How one THOUGHT can influence the course of your Life - Day 508

A point opened up today when talking with a friend about how one single thought, during the formative years, can influence the way we move and direct ourselves in our reality. It is interesting how us grownups, do not take into consideration how our words and deeds influence the people around us and especially children, who takes in the information so literally and make instant decisions about who and what they are accordingly.

This can be anything from - "why are you so slow in doing your homework" where the child now believes that society sees them as slow learners and this is now how they define themselves as who they are; or - "look at this girl, she dance so funny" where the child now realizes that when you place/express yourself in public, you will be judged by others and so you need to really be self-conscious about every move you make to make sure you give no reason for anyone to judge you - Here a potential decision that the child may make is to limit and contain their natural self-expression within the fear of being judged by others; another example - "look at your brother, how successful he is, I am so proud at him" where the child now feels that they must compete with their siblings so that the parent won't be disappointed with them and now the child will decide to suppress their natural skills and only work with what they believe would make their parents happy with them.

I've been looking at my own reality and how through one single statement that was spoken to me when I was a child, I made it so absolute in my mind to a point of suppressing my natural expression in public. I remember as a child how much I enjoyed dancing and I never had issues with dancing around other people, performing and participating in shows until one day where I was watching dancing performance that my friends participated in and my brother was sitting next to me and made a negative remark about one of the girl's dancing ability and in that moment, a thought came up - "what if other people were also judging how I danced". It was the first time that I actually considered the possibility of people judging the way I danced.

From that moment onwards, I developed a high sense of 'self-conscious' thought pattern when I was around other people - I didn't want to dance, I didn't allowed myself to sing - things that I really enjoyed expressing, I believed that I could no longer do/express. Every time the opportunity to sing and specifically dance came up, the memory of that day where my brother judged my friend's dancing ability came up, as a reminder that I must not express myself in public if I don't want people to judge me.

Fascinating enough, when no one was around and I was all alone - I would secretly put on the music and dance. It is quite ridiculous if you think about it - me naturally enjoying to express myself through dancing and yet, allowing one thought memory to influence me to such an extreme where I believed I cannot express myself through dancing when people are around.

Later on in life, going out clubbing with friends became part of my reality but to me.. That was a nightmare - I just couldn't dance - this one thought, about the possibility of people judging me like how my brother judged that girl, prevented me from expressing myself through dancing. My friends pushed me to dance and the more they pushed, the more I resisted dancing because now, if I dared and danced, all the eyes would have been on me and the possibility of me being judged was on the line. The only way I could get myself to dance was by having lots of alcohol so that if anyone judges me, I could blame the alcohol. So for couple of years, I danced and hit the dancing floor lol but, under the influence of alcohol so in essence, I wasn't really expressing myself but allowed the alcohol to take the directive sit of my expression whereas even under the influence of alcohol I was very much self-conscious about my dancing movement and the people around me.

As I grew up of the alcohol and clubbing scene, I decided to stop having alcohol completely and without alcohol, I stopped going clubbing because I believed there was no point to it meaning, I knew I will not dance without alcohol.

Couple of years after, my roommate insisted that I come with her to a party and obviously, I refused but she kept on pushing because she knew how much I enjoyed dancing as she was the only one I shared my secret dancing sessions with and every so often we played music in our house and 'secretly' danced.

With her pushing me to come with her when she went out I eventually did go dance with her one night and with her support, I danced, still very much restricted because now, in my mind, I had to also let go of the connection I created previously between alcohol and dancing. After couple of years and lots of Self-Forgiveness in investigating all the lines of information, emotions, feelings, pictures and memories that I created in my mind, I reached the point where I allowed my natural expression to come through around other people where I no longer have that thought memory from my childhood governing who or how I express myself.

So parents and adults, It took me over 20 years to move past the point from when my brother made that remark to where I am able to fully express myself in dancing. We really have to be aware of the words we speak around the children, to be aware of the influence we have on their life within the decisions that they make, based on what they hear or observe us doing. If you haven't already, I suggest listening to 'Parenting - Perfecting the Human Race' to support you with preventing such moments that can lead to your child making life decisions they would rather live without.

The Effect of ONE single thought - Day 470

It is interesting how sometimes we have a thought as a reaction within ourselves but we got so used to these type of  thought as a part of who we are and so, when the thoughts comes up inside ourselves, we do not question the thoughts as we believe these thoughts are valid and thus, no flag point are coming up for us to unconditionally investigate the nature of these thoughts, the source of these thoughts, where did it come from, why did it come up, what activated it, what behavior pattern the thoughts are based, who we are in relation to these thoughts and so on and so forth.

 

So for example with myself, I remember waking up one day, grabbing my cell phone to check my e-mails and a thought came up: "But why no one directed the point already" as a reaction within myself however, I did not identify the reaction within that thought at all, it was sooo normal, there was no obvious energy movement inside - like another normal day started type of thing.

