Competition jealousy and spitefulness – Day 12

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to Ignore the thoughts that are running in my mind towards another human being and allowing it to go rampant in my mind instead of taking a moment and investigate what is the nature of the thought, What is it that I’m showing to myself when turning the point back to myself, what Am I missing while accepting thoughts towards another human being in my mind?

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed the nature competitive personality that I have become because when I was looking and observing the world, I’ve seen that everyone are competing with other human being and thus, I’ve accepted that as a social norm, imprinted that into me and lived out the competitive personality within my mind as well as in my actions.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to confuse standing up for myself with standing up as what is best for all wherein – when and as I’m standing up for myself, I access competition personality design where I’ll do my best to win a secret competition that I’ve created in my life due to jealousy that I’m experiencing towards that being; while standing up for what is best for all means – to not accept and allow any shit that is coming from me as well as other people and rather walk in every moment as within directive principle of what is best for all life in fact.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to sabotage my relationship with females throughout my life as I’m taking a step back from them due to accepted and allowed jealousy towards them and instead of sorting out myself and aligning myself, I’ve taken the quick fix “solution” as disappearing from their lives. And within that, I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to always create myself as righteous in my mind, justifying why I was right and they were wrong in addition to why the reason I disappeared from their lives was valid. What I’ve missed within it all is the opportunity to face myself, to face that which they were showing me, face the secret jealousy and competition and physically change myself to a respectful and humble human being.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to – exists in this world as a competitive human being that always seek for one’s own self interest.

I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to connect the nasty thoughts that I have towards another human being with Jealousy and competition.

I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to see the relationship between competition, spitefulness and jealousy.

I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to see that Fear of lose and fear of Failure are the origin/source/core of competition, jealousy and spitefulness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to learn from those who came before me through an example, how to design and program myself within a competitive personality design because I believe they know better than me, despite the fact that if they would have known better, this world wouldn’t have become a world of horror, abuse and suffering for the majority of this world.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire bad things to manifest for other human beings so that I could feel better with myself and my life, without realizing the consequences of my creation, without realizing that I’m sabotaging not only them but me as well, without realizing that I’m responsible for this world to manifest as an evil and abusive place because I allow those type of thoughts to occur in my mind and thus, I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to occupy my mind with secret back chat about other human beings to make myself feel superior, worthy and more than and I haven’t taken the responsibility to realize that which I allow myself to participate with and the consequences thereof – What I allow to exists within me, I allow to exists within this world and thus, I’m responsible for how and what this world has become as the equal acceptance of human beings that walk and direct themselves and this world according to a principle of “the strangers will win”.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed competition between human beings in this world because I learnt through history that only the strongest survive and if I want to survive in this world, I have to compete for my status/spot with everything that I’ve got, regardless the effect that it has on other human lives and within that, I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to connect and see the relationship between competition and fear of lose and through accepting competition, I’ve suppressed and deny myself the gift of facing my fears to be able to change myself and therefor my world to a world that is best for all, in all ways possible.

I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to see the polarity design in competition of losing and winning and thus, I’ve not accepted and allow myself to consider the losing side that exists in this world as those who were born to die so that only a select few could win and through me denying and blinding myself to see that which is HERE, I’m part of the winning side that disregard those who are unfortunate in this world.

I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that we require a new education system so that we can stop for once and for all walking the sin of our fathers and support the next generation to be and become beings that are in fact applying and living the principle of oneness and equality.

I forgive myself that I’ve Not accepted and allowed myself to see the consequences of the current education system within the world system as a whole and within the family system as a part of the whole and thus, I’ve blindly walked according to those who came before me, never questioning reality and in that I’ve proved that I am a walking organic brainwashed robot that has no free will because if I had free will/choice, I would have utilize my will to make something substantial in this world and push myself to change myself as well as this world to never again create and manifest a world that is based on fears, survival, abuse and suffering.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to take the competition nature of human being for granted without question the starting point of such creation as well as not considering a world that is best for all because if I have, I would assist and support myself to stop and change me as equal to and one with this world.

