Emotional Attachment and Physical connection (Part 3) - Day 462

In the Previous Blog, I started walking the investigation process in relation to a reaction that I had within myself when I heard that one of the dogs in my house is sick. It is Fascinating how one single and small reaction opens up a lot within oneself. So if you haven't already, I suggest first reading the first 2 blogs:

Emotional Attachment and Physical connection (Part 1) - Day 460

Emotional Attachment and Physical connection (Part 2) - Day 461

 

Within this blog, I will expand the paragraph from the second blog:

"The other dimension where the pack is standing as a stability point in my life - again, it is not THE dimension that I am working with here because I left them so many times and I was stable within myself and thus, I came to the conclusion that feeling of "I'm never alone" is a mind trick that I used to suppress the real issue that I haven't seen yet."

 

Here, I want to explain what does it means that the mind played tricks on me and what was the purpose of such a "trick".

 

To understand this point, it is best if you also read through the blogs series where I shared about my relationship with Yalda:

My Dog as my Comfort Zone - Day 251

My Relationship with My Dog Continue - Day 253

My Relationship with my Dog - Self Forgiveness - Day 254

Pets as a reflection of Self Intimacy - Day 252

 

If you read these blogs, you would see how my relationship with Yalda was based on ONE element that I wasn't able to give to myself at that time, which was the 'Not Feeling Alone' experience that I placed Yalda, to stand as/for me. Meaning, instead of assisting and supporting myself to stand alone within stability, I shifted the responsibility towards my dog so that she could stand as that point for me.

 

With Yalda no longer being part of my direct environment when I moved to the farm, initially, I replaced the experience that Yalda gave me of 'not feeling alone' with the pack of dogs that we have on the farm. Why the whole pack? Because I didn't want to form a relationship with a dog because I didn't know how long will I stay on the farm and I didn't want to experience again the emotional experience when leaving another dog behind.

So, as a pack, it is not so personal in comparison to a one on one relationship with one dog so I just placed all of them together within myself so that I will never feel alone and that was until Babitjie came into my life and "forced" me to get over my shit and to allow myself to connect again to another being. At the same time, it was when I was already in a process of walking the correction of standing alone regardless of who is or isn't in my environment as a point of self trust.

 

The interesting thing that opened up in relation to the statement that the mind played tricks on me - here the mind used past association that I've created in my mind in relation to the experience of not feeling alone = the pack even though the association doesn't exist anymore as an expression of myself. Thus, when I started looking at my reaction to Gracie being sick, this point came up as if it is the primary point I must look at in my relationship to Gracie in how for instance, Gracie's presence fulfil the experience of not feeling alone however, if I would to stop investigating there, I would have missed THE dimension of what animals give me that I'm not able to give to myself.

 

Here again, we have to understand how the mind works - even though I no longer associate animals to the feeling of 'not being alone' experience - when the association between Gracie/Yalda/Pack = 'not feeling alone' came up, it "felt" as if this is the point that I was working with which is exactly how suppression manifest when  the primary point doesn't reveal itself and yet, I was for a moment, under the impression that THIS IS the point. When one is under the impression that one had found the point one was working with, one would normally not push oneself to discover more dimensions within oneself within one's process of change.

 

So, when I investigate points within myself, I would always cross reference myself. What I normally do is bringing the trigger point that activate the reaction 'here' and then I assess my physical body, to see whether there is or isn't any energetic movement within myself. The principle is - if in self honesty nothing moves within myself, than I'm satisfied that the point is clear but if there is a movement inside myself, even the slightest movement, I will continue checking and investigating the point within myself and when I'm done, I would again bring the moment here and assess any energy movement throughout my body. In cases where the movement is undefined, I would also cross reference the points with others to see if they see something that I haven't seen.

 

With the Gracie point, it was undefined movement and so, I went to speak with Sunette and what she explained, opened up an interesting point which I will share in the next blog.

