Changing the Human Nature - Day 89

This is a continuation to my blog:

Humans are so fucked up - you cannot trust anyone - Day 88

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to give up on Humanity within and as the statement: "Humans are fucked up - you cannot trust anyone" and I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that all along, I have accepted my limitations, my programming and the design that I've created myself within and as and I have allowed the limitation, programming and design within and as this world, as equal to and one as me and through my acceptance and allowances, I directly responsible for us as humanity, in our current nature/design because I haven't take my own responsibility of stepping out of that which I've accepted and allowed myself to be and become in separation of me, stand as an example that a change is possible and that the only reason we won't allow ourselves to change is because or our self interest nature which blinds us from seeing clearly what we have ignored and disregarded from the beginning of time and how through our ignorance, we have accepted and allowed ourselves to create and manifest a world as it is exists today.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself as the giving up character, to use, justify and make excuses of why I cannot change because changing would mean to let go of the character that I've created myself as, in separation of me and within that, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to forget that I was the one who created myself as the human nature, and that I was so powerful that I've even created the forgetfulness character so that I can make sure, that I will never bring myself back to myself within and as equality and oneness as LIFE that is best for all.

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself and this world as equal and one to realize, understand and see that so long as I accept and allow the evil secret mind that I've become in absolute equality and oneness and therefore, have accept and allow spiteful thoughts, jealousy, comparison, competition, judgement, diminishment of others in my mind, I cannot be trusted to the extent to which - if I think, I can't be trusted and within and as equality and oneness fuckupness - I cannot trust any one who accept and allow thoughts to be one's directive principle in separation of oneself and this existence as a whole.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to be petrified to face myself as my mind, as what I have accepted within myself and this world, and thus, the easy way out if through stating that the human nature will never change and within that, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to give my power away within the desire to belief that the human nature cannot be changed as I've abdicated my responsibility to test for myself whether I can change and stand as an example that the human nature can be changed.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to justify why I'm not willing to face that which I've accepted and allowed myself to be and become within and as the statement: "the human nature cannot be changed" and furthermore, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to hurt, harm and kill anyone who dared to stand up and prove that change, within and without is possible.

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see that I'm EVIL in fact because I accept and allow myself to participate within and as my evil secret mind, judging, spiting, competing with everything and everyone: my best friends as well as my enemies and I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realize that unless I take the responsibility to in fact face myself and all that I've accepted and allowed within myself and within this world, I'm directly responsible for the abuse that manifested within and as this world.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to use the excuse: If I stop my mind, I will become a zombie" and I haven't taken the responsibility to test and confirm that excuse/belief for myself because within and as me I already KNEW and didn't want to face that stopping the mind is the KEY, stopping the mind is an extensive process that one has to walk in absolute self dedication.

I commit myself to show that a change is possible through my 7 years commitment of writing. And so, through writing myself out, I stand as an example that a change is possible because I've committed to myself to never give up on myself, as I see, realize and understand that giving up on myself means that I'm giving up on LIFE that is best for all.

I commit myself to show the stupidity loop that we have created as ourselves wherein us as the creators of the multiple characters within and as ourselves, also created a character to forget that we are in character and so, me within and as my powerfulness, have created a loop where we could never get out of, unless we do, through taking the responsibility to let go of all our characters, to download the program of and as LIFE that is best for all into and as our physical flesh and change who and what we have become to and as a principle of LIFE that is best for all.

I commit myself to show and expose that Trust cannot exists as long as one THINK. We have created a world based on thinking and it is clear that we haven't done a good job. Our relationships with others are based on thinking and it is obvious what goes on inside one's mind towards their beloved one. (if one dare to be self honest and admit to oneself the actuality of what I'm writing here)

I commit myself to SHOW and PROVE that when stopping the mind, one doesn't become a zombie, as I'm walking my own process of stopping the mind and it doesn't seem that I'm becoming a zombie but quite the opposite - fully expressive, A LIVE and functioning.

Humans are so fucked up - you cannot trust anyone - Day 88

From time to time, I hear the statement - "yes, it is fucked up, it's human nature, there is nothing we can do about it. We simply cannot trust anyone, there are people that will stab a knife in your back the moment you turn around, there will be those who will rape the neighbours daughter, there will be those who will murder the prime minister, there will be those…" and the list goes on and on and on.

However, what is fascinating is that within that statement or various types of statement within and as the nature of the statement above, one has already given up on humanity. One has already given up on the possibility to change human nature and simply accepted within and as oneself and allowed within and as this world, the fact that the human nature is so fucked up and there is nothing we can do about it.

But is it in fact so? Is it the human nature that cannot be changed or is it me that will not dare myself to change? I will vote for the second option as I've seen within and as myself the extent of self will that one must become for one to absolutely change one's preprogram design / the human nature.

Ok, so yes, we cannot trust anyone in this world but that is not because of who they are - it is because who we are within and as our own human nature/preprograming. Why?

Let's do an exercise - imagine a person you dislike. What are the thought you have about him/her? What is the nature of the thoughts you accept and allow within and as your mind? Can you see it? Not so pretty hay?

but now you will tell me - well, I don't like this person because of this and that and you will justify why it's ok that you have accepted and allowed those thoughts towards this person because I mean, that’s what everyone does when they don't like someone, nothing wrong with me disliking someone, so stop with your stupid questions.

Let's continue with our journey into the mind and now - imagine your best best best best friend in this world. Ohhh, that's nicer, it feels good now within and as yourself. I understand. BUT, your very best friend has now disagreed with you and a friction manifested; You'll have to become self honest now, to be able to answer the following question: What is the nature of your thoughts towards your best best friend now? What memories from the past did you bring to this moment of friction that have been suppressed until this very moment of friction till you burst all out and took all the shit out.

