Reality knocks on the door. Again! - Day 468

The blog series - Emotional Attachment and Physical connection (Part 5) - Day 464 started from one single reaction that I had when I heard that Gracie, our dog, may have cancer. I didn't imagine that it would open up a can of worms and that I will be learning about myself since that day.

 

So fortunately, Gracie doesn't have Cancer. Unfortunately, we finally found out what the problem is with her - We ran a lot of tests and she was treated intensively for a few months - the decisions that we have to make are not easy

 

She has ossification in both of her ear canals and it has reached a point where it cannot be  reversed. It all started with chronic allergy reaction that over time caused inflammation in her ears which then developed to calcification which led to ossification and at the moment, we haven't find a way to treat the inflammation as her ear canals are locked. The even bigger problem is the concurrent bacterial infection that again, cannot be treated due to the ear canal being blocked by the local ossification.

 

At this point our next move is to consult a specialist to give a second opinion and at the same time, checking alternative medicine to see if there is anything else we can do that we were not aware of as of yet.  Although we hope that we will get some good news in terms of alternative treatment options, all information currently points to only one course of action: Surgically removing both of her ears, which means that Gracie will be deaf for the rest of her life. This scenario leads to the question of what is then the best choice for her?

 

Obviously, within this point, I'm facing lots of personal points that opened up with the decision that we have to make however, within this blog post, I would like to address a different issue:

 

It was said to us that only if we knew before that there is a chronic allergy in her ear, we could have prevented the ossification but the thing is, we were taking Gracie to the Vet every time she developed ear infection and each time, we were told that it's just because of Gracie's swimming habits and accordingly, she was locally treated.   I don't remember even once that they asked us for permission to perform X-rays to figure out what is really going on. From my perspective, I had full trust that the Vet will have Gracie's best interest way before Money whereas, if required, they would ask us for permission to perform X-rays - that was the level of trust that I had towards my dog's Vet in Israel.

Obviously, I didn't consider that I am not in Israel any more where Money isn't the issue for most people when it comes to their pets. Here, in South Africa, the majority of the population do not have the means to afford X-ray which causes the mentality of not being bothered with even asking the pet's owner if they would prefer to go on the Prevention route.

 

I got really angry! Reality knocks on the door again to remind me how fucked up the world/money system is, whereas Prevention as the Best Cure is not a principle that we live by. Why?  Because if we do the math, we can see that Prevention won't generate income for the Elite of this world - the Elite of this world are living off the consequences you, me and the animals experience on a daily basis. It is ridiculous -

Consequences = Money for the Elite and lesser Quality of life for the majority; 

Prevention = More money for everyone and Extraordinary Quality of life for everyone

 

The problem is, that we, the majority, have abdicated our responsibility in critically thinking about what we have allowed this world to become and therefore, the Elite had and still have the power to direct the living experiences of us all because we were the ones who gave this power away and we are the ones who cannot yet see that we are still able to change the game by taking our human right / power. So what would make us see?

 

Unfortunately, the answer is 'Consequences'. My question is - how much more consequences do we have to manifest for us to finally see and take action?

 

Please follow:

Activists journey to life

Economist's Journey to Life

Living Income Guaranteed

From Limitation to Direction - Day 465

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to be dependent on another to direct points 'for' me instead of expanding myself by seeing, observing and learning how to effectively direct points. In this, I forgive myself that I've not accepted and allowed myself to realize that by creating a dependency on another to direct points 'for' me, I am limiting myself in the belief that I'm unable to effectively direct points myself.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to participate in Anger towards another when they are not 'here' to direct points 'for' me and within that anger, leaving the point that require direction undirected, not realizing that if I was the one who saw that a specific point require direction, I am also the one who is able to find a solution and direct.

