Delusion of Ego or Self Movement? Process Support - Day 242

"When we are in situations wherein we begin participating in patterns, such as self judgement, we must make the decision to stop - an actual self will to stop the thoughts as they come up - because in truth we know exactly where these thoughts will take us, we know exactly where they are going and it is only out of a perverse sense of curiosity that we continue allowing ourselves to be consumed by the thoughts. We are within these situations all that stand in our way, because we have the tendency to allow ourselves to sink into a state of self pity and helplessness, convincing ourselves that we are unable to stop these experiences.

 

Self forgiveness and writing assists one to see where and how these patterns exist within us, though we must also make the choice to no longer participate in the patterns - we must stop - self forgiveness is useless without practically walking corrections.

 

The thoughts will continue to come up, the patterns will continue to emerge - our application and honouring of our choice must stand firm throughout the layers of our patterns. If we make a mistake, we must be willing to forgive ourselves, learn from it and continue walking our chosen path - beating ourselves up is counter productive. Consistency is key - practice, practice, practice." Cerise Poolman

 

Cerise wrote this statement on the Desteni Forum as a reply in the thread - Re: Why am I worried about my appearance SO much? which is why I have decided to write this blog as this is the KEY point each of us must realized and understand because otherwise, no REAL and constant change within and as ourselves and this world.

 

This morning, I woke up after 4 hours of sleep and the last thing I wanted to do was working in the garden. I preferred going back to sleep because I 'felt' really tired. I also had a white bunny in my pocket that I could use to excuse myself from working today - on Wednesdays, I'm not supposed to work in the Garden because my Schedule is tight up and it was decide to I support myself by not taking the extra responsibility such as working in the garden for 2 hours. However, I've seen within and as myself that specifically today, I was able to work because unlike every other Wednesday, today isn't so hectic. So I was sitting on the veranda, drinking my Coffee and felt so tired and I was about to remind everyone that today I'm not working on the garden. As I was sitting and drinking my coffee, I decided that I'm not accepting and allowing myself to excuse myself when it is not necessary but the feeling of the body being so tired was overwhelming. I then started to calculate: maybe I won't work today and I will work on Saturday for an extra 2 hours? Maybe if I won't say to anyone that my schedule isn't that hectic today, they won't expect me to work on Saturday for extra 2 hours. And as I participated in my back chat, the Atlanteans interview came up in my mind where it was suggested to when waking up, to simply align ourselves with the body and say: "Body, Let's wake up and start a new day".

So I did, I told my body, Let's do this, let's wake up, snap out of the Experience. And Guess what- I immediately woke up, went to work and started my day.

 

Now, there were many other times where I've applied this point within and as myself, but nothing changed, because what I haven't realized before was that unless I, in absolute self honesty decide to change, I won't change and the only 'change' would be me feeding more energy into and as my mind with Excuses, Justification which are nothing but a distraction to in fact change.

 

Thus the point being - One must make the absolute decision within and as oneself, in self honesty. I'm not saying it would be easy, I'm saying it is possible as I've proven that to myself many times before. One would see, that in this moments of change, Resistance exists within and as us, it is almost like a constant friction and conflict where we would bounce between thoughts, justify ourselves, and contradict our justification, find another excuse, and contradict it and we will loop this points until we would find the excuse/justification that would set us up to give in within and as ourselves and make the decision to not change.

 

So, with the Waking up point that I shared above, if one would apply it for oneself, one would find that it is quite an easy point to take on because in essence, we have nothing to lose but one or two more hours of sleep. However, the challenges is to Stop, stand as the Directive Principle in moments where our entire self definition is at stake, where our Ego is so extensive that we feel that if we would to let it go, a part of us would be lost, diminished, gone because we haven't realized that this part of us that is now about to get lost, is not who we really are, it is a pre-program design that we have imprinted and stored within and as ourselves which upon that design, created multiple personalities as our self definition that we believed to be ourselves.

 

Thus, one must develop a real and absolute self movement, self directiveness and self will because otherwise, we would keep on looping on and on with no actual change. We would then judge ourselves for not making much progress in our processes and go into self defeat mode which would be harder to step out of. Obviously, judging ourselves for not making any substantial progress is also a distraction from getting to the core/source/origin point and absolutely apply and correct ourselves, in self honesty, self will and self Power.

 

So - Let's do it because really, we don't have anything to lose but to win the greatest gift of all - Life that is REAL, trustworthy and respectful.

 

 

 

Is Meditation the Key to Enlightenment?

