My Dog as my Comfort Zone - Day 251

 

 

This is a continuation to the Series -  'How to Cope with the Death of a Pet':

 

Today, I will be investigating one Dimension within my relationship with my dog, Yalda, due to a point opened up yesterday. But first, I will share the Time Line of Events so that one could follow the reason for the point that had opened up.

 

As I've shared, we experienced on the farm a wave of unexpected Death of Animals that had now extended to a Domino effect wherein Grootman, Fidelis's horse, Physically reacted to the Lose of Titan and become Extremely Sick with a Colic diseas, to the extent of us having to be with him 24/7 to monitor his health. It seems that he pass through the hard phase and he is now alright.

Yesterday, when I was spending a moment with Esteni and Robert, Maite came to see us and called us to run towards the stable to assist with Grootman. We had to keep him moving and in turns, we took him for a run. This event went on for an hour and that was an hour after Leila, Cerise, Gian and Fidelis were running with him.

 

At some stage, the horse Vet came and we were all there to support Grootman while receiving the treatment. We were all there for hours, waiting for him to stabilize with no results. There were moments when Grootman had to be sedated and injected with Pain Killers and we were sitting outside his stable, having conversations and you know - having "forced" to have communal evening with each other. If it wasn't for Grootman suffering in Pain and the circumstances of us gathering together, it could have been a pleasant and enjoyable night.

 

I've been on the farm for more than a year now and it was the first time I spend time with all the farm people together which made me wonder about why is it that only when consequences emerged, people come close to each other and stand as a support for each other. Why can't I just enjoy the company of others and arrange Communal Gathering in a spontaneous way, without having to have consequences that would place us together in the same time/space?

 

So today, I was looking at the point of my relationship with my Dog. What also supported me in opening up the points regarding the Relationship between Humans and Pets was the Dog's Life Review we recorded Yesterday.

 

What I have not realized within my Relationship with Yalda was the Mirroring System and what she was actually busy showing me which I wasn't willing to see, till today.

 

What was cool about having a dog is that the responsibility 'forces' me to get out of the house to allow the dog to pee and shit. What was also cool that almost everyone in my neighbourhood had a dog and accordingly, I met many new people Which I enjoyed as I got to know them.

I was always grateful for my dog for being the reason of meeting new people because without her, I wouldn't not approach new people and I would not dare to start conversations with strangers.  That is the point Yalda was showing me - that in essence, I didn't really had to have her around to be able to get to know new people, I could have simply do it, approach people, with no fear. But.. I didn't saw it.

 

Yalda was my comfort zone, the thing that I could either get close to the people that I wanted to get close to, or either go away from those that I didn't want to get involved with. And on a certain level, she could sense who I didn't like and who I liked and accordingly support me in giving me the door to choose how I want her to behave in every single moment.

 

I didn't feel alone with her - I could go to the beach when ever I wanted, without having to schedule it with anyone to come with, I could go at night and take a walk in the dark, I could do what ever I wanted, as long as she was with me. The moment we were apart, I felt uncomfortable, that something is missing and I did what ever I could to go back and be with her. It was to the extreme where if a friend didn't allow me to bring her with me, I didn't went to see them, they had to come visit me. And lol, after a while, I quit my job and found other jobs where she could come and join me.

 

Anyway - the point is that - Yalda, or Animlas, give us the 'excuse' to develop Relationships, open for us a door to start talking to people and get to know them. what I haven't realized was - that the point that held me from doing the same without her was Fear.

 

I'll go up to here for today and continue with Self Forgiveness and Self Corrective application tomorrow.

Jealousy and Frustration - I want the Life they Have - Day 216

This is a continuation to:

 

The Elite's delusion of stress - Part 1 - Day 45 The Elite's Delusion of Stress - Part 2 - Day 46 The Decision of TIME - Day 67 The Decision of TIME - Day 67 Copy Paste Character - The Education System - Day 184 Is it possible to Cheat yourself? Day 185 It is time to STOP Existing as a Human Machine - Day 186 The End of Times - Day 187 Facing the Evil within - the KEY to LIFE - Day 188 Fear of Disappointing others - Day 189 The Psychology of TIME - Day 190 I Regret, therefor, I'm a Good Person. NOT!!! - Day 191 The REAL Fear - Day 192

The things we Won't tell ANYONE - Day 193 Missing out on the Good Life - Day 194 Let's have some Fun - Day 195 Stupidity Loop - Jumping from the Bad to the Good to the Bad - Day 196 The Smoke Screen of Ignorance - Day 197 Leaving in a Dream - Day 208 Having the Life Style you always dreamt to have - Day 209 IT is MY time Now - don't say a word - Day 210 Let's go on Vacation - Day 211 Comparison is a Bitch - Day 212 Damn, I will never have everything done - Day 213 Standing as an Example - Self Interest or Self Realization? - Day 214 From the Bossy to the Loser - Day 215

 

For the purpose of context, suggest reading these posts above prior to reading the post below, if you haven’t already. Here I will be walking the 'I don't have TIME' Character - Reaction Dimension - Practical support with Self Forgiveness and Self Commitments.

