From the Bossy to the Loser - Day 215

This is a continuation to:

The Elite's delusion of stress - Part 1 - Day 45	The REAL Fear - Day 192
The Elite's Delusion of Stress - Part 2 - Day 46	The things we Won't tell ANYONE - Day 193
The Decision of TIME - Day 67	Missing out on the Good Life - Day 194
The Decision of TIME - Day 67	Let's have some Fun - Day 195
Copy Paste Character - The Education System - Day 184	Stupidity Loop - Jumping from the Bad to the Good to the Bad - Day 196
Is it possible to Cheat yourself? Day 185	The Smoke Screen of Ignorance - Day 197
It is time to STOP Existing as a Human Machine - Day 186	Leaving in a Dream - Day 208
The End of Times - Day 187	Having the Life Style you always dreamt to have - Day 209
Facing the Evil within - the KEY to LIFE - Day 188	IT is MY time Now - don't say a word - Day 210
Fear of Disappointing others - Day 189	Let's go on Vacation - Day 211
The Psychology of TIME - Day 190	Comparison is a Bitch - Day 212
I Regret, therefor, I'm a Good Person. NOT!!! - Day 191	Damn, I will never have everything done - Day 213
	Standing as an Example - Self Interest or Self Realization? - Day 214

 

For the purpose of context, suggest reading these posts above prior to reading the post below, if you haven’t already. Here I will be walking the 'I don't have TIME' Character - Internal Conversation/ back chat Dimension - Practical support with Self Forgiveness and Self Commitments.

 

Here, one must understand that the Back chat, are the source of all Evil wherein, what one accepting and allowing within oneself, within the belief that no one will ever find out, is nasty and evil shit. Therefor, I will be walking back chat by back chat, in making sure I purify myself from the Evil that I've accepted and allowed within myself, in the context of the ' I don't have Time' Character.

 

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Look at X - X is working much harder then me, X is studying, working, walking the responsibilities X committed to, sleeping for 2-3 hours - if X can do it, I must do it and stop complaining.

 

Within this backchat my starting point is still in comparison that was activated within a reaction towards the idea/opinion that I don't have enough time. Thus, instead of utilizing X as an Example and within that reminding myself that there is an example that I can learn from and perfect myself to stand as Equal to this being, I participated in this backchat from the starting point of calming myself down, after a series of previous backchat that were more self destructive in nature.

 

As I've mentioned in my Previous blog - Standing as an example doesn't mean standing as more or less than anyone else, standing as an example is a self expression within the realization of: This is who I am, this is why I am here and this is how I decide to walk my life in assisting and support myself as others within the principle of Give as You would Like to Receive and as I received the Gift of having people in my Life that are standing as an example of what I could be and become, I make the decision for and as myself to walk my Own process in becoming that which I can become and so, as I walk my process, I'm Giving that which I received by standing as Example as an expression of myself.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to believe that having a backchat within the nature of calming self down is Valid and within that, haven't realized how I've manipulated myself within the belief that calming myself down through Thoughts is supportive and accordingly haven't investigated the nature of the backchat, what is behind the backchat and what is the backchat imply regarding to who I am within that moment. I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that calming myself down with thoughts is still done within a reaction and not in complete and absolute self movement of seeing what I have accepted and allowed myself to participate with and to accordingly, as I see, realize and understand the point, moving through this, bring myself here, BREATHE and keep on going. 

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to compare myself to a being that I perceive to be better than me, as a motivator Key to how I would move and direct myself through Thoughts within and as myself, not seeing, realizing and understanding that this being is simply an example of self movement that shows me that once a decision is made in absolute self honesty and clarity, self is effective within and as oneself which reflect in what one do, as an expression of who one is.

 

In this, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see the starting point within having a comparative back chat within and as myself and its relationship to the Diminishment character that I've created within and as myself wherein, I've Utilized a comparison point to "Remind" myself how I'm not good enough because there are others who are better than me and thus, I must not complain and simply do the work. In that, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see how through calming myself down in such away, through suppressing the 'I don't have time' Character, I had Shifted to the 'Diminishment Character' instead of assisting and supporting myself in standing within and as myself, so absolute and directive, in letting all of this Go, Breathe and move on.

 

A suggested reading to clarify the relationship between comparison and self diminishment:

The Self Diminishment Character - Day 94

They are Better than me, I'm so fucked up - Day 95

Taking responsibility for my creation - Day 96

 

" I don't understand how Y is doing what she is doing; I mean seriously, she is like a super woman.

What the fuck is wrong with me? why can't I simply apply myself breath by breath and have things done? Why I'm always complaining and blaming and being jealous.

 

What is "Wrong" with me is now the 'Diminishment' Character in full action that I had accepted and allowed myself to access to and give all my power away. So here, Despite of me noticing within and as myself that I compare, and complain, and blame and all of it through Jealousy, I still accept and allow this energy, this possessed entity to exists within and as me.