Recently I've been Practicing Breathing more consistently and specifically before and during setting my body to a rest. I found an interesting point - how my tendency or shall I say, my Automated tendency is to Spiritualize such moments. Let me explain.

 

I came to Desteni from a spiritual background where I used to meditate often to "Connect" with my guides and my spiritual Masters  through the belief that Meditation is the key to MY Enlightenment. Breathing and Meditating became a momentary escape from myself and the noises that went on in my mind. However, when I realized that none of my beliefs are in any way practical and aligned with the Principle of that which is best for all, I stopped meditating however, I haven't sorted out yet my relationship with meditation as I've created it within and as myself through a process of Self Forgiveness.

 

Commonsensically, if one would look within and as oneself, one would see clearly that one's starting point within meditation or any Spiritual practice for that matter is based on one's self interest. For myself, my Self interest was to be prepared for 2012 Ascension day where I would transcend and go up to another dimension while the abuse, suffering, pain, war, etc. would continue on earth within the Self-Justification that these people need to learn their lesson and I shouldn't concern myself with them as it is part of the greater plan.

 

What I haven't realized about Meditation back then is that Meditation as a tool is not applicable since Life, Reality, is in Motion, it is always in a Movement and what worth does Meditation has if once one get up from one's comfortable cushion, one steps back to one's mind as backchat, internal conversations, reactions, emotions and feelings without even being aware of all of these.

 

What I also haven't realized back then is that Mediation from a starting point of MY own Enlightenment while abuse, suffering, war, crime, starvation, etc. is still allowed in this world, isn't acceptable within and as the principle of Equality and oneness and no matter how one would justify it for oneself, it is all that it is, a justification that one would use to not take responsibility for this world as a whole as one had protected one's ass, sitting on a cushion with the sufficient funds that would allow one to take a momentary break from this reality and sit to meditate.

 

The last point I haven't realized back then was that if the Guides and the Spiritual Masters were so Enlighten then why didn't they come with a clear, direct and applicable solution for humanity as a whole? Why their messages are always within the same context, to elevate one's Ego through utilizing good and positive words while the world is nothing but Positive?

 

Ok, so recently, and specifically after listening to the Atlanteans interviews:

The Atlanteans Guide to Physical Intimacy (Part 1) - Part 59

The Atlanteans Guide to Physical Intimacy (Part 2) - Part 60

I have started to be more diligent and specific before I set myself to sleep where I focus on Breathing, on my awareness to my physical body, clearing myself from the past day through looking at all the points that I've accepted and allowed myself to participate with as reactions, back chats, internal conversations, emotions and feelings, in separation of me. And accordingly, aligning myself, apply Self Forgiveness and give myself correction/instructions in how I would assist and support myself to correct my living application from Mind Participation to Physical Consideration.

 

Unlike meditation, my starting point wasn't to reach a certain point of Enlightenment, that would make me feel special and more than within and as myself. My starting point is very clear - I see, realize and understand that so long as I had accepted and allowed myself to participate throughout the day, within my mind, I accepted and allowed myself to accumulate and generate Energy that my mind would use to recharge the Mind systems that would functions in the background and decide for me who I am in every moment. And so, once that is done, my body can fully Rest.  (Here, I suggest to study the Quantum Mind - Self Awareness)

 

In the first night, I've noticed that I still accepting and allowing myself to spiritualize these moments of simply Breathing, being here, practicing and expanding my awareness as Experiences started to kicks in within and as myself like for instance, I felt that my head was on the pillow while the rest of the body is floating - obviously that is not so as I was here, physically, on the bed and nothing floated. So I stopped, I breathed, I didn't accept and allow myself to follow this experience because I know that this experience is based on Energy, Energy is programmable and I was the one who programmed this Experience a few years back when practicing Meditation. Another example was when I set down on my bed, still breathing and I felt as if I'm stepping out of my body, just for a tiny moment. I then stopped, Breathe because I realized that I'm in my body, equal and one and that the feeling of stepping out of the body is an Experience that I've programmed within and as myself, within and as the Desire to be MORE than who I really am.

 

It is very easy to fall into such experiences because it feels nice, it feels like we are More than who we really are but the fact of the matter is, that we are not. All that it is, in an Energetic Experience that do not have any practical foundation in becoming an Effective Human beings in this world that would direct, move themselves within each and every breath, through and as ONE principle - what is best for all Lives.