 

Reactions Dimension:

* Jealousy

* Frustration

* Irritation

* Anger

* Judgment and Self Judgment

* Impatient

* Self Pity

* Depression

* Anxiety

* Stress

 

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Jealousy

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to access jealousy that I've activated within my participation in the Imagination Dimension and the Backchat dimension where I would compare a specific moment to an ideal in my mind, which I've defined and valued as a Positive Experience and accordingly, become Jealous when the Physical reality is not in alignment to the Ideal Positive Experience.

In this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to Experience Jealousy towards those that according to my mind, having the Ideal Positive Experience that I desire to experience myself. Within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to attempt to diminish/judge/spite those that I'm jealous at to Balance the Negative Experience that I had accepted and allowed myself to create within and as myself, so that I could elevate myself and feel Superior and better than them.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to react in Jealousy when imagining or thinking about what Positive Experiences I could have had if I wouldn't be Busy with that which I am busy with instead of Stop the inner reaction and stand up for a Life where ALL can have Fun, where ALL could Enjoy their time with each other's company, where all have access to Entertainment. Within this, I understand my Responsibility in Making sure such a Life is would exists for everyone and thus, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to consider only myself, within a Jealousy reaction, not realizing that when I'm busy with being jealous in stead of directing myself to the best of my effectiveness, I'm prolonging the Existential process as I've wasted my time in being in my mind, instead of walking as an expression of myself, as self movement, towards the establishment of a world that is best for all.

 

I thus commit myself to assist and support myself to stop any Jealousy reactions within and as me as I see, realize and understand that accepting and allowing Jealousy to exists within me, not only I sabotage and compromise myself but also, prolonging the Collective Correction Process as a whole because unless I stand absolute stable within who I am as an expression of myself and unless I practically correct and change my Living application, there is no way I could stand as a pillar of support, as an Example that a change is possible in us standing together, correcting ourselves and this world as a whole.

 

Frustration

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to react in Frustration when looking at all the things that I must get done within the thought: "I would never get everything done", not seeing, realizing and understanding that in any moment I accept and allow myself to access an emotional reaction, it is a moment I've wasted and haven't walked in stability, in breath, to practically apply that which needs to be applied.

 

I thus, Commit myself to NOT accept and allow myself to participate in Frustration, I rather assist and support myself in taking a breath in, a breath out, stabilizing within who I am, in my own physical body, re-establish my starting point within and as myself, to stand in alignment as the principle of that which is best for all as I see, realize and understand that accepting and allowing frustration to exists within and as me, indicate that my starting point isn't absolutely clear and I thus, must re-investigate the point, see what I've missed, where did I not sort out myself yet and accordingly, walk the correction process within and as myself.

Memory makes me Robot - Day 59

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to judge a being's expression as rigid and superior and accordingly locked myself within an inferiority experience as per my accepted preprogramed design and within that, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to through judging and defining one's expression as rigid and superior, to react and direct myself within the reaction despite of me seeing the energy movement building up inside my solar plexus  and yet, I give in and allowed myself to suck into the possession more and more instead of STOP, breathe, let go of my experience of me as inferior in absolute self honesty and stand up, align myself back to myself and walk equal to and one with the being I am communicating with.

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see how I've defined and judged other's expression according to my past experiences as memories that has integrated into my flesh and has become a physical automated unconscious reactions that I've allowed to a specific types of symbolism such as - an expression of another that I've judged as rigid and superior and thus when and as I'm facing a person that stand as that symbolism, I immediately access an inferiority experience.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to exists within the experience of inferiority as my accepted pre-program design and thus, have allowed this experience to control and direct me to such an extent that whenever I'm in the face of a conflict, instead of directing myself breath by breath, I immediately accessing inferiority where I would go and isolate myself within my mind, further separating myself from myself and the other through conducting inner conversation with myself to justify my victimization, change my body posture to a stiff and rigid position and lower my eyes to the ground to avoid eye contact.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed my Ego to be my directive principle wherein when and as I'm doing a physical task and someone is correcting me, I immediately experience a pinch in my solar plexus, my body become constricted from the inside of my flesh and I than rush into my mind, in the attempt to justify why I'm right and the other is wrong and within that, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that in the physical reality, there is no right/wrong; there is ONE principle that is valid: that which is best for all and thus, if I allow myself to think my self out of the losing experience into the winner experience through utilizing the polarity of right/wrong, there is no way I will establish an effective communication with another human being that will lead to an agreement of how to walk a specific physical task at its upmost potential.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to accumulate energy in a form of back chat towards another human being over a period of time and I have abdicated my responsibility to investigate the point, STOP and GROUND the energy back to earth and align myself back to myself within and as my human physical body through applying my commitment to walk breath by breath; and I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to consider that when I'm not supporting myself in investigating within self honesty each and every back chat towards anything or anyone in this world, inevitably, the energy accumulation will hit my face where a single statement by another would trigger one of my accepted personalities and within that, I will not only sabotage myself but I also sabotage my relationships with other human being when I lose myself to my mind and become possessed.