 

As I moved with the day, I decided to direct the point myself because I am walking the 'direction' process now whereas, if I see that something needs to be directed, I stand up within the realization that it is my responsibility, as the one who saw the problem,  to move myself to direct the solution.
 

All this time, I did NOT see that there is a reaction within myself, it was very very subtle which is interesting because usually, when I am reacting, the emotional body is activating very quickly but in this case, there was no emotion that I could see/feel inside myself at all.  I mean really, this point was so specific - what happened that day - I projected my thought/reaction from the moment I woke up onto someone else without consciously being aware of it - the entire day I was under the "impression" that another have had a slight reaction within themselves and I kept on asking them what the story was all about lol. I kept on asking the person if there is anything that they slightly reacted to today because from my perspective, I was "certain" that I "saw" in this person a slight reaction in how their expression changed during the day. Lol it is fascinating - I couldn't pinpoint the type of reaction that I have "noticed" in them but I was absolutely certain that they are acting strange as if they are slightly reacting to something or someone.

 

This person kept on saying that they looked at what I was saying but they didn't find any reaction inside themselves so I  let it go for a moment because I didn't see it as a big point to pursue. Later on, I saw the person in my environment, and I again "noticed" a slight reaction within the person so I kept on pushing the point with this person.

 

By evening time, I had a look at my day so far because it didn't make sense to me as to why I am seeing a reaction in another while they are in self honesty did not react inside themselves. So I had to first turn the point back to myself and check whether I'm actually projecting my 'slight reaction' onto another without seeing that all along, I was the one who was slightly reacting.

 

When I turned the point back to myself, I looked at the entire day until I got to the first thought I had when I woke up - the thought that was based on a reaction of "But why no one directed the point already". It was so interesting because this 'slight reaction' as a thought - I completely missed;  as you could read in my previous blogs, the pattern that I played throughout my entire life was to shift my responsibility towards others to direct points for me a I defined myself as incapable/weak to direct some points myself.

 

The pattern of shifting responsibility to another contained thoughts like: "why this was not directed? Why does this person not directing the point already" as how I shifted my responsibility and justified it in my mind, not seeing, realizing and understanding that in fact, me having the thoughts: "why this was not directed? Why does this person not directing the point already" was actually me asking myself why did I not direct the point"?  "Why did I haven't yet taken my responsibility to direct a point?.

 

So, because of reactions are/were  an integral/interconnected part of who I have defined myself as, I didn't see the thought as a reaction at all and I didn't see how I was in a state of reaction throughout the day. From my perspective, I believed that I toke responsibility for the point when I directed the solution so inside my mind, I couldn't use the thought: "Why it was not done/directed already" because as far as I was concerned, I was directing the point earlier that day. But - the reaction that I activated in the morning, with one single thought, continued very so slightly the entire day.

 

This in itself led me to the question - did I even direct the point effectively if I was coming from a starting point of reaction, even if it was just a slight reaction?

Getting to know the mind is a fascinating process - how quickly in our mind we react - showing the interconnectedness of the Mind Systems and the level of specificity we must get with ourselves to ensure we have not miss even one breath and actually directed ourselves and our environment to the best outcome.

 

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Art work: Dottie Gleason

And again… - Day 276

Today I've noticed an interesting Design that I've accepted and allowed myself to participate with. In the last few days, I was resonantly possessed. I didn't slow myself down enough to specify the possession in assisting and supporting myself to step out of it and thus, it had slowly but surely accumulated till there was no more excuses and justification to not sort this out.

 

It all started last week when we had a power cut for 3 days and I couldn't participate with my regular daily responsibilities which caused a lag throughout this week, after the power came back. I'm still pushing to catch up on all the points but I haven't got to everything because my normal routine is quite hectic in itself and to add to this 3 days of no work is almost impossible but absolutely doable.

 

Yesterday, around the evening, the possession started kicking in  but I was so busy that I couldn't find a moment to investigate it properly. I had an idea of what it is all about but I haven't made the directive decision to in fact step out of it but instead, decided to suppress it for a moment without considering the consequences that would manifest with such deliberate suppression.

 

I woke up today in tremendous irritation to the extent of reacting to whom ever was in my direct view. It didn't take long to see that the possession is now very much defined and has to do with self validation.

In my mind, I started to Compare myself to others, trying to justify why I should feel sorry for myself and how unfair it is that I don't have a moment for myself for more than a week. I blamed myself for the decisions that I made throughout the week and the Extra Responsibilities that I took on. When I realized that I'm busy comparing, I directed myself to STOP but, it came up again. And so I stopped again, and it came up again. It was round about 3-4 hours until I could STOP in a moment of absolute decision to stop. 

 

I reminded myself that I've seen this character before, that I've walked the entire personality system in specificity and thus, it was time to apply the Practical corrective application and to literally Stop. But it didn't stop because I've missed a point/layer within this personality which is Competition for Self Validation.