 

So, in my next blog to come, I will walk the Self Forgiveness Process to assist and support myself to delete the Spiritual association/connection that I've assigned to Breathing so that I could Breathe, as WHO I am HERE, within and as THIS physical reality as I see, realize and understand that so long as I accept and allow myself to exists within and as Mind Systems that had absolute control over me, through the Energy that I generate within any thought, reaction, emotions, feelings, etc. I would not Stand within and as Absolute physical Equality and Oneness and unless that is done, I won't see the Physical Reality Directly, within all the Particles that forms the Relationships that Life Consists of and Exists as and therefor, won't be able to stand in absolute self trust and stability in directing every thing that require to manifest a world that is best for all, in practical equal and one manner.

Facing the Evil within - the KEY to Self Awareness - Day 188

This is a continuation to:

 

The Elite's delusion of stress - Part 1 - Day 45

The Elite's Delusion of Stress - Part 2 - Day 46

The Decision of TIME - Day 67

 

And:

 

This is a continuation to:

Copy Paste Character - the Way for Success? - Day 183

Copy Paste Character - The Education System - Day 184

Is it possible to Cheat yourself? Day 185

It is time to STOP Existing as a Human Machine - Day 186

The End of Times - Day 187

 

 

 

 

And watch my Vlog - Day 187 - EVIL – Journey to Life

http://youtu.be/2A5pXxFNqdc

 

 

As I was writing for myself the Dimensions of the 'I don't have TIME' character: Fear, Thoughts, Imagination, Back chat, reactions and physical behaviour, an experience of Shame or more specifically, a reaction of shame was coming up from within me. I came to realize the nasty, evil and spiteful shit that I've accepted and allowed within and as myself and how I channelled this evilness, spitefulness and nastiness through blame and projection towards others.

 

The Fascinating point that I've realized through walking this point was that - unless I face the Evilness, Spitefulness, Nastiness that I've already become, there is no way I would become aware of the totality of myself. What we usually tend to do is to justify our own nastiness, spitefulness and Evilness that we have become, through projecting and blaming others and within that, suppress/ignore/deny our real beingness, our real self that must be faced and change.

 

The key to LIFE is through facing our Evilness - Desteni had said that many times before but no one listened; I never listened because - facing the Evilness that I've become would imply that I would must admit to myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to stand as Evil towards myself and my world and within admitting that, I must face the consequences and become OK with the fact that I'm not a good person as I deluded myself to define myself as.

 

So, I commit myself and will myself to face the true nature of what I've become as EVIL.

Understand, there is no Judgement within my words as in self honesty - I trust myself to sort out what ever I face as I stand up, I correct and I change. It is also quite clear now that there is no single man alive that isn't Evil from the inside, it is a contagious disease we are all carrying, generation after generation, denying, ignoring and suppressing who and what we have become, despite of seeing clearly how this world had become and this world, must have been created through and by Evil and the continuation through accepting and allowing the world to continue as it is, implied, show, reveal and expose our Evilness - blinded so completely, looking and seeking for our own good feeling, our own happiness, regardless of the lives that are in suffer, day in and day out. Accepting and allowing another human being to suffer as a result of a world system of abuse, corruption and greed, is accepting and allowing our Evilness nature. The world system is a direct reflection of who we are in our very beingness because who we are is defined by what we accept and allow and what we would not within and as the principle of what is best for all. The moment we have accepted and allowed ourselves to ignore, deny and suppress the Evilness without, we accepted and allowed the Evilness within which that had created from the get go, the Evilness without. So, here comes the Question - The Chicken or the Egg. However, answering the question of what came first, the chicken or the egg is irrelevant as we already lives and exists within and as the manifested consequences  of our acceptances and allowances of the Evilness - within and without.

Facing ourselves as the EVIL within, is a crucial point in one's Process because unless one face the entirety of oneself, and not only the part of oneself that self doesn't like - there is no way that self get HERE, as absolute self awareness in and as the physical.

What self 'like' and 'dislike' is a question that one must ask oneself - whether what we like and dislike are in fact what we like and dislike or a direct result of our upbringing/programming? Is it really that I don't like something or I simply fear facing and finding out for myself? Is it really that like something or is it that I have a memory experience of being validated/appreciated as external positive feedback that cause me to 'feel good' that makes me then like a specific thing?

 

So - lots more to walk and face within our Journeys to Life. It is TIME to face our true nature, our real beingness and from within that - change and correct. It's time to be aware, so absolutely, that we will never again, accept and allow ourselves to abuse and sabotage ourselves, others and existence as a whole.