Learning to Accept myself - Practical Application (Part 1) Day 411

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to value what others think about me or more specifically, what I believed that others thinks of me and through this perceived value, I would then judge myself positively or negatively and created an idea of myself, in my own mind as to either being accepted or unaccepted by others through which I either accepted or unaccepted myself.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to take one moment of when another was reacting to me, and in that moment, take the other personally and so placed an imaginary shield within myself, believing that this person was no longer accepting me and thus, I must walk away from this relationship. In that, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that reacting and taking things personally, walking away from a relationship/friendship also means that not only I compromise myself in giving power to the thoughts in my mind to define who I am and to then thus, abdicating my responsibility in walking away from the relationship/friendship without introspection/investigation and so, creating the same pattern again in the next relationship/friendship that I start immediately developing.

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that as long as I am reacting to another and taking them personally, I cannot practically support them in seeing their self-responsibility within their reactions and thus contributing to the predisposition of our dysfunctional relationship.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to create a pattern within and as myself wherein the moment I react to another within the context of taking their words personally to then leave, either physically or mentally instead of taking a breath, looking at all things, all relationships, dimensions, play outs, etc. and from that moment of clarity, to then direct myself effectively, stand in self responsibility and if necessary, communicate the point with the other within the starting point of mutual assistance and support.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to place self value, self worth, self acceptance through other people's eye views without realizing that what I perceived to be the way others are valuing or accepting me is through my own mind, as how I saw myself and through this separation, not realizing that I was my own worst enemy and that I was always the one who in fact sabotaged and compromised myself.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to see a conflict as the end of a relationship/friendship and so, when and as a conflict was created, I believed the end is close and so, not realizing that through that belief, I have actually created the end of the relationship/friendship slowly but surely made this belief real within and as myself as justification for myself to either run away from the relationship/friendship or unconsciously behave in a way that would literally end the relationship/friendship.

I commit myself to when and as a conflict with another comes up, to then stop any and all participation in reactions within and as myself, breathe, investigate, stand in absolute self responsibility in self honesty and direct myself effectively.

I commit myself to when and as another is making a statement about me, to stop any and all reactions that come up from within me, ask the person to clarify the statement and investigate in self honesty who I am within that statement, what is the context of which the statement was said and thus, I commit myself to make assumptions in my own mind as to what the person meant but to instead, be direct, clarify the point and if there is a problem to then find and walk solution that is best.

I realize that within self acceptance - no matter what another is saying to or towards me, nothing within me moves as I take in the information, assess, investigate and check the information, who I am in relation to the information and accordingly, trust myself to direct myself to the utmost potential in any moment of breath. I commit myself to stop sabotaging myself through and within taking another personally and thus, I commit myself to transform these reactions into solutions through effective communication.

Stupidity Loop - Jumping from the Bad to the Good to the Bad - Day 196

This is a continuation to:

The Elite's delusion of stress - Part 1 - Day 45

The Elite's Delusion of Stress - Part 2 - Day 46

The Decision of TIME - Day 67

And:

Copy Paste Character - the Way for Success? - Day 183

Copy Paste Character - The Education System - Day 184

Is it possible to Cheat yourself? Day 185

It is time to STOP Existing as a Human Machine - Day 186

The End of Times - Day 187

Facing the Evil within - the KEY to LIFE - Day 188

Fear of Disappointing others - Day 189

The Psychology of TIME - Day 190

I Regret, therefor, I'm a Good Person. NOT!!! - Day 191

The REAL Fear - Day 192

The things we Won't tell ANYONE - Day 193

Missing out on the Good Life - Day 194

Let's have some Fun - Day 195

For the purpose of context, suggest reading these posts above prior to reading the post below, if you haven’t already. Here I will be walking the 'I don't have TIME' Character -Imagination Dimension - Practical support with Self Forgiveness and Self Commitments.

 

Imagination Dimension:

* I fantasize of taking a vacation, lying down on the beach, with nothing else to do but enjoy the sun, swimming in the ocean, going to a restaurant, having a fruit shake - in India or Thailand lol.