 

Have a look at how manipulative is this design -

When I compared myself to others, I was actually competing with Others in my mind in looking at who is better than me, who is lesser than me; Who is Superior to me and who is Inferior to me; in that, I could place me on a polarity scale and stand in a position of being MORE than and accordingly, secretly accept myself as worthy. It was such a secret that I it didn't even make me feel better lol - I was still irritated, angry and frustrated.

(The story of how I practically assisted and supported myself to step out of the repetitive thought pattern will be shared in blogs to come as I see now that there is more to investigate and I require deep self introspection, which I will first walk for myself, in making sure that the pattern is in fact deleted and I haven't created another entity for myself.

 

What I am able share today is some rhetorical questions that I asked myself through which I could see the stupidity that I've accepted and allowed myself to participate with.

So I asked myself: how is it possible that you have placed yourself as more than in your own mind and yet, it didn't change the internal experience? What worth does superiority has if inside, I feel like shit, irritated, angry and frustrated? What does it shows about WHO I AM if and when I accept and allow myself to only validate me through competing and comparing myself to others? What does the back chat expose about my starting point of what I do as Who I am?

 

The reason why I used the word 'Rhetorical' is because the answers to these questions are very clear to me. The Real Questions that I'm yet to answer to myself in self honesty are WHY and HOW it is that I didn't stand as the directive principle, as a decision, as breath and STOP the participation in the thought pattern the first moment I saw myself accessing this time loop?

 

I'm aware and understand that there are Mind Systems that works in the background and support the possession that I was in. fine. I cannot use it as an excuse though and I will not justify myself through the systems because who if not me were the one who accepted and allowed such systems in the first place?

 

So, this blog is not the end of the story but the tip of the iceberg. It is up to me now to make sure I walk through this point because I really had enough from me repeating the same patterns that do not support myself and others in any way whatsoever.

So stay tuned as I commit myself to further expand on this point, first with myself and when I have absolute clarity, I'll share.

 

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Note, the Mind system that I was referring to can be studied by listening to:  Quantum Mind - Self Awareness - Part 43 that was done yesterday, along with Quantum Systemization Repetitive Thought-Pattern Control System - Part 13

 

    

            

Facing the Evil within - the KEY to Self Awareness - Day 188

This is a continuation to:

 

The Elite's delusion of stress - Part 1 - Day 45

The Elite's Delusion of Stress - Part 2 - Day 46

The Decision of TIME - Day 67

 

And:

 

This is a continuation to:

Copy Paste Character - the Way for Success? - Day 183

Copy Paste Character - The Education System - Day 184

Is it possible to Cheat yourself? Day 185

It is time to STOP Existing as a Human Machine - Day 186

The End of Times - Day 187

 

 

 

 

And watch my Vlog - Day 187 - EVIL – Journey to Life

http://youtu.be/2A5pXxFNqdc

 

 

As I was writing for myself the Dimensions of the 'I don't have TIME' character: Fear, Thoughts, Imagination, Back chat, reactions and physical behaviour, an experience of Shame or more specifically, a reaction of shame was coming up from within me. I came to realize the nasty, evil and spiteful shit that I've accepted and allowed within and as myself and how I channelled this evilness, spitefulness and nastiness through blame and projection towards others.

 

The Fascinating point that I've realized through walking this point was that - unless I face the Evilness, Spitefulness, Nastiness that I've already become, there is no way I would become aware of the totality of myself. What we usually tend to do is to justify our own nastiness, spitefulness and Evilness that we have become, through projecting and blaming others and within that, suppress/ignore/deny our real beingness, our real self that must be faced and change.

 

The key to LIFE is through facing our Evilness - Desteni had said that many times before but no one listened; I never listened because - facing the Evilness that I've become would imply that I would must admit to myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to stand as Evil towards myself and my world and within admitting that, I must face the consequences and become OK with the fact that I'm not a good person as I deluded myself to define myself as.

 

So, I commit myself and will myself to face the true nature of what I've become as EVIL.

Understand, there is no Judgement within my words as in self honesty - I trust myself to sort out what ever I face as I stand up, I correct and I change. It is also quite clear now that there is no single man alive that isn't Evil from the inside, it is a contagious disease we are all carrying, generation after generation, denying, ignoring and suppressing who and what we have become, despite of seeing clearly how this world had become and this world, must have been created through and by Evil and the continuation through accepting and allowing the world to continue as it is, implied, show, reveal and expose our Evilness - blinded so completely, looking and seeking for our own good feeling, our own happiness, regardless of the lives that are in suffer, day in and day out. Accepting and allowing another human being to suffer as a result of a world system of abuse, corruption and greed, is accepting and allowing our Evilness nature. The world system is a direct reflection of who we are in our very beingness because who we are is defined by what we accept and allow and what we would not within and as the principle of what is best for all. The moment we have accepted and allowed ourselves to ignore, deny and suppress the Evilness without, we accepted and allowed the Evilness within which that had created from the get go, the Evilness without. So, here comes the Question - The Chicken or the Egg. However, answering the question of what came first, the chicken or the egg is irrelevant as we already lives and exists within and as the manifested consequences  of our acceptances and allowances of the Evilness - within and without.