 

I forgive myself that I've NOT seen, realize and understood how I have sabotaged my process of standing as a point of direction as an expression of myself as I've projected  anger towards another not directing a point which I see require direction and within that also limited my process of expansion as I've not stood up from within myself and trained myself to effectively direct a point that comes to my face to its utmost potential.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not Trust myself for being able to effectively direct specific points and thus, believed that I'm dependent on another to direct specific points 'for' me and within the distrust of myself, I haven't allowed myself to expand myself, to expand the way I look at things, expand the way I observe people, situations and events and accordingly, develop a direct seeing of what is here as solutions and how to effectively direct that which is here as an expression of myself.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to within the belief of not being able to direct a specific situation with another human being, to in fact physically live this belief of myself as my living application which within that, I would accept and allow myself to build up and accumulate energy as emotions such as frustration, resentment, anger and judgment towards another without realizing that I must first direct these points within myself to ensure that when I look again at the points, I see what is really physically presented here and accordingly, effectively direct the points if/when the point still require direction.

 

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that the moments that I find myself incapable of directing a point are moments where I am busy reacting within myself and so, the solution would be to first clear and stabilize myself so that I can then move to seeing solutions that I am able to apply/direct.

 

I commit myself to when and as I see a point that require direction, to first turn the point back to myself and direct within myself any and all sort of reactions I have towards the point. Then, when I self-honestly see that I'm stable and clear, I direct myself to find solutions within and as myself. I realize  that solutions are presenting itself when/as I'm clear within myself and so, I commit myself to trust that I will see a solution so long as I am not reacting and standing in clarity and stability within myself.

 

I commit myself to NOT accept and allow myself to limit myself within the belief that I'm not able to effectively direct a point because I realize that within the belief of not being able to direct specific point, I'm giving my power to my mind where I would start accumulating and build up all sort of energetic reactions, which creates a smoke screen from which I'm literally unable to see what is really here, what requires direction and what would be the approach/solutions that would be best to apply.
 

I commit myself to no longer accept and allow myself to depend on another to direct points 'for' me but to instead slowly but surely develop direct seeing skills through which I would allow myself to direct points within myself and my environment as an expression of who I am within the principle of 'what is best for all'. I realized that creating dependency towards another to direct points 'for' me is a limitation of myself as I haven't given me the opportunity to face the point myself, investigate who I am in relation to the point ,what can I learn from it so that I could also stand as a point of direction when/if the moments comes up again.

Who I am is a Free Choice? Day 23

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to move and motivate myself according to what and how other people will see me and I failed to see that I’m defining myself according to What I do instead of Who I am as the decision within what I do and thus, separated myself from myself by NOT walking my life as WHO I am but only as What I do to define Who I am and within that, I’ve missed LIFE, I’ve missed myself as I gave my entire power away to the enslavement system of and as the mind and within that, I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to abdicate my responsibility to walk the decision of Who I Am as Life and direct myself and this world according to Principle of Oneness and Equality as What is best for all because What I do was always in the nature of Self Interest and thus, Who I have become is/was in the nature of Self Interest, always looking for rewards within what I do as the incentive to Live.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to fail to see that Who I am as a self interest Principle is in fact Evil because while I allowed myself to direct and move myself within self interest, I’ve abdicated the responsibility to see that that which I’m allowing myself within, I allow in the world system and thus, the manifestation of the world as we know it today, is a direct reflection of my participation from the starting point of self interest and yet, despite of the physical reflection as the world as myself, I’ve not accepted and allowed myself to change and take responsibility for myself and this world as ONE.

