Delusion of Ego or Self Movement? Process Support - Day 242

"When we are in situations wherein we begin participating in patterns, such as self judgement, we must make the decision to stop - an actual self will to stop the thoughts as they come up - because in truth we know exactly where these thoughts will take us, we know exactly where they are going and it is only out of a perverse sense of curiosity that we continue allowing ourselves to be consumed by the thoughts. We are within these situations all that stand in our way, because we have the tendency to allow ourselves to sink into a state of self pity and helplessness, convincing ourselves that we are unable to stop these experiences.

 

Self forgiveness and writing assists one to see where and how these patterns exist within us, though we must also make the choice to no longer participate in the patterns - we must stop - self forgiveness is useless without practically walking corrections.

 

The thoughts will continue to come up, the patterns will continue to emerge - our application and honouring of our choice must stand firm throughout the layers of our patterns. If we make a mistake, we must be willing to forgive ourselves, learn from it and continue walking our chosen path - beating ourselves up is counter productive. Consistency is key - practice, practice, practice." Cerise Poolman

 

Cerise wrote this statement on the Desteni Forum as a reply in the thread - Re: Why am I worried about my appearance SO much? which is why I have decided to write this blog as this is the KEY point each of us must realized and understand because otherwise, no REAL and constant change within and as ourselves and this world.

 

This morning, I woke up after 4 hours of sleep and the last thing I wanted to do was working in the garden. I preferred going back to sleep because I 'felt' really tired. I also had a white bunny in my pocket that I could use to excuse myself from working today - on Wednesdays, I'm not supposed to work in the Garden because my Schedule is tight up and it was decide to I support myself by not taking the extra responsibility such as working in the garden for 2 hours. However, I've seen within and as myself that specifically today, I was able to work because unlike every other Wednesday, today isn't so hectic. So I was sitting on the veranda, drinking my Coffee and felt so tired and I was about to remind everyone that today I'm not working on the garden. As I was sitting and drinking my coffee, I decided that I'm not accepting and allowing myself to excuse myself when it is not necessary but the feeling of the body being so tired was overwhelming. I then started to calculate: maybe I won't work today and I will work on Saturday for an extra 2 hours? Maybe if I won't say to anyone that my schedule isn't that hectic today, they won't expect me to work on Saturday for extra 2 hours. And as I participated in my back chat, the Atlanteans interview came up in my mind where it was suggested to when waking up, to simply align ourselves with the body and say: "Body, Let's wake up and start a new day".

So I did, I told my body, Let's do this, let's wake up, snap out of the Experience. And Guess what- I immediately woke up, went to work and started my day.

 

Now, there were many other times where I've applied this point within and as myself, but nothing changed, because what I haven't realized before was that unless I, in absolute self honesty decide to change, I won't change and the only 'change' would be me feeding more energy into and as my mind with Excuses, Justification which are nothing but a distraction to in fact change.

 

Thus the point being - One must make the absolute decision within and as oneself, in self honesty. I'm not saying it would be easy, I'm saying it is possible as I've proven that to myself many times before. One would see, that in this moments of change, Resistance exists within and as us, it is almost like a constant friction and conflict where we would bounce between thoughts, justify ourselves, and contradict our justification, find another excuse, and contradict it and we will loop this points until we would find the excuse/justification that would set us up to give in within and as ourselves and make the decision to not change.

 

So, with the Waking up point that I shared above, if one would apply it for oneself, one would find that it is quite an easy point to take on because in essence, we have nothing to lose but one or two more hours of sleep. However, the challenges is to Stop, stand as the Directive Principle in moments where our entire self definition is at stake, where our Ego is so extensive that we feel that if we would to let it go, a part of us would be lost, diminished, gone because we haven't realized that this part of us that is now about to get lost, is not who we really are, it is a pre-program design that we have imprinted and stored within and as ourselves which upon that design, created multiple personalities as our self definition that we believed to be ourselves.

 

Thus, one must develop a real and absolute self movement, self directiveness and self will because otherwise, we would keep on looping on and on with no actual change. We would then judge ourselves for not making much progress in our processes and go into self defeat mode which would be harder to step out of. Obviously, judging ourselves for not making any substantial progress is also a distraction from getting to the core/source/origin point and absolutely apply and correct ourselves, in self honesty, self will and self Power.

 

So - Let's do it because really, we don't have anything to lose but to win the greatest gift of all - Life that is REAL, trustworthy and respectful.