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize, see and understand that any friction/conflict, from the smallest to the biggest between me and another human being is due to accepted and allowed continuation of back chat towards the being  and so long as I accept and allow myself to walk around with backchat/internal conversations/thoughts about anything or anyone, I will create and manifest frictions/conflicts in my world; frictions/conflicts that I could have prevented if only I would to stop, investigate, correct and change myself and thus become an effective human being in this this world instead of automated zombified creature that is enslaved and control by my own mind with zero awareness of what is REALLY here, within and as this physical reality.

I commit myself to investigate all the past memories integrations that I've allowed to to manifest and become physical automated unconscious reactions due to specific types of symbolism (expressions, body movements, voice tonalities) and accordingly delete the symbolisms through Self Forgiveness in absolute Self honesty.

I commit myself to embrace myself after I realized that I've accessed a momentarily mind possession which revealed and exposed me to a specific type of symbolism that I've associated with a past memory experience and within that, I commit myself to never take myself personally after the event and instead, BREATHE, look within myself to see how the point played out, what was the trigger point, how I've separated myself from myself and my environment, what was the back chat in the last few weeks that inevitably manifested as a mind possession and accordingly, I assist and support myself with writing Self Forgiveness in Self Honesty to delete the symbolism, align myself back to myself and correct my physical living application  breath by breath.

I commit myself to be attentive to my human physical body changes to assess 'where and who I am' in any given moment because I realized that my body posture/movement/voice tonality indicate, reveal and expose unconscious reactions to words/images/sounds/smell as a past memory experience which I'm able to take responsibility for, delete the experience through Self Forgiveness in Self Honesty and support myself to once and for all LIVE as a living expression of me, Here.

I forgive myself to STOP backchating about people in my world from the starting point of competition, jealousy, comparison and judgement because I see the consequences that such allowance can leads to. I realized that the above mind components are my own creation and thus, I support myself through bringing each and every back chat towards another back to myself and seeing where I've not aligned myself, what I haven't forgiven myself for, what is it that I'm trying to protect and accordingly assist and support myself within absolute Self honesty to

delete those components once and for all and to then thus actually and practically LIVE as an expression of me in every breath.

I commit myself to stop the SHIT that is called EGO because I realized that EGO can ONLY exists when a self interest desire for an experience exists and as the creator of the desire, as the creator of my EGO, I can recreate myself as LIFE and STOP my preprogramed designs as desires for a specific experience and accordingly change myself through a process of deletion and stopping desire for an experience by a desire for an experience in breath by breath living application.

I commit myself to investigate all types of polarities that I've accepted and allowed to exists within and as me because as long as I allow my own participation within a preprogram polarity designs, I create consequences if I'd like to or not; consequences that I directly responsible for; consequences that I could have prevented if I took the responsibility to become LIFE in fact by stopping the preprogramed automation designs that I've become. 

I commit myself to ground the energy movement back to earth when and as I experience the movement within and as me.

I commit myself to stop myself from communicating a point when the energy is still equal and one expression of me and instead, I take a moment, STOP myself, STAND UP from within and as myself, clearing myself and only when it's done, I communicate.

I commit myself to - when and as I access any type of reaction towards another human being to STOP, let my EGO go, breathe, clearing my preprogramed pattern designs, make a physical actions such as touching the other person if the person is in my direct environment, equalizing myself with the other being and direct myself within an effective and supportive communication to see where and how I've separated myself from myself and gave permission to my mind to direct, enslave and control me.

Help!! - They are influencing me - Day 32

Art by Scott Cook

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to be influenced by the words of others when and as I experience myself as inferior and thus, I believe and perceive that they know better and I should submit to their suggestion/obligation/authority  without considering the point for myself within common sense and accordingly, make a decision within self trust and walk the decision as a physical living application.