Facing ourselves as the EVIL within, is a crucial point in one's Process because unless one face the entirety of oneself, and not only the part of oneself that self doesn't like - there is no way that self get HERE, as absolute self awareness in and as the physical.

What self 'like' and 'dislike' is a question that one must ask oneself - whether what we like and dislike are in fact what we like and dislike or a direct result of our upbringing/programming? Is it really that I don't like something or I simply fear facing and finding out for myself? Is it really that like something or is it that I have a memory experience of being validated/appreciated as external positive feedback that cause me to 'feel good' that makes me then like a specific thing?

 

So - lots more to walk and face within our Journeys to Life. It is TIME to face our true nature, our real beingness and from within that - change and correct. It's time to be aware, so absolutely, that we will never again, accept and allow ourselves to abuse and sabotage ourselves, others and existence as a whole.

 

 

Bring the point back to self - Day 141

To understand the context of this blog, please read first - Who will take the blame - Day 140

 

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to react in anger towards those who cannot hear the message of what is best for all in general and the EMS in particular and within that, I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that each one of us is a victim to our own brainwashed programming that we have came to be and accordingly, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to remind myself that it also took me a physical space time application to be able to hear the Desteni message and re-educate myself.

 

I see, realize and understand that it will take time and consistent application to educate the world within the principle of what is best for all and I realize that when and as I react and not standing in stability as the directive principle, I'm directly and indirectly, sabotaging not only myself but the beings I communicate with as I'm not standing as unconditionally support for them to be able to hear the message through placing myself in their shoes, equal and one, to see where they are within the existential process and direct the point as effective as possible, breath by breath.

 

I commit myself to when and as I see myself reacting in anger towards those who do not agree with EMS, to Stop, to Breathe, and to see where the being is in their existential process. I give myself the permission to remain quiet or to speak directly according to what I see would be the best in that moment as I see, realize and understand the programming that involved and what is require to be done in order to assist and support the beings I communicate with.

 

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to experience inferiority when and as people that I communicate with justify their point of view with history and because my knowledge and information about history is lacking, I experience myself as adequate to communicate and explain the EMS message.

 

I now see, realize and understand that the Living experience of this current world is the consequences of our acceptance and allowances throughout history and therefor, we are the living memory of our History. Within that, knowing the details of the History is irrelevant because what is relevant is that which is here and there is no doubt that what is here is not a world that is best for all.

 

I commit myself to when and as I experience inferiority within and as myself due to having lack of knowledge and information about History when communicating about the EMS, to stop, take a breath and remind myself that we are the living memory of our history and what is require to be done is change the current living experiences of this world as it is not a world that is best for all. Within that, I commit myself to direct the communication with Common Sense, step by step according to the equality equation which means that when I communicate with people that disagree to the EMS, to walk with them the common sense time line through which they would be able to see why and how the EMS is the only solution that is possible on earth as the initial step to bring about a world that is best for all.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for not being able to bring through a direct communication that people would see the common sense in the EMS and within that, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that the reason why I wasn't able to bring through a direct communication with regards to EMS was because I wasn't standing within and as myself, as communication but rather, tried and attempted to justify and defend myself, as I accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from what is here as well as the people I was communicating with by missing a breath.

 

I see, realize and understand that when I miss a breath and communicate in separation from myself through reaction, I compromise myself, the beings I communicate with as I've abdicated my responsibility to stand in stability, common sense living application, breath by breath and direct the moment effectively.

 

I commit myself to when and as I see myself accessing a defensive mode within my communication with other beings, to stop, to breath and direct the moment as effective as possible according to what is see as best for all in every given moment.

Who will take the blame - Day 140

 

 

For context, please read Day 139: The Rapture and True Activism

 

Today I had a conversation with relatively, very rich people. They were asking me what am I doing on the Farm, what is our agenda, how are we going to pull it through and so on.

The interesting point was that no matter what I've said, they would come up with excuses and justification for why it wouldn't work, why I should focus on charities and medical aid in small villages in Africa and why am I wasting my time while I could do something else.

 

The point where I stopped the communication was when I've noticed that they are trying and attempting to find blame/fault in others for why they wouldn't change and stand up if others won't change and stand up because if they would change and stand up and others won't, others would use and abuse them according to their eye's view.

 

So who will take the Blame? Who will see and realize it is those who can hear the message that must stand up, regardless of whether or not others would change? Who would take the blame and bring it back to self and become a living example in this world? Who would allow oneself to see what self has accepted and allowed in this world and accordingly, walk the path into correction, internally and externally?

