that we have accepted and allowed ourselves to separate ourselves from our human physical body organs through giving a different values to specific organs? Why is it that we have lived inside our mind, having ideas/opinions/beliefs about our bodies and haven't stood in equality and oneness with our human physical body? Have we born separate from our human physical body or is it programs that we have installed within and as ourselves according to our environment?

 

It is no secret that our parents teach us every thing that we are and are basically, shaping and moulding our characters to be aligned with theirs however, it was us who accepted and allowed all of those characters as who we are and in that, made the decision to separate ourselves from ourselves and become an automated memory based machines. It will then, be us, who must re-birth ourselves through daring looking inside ourselves, through all the things we have been taught to suppress; it will be US that will take the responsibility to disengage from who we have become, to be able to see who we really are. There is no point in blaming others for our faulty creations of ourselves because doing so, it is do abdicate our responsibility. Blaming is done when one isn't willing to change oneself in fact; What was done is done. Our Future though - is ours to write, as it will be measured according to what we will accept and allow, and what we won't.

 

Will Continue investigating this point and assist and support myself, as well as others to uncover the suppressed Sexuality that we have defined as wrong.

For further perspective and understanding what is Sex and Masturbation, I suggest listening to the EQAFE interview series:

What is Sex and the Shocking Secret of Masturbation.

 

 

Singing Expression - Self Commitments - Day 108

This is a continuation to:

Suppressed Expression Character - Day 101

Suppressed Self Expression - The beginning of the End - Day 102

Singing Expression Character - Day 103

The Shyness Character - Day 104

The Shyness Character - Self Forgiveness as the parent - Day 105

The Shyness Character - Self Commitments Statements - Day 106

Singing Expression - Self Forgiveness - Day 107

I commit myself to SHOW that one of the dimension of suppressed Expression character within and singing, is the creation of the Shyness character which one have created through the acceptance and allowances of Past Memory Experience that one has stored in one's mind.

I commit myself to SHOW how we store picture inside our mind and how through those pictures, we make the decision of who we are in any given moment as automated compute characters without seeing, realizing and understanding that within that atomization of ourselves, we are not really Living within and as the physical reality but rather, living within an illusionary reality where we allow abuse and suffering of ourselves and each other as a protection mechanism that is based on self interest desire for an experience as energy. In this, I commit myself to SLOW myself down to be able to identify the pictures that I've stored in my mind as I see, realize and understand now the consequences of my permission to create myself as a picture in my mind and how through those pictures, I'm diminishing and suppressing who I am as a physical living being. And accordingly, when and as I see a picture in my mind, I identify the picture, investigate the origin of the picture and through a process of self forgiveness, I delete the picture and stand HERE, Breathing

I commit myself to When and As I see myself participating in comparison, to STOP, BREATHE and no accept and allow myself to follow the comparison thoughts as I see, realize and understand exactly where the thoughts will lead me - towards a stupidity cycle where I will utilize the comparison thoughts, to become jealous at others, to judge myself and through the negative energetic charge, attempt to raise my energetic vibration through becoming spiteful towards others in my mind, to elevate myself and as I'm now in the positive energetic charge, the diminishment character will step in and take me back to the negative charge. And so, as I see clearly the energetic cycle that can only exists when and as I allow comparison to be my directive principle, I STOP, and no more accept this shit as me. Till here no further.

I commit myself to stop jealousy towards anything and anyone within and as myself because I see, realize and understand that those whom I jealous at, have walked a process of perfecting their skills and accordingly, standing as an example that anything is possible if one will dare oneself to invest the time in oneself, to practice, educate and improve oneself within and as this space/time reality.

I commit myself to SHOW that when and as we accept and allow ourselves to suppress our expression as who we are, we are in fact sabotaging our human physical body because when we are busy with suppressing who we are, when we are busy walking as characters, there are changes and movement within and as the  physical, movement that create pressure on the physical organs, which we take for granted as if it is normal because we have slow ourselves down to see the consequences that we are accepting and allowing within and as our human physical body.