I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to see that this world is a direct reflection of my acceptance and allowed self interest participation with and as the mind and I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to SEE and realize WHO I AM as Life and thus, limited my expression to my own self interest desires and allowed a world to be control and directed through and as self interest desires that manifested an abusive and cruel world as we exists within and as today.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to give my power away within the belief that I have no power to change this world but what I’ve failed to realized is that changing the world start with changing self as what I’ve accepted and allowed myself to be and become is in direct relationship to what I’ve accepted and allowed this world to become and thus, through the accepted belief that I’ve no power to change this world, I’ve gave up on myself and this world and allowed the compromise of billions of beings in this world in blinded faith of my self interests and fearful beliefs.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that I have control over my life and that I have a free choice within it and yet, I’ve failed to see that my “free choice” is defined by my self interest desires and if I would really have a free choice, I would have chosen Life that is best for all.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to think and belief that I have a free choice and yet, I’ve failed to see that my free choice is defined according to how much money I have to fulfil my self interest desires as well as, I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to live in a world where only a select few can fulfil their self interest desires instead of living in a world where the self interest desires is a LIFE that is best for all which is NOT defined according to Money but according to practical living expression that is of a support of LIFE as the sum up relationships between humans, natures and animals within an agreement to live, direct and express that which is best for all in every given moment.

                                         

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to believe that Beings has a free choice and if they live in poverty and/or abusive Life situations it is due to their Karma and they have the capability to assist and support themselves to change their experience and I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to see that the nature of this belief is based on my own self interest desires through justifying and making excuses of why I do not have to stand up and  assist those beings through and as the principle of what is best for all because if I would, I would have to give up my own self interest desires and in essence, I would have to give up my Life and, I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to fear giving up my self interest desires as well as giving up my LIFE because I couldn’t grasp that LIFE is an accumulate relationship that works together within an agreement of what is best for all and that my life, is just a limited version of what LIFE is and thus, giving up the limited version of LIFE is to be in fact able to Live LIFE for the very first time in Equality and oneness.

I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that the only Free Choice that exists is to become LIFE that is best for all. And I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to make decisions based on my free choice despite the fact that the consequences are in no way best for all because If I have walked my life in the ultimate free choice, I would have NOT accepted and allowed the abusive and Evil nature that I’ve become which has been proven by my backchat and I would have pushed myself to STOP, correct and change and become LIFE that is best for all in every breath, in every step, in every moment.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to failed to see that If I would have a free choice, I would have chosen Life that is best for all and I would not accept anything less than that, from myself and from others in this world.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to continue participating with my backchats, internal conversations and secret mind, despite of the fact that I’ve proven to myself time after time after time that the backchat, internal conversation and the secret mind are always based on self interest desires and has nothing to do with WHO I am as Life as a physical expression and yet, through my acceptances and allowances of such participation in the mind, I’ve proven that I’m less than Life, I’m less than WHO I Am as Life and that I’m limited, control and enslaved to a system that abuse Life and all that is Here. And Thus, I’m making the commitment today, Now, in this very moment, to STOP my blinded acceptance and allowance of the backchat, internal conversation and secret mind because I realized that as long as I accept and allow my own participation in the mind, I’m abusing, sabotaging and compromising myself and this world and thus, when and as I see myself accessing a backchat, internal conversation and secret mind participation, I stop, I breathe, and I bring myself back here to and as my human physical body. I immediately correct and direct myself to change through self forgiveness and deletion of the pattern until it is done.

I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to walk my talk wherein even though I’ve realized the consequences of my acceptance and allowance participation in my mind, I’ve still haven’t taken the responsibility to STOP in every moment and direct myself according to principle of Oneness and Equality because every time that I’ve accepted a back chat as valid, as me, I’ve further separated myself and access another time loop. Within that, I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to failed to see that as long as I accept and allow the shit to continue within me, I accept and allow the shit to exists in this world and thus, I’ve abdicated the responsibility to stand as an example and direct myself and this world to a world that is best for all in all ways possible.

I commit myself to take the responsibility of assisting and supporting myself in every moment of every breath to get back to myself as a living expression of a physical LIFE.

I commit myself to immediately direct each and every point that I’ve missed that is proven through my participation in my mind and correct my living application in the moment of breath.

I commit myself to do so till I’m Life in fact and thus stand as a pillar of support for ALL as Equal as One as Me, as Life.