 

Emotional Attachment and Physical connection (Part 2) - Day 461

In my previous blog, I started to investigate the difference between Emotional attachment and Physical Connection as I saw a reaction within myself towards one of the dogs that was sick. Thus, for context, please read through the previous blog as this series also show a practical example for how to assist and support oneself in investigating points within oneself through a process of writing.

(Emotional Attachment and Physical connection (Part 1) - Day 460)

 

 

 

 

 

I ended off with looking at 2 dimensions that might explain my reaction towards Gracie being sick:

1. Gracie's Nature is extremely similar to my dog that I left behind when I moved to the farm. I was extremely attached to my dog, Yalda, and it took me months to release the emotional connection that I formed within myself however, the characteristics that Yalda has, are very similar to Gracie's so forming a relationship connection with Gracie was very natural.
2. How Gracie in particular and the pack in general stand as stable point in my life whereas, they are always here when I wake up, they are always here when I go to sleep, they are always here when I come home... And within that, I never feel alone. 

 

However, within myself, I "knew" that it was not THE dimension that I was working with in relation to Gracie because when I looked again at these points above, and checked within myself, I realized that it cannot be it because I have already walked these points and tested myself in the physical reality.

For context - For 2 whole years, I didn't allow myself to see Yalda, my dog, when I went to visit my home town; I felt that if I would, I would confuse both her and I due to the nature of our relationship that we had before I gave her a way, where we were both extremely dependent on each other's presence. I wanted to make sure that none of us would experience the traumatic experience of separating from each other again, and I considered that as long as I carry the emotional attachment within me, she would pick it up and access the experience herself because, from the feedback that I received from her adopting family, she was quite depressed when in the first few weeks after I gave her away.

 

Once I was stable within myself in relation to my relationship with Yalda and I  ensured that I walked through all the dimensions, I tested my application in the physical reality. I dared myself after 2 years to go and assess who I am in relation to Yalda when/as I see her in the physical reality - I went to visit Yalda in one of my home trips - it was an absolute pleasure seeing and playing with her again. I found that the emotional attachment was no longer there, it was pure expression of both Yalda and I enjoying each other and when it was time to leave again, nothing inside me moved. Obviously, here one must understand that in no way it means that I no longer care about Yalda - all it means is that the relationship with Yalda is not emotional relationship but rather a physical connection that we share with each other. I obviously went to test myself for the second time when I visit my home town 6 months after and again, when we met each other, it was enjoyable as if time didn't play a rule in our physical relationship that still very much existent.

 

Thus, for me it means that the first dimension that I was looking at in the context of Gracie and Yalda is not THE point - my relationship with Gracie has nothing to do with Yalda per say.

 

The other dimension where the pack is standing as a stability point in my life - again, it is not THE dimension that I am working with here because I left them so many times and I was stable within myself and thus, I came to the conclusion that feeling of "I'm never alone" is a mind trick that I used to suppress the real issue that I haven't seen yet. (This, I will expand on my next blog)

 

So, I set down again and continued investigating the reaction within myself. I was asking myself - what do animals give me that I am not yet accepting and allowing to give to myself? Meaning, what is the specific emotional attachment that I form with some animals as a way to fulfil something inside me that I feel lacking of.

 

The primary point that I'm looking at is the relationship or the difference, to be more specific, between emotional attachment and intimate physical connection with another being, say a human or an animal.

The point with Yalda shows very clearly that by removing the emotional attachment, a physical connection is emerging and if anything the relationship is much more real so from that perspective, I have decided to investigate my relationship to each and every being I have form an emotional attachment to, find what is the specific point that I perceived them to give me which I am not giving to myself and accordingly, I could transform the emotional relationship to a physical connection that stand the end of times.

 

By now, it is obvious to me that I have not yet got deep enough into this point within myself as these points keep on coming up recently which you can also read in the blog: "Over Sensitive".

 

Will continue sharing - stay tuned.

