Jul 30, 2013 | By: A Woman

Do you want more? - Day 405

"I want, I Desire, I must have it, I want to have something , I want to be something and once I be that something I would be defined as so special and adored and have this power and I could be in control my of life for once and for all"
Who haven't had these thoughts at some stage of their life? Who still have these thoughts in their mind? Probably most of us - it is the inherited design to always want More without ever actually realizing  and understanding what 'More' actually entails.

It is interesting that we normally do not question and/or investigate the origin of this 'want' and so randomly create alternative realities within our mind, scheming the path to get us to the imaginary 'want' - how it would make us feel, how would others react to us, how would others see us while all along we are missing a fundamental and critical point - are we living  only for others to be able to define us and to decide who we are? If so - is that the life we really want for ourselves nevertheless for others?

So then, when we get what we wanted or at least close enough to what we have imagined, the moment the energized excitement fades off, we realize that having or being that something or someone isn't a garden of roses as we have expected it to be. Then we realize - OMG -  we haven't considered the consequences though now it is too late - it's here and it must be faced. And so - we stand in ambivalence position where we have positive and negative attachments to the 'original want' but a decision must be made - to either realign our starting point and stand accountable for what we have created as the result of our past 1+1=2 decisions and accordingly take responsibility or - to take the easy way out and follow the little bits of positivity we've got left, make a U-turn and… start the cycle again.

So now that we have realized that what we believed we wanted isn't really what we wanted because come 'on we don't want to be responsible and accountable if we don't have to but we still want the power, the control and the validation from others and so, we create a new alternative reality in our mind and walking towards the new 'want' within the hope that this time, everything will work out just fine and all our desires would be fulfilled. One day we wake up and realize that ooops, problem, this is not what we have signed up for; our life is nothing close to what we wanted it to be and again, we face the consequence which are normally not a fun ride but regardless we would still decide to do whatever is best for us with the little positivity we've got left to energized ourselves forward while missing the window of opportunity to change and actually take a moment to investigate all things. Nope, we immediately start creating another cycle to yet again, get to the same point without ever realizing what we are doing. What is even worse is that we accept it as if it is ok.

We justify ourselves by saying that we don't know what is best for all, we don't know what is our role within it all, that we don't know what we are able and capable of doing but what we really haven't established is self-integrity and self-honesty because within that, there is no space to "not knowing" there is only a space to will ourselves to correct, align, change, walk. Done.

So it is defiantly interesting design to investigate and remove because certainly, it is not supporting anyone. We are functioning as self-interested units without understanding that each unit is a part of interconnected relationship that creates this world. While what should have been a working together scenario to enhance one another we evolved to human beings that are not able to assess all things, take responsibility and stand accountable for our words and actions but instead, shifting responsibility in a constant journey to fulfil our very own desires on the expanse of others.

Let's not wait until it is too late.

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