* I imagine other people doing the same just now, while I'm stuck on the computer, doing my routine work.

* I imagine the life of those who have money and can do what ever they want with their life - having a spa day, going out, enjoying themselves as I used to do myself a few years back.

* I imagine people coming back from work, after a long day, and sitting on the coach with their partner, hanging out, watching a movie, laying back, with nothing really to do.

 

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* I fantasize of taking a vacation, lying down on the beach, with nothing else to do but enjoy the sun, swimming in the ocean, going to a restaurant, having a fruit shake - in India or Thailand lol.

 

This is a direct imagination deriving from the initial picture that I've seen yesterday and I have shared in my blog: Let's have some Fun - Day 195

 

Self Forgiveness:

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to hold onto a memory experience of me spending a long period of time overseas where all I've done all day was lying on the beach during the days and partying during the nights and within that memory, contain the experience of Freedom as an energetic experience.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to limit myself to such an extent, believing that lying on the beach and partying at night is the definition of Freedom and within that, deliberately "forgetting" the inner Negative experience that I've experienced while on vacation, the anxiety when meeting new people, the depression that I've suppressed and the slight sadness that was constant within and as me. Within that, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to deliberately suppress the Negative experience and only remember the positive experience so that I won't have to face, correct and change both the Negative and Positive as Energetic experiences and in that, remain limited to only exists as polarized Energy experiences that would activate constantly and continuously the 'I don't have time' Character that I've accepted and allowed as myself.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to NOT allow myself to investigate how the mind works and functions and who I am as the mind and thus, when and as a picture of a good and positive experience came up from within me, instead of stopping and investigating the source/nature of the picture, what the picture represents, why the picture suddenly came up, who I am as the picture, what activate the picture, where did this picture came from and what the picture implies about me, I've accepted and allowed myself to follow and go into the imagination dimension, preoccupying myself in my mind, in total separation from what is REAL, as Breathe, this Physical reality because, in doing so, I don't have to face the physicality, that which is Real, and that which is going on in front of me - Life, that I've missed in every moment I've accepted and allowed myself being in my mind, within the imagination domain.

 

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand the stupidity loop that I've accepted and allowed within myself wherein - what I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize is that both the Negative experience as what I face in the physical reality within the 'I don't have time' character and the positive Experience that I'm imagining in my mind - Both are NOT real from the perspective that both is my acceptance and allowance of seeing existent through my eyes as the mind and not seeing the physical reality as a whole, directly, in a quantum moment. Meaning - the Negative experience as I perceive my reality to be like as a burden of all the tasks and work I must do, in a specific moment that the 'I don't have time' character is activated is through a veil that I've placed, Deliberately, as a mind Barrier and that negative experience can only exists through comparing the experience to the positive experience as imagination, in my mind.

 

Self Commitments:

 

I commit myself to SHOW and PROVE that how we see reality is ONLY through our mind as accumulated experiences that we so blindly believe to be real where our own self interest is the stepping stone which we would direct, move and walk this LIFE with no consideration to the actual and real Physical reality, to not face all of ourselves - bad and good, the Negative and Positive as energy experiences, so that we won't have to  take the responsibility, change and correct ourselves within and without - ourselves and this world as a whole, in physical Equality and Oneness.

 

I commit myself to when and as I see myself going into the imagination domain, in my mind, to stop, breathe and question the existent of the imagination, in specificity and in that- to ask myself questions and answer in self honesty until I see the entire design, see the positive/Negative experience cycle I've participated within and as and in that, investigate what it was , that I've tried to ignore, deny and suppress as the negative experience through running away to the realms of my mind as imagination as the positive experience and obviously, accordingly, change and correct my physical application.