I commit myself to stop placing Value in what others think or say about me because I see, realize and understand now how the mind works and functions a character upon character creations that one is creating to maintain and sustain one's own desire for an experience and thus, I give myself the permission to express myself as who I am, in any given moment; I give myself the permission to direct and move myself according to what is here, what is practically and physically available in this physical reality; walking according to what will be the utmost effective support for myself and others within the Equality Equation.

I commit myself to SING as me as self expression and to stop my own self judgement based on comparison, and values that I've placed in separation of myself. I commit myself to stop the Shyness Character when and as I sing and thus, I move through the character, I let go of the my own judgement, I let go of the fear of how others will see/think of me. I give myself the permission to STAND as who I am, as self expression and ENJOY myself.

Singing Expression - Self Forgiveness - Day 107

This is a continuation to:

Suppressed Expression Character - Day 101

Suppressed Self Expression - The beginning of the End - Day 102

Singing Expression Character - Day 103

The Shyness Character - Day 104

The Shyness Character - Self Forgiveness as the parent - Day 105

The Shyness Character - Self Commitments Statements - Day 106

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to create the Shyness Character when and as I'm about to move myself and sing, as self expression, here, and I haven't realized that the Shyness Character that exists according to past memory experiences, is the character that I've abUSEd to diminish and suppress my expression within and as singing and thus, so long as I accept and allow the shyness character to dictate who I am and Self expression, I'm not in fact a physical living human being but rather an automated organic robot that works and functions based on past memory experiences.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to hold onto a picture in my mind of standing in front of an audience, on a small stage, Immobilized, frozen and hell scared and anxious and I haven't realized that as long as I hold onto this picture, I will not move myself and express myself in singing, as who I am within and as breath and in this, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see my starting point with creating and holding on to this picture in my mind, and how I've (ab)USEd this picture to suppress myself, as self expression.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to compare my singing skills to others and within that, created an idea that only those who are capable of singing "beautifully", according to my eye's view, can sing out loud in public and those who didn't develop these skills, are better off singing only to themselves where no one can hear them and within that, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to create an idea in my mind, of what is a valid singing and what is not and through this idea, I've participated in Comparison in my mind, of myself to others and others towards myself as the idea in my mind, not seeing, realizing and understanding that this idea that I used to compare with, is the stumbling stone that I've set forth for me to suppressed my expression within singing.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to experience jealousy towards those who are freely singing and within that, I haven't seen the process that they have walked to perfect their skills, the time they invested in practicing and thus, I haven't considering the step to step process that those people have walked to perfect themselves; instead, I've accepted and allowed myself to immediately go into reaction as jealousy, not seeing, realizing and understanding that instead of investing my time in creating jealousy within and myself, I can walk the space time process of improving and establishing my singing skills through the example of others.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to continue suppressing my own self expression and within that, deliberately ignore my body as the experience of discomfort in my entire physical body and specifically in my throat and front thighs as they all of a sudden constricted when and as I'm suppressing my physical movement as singing expression and not giving me the permission to sing;  in this, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand how I'm accepting and allowing myself to abuse myself as my human physical body, when and as I accept and allow programs/characters to automated run and decide for me who I am in every moment because I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realized that those programs/characters can only exits because I'VE created them as ME, as my own Decision to diminish and suppress myself as life that is Here in any given moment and through not seeing the physical changes, I allow my human physical body to be stressed and constricted which put pressure on my human physical organs and in essence, sabotage my body's systems.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to create the Supressed Singing Character within and as myself because I believed that if I would, I would be able to fit in with specific groups of people that think it is uncool to sing and I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realized what they have accepted and allowed within and as themselves as the Suppressed singing character and in addition, created the: "I'm so cool" character to hide the fact that they are accepting and allowing themselves to suppress who they are. However, because I haven't accepted and allowed myself to investigate the character creations within and as myself, I've copied their character as equal and one as me. Within that, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to trust who I am in every moment of every breath as the expression of who I am and accordingly, have accepted and allowed myself to create myself as characters to be able to be accepted and validated in my environment, not seeing, realizing and understanding the consequences of my doing - becoming automated organic robot that works and functions in absolute ignorance of who I am as Life that is here.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to direct and move myself according to how my environment sees me and accordingly make the decision to suppress myself because I've placed value in other people's opinions, thoughts, judgements and haven't accepted and allowed myself to move and direct myself according to what is here, as the physical reality, but rather, accepted and allowed myself to move and direct myself according to the illusionary reality of and as the mind of myself and others.