 

It is all about rewards and what we will not do because others won't do. Unconditional walking was never part of our living application. Why is it that 'what is best for all' is not part of the education? Why is it that all we ever taught was to take care of our assess while always finding something to blame for our experiences and the experiences of others?

 

In my next blogs, I will walk the Self Forgiveness application in relation to my reactions towards in my environment who would disagree and dismiss the EMS and Desteni and within that, turn the point back to myself. Because what is clear is that if I were stable within and as myself, I wouldn't react in my communication and was able to direct the point regardless of the others' words and deeds. I suggest also reading - Equal Money System? No… It's not going to work  - Day 60

 

 

Suppressed Self Expression - The Beginning of the End - Day 102

This is a continuation to

Suppressed Expression Character - Day 101

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself as a child in this world, to when and as I hear grownups making a statement in judgement towards other human being's expression, to invert the statement into me and from that moment onwards, suppress my beingness as self expression within and as fear that if I allow myself to express myself, I would be mocked and judged by others.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself as a parent in this world, to make a statement in the nature of judgement towards other being's expression when and as my child can hear me and within that, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see the consequences of accepting and allowing myself to judge other being's expression within and as myself and how it will effect my child's Life as the Expression of who my child is wherein from this moment onward, my child will make the decision to suppress one's expression to make sure, that one will never be in a position of judgement by others. In this, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see my own suppressed expression character that I've created within and as myself to be able to exits within our society as its norms and codes, and I haven't seen, realized and understood how I was the one who decided to suppress my expression as who I am, already from a very young age, when I heard/seen my parents judging someone's expression and feared being judged as well, if I accept and allow myself to express myself unconditionally. Within that, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see how I was the one who have accepted and allowed myself, to pass on, generation after generation the suppressed expression character because I haven't took my responsibility to educate myself, to see for myself what I've done to myself within the decision to suppress my expression to the extent to which I have become an automated machine that is able to sustain and maintain myself within our environment and existence as a whole, as enslaved and controlled beings to the world system as without, and to our mind as within. I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to take my power back to myself, within the realization that I am the one who decides and to thus decide to put a stop to the supressed expression that is emerging generation after generation and to free myself from my own imprisonment of myself in my mind, and the imprisonment of others in their mind through the example that I decide to be and become - within and as my Living Physical Expression.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to Judge that which I do not understand and according to the judgement, suppress my beingness as self expression, Here, because as a child in this world, I gave value to what those who have come before me taught me - who I am, what I am, how should I express myself and how should I not and have thus, abdicated my responsibility to see, move and direct me as who I am in every given moment and accordingly, express myself unconditionally as who I decide I am to be in every moment of every breath.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to imprison myself within my human physical body, not seeing, realizing and understanding that I am my human physical body in its totality and that in that moment of imprisonment, I've separated myself from myself as my human physical body, allowed systems to integrate to and as my flesh and decide for me, in any given moment, who I am and how I should express myself according to society norms and codes that will ensure my survival within and as this physical reality.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to imprison me as the self expression that I am in every moment of every breath and within that, have accepted and allowed myself to always think about how I should express myself in a way that will fit in with my environment so that I could be accepted and validate and wouldn't be defined as insane. Within that, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to NOT realize that our society has defined insanity according to specific rules and regulation that will keep the humans enslaved and controlled by the Money System of this world and we would not, in any way, be able to step out of our characters to see, realize and understand what we have accepted and allowed ourselves to be and become which is insanity in itself where we accept and allow our backchat to exits while we would not allow ourselves to express that which we think because we know, that when we would, we will be defined as insane and thus, to make sure we will never face our backchat as the insanity that it is, we have internalized the thoughts, feelings and emotions within the belief that no one can know what's going on in our mind and thus, no one would define us as insane; within that, we have made sure that we will never change, stop the insane thoughts/emotions/feelings that control and enslave and imprison ourselves within our human physical body until our expression is so suppressed that who we are is just an automated organic robot with no life essence whatsoever.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed the thought as picture in my mind of me doing a salta in the air when I see green comfortable grass or when I'm at the beach and the sand is soft and as I start moving myself towards jumping in the air, a backchat comes up: "I can't do it, I will fall" and instead of stopping the back chat to control and enslave me, I give myself the permission to follow and continue having internal conversation as fight between - "I want to do it but I fear doing it" and thus, in that moment, I have accepted and allowed my expression as who I am to be locked down within and as my mind, not seeing, realizing and understanding that the utmost potential of who I am is here, within any given moment as self expression where I'm the directive principle, I move myself and I asses in self honesty according to the physical equation if I can or cannot do a specific task and accordingly, act upon my decision in absolute self trust and self honesty.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed the backchat: "they will think that I'm crazy" when and as I see the emergence of me as self expression of and as my human physical body moving myself as the body and instead of allowing myself to express myself in that moment as breath, I accept and allow my own self limitation and self imprisonment to dictate me what and how I should be in expression because I gave permission to fears of judgement to be my directive principle, I gave permission to the society norms and codes to be my directive principle, I gave permission to myself to follow my thoughts/emotions/feelings and within that, suppress myself as the expression that I am so that I won't be judged and mocked because what I saw during my life was that when and as someone is expressing oneself unconditionally, the person is being judged and mocked and defined as weird and I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand the starting point of the person who judge, to see, realize and understand that it is in fact the very being who judges others, judges oneself as per the design and program that one has accepted oneself to be and become; I haven't seen, realized and understood that those who are judging, are not standing as an example of self expression as who they are in every given moment but rather stand as an example of imprisonment of oneself within one's mind and thus, if I accept and allow this example to be real, I accept and allow my own imprisonment, in my own mind because I am the one who decide.