Let's have some Fun - Day 195

 

 

This is a continuation to:

The Elite's delusion of stress - Part 1 - Day 45

The Elite's Delusion of Stress - Part 2 - Day 46

The Decision of TIME - Day 67

And:

Copy Paste Character - the Way for Success? - Day 183

Copy Paste Character - The Education System - Day 184

Is it possible to Cheat yourself? Day 185

It is time to STOP Existing as a Human Machine - Day 186

The End of Times - Day 187

Facing the Evil within - the KEY to LIFE - Day 188

Fear of Disappointing others - Day 189

The Psychology of TIME - Day 190

I Regret, therefor, I'm a Good Person. NOT!!! - Day 191

The REAL Fear - Day 192

The things we Won't tell ANYONE - Day 193

Missing out on the Good Life - Day 194

 

For the purpose of context, suggest reading these posts above prior to reading the post below, if you haven’t already. Here I will be walking the 'I don't have TIME' Character - Thought as Picture Dimension - Practical support with Self Forgiveness and Self Commitments.

 

 

Thoughts Dimension:

I see myself pleasuring out in the sun, taking a swim, lying on the grass, watching a movie.

 

In looking at my words - it is clear that the thought that pop up in my head when I access the 'I don't have time' character is based on………… Self Interest. Because what the picture represents is a Desire for a Positive experience that would benefit ME and ME alone and even if I wouldn't act on it in my day to day living application, I still desire it, it is still a point that influence the decisions I make because I've separated myself from the Desire to such an extent that I couldn't even see the existent of the Desire within and as me because this thought as picture flashes so fast that unless I slow down completely from the starting point of being self honest with myself and see it, I would never notice or have been aware that this thought as picture is existent within and as me; and accordingly, would have still make decisions based on a Desire that I'm not even aware of, in total separation from myself, as an automated machine with no self awareness whatsoever.

 

Thus -

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to separate myself to such an extent that I'm not aware at all of my own mind flashing thoughts as picture, in quantum time, which then thus, these thoughts as picture would the hidden foundation of my decisions within the belief that it was ME who made the decision, that the decision was informed, calculated, considered.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to come up with a picture in my head of me pleasuring out in the sun, taking a swim or lying in the grass or watching a movie that activated the possession of 'I don't have TIME' character and through accepting and allowing this picture to exists within and as me, I've accepted and allowed myself to get myself further into the realm of my mind, feeling sorry for myself for not having time to do the things I believe I enjoy doing because it is apparently, gives me a positive energetic feeling, as an experience.

 

I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that for the mind, Participating in the 'I don't have time' character is a "positive" thing because the mind isn't functioning on the differentiation between positive and Negative energy; for the mind, energy is just energy that the mind would utilize for its survival. In that, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to See, Realize and Understand that the polarity within the 'I don't have time' character exists within and as one's self interest desire for positive experience vs. the Negative Experience such as feeling sorry for oneself for having lots of work to do.

 

In that, I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to see that for the polarity existent within the 'I don't have time' character, the thought as a picture activate the character from a comparison starting point wherein, unless one compare one's current experience through a picture of a desired positive experience, one would not be able to define one's current experience as negative. 

Thus,

 

I commit myself to assist and support myself with getting to know the entirety of myself and in that, to slow myself Down so completely that I would be able to see what I've accepted and allowed myself to activate each and every character that I've created within and as myself and through realizing the design of the character, the activation/trigger point, I would understand and realize how I as the mind works and functions and accordingly, Forgive myself for my previous acceptance and allowances in separation of myself and practically assist and support myself in changing the pattern/characters/personality to no longer be govern by my own creation that I've created in separation of and as myself.

 

I commit myself to delete the picture in my mind - 'pleasuring out in the sun, taking a swim, lying on the grass, watching a movie' as I now see, realize and understand why and how I've accepted and allowed this picture to exists within and as me as the foundation of the 'I don't have time' character so that I could compare my current experience with the experience the picture represents, which would perpetuate the negative experience and from there - the path to self destruction is already known.

 

I commit myself to further expand the investigation and self introspection regarding Self Interest in its entirety and all the various dimensions of myself as my mind as I see now, how Evil it is in fact, to exists within and as Self Interest and the consequences self interest application manifest within my life and the life of all.

