The Death of Experiences - Day 58

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that when I hear another's past experience description, I associate the description with my own pre-program designs as the desires of energetic experiences and thus, come up with a conclusion of how I would experience the experience within myself to the extent to which I will allow myself to direct my life in the attempt to get the perceived experience  with no directive awareness of 'Who I am' in every moment of every breath.

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that any experience that one is seeking and desiring for is due to one's past:  either through one's own past memory experience data base that one is holding onto or either for example, when one has heard another's description of an experience which then thus, one has associated it with one's own pre-program information data base, shaped and mould the experience within one's own frame of reference and eventually, imprinted the desired experience into one's flesh. Within that, I forgive myself that I haven't seen, realized or understood that those pasts memory experience imprints are controlling and enslaving our present and Future instead of us being the directive principle 'HERE' walking our living physical expression in every moment of every breath according to that which is best for all.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to have failed to see that desire for an experience is always contain with self interest where one will first consider oneself and disregard everyone else as long as one can hold onto a momentary illusion of energy high, despite of the fact that once the energy high will fade away, one will remain with an unfulfilled experience of oneself and will immediately seek for the next self interest energy source to feed self with. 

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that within my pursuit of self interest desires/experiences, I'm abdicating my responsibility to walk with and as myself breath by breath as a living expression of who I am with no strings attached to my past, present or future.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to fear letting go the desire for an experiences because that is the only thing that I've known myself to be and I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to take a moment and test the point for myself and see who I am as an undefined expression of myself.

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see that 'who I am' as an accumulation of desires for specific types of experience is not a physical living  expression of LIFE but rather a zombified expression that is limited to a programed memory data base that I lived out in automation state with no directive awareness.

I forgive myself that I've not allowed myself to realized that who I am as energy is not real, it's not LIFE and unless I stop that illusion of me as energy desires for experience, nothing of me will remain when I die as energy can last for so long before it diminish.

“Unless the past pass over -- you will pass over before the past is over”  ~ Bernard Poolman

  (for further context, read this blog - Day 56: The Past is Over)

I commit myself to remain in breath when and as I hear another experience and to not accept and allow myself to drift off into my own mind in the attempt to associate that which I hear to my own memory data base and connect my inner desires to the word that I perceive I'm hearing, as well as, not accepting and allowing myself to imprint the discussion into my flesh as the desires that I have within and as myself and I therefore, support myself to stop creating and recreating  the desires as energy experiences within and as myself.

Within that, I commit myself to stand in breath when and as I'm communicating with other people and to not accept and allow myself to direct myself within the conversation through past memories data base but rather direct myself as who I am, as unconditioned/unlimited expression of myself.

I commit myself to stop the inner desires of energy experiences within and as myself and to rebirth myself as the physical expression of who I am that is not define in anyway according to Energy. and to do that, I commit myself to investigate the creation of myself as energy experience through looking at why/where/when/how I've lost myself to energy and accordingly walk the correction through self forgiveness application in self honesty.

I commit myself to transform my inner self interest desires to practical and physical action which support everything and everyone within and as the principle of that which is best for all and those actions can be cross reference and measured according to the affect/outcome.

I commit myself to for give myself an eternal LIFE that is Physical, constant and infinite by investigating every aspect of me that I've defined according to energy experience, let it go, correct my living application through a process of self forgiveness in self honesty.

Lost in the Future - Day 48

For clarity - Here is the drawing of the pattern that I will be discussing here -


The diamonds points represents points that I haven' aligned myself yet/haven't sorted out yet. The future projection is based on fears, on knowledge and information that I hold on, in separation of myself and that which is here. And thus, instead of walking breath by breath in alignment to all that is here, I go into my mind in the attempt to control the future to avoid the fears through a projection and within that, miss all the points that required being sorted out and directed which then thus, I manifest a time loop meaning - my future plans won't work out as I expected them to be and than, my decisions will be based on a reaction of fear and the cycle continue to the beginning where I'll plan new future out of fear and miss again the points that require my attention.



I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see the design that I've participated with throughout my life within and as the existence of a future projection and thus, I've accepted and allowed myself to avoid the points that require direction through projecting myself to the future which within that, could ignore and disregards the points that I require to align and sort out.

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see how I instead of sorting out point by point, I went into my mind, within and as a future projection and when the future didn't played out as I expected it to be, I freaked out, and immediately went and build a new future plans and I haven't considered to stop for a moment, look at the practicality of the points and made an informative decisions that is based on what is HERE.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to exits within and as future projection out of self interest desires and when the points didn't played out exactly as I've planed it, I reacted in fear and tried to figure out how to walk the point but I haven't considering that figuring out how to walk the point in my mind within a reaction of fear will not be the utmost beneficial solution and I rather stop the reactions, breathe and look at practicality and walk the decision thereof in absolute self trust, clarity and stability, breath by breath.

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see that I'm existing in the Future within a future projections plans that I've made from the starting point of self interest desires which were based upon my past as the knowledge and information that I hold and I haven't allowed myself to see and realized that the most important point was missed all along - being HERE, walking breath by breath according to that which is best for all.

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see that my future projections plans that I've made in my mind were based on FEAR according to the knowledge and information that I hold inside myself that I've carried from my past and thus, when things didn't played out according to what I planned I react in fear because I didn't carry the knowledge and information that I believed I require for making an informative decisions however, what I've missed was the common sense HEREness that is not defined according to one's past or future and thus, when one is walking breath by breath by breath, one is able to face and direct what ever a point is playing out in absolute stability and clarity.

I forgive myself that I've not accepted and allowed myself to see the relationship between future projection and the manifested reality that reflected back to me within unexpected changes from that which I've planned, and instead of stopping the reactions to the unexpected changes and direct myself effectively breath by breath, I went back into my mind, creating alternative solutions and I have failed to see that by allowing myself to react in fear and run back to my mind, I've manifested unnecessary time loop because it is inevitable that I will face myself whether I like it or not.

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself and gave myself the permission to walk breath by breath and instead, I've directed myself according to a future that I've planned out for myself, in my mind, a future that is based on fears due to not taking on the points/patterns that I've participated throughout my life and stop the points/patterns one by one, and so, walk my life in absolute awareness of myself, my mind and all that is here in equality and oneness.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to have failed to see the creation of the illusion reality that I'm creating in my mind in the attempt to miss and avoid points that requires my attention, consideration and practical correction.

I commit myself to stop creating unnecessary time loop for myself through participating in a future projection that is not based on the equality equation of this physical reality but is based on fears and reactions.

I commit myself to a process of stopping patterns one by one, breath by breath and to not allow myself to create an illusionary reality that can only exists in my mind.

I commit myself to stop reacting in fear when the illusion reality that I've created in my mind didn't meet with the physical reality and utilize the moment to see how and why I've manifested the physical reality that played out and furthermore, investigate what does it reflect back to myself from the perspective of looking and investigating what have I missed while I was preoccupied in my mind, in the illusionary reality.

I commit myself to stop being influenced by fears and instead of reacting and making decisions that are based on fear, I give myself the permission to stop, breathe and look at the practicality of the points and accordingly correct and direct myself, breath by breath.

I commit myself to hereness, to myself, to a breath by breath process of stopping the patterns that I've created in ignorance.

I commit myself to make informative decisions that based on the equality equation of 1+1=2 and to stop making reactive decisions that has no foundation/ground within the physical reality.

I commit myself to explain in details how and why we have been consistently living in our mind and how within that, we have missed ourselves and this physical reality as well as presenting a practical solutions to assist and support oneself in one's process of stopping pattern by pattern, breath by breath and within that becoming a physical living expression of LIFE.