I now see, realize and understand how extensive is this point which will be required to be walked in much more specificity and details and thus, I commit myself to brake down each and every memory, reaction, back chat, aspect of the suppressed expression character and walk the Self Forgiveness Process until it is done.

So again… stay tuned.

Suppressed Expression Character - Day 101

Where and When have we "lost" our expression? Where and When have we decided to suppress who and what we are and thus have become an expression Character that will fit into the Society norms, Culture, Religion etc.?

Where and When during our Life we have decided to deny ourselves as the expression of and as Life and have become automated in our expression, an expression that will sustain us in our existence within this world system and abuse us as who we are as Life and within that, compromise our entire existence as a whole?

 

It is ridiculous that despite of me seeing that I'm suppressing my expression, I still allow it. It is ridiculous that despite of me seeing my expression emerging as who I am, I decide to lock it down due to thoughts and fears like: "what if they judge me? What if they make fun of me? What if they will think that I'm weird?" And because of those thought, I will accept and allow myself to participate within the suppressed expression character that I've created to protect myself from my environment, to protect myself from other people because I have placed value in what they have to say about me, and I've given myself no Value as LIFE as who I am when and as I accept and allow myself to suppress the beingness that I am and act as the actor in my own movie of my own life - the movie that will keep me "stable" in my environment and won't take me into a mental hospital with other people that has no barrier between what they think and what they express.

 

I mean, imagine Who and What we'll become when and as our secret mind will become equal to and one as what we express? Will we then allow ourselves to become spiteful and judgmental towards other beings in our world? No! the only reason we allow it within ourselves is because we believe it is a secret that no one will find out about and we do not even consider that they are accepting and allowing the same nature of thoughts to exists within and as them. 

 

So who will we be when and as we will give ourselves the permission to express ourselves as who we are? According to this current world system, we will be defined as insane but isn't insanity to define Self Expression as insane? Why is it that we have accepted and allowed our own self expression definition to be Equal to and One as insanity? Why is it that the Current system dictate our expression? What we have become within and as the system as suppressed expression? We have became slaves to our own boundaries that we have placed within and as ourselves to maintain and sustain us within a system that we call LIFE. Though, is it LIFE? NO!

 

Thus, how to return to ourselves as the expression of who we are as a physical living expression of and as LIFE? How to assist and support us to Express Who we are in any given moment? It is to Stop THINKING lol

 

Within this blog, I will be looking at the first moment where I've decided to suppress my expression and become equal and one as organic robot to maintain and sustain myself within and as this world system, to be validated, accepted and appreciated by everything and everyone. 

In order to Identify the Suppressed Expression Character, we will first have a look at the thought manifestation that emerge; then, we will look at the back chat that perpetuate the thought manifestation that we will blindly follow. The next step would be to identify the reactions that emerge as emotions and feelings and finally, what physical changes are manifesting in our physical human body as a complete lock down of and as the Suppressed Expression Character.

 After we'll identify those components, we would be able to have a closer look at the functionality of the Suppressed expression Character which from there, assist and support ourselves with a practical corrective living application/expression.

 

So let's start:

 

The thought manifestation:

Picture of playful child expression. Like for myself, it would be often a picture of me doing Salta jump on the grass or a picture of me Dancing.

 

The Back chat:

"I can't, I will fall"

"They will think that I'm crazy"

"Don't do it; do it; Don't do it; Do it". (which BTW - the "Don't do it" 99% of the time wins)

"shit, if they see me, they would laugh at me for ages"

"If I can't do it properly, I should not do it at all"

"But I want to do it!"

 

Reactions:

Frustration; Jealousy; comparison; embarrassment;

 

Body Change

Constriction in the shoulder area;

Needles in the solar plexus towards the heart regime;

Energy movement in my harms and hands;

Slight pressure in my head.