The things we Won't tell ANYONE - Day 193

This is a continuation to:

The Elite's delusion of stress - Part 1 - Day 45

The Elite's Delusion of Stress - Part 2 - Day 46

The Decision of TIME - Day 67

And:

Copy Paste Character - the Way for Success? - Day 183

Copy Paste Character - The Education System - Day 184

Is it possible to Cheat yourself? Day 185

It is time to STOP Existing as a Human Machine - Day 186

The End of Times - Day 187

Facing the Evil within - the KEY to LIFE - Day 188

Fear of Disappointing others - Day 189

The Psychology of TIME - Day 190

I Regret, therefor, I'm a Good Person. NOT!!! - Day 191

The REAL Fear - Day 192

 

For the purpose of context, suggest reading these posts above prior to reading the post below, if you haven’t already. Here I will be walking the 'I don't have TIME' Character - Fear Dimension - Practical support with Self Forgiveness and Self Commitments.

 

The List below consists of the Fears which are the foundation of the 'I don't have Time' Character.

 

Fear Dimension:

* Fear that I'll disappoint other people if I won't take more tasks on myself

* Fear that I would be defined as unworthy because I'm not using my time to

it's utmost potential.

* Fear that I won't get things done and would regret it when consequences

would emerged so basically, fear of the consequences.

* Fear that I would be seen as not good enough, replaceable, inadequate

* Fear of being exposed as self dishonest because I know, that if I put my self

interest desires aside, I'm able to walk my tasks in absolute perfection.

* Fear of Missing out the Positive as Entertainment

 

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* Fear of being exposed as self dishonest because I know, that if I put my self

interest desires aside, I'm able to walk my tasks in absolute perfection.

 

Self Forgiveness:

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to - Despite of seeing my own self-dishonesties through observing my own thoughts/backchats, I've developed a relationship towards being self dishonest and had hold that relationship so dearly through developing FEAR of being exposed for what I've accepted and allowed instead of standing up, Face myself as all that I've accepted and allowed myself to be and become, inside and out and obviously - change myself accordingly.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to place my own desire as valuable, and in that, disregarding the principle of that which is best for all life as that principle do not stand in alignment to my own self interest desires and within that, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to FALL within moments where my self interest desires override the principle of that which is best for all lives, deliberately because one ALWAYS know what one is accepting and allowing within oneself but one would justify and validate why one should pursue one's desires and make it OK within one's eyes despite of seeing, directly what one is accepting and allowing oneself to participate with, one's own deliberate self dishonesty within the hope that no one would notice, no one will be effected or harm because only self knows what self is planning, and justify in one's mind and in that, one would FEAR being exposed so that one could keep on acting in on the behalf on one's self interest and remain an abuser of Life without ever having to take SELF responsibility and change.

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to deliberately round the corners and walk a task till it's acceptable, but not perfect within the excuse that I don't have time and I have many other tasks waiting in queue and I simply can't invest my time in walking in perfection. Within that, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to ignore, suppress, hide and avoid my inner self honesty force of stopping myself for harming, sabotaging and compromising myself within my accepted and allowed decision to round the corners instead of walking in self perfection and as long as no one knows that I've compromised a task, I can get along with it, remain self dishonest and untrustworthy in fact. 

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to truly believe that if no one knows about my inner thoughts and decisions, I'll be fine and everything would be OK, and within that, accepting and allowing the FEAR of being exposed because I haven't accepted and allowed myself to move and direct myself in self honesty, breath by breath and only FEARed being exposed as who I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become because my entire self definition is based on what others would say about me or see me as. In that, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to in spite of seeing my own fear of being exposed as untrustworthy, I have done nothing about it to in fact change.

 

Self Commitments:

 

I commit myself to - when and as I see I have inner conversation with myself, scamming how to round the corners so that no one would noticed, to Immediately Stop as I see, realize and understand the relationship I've created with being dishonest within myself and with that relationship, to fear being exposed because once I am exposed, the relationship I've created with myself must fall.

 

I commit myself to get HERE, Physically, in full awareness of everything the is HERE and to do that, I commit myself to assist and support myself to expose ALL my inner self interest desires as I see, realize and understand that unless I stand, within and as the principle of that which is best for all lives and in that, letting go my own self interest desires, there is no real and substantial change within myself and accordingly in the world as what I allow to exists within, I allow to exist without.