 

So, being so all mighty in my Previous back that that was discussed in Standing as an Example - Self Interest or Self Realization? - Day 214, to comparing myself to X, I slowly but surely went from the Polarity of being superior towards those that I've diminished in my mind, those that I had defined as ineffective in comparison to my "effectiveness", I now went into the other polarity, seeing my ineffectiveness in comparison to X and then I conclude that I'm worthless through the comparison to Y - that is how the Diminishment Character works and functions which I again suggest reading (Day 94-96)

 

I Commit myself to assist and support myself to STOP bouncing from one character to the other through NOT accepting and allowing myself any backchat whatsoever within and as my mind. I understand that it is going to take a process of Breath Accumulation and so, I commit myself to Remain Humble within and as myself, to not accept and allow myself to judge and be hard on myself and to simply, walk the layers of the mind, as it reveal itself, slowly but Surely.

 

I Commit myself to establish Self Respect within and as myself and to stop Diminishing myself and others within and as my mind as I see, realize and understand the Evil that exists within and as the Diminishment of others and I now walk the correction, Stop Comparing, competing, judging and spiting other people and myself, within and as my mind. Thus, When and as I see a backchat comes up, where I compare, judge, diminish and spite myself and others, I stop, I breathe, Delete and move on. I see, realize and understand that temptation would come and it is up to me to decide, in any given moment of breath whether I respect myself and others in self honesty, or whether I accept and allow the Evil nature of me to take over in absolute possession and so - I commit myself to assist and support myself to Decide, over and over and over again, to stand as Life until I no longer require to remind myself as I'm the living expression of Life that is best for all.

 

 

 

 

 

Facing the Evil within - the KEY to Self Awareness - Day 188

This is a continuation to:

 

The Elite's delusion of stress - Part 1 - Day 45

The Elite's Delusion of Stress - Part 2 - Day 46

The Decision of TIME - Day 67

 

And:

 

This is a continuation to:

Copy Paste Character - the Way for Success? - Day 183

Copy Paste Character - The Education System - Day 184

Is it possible to Cheat yourself? Day 185

It is time to STOP Existing as a Human Machine - Day 186

The End of Times - Day 187

 

 

 

 

And watch my Vlog - Day 187 - EVIL – Journey to Life

http://youtu.be/2A5pXxFNqdc

 

 

As I was writing for myself the Dimensions of the 'I don't have TIME' character: Fear, Thoughts, Imagination, Back chat, reactions and physical behaviour, an experience of Shame or more specifically, a reaction of shame was coming up from within me. I came to realize the nasty, evil and spiteful shit that I've accepted and allowed within and as myself and how I channelled this evilness, spitefulness and nastiness through blame and projection towards others.

 

The Fascinating point that I've realized through walking this point was that - unless I face the Evilness, Spitefulness, Nastiness that I've already become, there is no way I would become aware of the totality of myself. What we usually tend to do is to justify our own nastiness, spitefulness and Evilness that we have become, through projecting and blaming others and within that, suppress/ignore/deny our real beingness, our real self that must be faced and change.

 

The key to LIFE is through facing our Evilness - Desteni had said that many times before but no one listened; I never listened because - facing the Evilness that I've become would imply that I would must admit to myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to stand as Evil towards myself and my world and within admitting that, I must face the consequences and become OK with the fact that I'm not a good person as I deluded myself to define myself as.

 

So, I commit myself and will myself to face the true nature of what I've become as EVIL.

Understand, there is no Judgement within my words as in self honesty - I trust myself to sort out what ever I face as I stand up, I correct and I change. It is also quite clear now that there is no single man alive that isn't Evil from the inside, it is a contagious disease we are all carrying, generation after generation, denying, ignoring and suppressing who and what we have become, despite of seeing clearly how this world had become and this world, must have been created through and by Evil and the continuation through accepting and allowing the world to continue as it is, implied, show, reveal and expose our Evilness - blinded so completely, looking and seeking for our own good feeling, our own happiness, regardless of the lives that are in suffer, day in and day out. Accepting and allowing another human being to suffer as a result of a world system of abuse, corruption and greed, is accepting and allowing our Evilness nature. The world system is a direct reflection of who we are in our very beingness because who we are is defined by what we accept and allow and what we would not within and as the principle of what is best for all. The moment we have accepted and allowed ourselves to ignore, deny and suppress the Evilness without, we accepted and allowed the Evilness within which that had created from the get go, the Evilness without. So, here comes the Question - The Chicken or the Egg. However, answering the question of what came first, the chicken or the egg is irrelevant as we already lives and exists within and as the manifested consequences  of our acceptances and allowances of the Evilness - within and without.

