A piece of gossip - Day 528

Most people define gossip as a conversation that is based on judgment of someone who is not presence.

There are many reasons as to why people gossip but primarily it is because of:

1. Projecting superiority - some people feel that by saying negative things about others, they feel or seen as superior by those who the gossiping is discussed with.
2. Jealousy - people may gossip about those they compare themselves with out of jealousy towards them. This gives them a temporary feeling of being 'more than'.
3. Getting attention - some people get to be the center of attention temporarily while exposing a piece of information about others.
4. Spite, anger - people may deliberately gossip about other people when they feel hurt or betrayed by another.

5. Boredom - In situations where people are lacking knowledge or personal experience that could support a discussion with another, they move to gossip to draw some attention.

But interestingly enough, what most of us do not consider is that gossiping in primarily done… wait for it… in our HEADS!

In our minds, in our little space where no one can listen, we allow ourselves to gossip, and gossip and gossip and.. How many times do we actually stop the train of gossip and ask ourselves - "but where are these thoughts are coming from? Why am I carrying this negative talk about others in my heads?"

So regardless if we gossip externally or internally, we most likely to participate in gossip on a daily basis. One thing is certain - as long as we carry judgement towards ourselves or others, we can be sure we are accepting and allowing gossiping to be a part of our reality. We can be sure that we are not standing as a point of direction and support towards ourselves or others.

There are many resources that explain the design of gossip so I am not going into it. Instead, this blog will focus on

how to support yourself to identify gossip and how to become aware in real time moment to stop participating with gossip.

Identifying gossip:

My rule of thumb is answering the questions: "Will I say the same things that I am saying now or thinking now, if the person I am speaking/thinking about was presence?"

If I can't stand by my words or thoughts and share my thoughts/words with the person the internal/external conversation is about then, ladies and gentlemen, we are dealing with the design of gossip and not with a principle of self-honesty and the support of one another.

From here, you must take the point into self-introspection: it is obvious that you are reacting to the other person in one way or another - identify the type of reaction you are carrying and direct yourself towards a solution. For more support with that, please visit DIP Lite - Life Skills & Self-Mastery Online Courses.

Changing a pattern in real time moment support

For more context, please also read: Day 567: Authority and Consequence – Part 1.

Becoming aware in real time moment that you are participating in a specific design is a bit tricky because usually by the time you become aware of this, it's almost "too late" in the sense of you are already in it.. Within the context of gossiping, by the time you are aware of your participation with gossip, you are already in the heart of gossip discussion.

What I find supporting me with becoming aware of gossiping is by working with my own mind - slowing down and observing the thoughts that contain the nature of gossip. This allows me to see the type of reaction that I carry, the nature of the emotion and from there I can stop my participation with the gossip type thoughts and direct myself towards the solution, starting with self-forgiveness.

Within that, I am able to support myself to stop my participation in real time moment when I find myself participating in a gossip based conversation as well as supporting others when they are participating in gossip. Obviously - this take practice, patience and the ability to forgive yourself, learn from your mistakes and commit to change this destructive pattern but the more you practice a skill, the better you become.

Essentially, I use the rule of thumb here as well, when I become aware that there is a potential for a conversation to go into the direction of gossip, I stop and ask myself "Will I say the same things that I am saying now or thinking now, if the person I am speaking/thinking about was presence?". Then I know whether I stand in relation to the one who is being gossiped.

So to answer the questions How to become aware in real time moment that you are participating with gossiping? I would say it is a matter of getting to know your mind and introspecting the design of gossip so that you are able to identify when and why you have or still are participating with gossip. Then, walk through a process of self-forgiveness - forgive yourself for accepting and allowing the design of gossip to be a part of who you are, take responsibility and authority for this design so that you are able to make the decision to stop your participation. Now that you made it your goal to change in real time moment - you already placing awareness as a red flag inside of you to alert you when gossiping is happening. So you practice this point until you change and no longer directed by gossiping but rather by principles that would support yourself and everyone else, to the best of your ability.For more support, please invest time in DIP Lite - Life Skills & Self-Mastery Online Courses.

The evil nature of competition – Day 8

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to allow the nature of competition to exists within and as me, in separation of me because I’ve NOT allowed myself to realize that the only being that I’m competing with is MYSELF because I did NOT respect myself enough to stop in every moment of engaging back chat in the nature of competition to bring the point back to myself to see how and why I’ve missed the entire time - MYSELF.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to sabotage my relationship with other human beings through continually and consistently compete for my survival as a personality which I’ve defined myself as, without realizing that no matter what was the outcome of the competition, I always lost -I lost myself, because I’ve accepted and allowed myself within that moment, to separate myself from myself as well as the being that I’m competing with.

I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to utilize the thoughts in the nature of competition as a gift wherein – I’m giving myself in that moment the opportunity to see what I’ve accepted and allowed myself to live as, take responsibility for myself, sort myself out, correct, change and integrate myself as the equality and oneness as the physical.

I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to see that because I have never considered myself as worthy, I’ve tried to win in all ways possible to be able to defined myself as more than but what I have NOT realized was that I can not define myself as worthy through the validation of someone or something else but instead to realize that Who I am is worthy of Life and I must thus embrace worthiness as me because otherwise, everything I do will coming from the starting point of proving and seeking for approval while the answer is always here – Myself.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to compete with those who I perceive to be a threaten to the personality that I’ve work so hard to maintain because I Believed that if my status as a personality will demolished, I will lose the potential of sustaining and attaining my desires and within that, I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to see that competition exists when desires exists (more on the point of desires will come soon)

I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to see my responsibility within the world system that we’ve accepted and allowed to be based on competition as the desire for power and control which manifested the polarity between those who have and those who have not; because as long as I accept and allow myself to exists as a personality design that compete for my survival as the ego, I accept the world system to exits in the nature and likeness of competition without even considering Life that is best for all where competition no longer exists.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to compete with another being because I wasn’t willing to admit to myself and to the person that I was wrong and thus, I manipulated and alter my words so that I could present myself as right no matter what and within that – I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize the nature of competition and how it was designed – to hide and suppress the reality of self as inferior by attempting and trying to control and attain superiority so that one would not have to face what one has accepted and allowed oneself to be and become in total separation of self.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to take for granted the existence of competition within myself and this world because I’ve not directed myself to SEE why, How and What competition really implies and within that, I’ve separated myself from myself, my world and this existence through not taking the responsibility to investigate, understand and realize what we have become as humans that allowed the world to manifeste the consequences of destruction, abuse and suffering where self interest is the directive principle instead of What is Best for all Life.

I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that having discussion with someone in my mind in the nature of arguments and conflict IS a form of competition that I’m participating and accepting as me but only because I’m doing it secretly, I don’t ‘experience’ myself competing with anyone and thus, am able to define myself as righteous.

I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that by the very fact that I’m having arguments and conflicts with other beings in my mind, proves that the only being that I’m competing with is ME.

I commit myself to expose the nitty gritty within all the layers of my mind where I accepted and allowed myself to design, create and program myself in the nature of competition – to see the thoughts, behaviour, voice tonality, body postures and reactions and to correct myself within deleting the pattern in its totality.

I commit myself to be attentive and aware to – when and as I participate with thoughts in the nature of competition so that I could take responsibility for that which I’ve accepted and allowed to manifest within myself and my world in separation of me by bring the point back to myself and see where I’ve not aligned and sort out myself, direct, correct and change myself according and as principles that are best for all lives.

I commit myself to assist and support myself in all ways possible to stop and change the self accepted nature of competition within myself and my world.