 

I commit myself to SHOW and EXPOSE the Evil that we have become within the hope and belief that what we think in the inside, doesn't harm, influence, sabotage and compromise anything and anyone and in that, I commit myself to prove that the EVIL exists within each and everyone of us and unless we come to terms with the fact that we are EVIL, no change is possible within oneself and this world as a whole. I commit myself to PROVE that when one accept and allow oneself to THINK - one is EVIL.

For Further understanding of EVILness - suggest listening to: Day 187 - EVIL – Journey to Life  and study the Quantum Mind on EQAFE

The REAL Fear - Day 192

This is a continuation to:

The Elite's delusion of stress - Part 1 - Day 45

The Elite's Delusion of Stress - Part 2 - Day 46

The Decision of TIME - Day 67

And:

Copy Paste Character - the Way for Success? - Day 183

Copy Paste Character - The Education System - Day 184

Is it possible to Cheat yourself? Day 185

It is time to STOP Existing as a Human Machine - Day 186

The End of Times - Day 187

Facing the Evil within - the KEY to LIFE - Day 188

Fear of Disappointing others - Day 189

The Psychology of TIME - Day 190

I Regret, therefor, I'm a Good Person. NOT!!! - Day 191

 

For the purpose of context, suggest reading these posts above prior to reading the post below, if you haven’t already. Here I will be walking the 'I don't have TIME' Character - Fear Dimension - Practical support with Self Forgiveness and Self Commitments.

 

The List below consists of the Fears which are the foundation of the 'I don't have Time' Character.

 

 

Fear Dimension:

* Fear that I'll disappoint other people if I won't take more tasks on myself

* Fear that I would be defined as unworthy because I'm not using my time to

it's utmost potential.

* Fear that I won't get things done and would regret it when consequences

would emerged so basically, fear of the consequences.

* Fear that I would be seen as not good enough, replaceable, inadequate

* Fear of being exposed as self dishonest because I know, that if I put my self

interest desires aside, I'm able to walk my tasks in absolute perfection.

* Fear of Missing out the Positive as Entertainment

 

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* Fear that I would be seen as not good enough, replaceable, inadequate

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to Fear not being seen as good enough, replaceable or inadequate without giving me the permission to see the REAL fear that I'm accepting and allowing within and as myself which is in essence the fear of loss the Value I've assign to What I Do. Wherein:

Fear of being replaceable in one's Job/work is in itself clearly shows that one had assign value towards one's Job/work through which one is defining oneself as worthy and when one is being replaced, one take it personally because one defined oneself as one's Job/work.

Fear of feeling Inadequate implies that again, one had taken one's Job/work as one's self definition and thus, when the outcome isn't meet one's or other's expectation, one take it personally instead of Stopping for a moment, breath and see, in self honesty whether one should invest the time and effort in aligning one's skills, perfect oneself, learn from other's example and from there, walk in every moment within and as self trust.

Fear of being seen as no good enough is again, taking things personally because one could have investigated where one wasn't standing within and as the principle of that which is best for all and accordingly, align oneself but when taking things personally, one is so possessed in one's mind that no Common sense is seen or considered.

 

Within that thus, I commit myself to - when and as I see a thought and or reaction in the nature of fear of losing a point that I've defined myself as, to Stop, Breathe, and investigate in self honest why and how I've accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from who I am to such an extant that I've limited myself to only this one point as self definition instead of Value myself as who I am as I direct, move and support myself in walking breath by breath, in getting myself back Here and out of the mind. I see, realize and understand that Value myself as Who I am isn't base on energy movement, on self definition, on others to validate myself. Value myself means that I recognized that I'm Here, and that I'm walking towards getting Here, as Who I am and within that, assisting and supporting myself in making decision that are supportive in fact as a principle of Life that is best for all and in that, not accepting and allowing myself to fuck myself with automated reactions, thoughts, behaviours that originated from Fears which I haven't taken the responsibility to look at, investigate, realize myself and accordingly direct.