Facing ourselves as the EVIL within, is a crucial point in one's Process because unless one face the entirety of oneself, and not only the part of oneself that self doesn't like - there is no way that self get HERE, as absolute self awareness in and as the physical.

What self 'like' and 'dislike' is a question that one must ask oneself - whether what we like and dislike are in fact what we like and dislike or a direct result of our upbringing/programming? Is it really that I don't like something or I simply fear facing and finding out for myself? Is it really that like something or is it that I have a memory experience of being validated/appreciated as external positive feedback that cause me to 'feel good' that makes me then like a specific thing?

 

So - lots more to walk and face within our Journeys to Life. It is TIME to face our true nature, our real beingness and from within that - change and correct. It's time to be aware, so absolutely, that we will never again, accept and allow ourselves to abuse and sabotage ourselves, others and existence as a whole.

 

 

Who I am is NOT what I have been taught that I am – Day 22

I forgive myself that I’ve NEVER accepted and allowed myself to question WHO I AM but was only following what I DO as a self definition and thus, I’ve tried and attempted to impress others with my personality design that I’ve created for that specific reason – to define myself according to WHAT I do instead of WHO I AM.

I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to Who I am but only according to What I do in total separation of Who I am because I’ve been taught that I must be someone and that is dependent of what I do and thus, through blindly accepting the statement that Who I will be is determine by What I will do, I created personalities to present and prove myself to others and thus could be defined according to What I Do as worthy.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed a world system that is based on competition and survival and thus, parents are directing their children to become someone in this world according to What they do with their life and I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to see how the family system is sabotaging the children from the get go wherein, instead of assisting and supporting the children to get to know WHO they are, children are prompt with the idea that they must BE something according to What they do.

I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to see that the statement: “I love you just the way you are” is conditioned to What I do in correlation to what the person who makes the statement is doing and thus defined as and also, within that statement, I did not challenged my existence and got to know Who I really am because I was limited to the perceived Love according to who I am as what I do.

I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to see that the statement of: “I love you just the way you are” is abusive in nature as the person who make such a statement assisting and supporting the being to remain a slave to one’s own mind and does not challenged the person to empower and explore self as WHO self really IS but instead, accepting the limitation of self as the mind, as how self programed oneself to be according to What self do.

I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to see that within making a statement: “I love you just the way you are” I’m compromising and sabotaging myself as well as others because what one is actually saying is: “You don’t need to chance and investigate yourself and what you have become, you can remain a slave and I won’t have to face myself through you taking the responsibility to change and challenge my existence of what I’ve become”.

I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to see that Money defines Who one Is in this world system and thus, we believe and perceive that Who we are  is in correlation to What we have become in relation to Money and thus, we have focused on ONE point – survival, instead of Making a decision that WHO we ARE is LIFE and What we Do from that starting point must support Life in all ways possible.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to deny that the family construct is the most abusive construct that exists in this world since If the education of this children within the first 7 years was according to principle of Oneness and Equality as What is Best for ALL lives, we wouldn’t have manifested a world of abuse and suffering and in fact become an effective human beings that honour LIFE and all that is Here as Equals.

I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to see the relationship between the world system and the family system and I have NOT taken into consideration that what children are learning at home in the first 7 years, will defined who they are internally and externally and within that, I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed a world system where parents are not trained and skilled to assist and support their children to be and become who they are as Life and instead, prompt ideas, beliefs and opinions within their children that are based on self interest as the survival of the fittest which created and manifested the world as we know it today – abusive, cruel and horrified world for the majority of human civilization.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to deny the world system that is based and defined according to What we Do instead of Who we are as the creator of the System and thus, abdicated the responsibility to Stand as Equal to and One as WHO we ARE and establish a world that is best for all.

I commit myself to investigate and explore how to train parents to be able to direct their children to realize WHO they are as LIFE because I realized that what children are learning at home within their first 7 years of their lives influence and determine WHO the child is IN RELATION to WHAT they do which is NOT acceptable as one must have the tools to assist and support themselves from the get go to be and become WHO they are As Life as the Physical and thus, Who one IS, isn’t defined with What one do but what One do is defined according to Who One is.

I commit myself to push and will myself to make the decision of WHO I am As Life in every moment of every breath because I realize that WHO I AM as life isn’t a momentary process but a consistently transformation of all the aspects of me, as all the layers of the mind that I’ve defined and programmed as me until I become LIFE in fact, as WHO I am.

I commit myself to expose our world of competition and present a solution that is best for all lives so that all will have equal opportunity to realize WHO we are AS life because I realize that for the world to become a world that is in fact best for all, we must all stand together as a group of humanity and take the responsibility to change ourselves and this world and I commit myself to stand as a pillar of support for those who are willing and daring to challenged their existence and in fact change as well as I commit myself to stand as a pillar of support to those who do not will themselves to change through exposing the abusive nature that we have become and keep on standing up despite of the resistances that might occur because I have made the decision to Be and Become Who I am as Life and I will do whatever it takes to stand with all of existence as one as a self directive principle within self trust.