I forgive myself that I've been accepting and allowing myself to follow other beings words without considering the words for myself and WHO I am within the words as well as not investigating the words as a living expression and thus walking like a automated robot as words that I haven't integrated as myself in alignment in separation of me.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to take the words of those who I define as more than me and follow blindly what I've been told because I haven't respected and trusted myself enough to walk and direct myself according to WHO I Am as the living expression of the words within alignment to as and me.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to obey to the beings whom I defined as more than me and within that, allowed myself to be inferior to my self and haven't allowed myself to become the authority of myself as my mind within the practical living application as the directive principle of myself and my world.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to follow other beings that I define as more than/authority because I haven't allowed myself to see the points for myself as well as giving me the permission to see the points for myself and thus, compromised and limited Who I Am by blindly follow what I've been told instead of taking responsibility and within self honesty, investigate and explore point by point by point for myself and thus, only walk that which is best for all in every moment of every breath.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to be influenced by other beings and thus, already assumed that I know what their reaction would be and accordingly, design and direct myself according to how other people would like me to be instead of trusting me as WHO I am and direct and move myself without fearing what other beings say or do to me and within that, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to shape and mould myself according to how other expect me to be through projections and assumptions and I haven't realized that I'm not directly influenced by other people because I'm living it in my own mind without considering the practical common sense, who I am within it and what I will or will not accept in my world and my reality and basing my decision to principles of that which is best for all. 

Art by Scoot Cook

Within that, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to abdicate my responsibility of directing and moving myself according to that which is best for all because I've allowed myself to be influenced by other beings opinions/belief to such an extent that the scene was playing in my mind even before I did the act and I've thus, not directed myself as an expression of life but rather according to society norms as my directive principles despite of the evidence that the society norms are not the principle for the establishment of a world that is best for all because if it was, we were already living and experiencing a world that is best for all life.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to be influenced by others opinions/beliefs and thus, compromised and sabotaged my physical living expression by following whom I should be according to the society norms instead of expressing myself as Who I am that is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow through the realization that who I am isn't defined by what I do or How I do and whom I do it with but rather, who I am is the reflection of what I allow, how I allow myself to be and thus - the question is - What, how and WHO will I allow myself to be? Life or Mind? I decide Life.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to take the knowledge and information that is shared with me as the truth without questioning and investigate the information for myself and I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to question the information and knowledge that was shared with me by those whom I perceive and define as more than me because I do not trust or respect myself enough to even question them and the information that was presented.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed and gave permission to myself to be influenced by the manipulation of others whom I feel connected to and accordingly calculate my moves, assessing my expression and reacted and thus, shape and mould myself within the starting point of pleasing and avoid reaction and in that, sabotage, compromise and limiting myself and this world as that which I allow within, I allow without.

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see how I'm allowing myself to be influenced by the advertisement on the various kinds of Media and thus, created myself as automated consumer machine within the belief that if I consume, I'll be happy or satisfied as the advertisement instructed and I have never question that point of how is that I accept and allow myself to be moved by something that is separated from me without me being the directive principle that moves myself in every breath.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to be influenced and brainwashed by and through those who have come before me, within the belief that they know better as they are the authority that direct and move me and within that, abdicated the responsibility of having authority over myself as the directive principle of myself and this world and I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to be influenced by those who have come before me within the starting point of they must know better despite of the evidence that if they would have known better, they would have assisted and supported me within becoming the directive principle of myself and this world within the principle of what is best for all lives instead of assisting and supporting me to become a self interest person that do not consider everyone and everything and thus, allowed a world of abuse and suffering while I lived a world of abundance.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed the fears of those who have come before me to influenced me and the decisions that I'm making and walking instead of standing within self trust and directing myself according to that which is best for all because I realize that as I can trust my breath, I can trust myself because I always have the breath to assist and support me with applying my decision of stepping out of my mind, direct and move myself according to that which is best for all as a physical living application.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed blame those whom I perceived to influence me without taking the point back to myself within self responsibility and see how and why I've accepted and allowed myself to be influenced and thus control and enslaved to my own mind. 

Art by Scoot Cook

I commit myself to breath as the trust exists in breath and I commit myself to utilize the breath as my directive principle.

I commit myself to stop blindly follow the words of others and instead, take word by word and redefine it for myself so that I could walk the living expression of the words.

I commit myself to stop the existence of me as inferior and trust my breath to breath application because I realize that authority is my own to become as the authority of myself and I commit myself to NOT accept and allow myself to bounce from one side of the polarity to the other and align myself to myself as a physical living expression.

I commit myself to SEE ME in every moment and to question my existence in self honesty and to not accept and allow myself to blindly follow those who have come before me as I see and realize that there is no living example to follow but the example of myself as the role model that I am for myself alone.

I commit myself to investigate and explore each and every single point that is shared with me so that I won't accept and allow myself to ever again walk as a sheep after others.

I commit myself to make informed decisions after I've questioned and challenged myself in all ways possible so that I can trust WHO I am as a physical living expression in every moment of breath.

I commit myself to stand as an example for the children to come as a living physical expression that stand for what is best for all and do not accept and allow any shit from myself and others.