 

Also read:

The Self Diminishment Character - Day 94

They are Better than me, I'm so fucked up - Day 95

Taking responsibility for my creation - Day 96

The Shyness Character - Self Commitments Statements - Day 106

This is a continuation to:

Suppressed Expression Character - Day 101

Suppressed Self Expression - The beginning of the End - Day 102

Singing Expression Character - Day 103

The Shyness Character - Day 104

The Shyness Character - Self Forgiveness as the parent - Day 105

As well as:

This is a continuation to the Blog post:

The Self Diminishment Character - Day 94

They are Better than me, I'm so fucked up - Day 95

Taking responsibility for my creation - Day 96

I commit myself to SHOW that it is possible to understand and see how our children creates their characters that will become an automated expression of themselves as they grow older through firstly get to know ourselves as our characters that we have created for ourselves, walk through the character with the assistance and support that was shared in Earth's Journey to Life blog: Day 51: Moving through my characters and once we have seen how we have created our characters, we could stand as a support for our children and walk them through their own self change to rebirth themselves as LIFE as who they are.

I commit myself to SHOW that the Shyness Character is a defence mechanism for one to not face one's reality wherein one would utilize the past memory experience of feeling safe and guarded by the parents when one was clinging to one's parent's legs and thus, we associated the experience of safety and guarded with Shyness and accordingly, accessing ourselves as the mind, when we feel threatened by our environment.

I commit myself to SHOW that it is our responsibility as parents and future parents to stand in absolute stability, self honesty and self trust in every moment of every breath so that our application, of who we are as LIFE that is best for all, will set the example for those who would come after us; to give them a chance to be and become an effective human being in this world; give them a chance to express themselves as who they are without multiple characters that would dictate them who and what they should be to survive in this world.

I commit myself to SHOW how we imprint memories and integrate them into our flesh and accordingly, we live as a memory, not fully aware of ourselves and existence as a while and thus, so long as we live and exists within and as a memory, we are not LIFE in fact, we are not our directive principle as LIFE that is best for all and thus, I commit myself to assist and support myself to delete the multiple characters that I've created through memories integration, and to stand as a support for others, through my writings, so that eventually, we could all step out of our characters, and stand up as LIFE, create our LIFE within and as principle that is best for all.

I commit MYSELF to stop following the Shyness Character that I have created and become and accordingly, when and as I see myself accessing the Character, I slow myself down, Breathe, move through the backchats, emotions and feelings, move through the physical resistance and give myself the permission to simply be HERE, express myself as who I am and to no longer accept and allow myself to diminish myself through utilizing the Shyness Character that would bind me to a stupidity loop of self limitation, self sabotage and self compromization.

I commit MYSELF to STOP and STOP and STOP comparing myself to everything that exists because I now see, realize and understand that unless I compare, my character won't have energy to exists. I see, realize and understand now how I've trapped myself into and as multiple characters through comparing and competing with others as I've not gave myself to permission to TRUST who I am in every moment of every breath; I've NOT gave myself the permission to expand, grow and empower myself from the example of others because I was busy comparing myself to them.

I commit myself to INVESTIGATE and IDENTIFY the Inferiority Character that I've become through a process of writing, Self Forgiveness and Self Commitment Statements.

I commit myself to PUSH myself from my mind and into the physical and to REBIRTH myself as the Physical, as who I am, as LIFE that is here in every breath.

I commit myself to INVESTIGATE and IDENTIFY the Blaming Character that I've created and become through a process of writing, Self Forgiveness and Self Commitment Statements.

I commit myself to a Process of Discovering myself as EXPRESSION of Life as who I am through Identifying the multiple characters that I've created to trap myself inside my mind, inside my human physical body through investing the time in myself, by committing myself to writing, until I'm clear of characters/personalities, until I'm HERE, as Life that is best for all.