Competition jealousy and spitefulness – Day 12

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to Ignore the thoughts that are running in my mind towards another human being and allowing it to go rampant in my mind instead of taking a moment and investigate what is the nature of the thought, What is it that I’m showing to myself when turning the point back to myself, what Am I missing while accepting thoughts towards another human being in my mind?

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed the nature competitive personality that I have become because when I was looking and observing the world, I’ve seen that everyone are competing with other human being and thus, I’ve accepted that as a social norm, imprinted that into me and lived out the competitive personality within my mind as well as in my actions.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to confuse standing up for myself with standing up as what is best for all wherein – when and as I’m standing up for myself, I access competition personality design where I’ll do my best to win a secret competition that I’ve created in my life due to jealousy that I’m experiencing towards that being; while standing up for what is best for all means – to not accept and allow any shit that is coming from me as well as other people and rather walk in every moment as within directive principle of what is best for all life in fact.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to sabotage my relationship with females throughout my life as I’m taking a step back from them due to accepted and allowed jealousy towards them and instead of sorting out myself and aligning myself, I’ve taken the quick fix “solution” as disappearing from their lives. And within that, I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to always create myself as righteous in my mind, justifying why I was right and they were wrong in addition to why the reason I disappeared from their lives was valid. What I’ve missed within it all is the opportunity to face myself, to face that which they were showing me, face the secret jealousy and competition and physically change myself to a respectful and humble human being.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to – exists in this world as a competitive human being that always seek for one’s own self interest.

I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to connect the nasty thoughts that I have towards another human being with Jealousy and competition.

I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to see the relationship between competition, spitefulness and jealousy.

I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to see that Fear of lose and fear of Failure are the origin/source/core of competition, jealousy and spitefulness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to learn from those who came before me through an example, how to design and program myself within a competitive personality design because I believe they know better than me, despite the fact that if they would have known better, this world wouldn’t have become a world of horror, abuse and suffering for the majority of this world.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire bad things to manifest for other human beings so that I could feel better with myself and my life, without realizing the consequences of my creation, without realizing that I’m sabotaging not only them but me as well, without realizing that I’m responsible for this world to manifest as an evil and abusive place because I allow those type of thoughts to occur in my mind and thus, I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to occupy my mind with secret back chat about other human beings to make myself feel superior, worthy and more than and I haven’t taken the responsibility to realize that which I allow myself to participate with and the consequences thereof – What I allow to exists within me, I allow to exists within this world and thus, I’m responsible for how and what this world has become as the equal acceptance of human beings that walk and direct themselves and this world according to a principle of “the strangers will win”.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed competition between human beings in this world because I learnt through history that only the strongest survive and if I want to survive in this world, I have to compete for my status/spot with everything that I’ve got, regardless the effect that it has on other human lives and within that, I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to connect and see the relationship between competition and fear of lose and through accepting competition, I’ve suppressed and deny myself the gift of facing my fears to be able to change myself and therefor my world to a world that is best for all, in all ways possible.

I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to see the polarity design in competition of losing and winning and thus, I’ve not accepted and allow myself to consider the losing side that exists in this world as those who were born to die so that only a select few could win and through me denying and blinding myself to see that which is HERE, I’m part of the winning side that disregard those who are unfortunate in this world.

I forgive myself that I’ve NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that we require a new education system so that we can stop for once and for all walking the sin of our fathers and support the next generation to be and become beings that are in fact applying and living the principle of oneness and equality.

I forgive myself that I’ve Not accepted and allowed myself to see the consequences of the current education system within the world system as a whole and within the family system as a part of the whole and thus, I’ve blindly walked according to those who came before me, never questioning reality and in that I’ve proved that I am a walking organic brainwashed robot that has no free will because if I had free will/choice, I would have utilize my will to make something substantial in this world and push myself to change myself as well as this world to never again create and manifest a world that is based on fears, survival, abuse and suffering.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to take the competition nature of human being for granted without question the starting point of such creation as well as not considering a world that is best for all because if I have, I would assist and support myself to stop and change me as equal to and one with this world.

I commit myself to stop the existence of me as a competitive ego personality design and change myself according to principles of do onto another that which you’d like to be done onto you.

I commit myself to work and establish a constructive educational system for the children to come where they will learn, apply and walk from the get go the principles of Oneness and Equality.

I commit myself to – When and as I see myself accessing competition with people in my world, to stop, breathe and investigate the core/source/origin point of what I’m actually dealing with.

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