I commit myself to stop the existence of me as a competitive ego personality design and change myself according to principles of do onto another that which you’d like to be done onto you.

I commit myself to work and establish a constructive educational system for the children to come where they will learn, apply and walk from the get go the principles of Oneness and Equality.

I commit myself to – When and as I see myself accessing competition with people in my world, to stop, breathe and investigate the core/source/origin point of what I’m actually dealing with.

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The evil nature of competition – Day 8

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to allow the nature of competition to exists within and as me, in separation of me because I’ve NOT allowed myself to realize that the only being that I’m competing with is MYSELF because I did NOT respect myself enough to stop in every moment of engaging back chat in the nature of competition to bring the point back to myself to see how and why I’ve missed the entire time - MYSELF.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to sabotage my relationship with other human beings through continually and consistently compete for my survival as a personality which I’ve defined myself as, without realizing that no matter what was the outcome of the competition, I always lost -I lost myself, because I’ve accepted and allowed myself within that moment, to separate myself from myself as well as the being that I’m competing with.

I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to utilize the thoughts in the nature of competition as a gift wherein – I’m giving myself in that moment the opportunity to see what I’ve accepted and allowed myself to live as, take responsibility for myself, sort myself out, correct, change and integrate myself as the equality and oneness as the physical.

I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to see that because I have never considered myself as worthy, I’ve tried to win in all ways possible to be able to defined myself as more than but what I have NOT realized was that I can not define myself as worthy through the validation of someone or something else but instead to realize that Who I am is worthy of Life and I must thus embrace worthiness as me because otherwise, everything I do will coming from the starting point of proving and seeking for approval while the answer is always here – Myself.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to compete with those who I perceive to be a threaten to the personality that I’ve work so hard to maintain because I Believed that if my status as a personality will demolished, I will lose the potential of sustaining and attaining my desires and within that, I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to see that competition exists when desires exists (more on the point of desires will come soon)

I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to see my responsibility within the world system that we’ve accepted and allowed to be based on competition as the desire for power and control which manifested the polarity between those who have and those who have not; because as long as I accept and allow myself to exists as a personality design that compete for my survival as the ego, I accept the world system to exits in the nature and likeness of competition without even considering Life that is best for all where competition no longer exists.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to compete with another being because I wasn’t willing to admit to myself and to the person that I was wrong and thus, I manipulated and alter my words so that I could present myself as right no matter what and within that – I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize the nature of competition and how it was designed – to hide and suppress the reality of self as inferior by attempting and trying to control and attain superiority so that one would not have to face what one has accepted and allowed oneself to be and become in total separation of self.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to take for granted the existence of competition within myself and this world because I’ve not directed myself to SEE why, How and What competition really implies and within that, I’ve separated myself from myself, my world and this existence through not taking the responsibility to investigate, understand and realize what we have become as humans that allowed the world to manifeste the consequences of destruction, abuse and suffering where self interest is the directive principle instead of What is Best for all Life.

I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that having discussion with someone in my mind in the nature of arguments and conflict IS a form of competition that I’m participating and accepting as me but only because I’m doing it secretly, I don’t ‘experience’ myself competing with anyone and thus, am able to define myself as righteous.

I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that by the very fact that I’m having arguments and conflicts with other beings in my mind, proves that the only being that I’m competing with is ME.

I commit myself to expose the nitty gritty within all the layers of my mind where I accepted and allowed myself to design, create and program myself in the nature of competition – to see the thoughts, behaviour, voice tonality, body postures and reactions and to correct myself within deleting the pattern in its totality.

I commit myself to be attentive and aware to – when and as I participate with thoughts in the nature of competition so that I could take responsibility for that which I’ve accepted and allowed to manifest within myself and my world in separation of me by bring the point back to myself and see where I’ve not aligned and sort out myself, direct, correct and change myself according and as principles that are best for all lives.

I commit myself to assist and support myself in all ways possible to stop and change the self accepted nature of competition within myself and my world.