Jun 11, 2012 | By: A Woman

Memory makes me Robot - Day 59


life-review-how-i-ruined-my-life-with-a-memoryI forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to judge a being's expression as rigid and superior and accordingly locked myself within an inferiority experience as per my accepted preprogramed design and within that, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to through judging and defining one's expression as rigid and superior, to react and direct myself within the reaction despite of me seeing the energy movement building up inside my solar plexus  and yet, I give in and allowed myself to suck into the possession more and more instead of STOP, breathe, let go of my experience of me as inferior in absolute self honesty and stand up, align myself back to myself and walk equal to and one with the being I am communicating with.

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see how I've defined and judged other's expression according to my past experiences as memories that has integrated into my flesh and has become a physical automated unconscious reactions that I've allowed to a specific types of symbolism such as - an expression of another that I've judged as rigid and superior and thus when and as I'm facing a person that stand as that symbolism, I immediately access an inferiority experience.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to exists within the experience of inferiority as my accepted pre-program design and thus, have allowed this experience to control and direct me to such an extent that whenever I'm in the face of a conflict, instead of directing myself breath by breath, I immediately accessing inferiority where I would go and isolate myself within my mind, further separating myself from myself and the other through conducting inner conversation with myself to justify my victimization, change my body posture to a stiff and rigid position and lower my eyes to the ground to avoid eye contact.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed my Ego to be my directive principle wherein when and as I'm doing a physical task and someone is correcting me, I immediately experience a pinch in my solar plexus, my body become constricted from the inside of my flesh and I than rush into my mind, in the attempt to justify why I'm right and the other is wrong and within that, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that in the physical reality, there is no right/wrong; there is ONE principle that is valid: that which is best for all and thus, if I allow myself to think my self out of the losing experience into the winner experience through utilizing the polarity of right/wrong, there is no way I will establish an effective communication with another human being that will lead to an agreement of how to walk a specific physical task at its upmost potential.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to accumulate energy in a form of back chat towards another human being over a period of time and I have abdicated my responsibility to investigate the point, STOP and GROUND the energy back to earth and align myself back to myself within and as my human physical body through applying my commitment to walk breath by breath; and I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to consider that when I'm not supporting myself in investigating within self honesty each and every back chat towards anything or anyone in this world, inevitably, the energy accumulation will hit my face where a single statement by another would trigger one of my accepted personalities and within that, I will not only sabotage myself but I also sabotage my relationships with other human being when I lose myself to my mind and become possessed.

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize, see and understand that any friction/conflict, from the smallest to the biggest between me and another human being is due to accepted and allowed continuation of back chat towards the being  and so long as I accept and allow myself to walk around with backchat/internal conversations/thoughts about anything or anyone, I will create and manifest frictions/conflicts in my world; frictions/conflicts that I could have prevented if only I would to stop, investigate, correct and change myself and thus become an effective human being in this this world instead of automated zombified creature that is enslaved and control by my own mind with zero awareness of what is REALLY here, within and as this physical reality.

I commit myself to investigate all the past memories integrations that I've allowed to to manifest and become physical automated unconscious reactions due to specific types of symbolism (expressions, body movements, voice tonalities) and accordingly delete the symbolisms through Self Forgiveness in absolute Self honesty.

I commit myself to embrace myself after I realized that I've accessed a momentarily mind possession which revealed and exposed me to a specific type of symbolism that I've associated with a past memory experience and within that, I commit myself to never take myself personally after the event and instead, BREATHE, look within myself to see how the point played out, what was the trigger point, how I've separated myself from myself and my environment, what was the back chat in the last few weeks that inevitably manifested as a mind possession and accordingly, I assist and support myself with writing Self Forgiveness in Self Honesty to delete the symbolism, align myself back to myself and correct my physical living application  breath by breath.

I commit myself to be attentive to my human physical body changes to assess 'where and who I am' in any given moment because I realized that my body posture/movement/voice tonality indicate, reveal and expose unconscious reactions to words/images/sounds/smell as a past memory experience which I'm able to take responsibility for, delete the experience through Self Forgiveness in Self Honesty and support myself to once and for all LIVE as a living expression of me, Here.

I forgive myself to STOP backchating about people in my world from the starting point of competition, jealousy, comparison and judgement because I see the consequences that such allowance can leads to. I realized that the above mind components are my own creation and thus, I support myself through bringing each and every back chat towards another back to myself and seeing where I've not aligned myself, what I haven't forgiven myself for, what is it that I'm trying to protect and accordingly assist and support myself within absolute Self honesty to
delete those components once and for all and to then thus actually and practically LIVE as an expression of me in every breath.

I commit myself to stop the SHIT that is called EGO because I realized that EGO can ONLY exists when a self interest desire for an experience exists and as the creator of the desire, as the creator of my EGO, I can recreate myself as LIFE and STOP my preprogramed designs as desires for a specific experience and accordingly change myself through a process of deletion and stopping desire for an experience by a desire for an experience in breath by breath living application.

I commit myself to investigate all types of polarities that I've accepted and allowed to exists within and as me because as long as I allow my own participation within a preprogram polarity designs, I create consequences if I'd like to or not; consequences that I directly responsible for; consequences that I could have prevented if I took the responsibility to become LIFE in fact by stopping the preprogramed automation designs that I've become. 

I commit myself to ground the energy movement back to earth when and as I experience the movement within and as me.

I commit myself to stop myself from communicating a point when the energy is still equal and one expression of me and instead, I take a moment, STOP myself, STAND UP from within and as myself, clearing myself and only when it's done, I communicate.

I commit myself to - when and as I access any type of reaction towards another human being to STOP, let my EGO go, breathe, clearing my preprogramed pattern designs, make a physical actions such as touching the other person if the person is in my direct environment, equalizing myself with the other being and direct myself within an effective and supportive communication to see where and how I've separated myself from myself and gave permission to my mind to direct, enslave and control me.

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