So you see, I wouldn't trust you as my best friend exactly as I wouldn't trust you if you were my biggest enemy so long as I know what's going on in your secret mind; and the only reason I know what’s going on in your secret mind is because I'm exactly the same as you, within and as the human nature that I've accepted and allowed myself to be and become. Meaning, as long as we THINK, we cannot be trusted and the only way we can be trusted by ourselves and others is when and as we stop thinking.

 

When we say that the human nature cannot be changed, it is ONLY because we don't want to change within and as ourselves, simply because we have never known ourselves otherwise. We believe that we will become zombies if we stop the mind but we never actually decided to test the point for ourselves to see if there is any ground to our belief. I mean, if it comes to the point that you would become zombie when the mind stop and you stop thinking than, go ahead and start thinking again. It is very simplistic.

The only way to make a change in this world, is to first stop our own evil secret mind that continuously think 24/7 non stop. We judge others, we judge even ourselves; we are jealous of others; we compete with everything and everyone for our own limitation; we're spiteful towards each other; would you want to be in relationship with yourself when you SEE very clearly what's going on in your secret mind towards those who are in relationship with you? would you want to be in relationship with others when you KNOW what is the nature of the thoughts they have towards you in a moment of friction? NO! and yet, we accept and allow it.

To be continued with a practical support within and as Self Forgiveness statements and Corrective Commitment - the tools of Stopping the mind and becoming LIFE that is trustworthy.

Establishing Self Trust - Part 1- Day 85

It has been very clear today, within myself, that I've not yet established an absolute self trust within myself and I see now that what ever I worked with thus far, needs to be re-walked when and as self trust will be absolute within and as myself. So, I'm taking a moment to look at Self Trust and the Decision of who I am as the expression of self trust.

From a very young age, within me, there was always a sense of doubt even in times that I've presented myself as clear, stable and comfortable within who and what I am;

In every decision that I've made during my life, it was always in dependency to how others perceive, allow or judge me and only when those component where aligned with my decision, I could experience myself as if I've made the "right" decision and respectively, if the others didn't approve/allowed the decision, I would experience inner turmoil as if I made the "wrong" decision.

It is fascinating how my decisions were always in alignment to the voices in my head where I played all the possible scenes, people, possibilities and have discussion with them, still in my mind, to justify why the decision that I'm about to do is the right thing and I planned in advance their reactions and accordingly, discussed that with them, in my mind, to prepare myself to face the friction/conflict which obviously, it never worked out because in the moment of conflict, I was never stable within and as myself, always defending my decision, trying to prove that I'm right.

I have never considered that doubt can only emerge when and as my decision isn't clear within and as myself as well as not trusting who I am within the decision and stand stable despite of other people opinions and reactions. I have never considered that If I'm planning to make a decision in the future, I'm not in fact changing as the decision was somewhere in the future and only when I decide, I will change. Thus change, wasn't really a part of the equation within the decision making so, did I really ever change or only created a character that have changed one's suit?

So, throughout my life, even when my decision didn't stand the accepted social norms and yet, I've made them, doubt was a constant experience. Like despite of me walking my decisions, still back chats, inner turmoil, inner conversation with other beings in my world was allowed within and as myself which reveal one very obvious point - self trust as who I am, wasn't established/lived which questioned all and every decision that I've made thus far.

And thus, back to the drawing board so to speak and walk the time line of all the decisions that I have ever made allocate the starting point, look at the information that I was working with in order to make a decision, what memories was part of the decision making and accordingly, in self honesty, make sure that I am able to practically stand for eternity, as the decisions as who I am, in self trust, despite of the frictions, conflicts and disagreements that may emerge in my world and my reality.

As I write, I experience nausea just above my solar plexus, more to the heart area and when I spoke the word "fear" the nausea became more dominant which confirm that it is in fact Fear that I'm experiencing.

The fear is in the nature of expecting the worst as part of the decision making because in essence, I'm dealing with changing who I have become to Who I am as Self trust as a decision, that decision of standing in the face of existence as self trust implies that I change, that change, wouldn't necessarily be accepted by the people in my world and my reality and may cause friction and conflict as they will want to keep me as a character - a character of self doubt, indecisionness, inferior so that their world will be safe and sound and none will be forced to change with and as me.

So How has the system supported me in making decision in self doubt and why is it that we were not supported to make decisions within and as the principle of that which is best for all and absolutely trust ourselves within and as who we are, in self trust? And how, to practically assist and support myself to stand in absolute self trust within and as every moment of every breath?

Despite the fact that I've never been really punished as a child, was never physically abused as a child, I've still made my decisions in fear. For me, the emotional manipulation was far worst than a fear of physical abuse/punishment because other's emotions were always my directive principle and I was easily allowed myself to be manipulated/influenced by it.

I was always very reactive to other people body language, emotional reactions and I was willing to diminish and compromise myself for the sake of 'peace' within my relationship dynamics with people in my world and my reality.  But, is it really so? Was it a peace that I was seeking for or the rewarding experience of a 'feeling' good/right? Was the reward a  point that I placed trust in?

It is becoming clear now that I've place trust in anything and anyone who provide for me the experience of reward. Either as energetic experience via a positive affirmation/validation of me or either through a material rewards that I've got because I was apparently "good".

Am I willing to stand in the face of existence, in absolute self trust no matter what may come? In the face of a conflict, friction and disagreement and trust myself within who I am as the directive principle of myself and my world? Am I willing to stand without any energetic movement when and as the other did not agreed with me? Am I willing to Change?

Will continue in my next blog.