Emotional Attachment and Physical connection (Part 1) - Day 460

(Note – I started writing this blog 2 weeks ago, so the events that took place was in alignment to when the blog was written)

 

More than a year ago, I shared about my relationship towards Babitjie, one of our cats that had died. (How to Deal with a Death of our Pet - Part 2 - Day 249). Since than, it took me a while to connect again to another animal because unconsciously, I didn't want to experience again the feeling of losing a loved animal.

 

In the past couple of months, I started connecting again with the dogs that lives with us and especially with Gracie, Blackie and Zack as they are the primary dogs that spend their time with me.

 

3 weeks ago, Gracie started showing a problem with her ears - we have been taking her to the vet couple of times since then, to find a treatment that will work for her. Today, they had to give her anesthetics so that they can see better what is going on inside her ears. They found the problem and Gracie returned home to recover from the anesthetics but a few hours later, the Vet called and said that we have to take her in again next week because the blood test were indecisive.

 

The moment I heard that, there was a reaction within myself. The first words that came from my mouth were: "but why every animal I'm getting attached to is dying". The interesting thing is that Gracie isn't dying and we don't even know what the blood tests mean and besides, it’s not that all the animals are dying, it  was only Babitjie that had died and there are so many other animals that I have connection with, and they are perfectly ok. What was also interesting was the specific words that I spoke out of reaction: "Attached to" - which carried emotional energetic charge to it.

 

So I started looking at my reactions and where it all came from:

1. Gracie's Nature is extremely similar to my dog that I left behind when I moved to the farm. I was extremely attached to my dog, Yalda, and it took me months to release the emotional connection that I formed within myself however, the characteristics that Yalda has, are very similar to Gracie's so forming a relationship connection with Gracie was very natural.

2. How Gracie in particular and the pack in general stand as stable point in my life whereas, they are always here when I wake up, they are always here when I go to sleep, they are always here when I come home... And within that, I never feel alone. 

 

Will continue opening these points more in my next blog as well as practically showing how I am working with points (reactions) that comes up in my reality in terms of how I assist and support myself with investigating points within myself through writing these blogs.

Far from the Eye, Far from the Heart - Day 347

 

 

2000 miles from Human Civilization the affects of the Man-Made garbage is taking a role in the destruction and abuse of Nature and the Animal Kingdom. Far from the Eye, Far from the Heart is it not? Otherwise, how could we possibly explain the fact that we are directly responsible for the mass murder of Albatross because

20 tons of Man-Made debris ends up on Midway each year wherein 5 tons of that is the plastic fed to the chicks which cause life threatening injuries as the Plastic punctures the Bird's Stomach. When we add the fact that many birds dies from Dehydration, starvation and poisonous toxicity, we get a definition for a cruel mass murder by us human beings.

 

Please watch the following short film before continuing reading this blog:

Plastic in Albatross Chicks at Midway Atoll - YouTube

 

And yet - it is accepted and allowed because apparently, what we cannot see, cannot heart us even though the Harm is visible and very much real for millions of creatures around the world.

 

So, with the Equal Money System, these things will cease to exists as the Education of the Humans would be one of the paramount goals so that we would no longer be able to justify the abuse in this world by saying: "but I didn't know" because we will know exactly what has been accepted and allowed thus far and what needs to be done to correct the consequences we are all directly and indirectly responsible and accountable for.

 

It is time to take things into our own hands and no longer sit back and Hope that everything will be ok by justifying to ourselves and saying "there are activists groups that would take care of different points, all I have to do is pass on the video showing the poor birds to show that I care." As you well known, a significant change/correction isn't seen in this world despite of the multiple activists organizations that claim to care about the world because they do not have the solution, they do not even see the source of the problem. Understand, we are looking at a interconnected problem that cannot be solved if only one or a few points are solved and this is why a solution that is trustworthy and effective would be a solution that encompasses all the interconnected relationships, problems and therefore, solutions. At the end, it all comes down to the root/cause/source of the problems we see (or deny) in this world which is the individual self interest design of Power/Greed/Control through a piece of paper called: "Money".