 

Now, I will go back to the first memory that I can recall where I decided to suppress my expression. In the blog post: Behaviour Modification - Day 74, I've walked through that memory. However, to assist and support myself to identify the first creation of the Suppressed Expression Character, I will look at some more dimensions to be able to remove that memory and stop the memory from influencing me, as who I am, as a physical expression.

 

Stay tuned for my next blog :-)

I Think, therefore I Fucked this Existence - Day 91

This is a continuation to:

I Think Therefore I am - Day 90

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from LIFE as who I am in oneness and Equality through THINKING and within that I've not Realized, Seen or Understood how I've fucked myself for eternity through thinking as I believed that Thinking is what keeps me alive, existing, without realizing that the nature of the belief originated from a THOUGHT that I've accepted and allowed as myself, in separation from myself and all that is here.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to diminish myself as LIFE through accepting and allowing myself to THINK and I haven't realized that the very essence of thinking is what diminish LIFE as thinking can only exists within and as Energy and Energy is that very essence that consume the Physicality of my human physical body and the physical existence as a whole and within that, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize how I'm damaging and abusing the physical LIFE that is me, through thinking and that the fact of the matter is, that as long as I accept and allow myself to think and through thinking generate Energy, I make sure that LIFE will no longer exists as I accept and allow the energy to consume my physicality of my human body and this physical reality.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself as the philosophy character in this world to divert the focus to the real matter that is Life as the physical reality through making the statement: "I think, therefore I am" and I haven't realized that within that statement, I'm trying to make the human being as more than life when it in fact not so because one cannot be more than who one is as LIFE and within that, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that within that statement, I've diminish the Life Source as who I am as I've attached, defined and connected thinking to my existence without realizing that the very thinking is that which consume the physical life until Life will cease to exists if I won't stand up as life as who I am and no longer accept and allow myself to think.

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that when my Human physical body stop breathing, my existence as the I that I am now will cease to exists however, when I stop thinking, me as the I remain, exist. thus, it is not thinking that allow that which I am to exists, is the Human Physical body that allows my existence and yet, I keep abusing my human physical body through thinking as the thought integrate to my human physical body at eat my flesh till I am no more.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that if the Flesh Body, that is One of the Dimensions of my Existence, Stops Breathing – the I as I Experience Myself Now, will End. Bernard Poolman

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that I was always the one who decide and my decision was never ONE and EQUAL to LIFE as my decision was to diminish myself as Life through my acceptance and allowance of Thoughts to exists within and as me.

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to make the decision to stand as Equal to and One as ME as LIFE as I've decided, long long time ago, to diminish my existence at the very first moment that I've decided to separate myself from myself as life and THINK.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to give up within and as myself, within the belief that I cannot stop thinking because thinking is bigger than who I am, because apparently, I cannot stop the thoughts and I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to NOT realize that I am the one who gave myself the permission to THINK. Because though thinking, I am able to experience all those good and positive things, my desires, my imagination, my fantasies and without having those ability to think, imagine, fantasize, I will not be able to fulfil my desires. And within that, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to give up on the desires despite of the fact that I've seen the self interest starting point of the desires that has nothing to do with that which is best for all lives equally and through not giving up my desires, I have given up on myself, as LIFE and have thus, directly and indirectly, have given up on existence as a whole because I've not fully understood and realize that unless I change, I accept and allow the world to continue as it is, as I've not understood and realized consequences, not understood creation, and not realized LIFE. And within that, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed the desire to not understand consequences/LIFE/Creation so that I could keep my desires and never change so that I won't have to give up on the I that I am, as multiple networks of personalities/characters; I won't have to become absolute self responsible and self honest and I won't have to let go of all that I define myself as.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to utilize thinking to compare, compete, spite, jealous and judge to maintain my own self interest as the desire to be MORE and I haven't realized that as long as I give myself the permission to think and within that compare, compete, spite, jealous and judge, I'm unworthy as a living being, I'm disrespectful to Life and my existence is meaningless and only cause harm, abuse and suffering.

I commit myself to Stop the thoughts through become Equal and One as the thought, as I see, realize and understand that for the thought to exists, I must give it permission and through becoming Equal to and one as the thought, I can let it go as the character that I created the thought from the get-go.

I commit myself to Stop the thoughts, one by one till it is done, and only I, as Life Remain.

I commit myself to show that thoughts in essence diminish LIFE as the Physical as it is consume the physicality of my human physical body through common sense equation  wherein, when I allow myself to loop around one thought pattern for an extensive period of time, Pain manifest within and as my human physical body that can be proven in specificity the relationship between the mind relationship to the physical as I've Supported myself many times through applying Self Forgiveness and practical corrective application till the pain was gone.

I commit myself to show, over and over again that thoughts are not the foundation of my existence but rather the physical reality as Breath that keeps my human physical body existing and functioning and thus, when you stop breathing, the body dies, when you stop thinking, you remain.