I commit myself to expose the nature of free choice that is accepted in this world and prove that   what we perceive to be free choice at the moment is a free choice to continue abusing ourselves and each other in this world and I commit myself to do whatever it takes to show and support the world that the only free choice that we truly exists is the free choice to become LIFE and that will be determine by the relationship that we have with each other as a whole within the establishing of a new world that is best for all.

The evil nature of competition – Day 8

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to allow the nature of competition to exists within and as me, in separation of me because I’ve NOT allowed myself to realize that the only being that I’m competing with is MYSELF because I did NOT respect myself enough to stop in every moment of engaging back chat in the nature of competition to bring the point back to myself to see how and why I’ve missed the entire time - MYSELF.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to sabotage my relationship with other human beings through continually and consistently compete for my survival as a personality which I’ve defined myself as, without realizing that no matter what was the outcome of the competition, I always lost -I lost myself, because I’ve accepted and allowed myself within that moment, to separate myself from myself as well as the being that I’m competing with.

I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to utilize the thoughts in the nature of competition as a gift wherein – I’m giving myself in that moment the opportunity to see what I’ve accepted and allowed myself to live as, take responsibility for myself, sort myself out, correct, change and integrate myself as the equality and oneness as the physical.

I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to see that because I have never considered myself as worthy, I’ve tried to win in all ways possible to be able to defined myself as more than but what I have NOT realized was that I can not define myself as worthy through the validation of someone or something else but instead to realize that Who I am is worthy of Life and I must thus embrace worthiness as me because otherwise, everything I do will coming from the starting point of proving and seeking for approval while the answer is always here – Myself.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to compete with those who I perceive to be a threaten to the personality that I’ve work so hard to maintain because I Believed that if my status as a personality will demolished, I will lose the potential of sustaining and attaining my desires and within that, I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to see that competition exists when desires exists (more on the point of desires will come soon)

I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to see my responsibility within the world system that we’ve accepted and allowed to be based on competition as the desire for power and control which manifested the polarity between those who have and those who have not; because as long as I accept and allow myself to exists as a personality design that compete for my survival as the ego, I accept the world system to exits in the nature and likeness of competition without even considering Life that is best for all where competition no longer exists.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to compete with another being because I wasn’t willing to admit to myself and to the person that I was wrong and thus, I manipulated and alter my words so that I could present myself as right no matter what and within that – I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize the nature of competition and how it was designed – to hide and suppress the reality of self as inferior by attempting and trying to control and attain superiority so that one would not have to face what one has accepted and allowed oneself to be and become in total separation of self.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to take for granted the existence of competition within myself and this world because I’ve not directed myself to SEE why, How and What competition really implies and within that, I’ve separated myself from myself, my world and this existence through not taking the responsibility to investigate, understand and realize what we have become as humans that allowed the world to manifeste the consequences of destruction, abuse and suffering where self interest is the directive principle instead of What is Best for all Life.

I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that having discussion with someone in my mind in the nature of arguments and conflict IS a form of competition that I’m participating and accepting as me but only because I’m doing it secretly, I don’t ‘experience’ myself competing with anyone and thus, am able to define myself as righteous.

I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that by the very fact that I’m having arguments and conflicts with other beings in my mind, proves that the only being that I’m competing with is ME.

I commit myself to expose the nitty gritty within all the layers of my mind where I accepted and allowed myself to design, create and program myself in the nature of competition – to see the thoughts, behaviour, voice tonality, body postures and reactions and to correct myself within deleting the pattern in its totality.

I commit myself to be attentive and aware to – when and as I participate with thoughts in the nature of competition so that I could take responsibility for that which I’ve accepted and allowed to manifest within myself and my world in separation of me by bring the point back to myself and see where I’ve not aligned and sort out myself, direct, correct and change myself according and as principles that are best for all lives.

I commit myself to assist and support myself in all ways possible to stop and change the self accepted nature of competition within myself and my world.