 

So, if you truly care - don't stop by sending this blog or the documentary to your peers by E-mail. Prove that you care and participate with creating the building blocks of a new world that is best for all. There are lots of research that still needs to be done and many points must still be investigated - it's going to take time that we cannot afford to waste as there are beings (Humans/Animals/Nature) that are dependent on you and I to actually walk the solution and stand as the example. If you do not have the time but do have the means, please support the Equal Money Movement. Unfortunately, to do what the Equal Money Movement and its members are doing, cost money and lots of it because we are still living in a world where money dictates every movement one take.

My Dog as my Comfort Zone - Day 251

 

 

This is a continuation to the Series -  'How to Cope with the Death of a Pet':

 

Today, I will be investigating one Dimension within my relationship with my dog, Yalda, due to a point opened up yesterday. But first, I will share the Time Line of Events so that one could follow the reason for the point that had opened up.

 

As I've shared, we experienced on the farm a wave of unexpected Death of Animals that had now extended to a Domino effect wherein Grootman, Fidelis's horse, Physically reacted to the Lose of Titan and become Extremely Sick with a Colic diseas, to the extent of us having to be with him 24/7 to monitor his health. It seems that he pass through the hard phase and he is now alright.

Yesterday, when I was spending a moment with Esteni and Robert, Maite came to see us and called us to run towards the stable to assist with Grootman. We had to keep him moving and in turns, we took him for a run. This event went on for an hour and that was an hour after Leila, Cerise, Gian and Fidelis were running with him.

 

At some stage, the horse Vet came and we were all there to support Grootman while receiving the treatment. We were all there for hours, waiting for him to stabilize with no results. There were moments when Grootman had to be sedated and injected with Pain Killers and we were sitting outside his stable, having conversations and you know - having "forced" to have communal evening with each other. If it wasn't for Grootman suffering in Pain and the circumstances of us gathering together, it could have been a pleasant and enjoyable night.

 

I've been on the farm for more than a year now and it was the first time I spend time with all the farm people together which made me wonder about why is it that only when consequences emerged, people come close to each other and stand as a support for each other. Why can't I just enjoy the company of others and arrange Communal Gathering in a spontaneous way, without having to have consequences that would place us together in the same time/space?

 

So today, I was looking at the point of my relationship with my Dog. What also supported me in opening up the points regarding the Relationship between Humans and Pets was the Dog's Life Review we recorded Yesterday.

 

What I have not realized within my Relationship with Yalda was the Mirroring System and what she was actually busy showing me which I wasn't willing to see, till today.

 

What was cool about having a dog is that the responsibility 'forces' me to get out of the house to allow the dog to pee and shit. What was also cool that almost everyone in my neighbourhood had a dog and accordingly, I met many new people Which I enjoyed as I got to know them.

I was always grateful for my dog for being the reason of meeting new people because without her, I wouldn't not approach new people and I would not dare to start conversations with strangers.  That is the point Yalda was showing me - that in essence, I didn't really had to have her around to be able to get to know new people, I could have simply do it, approach people, with no fear. But.. I didn't saw it.

 

Yalda was my comfort zone, the thing that I could either get close to the people that I wanted to get close to, or either go away from those that I didn't want to get involved with. And on a certain level, she could sense who I didn't like and who I liked and accordingly support me in giving me the door to choose how I want her to behave in every single moment.

 

I didn't feel alone with her - I could go to the beach when ever I wanted, without having to schedule it with anyone to come with, I could go at night and take a walk in the dark, I could do what ever I wanted, as long as she was with me. The moment we were apart, I felt uncomfortable, that something is missing and I did what ever I could to go back and be with her. It was to the extreme where if a friend didn't allow me to bring her with me, I didn't went to see them, they had to come visit me. And lol, after a while, I quit my job and found other jobs where she could come and join me.

 

Anyway - the point is that - Yalda, or Animlas, give us the 'excuse' to develop Relationships, open for us a door to start talking to people and get to know them. what I haven't realized was - that the point that held me from doing the same without her was Fear.

 

I'll go up to here for today and continue with Self Forgiveness and Self Corrective application tomorrow.