I commit myself and thus decide to STOP participating in thoughts as I've seen the consequences for myself internally and externally as this world is a constant reminder to what we have created in thoughts. And thus, I commit myself to STOP diminishing myself in and as thoughts, breath by breath.

I commit myself to show that thinking exists within and as self interest desires to maintain my definition of myself, as a networks of characters that I've defined and lived as, in separation of myself as who I am as LIFE and thus, I commit myself to Drop, LET GO and DELETE the desires that I've become equal to and one as in separation of me and to once and for all, EXISTS as EQUAL and ONE as LIFE that is BEST for all. 

I commit myself to show that in thinking we cause harm, abuse and suffering as our thoughts are being utilized to compare, compete, spite and judge within a self interest desires to be MORE than who we are and so long as thoughts exists, Abuse, harm and suffering exists.

More dimension will be walked in the next blogs to come.

Also read – I think, therefor I’m Fucked by Malin Olofsson

Changing the Human Nature - Day 89

This is a continuation to my blog:

Humans are so fucked up - you cannot trust anyone - Day 88

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to give up on Humanity within and as the statement: "Humans are fucked up - you cannot trust anyone" and I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that all along, I have accepted my limitations, my programming and the design that I've created myself within and as and I have allowed the limitation, programming and design within and as this world, as equal to and one as me and through my acceptance and allowances, I directly responsible for us as humanity, in our current nature/design because I haven't take my own responsibility of stepping out of that which I've accepted and allowed myself to be and become in separation of me, stand as an example that a change is possible and that the only reason we won't allow ourselves to change is because or our self interest nature which blinds us from seeing clearly what we have ignored and disregarded from the beginning of time and how through our ignorance, we have accepted and allowed ourselves to create and manifest a world as it is exists today.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself as the giving up character, to use, justify and make excuses of why I cannot change because changing would mean to let go of the character that I've created myself as, in separation of me and within that, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to forget that I was the one who created myself as the human nature, and that I was so powerful that I've even created the forgetfulness character so that I can make sure, that I will never bring myself back to myself within and as equality and oneness as LIFE that is best for all.

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself and this world as equal and one to realize, understand and see that so long as I accept and allow the evil secret mind that I've become in absolute equality and oneness and therefore, have accept and allow spiteful thoughts, jealousy, comparison, competition, judgement, diminishment of others in my mind, I cannot be trusted to the extent to which - if I think, I can't be trusted and within and as equality and oneness fuckupness - I cannot trust any one who accept and allow thoughts to be one's directive principle in separation of oneself and this existence as a whole.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to be petrified to face myself as my mind, as what I have accepted within myself and this world, and thus, the easy way out if through stating that the human nature will never change and within that, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to give my power away within the desire to belief that the human nature cannot be changed as I've abdicated my responsibility to test for myself whether I can change and stand as an example that the human nature can be changed.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to justify why I'm not willing to face that which I've accepted and allowed myself to be and become within and as the statement: "the human nature cannot be changed" and furthermore, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to hurt, harm and kill anyone who dared to stand up and prove that change, within and without is possible.

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see that I'm EVIL in fact because I accept and allow myself to participate within and as my evil secret mind, judging, spiting, competing with everything and everyone: my best friends as well as my enemies and I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realize that unless I take the responsibility to in fact face myself and all that I've accepted and allowed within myself and within this world, I'm directly responsible for the abuse that manifested within and as this world.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to use the excuse: If I stop my mind, I will become a zombie" and I haven't taken the responsibility to test and confirm that excuse/belief for myself because within and as me I already KNEW and didn't want to face that stopping the mind is the KEY, stopping the mind is an extensive process that one has to walk in absolute self dedication.

I commit myself to show that a change is possible through my 7 years commitment of writing. And so, through writing myself out, I stand as an example that a change is possible because I've committed to myself to never give up on myself, as I see, realize and understand that giving up on myself means that I'm giving up on LIFE that is best for all.

I commit myself to show the stupidity loop that we have created as ourselves wherein us as the creators of the multiple characters within and as ourselves, also created a character to forget that we are in character and so, me within and as my powerfulness, have created a loop where we could never get out of, unless we do, through taking the responsibility to let go of all our characters, to download the program of and as LIFE that is best for all into and as our physical flesh and change who and what we have become to and as a principle of LIFE that is best for all.

I commit myself to show and expose that Trust cannot exists as long as one THINK. We have created a world based on thinking and it is clear that we haven't done a good job. Our relationships with others are based on thinking and it is obvious what goes on inside one's mind towards their beloved one. (if one dare to be self honest and admit to oneself the actuality of what I'm writing here)

I commit myself to SHOW and PROVE that when stopping the mind, one doesn't become a zombie, as I'm walking my own process of stopping the mind and it doesn't seem that I'm becoming a zombie but quite the opposite - fully expressive, A LIVE and functioning.